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F O U N D E D IN 1949 NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION
F E L I X D I N N E R
Cl on 17 M A Y T I C K E T S
rom the F E L I X O F F I C E .
EN L Y £4.50 s i n g l e and
8.00 doub le .
N o . 418 F r i d a y 7th May , 1976 F R E E !
p
Bike thefts A B I C Y C L E , be long ing to Mr
R B J o c e , was s to len l a s t
Wednesday from the rear of the
C h e m i c a l Eng inee r i ng depart
ment. T h e b i c y c l e , a red ,
10—speed Styer C lubman wi th
a 24 . - inch frame, i s va lued at
£80.
T h e b i c y c l e was cha ined
but not to a f i xed ob jec t and
was removed dur ing the day .
T h i s inc iden t i s the l a tes t
in a s e r i e s of thefts that have
taken p l a c e recen t l y . Most of
the thef ts take p l a c e dur ing
the day and are u s u a l l y by
schoo l ch i l d ren p l a y i n g truant,
s a i d Mr Dawson the C o l l e g e
Secur i ty O f f i ce r .
The C o l l e g e i s becoming
i n c r e a s i n g l y concerned over
these thef ts . Mr D a w s o n i s
a s k i n g a l l b i c y c l e owners to
ensure that thei r c y c l e s are
secu re l y fas tened and to
report thef ts immed ia te ly .
A n y in format ion on the m i s s i n g
b i c y c l e s shou ld be d i rec ted to
him at the Secur i ty O f f i c e in
the Sher f i e ld B u i l d i n g .
Loo
change
over Members of the Union are
hereby informed that from
Monday 17 May, the men's
to i le ts near the Union
Lower Refectory wil l
become the ladies to i le ts ,
and the lad ies toi lets on
the first floor of the bui ld
ing opposi te the ICWA
lounge wil l become the
men's to i le ts . T h i s wi l l
remain in force until further
not ice.
Scandalous says Teague IT A P P E A R S that the
Hardship Fund set up by
the U G C in a l l un ivers i t ies
is to be phased out'. T h i s
i s the impl icat ion of a
U G C di rect ive sent to
the C o l l e g e v ia the
Univers i ty of London'.
Only those students who
were he lped by the F u n d th is
s e s s i o n c a n be he lped aga in
nex t s e s s i o n , but on ly i n
respec t of the £70 inc rease
implemented th i s s e s s i o n . It
w i l l not be p o s s i b l e to use
the F u n d to he lp f reshers
and s tudents who have not
used the F u n d before when the
30% i n c r e a s e i n f ees i s
implemented next s e s s i o n .
Over £11,000 has been p a i d
out of the C o l l e g e ' s Hardsh ip
F u n d to 33 home s tudents and
127 o v e r s e a s students up t i l l
l as t Feb rua ry . T h e Hardsh ip
F u n d wou ld have to be a b o l i s h
ed once a l l the con t i nu ing
s tudents us i ng the F u n d had
left the C o l l e g e . The U G C h a s
yet to i s s u e a p o l i c y statement
over the q u e s t i o n o f the F u n d .
In a let ter to Mr Pe te r
Teague I C U P r e s i d e n t ,
in forming h im of th is ru l i ng ,
M r P e t e r M e e , C o l l e g e R e g i s t r a r
s a y s there i s no i nd i ca t i on
that th is ru l i ng was l i k e l y to
be changed .
Mr Teague has wr i t ten to
the R e c t o r over the matter . H e
has a l s o wr i t ten to the N U S
who apparent ly d id not know of
th is r u l i ng . Comment ing on the
ru l i ng , Mr Teague s a i d i t was
" t o t a l l y s c a n d u l o u s " . H e w i l l
be a s k i n g the R e c t o r to s tand
by h i s p ledge that no student
w i l l have to leave the C o l l e g e
due to the i nc rease in tu i t i on
f ees .
Mr D a v i e s , the C o l l e g e
Secre tary , s a i d yes te rday that
he stood by the R e c t o r ' s
s tatement . Students i n
f i n a n c i a l d i f f i cu l t y unable to
use the F u n d next s e s s i o n
" w i l l be sympa the t i ca l l y
cons ide re d by the C o l l e g e " ,
he s a i d .
Hain back at IC F O R M E R IC s tudent , P e t e r
H a i n , in conve rsa t i on l a s t
T u e s d a y , urged the C o l l e g e
to boycot t South A f r i c a n
goods and break off a l l l i n k s
w i th apar the id .
Mr H a i n was speak ing at a
meet ing of the L i b e r a l C l u b .
In h i s ta l k he dea l t w i th
i den t i f i ca t i on e v i d e n c e i n
c r im ina l p r o s e c u t i o n s , u s i n g
h i s own recent expe r i ence as
a graph ic i l l u s t r a t i o n of how
the law c a n go wrong. He
warned that a comple te ly
innocent bys tander c o u l d be
p l u c k e d out and a " d e m o r a l i s i n g
and te r r i f y ing e x p e r i e n c e " ,
i n f l i c t e d upon h im i n w h i c h ,
" f a c t s become d r e a m s . "
D i s c u s s i n g h i s c a s e , he
r e v e a l e d that the t r i a l had
"g round t h r o u g h " for two
w e e k s , spend ing £50,000 of
p u b l i c money, on the e v i d e n c e
o f three schoo lboys and a
f l ee t i ng g l i m p s e , by a c a s h i e r ,
o f the bankrobber . H e d i d not
th ink that the c a s h i e r , who
iden t i f i ed h i m , was d i s h o n e s t ,
merely m i s t a k e n . She h a d p i c k e d
h im out i n an ident i t y parade;
on the same day the E v e n i n g
Standard ca r r i ed a photograph of
Mr H a i n . Howeve r , f i ve other
w i t n e s s e s s t i l l f a i l e d to
ident i fy h i m .
H e c l a i m e d that there
were a whole s e r i e s o f
" t r i g g e r h a p p y " p o l i c e
p rosecu t i ons on doubt fu l
i d e n t i f i c a t i o n e v i d e n c e and
c i t e d the now famous c a s e of
George D a v i s ( O K ? ) .
P r o s e c u t i o n s brought s o l e l y
o n i den t i f i ca t i on ev idence
" p r o v i d e d more i n j u s t i c e s
than any other par t of the
L a w " and he advoca ted that
no-one shou ld be charged on
i d e n t i f i c a t i o n ev idence wi thout
cor robora t ion . Mr H a i n d i d
not d i s m i s s the no t ion that a
South A f r i c a n agent in L o n d o n
was d i s c r e d i t i n g h i m , but he
thought it u n l i k e l y .
Pefer Hain
A n s w e r i n g q u e s t i o n s
a f te rwards , Mr H a i n , a w e l l
known ant i -apar the id cam
pa igner s i n c e h i s d a y s in
M e c h E n g I, (he s topped the
'70 tour), thought that B r i t a i n
shou ld he lp fund the South
A f r i c a n l i be ra t i on movements .
R h o d e s i a and South West
A f r i c a wou ld a lmost ce r t a i n l y
a c h i e v e major i ty r u l e , and i t
was better that the t rans i t i on
be se i f t . H e s a w no a l te rna t i ve
to armed s t rugg le . " U n f o r t u n
a te ly v i o l e n c e w o r k s " , he
s a i d . T h e future o f South
A f r i c a he b e l i e v e d to be in
the hands of the U S A and he
we lcomed Dr K i s s i n g e r ' s
statement o f support for
A f r i c a n N a t i o n a l i s t s .
F i n a l l y , P e t e r H a i n , b i l l e d
a s " e v e r y b o d y ' s favour i te
r a d i c a l " , a l s o c r i t i c i s e d
Jeremy T h o r p e ' s i d e a of the
L i b e r a l P a r t y a s , " 5 0 yea rs
out od a t e . " A n y o n e b e l i e v i n g
i n the L i b e r a l s t rad i t i ona l
s t a n c e , he thought shou ld j o i n
the L a b o u r P a r t y , the L i b e r a l
P a r t y was not a par ty of
Government but a " r a d i c a '
a l t e r n a t i v e . "
2 m m
s m a l l a d s DEBATING S O CI E TY WANTED
Flat for 4 persons near' the college from September. Contact Joanna Smith via Life Sciences letter-rack^^
COLOUR PHOTOS
U R G E N T L Y WANTED
Anybody who has any colour photos (transparencies or prints) of events at IC, particularly Morphy Day and Rag events, is asked to contact Paul Ekpenyong or Clive Dewey at the FELIX Office as soon as possible.
FOR SALE AKAI 4000 UB. 1 year old. Good condition. £165 ono. (Price inclusive of KOSS headphones KO 727B in good nick, dust cover and spare spool). Contact Paul Ekpenyong in the FELIX office Int 2881.
Orienteering Cub Meeting and Lunch
12.30pm Union SCR
WANTED A Sennet Officer to liaise with said newspaper on IC matters. Budding journalists should contact Derrick Everett in the Union Office.
SUMMER F L A T S 11 anyone hat, a flat they would like to let to IC students over the summer vacation or if they would like to rent one, could they please see Dave Ra wns 1 ey (Studen t R es idence officer) in the Union Office.
FOUND A purse belonging to SA JACKSON has been found in the Seven Kings district and handed in to Ilford Police Station. Could Mr/ Ms Jackson please contact Jen in the Union Office as soon as possible.
Socialist Society
AGM
Tues 11th May
1.00pm
Union SCR
Accommodation For Students Already At T h e Univers i ty
Sess ion 1976/77
1. S i n g l e s tuden ts requiring accommodation a) room plus breakfast with/without other meals,
single or shared b) room with cooking facilities, single or shared (for
flats see 2 below) should apply by appointment to the appropriate branch of the Accommodation Office between mid-May and the end of term, preferably when they have a few free days in order to look at addresses. An address can then be reserved provisionally, no retaining fee is payable over the summer for bookings made at this time, but a deposit may be required.
After the end of term p r io r i ty for these types of accommodation is given to students who will be new to London in October.
2. S ing le s tudents requiring a flat for two or more people (ie one room plus) own kitchen, or larger)
may enquire from mid-May onwards whether any offers of this type have been made for October but, with only a few exceptions, it is not possible to book flats in advance (unless full rent is to be paid throughout the vacation). Therefore it is generally fruitless to begin the search until about three weeks before the f i rs t rent payment can be made, and the earlier in the summer this can be the better.
3. Mar r ied s tudents should apply by appointment (to the Malet Street Office), about three weeks before the f i rs t rent payment can be made and the earlier in the summer this can be the better.
A S T H E M O R E observant of
you w i l l have no t i ced , a new
s o c i e t y h a s recent ly been
formed, the Imperial C o l l e g e
Deba t i ng Soc ie t y . Some of us
w i th cu l tu ra l and ora to r i ca l
l ean ings had not iced the
s e r i o u s lack of regular
debate w i th in the C o l l e g e ,
and have gone
t rouble to remedy
d e f i c i e n c y .
Our introductory
took p lace at the end
term, at tended by many
in te res ted pe r sons . A f te r
comp le t i ng the ted ious d e t a i l s
of d e c i d i n g on our cons t i t u t i on
and e l e c t i n g a fu l l complement
of commit tee members, there
w a s much d i s c u s s i o n about
future meetn igs . Our a im is to
i nvo l ve throughout the C o l l e g e ,
both s tudents and staff in
thought-provok ing d i s c u s s i o n .
to some th is sad
meet ing
of last
T h e leve l of debate w i l l be
main ta ined between that of a
s e r i o u s ICU p o l i t i c a l debate
and the more l ight-hear ted
d i s c u s s i o n s to be found at
C C U meet ings . A s an en
couragement to p rospec t i ve
members, we a l ready have
two c u p s to be won : a
f r e s h e r ' s cup , and a trophy
for debate between the
three cons t i tuent c o l l e g e
u n i o n s .
The f i rs t meet ing of the
s o c i e t y w i l l take p lace
around the third week of th is
term, the motion under debate
be ing : "This house believes
an Arts faculty would lower
the standard of excellence at
Imperial College". A H
in teres ted par t ies shou ld
at tend th is meet ing , d e t a i l s
of w h i c h w i l l be adver t i sed
throughout C o l l e g e .
H a v e you bought any fau l ty goods l a t e l y ? H a v i n g t rouble w i th the land lo rd? Had a car a c c i d e n t ? Go t to appear in cour t?
KNOW your legal rights!
There is free legal advice given by LSE Law students every Wednesday at the Student Welfare Centre from 12.30- 1.30pm at the top of the Union Building.
The Centre is open Mon — Fri, 12.30 — 1.30pm for general info on contraception, abortion, accommodation, N H S benefits etc. Tube and bus maps given away. Time Out and N U S discount handbook available for consultation.
H A L L DINNERS - SUMMER TERM 1976.
Held on T u e s d a y evenings in the Sherfield Building. 7.00 - 7.30pm Sherry. 7.30pm Dinner.
C h a r g e s :
Dates":
D r e s s :
Hall Dinner. £1.95p (plus lOp sherry) Wine Hall Dinner £2.75p (wine and sherry included)
11th May 25th May - Wine Hall Dinner. 8th June
22nd June — Wine Hall Dinner
Lounge suits, except for the last Wine Hall Dinner of term when evening dress (black tie) will be worn.
C h e q u e s : Made payable to "Imperial College'
C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S to
Anne Johnso n & J a m i e S 'ee
on the i r engaging enterpr ise
—Love and P e a c e
A H their f r iends
N O T I C E The BBC would like student's to participate in live discussion programme (very general discussion). Starting next term (live broadcasts). Anyone interested see Derrick Everett.
U
GREAT HALL 1p
Pictures by Phil Dean
FELIX Photographic Competition
The compet i t ion i s open to a l l s taf f and s tudents of Imper ia l C o l l e g e , except members of the F E L I X staf f . T h i s year a l l en t r ies must be B&W or C o l o u r p r i n t s . There w i l l be nine c a t e g o r i e s :
General
1. P r i n t s must p o s s e s s a sur face area greater than 48sq i n c h e s . 2 . P r i n t s may be mounted or unmounted. On ly unmounted p r in ts may be reproduced.
3 . F E L I X rese rves the right to reproduce any en t r i es . On ly p r in ts made on g l o s s y paper may be reproduced .
4 . If there are i n s u f f i c i e n t en t r ies for any of the ca tego r i es pr in ts entered for those ca tego r i es wH l be judged under th ; G ene r a l s e c t i o n .
5. E n t r i e s shou ld have the name, department and year of the photographer at tached to each pr in t . 6. There i s an ent rance fee of lOp per compet i to r . A l l f ees w i l l be added to the p r i z e money.
7. L a s t date for entry i s 2.00pm on F r i d a y 21st M a y . 8. There w i l l be c a s h p r i z e s . 9 . T h e judges d e c i s i o n w i l l be f i n a l .
10. P r i n t s shou ld be de l i ve red to the F E L I X o f f i c e .
B & W C O L O U R Portrait L a n d s c a p e NaturaJ History General
Portrait L a n d s c a p e Natural History Photojournal ism
4 m i x
A Taxing T H E S T A N D A R D sys tem of
personal t a x a t i o n - in th i s
cou/ i t ry i s the " P a y A s Y o u
E a r n " , ( P A Y E ) sys tem wh ich
opera tes a s f o l l o w s : -
E a c h Taxpayer is a l l o w e d
to earn a cer ta in amount of
money free of tax each year ,
and only pays tax on what he
earns over th i s amount. T h i s
amount c a l l e d your ' a l l o w a n c e ' ,
va r i es from person to person
and is dependant on personal
c i r cums tances (mari tal s t a tus ,
no. of ch i l d ren e tc ) . F o r
examp le , the a l l o w a n c e for a
s i n g l e person i s cur rent ly
£675 pa (soon to be more,
T U C w i l l i n g ) .
T h i s a l l owance i s s p l i t
equa l l y over the week s o' the
year (tax yea r , that is) s o that
each week you w i l l have 1/52
of your a l l o w a n c e as f ree-pay,
that i s , not taxed . The w e e k s
of the tax year are numbered
from 1 to 52 (5th A p r i l onwards)
and the sys tem operates
c u m u l a t i v e l y . The tax paid in
any week is c a l c u l a t e d in the
f o l l ow ing way : -
Problem? 1. F i n d total pay to date
( inc . th i s week) for current
tax year .
2 . F i n d total tax pa id to date
for current tax year .
3 . F i n d free-pay to da te
( a l l o w a n c e / 5 2 x tax week no.)
T a x th i s week -
(1 - 3) x 35%) - 2
tax-rate - 35%
T h i s i s f ine if you happen
to be in fu l l - t ime employment .
It becomes much more
comp l i ca ted if you are a
student — you w i l l on ly be
work ing a few week s in the
yea r . C o n s i d e r a s i n g l e
s tudent , work ing over the
E a s t e r r e c e s s , earn ing £40pw
and returning to c o l l e g e on
26th A p r i l .
Rather than (s ic ) mess
about l i ke t h i s the T a x m a n
has arranged a s p e c i a l
c o n c e s s i o n for s tudents
whereby they s i gn an under
tak ing not to earn more than
thei r a l l o w a n c e in the tax-
year and he does not keep on
tak ing it away wi th one hand
and g i v i n g it back w i th the
other .
T h i s does not mean that
s tudents are exempt from
pay ing Income Tax (a popular
m isconcep t i on ) . They are just
a s l i ab le ; t hey just do not earn
as much as non-s tudents .
A t a l l t imes your tax
pos i t i on is personal to y o u .
You r parents do not a f fec t the
amount of tax you have to
pay a l though, if you are an
undergrad, you w i l l a f fec t the
amount your parents pay - If
they are c l a i m i n g a c h i l d
a l l o w a n c e for suppor t ing y o u ,
th i s w i l l be var ied acco rd ing
to how much you earn
( obv ious l y , the more you
earn the l e s s your parents need
to keep you) .
A n y que r ies come to the
Student Wel fare Cen t re - open
12.30 - 1.30pm. Mon - F r i , at
the top of the Un ion B u i l d i n g .
P S D o not forget that L S E
Students are now g i v i n g F R E E
lega l a d v i c e every Weds
lunch- t ime.
F E L I X Published by the Editor on
behalf of I .C.Union Publication Board. Printed Off-set Litho on the premises.
Fe l ix Of fice, PnnceConsort Rd , London SW7 2BB.
T e l . 01 589 5111 ext 1048,1042
© F E L I X , 1976
Editor P.Ekpenyong. Many thanks to Ph i l Dean, D a v e P i x a M P a v e H o p k i n s
Dave Knights, John McCloskey, Duncan 5u:.^., l e n y WesIODy, and extra special thanks to Ian for putting up with us a l l , and G i l l ,
Tax wk To ta l pay
1 £40
2 £80
3 £120
B a c k to c o l l e g e
4 £120
5 £120
6 £120
T a x F r e e pay P a i d to date
£13 n i l
£26 £9-45
£39 £18-90
£52 £28-35
£65 £23-80
£78 £19-25
T a x
due th is wk
£9-45
£3-45
£9-45
minus £4-55
minus £4-55
minus £4-55
PRIZE CROSSWORD No. 3 U
A c r o s s
1. Was t h i s a sa t i r e of the
search for 1 down and 38
a c r o s s (7,3,5).
12. A sort of N e w Z e a l a n d bi rd.
13. F r igh ten a let ter bearer.
15. Sound of repub l i c in anger.
16. E c i f i r o .
17. Re t t i ng gui tar .
19b Young f i s h sounds l i ke
Stardus t .
2 1 . A Sco t t ' s purpose
22 . Amer i can loo boy.
23b A Dead pound formed wi th
art .
24b F * * k a duck , but th is is
queer.
26. U S gaol
29 . Same as 22 down.
30 . See 45 (1,2)
3 1 . A par t ica l for a c a s t l e .
34. Rob a cup .
35 . A boy back from s p a c e .
38. See 1 down .
40 . K i n g ' s y e a r s i s top d o g .
42.1 w a s not we i rd to back an
even match.
43 . L o t s of bea t l es ' f i lms?
46. Sretap
48 . A conven t iona l m idd le
c l a s s b u s i n e s s man of
S i n c l a i r L e w i s .
50b Tut a t ide in pos i t i on
1 3 s I 7 7 '0
11
\
It- IS
1? Ik n
i 11
1 mm* 1" - i5 17
*' »1
%l - JJ 1 + Jt ;
Hi 4» Yi
_ r
*i 44 yi 3
p 1*1
1 r £i s%.
* ss i ' l
. _
L
it
1
u tx tj ! i
U ii, is. ti * ; /
rt 7S 1
I X ,
• v
78 — i — , 1
i
So
53 . N a k e d k ing beneath
55 . Permi t to go West?
56. R e c o n j C o . letter sends out
58. L e g at top
59. Not on 58
6 0 . J o i n t
6 1 . See 58 and 59
64 . Cu t p r i ce c h i c k no i s e
67 . F o o t s about? R a c e d
69b A rope m u s i c a l
72.1 doubt the one in 1 a c r o s s
Is the same as everyone th inks
of in a s s o c i a t i o n wi th the
author.
7 5 . Tyre lol - for arbi t rary
d i s t r i bu t i on .
76. Impetuous dash
77. C o u l d be canned heat
78 . B u c k e t ?
7 9 . S e e 78
8 0 . Spotted before the eyes for
i n t e l l i g e n c e , pe rsona l i t y , e tc
(9,6)
Down
1. The sea rch of pho l l s i phe rs
(of annotated I a c r o s s ; .
2. Thou s i n g l e f o o l .
3 . C a t c h the pure sum
4. Fo re ign f idd le r
5. A from f lower ing female
tops
6 . Imposs ib le for dwarfs
7. What 's a g rec ian urn?
(correct)
8 . See s i l e
9. Suffered from Watneys
10. A c t o r ' s turn
11. Indian c lo th from R H K art
s c h o o l .
13. Loud f i sh touch
14. eec had it L -shaped
18. A l c o h o l i c ova l t i ne pucked up
20. F i v e beers for va l l ey
24. F i s h for good hand
25. Ave rage e l e c t r i c
27. Pa land rom ic leader
28. Where to enter
32. Same as 29
33 . Dehs
34. F rench mixture
36 . Iga
37. Metal ba l loon cover?
39 . Round son of Rob
6 5 . Sa in t l y greet ing
6 6 . Deeps or c o u n c i l charges
68b E x h a u s t wheel rim
70. T h e g a l l e r y , e ' es t moi (I don' t
understand that)
7 1 . F i s h measure
7 3 . E G C 74. Rah I tren ;h
4 1 . Get up g i r l
42. See 79 44. Not par t i t ioned be sep ta
45 . See 30
64 . That of it
47 . N i n e let ters for lamb shark?
48. F r i e n d of beaver in 1 a c r o s s
49. Same as prev ious c l u e of
some answer
51 . Gur
52. At tempt to score
54b L i o n meat safe
55. Y o b
57. Non-con t rac tua l m isdeed
61b U s e d in 57 sec t i on
62 . F e d up w ' th mus i c i a n
63 . C h i n i e s e Hang or an up water
WARNING: Some of these clues
may be misleading!
There were no solut ions
entered for crossword N o 3 3 .
T h e cumulative pr ize of £2
wi l l be given to the first
correct solut ion drawn out
of the Ed i to r 's Hat at noon
next Wednesday May 12th.
T h e Ed i to r 's d e c i s i o n is
final'.
Solution to Crossword N o . 3 3
A C R O S S :
1. P r i n c i p l e s 8. Bead game
11- L A 12. Cry 13. Inane 14.
E a r l 15. Erne 16. Den 17. E s s
18. R o l l s 19. F o s s e 22. Gen
24 . Ion 25 . Ket 26 . Omir 27.
No tch 29 . Add 30 . ie 3 1 . The
g l a s s 32 . Scent o rgan.
D O W N :
1. P i l l i w i n k s 2. Nares 3 . C D C
5. Pane l 6. L M A 7. Spencer ian
8 . B a r e f o o t 9 . E y a s 1 0 . E n e r g i e s
15. C h e e s e 16. Do 20 . On
2 1 . N e c k s 22 . Radon 23 . Same
28. The 29. O l d .
ANNUAL DINNER
M O N D A Y 17th M A Y 1976
7.00 for 7.30pm
Union Upper Dinning Room
Tickets: £4.50 single,£8.00 double
Available from the F E L I X Office
6
A word f o m de sponsor H E R E I Y A M a g i n , de l i t t ' ry
pear ls o ' w isdom droppin f 'om
my mouf fas te r dan de
S c i e n t i s t s at de G u i l d s B a r
N igh t . A c t u r l y , I b in implored
by some notable number to
c a s t de expe r t i se an de
p o l i t i c a l unners tand ing on de
noo gumments r e s u l t i n ' f 'om
de recent e l e c t i o n happening
aftah de ce leb ra ted h o i s t i n g s
in de Grate H a l l , noos d w h i c h
on ly just r each in ' me ' c o s de
P o s t m a n , cant g i t up de s t a i r s
fo ' de f ly i n ' m i l k bot t les an
de dead miner on de p res iden t i a l
l and ing , b in se l l o t ape d to de
bann is te rs by de Y o u n g ' s
C o n s e r v a t i v e s if you a s k me.
I, off c o a r s e , am o f f r in '
my deepest c o n d o l e n s e s to de
loos ing o p p e r s i t i o n . I su jes t
dat dey s l i p a few s a c k s o '
de loot to de ex te rna l examina rs
to insure dat de nooly e l e c t e d
cab ine t s are becoming past o '
de 50% nat ' ra l was tage dat
d i s c o l l e g e am accus tomed
to these d a y s , a n ' if dey
a in ' t den there int nuf f in l i ke
a coo wot de G u i l d s pu l l ed
t h i s year when d i s H o y l e
item got h i s s tutor to bounce
de A h l e r s moneky out w i v de
freat o ' de degree h a v i n ' to be
cont inued v i a de cor respondence
c o a r s e . D i s nex year am gonna
be d i f f ' ren t . De s m a c k s o '
de f irm gumments go in ' to be
herd echo ing roun' de She f f i e l d
B l o c k .
E v e r y o n e gonna have to be
s h o w i n ' de proper respeck fo '
de noo R C S U P r e s bint on
account o ' her turn in ' roun'
q u i c k , l a s ' week a n ' a c c i d e n t
a l l y k n o c k i n ' four b l okes over
a c r o s s de d e g u s t l n ' parkey
f loor in de Un ion Ba r , wot
am a l w a y s s l i p p e r y ' c o s o'
de fac ' dat de revo l t i n '
m iners h a v i n ' enough t rouble
k e e p i n ' de iba in de pint pots
let a lone in de s t o m i c k s . No
doubt f o l l o w i n ' her aroun '
l i ke de spar rows roun' de J C R
t ro l ly w i l l be de number too o'
de R S C , de Steve Braund an '
de A d r i a n Sopwi th , de w e l l
known f ighter a c e .
In de m i n e s , de 'ard hats
g o i n ' be kept busy th ink in ' o '
sums inc t to keep de popper lace
content t i l l de next Herb
A lpe r t ha l l re lay race in wh i ch
de baton o ' de P r e s , Norm
L e v y , g o i n ' to be he ld by de
w e l l known Squadd ie .
De G u i l d s T r a s h bin g o i n '
down h i l l s i n c e de great O s s i e
b in superseeded by a memmer
o ' de equa l oppertuni ty s e x .
In "de r io tous e l e c t i o n t ak in '
p l ace l a s ' term, de Tom
The Met Soc meets
again Apparent ly determined to
test our loya l t y , the Meteoro
l o g i c a l and Env i ronmenta l
Soc i e t y not only he ld las t
w e e k ' s meet ing at 6pm, but
c h o s e a F r i day even ing for i t .
N e v e r t h e l e s s some 15 people
turned up, inc lud ing the
speake r , a Dr D a v i d P e d g e l e y ,
once of IC and now do ing pest
r e s e a r c h , who was to ta lk
about weather and the
migrat ion of airborne i n s e c t s .
I was to try and get the story
into F E L I X . H e looked l i ke
an i nsec t c o l l e c t o r : bemused,
s l i g h t l y bu i l t , w i th thin-r immed
g l a s s e s and a pu l love r s l i g h t l y
too large. I t r ied to look
l i k e a reporter w i th a l i t t l e
notebook and pen at the
ready , w h i l e the l e s s mot ivated
sp raw led w i th d i s d a i n at such
a swot .
But now i t ' s Monday
morn ing; many more b r a i n c e l l s
have been f l ushed to the
Thames and out to s e a and
that notebook in not proving
much help for the wr i t i ng . H a v e
you heard how 14 m i l l i o n
Or ien ta l Army-worm Moths
were ca re fu l l y marked by the
C h i n e s e before r e l e a s e , and
on ly 14 were recovered?
Apparen t l y (my notes are not
c lea r ) they gave them a
rad i oac t i v e f eed . A c r e s of
i n s e c t s s i t f l app ing thei r
w ings and do ing heavy
breath ing to reach the
" tempera tu re threshold for
f l i g h t " (The energy they w in
need once ai rborne i s found
by " t e the r i ng i nsec t s in the
l a b " , presumably to run them
into the ground).
I w i s h I cou ld g i ve a fa i r
account of the ta lk , wh i ch
everybody en joyed , but only
a few c h o i c e quota t ions
rema in . L i k e the d i s t rac t i ng
one about " n y m p h s becoming
s o c rowded , l i t e ra l l y on top
of each o t h e r " , or the c y n i c a l
" s t i c k in a l ight , or a female ,
or some rotten food, to
at t ract a m a l e " . But what
k ind of a story c a n you get
out of " m a s s t a k e - o f f s " ,
" s y n c h r o n o u s e m e r g e n c e " ,
" f i n i t e fa l l s p e e d s " and " a
locus t can see a locust at
30 m e t r e s " ? The last page i s
about a t r ip to E a s t A f r i c a :
" t h e only way to ca t ch these
f l i e s i s to s i t around and be
b i t ten . So f l y -boys were hi red
to s i t by the r iver There
may be a shock horror probe
there somewhere, but not
today .
The next meet ing i s a l s o
at 6pm, but on Thu rsday , May
13th , in Room 719 of the
New H u x l e y B u i l d i n g . " H a i l ,
ha i l s t o rms , and ha i l supp res
s i o n s " , w i th co f fee and
b i s c u i t s to f o l l o w . Wow!
John Shade
F i s h e r s a y i n dat de S Dear ing
on ly g i t t ing in on account o '
de o p p e r s i t i o n ' s count b e i n '
made on de f ingers w id one
hand in de pocket an 'de
t e l l e r s can ' t count over f i ve
widout de promt in '
D i s N i c k B r a y s h a w am
oughta be d o i n ' sumth in ' to
s top de IC Un ion mee t i n ' s
l ook in ' l i ke a conven t i on o '
d e I r ish branch of M E N S A .
E i t h e r dat or reduc in ' decorum
to one an h o l d i n ' de mee t in ' s
in de khaz i a n ' w r i t i n ' de
min i t s on de w a l l . If th ings
l o o k i n ' rough w i d de h a r a s s
ment f 'om de r ight w ing o ' de
N U F e x e c then he a l w a y s got
de P T e e g number aroun ' de
c o l l e g e to show him where de
s u r v i v a l o ' de IC Un ion is »o'
de D Evere t t a n ' de Snowy
White 'o s tar t s t i r r i n ' up de
popper lace w i d de cas t iron
micrometer , spanner a n ' any
s i m ' l a r t o o l s . A f t ah a l l , d i s
Un ion am in a s t rong p o s i t i o n ,
cont ro l I i n ' de noospaper , de
rad io , a n ' de T e e V e e , they
am bet ter of f than de 3rd R e i c h !
T P
T H E F A I R Y A N D
T H E P I X Y Sweet fairy, beautiful and true,
Give me your answer,
Tel l me do,
How shines the moon on you?
Dear pixy, I'm fine
As any sunny summer's day.'
Sweet smiling fairy maid true,
Give me your answer,
Tell me do,
W! 11 you meet me at nine
For wine and dinne
Tonight I trust
Together we must
Make the most of this bliss?
Oh! Virtuous pixy Sir,
Thankyou for your 'and invitation.
Accept I do,
And soon I will away
To prepare, this happy day.
My lovely fairy mistress true,
I thank you much,
I thank you, I do,
For now I know you rue the past,
Our time together can forever last
But for a short time
There will be wine
To confuse and amuse us
As we dance and romance
Down the road of true love.
So see you soon, my fairy love.'
Attend to those things,
Your clothes and your rings.'
Powder your nose,
Straighten your hair,
And, make your eyes shine bright,
For we'll be together forever tonight.
HOWARD PHILLIPS
M U X 7
R e v i e w s
Theatre Re-examination rewarded Theatre Review: ' E q u u s ' by Peter Shaffer at the Albery Theatre
The f i rs t t ime I s a w Pe te r Sha f fe r ' s
p lay Equus I found it to be an
imag ina t i ve l y s taged th r i l l e r about the
p s y c h i a t r i c hea l i ng of a boy who commit ted
a savage a t tack on s i x h o r s e s . S i f t i ng
down to see it aga in at the second
rev i va l of the Na t i ona l T h e a t r e ' s
product ion by John Dex te r ( th is t ime at
the A l b e r y Theatre) I wondered how the
p lay wou ld s tand up now that I knew the
outcome of the d o c t o r ' s p rob ings .
Wi th in s e c o n d s of the p l a y ' s start
I w a s , a g a i n , t o ta l l y abso rbed , but now
it was wi th the depth of the p iece that
concen t ra t ion on the purely narrat ive
a s p e c t s had obs c u r ed . E q u u s is ce r ta in l y
a p lay w h i c h , in that over-worked phrase,
repays re -examina t ion . It suppor ts ,
through the a g o n i s i n g of the psych ia t r i s t
over h i s attempts to br ing h i s pat ient
back to a 'no rma l ' e x i s t e n c e , the idea
that normal i ty i s deaden ing and that the
b o y ' s s o - c a l l e d insan i t y i s rea l l y a
p a s s i o n that those of us wi th empty
I i ves should envy .
The doctor , p layed by C o l i n B l a k e l y
w i th a warmth and sympathy that the
aud ience responds to, has problems of
h i s own wi th a w i fe who, we are to ld ,
soon lost any pass ion she may have had
and so her husband s e e k s fu l f i lment for
h i s psyche , second hand , by s tudy ing
the p r im i t i v i sm of A n c i e n t G reece and
i ts G o d s . He is j ea lous of the boy who
f i n d s , for h imse l f , l i v i ng gods in h o r s e s .
On paper, in one sen tence , that sounds
b iza r re and the brutal c r ime around wh ich
the play i s wr i t ten may seem fa r - fe tched,
a l though Shaffer bases h is plot on a real
inc iden t , but in the theatre the atmosphere
of s e n s u a l i t y and worsh ip c rea ted not
leas t by the marve l l ous representa t ion
of horses by men in s imp le though
ingen ious masks and he ighten ing hooves ,
fo rces us into the p l a y ' s e x e g e s i s of how
th in i s the l ine between gen ius and
m a d n e s s .
E r i c Stovel l
Over-abundance of talk The R o y a l Shakespeare C o m p a n y ' s
s e r i e s of Gorky p roduc t i ons , at the
A l d w y c h , con t i nues w i th The Zykovs.
T h i s is a p lay that i s l e s s over t ly
p o l i t i c a l than much tum-of - the-century
R u s s i a n drama; pa r t i cu la r l y bear ing
in mind that Gorky became the doyen of
R u s s i a n l i terature after the revo lu t i on ,
even to the extent of hav ing h i s home
renamed Gorky .
M i k h a i l Z y k o v is engaged to P a v l a
T s e l o v a n y e v a s ; s o o n , however , h i s
father s teps in and d e c l a r e s h i s a f fec t ion
for the g i r l . With the a i d of smooth ta lk
and f i nanc i a l i ncen t i ve (he is a se l f -made
t imber merchant) he proposes a marr iage
that is doomed from the star t . If a l l th i s
sounds a bit far fe tched you must
understand that P a v l a has spent the
past f i ve yea rs in the convent s c h o o l
and is out of touch wi th the r ea l i t i e s of
l i f e . T ime and time aga in she d e c l a r e s
her be l ie f in love as the true gu id ing
p r i n c i p l e ; she f a i l s to r e a l i s e that the
type of love preached in the convent i s
too f ra i l a concept to s tand up to the
pass iona te love of her husband , A n t i p a .
Once P a v l a and her mother are
i n s t a l l e d in the Z y k o v house h o l d , she
f inds that the only person she i s not
a f ra id of i s her e r s twh i l e f i a n c e . A
strange change comes over the cha rac t e r s ;
A n t i p a paces about not ca r ing for h i s
b u s i n e s s ; the sour head keeper , s h o k h i n ,
d e c i d e s to leave because of P a v l a ' s
fear of h i m . The a b i l i t y of a p a s s i v e
charac te r l i ke P a v l a to a l te r the s ta tus
quo in a group of much s t ronger cha rac te rs
is but one of the threads woven together
by Go rky .
A sp lend id per formance, as M i k h a i l ,
comes from M ike G w i l y m ; the eternal
f loa ter , d r ink ing too much and wa i t i ng
for someth ing or someone to turn up.
M i a Far row p lays P a v l a wi th a w ide
eyed i nnocence ; w h i l s t Gary Bond appears
as the cor rect German, propos ing
marr iage to A n t i p a ' s s i s t e r more ref ined
than her brother on the grounds that
together they might restore R u s s i a n
s e l f - c o n f i d e n c e .
If I do not seem who le -hear ted ly to
support th i s product ion it i s because I
am not a great fan of R u s s i a n p l a y s .
There i s here as e l sewhe re an over-
bundance of ta lk ; as Tarakanov s a y s at
the opening of A c t II; " Y o u c a n ' t do
wi thout ph i l osophy , s i n c e every th ing
nas i ts h idden meaning wh i ch we must
k n o w " .
Nex t Saturday, May 15, w i l l be your
las t c h a n c e , for the present , to s e e two
new p lays by Tom Stoppard at the A lmos t
F r e e Thea t re . A s i ts name sugges ts the
p r i ces charged at the A l m o s t f ree are
rock-bot tom; in fact you c a n choose the
sum (50p is about average) , to su i t your
pocke t , but you a l s o have to jo in the
A m b i a n c e Lunch Hour Theat re C l u b ;
th i s c a n be done at the door .
T h e two p l a y s are D i r ty L i v e n and
N e w - F o u n d - l a n d and both con ta in a l l
the Stoppard T r i c k s of doub le entendre
pun, Ma lap rop ism and obscure l i terary
re fe rences . The cas t is headed by a
number of w e l l known names current ly
appear ing on the West E n d s tage . T h e
performance star ts at 1.15 and runs about
an hour but you are w e l l a d v i s e d to get
there ear ly as a queue soon bu i l ds up .
Ce r t a i n l y th i s *s someth ing that shouldn' t
be m i s s e d , e s p e c i a l l y if you are a l ready
a conf i rmed Stoppard add ic t and c a n
d i s p e n s e wi th lunch for one day .
Thomas Stevenson
Music Head's heart not in mouth
Murray Head - Say It A i n ' t So (Island I L P S 9347)
Af te r such an i m p r e s s i v e debut s i n g l e
I was rather l ook ing forward to an
e q u a l l y ta lented L P . Not s o ; in fact the
bulk of H e a d ' s ef for ts earn h im zero for
s tar qua l i t y and three (out of ten) for
ef for t . (even by B l a c k Sabbath s tandards) .
My name i sn ' t Tony Ha tch e i the r1
O u t s i d e the t i t l e t rack Boat's Away
& Don't Forget To Let Him Know are
the only t racks to s tand out . The other
seven bare ly deserve more than the words
drab, ord inary & i n s u b s t a n t i a l . E i t h e r
producer P a u l Sam we 11-Smith & Head
don' t make mus ic together or Head
is rather low on ta len t . Judg ing trom the
f ra i l v o c a l s I s u s p e c t the lat ter . E i t h e r
way , nei ther producer or ar t is t has made
fu l l use of the expe r i enced s e s s i o n m u s i c i a n s on the a lbum.
A medlee of three a c o u s t i c gu i ta rs ,
tas te fu l s t r ing arrangement, e x t e n s i v e
background s i nge r s and overdubs
dominates the L P ' s best t rack Say It
Ain't So. A beaut i fu l s t y l i s h examp le of
a l l t ha t ' s good in modern m u s i c . B o b
Weston (acous t i c & s l i d e gu i tars) ho lds
the t rack together, a s he does on the
L P ' s other g o o d i e s . Boat's Away i s a
cu te undramat ic c r i b of Ca t S t e v e n s '
Longer Boats, but once you accep t that
i t ' s qu i te p leasan t . L i k e w i s e Don't
Forget Him Now, a d e l i c a t e d i t ty
enhanced by S u e L y n c h ' s v o c a l s and some
g i f ted p iano p lay ing from Murray H e a d . Both g i ve the v i t a l i t y m i s s i n g on the other t r a c k s .
T h e a l b u m ' s worst c u t s are You're
So Tasty, an unromant ic sou l cover
version of We Do It and a mediocre
attempt at Someones Rocking My
Dreamboat. George Me My c o u l d do it
much better.
T o c o n c l u d e , if y o u ' v e bought the
s i n g l e don ' t bother buying the L P .
Murray Head h a s , I fear , yet to d i s c o v e r
what he does bes t . H e might w e l l have
been f lus te red by h i s f i rs t venture to a
record ing s tud io , but tha t ' s no e x c u s e
fo r . f s land to r e l e a s e Insuncere t rash .
8 M U X
M A R K C A L D W E L L previews a new
World War 1 epic drama " A C E S H I G H "
which has its world premiere on May 17th
Good take-off,
faultless landing Quote from p u b l i c i t y handout — "Aces
High is a story about love and comrad-
ship, loneliness and death. It if about
action and adventure, and the bravery of
man."
D o you groan inward ly? N e v e r m ind .
T h i s f i lm i s recommended. A q u a l i f i e d
recommendat ion though. If you regard the
F i r s t World War as an h i s t o r i c a l n ice ty
wh ich i n f l i c t ed t imely punishment upon
greedy c a p i t a l i s t na t i ons , are bored by
aerop lanes and look upon ac ts of he ro ism
mere ly as man i fes ta t ions of m i s g u i d e d
j i n g o i s t i c fervour , then may be th is
f i lm is not for y o u .
F r a n c e , 1917. The f i lm fo l l ows the
t r i a l s and adventures of a newly ar r ived
o f f i ce r Cro f t , s ta t ioned at a front l i ne
squadron of the R o y a l F l y i n g C o r p s .
A c c o u n t s of l i fe on the Western F ron t
are w e l l known and the f i lm bares many
of the ha l lmarks of the exper iences of
newly commiss ioned o f f i ce rs d e s c r i b e d
e l s e w h e r e . F o r i n s t a n c e , the c o l d
recept ion at the mess on f i rs t a r r i v ing —
"Hullo I'm Croft"
"Are you"
"You're not flying today"
"So it would appear".
A l s o , f ra te rn iz ing w i th the men and
eat ing the i r bread and c h e e s e , f o l l ow ing
the death of a fe l l ow o f f i ce r dur ing a
m i s s i o n and the subsequent rebuke for
a v o i d i n g h i s fe l l ow o f f i c e r s . Pe te r F i r t h
of " E q u u s " fame p l a y s the part wi th
s k i l l . Dur ing a v i s i t to a n igh tc lub in
R o u e n , he c o n v e y s C r o f t ' s sense of
embarrassment and i s o l a t i o n so c o n
v i n c i n g l y that at t imes one a lmost shares
h i s unease .
' A C E S H I G H ' Directed by J a c k
G o l d : Starring Malcolm M c D o w e l l ,
Christopher Plummer. Simon Ward,
Peter Firth'. Screenplay by Howard
Barker, inspired by R C Sherri f f 's
play " J o u r n e y ' s F n d " ' .
Major Gresham (Ma lco lm M c D o w e l l )
commands the squadron w i th expec ted
B r i t i s h sang-froid. N o n e t h e l e s s , he
never takes off sober and in a rare
moment revea ls h i s sense of utter terror
to a fe l l ow o f f i ce r C raw fo rd .
T h i s i s the f i r s t t ime M a l c o l m
M c D o w e l l has been able to use h i s
cons ide rab l e ta len ts i n a se r ious adul t
r o l e . He hand les the two s ides o f
G r e s h a m ' s charac te r ad ro i t l y . C rawfo rd ,
turned l i t t e ra l y c r a z y wi th fear so' ,hat
he re fuses to f l y , is p l aye d by Simon
Ward. However , there i s on ly one
d i s p l a y e d outburst of madness and
merc i fu l l y i t i s performed w i th res t ra in t .
Ch r i s tophe r P lummer (the " S o u n d of
M u s i c " man) p l a y s a veteran a f fec t i on
a te ly known as ' U n c l e ' . T h i s sort of
p a t e r n a l i s t i c charac ter cou ld e a s i l y
have become embalmed wi th s i c k l y
sent iment . T h a n k f u l l y th is doesn ' t
happen and the pa te rna l i sm i s c o n t r o l l e d .
J a c k G o l d keeps h i s c a s t on a t ight
re in . No tab le guest appearances are
made by Si r John G i e l g u d , T revo r
Howard , R i c h a r d Johnson and Ray
M i l l a n d . T h e cas t a l s o i n c l u d e s one of
Ma lco lm M c D o w e l l ' s f e l l ow rebe ls from
'If.. ', D a v i d Wood.
Indeed my on ly c r i t i c i s m of the f i lm
is the preponderance of exuberant
Malcolm McDowell
p u b l i c s c h o o l bonhommie w h i c h permeates
some of the f i l m ' s l ighter moments
a lmost to the point of n a u s e a . However ,
remember ing that th is is a per iod f i lm , it
cou ld be argued that an accurate
por t raya l demands that the ac t ing should
be f lavoured w i th the Zeitgeist o f the
era in q u e s t i o n .
I near ly f o r g o t to ment ion the
ae rop lanes . P o s s i b l y because al though
there are t e c h n i c a l l y b r i l l i an t and
s p e c t a c u l a r in f l igh t , once on the
ground, they remain throught the f i lm , as
they shou ld be , w e l l proport ioned props.
Watergat " A l l T h e Pres iden t ' s M e n " (Warner
Bros , A ) directed by A l a n Paku la ;
starring Robert Redford and Dust in
Hoffman.
" T H I S IS N O T a f i lm about N i x o n " s a y s
Robert Redford whose b ra i nch i l d the
J i l m was and who was one of the prime
a r c h i t e c t s of the f i lm . He and Dus t i n
Hoffman p lay the parts of the two
Washington P o s t repor ters , B o b Woodward
and C a r l Be rns te i n r e s p e c t i v e l y , a s s i g n e d
to cover the Watergate bu i l d ing break i n .
When powerhouse a t torneys show up
at the hear ing to determine whether ba i l
w i l l be granted, Woodward i s c u r i o u s .
H i s cu r i os i t y is further a roused when one
of the burg lars admi ts to be ing an e x -
C I A man.
T h i s is when the tek to the P r e s i d e n t ' s
o f f i ce rea l l y beg ins . . No one rea l l y
b e l i e v e s any more, at the P o s t at leas t ,
that the break in was the work of c razy
C u b a n s . Woodward and Be rns te i n f o l l ow
>how it was up c o u n t l e s s leads in thei r i nves t i ga t i ons
wh i ch have a habi t of r evea l i ng fac ts
that an F B I i nves t i ga t i on cove r i ng 1500
people do not.
A s in a l l good de tec t i ve f i lms there
has to be an " in fo rmant ". In th is c a s e
it i s Deep Throat p layed by Ha l Ho lb rock .
Deep Throat was Woodward 's contac t
who had a c c e s s to informat ion at the
White H o u s e . In newspaper , pa r lance ,
Deep Throat , was used only for " d e e p
b a c k g r o u n d " . He was used by Woodward
to ver i fy or not informat ion gathered in
the i r i n v e s t i g a t i o n s .
There has been recent ly a great dea l
of specu la t i on about Deep- Throat and
whether he e x i s t s . A l l I can say i s that
the f i lm Ha l Ho lb rook makes the character
b e l i e v a b l e wi th a very c o n v i n c i n g
performance. A l s o , Woodward, in an
in terv iew wi th T ime magaz ine last week ,
s ta ted that Deep Throat d i d e x i s t and
wou ld reveal h imse l f one day .
The f i lm is w e l l ac ted throughout wi th
exposed Redford and Hoffman convey ing the
extreme s e n s e of fear felt by the
reporters dur ing thei r i nves t i ga t i ons and
a l s o their o b s e s s i o n wi th the story once
they had begun. Gues t appearances by
Mar t in B a l s a m as the c i t y ed i tor and
J a s o n Robarbs as Ben Brad lee as the
P o s t ' s execu t i ve ed i to r provide a so l i d
back up. Jane A l e x a n d e r g i v e s a very
good performance as the Bookeeper .
T e c h n i c a l l y th i s f i lm is e x c e l l e n t .
450,00 do l l a r s was spent on bu i ld ing an
exac t 32,000 square foot dup l i ca te of the
P o s t ' s newsroom. In fact , so much care
has been paid to de ta i l that no car in
the f i lm is later t h a n , a 1973 mode l , the
rubb ish in the newsroom is real rubbish
c o l l e c t e d from the P o s t ' s newsroom over
seve ra l w e e k s . They even hired Frank
W i l l s , the Watergate secur i t y guard who
d i s c o v e r e d the robbery and sounded the
a la rm , to play h im s e l f .
Paul Ekpenyong
M U X 9
B . i k e . C l u b .
Bike Club goes round in circles
Cr i cke t
May Day
at M WITH A N I M P R E S S I V E start
to the s e a s o n , Imperial C o l l e g e
1st XI beat Magda len C o l l e g e ,
Oxford by over 200 runs last
Saturday. E x c e e d i n g an a i r of
con f i dence I C ' s open ing ba ts
men put on 100 runs for the f i rs t
w i c k e t before T r i n i d a d i a n
Tony P a u l was caught at
cove r for a powerful 50 runs
wh i ch inc luded n ine boundar ies .
H i s partner and C a p t a i n Tom
Ghosh scored 36 w h i l s t bur ly
Massacre agdalen
However the w i c k e t s were
taken by the two D a v e ' s ,
Bramley (3 for 5) and M i l l a r d
(5 for 19) . The Magda len
C o l l e g e bat t ing c o l l a p s e d
w i t h l i t t le r e s i s t a n c e and
they were d i s m i s s e d for 38
runs g i v i n g Imperial C o l l e g e
v i c to ry by 204 runs . The fact
that the oppos i t i on cou ld have
been a l i t t l e under the weather
a f ter thei r s i l l y May Day
c e l e b r a t i o n s cou ld not
John Eng land sco red a
b r isk 43 after two h e l p i n g s of
t r i f le at lunch as w e l l .
Severa l other use fu l i nn ings
brought the s c o r e past the
two hundred mark and at
3.35pm the sk ippe r dec la red
at 242 for e igh t .
A f te r the change-over
Magda len C o l l e g e were
a s s a u l t e d by the " T o t t e n h a m
T e r r o r " Chandra Ku lharn i who
shook thei r composure .
Berkley beaten
T H E I M P E R I A L C O L L E G E
Sunday XI f o l l owed the
example of the 1st teams
Saturday performance w i th a
more modest 100 runs v ic to ry
over B e r k e l e y A t h l e t i c at
Ha r l i ng ton . C a p t a i n Max T a y l o r
won the t o s s and e l e c t e d to
bat; a very d i p l oma t i c d e c i s i o n
c o n s i d e r i n g that hal f h i s
team were late in a r r i v i n g . He
then opened the bat t ing w i th
Ar thur Mu lho l l and and th is
pair put on over 130 runs
before Mu lho l l and was out
for 54. T a y l o r ca r r i ed on h i s
bucol ic work and was even tua l ly
out just before lunch for a
c red i t ab le 8 2 .
The run rate of about 100
an hour was main ta ined after
the in terva l by Jeh B a s h a r
who scored 51 before the
sk ippe r dec la red at three
o ' c l o c k w i th 244 for 3 on the
sco reboa rd . T h i s generous
dec la ra t i on gave Be rke ley ample
t ime to score the runs but they
were unable to meet the
c h a l l e n g e . Four w i c k e t s from
Geof Thompson showed that
the A t h l e t i c were not ab le
to reply to th is total and the
resu l t of the game was no
longer in doubt. T h i s resu l t
meant that two IC s i d e s had
sco red near ly 500 runs in
just two ma tches !
e x p l a i n thei r poor per formance.
It was a resound ing v ic to ry
and a conf ident star t to the
s e a s o n wh ich must be
c o n s o l i d a t e d at Cambr idge
tomorrow.
Team:- A Gosh; J Thornback;
R Young; A Paul; R Pashley;
J England; D Millard; C
Kulharni; D Bramley; A
Hall.
Scorer: Mary Young (many thanks
IC 2nd XI v Luton C o l l e g e
Scores:- IC 146 Luton 112
T H I S E X T R E M E L Y c l o s e
game was dec ided wi th l ess
than two overs to go. IC
batted f i rs t and were q u i c k l y
in t rouble at 26 for 2 . However
good par tnersh ips between
C a u s e y and Sparke and then
T r e w h e l l a and Hagger pushed
a long the s c o r e to 101 for
6 at t e a . A f t e r l ight refreshment
(non -a l coho l i c ) , IC i nc reased
thei r sco r i ng rate and desp i te
l os ing w i c k e t s , reached the
respec tab le total of 146.
Lu ton s tar ted very c o n
f i den t l y and b r i s k l y put on
46 runs for thei r f i rs t w i cke t
in only ten o v e r s . A c c u r a t e
bow l ing accompan ied by
t ight f i e l d i n g s l o w e d thei r
s c o r i n g rate but at 91 for
for three the odds were very
much in the i r favour . Some
e x c e l l e n t bow l ing by Gowle t t
and Sparke c a u s e d a sudden
c o l l a p s e in w h i c h Luton lost
s i x w i c k e t s for on ly 16 runs.
So with* on ly 5 overs left IC
needed to take one more
w i c k e t for v i c t o r y . T h i s was
ach ieved w i th only e ight ba l l s
to spare when Gowle t t had
thei r last batsman s tumped.
In a l l it was a remarkable
team effort for a s i de p lay ing
in i t ' s f i rs t match of the
s e a s o n . Unfor tunate ly the
after match c e l e b r a t i o n s were
spo i l t by the c o a c h f a i l i n g to
turn up.
A F T E R A s e r i e s of mechan ica l
t roubles wi th the rac ing
H o n d a , the B i k e C l u b has
f inal ly been r a c i n g . Our int repid
he roes , Mart in B l e a s d a l e and
N i c k J a m e s , went to the
V e l o Owners C l u b race meet ing
at C a d w e l l Pa rk , L i n c o l n s h i r e ,
on A p r i l 3 rd , and raced thei r
road b i kes aga ins t such r iders
as Tom Pemberton and Dave
E a s t . Mart in was on h i s
K a w a s a k i 400 S3 and N i c k
was on a 500cc V e l o c e t t e
Venom wh ich had been
s l i g h t l y breathed upon by a
rac ing f r iend , B i l l M e l v i l l e .
The p rac t i ce s e s s i o n before
the races was the f i rs t t ime
N i c k had been on a t rack, but
when he f i n i shed prac t i ce ten
minutes later , the gr in jo ined
up at the back of h i s neck !
T h e pair had each entered
in two Vi hour h igh speed
t r i a l s and in an 8 lap race ,
N i c k compet ing in an add i t i ona l
8 lap race .
Much to the amazement of
a l l conce rned , nei ther fe l l off
and both ac tua l l y managed to
g i ve a good accoun t of them
s e l v e s . A s luck wou ld have it,
the V e l o near ly lost i ts
Manx The annual Is le of Man
E a s t e r A t h l e t i c F e s t i v a l ,
he ld over E a s t e r week -end ,
w a s the foca l point of the
s e a s o n ' s a c t i v i t i e s for the
c ross -coun t ry c l u b , h i ther to
known as Hyde Park S t reakers .
T h e mu l t i - face ted gather ing
of a l l - s t a r s i nc luded such
we l l - known f a c e s as Speedy
Steve Webb, B S c , Gary G l i t t e r
and A l v i n Stardus t , C Hunder,
and last Smooth 'N E a s y
D o n n e l l y . Wtih such a parade
of ta lent , how cou ld we
f a i l ?
The answer to th i s fatefu l
ques t ion was q u i c k l y provided
by the f i rs t race , the Good
F r i d a y 4 m i le road race .
C o m p r i s i n g a s teep downh i l l
s e c t i o n for much of the f i rs t
m i l e , and a co r respond ing
uph i l l sec t i on for the last
m i l e , the cou rse was obv ious l y
des igned to c r i p p l e anyone
who was not 100% f i t . T h i s
d id not prevent 166 runners
f i n i s h i n g ; for the S t reake rs ,
our two age ing pop s t a r s ,
Gary and A l v i n , had thei r
own persona l bat t le wh i ch
w a s won narrowly by A l v i n
(24th in 21:24) . Speedy S teve ,
recoup ing the benef i t s of
a c t u a l l y knowing the cou rse ,
ran a personal best of 22 :06 ,
and these three va l i an t m idd le
men enab led the f i rs t team to
s i l e n c e r af ter the f i rs t h igh
speed t r i a l , s o N i c k had to
w i thdraw from the next event ,
wh i ch c a u s e d him to m i s s the
the s p e c t a c l e of Mar t i n ' s
K a w a s a k i " w h e e l i e " away
from the start and lead the
race for 200 y a r d s ! La te r
on , in the second high speed
t r i a l , N i c k was about to over
take Mar t in when the latter
had a spark p lug b low out of
h i s eng ine wh i ch c a u s e d him
to pu l l off the t rack . Ove ra l l
the f i n i s h p o s i t i o n s were : -
1st H igh Speed T r i a l - N i c k
12th, Mart in 15th of 16.
1st 8 L a p R a c e - Mart in 14th
of 18.
2nd H igh Speed T r i a l - N i c k
9 th , Mart in 12th of 15.
2nd 8 L a p R a c e - N i c k 10th
of 14.
Mar t i n ' s fas tes t lap was 1min
3 2 s e c s (58.7mph).
N i c k ' s fas tes t lap was 1min
2 7 s e c s (62.1mph).
F o r compa r i son , Dave
E a s t on h i s V e l o got round in
about i m i n 20sec and Tom
Pemberton on h i s 500 K a w a s a k i
in about 1min 1 4 s e c s .
O v e r a l l , a most en joyab le d a
V - n S L Wilks
Pranx f i n i s h in a very respec tab le
e ighth p o s i t i o n .
M eanwh i l e , a l i t t l e further
down the f i e l d , seve ra l
S t reakers were s t rugg l ing to
h ide thei r obv ious lack of
f i t ness accumu la ted over
the h o l i d a y s . H a c k e r E l l i s
(23:33) w a s , for once , reduced
to the lowly ranks of the
second team, though th is
team d id feature good runs by
C Hunter (24:38) and Mr
Johnson (25:13). B o y o Davey
(26:02) led home the th i rd
team, w i th sturdy support from
the back , in the form of
Ter ror Ta rnowsk i and Smooth '
N E a s y .
Next day was the 4 x 3 mi le
re l ay , the s t r eake r ' s resu l t s
be ing :
1st team 10th
S L l t t l e w o o d 16 51 S Webb 16 47
A Stardust 16 17
G G l i t t e r 16 24
2nd team 33rd
H E l l i s 17 32 C Hunter 19 32
D J o n e s 18 15 Mr Johnson 19 05
73 58 3rd team 40th
B Davey 19 05
T T a r nowsk i 21 16 E Donne l l y 23 12
B We I ford 19 47 84 25
Continued on page 10
C r o s s .Country
11 M U X
Orienteer ing
Rosen shines F O R T H E second t ime in
three months S t i r l i ng U n i v e r s i t y
was the cent re for a B r i t i s h
U n i v e r s i t i e s Sports Fede ra t i on
( B U S F ) c h a m p i o n s h i p s . C r o s s
country in February , and last
weekend for O r i e n t e e r i n g .
Members of the C o l l e g e c l u b
jo ined other or ien teers from
the U n i v e r s i t y of London to
form a combined team.
The Champ ionsh ips c o n s i s t e d
of an ind iv idua l event on
Saturday near K i l l in on the
banks of L o c h Tay and a
relay team event on Sunday at
The F o r e s t near A l l o a .
The ind iv idua l cou rse was
main ly sparse forest or open
f e l l s i d e , and the mens 8.0km
' A ' cou rse inc luded 370
metres of c l i m b i n g . Howeve r ,
spare t ime IC c ross -coun t r y
runner and in ternat iona l
or ienteer D a v i d R o s e n ,
proved he had the s tamina
for th i s type of cou rse by
w inn ing the ind iv idua l
champ ionsh ips in 53 mins
16 s e c , a c l e a r margin of
2V2 mins from Pete N i c h o l s of
Loughborough. Nex t for
London was A l i s t a i r D o y l e ;
69.53m ins and R i c h a r d
Gardner ; 70 .00mins . T h e s e
were fo l l owed home by C
R e i d , R A l l i n s o n and S Webb.
On the mens ' ' B ' cou rse
(5.4km) f i rs t U L runner home
was lan M c A n u l t y , 30th in
69.09 fo l l owed by T Murphy
and L F a w c e t t . M Welford
mispunched 2 con t ro l s thus
s p o i l i n g an o therw ise respec t ,
ab le t ime.
On the womens ' B ' cou rse
our on ly lady compet i to r ,
D iane Benge , had a good run
to f i n i sh 6th in a time of 76 .18 .
Not content w i th h i s
s u c c e s s of the af ternoon,
D a v i d R o s e n was a l s o
amongst the p r i zes at the
C e i l i d h on Saturday e v e n i n g .
A b l y accompan ied by D iane
Benge they f u l f i l l e d a l l
q u a l i f i c a t i o n s in an e l im ina t i on
dance and then won the
wheelbarrow race between the
las t 3 c o u p l e s left on the
f loor . However , a l l was
forg iven when he promised to
share around the beer he won .
In cont ras t to Sa tu rday ' s
event , the cou rse on Sunday
was a heav i l y wooded s e c t i o n
of undu la t ing coun t r ys ide , one
s e c t i o n c o n s i s t i n g of a
comp l i ca ted network of
in te rsec t ing forest r ides
separated by dense under
growth.
The U L 1st team was g iven
a good start when A l i s t a i r
D o y l e comple ted the 1st leg
on ly Vi minute down on the
leaders in a time of 33 - 28 .
R i c h a r d Gardner then kept
the team r ight ' up wi th the
leaders on the second leg
handing over to D a v i d R o s e n
on ly 4 seconds down on the
leade rs . However , w i th our
b iggest r i v a l s on ly 100secs
down on us at th is s tage D a v i d
The winning ULU. Far left Dave Rosen.
cou ld not afford any c o s t l y
m i s t a k e s . He in fact i nc reased
our lead to 2V2 minutes thus
w inn ing two gold meda ls in
as many d a y s . F i n a l p l a c i n g s :
1. London 102.51
2. Oxford 104.26
3 . Aberys twy th 112.57
The London 2nd team were
not so s u c c e s s f u l and many
e x c u s e s were put forward
a f te rwards . The team of C
R e i d , R A l l i n s o n and S Webb
comple ted the cou rse in a t ime
of 197.00; a mere 95 mins
behind London 1st team.
Our lady compet i to r ,
D i a n e , jo ined up wi th L i v e r
pool U n i v e r s i t y for the re lay
race and ran 2nd leg tak ing
over in 3rd p lace from the
B U S F ind iv idua l l ad ies
champion Sue Barker . D iane
had yet another good run
keep ing the L i ve rpoo l team
in 3rd pos i t i on , but unfor tunate ly
the last leg runner was unable
to match t h i s . Rob Allinson in action
l
L l
T H U R S D A Y
13th MAY
t
N
Continued from page 9
MANX PRANX
Spark l i ng runs by A l v i n
and Gary ra i sed the f i rs t team
from 22nd to 10th. The second
team performed c o n s i s t e n t l y ,
though even B a b y f a c e cou ld
not save the honour of the
third team after two very
s teady runs by Terror and
Smooth 'N E a s y had left him
4 m i n s beh ind the next man .
E a s t e r Sunday morn ing ,
and the fe l l race up Greba
mounta in . No amount of fore
warn ing can p o s s i b l y he lp
those being in i t i a ted into the
sport of f e l l - r u n n i n g / w a l k i n g .
They must bat t le it out them
s e l v e s , f ight the good f ight -
and g i ve in q u i c k l y . But to
those p rac t i ced in the art ,
there may be w a y s of
t a c k l i n g th is m a s o c h i s t i c
en te rp r i se (and succeed ing )
C Hunter , on th is fatefu l day
in A p r i l , thought he had found
a way . Set t ing off l i ke a
bul le t out of a gun , he led the
race for much of the f i rs t
quarter m i l e . Hop ing that h i s
momentum would carry him
up the fe l l w i th the lead ing
runners, "he va l i an t l y swept
uph i l l at a rate of knots — but
no, back he dropped, to
s t rugg le at the back a long
wi th the rest of us who were
a l ready res igned to w a l k i n g .
N e v e r t h e l e s s , s e v e r a l
St reakers d id w in the i r
personal ba t t les wi th the
f e l l , notably Speedy Steve in
29 :13 , a minute ahead of
Gary and H a c k e r . Strapped up
l i ke an E g y p t i a n mummy,
Granny bat t led resource fu l l y
aga ins t Mr J o h n s o n , who f lew
down the fe l l in 33 :05 . B a b y -
f a c e , benef i t ing from a week
in Sco t l and , ran c red i t ab l y
for 36 :26 , f i n a l l y ' beat ing
B o y o . A l a s , at the back , the
decrep i t pop s tar , A l v i n
Stardust , con f ined to premature
ret i rement, and Smooth 'N E a s y ,
in an uno f f i c ia l t ime of 52
m ins , were beaten by the
mounta in . W e l l , there i s a l w a y s
next year .
That same even ing were
the boat r a c e s . Not a c r o s s the
Ir ish S e a , but teams of 4
supp ing a l e ext remely fas t .
The f i rs t team won their
f i rs t round heat , but were
narrowly beaten in the second
round ow ing to a c o c k - u p
in the draw by the o r g a n i s e r s .
The second team d r a n k s t e a d i l y
someone shou ld have to ld
them it was a r a c e . A f te r
c l o s i n g time at ten pm, a l l
indulged in a mass s i n g - s o n g ,
however , owing to the O f f i c a l
Secre ts A c t , the remainder of
the even ing ' s a c t i v i t i e s
remain s u b - j u d i c e .
F i n a l l y , we would l i ke to
thank A C C for prov id ing the
tour grant to of fset the c o s t s
of the weekend ; and a l s o
Manx A C , who organ ised the
whole weekend . The C r o s s
coun t ry C l u b is now s ign ing
off for th is s e a s o n , but
rumour has it that they are
to be re- incarnated as an
A d - H o c A t h l e t i c s C l u b .
by Banyface Welford