HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LISTENING SKILLS€¦ · HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LISTENING SKILLS Presented by...

HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LISTENING SKILLS

Presented by

Sindy Martin

Why should I want to become a better listener?

Increase communication, strengthen

relationships, create opportunities,

save time, save money and win the

sale.

I was floating in a tunnel toward a very

bright light and then a voice told me I

had to go back and finish listening to

the presentation.

Course Objectives

• There are 4 types of listeners, learn what they are and how to identify them.

Course Objectives


• Learn the 5 emotions that are listening barriers.

Course Objectives



• Discover two effective ways to help you focus.

Course Objectives




• Enhance better listening using the small talk rules

Course Objectives





• How to deal with a bore, a mumbler and a non-stop talker.

Course Objectives






• Become aware of the subliminal messages you are sending with your body language while listening.

Course Objectives






• Become aware of the subliminal messages you are sending with your body language while listening.

• The secret to building instant rapport to gain a person's trust.

Four Types of Listeners

1. Time-Oriented


1. Time-Oriented

2. Content-Oriented


1. Time-Oriented

2. Content-Oriented

3. People-Oriented


1. Time-Oriented

2. Content-Oriented

3. People-Oriented

4. Action-Oriented

Time-oriented listeners are concerned

with efficiency. These listeners don’t want

the whole story; they just want the facts

that are pertinent. They want the

information to be clear and to the point.

Time-Oriented

Content - Oriented

Content-oriented listeners evaluate what they

hear carefully and prefer credible sources. They

evaluate the content from different

perspectives and angles. What are the facts

and what is the evidence.

People-Oriented

People-oriented listeners focus on the feelings of

other people and listen with relationships in mind.

They respond well to humor and illustrations.

Action-Oriented

Action-oriented listeners are strictly focused on the

tasks. They focus first on what will be done, what

actions need to happen, and when and who will do

them. They focus on solving problems.

5 Emotions that are Listening Barriers

• Fear


• Fear

• Worry


• Fear

• Worry

• Jealously


• Fear

• Worry

• Jealously

• Anger


• Fear

• Worry

• Jealously

• Anger

• Sadness

JEALOUSY

SADNESS

Hot Buttons that Trigger Emotions (Yours and Theirs)

• Pushy People


• Pushy People

• Whining


• Pushy People

• Whining

• Know-It-All Attitudes


• Pushy People

• Whining


• Bad Grammar


• Pushy People

• Whining


• Bad Grammar

• People That Talk Too Much


• Pushy People

• Whining


• Bad Grammar

• People That Talk Too Much

• Negative People

Improve Your Focus While Listening

• Be an active listener, not a passive listener. Nod, show surprise and other feelings.



• Try to focus on the main subject instead of the words.



• Try to focus on the main subject instead of the words.

• Give feedback about what you just heard. (“So, what you are saying is….”)

“Hold my calls until I’m willing to listen.”

4 SMALL TALK RULES

• 30 DAY RULE

4 SMALL TALK RULES

• 30 DAY RULE

• 80/20 RULE

4 SMALL TALK RULES

• 30 DAY RULE

• 80/20 RULE

• 4 MINUTE RULE

4 SMALL TALK RULES

• 30 DAY RULE

• 80/20 RULE

• 4 MINUTE RULE

• 5 MINUTE RULE

Bad Speaking Habits that Effect Our Ability to Listen

When They Are Boring

• Boring people have unbalanced conversations.



• Boring people can't make people laugh.




• Boring people tend to be monotone.





• Boring people can't tell if people are engaged in the conversation.





• Boring people can't tell if people are engaged in the conversation.

• Boring people don't know how to tell a good story.

Dealing with Boring People

• Try to concentrate on the subject.

• Ask questions that will elicit brief answers.

• Request that they speak louder if they tend to be monotone.

• Try to inject humor into the conversation.

When People Mumble

• They don’t want you to hear them.

• They are focused on something else.

• They are nervous.

• They speak soft and fast.

• They don’t realize they mumble.

Dealing with the Mumbler

• Ask them to look at you. “May I have your attention for a moment?”



• Request that they speak louder and more slowly.



• Request that they speak louder and more slowly.

• Repeat what they said and ask if you heard them correctly.

Non-Stop Talkers

• First, listen—but not for too long.

Determine what are they trying to

communicate?

Non-Stop Talkers

• First, listen—but not for too long.

Determine what are they trying to

communicate?

• Ask if you may interrupt.

Non-Stop Talkers

• First, listen—but not for too long. Determine

what are they trying to communicate?


• When you interrupt, say something about

what you heard.

Non-Stop Talkers

• First, listen—but not for too long. Determine what are they

trying to communicate?


• When you interrupt, say something about what you heard.

• Share a similar experience.

Non-Stop Talkers

• First, listen—but not for too long. Determine what are they

trying to communicate?


• When you interrupt, say something about what you heard.

• Share a similar experience.

• Stop the conversation.

What if you talk too much?

• Think before you speak, and don't speak if you have nothing

important to contribute.




• Practice self-control. Allow the other person to speak.





• Avoid interrupting when the other person is speaking.






• Be aware of indulging in useless talk for the sake of talking.







• Be brief while conveying your thoughts.







• Be brief while conveying your thoughts.

• Observe your listener's reactions while speaking.

Your Body Language While Listening

Subliminal messages you are sending with your body language while listening.

Be a “whole body” listener:

• Attitude



• Attitude

• Posture



• Attitude

• Posture

• Nod to Acknowledge



• Attitude

• Posture


• Eye Contact



• Attitude

• Posture


• Eye Contact

• Be Alert



• Attitude

• Posture


• Eye Contact

• Be Alert

• Match the speaker

The ability to see, hear, or become aware of

something through the

senses.

What is Perception?

THREE MAIN SENSES

VISUAL

AUDITORY

KINESTHETIC

REMEMBERCREATE

THREE MAIN SENSES

VISUAL

AUDITORY

KINESTHETIC

55%

REMEMBERCREATE

THREE MAIN SENSES

VISUAL

AUDITORY

KINESTHETIC

55%

15%

REMEMBERCREATE

THREE MAIN SENSES

VISUAL

AUDITORY

KINESTHETIC

55%

15%

30%

REMEMBERCREATE

VISUAL

• Well Dressed

• Fast Thinking

• In Good Shape

• Confident

• Fast Decisions

VISUAL WORDS

• How do you see yourself?

• It’s a bit hazy right now.

• I see what you’re saying

• He’s such a colorful character.

• A sight for sore eyes.

• We are a company with a vision.

• We see eye to eye on the subject.

• It’s a bit vague.

• Beyond a shadow of a doubt.

• Can you imagine?

• Let me make this clear.

• Can you shed some light on this?

• We have a bright future.

VISUAL QUESTIONS

AUDITORY

• Love Conversation

• Expressive Voices

• Slower to Convert Words

into Pictures

• Broadcasters, Teachers,

Lawyers, Counselors and

Writers

AUDITORY WORDS

AUDITORY QUESTIONS

Sounds familiar.

Tell me more.

Does what he said ring a bell with you?

He gave a satisfactory account of himself.

At last we have harmony at home.

She had me completely tongue-tied.

These colors are really loud.

I didn’t like his tone of voice.

Let me tell you.

Tell me how.

She’s a scream.

In a manner of speaking…

I want everybody I the room to voice an opinion.

That’s clear as a bell.

KINESTHETIC

• Speaks Slowly

• Eclectic Dresser

• Slower to Convert

Words into Pictures

• Plumbers, Electricians,

Athletes, Dancers

KINESTHETIC WORDS

Bearable

BoilsDownto

Break

CatchOn

Cold

CometoGripsWith

Concrete

Connect

Dig

Explore

Feel

Firm

(Gowiththe)Flow

Foundation

Freeze

Grasp

Hand-in-Hand

Handle

Hard

Heated

Hold

Hunch

Hurt

Intuition

Light-Headed

MakeContact

Motion

Muddled

Nail

PainintheNeck

Pressure

Push

Rush

Sensitive

Set

Shallow

Sharp

Shift

Shocking

SmoothOperator

Softly

Solid

SortThrough

Squeeze

Stir

Strain

Stress

Stretch

Structured

Support

Tapinto

Tension

Throwout

Tiedup

Topsy-Turvy

Touch

Unbearable

Underhanded

Unfeeling

Unravel

Unsettled

Warm

KINESTHETIC QUESTIONS

How do you feel about …?

There were a few stumbling blocks.

I’ll get in touch with her.

It slipped through the cracks

I’m not following you.

Can you pull some strings?

She came to grips with the problem.

I can’t handle the pressure.

He’s a pain in the neck. Stay in touch.

I can’t put my finger on anything concrete.

Start from scratch.

Walk me through the ceremony one more time.

I felt calm, cool and collected.

BODY LANGUAGE

• Mirroring - Building rapport with others by

mimicking their nonverbal cues

• People like those that are similar or equal to

them

• Mirroring body language facilitates compliance

• Many self-help books suggest mirroring

techniques to get people to like them (i.e.

Unlimited Power by Anthony Robbins)

HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LISTENING SKILLS€¦ · HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LISTENING SKILLS Presented by...

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