2012 Lenten GuideWeek 3

Occupy: God In Us

It’s taking me a long time, 40 years and counting, to even begin to understand what it might mean to have God occupy me. You see, I have found it pretty easy to believe that God may exist in that person over there or this one next to me, but when I’m really honest, I have not fully believed that God can occupy me. That disbelief has mani-fested itself in a variety of forms…insecurity, cowardice, indecision, victim-hood, and envy of others. I’ve spent a lot of time speaking out about the value and worth of others, especially the marginalized of society. That’s not necessarily a bad thing…I do believe in justice and that all people are worth love, joy, and have sanctity of life. However, going down deep into my heart, I realized I’ve been doing some of these things to prove to myself and maybe to others that I really am a good person. Wow! That’s a load to carry, isn’t it? I think a lot of do- gooders in the world can relate.

This past year has been an intentional journey of going deep into the center of who I am and explor- ing this conundrum. In part, it’s been difficult and required a lot of peeling back the layers. Given my religious background and upbringing from a young age, I was taught that it’s wrong to be selfish, that we should care for others even at the expense of ourselves…this is a sign of godliness. To spend too much time doting on oneself and learning to love oneself is narcissistic (a word I learned later in life). But here’s the kicker, this line of thinking actually alienated me from understanding that deep, deep within is God. Not in a way that allows me to boast of divinity, but in a way that acknowledges that I am a creature of God, worthy of love and care and joy. My reflections have also helped me realize that even if I fail at a particular task or venture, I, a person filled with the spirit of God, am not a failure.

Coming to a point where we realize that God is within and amidst even our earthly bodies can be powerful…in a transformative, not manipu-lative or self-serving way. Believing that the divine spirit is woven through every cell of our bodies allows us to live more fully, more at

choice, and more intentionally. Instead of going about our days as if we are in a rut of reactivity or cowardice, we are present to each and every moment…acknowl-edging our thoughts, emo-tions, and actions. We do not let inertia keep us from actively taking steps to make our neighborhoods or our world better. We do not let our insecurities dominate our choices. We take bold, courageous risks to learn a new skill, get healthier, or allow ourselves to be more vulnerable to others. We are able to be more fully present to the God all around us. I cannot begin to fully understand why we exist in this universe, but I have come to believe that fully exploring the God within and among us is an important task.

Recently, the NPR show, On Being aired an interview with John O’Donohue, author of Anam Cara, Gailic for “soul friend”. He spoke a great deal about beauty and understanding the beauty that is within us.

He states,

Beauty isn’t all about just nice loveliness. Beauty is about more rounded substantial becoming. So I think beauty in that sense is about an emerging fullness, a greater sense of grace and elegance, a deeper sense of depth, and also a kind of home-coming for the enriched memory of your unfold-ing life.

He continues,

And I think when you begin to get a sense of the depth that is there then your whole heart wak-ens up. You know, I mean, I love Irenaeus’ thing

from the second century, which said, the Glory of the human being, “The glory of God is the hu-man being fully alive.” And I think in our culture that one of the things that we are missing is that these thresholds where we can encounter this, and where we move into new change in our lives, there are no rituals to help us to recognize them or to cross them worthily.

(Beauty)...It’s not a neutral thing, but it’s actually calling you, you know? And I feel that one could write a wonderful psychology just based on the notion of being called, you know, being called to be yourself and called to transfigure what has hardened or got wounded with in you. And it’s also, of course, the heart of creativity this calling forth all the time

I found Donohue’s words such a powerful reminder to acknowledge the beauty within myself and in doing so, am responding to the call of God to be present to all that exists. My most recent ritual, simple as it might be, is to lie on my back over a foam roller or a rolled up quilt, al-lowing my arms to fall to the side and opening, literally and physically opening my heart to all that is. It’s been a simple yet transformative ritual.

I have this child-like desire to get to the end of the journey quickly. At my most pouty moments, I don’t want to bother with all the scenery of personal struggle and inquiry. And yet, the reality is that life is a mere flash, the journey is actually really quick and if I don’t pay attention and be present to every moment and my part in it, it will be gone. Part of my journey to recognize that beauty, that God, is within me!

Deuteronomy 30:1-19

When all these things have happened to you, the blessings and the curses that I have set before you, if you call them to mind among all the nations where the Lord your God has driven you, and return to the Lord your God, and you and your children obey him with all your heart and with all your soul, just as I am commanding you today, then the Lord your God will restore your for-tunes and have compassion on you, gathering you again from all the peoples among whom the Lord your God has scattered you. Even if you are exiled to the ends of the world, from there the Lord your God will gather you, and from there he will bring you back. The Lord your God will bring you into the land that your ancestors possessed, and you will possess it; he will make you more prosperous and numerous than your ancestors.

Moreover, the Lord your God will circumcise your heart and the heart of your descendants, so that you will love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, in order that you may live. The Lord your God will put all these curses on your enemies and on the adversaries who took advantage of you. Then you shall again obey the Lord, observing all his commandments that I am commanding you today, and the Lord your God will make you abundantly prosperous in all your undertakings, in the fruit of your body, in the fruit of your livestock, and in the fruit of your soil. For the Lord will again take delight in prospering you, just as he delighted in prospering your ances-tors, when you obey the Lord your God by observing his commandments and decrees that are written in this book of the law, because you turn to the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul.

Surely, this commandment that I am commanding you today is not too hard for you, nor is it too far away. It is not in heaven, that you should say, ‘Who will go up to heaven for us, and get it for us so that we may hear it and observe it?’ Neither is it beyond the sea, that you should say, ‘Who will cross to the other side of the sea for us, and get it for us so that we may hear it and observe it?’ No, the word is very near to you; it is in your mouth and in your heart for you to observe.

See, I have set before you today life and prosperity, death and adversity. If you obey the commandments of the Lord your God that I am commanding you today, by loving the Lord your God, walking in his ways, and observing his commandments, decrees, and ordinances, then you shall live and become nu-merous, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land that you are entering to possess. But if your heart turns away and you do not hear, but are led astray to bow down to other gods and serve them, I declare to you today that you shall perish; you shall not live long in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess. I call heaven and earth to witness against you today that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Choose life so that you and your descendants may live...

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Luke 15:11-32

Then Jesus said, ‘There was a man who had two sons. The younger of them said to his father, “Father, give me the share of the property that will belong to me.” So he divided his property between them. A few days later the younger son gathered all he had and travelled to a distant country, and there he squandered his property in dissolute living. When he had spent everything, a severe famine took place throughout that country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed the pigs. He would gladly have filled himself with the pods that the pigs were eating; and no one gave him anything. But when he came to himself he said, “How many of my father’s hired hands have bread enough and to spare, but here I am dying of hunger! I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me like one of your hired hands.’ ” So he set off and went to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him. Then the son said to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.” But the father said to his slaves, “Quickly, bring out a robe—the best one—and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. And get the fatted calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; for this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!” And they began to celebrate.

‘Now his elder son was in the field; and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. He called one of the slaves and asked what was going on. He replied, “Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fatted calf, because he has got him back safe and sound.” Then he became angry and refused to go in. His father came out and began to plead with him. But he answered his father, “Listen! For all these years I have been working like a slave for you, and I have never disobeyed your command; yet you have never given me even a young goat so that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came back, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fatted calf for him!” Then the father said to him, “Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. But we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and has come to life; he was lost and has been found.” ’