Why Men Frighten Women and Women Shame Men and How It Destroys Relationships
In the Country of Men - THEME - Family and relationships
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Transcript of In the Country of Men - THEME - Family and relationships
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ThemeFamily and Relationshi
ps
In the style of a bad
American soapie
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The moral dilemma!
Does one sacrifice one's family for the sake of the larger good, or
protect one's family at all costs?
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Family
Love
Close friendships
…A time of crude savagery
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Mother & Son – Home &Away-the soap opera
• Even fifteen years of exile cannot withdraw it.
• A sons intimacy with his mother “has since occupied the innermost memory I have of love”
• A mother’s love causes her to send him away to protect him from the regime.
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Moosa• He protects Suleiman in exile• Will he overcome his displaced survivor
guilt?– Faraj is alive because Najwa intervened and
asked for Ustath Jafer’s help–Moosa sees this as betrayal – other’s have
given their live for the resistance– “cant bear looking at him…. The betrayal in
his eyes” (p207)
• He leaves Libya and never sees Faraj again
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Ustath Rashid
• An undying loyalty for a best friend
• They Die a Brothers death
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Parents and the Single Child
• ”woman was no longer good”
• “Mother and father were objecting to Gods will”
• BUT they
• ”reinvent life and make black days rosy”
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Then why oh why…
• did his parents send Suleiman to Egypt.
• “in every direction I turned but they weren’t there.”
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Family…the good, the bad & the ugly
• Even the bad relationships such as Najwa’s family who create her “black” life
• And the unpleasant neighbours she forces herself to be ingratiated towards
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When Faraj Returns …
• Family is made to work (On the surface) • Um Massoud and Ustath Jafar are united
despite their apparent distaste for each other
• Moosa and Jude Yaseen (the father of the “disappointed gaze”)remain close because they are family– Faraj’s unofficial ‘brother’ takes in Suleiman
and all that entails
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“At a time like this we should stay together”
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They pushed me away
as they cemented their own sense of family- ultimately
exiling me to Egypt, something I
find it hard to reconcile
This is not a quote, this is what I think Suleiman would be thinking
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Matar does this for us with Suleiman’s final words…. “Mama, Mama”
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