In Search of a Song Volume 779

8/4/2019 In Search of a Song Volume 779

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Jenell

Wilkie


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A Waterways ProjectPublication

Richard SpiegelBarbara Fisher

codirectorsThomas Perry

administrative assistant

Judith RosenbaumTeacher

Brooklyn College AcademyMadeline Lumachi

Principal

Richard OrganisciakSuperintendent

Alternative, Adult and Continuing Education

Schools & Programs

2000 Ten Penny Players

with funding support from

the NY State Council on the Arts

JenellWilkie


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In loving memoryof my Aunty Joy

Joycelyn Agard.

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What?

You screaming my name

Is driving me absolutely insane.Some say I am to blame,But they dont share my name.

Called a million times a day,But never once to say,

Youve done okI hope I one day may

A million times get to call your nameAnd see if you react the same way.Screaming back and asking for release

Just a few moments of some peace.So get off my backAnd step awayGive me a few momentsA few moments to pray.

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Destiny

When we first met

Who wouldve ever knownOur destiny was setIt was written in stone.

A moments glanceFrom your eyes to mine

Would make my heart danceAs though we were intertwined.

The touch of our handsWhen in passingWould make my hairs stand.

The feeling is truly enchanting.Now its like HeavenAnd all I can sayIs, I didnt know thenThat you felt the same way.

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Lessons

We always seem to say

Hey, I aint gonna be that way.But when our time comes to seize that dayWe fall back in the same old trade.

We sit back and talkOf the wrongs they did to us

But when our time comes to walk that talkIt turns out we all just pass

Thinking back on the things we learn from youngWe look at how wrong they seemedAnd how different we would be

But pass the same things down to our sons.See in the endWhen we look back around that bendIts up to us to change thingsBefore our life ends.

To change those wrongsDone oh so longAnd create our own new songs.

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Truth

Truth

What is truth?It is the opposite of a lie,What you seeWhen you open your eyes.The truth isWhat keeps things real.

What others seeWhen you show how you feel.If used for goodIt can make the unjust just.If used for badIt has the power to make you mad.

Either way, itll set you freeAnd make it easier for you to breathe.If locked inside all you have is a lie;And if lie begets lieYou shall become more blind.So, if the truth is what you seek,Open up.

If the truth is what you seekDont keep it shut.

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Two

Deep within my insides,

Lies my dark side.

Sinister, strongMad, and bold.My struggle no one knowsThis struggle is untold.

Fighting,Clawing away at my very mind.I battle,Striving to keep this darkness confined.

Pacing, up and downRound and roundYet, not moving.

Breathing,While in each breathBeseeching mercy from madness

Hiding within all my sadness.

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In,Breathe to keep the struggle aliveOut

All tension that I might survive

In and outIn and outHoping and prayingWithout use of my mouth.

I breath, I live I surviveAwaiting the next battleWith my dark side.

Sunshine (haiku)

Sunshine, shine brightlyUpon me, fruit of thine earth.Shine brightly on all.

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(Untitled)

Thy love you expressed to me

With all your heart and so much glee,Enchanted me totallyAlmost nearly captured me.In the sweetness of thy toneThy words sweep swiftly through my bones,Carrying me to a place

Where I would not let theeLove me at a lower rate.But at this sateYou say I deserveIn this placeYou and I alone,But alas I am no clown.Your ending wordsHave made my heart frown;Seeing then your true desiresTo extinguish my deep fires.So be gone from my viewFor me truly you never knew.

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Striving For Sanity Despite Emptiness

Every minute

Of every dayI sit here wonderingIn dismayIf I could everSee againThis one I called

More than my friend,Confidant favorerAdvocate for my mind.I hope and prayI shall findThis one

That understood my soul;This oneThat spoke and made me whole.When down and stressedAnd no one else understoodI spoke to herAnd then she would

Say, "with faith all things are possible.And I held those words to be infallibleUntil that dayShe went away.

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Then I stood and listenedTo others say,Shes gone home now to be with her Master,

When I just thought it a tragic disaster.Thinking,If possible why didnt you stay?Why did things have to be this way?But deep inside I truly knowIt was your time,

Your time to go.Your time cameAs mine will tooAnd then that dayI will see you.

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Stand

You keep beating me

And pushing me away.If this is how its going to beThen Im sorry,But I cant stay.

In this turmoil youve made me endure,Im afraidIf I dont leave nowI might end up on the floor

Bleeding to deathAnd asking, My God, why?Did you hate me so much?

Did you want me to die?Looking back on all those chances I hadWhy did I stay?I just made you mad.

But now it is time

For me for me to leave.Step back into the worldAnd relearn to breathe.

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Shaken

I could die today.

I could die tomorrow.I shouldve died yesterday,But yesterday was not my time.I used to stare out the windowLooking into space, so blind.But, then came that man.

Yesterday was not my time.I used to hate the worldFor the trials it let me find.But, then came that van.Yesterday was not my time.I used to wake up every day

Wondering if today Id lose my mind.But, then came the Lord.Yesterday was not my time.He grabbed me and pulled me in,Told me hed erase all of my sins;And as I ventured to ask whyHe said, Yesterday was not your time.

See, my child, for you I have plans.It may take a while,But youll understand.So just hold on a little longer.

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These things shall make you become strongerFor you to accomplish all your goalsAnd become greater than all your foes.

And, as I contemplated all these things,I barely heard the angels sing,Others may come and go as may.But, yesterday was not your day.

Time

Wasting it foolishly, as a child;Waiting to see what comes your way;Watching as you let it pass you by;Wanting to jump in and take charge;

Waking each morning with the sun;Weeping when others time is done;Wondering what tomorrow brings;Hoping it brings new and exciting things;Dreaming of surpassing all your goals;Fearing youll never surpass your foes;Passing through day to day.

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Scared

Bleeding inside

And nowhere to run,Funny how everyone thinksYoure having fun.You wear this disguiseTo hide those poor crying eyes.Some seek my demise

As I struggle to riseUp above my sorrows,Insecurities and fears;Reaching plateausOthers never dared.I try to step up

Out of this pit,While still tryingTo avoid all the hits.Those hitsThat push me back down,But I keep smiling to the worldWhile my soul holds a frown;

Smiling to thoseWho dont understandHow I struggle to meetOthers' demands;

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Battling againstMy deep drawn pains;Struggling to erase

Those horrid stainsSo awful that I chooseTo lock them inside;Lock them awayInside my mind.Yet my soul, Im afraid,

Might give me away;Then, will I choose to remain here?Will I choose to stay?

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Painful Moments

Now in this time,

Of which I imagineTo be of most unutterable pain,Remember thatThe day will comeWhen youll seeThe sunshine after the rain.

You will come to a pointWhere you will realizeThat although she is not hereThere is nothing for you to fear.So, when you feel a warmth,Know deep in your heart

That you two are never apart.

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Goodbye

Im not ready to close your eyes.

No, Im not ready to say goodbye.So many things I still want to do;So many things I still want to say to you;No, Im not ready to say goodbyeTo my close friendWho stood steadfast by my side.

No, its not that Im yellowOr my mind too slowTo understand you must now go.Im just not readyFor you to row that boatDown that everlasting stream

Leading right into Eternity.No!!!Im not ready to let you go.My mind sometimes goes blindWhen I think of a world without you;Afraid that I must might findWithout you I cannot make it through.

Say what ye may,But understand it will not stay this way.I will see you again!You who have been so much more

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Than just my friend.I will see youIn the end

Up on that chair beside GodWithout the worries of a JobTo be doneLeft un-done;Left to the study of one young.But for now

I will stay hereIn this landOf utter despair;Doing my best to make you proudLetting not by my judgement pass one cloud;Remembering good things from our past;Remembering good times, down to our last.

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Journey

Journey past

Journey throughJourney outStand tall. Stand strong. Dont pout.Journey outJourney pastJourney through

All the struggles that life throws at you.Journey outJourney throughJourney past.These here pains were made not to last.And if you make it out

And if you believe youll make it throughWithout a doubt, I do assure you,Youll no longer beCant you seeIn the eyes of both you and meAn outcast.

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Last Night

Last night

You said you loved meAnd that nothingCould stand above me.

I respondedAnd said, I love you,

Hoping you knewId always be true.

If this is loveWe claim we feelThen it should be wondrous

In all its appeal.In warmth, comfort and affectionIt should guide usIn the same direction.

If this is loveWe claim we feel

Then it should be honestIn all its appeal.It should be tenderPassionate and devout

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And not be clutteredBy worldly clout.Extravagance is infatuation.

Love is simple with no stipulations.

If this is loveWe claim we feelThen others should seeThat it is real.

Moving

Friendship lostFear

RegretSorrowAngerExcitementPrestigeJoyFriendship made.

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Listen

Lord, Lord, Lord!

Why doesnt anyoneListen to me?Why cant my soulBe radiant and free?I walkThrough this place,

Day to day,Struggling to findMy perfect wayWay back to those lessonsI once was taughtAnd find out how I went

Where I not ought.Lord, Lord, Lord!Why cant theyJust let me be?They call my name,But when I speakThey still cant see

I just dont bother.I say, "Why me?

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Love

The most beautiful of all feelings on Earth

Should not hurt.It should be warm and comforting.Love is affection,Tenderness, passion and devotion;Not the pain or angerSome might call love,

Or how they express their love.That love is not true love.True love is not only the physical,But what is inside.And, if there is nothing insideThen there is no love there.

True loveIs only found by those open to feel it.

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Missing You

Had I then sight

Of this great disasterI wouldve tried with all my mightUntil I was master.

Master of this thingWe call time

Tried and mastered itTo my own design.

Where time would have pausedAt our last, brief meetingAnd wed spoke of what caused

My constant feeling.The time we had leftI was untoldWhen your soul time sweptMy skin grew so cold.

Hearing the news of your grand departureI was left to live with regret and painful torture.

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? I.C.

I fear it.

It scares me.I yell and scream,But no one hears me.

I am afraidOf what it can do.

I am afraidOf knowing its true.

It destroys nations,Small and large;Conquers some souls;

And then takes charge.I sit alone,Contemplating worldly doings,Slowly realizingIt lies within every human being.

Dreadingly realizingIt lies within me.

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Can you now seeWhy my soul not fills with gleeWhen I see it inside

Both you and me?

Time

WastingWaitingWatchingWantingWakingWeeping

PassingWonderingFearingDreamingHopingBeginningEnding

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Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Man of peace and love,

Man of hopes and dreams,Dreams that reached the sky,Dreams for a time like no other time,A time when racist ignoranceAnd bigotry would not exist,Hopes for a world,A world where wed recognize each other

For the brothers and sisters we areUnder one God,Hopes for a hopeless world,A world that would shatter his dreamsIn a bullet,This man,Man of peace,

Man of love,Lost in that one bullet,And a sound rag outWith that one bulletAs if all time had stoppedAs the impact reached his chest,One bullet that would take with itOne of our nations greatestLeaders and champions,And with him his Utopia.

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Any Mans Death Diminishes Me

If all are for one

And one is for allThen any mans death diminishes me.

As members of this great race,We, the many pieces,Should act as a whole.

So, the faults of oneAre the faults of all.And the joys of oneAre the joys of all.

If one child starvesWe hunger.

If one man lay homelessIn the street

We are all cold.

If we feed the starvingAnd home the homelessThey will have joy.

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And their joy completes me.Any mans joy completes me.

Because I am a memberOf the whole.

Emotions

FearLoveAngerAnxietyHate

NervousnessEnthusiasmPassionRemorseConfusion

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A Hearts Wish

My love, thy words do wound me

To deny my love for thee.My heart to thee I did confessAnd yet, you left it in such mess.

It is true that youth does not lastAnd that present shall become past.

But my love for you shall move through time,Living and lasting longer than wine.

Do come with me and be my loveAnd we together shall stand aboveAll new seasons of endings and beginnings.

Our love shall stand there still living, still living.So put behind all hurt of thy pastAnd understand our love shall last,That my promises shall come true,For in my heart there is only you.

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A Dedication from the Heart

Since that first day

When I saw your sweet smile,Your luscious lips,Your walk and your style,The attraction I felt,Something said it was true.That night that we kissed

I knew it was you.That you and IWere meant to be togetherAnd that our heartsWould soar higher than any feather.For a time this dream was reality

But when you leftI went into insanityMissing your body within my armsMissing that smile that wit and that charm.That love that we shared I feared.Fore never in a thousand years had I daredTo dream of a man like you.

To dream of a manWho makes me feel like you do.

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In Search of a SongVolume 779

A Waterways Project Publication1999-2000

In Search of a Song Volume 779

Documents

Transcript of In Search of a Song Volume 779