How to Manage Your Unique Needs and Overcome Stress

7/31/2019 How to Manage Your Unique Needs and Overcome Stress

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Table of Contents

Introduction

Part 1 - Know Important Stress Factors

1.1 Neuroticism

1.2 Hardiness

Part 2: Know Important Traits

2.1 Highly Sensitive Person

2.2 Basic Stress Profiles

Part 3: Know Your Personality

3.1 MBTI

Resources


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Intro

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is.

The way you cope with it is what makes a difference."

Virginia Satir

If you're reading this book because you think that stress could be getting the

better of you and possibly making you mentally tired and physically sick then you

are in great company. As with the domino effect of the Great Recession is still felt

around the world, people are finding themselves in highly stressful events and

high daily stress brought on by higher demands from work and changing

economic conditions. According to the American Psychological Association, 76

percent of people find money as a the primary source of stress, then by work by a

70 percent, and then general anxiety about the economy at 65 percent. Despite


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the awareness of this stress, only about a third of people surveyed said they were

on top of managing their stress. And the majority of children living under parents

who endure very high pressures from stress say there is a negative influence on

their families. While it is normal and inevitable to expect to face many types of

stressful events through life such as from traumatic events to daily pressures.

However what is not given is how we choose to deal with these events. We canlessen the impact stress has in our lives and improve our health by understanding

root causes of stress, what is going on in our minds when stressed, and that we

cannot live optimally without stress.

Your experience and reactions to stress are strongly affected by your personality.

The word personality has many definition . The typical textbook definition is that

it is a kind of mental structure that helps determine how you view and interact

with the world. The personality influences how you interact with your

environment. Your personality influences the way you interact with people, they

way you feel and think on the world, beliefs on how things are and should be, the

way events are remembered, and they way you behave.


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The main purpose of this book is to help you understand your personality better

and how it may determine your perception and management of stress. The focus

will be on understanding your personality to better manage daily stress uniquely

catered to you. MBTI which is a well used personality inventory system will be

useful along an array of other well researched personality traits.


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Part 1Know Important

Stress Factors


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1.1Neuroticism

For the rational, psychologically healthy man, the desire for pleasure is the desire

to celebrate his control over reality. For the neurotic, the desire for pleasure is the

desire to escape from reality.

Nathaniel Branden

Some people appear to be generally more affected by stress than others.

Psychometric and experimental studies discovered stable personality traits thatrelate to the person's inclination to experience negative emotion. H. J. Eysenck

found a measurement of neuroticism connected with a low threshold for

emotional arousal. One well accepted view is that neuroticism is basically a trait

that measures how susceptible one is to negativity.


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Numerous studies support the conclusion that neuroticism is the most important

personality hardiness factor influencing adjustment to stress. Those high in

neuroticism may describe themselves as anxious, tense, and easily upset. They

are prone to worry, say they are feeling vulnerable and sensitive, and experience

negative emotional states such as anger, distress, and guilt at a frequently and

intensely even to everyday life. They respond more poorly to environmental

stress, and are more likely to believe ordinary evens as intimidating, and small

frustrations as impossibly difficult. They are often self-conscious and shy, and they

may have trouble controlling urges and delaying gratification.

Like other personality traits, neuroticism is naturally seen as a continuous

dimension, rather than a trait either someone has or not. People vary in their

level of neuroticism, with both small minority of individuals scoring extremely

high or extremely low on the dimension.

When these personality traits are joined with a developed tendency to see

negative aspects of life as a challenge, cheerful, and enthusiastic, take pleasure in

and value relationships, and to be assertive and hardworking towards ones

unique purpose, it becomes hardiness against stress.


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1.2Hardiness

Opposition is a natural part of life. Just as we develop ourphysical muscles

through overcoming opposition - such as lifting weights - we develop our

character muscles by overcoming challenges and adversity.

Stephen R. Covey

Hardiness, also known as personality hardiness, psychological hardiness, or

cognitive hardiness in the textbook, is a personality style meant to measure how

resilient one is to stress. The creator, Kobasa, described a personality

characteristics that typed people who were healthy under extreme stress, as


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compared to those who developed physical health problems from the same stress

levels.

Hardiness helps balance the relationship between stressful life events and poor

health. Hardiness can be characterized as being made of three components:

(a) Commitment to Self and Work

People with psychological hardiness often have a sense of purpose in what they

do. Meaning seems to be part of their life. Personally, this measure encourages

us to rely on our deeper values, which exist no matter what the context. So, if

self-esteem, respect, honesty, love, or creativity matter to someone, they can rely

on these core values no matter what stress situations takes them. If you have

commitment, you believe it is key to remain involved with events and people

relevant to your situation, no matter how stressful things become.

(b) Sense of Control Over One's Experiences and Outcomes

People who have a sense of what they can do and focus in the area of what they

can do, rather than whats outside their control, often to be more hardy and less


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painfully stressed. If you are in control, you want to continue to have an influence

on the outcomes going on around you that you can control, no matter how

difficult this becomes. It seems like a mistake to let yourself slip into

powerlessness and passivity when there is always a billion reason why a situation

might be bad or good. Stick with the good.

(c) Attitude that Stress Represents Challenge, and thus should be treated as an

opportunity for growth rather than as a threat.

People with hardiness can see challenges in stressful situations. They generally

see the change everyone is capable of and expect life around them to change.

They dont see a point of yielding to threatening interpretations of stress.

Instead, mistakes are necessary for learning and taking losses are steps to

winning, weaknesses are opportunities to grow better. If you have a sense of

challenge, you see stresses as a normal part of living, and an opportunity to learn,

develop, and grow. You do not believe that easy comfort and security is the norm.

Individuals high in hardiness are better able to withstand the negative effects of

pressures of stress and, consequently, are less likely to become ill. Their


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resistance to illness presumably results from perceiving life changes as less

stressful or from having more resources at their disposal to cope with life

changes . In support of this hypothesis Kobasa found that hardy executives were

more likely to remain healthy under conditions of high stress than were nonhardy

executives. Since the initial research by Kobasa and her colleagues, other

investigators have examined the relationship between hardiness and

psychological health, most often focusing on hardiness as a predictor of

depression. The consistent finding is that low hardiness is associated either

directly or indirectly with greater depression. In addition, Kobasa concluded the

following:

A hardy personality may prevail a genetic disposition to illness. This is explained

with building better mindset when one has high neuroticism.

A person can exhibit several Type A traits without risk of health problems. So

stress is not the cause of bad health but how you interpret it does.


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Having these inner resources as in the 3 Cs are more important than strong family

support during high-pressure times. Having other for support may help but is not

necessary at all for one to be in control of one's life.

Although the hardy personality may appear innate, the traits of commitment,

control, and challenge can be easily developed. This leads on to the next part in

which what personality traits can be identified to help with the understanding of

your commitment to a unique and worthy goal, control through using your

strengths and understanding your weakness, and framing relevant stress that are

actually challenges so that you can reach your full potential.


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Part 2

Know Your

Important Traits


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2.1Highly Sensitive Person

A light, tender, sensitive touch is worth a ton of brawn

Peter Thomson quotes

One in five people are born with the trait of highly sensitivity or are HSP meaning

that 20% of our population is highly sensitive. Being a HSP means their nervous

system absorbs & processes ten times more information than an average person.

They possess a complex inner life; is conscientious, and deeply moved by the arts.Often are more intuitive and tend to be more thoughtful people being able to pick

up on things that a person may miss. According to Aron, HSP tend to be

"visionaries", high intuitive artists, or inventors, as well as more conscientious,

cautious, and wise people.


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HSPs may notice higher than average awareness of and sensitivity to:

The 5 standard senses (sight, sound, touch, taste, smell)

Emotions, both their own as well those of others

Subtle changes in the environment

Intuition or extra-sensory information

Because of this trait, the mind of the Highly Sensitive Person works differently.

HSPs tend to:

Be highly conscientious and highly creative

Concentrate deeply with a high degree of focus and posses deep awareness of

their own thoughts and body condition

Be aware of even small changes in the environment (and can be easily

distracted by them) and process material to a deeper level


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A potential problem of the trait shows up at more intense levels of stimulation.

HSPs' nervous system are more sensitive to subtleties, their brain processes andreflects more deeply, they are prone to over stimulation, get easily stressed out

and overwhelmed. It has been discovered that HSPs are nearly always in the

"Fight or Flight" mode. This is the adrenaline packed stress causing state that

people go into when danger is perceived. So normal, HSP's may experience stress

significantly more often. Highly sensitive people are more susceptible to external

stresses than the normal person. What is normal arousing situation for the

majority of people will be overly arousing for the highly sensitive person. Both

positive and negative environment stimuli: Sound, aromas and flavors, lights,

beauty, and tactile stimulation will all be more deeply processed. The heightened

sensitivity is not the same as shyness or introversion. Highly sensitive people are

prone to overstimulation that may happen with bright lights, strong smells, and

loud sirens. To understand what it is like to be a HSP for a few moments, imagine

walking into a room filled with people. You immediately notice that one picture

on the wall is hung slightly crooked, the carpet needs to be cleaned, someone in

the room is sad, someone is angry, the lighting is too bright, the music is too loud,


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and someone is wearing too darn much cologne. These are things that the HSP

notices all within a matter of seconds, while no one else notices any of it at all.

This constant level of hyper stimulation, stress and being overwhelmed can lead

the HSP into a state that leaves them open to a host of physical and stress related

illnesses, as well as depression and addiction if not properly managed. Anxiety

can be a huge issue. This anxiety can come from a being expected to be less

sensitive and to toughen up.

There is nothing wrong with being highly sensitive, but in a culture where it is not

the norm, it can be very misunderstood. In the U.S., that means there are many

pressures to be more bold, extroverted, sociable and outgoing. Overall, being

highly sensitive is a trait we can embrace and use to be more creative and aware.

But it demands living more strategically and realizing popular values may not be a

good fit, to avoid being overwhelm so we can better nurture ourselves.


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2.2Basic Stress Profiles

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one

Hans Selye

All too often, people bring on stress due to their behavior patterns. The two main

types of behavior patterns, Type A and Type B, are based on several observable

characteristics and used in the past as a main indicators of stress.

Type A behavior characterizes a primarily hard-driving, overambitious, aggressive,

at time hostile and overly competitive person. type A individuals often are self-

motivated, set their own goals, are excessively achievement-oriented, try to

accomplish many tasks at the same time, and have a high degree of time urgency.


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In contrast, Type B behavior is characteristic of calm, relaxed, casual ,easygoing

person. Type B people do not feel pressured or hurried, take one thing at a time,and seldom set their own deadlines.

Over the years experts have found that individuals tested as Type A are under

much stress and have a significantly higher incidence of coronary heart disease.

Based on these findings, Type A people have been suggested to lower their stress

level by building hardiness. Many of the Type A characteristics are learned

behaviors and are not innate. The main problem, however, has centered on which

Type A behavior should be changed because not all of them are detrimental.

There are also many people that perform well under pressure. They typically are

classified as Type A but do not show any of the harmful effects of stress. Drs.

Robert and Marilyn Kriegel came up with the term Type C to characterize people

with these behaviors. Type C individuals are equally as highly stressed as Type A's

but do not seem to be at higher risk for disease than Type A's. The keys to

performance and health in Type C seem to be commitment, confidence, and

control. Type C people are highly committed to what they are doing, have a great

deal of confidence in their ability to do their work, and are in constant control of


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their actions. They are those who have learned to build a healthy mindset

regarding stress if prone to stress. Type A behavior is not the sole factor to amajor risk of coronary heart disease. It's the Type A individuals who commonly

express anger and hostility that are at higher risk. Therefore, many focus on

changing the latter part to prevent disease. Next time you feel like getting even

with someone for what he/she have done to you , you may want to consider that

your anger may be hurting you more.


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Part 3

Know Your

Personality


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3.1MBTI

"Whatever the circumstance of your life, the understanding of type can make your

perceptions clearer, your judgments sounder, and your life closer to your heart's

desire".

Isabel Briggs Myers

Jung's theory of personality, which has been implemented in the Myers-Briggs

Type Inventory (MBTI), uses a typology to describe personality. According to this

theory, four main attitudes and functions govern a preference for how we

operate within each attitude or "function". Preference means the preferred way

of operating and does not mean that one does not or cannot use abilities in the

opposite preference. Thus, by determining your preference within each of the


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four areas you have one kind of description of your personality and by putting the

four preferences tougher you have your personality "type". The areas include

whether you're introverted or extroverted, intuitive or sensing, thinking or

feeling, and judging or perceiving. So if someone was extroverted, intuitive,

thinking, and judging they would be considered an ENTJ.

The use of the MBTI and similar instruments to stress management is effective

and direct and is widely used in the work setting. The self-affirmation and self

acceptance that comes with understanding oneself helps people in looking at

their different interpretations of stress, and also helps in the creating of stress

management solutions catered to their unique problems.

Read through the following description carefully, as you learn about the

preferences within each attitude and function, think about how you relate in for

each preference.

1. Attitude Toward the World

This basically means how you relate to the world. Do you often find yourself

joining inside the excitement of a party or standing back and reflecting on its


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meaning? Extroverts are outer-directed. They get their primary stimulation and

fun from being inside the action of the environment. Introverts are inner-

directed. They are more concerned with their own inner world of thoughts and

ideas and how it relates to the world. Extroverts like conversation, and are

friendly, easy to know, and expressive. They are action-oriented and seldom

spend time in reflection. Introverts are private, reticent and may be hard to know.

They usually have a few close friends and spend considerable time thinking and

processing their experiences internally. They may find being at a party stressful.

2. Ways to Perceive and Absorb Information

People with a preference for the sensing take information in directly through the

five senses. People who prefer intuition take information in more indirectly and

tend to extend their perception through past experiences and expectations. This

basically mean that sensors live more in the now while intuitors may live in

possibilities of the moment. Sensors are observant and tend to see things in

smaller parts. They usually don't like theory and abstraction and are usually literal

minded. They like details and facts, and are often happy with the status quo.

Intuitors are often theorizers and dreamer. They like change, variety and can be


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impractical at the moment. They like fitting things together and often don't notice

individual parts. They are innovative, imaginative, and often focus on the future.

Sensors can easily see the tree in the forest while intuitors can easily see the

forest from the trees. Sensors who have been stuck in abstract projects or work

may find themselves stressed. Intuitors can be equally stressed out on projects

that demand too little abstract thinking.

3. Ways of Judging the Information

People who prefer thinking are logical and analytical. They decide things by

thinking, and they can be objective and impersonal, but may have trouble when

dealing with other people's feelings. Those who prefer feeling are warm,

emotional, understanding, and spontaneous. They can be too sensitive and may

have their feelings hurt on impersonal issues. They see things from a personal,

value perspectives and they have trouble being analytical and objective . Basically,

people who prefer think focus more on how the world works with facts and

figures in an impersonal way. They may find it more convenient to do their job at

work than to manage the work relationships. Feelers may find the opposite true.


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People who prefer feeling focus more on how the world works towards their and

other's personal values and feelings.

4. Preferred Lifestyle

Those who prefer judging like an organized, orderly approach to life. They like

rules and clear limits and they like to have their daily life consistent with their

expectations. They don't like changes or surprises. People who prefer perceiving

like to be spontaneous and to take life as it comes. They emphasize the

perception or experiencing of the world for what it is, rather than controlling or

judging the world for practical use. They like to have flexibility and tend to be

disorganized and do practical things at the last minute.

Judging

People who prefer judging feel worried when they lose control over their

expected lifestyle or their time. If they can't get organized or if they are so

overwhelmed that organization seems impossible, judgers can be stressed out. If

they are continually forced to adapt to changes in their expectations, they also

become stressed. Judgers need to be able to control their days and probably feel


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stress when they are under someone else's control. They would still probably

prefer have structure than to having none.

Judgers manage their stress best by being more in control of their life style. Time

management or better, priority management is a great help to them. They have

great abilities to get things done so that exercise, meditation, or some other form

of relaxation can be very helpful if they fit it into their schedule. If a judger is

committed to one of these activities, he or she can do it on a regular and

persistent basis according to their personal priorities.

Perceiving

A person who prefers perceiving doesn't prefer to be organized. In the extreme,

any imposition of organization or structure will stress out a perceiver. Since we all

need to learn organizational and structural skills. The perceiver must find a way of

structuring things that work for him or her. He or she will feel great stress if anysystem that he or she uses or that is imposed on him or her doesn't allow some

flexibility. Strong perceivers may do poorly in school and feel great stress because

they are not accustomed to the organize way of studying.


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To manage anxiety, a perceiver needs to understand his or her need for

spontaneity and flexible. Creating a work style that emphasizes independence and

change will help this kind of person decrease stress. Still a perceiver can use an

effective self-organization plan to help decrease stress by allowing them more

freedom from productivity gained. If he or she can work out a compromise that

allows the person to be successful and productive, yet allows for spontaneity and

still has flexibility, the stress can be managed.


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Resources

MBTI Online Test

HumanMetric Jung Typology Test

Further Reading

Please Understand Me IIby David Keirsey

The Highly Sensitive Personby Elaine Aron
http://humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asphttp://humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asphttp://www.amazon.com/Please-Understand-Temperament-Character-Intelligence/dp/1885705026/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1342072974&sr=1-2&keywords=mbtihttp://www.amazon.com/Please-Understand-Temperament-Character-Intelligence/dp/1885705026/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1342072974&sr=1-2&keywords=mbtihttp://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Person-Elaine-Ph-D/dp/0553062182/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1342073129http://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Person-Elaine-Ph-D/dp/0553062182/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1342073129http://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Person-Elaine-Ph-D/dp/0553062182/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1342073129http://www.amazon.com/Please-Understand-Temperament-Character-Intelligence/dp/1885705026/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1342072974&sr=1-2&keywords=mbtihttp://humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

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