HWTM VIII-30 John Gray 11-29-11 - Jennifer McLean's ... · John Gray November ... His...

JOHN GRAY NOVEMBER 29, 2011

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Healing With the Masters: Volume VIII of 26 John Gray November 29, 2011 Copyright 2011, all rights reserved Jennifer McLean | Healing with the Masters | www.McLeanMasterWorks.com

Host Volume VIII | November 29, 2011 Guest

Jennifer McLean HEALINGWITHTHEMASTERS.COM John Gray

Jennifer: Welcome, everyone, to Healing with the Masters. We are delighted to welcome you back to

another show, another life‐changing show. The word masters, the word means so much, but while we may think of masters as the wonderful guests that share their knowledge and experiences with us each week, I consider you to be the master, each of you in this audience, you, the participant. No one knows you better than you, and no one is more uniquely qualified to transform your life than you. Today we will together discover the tools and techniques to heal, to continue to shift your life into love and light and, in the process, truly make a difference on this beautiful planet. Together we are a powerful community. You matter. You can light up the world.

Today we are so honored to welcome our very special guest, John Gray, Dr. John Gray. John is

the leading relationship expert in the world. He is the bestselling relationship author, in fact, of all time. John has made it his mission to help men and women understand, respect and appreciate their differences in both personal and professional relationships. John’s unique approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance. His many, many books, videos and workshops and seminars provide the most practical insights to effectively manage stress and improve relationships at all stages of love and life. His books have sold over 50 million copies — holy jumping — in 50 different languages in countries all over the world. His groundbreaking book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, was the bestselling book of the 1990s. It launched his Mars/Venus book series that forever changed the way men and women view their relationships.

In fact, I was hearing about people who specialize in creating man caves recently. That’s what

they do for a living. They create man caves for men, and I was thinking of you, John, as that was kind of your thing, wasn’t it, the man cave?

John: That’s correct. That’s correct. It still is my thing. Jennifer: It still is your thing. John: I have my own cave, and I’m talking to you from it right now. Jennifer: You’re talking from your man cave, no less. John: That’s right.



Jennifer: So it’s your personal thing as well as your recommendation. John: Correct. Jennifer: So today we’re going to talk to John a little bit about his latest book, Venus On Fire, Mars On

Ice, which combines his 30 years as a relationship therapist with extensive new health research to explain the connection between your hormones and relationships. John shows you how the often frustrating differences between men and women can be appreciated and used to create a healthy relationship full of love, passion and lasting energy. Welcome, John Gray, to Healing with the Masters. It’s wonderful to have you here.

John: Well, it’s a great pleasure to be part of this program that you’ve put together. Jennifer: Thank you, John. We all enjoyed your inspirational video, that you did for us, as well. I was

really looking forward to diving a little bit deeper into some of the health things that you started sharing with us on that. Let’s start at the beginning. It’s been 20 years since you wrote the bestseller on helping men and women understand their differences. So how have your theories of the last 20 years held up through the years? How are we still doing with that, and what’s new?

John: Well, what’s new — they’ve certainly held up quite a bit. The world has changed, however,

dramatically, and so the two differences — and I write about these differences in my most recent book, Venus On Fire, Mars On Ice — and they are the world has changed. Our stress levels have dramatically gone up, primarily because the speed at which our lives go now — I mean, a faster‐paced life actually causes a higher stress reaction in our bodies and twice as high of a stress reaction in women. So this is really key, in women compared to men, and this is really important, because stress affects our relationships, as well as our health, very dramatically. That’s the first aspect which has changed.

The second aspect which has changed is that, since I wrote Men Are From Mars, every

university has a gender studies department now. There’s tremendous amounts of research being done on gender distinctions, and they have new technology, which is doing the brain scans. Once they got the brain scans going on men and women’s brains and how they’re different, there’s just a huge amount of research that comes out, showing the differences between men and women that we didn’t really know back in the day. However, all of those research projects tend to now verify, on a physical level, the things that I was talking about on a behavioral level. So we see, as in the mind, so in the body, as in the body, so in the mind.

In that process, the third thing I focused on, as — began to understand how the brains and

bodies are different in men and women, is how food, nutrition or the absence of food and nutrition, of the right foods, can actually affect our brain and body, and that dramatically affects our relationship. So I have a much more holistic picture now, and I found it to be a necessity in my own life to hold that vision. Behavioral skills was not enough even in my own marriage to keep the passion alive, but due to the high levels of stress in the world today and the lack of nutrition available in food, I had to make more adjustments so that my libido would be maintained, so my energy levels would be maintained, so that my ability to be warm and loving and compassionate was not doused by the high levels of stress in our lives today.


Jennifer: Wow. It’s interesting, John, that you — I mean, the behavioral changes are still incredibly important, are they not?

John: Oh, highly significant. I mean, we can do the whole talk, and I can talk for weeks. In my

workshop I do talk about the behavioral things because — let me point out here that one of the number one sources of stress in life is, if you’re in a relationship, when you don’t have good communication. That is a major source of stress for people, but more importantly, the number one way to cope with stress of our lives is a good relationship. So if I understand what my wife needs to cope with stress, which is, for example, one of the key areas, is affection, if I learn the little ways to demonstrate affection to my wife and do it quite regularly, it can be a world of support for her, even though it doesn’t seem that important. Many men don’t realize the power of affection to a woman. It’s a dramatic increaser of a body hormone called oxytocin, which is now learned to be the source of distressing for women actually. Just a little affection here and the anticipation of affection and warmth and consideration, these things have a huge impact on lowering stress for women. Certainly it can affect men but not nearly as much as women.

Jennifer: So affection is — this is interesting. A strong relationship — it’s kind of common sense, but we

don’t often think about it, that it can be the cause of stress, and it can be the cause of actually releasing stress if we can have good communication skills with our partners and honor what our partners require as a stress releaser.

John: Well, exactly. We started out making a little joke about the man cave, which was a very, very

key idea in Men Are From Mars, is that all men typically — they’re from Mars — they go to their cave after going to work. What that’s about is a way to temporarily forget the problems of this life, forget the problems at work. He needs the time to de‐stress, and that’s particularly important. Now we have the physiology of that, how men and women are different, in that when you’ve worked hard and you’ve been solving problems, you tend to run out of a hormone called testosterone. Women run out of it too. It’s just that men need 30 times more of it, so this is something that’s more significant for men.

Just like if a woman’s exhausted, she wants to rest and get to recuperate. Really, resting while

you’re in the wakeful state, just sort of relaxing and so forth, one of the primary benefits of it is it allows you to rebuild testosterone. This is why you’ll see men, who if they’re tired, they’ll sit down on the couch and just read a magazine, watch TV or take a nap, whereas you’ll see women — they can be tired, but they’ll stay busy, busy, busy. Why is that? It’s not that she’s neurotic. It’s that literally her body doesn’t get what it needs from resting. She’s looking for another way of coping with stress, which is by creating a beautiful environment. When the environment is beautiful, it lowers stress for women. So when women are stressed, they tend to think, “Okay, how can I create a beautiful environment, beautiful relationships?” That will lower her stress, whereas for men, the stress reducer is simply to forget all problems and rest your muscles, and that will rebuild testosterone, which is vital to a man’s health, as well as to then help him have the energy to solve problems again.

Jennifer: Wow. So for a woman, it’s nesting instead of resting, so to speak. John: What a great phrase. I love it.


Jennifer: You can keep that, John. John: Thank you. Jennifer: That was free. John: That is wonderful. Jennifer: But men have to — it’s so interesting. They have to actually rest their physical bodies to

rebuild testosterone. That is astonishing. That must have been a real revelation when you figured that out. How did you figure all this stuff out, John? Did you work with some scientists, or were you experimenting on yourself in your own relationships? Is it through all the hundreds of thousands of folks you’ve worked with?

John: Well, you answered the question. Jennifer: Well, there you go. John: All three of the above. I’m a researcher and also a regular person. So the same challenges

everybody else faces in their relationships, I face, and I get to work with that, because I also have clients that come to me for counseling. I find that many of the same issues that are bothering them are the issues that come up in my own relationship. It’s a general theme, and that’s how I even developed the ideas of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Then I have resources of a lot of friends and groups I’m a part of that actually do this research on the brain, on the hormones, and I’m a researcher of research, so to speak. I don’t put the needles in and test people and so forth. I don’t have a brain scan machine, but I read the research. Actually I know a lot of the big researchers too.

Jennifer: Have they ever done some work specifically for you from your books? I know that your books

have culturally, basically, changed all of us, and I’m curious if it’s changed the research industry as well.

John: There’s no question in my mind that, based upon the ideas of the ‘90s, it gave a direction to

the researchers. For example, I was talking for years about women learning to, when they’re feeling upset, just to simply talk with a friend and share with them the problems that they’re going through will lower stress for women. You’ll see people talked about that. They’ve talked about men and women are different and so forth, but no one really focused on this is actually lowering the stress, producing the hormones, the right balance of hormones to lower stress in the body. Then the UCLA researchers — they certainly didn’t give any credit to me for the idea, but they decided to research that idea. Are there actual stress hormones that get reduced when a woman is talking about a problem?

Harvard did a really great study, which I like a lot, which is they took men and women in these

situations where — both men and women in a cooperative situation, which cooperation and nurturing produced this hormone, this nesting hormone, oxytocin. So when they have that cooperation, it lowers stress for women, but they found that, put men in that same situation, it raised stress for men. Put men and women in a competitive situation, competition, which releases testosterone. It would lower stress for men but would raise stress for women. Then


further research on that shows that the release of testosterone can actually inhibit the production of oxytocin, which is the stress reducing hormone for women, and too much oxytocin being released — or actually oxytocin being released can inhibit the release of testosterone. So they kind of balance each other.

If a guy, for example, is doing too much oxytocin activities, he starts getting tired really, really

fast. His energy level drops. It’s kind of like a guy going shopping with his wife. Shopping, by the way, is a great oxytocin —

Jennifer: I watch this in the mall. John: You can see it in the mall. One of the big oxytocin rebuilders for women is actually shopping if

they’re not in a hurry. Again, you have to have the right conditions, but if she enjoys shopping and she goes shopping, it’s going to be a big oxytocin reducer in her husband who’s along with her, and he’ll be trying to find places where he can sit and rest along the way. It’s just very tiring for him. Now, if he’s shopping on his own, he doesn’t get tired, because then he’s in control of himself. He knows where we’re going. A guy sort of has to have a goal. He knows we’re going to get in, we’re going to buy, we’re going to get out.

Jennifer: He’s going for that wooly mammoth, and that’s it. John: That’s right. Jennifer: In the form of a pair of pants. John: That’s right. Anyway, the whole cultural climate has taken on these ideas, and what’s great is

that they’re at least trying to understand them, and the research tends to back it up. Jennifer: Yeah. It’s interesting. I heard something about an oxytocin breath. I think that came from

you, that women can actually induce a state of oxytocin through a specific breathing pattern. Is that true?

John: You didn’t hear it from me, but there’s wonderful techniques, that I know, with HeartMath,

where they teach people to do — you do a breath to the count of four or five in, a breath to the count of four or five out. That in itself doesn’t produce the oxytocin, but while you’re doing that breath, which is an equal breath, balanced breath, you generate feelings of affection. You think of who you love or think of a situation where you were loving in the past, or thinking of a pet is often the easiest way to generate feelings of love. While you’re generating those feelings of love, kind of like a meditation — there’s also Buddhist meditation like this — your heart will actually release more oxytocin. So oxytocin levels will go up.

Jennifer: So for men, what is something, a technique they could use, besides just resting? Is there

something that you’ve heard of? Does that HeartMath process help men as well? It’s obviously a different process in testosterone building.

John: Well, I think the aspect of — for men, love is very important. I don’t want to minimize that at

all. Oxytocin is something that we men also enjoy. It makes us feel good. It’s loving. It’s the loving hormone. When we’re feeling loving, our body is releasing oxytocin. There’s a


difference between men and women, in that oxytocin has a huge stress‐reducing aspect to it for women and not so much for men. This may simply be because testosterone inhibits the release of oxytocin, so men just don’t feel the effects of oxytocin as strongly.

They also found out that oxytocin lowers stress more in married women than non‐married

women. That was interesting. Also oxytocin reduces stress more effectively if you have balanced estrogen levels. If you’re really low on estrogen, oxytocin doesn’t lower your stress much. So there’s a lot of other factors involved in this, but oxytocin tends to be the key mediator. For men, they don’t lose oxytocin as much. So a woman will fluctuate. She can spend her day being nurturing to other people, and she’ll come home empty of oxytocin. When you give love, you use up your oxytocin. Men, when they give love, they don’t seem to use up much of their oxytocin.

Jennifer: That’s interesting. John: The time when they do use up a lot of oxytocin is, in fact, for both men and women, at the

time of climax. There’s a huge release of oxytocin in the blood stream, and since you’re using a lot of it up, the result of that is women feel completely rejuvenated, and they feel they can talk. They can share. If he wasn’t done yet, she can continue on, but for him, with that huge dose of oxytocin, it inhibits his testosterone release, and he’s back to sleep. He’s taking his nap.

Jennifer: Here we are. We’ve got these completely different ways and biochemistries and bodies and

brains, and it’s kind of a wonder that we get along. How do we use this kind of opposite chemistry to assist each other?

John: Well, that’s the amazing thing. If we just look at magnetics, if you take two magnets and you

have opposite poles, there’s a tremendous attraction, and if you switch the poles to a negative to a negative or a positive to a positive, you’ll get repulsion. You repel, and this is actually a little dance that goes on between men and women. We do have, in a sense, these different charges. A man is attracted to the female polarity. He’s drawn into her world. He’s curious. He’s interested. He’s attracted to her. He actually wants to go inside her world, and it will start to change his polarity. He starts to become more loving, more nurturing, more connected, but then, once you get both those polarities, they’re the same polarity, he’s repelled from her. So then he wants to get away from her, and that’s what I talked about in Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. It’s one of these basic concepts. It’s like the ABCs of relationship. It’s that men are like rubber bands in that they want to get close but then they’ll pull away, but when they pull away, they’re like a rubber band stretching back. He will want to spring back to her, because what he’s doing, he’s coming back to his own polarity by pulling away from her. Then he wants to get close again.

So in a sense, there’s this dance of the sexes, which is he wants to get close, and then he pulls

away. He wants to get close, and then he pulls away. While he’s pulling away, she pursues him, does anything to try to get him to come back. It actually causes him to continue pulling away. So the key is for women to understand that dynamic, and when a guy pulls away, do not go after him. That could be by going into his cave and saying, “Hey, what’s the matter? What’s going on?” Another way women try to keep men close is some women will punish a man for pulling away. So he starts to pull away. She gets upset with him for pulling away,


which is really her attempt to try to get him to not pull away, and some women, when he does sort of come back from his cave, when he pulls away, comes back, she now is going to give him a little of his own treatment. Then she pulls away from him, which is she withholds her love at that point, and then he just goes back to his cave.

I gave you one example of how disastrous these differences can be if we don’t understand and

work with them. I remember one woman said to me, she said, “My gosh. My whole marriage of 40 years,” I think, at that point, “Has completely changed. My husband,” she said, “He was a cave builder. He had tunnels in his cave. I’d come into that cave.” She said she was a cave buster. She’d go in after him, and he’d dig tunnels. She realized she was just always trying to get him to be closer by any means she could, and so he was always trying to get away. Once she just shifted and started not going after him but looking to herself and her own life as a source for fulfillment for a while and became happy regardless of what he said or did, then suddenly he was more interested in her, and he came out of his cave. They’re doing a new dance now, where she just enjoys his affection, his warmth, his attention when it’s there, and when he pulls it away, she doesn’t take it personally. But she learns to — and this is what I recommend to all women, is learn to be self‐sufficient at those times when your partner is not there for you.

Like we started out the interview talking about how affection is such a big oxytocin producer, a

major stress reducer for women, men can be one source of affection, but never rely on one source. This is part of neurosis, when we expect everything to come from one source. It’s like conducting all your money into one thing. If it’s not available, you lose it all. Instead you have lots of sources of love and support in your life, and that’s a key to that dance. It’s just so important. It makes relationships so much easier when you’re not expected to be everything for your partner.

Jennifer: And that’s both sides. I’m hearing in my head — sometimes I’ll hear my audience in my head,

and I can hear them saying, “Okay, great. So the man needs all this space. What about me? How come I have to be in charge of taking care of the fact that he’s going to be in his rubber band of emotions?”

John: That’s really good to know. What I’m doing is giving women the wisdom of how to draw men

in. What men have to know about women — and then I’ll get to what about me, because actually what I said is really what about me, is teaching women not to expect men to be the main meal but to look at men as desert.

Jennifer: I like that. Men are desert. John: Yeah, men are desert. Men are desert. There are many women I’ve met, who are divorced,

over 50. The kids grow up. The empty nest happens, and they haven’t really been building their relationship with their partner and vice versa. So they get a divorce, and I’m talking to them in one of my workshops. I say, “Well, are you happier now?” Most often they say yes, and I say, “Why are you happier now?” They say, “Because I finally learned how to be happy without a man.” This is the best suggestion I can give to any woman. The first step — there’s many steps, but the first step to enjoy a successful relationship is learn to be happy without a man. Look to him to become happier. You will have tremendous power to pull out the best in a man when you’re not needy. It is a misdirection for us to have to look to our partners for


everything, and it’s only in this present climate of the last 20 years where this is dramatically increased in women, a kind of neediness, only because a certain need is not being met by society.

It used to be society was slower and more rhythmic. You could count on things. It was an

easier time in many ways, in terms of speed. Therefore, life itself was an oxytocin stimulator for women, but when life is really fast, oxytocin levels don’t rebuild very quickly. So when women come home from work, they’re really needing extra stimulation for oxytocin, and that’s what I was talking about, like affection being one of those things. There’s lots of things that can stimulate the production of oxytocin. A man can be one source of it. Let him be the desert, and look to your life to create more oxytocin.

Since you did say what about me, I’ll focus on that for a moment. What a man can provide for

a woman, while he’s sitting on the couch, rebuilding his testosterone, is a reminder that right now you need to focus on being in charge of your happiness and not be relying on him. Second, you have this great guy in your life. How can you benefit from him? To put it very direct, how can you use him as a stress reducer? There are new tools that I’ve developed in my work, which help, new insights that really weren’t around on the planet, and it’s called communication. Women all want to communicate. Men want to communicate but in different ways. There’s a way that women can lower stress very efficiently if they can use a man as a listener and not as a girlfriend.

You can talk to a girlfriend, and that will help, but you can actually get more benefit from a

man if you teach him in a language that will work for him. I’ll give you an example of this, for him to simply listen. You just say, “Oh, honey, when you’re done watching TV or whatever, I just want to take about ten minutes and tell you what’s going on in my life. I want to do a download. I’m so glad you’re here.” You just dropped a bomb over there. He’ll say, “Well, let’s do it right now.” He doesn’t want to wait. He’ll be worried about what are you going to say. So never demand the talk. It’ll be like a man demanding sex. You just can’t do that.

Second, you just say, “When you’re in the mood, this would really make me happy,” something

like that, or, “I just want to take ten minutes.” You put a limit to how long the conversation’s going to be. Men can handle that very easily. See, already, if we listen to some of the listeners, they’re thinking, “Why should you have to limit how much you’re going to say?”

Jennifer: I have that too. John: Of course. That’s what women think. If you’re with a girlfriend, you shouldn’t have to limit it,

but when you’re with a guy and you want him to listen, it’s just like going shopping. Too much oxytocin — if he doesn’t know what the end product’s going to be, he gets tired very quickly. So you’ll see that this can work in ten minutes. It’s quite effective. It’s a simple download of your day, and this is a tool to use a man to lower stress in your body, which is — one of the key sources of stress is that women, if they’re in a relationship, for example, she has all these things going on in her life. He doesn’t even know about it. So she starts to feel — she could be sleeping right next to him, but she feels very alone, because he doesn’t know what’s going on in her life and what’s going on inside of her, and he doesn’t even seem to care.


Now, the reality is he assumes, “If there’s something you want to tell me, you’ll tell me,” and if there’s something he wants to tell you, he’ll tell you. But you see, that connection, that kind of connection, is generally not going to lower stress for him, but it’s a major stress reducer for a woman. So this is her taking responsibility to use her partner in a way that women never have, which is don’t expect him to be a girlfriend. Just let him be a guy, and with a guy, all you’re going to ask him to do is do one thing at a time, and that’s to listen. You’re going to promise him that you’re not going to ask for any response at the end.

Most of the time women give you a test. What did I say, or what should I do, or why did that

happen? And a guy, no matter what he says, it’s almost always the wrong thing, so let’s just put that one in there too. So when a guy’s listening to a woman, generally speaking, he will jump around in his brain. He’s listening for a moment, and he’s going, “Oh, my God. What am I supposed to say about that,” or, “How can I make her not feel that way? How can I get her to feel better? Why is she telling me that? I have to come up with solutions to the problem that’s she’s talking about.”

So while he’s busy thinking of solutions or busy thinking of what his response is going to be

about what you’re talking about, he’s really not listening. He really isn’t. He can’t do both at the same time, the way a girlfriend can. So what you want to do is use him for his amazing talent, which is to focus, and he will focus on you if you tell him, “Ten minutes. I don’t want you to solve anything. I don’t want you to fix anything. We don’t want to have a conversation about this either. I just want to download my day so you know what’s going on inside of me.”

Now, I’m not saying this is the only kind of communication you have with your partner. This is

a new kind of communication, which will lower stress. It’s simply like going and getting a massage, for example. A massage will dramatically lower your stress levels. It produces oxytocin. Particularly a non‐sexual massage will raise your oxytocin levels tremendously. You’re not having a conversation with your massage therapist, and yet it lowers your stress. It’s a particular tool to lower stress. Men are an incredible tool if you ask them to listen without trying to fix, solve, interject, give solutions or have a discussion but simply a one‐sided conversation where he listens, gets to experience what’s going on in your world, and then afterwards, he gets a little reward, because he feels that — you want to give him the message that this had some value or meaning to you. Otherwise, he’ll think it’s totally meaningless, as some women who are listening think, “Well, why would I want to do that?”

It’s like why would you want to have somebody give you a massage. If you’d never had one

before, you wouldn’t know, but this is tremendously valuable. The irony is sometimes people look at me like, “Why would that work?” And I go, “Well, I’ve got a long list of women who come to me for counseling, and they pay me money for me to do that.”

Jennifer: That’s what’s happening, isn’t it? They’re paying you to listen. John: That’s exactly what’s happening. They pay me to listen, and it’s 50 minutes. It is not just ten. Jennifer: Fascinating. This is cool. So there you’ve got this kind of oxytocin massage, stress reliever in

your husband, and all you have to do is use the magic words, “This is going to make me happy. I just need you for ten minutes.” Give him a time limit, and tell him that there’s going to be an


end in sight, that we don’t have to have a conversation about it. “You don’t have to fix anything. You just have to listen, and when you’re done, here’s what you’re going to get.”

John: Exactly. You don’t always have to spell out that much, but that would work too. That was

really good. The little reward at the end is just simply, at the end, you give him the reward, which is — the reward is just, “I feel so much better now,” and give him a hug. That’s it. Let him get the message. You might even say, “I know it doesn’t seem like it should make me happy, but it really does. Now I know you know what’s going on in my life.”

Now, this is a technique for just connecting. It’s not a technique to bring up, “All right, you

want to do this and this and this. Well, I want to tell you how I feel about that for ten minutes.” That’s a whole different story. That’s an argument. That’s a whole other discussion we can have, and that’s my basic Mars/Venus communication skills, but in my more recent work, what I found is the most important thing that underlies so much of the arguing or the lack of communication at other times between couples is the high level of stress. One of the symptoms for women of not coping well with stress, one of the symptoms — there could be many — is that they feel like, “Well, there’s no time to talk, and he won’t listen anyway, so why bother? What’s the point of it?” Now, if a woman says to me that, then I say, “Well, we have to get over that one, because this is a very important aspect of a relationship, is that you feel that connection.”

The irony here is you’d think for hundreds of years before this people would have figured this

out. Well, they didn’t have to figure this out, because women did not have such a great need for connection with their spouses. A man used to be able to make his partner happy by just being a good provider. That world is gone. That world is gone, and there’s a whole new role that men have in their relationships with women. Men don’t have a clue, and women feel the need. What I’m doing is helping women learn to communicate that need to me, and for the men that do take my classes and courses, I’m teaching men how they can provide that support, even if their partner doesn’t know how to communicate what it is that they need.

Jennifer: You take this even further in your new book about unsolicited advice, the woman’s home

improvement committee, better known as nagging. So there is a way to communicate with men that’s a little bit different. You kind of addressed this already, which is when the guy is on the couch, he’s resting, and we can actually create space for him to do that. But what if we have this honey‐do list?

John: Honey‐do lists are really, really good, and it’s the difference between nagging and requesting.

That’s the whole dimension here. Whenever you complain or nag, “When are you going to do this? You promised me to do that,” or, “We need you to do this,” or, “Weren’t we going to do that?” I’m using the we because that’s the royal we. Whenever my wife wants me to do something, it’s always, “When are we going to do this?” I’m okay with that one, but the key to it is nobody wants a boss in their relationship, generally speaking. What you want is to be in charge of your own time and your own actions.

Now, women can relate to that sentiment. Multiply it by ten, and you have a man. Women,

on the other hand, don’t want anybody to be in charge of how they feel, telling them what they should feel and what they shouldn’t feel. Men can relate to that. I don’t want somebody telling me, “You shouldn’t feel bad,” or, “You shouldn’t be afraid,” or, “You shouldn’t be upset


about this.” I don’t want somebody telling me to be upset, how I should feel, but multiply it by ten, and you have a woman. So these are your big upsets. With women, it’s somebody telling her how she should feel, trying to talk her out of her feelings, or for men, the upset and the annoyance and the resistance comes about with somebody telling him what to do. So that’s why you have this issue, which is women feel they have to nag, because you tell men to do something, and they don’t do it right away, because they want to be in charge of their lives.

It’s like I could tell my wife — I could say to a buddy, “Don’t worry about it,” and he’ll say,

“Yeah.” But you say to a woman, “Don’t worry about it,” and now she’s going to have to worry about it more.

Jennifer: Takes you out of a job. John: Right. So what we want to do is, when you resist someone, you tend to get more resistance

back, and change doesn’t occur. So you want to be able to convert your complaints and your nagging into requests. There’s an art to requesting without it sounding like a nag, and this is more than a two‐minute answer, but I’m going to give you some direction here, which is would you bring the trash out. We’ll take that example. As a matter of fact, my wife didn’t even have to ask me today. She just put the trashcan out where I would have to step over it, which was a request. Would you bring out the trash? Then a guy says, “Sure.” Then if he doesn’t do it, you notice that, and you say, “Okay, I’ll put it on the list.” So that’s it. You have your list. That’s your honey‐do list, and then you ask again for something. He says, “Sure, I’ll do it,” and then he doesn’t do it. Put it on the list. As you get to four or five things, you say, “Oh, honey, I think we’ve got four or five things on the list. I just wanted to remind you. Would you get these things done?” He’ll say, “Yes.” Then wait till the list gets to eight. Then you say, “Honey, I’ve got eight things on this page. Would you do this sometime soon?” And then he says, “Yes,” and generally he will do it at that point.

This is your first step in learning to ride a bicycle, is learning to motivate men to do things. The

woman has to practice asking without that sense of demanding, “I want it now,” because there’s already a sense of resistance and often resentment that she even has to ask. That’s true more for some women than others, but there’s that key. When women come to me and they say their husbands aren’t helpful or supportive or don’t say yes to their requests, already I know, in every single case, that just that she has to ask again is such a source of resentment for her. That’s part of what prevents men from responding in a positive way. What you want to do is learn how to motivate men and recognize this is a necessity in relationships. Then you go, “Women don’t have to be motivated. They’re overly working, overly giving.”

Jennifer: I heard that too. I heard all the women saying, “Wait a minute.” John: That’s the difference between men and women. We men, by the way, would love to have you

not be so motivated. Then you wouldn’t be complaining about everything you’re doing and you’re not happy. Men say all the time, “Don’t worry about it. Don’t do it. Forget it. You don’t have to do that.” Of course, that doesn’t help at all, but the point over here is that, however we look at it, if you look in the brains of women, there’s a brain chemical called dopamine, and dopamine is the motivator. It says, “I have to do this. I have to do this. I’ve got to get this done. I’ve got to get this done.” If you now understand the difference between men and women, you’ll realize, at the end of the day, most men have run out of dopamine.


The actual proteins that make dopamine are absorbed by men’s muscles when men are under stress. So men tend to run out of dopamine, but they tend to have plenty of serotonin, which increases when the proteins go into the muscles. Tryptophan goes into the brain to make serotonin, so men have this greater sense of calm, like nothing has to be done, and they don’t have energy to do anything anyway.

So he’s sitting on the couch and says, “Don’t worry about it. We’ll do it tomorrow.” She, on

the other hand, has plenty of dopamine, because under stress, her muscles do not absorb all of the proteins necessary to make dopamine, and those proteins in the blood stream block tryptophan from getting into the brain, so she doesn’t make that much serotonin. Men make a lot more serotonin than women. So you’ll see that there’s four times more women who are depressed than men, because they typically don’t make enough serotonin, whereas you’ll see that at least four times as many boys than girls will have a condition called ADD, attention deficit disorder, which is a function of inhibited dopamine function.

So you can see these differences in boys and girls. You can see it in adult men and women.

You see how many alcohol/drug addicts with men is much, much higher in men than women. Again, that’s all due to inhibited dopamine function. So what I’ve done over the last ten years is figure out what is the nutrition that will help increase dopamine function for men, what is the nutrition that will increase serotonin function for women. What I find is, if you look at the extreme case, where you have these disorders, people are able to come back into balance without the need for taking drugs to do it. People who are not the extreme but are just experiencing higher levels of stress than people used to, by making these small adjustments in supplements they can take and being aware of what food does to them, suddenly their hormones go into balance. Their brain chemicals start going into balance, and we’re not under so much stress. Then our neediness becomes less.

Remember, a man pulling into his cave is part of his neediness. So his need to pull away

becomes less. A woman’s need to relax by getting help, by nesting — “I’m doing all this nesting here, but there’s no end to it.” There needs to be a place where you do a little nesting and you feel fine, but if you have this neediness, because you’re under stress, you have to find, in a sense, what I call super‐oxytocin stimulators. The super‐oxytocin stimulator is having a man in your life, is one, and there are many other things women can do without a man. Getting a man to listen more, getting a man to do things for you, having a communication skill set so you can easily motivate him to do stuff — I just gave you a few tips on that, which is the list, but I know the list works really well in my house. Once my wife has asked me to do something three or four times and she’s not upset with me about it, I feel like I owe her a big debt.

Women don’t understand the power of that, of asking once and then asking again as if you’re

asking the first time, asking the third time as if you’re asking the first time. That becomes easier when you have a list. Never repeat a request. Just put it on the list, and then kind of hold the list up and show it to him without looking at him. This is another secret. When you look at a guy, his brain kind of freezes. You see, women, they’re always like, “Do you see me? Do you hear me? Do you remember?” With guys, to a certain extent, when they’re under stress, they’re a bit autistic.

Jennifer: Deer in a headlight.


John: Well, deer in a headlight, yes. You notice with autistic kids, this is inhibited dopamine

function. Basically they can’t take in the information. Jennifer: This is chemical. John: It’s all brain chemical, oh, yeah. It’s all about the brains, and our brains are different in how

we respond under stress. Understanding that gives us new ways to communicate with each other, which are more effective than old ways but have to change anyway because the world’s a different place.

Another one on asking for what you want — remember, that’s like a whole hour talk in one of

my courses, or even a two‐hour talk. There’s a lot of information on that, but here’s a few other tips. Women will often say, “Would you like to do this?” My wife might say, “Would you like to bring the dog to the vet?” No. It’s a completely different question. It’s, “Would you bring the dog to the vet?” Then he kind of grumbles inside quietly, and you say, “It would make me really happy.” Now, that’s the reason for doing it. You make the request, and always let him know the reason for doing it is because it makes you happy. This is the major motivator for men in a relationship. The major motivator for a man in the workplace is money. People say, “I don’t care about money.” Just keep raising the amount of money, and you’ll find out they do. Money is a big motivator in the workplace, but in relationships —

Jennifer: It’s more of a motivator for men, though, right, you were saying? John: More so, way more, way more, but keep in mind, why is it such a motivator for men? It

measures his level of accomplishment in our society, just because our society — if people didn’t have money, it would be something else. It measures his level of accomplishment in society, and that then has a purpose, because without that level of accomplishment, he’ll never find love. So men read relationship books just like women do, except they’re all in the business section. We know that, if we can’t succeed in the work world, we won’t find a woman to love us, a woman we can share with, a woman we can give to. This is still a reality in this world. We grow up in it, and these are realities.

But there’s also physiological realities that don’t even change when the culture changes, which

is that when men overcome challenges, it releases their testosterone, and it lowers their stress. So men are always looking for challenges to overcome. For women, when they’re nurturing and feeling nurtured back, loving and being loved, that is the major stress reducer for women, major.

Jennifer: Your book is called Venus On Fire, Mars On Ice, and it seems to me that there are more angry

women at men than there are men that are upset and angry with women. That might just be because I’m a woman.

John: Well, actually it’s because women tend to be more verbal about it. I think, probably, the

numbers are somewhat equal. For every alcoholic male out there, you’ve got a guy who’s not very happy with women. He just doesn’t know it. He’s just now replaced women with the bottle. In Japan, 40 percent of young men under 30, or something like that, have no interest in actually having relationships with women because they don’t feel like they can earn enough


money to get a woman, and they get their sexual needs satisfied through pornography. These are shocking statistics. It’s just we see that the amount of marriage, in the last 15 years or 10 years, has gone down in America by 25 percent. That’s a huge number.

John: That is a huge number. John: It’s like one‐fourth of the people that actually wanted to get married decided not to or are not

even interested in it. It’s a lack of satisfaction in our relationships, a lack of trust that a relationship can work out that’s responsible for that, but I’ll just come back to your point, which is it seems there’s more unhappy women. I was just giving a talk, and I happened to make that one point, which is women have to learn how to be happy without a man. There was a huge roar of delight and joy in the audience. “Yeah, yeah. We don’t need men. We don’t need men.” Basically, what I understand that to be is, unfortunately, is women living at a time where men really don’t know what women need or how to provide what women need and women not knowing how to communicate that to men or teach that to men in a way that men can hear it.

When men don’t have that knowledge, then they’re not able to provide what it is that they

would like to provide for women. So there is a sense — back to your point of unhappy women versus unhappy men, when you look at divorce statistics, many years back — I don't know what it is now, but many years back, the average time of remarriage for a women was nine years and for men it was three years. So often men sort of, when they’re unhappy with a woman, they tend to make it, “She’s the problem, but there’s plenty of other good ones out there.” For a woman, when she’s unhappy with a man, to a certain extent, not all women, but to a certain extent, it’s, “I don't know if I want to be with a man anymore.” It’s kind of a generalization. “I don't know who I can trust.” For men, it’s a problem they have to solve, and for women, it’s, “I have to be able to trust somebody again.” It takes time to heal that wound of trust.

Part of my work — I wrote a book called Mars and Venus Starting Over, which was showing

how men and women react differently to break‐ups and heartbreaks and loss. For women, a big part of it is learning to trust again and to be realistic. You cannot trust someone to be everything for you, but you can trust certain things. You have to find out what it is that you can trust. So it’s kind of like learning to give unconditional love and conditional love. You have to learn to realize that, “These are the things I love about my partner, and the other things I’m just not going to get from my partner, but isn’t it great what I have now?” Kind of like the story, I saw a man who was unhappy he had no shoes until he met a man who had no feet. Then suddenly you feel blessed and grateful for what you have.

It’s kind of like life today is that we have to learn to appreciate what we have and not expect

perfection. The challenge here with relationships is that the newness of a relationship stimulates the hormones that perceive life as perfect. Basically, the same part of the brain that gets activated when you take cocaine gets activated when people fall in love, not that it’s exactly a cocaine trip, but it’s like a drug‐induced state to fall in love. If you’ve ever taken LSD or ecstasy or peyote, these kinds of altered states, the world looks really, really perfect. Then drug addicts, people who have done these things, once they come down, the world looks as bad as it looked good. Now it looks as bad.


Well, to a certain extent, in our relationships, we’re a bit on a drug high when we fall in love, and we see that our partner makes us so happy, they’re so wonderful. Then suddenly they change, and part of that is our perception. As our perception changes, we lose the ability to actually bring out the best in our partners. So what I do is remind people of the tools, the ways to behave so that we can stimulate, not drug amounts of these hormones and brain chemicals, but healthy amounts. That allows us to be appreciative of what we have.

It’s just like I was making a point before. If you ask a guy to do something and he forgets to do

it, to be upset with him actually builds resistance, so he doesn’t automatically respond to your request and be happy to respond. But if you ask and you ask again in the same tone of voice — it’s just a mastery; it’s art to do this — you bring out the best in that person. This is with your children. This is with your co‐workers. It’s learning to live in a world that isn’t ruled by fear and intimidation or guilt and shame because you made a mistake and you did it wrong and you should be punished. These are the outdated notions, and today, if we’re going to survive, and we are surviving, but to survive, we have to rise to a higher level. Life is so fast. We have to find ways to be more loving, to be more intimate. This is the key to it.

There’s higher levels of stress but higher levels of intimacy, and love is actually an antidote to

that. So we’re kind of forced to do that. It’s a good motivation. It brings out the best in all of us to make our relationships work. It’s actually harder to do today than ever before, but if you can do it, you become a master of life. You’re able to rise to a higher person, to express a new way of living, which is more cooperative, respectful, compassionate, generous. These are the qualities of the heart that get to come out.

Like you asked before, about, “Gee, when men and women are so different, how do we coexist

together,” well, realistically looking at that, we didn’t. We’ve always sort of been in separate worlds, and we interacted, we connected through sex and a few other things as more of a business deal. He’s the provider. She’s the homemaker. We have our different jobs.

Jennifer: It was a bit of a transaction. John: Exactly, and today we have an opportunity for much greater intimacy. If you think about two

circles intersecting more and more and more, and to be able to completely intersect or at least to intersect more without giving up who you are, without giving up the authenticity of who you are, for a man to be more compassionate, more caring, more sensitive towards other people’s needs without becoming feminine himself, that is tremendously empowering to man. For a woman to feel confident and capable in the outer world, to earn her living, to be more self‐sufficient, at the same time feel the femininity of vulnerability, to feel the part of her that needs others, that depends on others, without defining needing others as weakness, because that’s what brings us together, is the glue in relationships. It’s the ability to appreciate who our partners are, what they offer us, and that appreciation comes from an ability to fill a need inside for love and support.

Jennifer: What you’re talking about here now, in even broader spiritual principles, that are completely

relevant to your material — you even have some kind of understanding of the hormones and biochemistry of how to make all of this work and how to be what you said, a master of your own life when you can understand the rules of communication, when you can understand the biology and chemistry of where your partner is coming from and, in turn, understand the


behavioral patterns of where your partner is coming from. To me, it creates this whole new space of being, that you are now not in a place of lack. You’re now in a place of seeing things that are almost — John, it almost feels like it’s a service‐oriented mindset, in a way, which is, “How could I be of service to you,” both of us saying that to each other, both sexes saying that to each other, calling out to each other.

John: That’s exactly what it’s about, and it’s always been about that for men and women. It’s just

that we are closer than ever before. If you’re dancing at a distance from your partner, they’re not going to step on your toes, but when you’re trying to dance closer, you can get bumped and bruised quite easily. That’s what happens today, but we can work it out. The way we work it out is taking time to understand that not everybody thinks the way I do. Not everybody feels the way I do, and let me take time to understand who they are, what their unique needs are and how can I bring out the best in them, rather than assuming that I have no part in that. Because I know that part of the secret of success in my marriage, for 27 years, is that I have the power today to bring out the best of my wife, and I have the power to bring out the worst in her. Literally, I can light that fire, or I can ignore it. She has the same ability with me, and yet, if we don’t have this insight into our differences, then we don’t have that ability because our partners, if we’re attracted to them, they’re different. They may not be different in all the exact ways that I’m talking about, but a lot of the things I’m talking about are quite universal because they’re based on the physiology, but those differences do exist.

By supporting each other, not to change who you are but to be more of who you are, that

actually increases the polarity, the passion, the connection between men and women so they can keep the magic of love alive, which becomes a premium today because our stress levels are so high. People used to not demand so much of their relationships because life was not as stressful, but today we demand more from our relationships because our relationships have the potential to not only help us cope with stress but to elevate our spirit.

To put it in more spiritual terms, as the human being’s soul, whether you’re male or female,

begins to actualize and individuate, become a unique person, self‐sufficient — and that’s part of the spiritual process, is to become whole within ourselves. As you become who you are more authentically, you now begin to experience a separation. You’re now more separate from others because you define yourself more clearly as unique and different. That need to now reconnect becomes even greater, and that’s why there’s such a resurgence — I won’t say resurgence — a new wave of discontent in relationships, because we want more from them. It’s actually a good thing. We just haven’t figured out, as a society, how to achieve that.

Jennifer: So there’s a real incredible opportunity for us to understand each other better through works

that you — and years of research in the content that you’re distributing, but also to just hold an intention of a compassionate space for others and to find the homeless within. It feels almost like you’ve got a secret formula going here, John.

John: Well, it is, and it takes time to develop, which is why I have the program. We’re going to talk

about my — it’s basically the principles that were the foundation of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. It’s a program I have called Secrets of Success, and it’s ten hours, actually about 15 hours, somewhere between 10 and 15 hours, but it’s ten sessions that people can listen to. They can get a download, which is now available to them. I think you’re offering it at a special price. Is that correct?


Jennifer: Yeah. The Secrets of a Successful Relationship is our special offer from John tonight, and it’s

ten sessions that’s going to take you really, really deeply into this material, give you the understanding of all of the differences and how we can support each other in compassion and also exercises and processes that can guide you.

Before we go there, John, I just have to do a little housekeeping. We have a thing called the

phrase that pays on our show. We give away $250 a show, and tonight’s phrase that pays is this would make me happy. Part of that is because we have so many women on our show. This would make me happy is our phrase that pays, and this is something you can share with a man, that in turn makes him happy when he makes you happy. Is that true?

John: That is the most brilliant thing I’ve ever heard. If we could just understand, often people

accuse me of just saying, “Hey, men, this is what you have to do to make women happy. You need to be more affectionate. You need to do lots of little things. You need to offer help and support. You need to plan dates.” All these different things I talk about in my program, and men say, “What about us? What about us?” I say, “Bottom line is if she’s happy, you’re happy.” All men will agree with that.

Jennifer: Perfect. Share a little bit more about this special. You can find it, folks, at: specials.healingwiththemasters.com/john Just share a little bit more about what they might experience there, John. John: Well, what we’re just talking about is learning how to ask. There’s a whole program on how to

ask to get results, particularly teaching women how to motivate men. There’s one on understanding how men and women experience intimacy differently, how to motivate a man to become intimate, what it means to him, what it means to her, how to communicate difficult times. We’ve breezed over that, talking about how we unknowingly create conflict and how we can avoid conflict, and once there is conflict, how to make up, how to apologize, ways that work for men, ways that work for women, basic understanding of how we tent to misinterpret each other. Because actual words we use have different meanings, we’re misinterpreting each other a lot, all the time, and more understanding of men in their cave and how to get a man out of the cave, men understanding how to listen to a woman, how to negotiate with a woman, how to validate her feelings. These are the different programs that are available in those ten sessions.

Jennifer: Wonderful. It’s a fabulous opportunity, and thank you, John, for being so generous and

offering it at the wonderful discount that you’ve given us. If you’re interested in really experiencing peace in your life by experiencing peace with your partners — and it’s not just intimate relationships; it’s also for your work colleagues, your kids, just about anyone out there — then do check this special offer. Again, it’s:

specials.healingwiththemasters.com/john


Thank you, John, so much for being on our show tonight. It’s been fun, interesting and so enlightening. I know that people’s lives are already shifting, and I appreciate you very much actually coming and joining us and delivering your content and passion.

John: Thank you so much. Jennifer: Thank you, John, and thank you, everyone, for being part of today’s show. It seems we always

come to these calls as individuals, and in the end, we wind up a united community and united in our intentions. We know we make the difference. We matter. You matter. I love you all so very much. Until next time, good night, everyone.

[End of Discussion]


Volume VIII | August 25, 2011 – December 1, 2011

McLeanMasterWorks.com

HealingWithTheMasters.com

MasterWorksHealing.com

BigBookOfYouBlog.com

Host

Jennifer McLean

John Gray | Featured Guest | November 29, 2011

Best‐Selling Relationship Author Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus and the Mars Venus book series MarsVenus.com

John Gray, Ph.D. is the leading relationship expert in the world and best‐selling relationship author of all time. John helps men and women understand, respect and appreciate their differences in both personal and professional relationships. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance. His many books, videos, workshops and seminars provide practical insights to effectively manage stress and improve relationships at all stages of life and love. John’s books have sold over 50 million copies in 50 different languages. His groundbreaking book, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, was the best‐selling book of the 1990s. It launched his Mars Venus book series that forever changed the way men and women view their relationships. John’s latest book, Venus On Fire Mars On Ice, combines his 30 years as a relationship therapist with extensive new health research to explain the connection between your hormones and relationships. John shows you how the often frustrating differences between men and women can be appreciated and used to create a healthy relationship full of love, passion and lasting energy. John continues to teach communities and companies simple ways to improve their relationships and communication. He has appeared on Oprah, Dr. Oz, The Today Show, CBS Morning Show, Good Morning America, The Early Show, The View, and many others. He has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today, TV Guide and People. He was also the subject of a rare three‐hour special hosted by Barbara Walters. John Gray lives in Northern California with his wife of 26 years, Bonnie. They have three grown daughters and three grandchildren. He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice.

www.MarsVenus.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/john-gray/

www.McLeanMasterWorks.com


www.MasterWorksHealing.com

www.BigBookOfYouBlog.com


Volume VIII | August 25, 2011 – December 1, 2011

McLeanMasterWorks.com

HealingWithTheMasters.com

MasterWorksHealing.com

BigBookOfYouBlog.com

Host

Jennifer McLean

Guest Speakers | Further Information

August 25, 2011

Jennifer McLean

Host of Healing With The Masters Launching Her New Book Body Dialoging: 7 Steps to Coping & Thriving in Extreme Times HealingWithTheMasters.com

September 6, 2011

James Van Praagh

Celebrated Medium Co‐Executive Producer of the CBS series Ghost Whisperer VanPraagh.com

September 8, 2011 & November 9, 2011

Ann Taylor

Energy Healer Delivering the Power Of Inner Healing

InnerHealing.com

September 13, 2011

Jacqueline Joy

Spiritual Teacher Life‐changing creator of Diamond Alignment for Equanimity & Joy DiamondAlignment.com

September 15, 2011

Eric Pearl

Internationally recognized Healer Creator of Reconnective Healing TheReconnection.com

www.McLeanMasterWorks.com


www.MasterWorksHealing.com

www.BigBookOfYouBlog.com


www.healingwiththemasters.com/body-dialoging-with-jennifer-mclean/

www.VanPraagh.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/james-van-praagh/

www.InnerHealing.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/ann-taylor/

www.DiamondAlignment.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/jacqueline-joy/

www.TheReconnection.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/eric-pearl/


Healing With the Masters: Volume VIII | Guest Speakers | Further Information (cont’d) September 20, 2011

Patricia Cota‐Robles

Internationally known Teacher Co‐Founder/President of the non‐profit New Age Study of Humanity’s Purpose, Inc. EraofPeace.org

September 22, 2011

Marlise Karlin

Internationally renowned Author, Recording Artist, Educator, Humanitarian “Igniting The Power Of Peace In People Around The World” MarliseKarlin.com

September 27, 2011

Jennifer McLean

Host of Healing With The Masters Launching Her New Book Body Dialoging: 7 Steps to Coping & Thriving in Extreme Times HealingWithTheMasters.com

September 28, 2011

Cynthia Kersey

Best‐Selling Author Motivational Speaker Founder of the UNSTOPPABLE Foundation www.unstoppable.net

September 29, 2011

Sherry Gaba

Celebrity Life Coach Psychotherapist on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew on VH1 SGabaTherapy.com

www.EraofPeace.org

www.healingwiththemasters.com/patricia-cota-robles/

www.MarliseKarlin.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/marlise-karlin/


www.healingwiththemasters.com/body-dialoging-with-jennifer-mclean/

www.unstoppable.net

www.healingwiththemasters.com/cynthia-kersey/

www.SGabaTherapy.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/sherry-gaba-2/


Healing With the Masters: Volume VIII | Guest Speakers | Further Information (cont’d) October 4, 2011

Sonia Choquette

International Best‐Selling Hay House Author Spiritual Teacher Distinguished Intuitive Advisor SoniaChoquette.com

October 6, 2011

Rikka Zimmerman

Spreading the seeds of Consciousness around the world. “All of life comes to me with ease, joy and glory!” RikkaZimmerman.com

October 11, 2011

Jo Dunning

World Renowned Spiritual Teacher, Author, and Master of Energy "The Miracle Worker" JoDunning.com

October 13, 2011

Barbara Marx Hubbard

Social Innovator, Speaker, Author, Educator Leader in The New Worldview of Conscious Evolution BarbaraMarxHubbard.com

October 18, 2011

Marci Shimoff

#1 New York Times Best‐Selling Author, Transformational Leader Leading Expert on Happiness, Success, and Unconditional Love HappyforNoReason.com

www.SoniaChoquette.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/sonia-choquette/

www.RikkaZimmerman.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/rikka-zimmerman/

www.JoDunning.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/jo-dunning/

www.BarbaraMarxHubbard.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/barbara-marx-hubbard/

www.HappyforNoReason.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/marci-shimoff/


Healing With the Masters: Volume VIII | Guest Speakers | Further Information (cont’d) October 19, 2011

Elizabeth Jones

Astrologer Extraordinaire and Gifted Intuitive Revealing the nature of powerful 2011 transitions AstrologyofLight.com

October 20, 2011

Don Miguel Ruiz

Best‐Selling Author of The Four Agreements Toltec Master Founder of The Sixth Sun Foundation MiguelRuiz.com

October 25, 2011

Neale Donald Walsch

Internationally Recognized Spiritual Messenger New York Times Best‐Selling Author of the Conversations With God series NealeDonaldWalsch.com

October 27, 2011

Maureen Moss

Catalyst for evolution of the human soul 4‐Time Award‐Winning Author President of the World Puja Network Global Keynote Speaker MaureenMoss.com

November 1, 2011

Deborah King

Master Healer New York Times Best‐Selling Health & Wellness Author of Be Your Own Shaman DeborahKingCenter.com

www.AstrologyofLight.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/elizabeth-jones/

www.MiguelRuiz.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/don-miguel-ruiz/

www.NealeDonaldWalsch.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/neale-donald-walsch/

www.MaureenMoss.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/maureen-moss/

www.DeborahKingCenter.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/deborah-king/


Healing With the Masters: Volume VIII | Guest Speakers | Further Information (cont’d) November 2, 2011

Kaitlyn Keyt

Founder Of VibesUP 3‐Time Visionary Award Winner for her unique healing tools VibesUP.com

November 3, 2011

Lindsay Wagner

Popular Actress, Advocate of Human Potential Author of “Quiet The Mind & Open The Heart” Workshops and Retreats LindsayWagner.com

November 8, 2011

Bill Bauman

Celebrated Leader of Leaders, Healer of Healers Dedicated Servant of World Servers BillBauman.net

November 10, 2011

Morty & Shelly Lefkoe

Founders of The Lefkoe Institute Morty is the Creator of The Lefkoe Method series Shelly is the Founder and President of the Possibilities of Parenting Center LefkoeInstitute.com

November 15, 2011

Geneen Roth

Oprah Winfrey's Mindful Eating Coach Psychotherapist Specializing in Eating Issues Author of The Self‐Compassion Diet GeneenRoth.com

www.GeneenRoth.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/geneen-roth/

www.VibesUP.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/kaitlyn-keyt-2/

www.LindsayWagner.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/lindsay-wagner/

www.BillBauman.net

www.healingwiththemasters.com/bill-bauman/

www.LefkoeInstitute.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/morty-shelly-lefkoe/


Healing With the Masters: Volume VIII | Guest Speakers | Further Information (cont’d) November 16, 2011

Jon Griffin

Composer and Musician Awakening the soul through music JonGriffin.com

November 17, 2011

Jean Houston

Scholar, Philosopher and Researcher in human capacities Foremost Visionary Thinker Principal Founder of the Human Potential Movement JeanHouston.org

November 22, 2011

Colette Baron‐Reid

Internationally renowned Intuitive Counselor, Educator and Motivational Speaker Best Selling Hay House Author ColetteBaronReid.com

November 29, 2011

John Gray

Best‐Selling Relationship Author Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus and the Mars/Venus book series MarsVenus.com

December 1, 2011

Mary A. Hall

Renowned Healer Abundance Life Coach Author and Speaker MaryAHall.com

Conversation Transcription Specialists Electronic Publishing | Broadcast & Mass Media | Marketing Research Business Communications | Closed Captioning PremierTranscription.com [email protected]

www.MaryAHall.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/mary-a-hall/

www.MarsVenus.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/john-gray/

www.JeanHouston.org

www.healingwiththemasters.com/Jean-Houston/

www.JonGriffin.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/jon/



www.ColetteBaronReid.com

www.healingwiththemasters.com/colette-baron-reed/

HWTM VIII-30 John Gray 11-29-11 - Jennifer McLean's ... · John Gray November ... His...

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