and be part of the IN crowd

HOW TO BECOME A

VAMPIRE

You know you want to . . . Some people like to say that it is impossible to be turned into a vampire. They're wrong. Anyone can join the ranks of the undead! All you have to do is follow this helpful guide, and you too, can be a vampire!

Hang out at cemeteries and look for creepy people who may, themselves, be vampires. These people will probably be pale and sickly-looking, and may have blood smeared all over their mouths from feeding on unsuspecting humans.

Cultivate friends within the vampiric community. Talk to your new cemetery buddies, go to their parties. Become best buddies with them, and they just may bite you! (This is a good thing.)

Dress like a 13-year-old mall goth. This is imperative.

(If you don't buy all your clothes at Hot Topic, you're doing it wrong.)

Locate a supply of human blood! Here are some places for obtaining it: blood banks, hospitals (the sick people will be too messed up to notice if you take blood from them), losers who enjoy having blood taken, fetishists, etc. You'll need this blood to drink after you become a vampire.

Get bitten by a vampire! Depending upon how messed up you are, this can be either a horrific or enjoyable experience. Do you like pain? If so, you'll probably love this part.

Make sure to stay out of the sunlight, or you'll turn to ashes or catch on fire or something.

(That would be unpleasant.)

Always pretend that you want to hide your new condition, but make sure to flaunt your vampiric qualities on Twitter, Facebook, and to people you know. Be very vague.

Warnings:

* Vampires are undead.

* Keep out of sunlight.

* Coffins really aren't the best sleeping places. Beds are better. (adapted from wikihowl.com)