How to Engage Children's Cooperation
-
Upload
nurkholis-ainunnajib -
Category
Education
-
view
79 -
download
2
Transcript of How to Engage Children's Cooperation
A Book ReviewNurkholis Ainunnajib
Jakarta, Indonesia
Contents
Helping Children Deal with
Their Feeling Engaging
Cooperation
Alternatives to
Punishment Encouragi
ng Autonomy
Praise
Freeing Children
from Playing Roles
Engaging Cooperation
Typical responses from parents (or teachers)
“Your dirty fingerprints are on
the door again! Why do you
always do that? The trouble with you is you never
listen!
“You are supposed to write three
sentences using adverbs of
manner; not irregular verbs. How dumb can
you get?
“If you don’t spit that gum out this minute, I’m going
to open your mouth and take it
out!
Blaming & Accusing Name-calling Threats
Typical responses from parents (or teachers)
“You still didn’t do the instruction? What are you
waiting for? Do it NOW!”
“Why can’t you be more like your
friend? He always gets his work done
ahead of time!”
“Just keep on being selfish.
You’ll see, no one is ever gonna play
with you. You’ll have no friends.”
Commands Comparisons Threats
Is there any alternative for those statements?
1.Describe. Describe what you see, or describe the problem.
2.Give information3.Say it with a word4.Talk about your feelings5.Write a note
Let’s compare these examples!
Let’s compare these examples!
Let’s compare these examples!
Some considerations to think about:- When you start to change, there might be a transition
period. Be ready for unpleasant responses from your children or students.
- When you’ve reminded them for the second or third time and no reaction from them, stop. Instead, find out from him if you’ve been heard.
- Reply “Sure, I will do it later” with “ When is that?”- Choose the strategies that suit their age. Or combine
the strategies.- Some teenagers prefer “The One Word Statement” to
your lecture.- Yet, they don’t like their name to be “The One Word
Statement” - Try to change your “NO”
And Some Alternatives to “NO”
Give information (and leave out the “No”)
Describe the problem
Give yourself time to think
Accept feelings
When possible, change it into a “Yes”
Let’s be Reflective!•Have you ever done or said something unpleasant to your kids to engage their cooperation? What was that?• If you were given a second chance, what would you do/say to your kids?
People have asked us, “If I use these skills appropriately, will my children always respond?” our answer is: We would hope not. Children aren’t robots. Besides, our purpose is not to set forth a series of techniques to manipulate behavior so that
the children always respond.
Our purpose is to speak to what is best in our children—their intelligence, their initiative, their sense of responsibility, their sense of humor, their ability to be sensitive to the needs of
others.
We want to demonstrate the kind of respectful communication that we hope our children will use with us—now, during their adolescent years, and ultimately as our
adult friends.
--- Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish ---