Influencing Others:If I Only Had the Power…Session 4106

Presented by Doug D. Whittle, Partner The Diagonal Group, LLC

Areas we will cover

Strategies for overcoming resistance

Concepts of influencing

The art of selling

Challenges of influencing

Truths• There is no silver bullet

• One size does not fit all

• Persuasion, influence & negotiation…

both a skill and an art

• Practice makes perfect

• You can not control others

• You can control yourself

• You accept responsibility for your actions,

reactions, decisions, and emotions

• You share responsibility for the success of

your team

You must agree

Power?

Authority?

Positional Power

8. Lead & Make It Happen

7. Find Solutions

6. “Own It”

5. Acknowledge Reality

4. Wait & Hope

3. “I can’t” - Excuses

2. Blame Others

1. Unaware / Unconscious

powerless

POWERFUL

Whenyou

thinkyou are

powerful,you are.

Whenothersthinkyou arepowerful,you are.

If you always dowhat you’ve always done,

you will always getwhat you’ve always got.

Stakeholder• Anyone with a vested interest in the

outcome of your mission & initiatives• Interest groups to whom your organization

is accountable

You have more than one!

Stakeholder questions

Level of support? Low, Medium, High?

Your needs? What do you want?

Their needs?What do they want?How can they block?What can you offer?

Your strategy?How can you enhance this stakeholder’s support?

IndividualStakeholde

r

Positioning

IF…

• You have the expertise.

• Others need your help.

• They don’t necessarily know they need your help.

• You want to get something done for the good of your organization but aren’t necessarily in charge of the resources to do it…

Salesperson

40% Close

30% Present

20% Qualify

10% Trust Trust 40%

Qualify 30%

Present 20%

Close10%

Two models of selling

it is!whatIt is

Reality

Top salesperson

QQ uaualitilitieses

6

Knowledge

SUCCESS

Attitudes

Skills

Behaviors

Before thesale begins

Identifyingneeds

Proposing

Dealing withresistance

Gainingcommitment

Follow-up

Sell unto others as you

would be sold unto.

XTTHHEEYY

Color quadrantsstructured

detailed

realistic

challenging

bold

big

safe

thoughtful

value-based

fantasticpassionate

beyond yourwildest dreams

Demonstrated behaviorsquestioningdeliberatecautiousprecise

formal

strong-willedcompetitivedemandingdeterminedpurposeful

caringpatientsharingrelaxedencouraging

sociabledynamic

persuasiveenthusiastic

demonstrative

…on a bad daysuspiciousindecisivereservedstuffycold

overbearingaggressivecontrollingintolerant

driving

blanddocilereliantstubbornplodding

hastyfrantic

excitableindiscreet

flamboyant

Let’s do it

RIGHTLet’s do it

NOW

Let’s do it in a

CARING way

Let’s do it

TOGETHER

cautiousprecisedeliberatequestioningformalanalytical

competitivedemandingdetermined

strong-willedpurposeful

driver

caringencouragingsharingpatientrelaxedamiable

sociabledynamic

demonstrativeenthusiasticpersuasiveexpressive

DOITTO-GETHER

DOIT

WITHCARING

DOIT

RIGHT

DOITNOW

If one does not

understand a person,

one tends to regard

them as a

fool. - CG Jung

be entertaining & stimulating be friendly & sociable be open & flexible

bore me with details ask me to work alone tie me down with routine

Do not

Do

Approaching and Communicating

be well prepared & thorough let me consider the details put things in writing

get too close or hug me be flippant on important issues change my routine without notice

Do not

Do

Approaching and Communicating

be patient & supportive give me time to answer work at my pace ask my opinion

spring last minute surprises push me to make quick decisions take advantage of my good nature

Do not

Do

Approaching and Communicating

be bright, brief and be gone be direct & to the point focus on results

try to take over hesitate or waffle focus on feelings

Do not

Do

Approaching and Communicating

CurrentState

DesiredState

CurrentState

DesiredState

Denial

Resistance Exploration

Commitment

Anger Checking Out

Peopledon’t resist change…

…they resistbeing changed

Edgar Schein

RESISTANCE

I don’tgetit!

Idon’tlikeit!

Idon’tlikeyou!

Reasons for

Not their ideaFear of losing faceToo much too fast

Unmet interest

BarriersOthers

See

Barriers to agreement

RESISTANCE

Helping others through

• Involve the other side– Ask for and build on their

ideas

• Ask for constructive criticism– How might we...?

• Offer choices and alternatives

Not my Idea!

RESISTANCE

Helping others through• Walk in their shoes

– Would I agree to this if I were them?

– Why? Why not?

• Review basic human needs– Look for intangible motivations

that drive their behavior

• Look for low cost, high benefit trades

• If-then bargains

Unmet interests

RESISTANCE

Helping others through• Help them back away

without backing down

• Show how circumstances

have changed

• Ask for third-party

recommendation

• Provide testimonials

• Share credit

• Give them the limelight

Fear oflosing face

RESISTANCE

Helping others through• Go slow to go fast• Pilot project?• Don’t ask for final

commitment until the end

• Don’t rush to the finish

*Caution: verbal

contracts

Too much,too fast

Overcoming resistanceFear

Confusion

Frustration

Resignation

Insurmountable

Over Committing

Resistance to Change

Unrealistic Expectations

Options!

Vision!

Collaboration!

Pride!

Milestones!

Client-Focused!

Ownership!

Accountability!

High

Medium

Low

HighMediumLow

Commitment

Imp

act

InvolveInvolve InvolveInvolve

SeekAdviceSeek

AdviceSeek

AdviceSeek

Advice

Stakeholder Impact

Hands-onHands-on

InvolveInvolve

InformInform SeekAdviceSeek

Advice InvolveInvolve

Options

Avoid a single solution

Generate new possibilities

Invent first, evaluate later

Best

Alternative

To a

Negotiated

Agreement

BATNA guidelines• Deploy your BATNA without provoking

• Use the minimum power necessary

• Try building a coalition

• Try to figure out their possible BATNA’s in advance so you can prepare

Options

LiveWith

ContentWith

AspireTo

Daniele Vare, Italian diplomat

Diplomacyis the art

of letting someone else

have your way.

?What is your culture?

?What are your politics?

?Do you take risks?

Risks exist

• What’s the risk of acting?– What do you risk when you speak out on an

issue in your organization?

• What’s the risk of NOT acting?– What are you putting on the line that you

might lose?

The policy ofbeing

too cautiousis the greatest risk of all.”

-Jawaharlal Nehru

At any moment…

Sponsor…commitment

Manager…exploration

Front Line…denial/resistance

“What’s the holdup?”

“It might work if…”

“No Way!”

TIME

At any moment…

TIME

At any moment…

TIME

?How do you define success?

Know your barriers

• What is the #1 barrier you face?

• Is it self-imposed?

• What is it… person, business, process,

organizational, technology, etc.?

• Who knows about it?

• Do you already know the solution?

• What are the other barriers in your path?

Address

behaviors

not

personalities

Fire

Aim

Ready

Fire

Aim

Ready

Speak when you are angry…

and you will make

the best speech

you will

ever regret.Ambrose Bierce

People followby example

…Know theshadow YOU cast!

Stop

Continue

Start

“Nothing worthwhile can be accomplished

without determination…

Good ideasare not adopted automatically.

They must be driven into practicewith courageous patience.

Doug D. Whittle, PhDdoug@theDIAGONALgroup.com

515.987.8989

For more informationThe Diagonal Group, LLC

www.theDIAGONALgroup.com

Thank you for attending!Please remember to complete and return your evaluation form following this session.

Session Code: 4106