India Currents - December 2014/Jan 2015

INDIA CURRENTSINDIA CURRENTSCelebrating 28 Years of Excellence

dec ’14 - jan ’15 • vol. 28 , no .9 • www. indiacurrents.com

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2014 Top Ten Moviesby Aniruddh Chawda

The Business of Fishby Dilnavaz Bamboat

The Sari Story by Kalpana Mohan

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THINKING OF BUYING, SELLING OR REFINANCING?

When Do You Stop Parenting?“Did you eat breakfast this morning,”

I asked my daughter, a few weeks after I’d dropped her off at her college dorm. There was an imperceptible pause before she an-swered, “No.”

My daughter’s hesitation registered and it was a stunning moment of realization for me.

I’ve been on the parenting treadmill for 18 years. I confess that even after I dropped my twins in college I continued to mechani-cally run at the same speed, and at the same resistance, asking the same questions that I used to when they were around: Where are you? When are you coming back? Did you finish your homework? Are you dressed ap-propriately?

It took that moment of consideration in my daughter’s response to underscore my own resistance to their liberation. Had I be-gun to smother my kids with my mothering?

Parenting imposes an imbalance. It as-sumes that I, the mother, am superior by virtue of age, experience and kinship, to them, my children. This imbalance must be irksome to 18 year-olds who are adults in most of the United States and the world. So, with each of my (concerned? inquisitive? intrusive?) questions, am I subverting the

principles of self-reliance and independence essential for adulthood?

I asked my friends the question: when do you stop parenting? And I got responses ranging from “never” to “now.” What be-came clear was that there was no one right answer, and no answer that could cover all scenarios. We, mothers and fathers, must find our own equation to stay connected to our children.

Eighteen years of parenting is a hard habit to break and it is difficult to let go. Especially, when I am consumed by nostalgia as I find pieces of my kids’ presence in their now vacant rooms: photographs of friends, graded essays, a map of the world and the books they once devoured. I have to remind myself that part of me has also gone with my children.

These days, I have discovered how to converse with my children. We talk about politics, people, professors and parties. I listen. I breathe hard and fast at times, but remain even-voiced as I respond.

The treadmill still sits, occupying space in my psyche, and for now it rests unplugged.

Jaya Padmanabhan

4 | INDIA CURRENTS | Dec ‘14 - Jan ‘15

INDIA CURRENTSLIFESTYLEPERSPECTIVES Northern California Edition

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Dec ‘14 - Jan ‘15 • vol 28 • no 9

3 | EDITORIALWhen Do You Stop Parenting?By Jaya Padmanabhan

8 | CURRENT AFFAIRSUC Fee Hikes are Not JustifiableBy Rameysh Ramdas

9 | A THOUSAND WORDSAdultescence, or On Turning ThirtyBy Ragini Tharoor Srinivasan

20 | OPINIONThe Business of FishBy Dilnavaz Bamboat

32 | POLITICSObama’s Immigration PlanBy Vivek Wadhwa

34 | LIVESBreasts, Cancer and MeBy Sudha Subramanian

84 | REFLECTIONSDiwali, Dharma and De-clut-tering By Mala Setty

92 | HEALTHY LIFELose Inches Not PoundsBy Lakshmi Reguna

96 | VIEWPOINTHomesick in My HomelandBy Priyanka Sacheti

101 | ON INGLISHThe Sari StoryBy Kalpana Mohan

110 | THE LAST WORDHas Democracy Been Compromised?By Sarita Sarvate

76 | Cultural Calendar

86 | Spiritual Calendar

15 | FINANCEInvesting in IndiaBy Rahul Varshneya

28 | DEAR DOCTOR Shy, Reserved or Introverted?By Alzak Amlani

36 | TAX TALKYear End Tax TipsBy Rita Bhayani

45 | RELATIONSHIP DIVAMy Husband Cheated On Me With a Younger WomanBy Jasbina Ahluwalia

60 | BOOKSReviews of Island of a Thousand Mirrors, Karadi Tales, and Why I WriteBy Geetika Pathania Jain, Sarah Hafeez

64 | MUSICTop Ten Albums of 2014By Vidya Sridhar

106 | RECIPESComfort CuisineBy Shata Sacharoff, Praba Iyer

DEPARTMENTS

6 | Letters to the Editor8 | Popular Articles

98 | Classifieds109 | Viewfinder

WHAT’S CURRENT

30 | Ask a Lawyer31 | Visa Dates

A collage of selfies, a visual record of our community

16 | Self Life

Classic Drive

By Bob Rupani

By Kamala Thiagarajan

25 | FEATURE

43 | TravelBangkok: A River Runs Through It

68 | FilmsTop Ten Films of 2014 By Aniruddh Chawda

India Currents - December 2014/Jan 2015

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Transcript of India Currents - December 2014/Jan 2015