How to Tame the Elephant in the Room- 6 steps to build trust and close deals!

HOW TO TAME

THE ELEPHANTIN THE ROOM!

6 STEPS TO BUILDING TRUST AND CLOSING

DEALS

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TRIAL LAWYER COMMUNICATION TIPS FOR EVERYONE!

I’LL BE PICKING A JURY A WEEK FROM MONDAY IN A DIFFICULT AND TRAGIC WRONGFUL DEATH CASE.

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VOIR DIRE OR JURY SELECTION IS THE OPPORTUNITY FOR ME TO LEARN MORE ABOUT MY JURY…

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AND MY JURY GETS TO LEARN MORE ABOUT ME.

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IT’S ALSO THE TIME TO DEAL WITH BIG ISSUES THAT EVERYBODY KNOWS ABOUT BUT NOBODY WANTS TO TALK ABOUT.

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THE ELEPHANTIN THE ROOM.

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IN THIS SLIDESHARE I AM GOING TO SHOW YOU HOW TO DEAL WITH AND EVEN TAME THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.

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IT’S IMPORTANT THAT YOU IMMEDIATELY DEAL WITH ELEPHANTS BECAUSE IN TODAY’S NOISY WORLD, GETTING AND KEEPING SOMEONE’S ATTENTION AND EARNING THEIR TRUST CAN BE A CHALLENGE.

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THERE’S PROBABLY NO MORE DIFFICULT OF A PLACE TO GAIN TRUST THAN IN A COURTROOM WITH 12 JURORS WHO, PRIOR TO TRIAL, YOU’VE NEVER MET.

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SO, I CAN COMFORTABLY REPORT THAT IF THESE 6 STEPS WORK FOR ME IN COURT, THEY’LL ALSO WORK FOR YOU DURING YOUR NEXT PRESENTATION.

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MANY YEARS AGO I LEARNED 6 STEPS TO SELECTING A JURY AND DEALING WITH ELEPHANTS FROM LEGENDARY TRIAL LAWYER, GERRY SPENCE.

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YOU CAN USE THESE SAME 6 STEPS TO MAKE A PRESENTATION OR CLOSE YOUR NEXT DEAL.

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BUT BEFORE WE GET STARTED, I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND AND APPRECIATE THIS IMPORTANT POINT…

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YOU NEED TO BE IN THE MOMENT WHEN GOING THROUGH THESE STEPS.

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RATHER THAN WORRYING ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT (MY VERDICT OR YOUR CUSTOMER’S DECISION), EMBRACE THIS PARTICULAR MOMENT IN AN HONEST AND TRANSPARENT WAY.

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GENUINELY LISTEN AND INTERACT WITH THE OTHER PERSON OR AUDIENCE DURING EACH OF THESE 6 STEPS. BE REAL!

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IT’S NOT ALWAYS EASY TO DISCUSS THE ELEPHANT BUT IT IS ALWAYS NECESSARY.

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STEP #1: FIGURE OUT WHAT THE CHALLENGING ISSUES ARE. WHAT EXACTLY IS THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM?

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IN ONE OF MY CASES THE WHITE ELEPHANT MIGHT BE THE ISSUE OF TORT REFORM OR A JURY’S RELUCTANCE TO AWARD LARGE MONEY DAMAGES.

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IT COULD BE THE RACE OR SOCIAL BACKGROUND OF MY CLIENT. EVERYBODY IN THE COURTROOM KNOWS WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS THINKING BUT NOBODY IS TALKING ABOUT IT.

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IN THE COMPUTER SOFTWARE BUSINESS, THE ELEPHANT MIGHT BE THE HIGH INITIAL EXPENSE TO THE CUSTOMER OR ADDITIONAL INFRASTRUCTURE UPGRADES AND TRAINING.

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UNDERSTAND THIS REALITY AND FIGURE OUT WHAT THE ELEPHANT IS AND YOU’RE ONE STEP AHEAD OF EVERYONE ELSE.

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STEP #2: GIVE THOUGHT AND REFLECTION TO THE ELEPHANT. FIGURE OUT HOW IT MAKES YOU FEEL AND WHY.

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IN MY TRIALS, I TRY AND FIGURE OUT WHAT ISSUE(S) WILL BE CONTROVERSIAL OR MAY HURT US AND I MAKE AN EFFORT TO GRASP EXACTLY HOW THAT MAKES ME FEEL.

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BY GOING THROUGH THIS PROCESS I’M ABLE TO SOMEWHAT APPRECIATE HOW MY JURORS MIGHT FEEL ABOUT THE ELEPHANT.

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IN A SALES SITUATION, A HIGH INITIAL PURCHASE PRICE MIGHT MAKE A CUSTOMER THINK TWICE BEFORE BUYING YOUR PRODUCT.

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GIVE SOME THOUGHT AS TO WHY HE MIGHT FEEL THAT WAY. IS IT TRULY A MONEY THING OR IS IT REALLY A “DON’T ROCK THE BOAT” WITH COMPANY POLICY KIND OF THING?

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DEEP INSIDE YOUR CORE, EXPLORE AND INTERNALIZE THE ISSUES BEHIND YOUR CUSTOMER’S HOW AND WHY.

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EXPLORE YOUR FEELINGS. OPEN YOUR MIND AND HEART TO UNDERSTAND.

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STEP #3: OPEN UP A BAG OF PEANUTS AND COAX THE ELEPHANT OUT INTO THE OPEN.

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WHEN SELECTING MY JURY, I’M VERY OPEN ABOUT HOW AND WHY I FEEL THE WAY I DO ABOUT CERTAIN ISSUES. SOMETIMES I’M A BIT EMBARRASSED FOR DOING SO BUT, BY BEING TRANSPARENT, I’M BEING REAL.

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BY BEING GENUINE I’M SHOWING MY JURY THAT’S IT’S OK TO BE HONEST AND OPEN AND TO SHARE OUR THOUGHTS, CONCERNS AND EVEN FEARS WITH EACH OTHER.

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IT’S ABOUT LEADING BY EXAMPLE AND STARTING A REAL AND HONEST DIALOG. IT BEGINS THE TRUST PROCESS.

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I’M JUST HAVING AN HONEST DISCUSSION WITH MY JURY. I WANT THEM TO EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS ON THE SUBJECT. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT (WHICH IS MUCH DIFFERENT THAN LECTURING SOMEONE ABOUT HOW THEY SHOULD FEEL ABOUT SOMETHING).

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YOU SHOULD USE THE SAME APPROACH WITH YOUR CUSTOMER.

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STEP #4: ASK THE OTHER PERSON TO PULL OUT A PEANUT AND FEED THE ELEPHANT.

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I MIGHT ASK MY JURORS, “AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO FEELS THIS WAY?” I PUT MYSELF OUT THERE.

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SOMETIMES IT TAKES A WHILE BUT EVENTUALLY A JUROR WILL RAISE HER HAND AND WE’LL START TALKING ABOUT THE ISSUE OR WHAT WE’RE BOTH AFRAID OF.

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SHE MAY NOT USE THE WORDS, “I’M AFRAID” BUT THE FACT IS, WE’RE NOW FEEDING PEANUTS TO THE ELEPHANT AND TALKING ABOUT IT.

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THE PROCESS IS REAL, RAW AND GENUINE. IT’S SOMETHING MANY PEOPLE ARE NOT USE TO DOING.

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IN SALES, YOU CAN DO THE SAME THING. INVITE THE OTHER PERSON OR AUDIENCE TO INTERACT WITH YOU ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS.

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“SPENDING THIS MUCH MONEY ON OUR SOFTWARE HAS GOT TO BE A BIT NERVE RACKING. INITIALLY, I’M NOT SURE I’D BE COMFORTABLE DOING THIS. IS THIS HOW YOU FEEL?”

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ONCE YOU GET PEOPLE TO START TALKING OPENLY AND HONESTLY, MAGIC HAPPENS.

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AFTER ALL, KNOWING EACH OTHERS “TRUTH” IS KEY TO BUILDING RESPECT, RAPPORT AND TRUST.

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STEP #5: ACCEPT AND PLACE VALUE ON WHAT THE OTHER PERSON TELLS YOU ABOUT THE ELEPHANT.

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ONCE YOU OPEN YOURSELF UP TO THIS KIND OF CONVERSATION, YOU ARE GOING TO HEAR THINGS THAT WILL BOTHER AND EVEN HURT YOUR FEELINGS.

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THE ELEPHANT IS GOING TO STEP ON YOUR TOES. BUT THAT’S OK. THAT’S THE POINT. KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

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CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION AND BE REAL. HELP EACH OTHER FEED PEANUTS TO THE ELEPHANT.

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IN SALES, YOU NEED TO KNOW WHAT’S REALLY ON THE MIND OF YOUR PROSPECT BEFORE HE LEAVES AND MAKES HIS PURCHASE RECOMMENDATION.

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TALKING ABOUT THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM WILL HELP YOU MAXIMIZE YOUR CHANCES OF TRULY UNDERSTANDING ALL THE ISSUES AND ANSWERING ALL QUESTIONS.

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STEP #6: HOP ON THE BACK OF THE ELEPHANT AND CONTINUE SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS.

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NOW THAT YOU’VE GOT YOUR PROSPECT TALKING AND BEING HONEST WITH YOU, GO WITH THE FLOW. EMBRACE THE CONVERSATION AND BE ENGAGED.

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ASK OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS AND LISTEN MUCH MORE THAN YOU TALK. USE YOUR BODY LANGUAGE TO TELL YOUR PROSPECT THAT IT’S OK TO SAY AND FEEL THE WAY THEY DO.

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I’M NOT STANDING BEFORE MY POTENTIAL JURORS TRYING TO HIDE ANYTHING. IF I’M AFRAID OR CONCERNED ABOUT SOMETHING, I WANT THEM TO KNOW. IT’S A TRUST THING.

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JURORS WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU AND YOUR CLIENT IF THEY KNOW YOU ARE BEING STRAIGHT WITH THEM AND EMPOWER THEM TO HELP YOU. THEY’LL RESPECT YOU FOR NOT BULLSHITTING THEM.

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MOST PEOPLE WILL AVOID EMBRACING THE ELEPHANT AND FEEDING IT PEANUTS.

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BUT NOW YOU KNOW THAT’S THEIR PROBLEM AND NOT YOURS

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USING THESE 6 STEPS, YOU CAN DO WHAT OTHERS ARE AFRAID TO DO AND TAME THE ELEPHANT.

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YOU CAN MAKE THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM AN OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN ABOUT THE OTHER PERSON AND THEN, AND ONLY THEN…

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HOP UP ON ITS BACK AND CLOSE THE DEAL!

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TRIAL LAWYER COMMUNICATIONTIPS FOR EVERYONE!

PLEASE SHARE MY PRESENTATION IFYOU LIKED IT AND STOP BY MY BLOG

TO SAY HI. THANKS SO MUCH!

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How to Tame the Elephant in the Room- 6 steps to build trust and close deals!

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Transcript of How to Tame the Elephant in the Room- 6 steps to build trust and close deals!