How to Make

Anyone Fall Ill w

ith You

CONTEMPORARY BOOKS A TRIBUNE COMPANY

Page iv

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Lowndes, Leil. How to make anyone fall in love with you / Leil Lowndes. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 0-8092-3211-1 1. Love. 2. Man-woman relationships. 3. Intimacy (Psychology) 4. Sexual excitement. I. Title. HQ801.L69 1996 306.7—dc20 96-14502

CIP

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How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with YouLeil Lowndes

Jacket design by Scott Rattray Interior design by Mary Lockwood

Excerpt from Obsession: Copyright © 1995 by Debra McCarthy-Anderson and Carol Bruce-Thomas. All rights reserved. Reproduced with the permission of the publisher, Harlequin Books S.A.

Copyright © 1996 by Leil Lowndes All rights reserved Published by Contemporary Books An imprint of NTC/Contemporary Publishing Company Two Prudential Plaza, Chicago, Illinois 60601-6790 Manufactured in the United States of America International Standard Book Number: 0-8092-3211-1 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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To fulfill the promise of the title, How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You offers 85 techniques based on scientific studies into the nature of romantic love.

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CONTENTS

1 Anyone? Yes, Practically Anyone

1

Science "Discovers" Sex 2

How More Research Was Compiled 4

How the Techniques Were Developed 5

How I Tested the Techniques 7

2 What Makes People Fall in Love? The Six Elements

9

What Makes People Fall in Love? The Six Elements

I. First Impressions 9

II. Similar Character, Complementary Needs 10

III. Equity 11

IV. Ego 12

V. Early-Date Gender-Menders 13

VI. Rx for Sex 14

3 The Physical Side of Falling in Love

17

"Why Do My Insides Go All Funny?" 17

"Does Somebody Have to Be Pea-Brained to Fall in Love with Me?" 17

"Why Do We Fall in Love with One Person and Not Another?" 18

"How Can These Little Things Start Love?" 19

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4 Where Are All the Good Men and Women?

23

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places 23

5 Does Love at First Sight Exist?

25

Part One: First Impressions You Never Get a Second Chance at Love at First Sight

6 How to Make a Dynamite First Impression

29

First Impressions Last Forever 29

First Impressions Last Forever 29

Be Ready for Love—Always! 30

Stay Psychologically "Fit to Kill" 32

7 How to Ignite Love at First Sight

35

How Much Eye Contact Does It Take to Imitate Love? 37

How to Get Sexy "Bedroom Eyes" 39

How to Awaken Primal, Unsettling, Sexy Feelings in Your Quarry 41

Naughty Eyes Are So Nice 42

8 Your First Approach

45

The Gentle Art of Pickup (Not for Men Only) 45

Hunters, Make the First Move . . . Fast 46

Huntresses, Make the Fast Move . . . First 49

First Moves That Work for Women 50

9 Your First Body Language

53

Let Your Body Do the Talking 53

When You Are Quarry 56

The Word That Can Save Your Relationship 57

"But This Is So Basic!" 60

10 Your First Conversation

61

Conversation Is Making Beautiful Music Together 61

Conversation Is Like Making Love 62

Conversation Is Like Making Love 62

Conversation Is Like Selling 62

How to Know What Topics Turn Your Quarry On 65

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How to Fool Your Quarry into Thinking You Two Are Already in Love 68

Get Even Closer by Giving the Gift of Intimacy 70

Make Your Lifestyle "Fit" Your Quarry's Lovemap 71

11 Your First Date

75

The Game Begins in Earnest 75

"How Soon Should I Make My Move?" 76

"Playing Hard to Get—Should I, or Shouldn't I?" 77

The Scientifically Proved Best First Date 79

Give Your Quarry First-Date Butterflies 80

Plant the Seeds of Similarity 82

First-Date Restaurant Smarts 82

Hunters, Some Spit and Polish for Your P's and Q's 84

Huntresses, Forgive His Foibles 85

First-Date Duds 87

"I Haven't Got a Thing to Wear" 87

Part Two: Similar Character, Complementary Needs I Want a Lover Just Like Dear Old Me (Well, Almost)!

Want a Lover Just Like Dear Old Me (Well, Almost)!

12 "It's You and Me, Baby, Alone Against This Mad, Mad World"

93

Similarity . . . and a Touch of Difference (Just a Touch) 94

13 How to Establish Subconscious Similarity

97

How to Instantly Make Your Quarry Feel, "Why, We're Just Alike!" 97

Words to Give Your Quarry "That Family Feeling" 98

"We Even Speak the Same (Body) Language" 101

14 How to Establish Conscious Similarity

105

The Three Crucial Conscious Similarities 105

Let's Talk About Our Relationship—Not! 113

15 How to Establish Complementary Needs

117

"I Got Just What You Need, Baby" 117

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Part Three: Ego How Do You Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways

16 The World Revolves Around You, My Quarry

123

Ego Massage Is a Highly Skilled Craft 124

17 Step One: Silent Praise

127

Step One: Silent Praise

Let Your Body Do the Praising 127

18 Step Two: Empathy

129

"I Can Identify with That!" 129

Lovers Share Intimate Details 131

Lovers Have Private Jokes 133

19 Step Three: Admiration

137

"Oh Honey, You Did an Absolutely Superb Job Slicing These Mushrooms"

137

20 Step Four: The Implied Compliment

141

"You're Much Too Young to Remember This, But . . ." 141

The Bull's-Eye Booster: "I Just Love What You Like About Yourself" 142

21 Step Five: The Big Guns

145

"You Are the Most Fascinating Person I've Ever Met" 145

"What Does Giving a Killer Compliment Do for Me?" 146

22 Fine-Tuning the Ego Machine

149

"Wait a Minute. Does Everybody Like Compliments?" 149

Knee-Jerk Praise: "What You Just Did Was Fabulous" 150

Have the First Laugh 151

Lovers Give Each Other Pet Names 152

When Your Quarry Praises You 153

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23 Keeping the Love Coals Warm

155

"I Love the Way You Wrinkle Your Nose When You Laugh" 155

Part Four: Equity The WIIFM Principle of Love (What's in It for Me?)

24 Everybody's Got a Market Value, Baby

161

Why Is Finding Love Like Horse Trading? 162

What Currency "Buys" a Good Partner? 163

25 How Can I Use the Equity Principle to Find Love?

167

You Really Don't Want to Marry the Handsome Prince or the Beautiful Princess

167

"Why Don't I Want to Marry Up? 168

"What Happens if Inequity Strikes After We're Married?" 170

26 How Important Are Looks?

173

What Type of Looks Do Women Like? 174

What Type of Looks Do Men Like? 175

"How Can I Make My Quarry Think I'm Better Looking?" 176

How to Beef Up Your Odds on Making the Kill 179

27 Pursuing Rich and Famous Prey

181

Pursuing Rich and Famous Prey

The Look of Money 181

The Sound of Class 182

What Does the U Crowd Talk About? 184

Use Status Words with Status Prey 185

28 Upping Your Ante in Other Assets

Knowledge, Social Graces, and Inner Beauty Are Tangible Assets 187

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29 Help Them Convince Themselves That They Love You

189

Let Your Quarry Do Favors for You 189

Hey! What About "O Lyric Love, Half Angel and Half Bird"? 191

Part Five: Early-Date Gender-Menders Is There Love After Eden?

30 "I Hope He or She's Not a Jerk Like All the Others"

195

"I Want a Man I Can Talk to, a Woman Who Thinks Like a Man" 196

31 What Is "Man Talk" and What Is "Woman Talk"? (Does It Exist?)

199

32 "How Do You Feel About That?"

203

33 "Excuse Me, Could You Tell Me Where . . ."

207