8/3/2019 I Was Ambushed

1/2

I Ambushed Me!

Yesterday morning (afternoon actually, but morning to me since it was right after I got out of bed

following my night shift), the enemy ambushed me! I attacked Me at a time and place Me was most

vulnerable - wet and naked in the shower!

Man, this time I really outdid myself in being Mes own worst enemy - I mean I was CRAFTY! I

converted a common contraption - a standup shower system - into a truly diabolical weapon, an

ASARWaL. = Accidentally Self Assembled Rocketing Water Launcher.

Below is a post-attack picture of the shower system, rearranged so that it looks pretty much the way it

did before I converted it into an ASARWaL and engaged Me as the enemy.

Now Ill describe how I set up the ASARWaL

attack. I stood patiently waiting while Me

arranged his showering paraphernalia and

got undressed, placing his clothes and towel

on the bench behind Me. Then I let Me getinto the shower stall, draw the curtain, turn

on the water, and start to work on turning up

the hot water with the handle on the right

(not the left - silly Europeans).

Thats when I took over. While Me was

looking at the shower head and gauging the

temperature by standing under the water

flow, I continued messing with the hot water

handle until it just came off, unleashing a

most hellish water cannon!

You should have seen Mes reaction! I was

actually rather impressed by Me, AFTER his

initial shock - and relief - at the sight of the

water jet rocketing past his junk (DAMN, I

missed by a fraction of an inch) and against

the back wall of the shower stall directly

behind Me! Me quickly looked around for

the attacker, and upon seeing that it was I,

wisely decided against a counterattack,

opting instead to recover and regroup.

Me sprang into action by (1) keeping his junk

out of the rocketing waters path, (2) looking madly about for a few seconds, and (3) trying to stop the

thundering water cannon by grabbing the hot water handle and pushing it back in place. Only 1 and 2

worked, 3 was hopeless. Then I could see, as if in slow motion, Mes brain lock onto a good idea! Me

looked at the shower curtain (always mindful of where he was standing relative to the rocketing water),

scooped it up from the bottom into a sort of shallow bag and put that in front of the jet. Just in time

too, since things were getting awfully wet and messy behind Me! When the shower curtain came

crashing down, Me not-so-calmly adjusted things to keep the jet contained.

8/3/2019 I Was Ambushed

2/2

Upon his momentarily successful containment of the water cannons damage to the general confines of

the ASARWaL stall, Me frantically yelled out to the two Servicemembers doing personal hygeine things

at sinks just outside the shower stalls area, Help! Get someone to turn off the water to the showers!

One of the two looked past the curtain dividing the shower stalls from the sinks and toilets, saw Me

gallantly/frantically holding off the Water Bull with his improvised shower-curtain cape, then ran out the

door to get help. The other guy did as I next requested and picked up and put back on the bench my

soaked towel, shorts and shirt.

Thankfully for Me (stupid Mealways escapes the worst of Is intentions!), only about a minute passed

before the water was turned off by a member of the TCN (Third Country National) team that was

cleaning a shower/latrine trailer next door.

Once again, I and Me agreed to a truce. Until the next time, we ended our status as enemies, and

returned to being one person. I wrung out my clothes and towel as best I could, put the clothes on,

returned to my barracks room (a portion of an open squad bay made into a room by rearrangement of

wall lockers), dug out a dry towel, shorts and shirt and took a shower in a stall that I mercifully refrained

from converting into another ASARWaL and attacking Me again.