How Important Are Your Kid’s SATs?

8/7/2019 How Important Are Your Kids SATs?

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How Important Are Your Kids SATs?

Parents of high-achievers are getting the message: Stop

the pressure. But what happens when your kid is the one

refusing to let up?

My daughter, Kerry, like most college-bound high school juniors, just took her SATs. Watching her

prepare, I found myself on board with the movement to reduce academic anxiety in kids. In her new film

Race to Nowhere, a mother named Vicki Abeles examines the high-stakes culture that has invaded some

schools, creating unhealthy, unprepared, and stressed-out youth. To address the problem, places such as

Beaver Country Day School in Chestnut Hill have gone as far as eliminating that crown jewel of the

college application, the Advanced Placement course. But even as I plead with Kerry to take it easy, she

keeps the pressure on herself. Whats a father to do when his daughter is the responsible one?

Ive thought about this a lot lately. A couple of months ago, I stepped to the podium of a lecture hall at

Wesleyan University. Before me sat 130 parents of high school juniors, finishing an elegant dinner. Their

kids slouched in chairs around the edges of the room. The students assumed bored looks, but I had seen

anxiety surface in many of them during the long day of college application seminars.

My job that evening was to introduce Wesleyans charismatic president, Michael Roth, and say something

profound about the college selection process. I spotted Kerry at the back of the room. Her head was down. I

have a history of over-sharing, so I had promised not to say anything that would embarrass her. The truth

is, I wasnt sure what I could say about the process that was positive.

In my opinion, so much of what happens to our high school students is wrongheaded. They are told the
http://www.racetonowhere.com/http://www.racetonowhere.com/


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college they get into will determine everything from getting the right job to meeting the right spouse to

finding happiness. By age 16, theyre supposed to know exactly who they want to be when they grow up.

(Im 46 and still have no clue.) I know that my daughters future worth will not be decided by her choice of

college, but I doubt she believes it.

Kerry goes to a private high school in Cambridge, a place with one of the best track records in the state for

getting kids into Ivy League colleges. The fact that she first reported this reputation to me when she was

still in middle school scared me to deathit tipped me off to how much pressure she was already under.

Ive never cracked open a college guide, but I recently discovered Kerry had been secretly studying them

for years.

Ive realized that the best thing I can do for Kerry is lead by example. So I dont judge her college list, and

I didnt pay thousands of dollars for SAT prep courses. I tell her that she shouldnt tie her self-worth in any

way to which colleges send her fat envelopes, which send thin ones.

Instead, I encourage Kerry to do the things she loves simply because she loves them. She has a passion for

acting, and though I think shes amazing, she doesnt expect to premiere on Broadway any time soon. Butthats why Im so happy she sticks with it: She acts only because she enjoys it, not to seek advancement in

some cosmic pecking order.

At the Wesleyan podium that day, I spoke haltingly of how old I suddenly felt, and how I would cry when

Kerry left home. Then I found my voice. The day my parents dropped me off at college was perhaps the

best day of my life, because it was the first day of a great adventure, I said. Yes, I studied hard, but I

learned the most from the friends I made, the parties I attended, my dumb mistakes and embarrassing

failures. Our children are under so much pressure to succeed in a very narrowly defined way, I said. The

point, however, is to give them the chance to have an adventure and learn about themselves in the process.

I saw Kerry look up. I am not sure she was listeningwith adolescent girls, its hard to telland I dont

think she was entirely convinced by my argument. But when she finally receives her SAT results, Ive

already figured out what Im going to tell her. If she does great (as she probably will), Im going to say she

needs to pick a college where she can have an adventure. And if she doesnt do as well as she expects, Im

going to tell her the same thing.

[This story ran in theBoston Globe Magazine on Januray 30, 2011]

[Man of the House:And So it Begins]

Photo byaaron13251/Flickr

About Tom Matlack

Tom Matlack is just foolish enough to believe he is a decent man. He has a 16-year-old daughter and 14-

and 5-year-old sons. His wife, Elena, is the love of his life.
http://www.boston.com/community/moms/articles/2011/01/30/parents_stop_the_pressure_but_some_high_achieving_kids_wont_let_up/http://www.boston.com/community/moms/articles/2011/01/30/parents_stop_the_pressure_but_some_high_achieving_kids_wont_let_up/http://manofthehouse.com/blog/editors-blog/and-so-it-beginshttp://manofthehouse.com/blog/editors-blog/and-so-it-beginshttp://www.flickr.com/photos/aaronharmon/http://www.flickr.com/photos/aaronharmon/http://www.flickr.com/photos/aaronharmon/http://www.boston.com/community/moms/articles/2011/01/30/parents_stop_the_pressure_but_some_high_achieving_kids_wont_let_up/http://manofthehouse.com/blog/editors-blog/and-so-it-beginshttp://www.flickr.com/photos/aaronharmon/


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Comments

1. Lars says:

March 21, 2011 at 7:44 am

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Tom, this is a great comment. Ive been thinking much the same thing, that were putting too

much emphasis on waling a straight line, on finishing university quickly, to pick a field and stick

to it, etc. On the one hand its natural we want out kids to do well and create something for

themselves. On the other hand theres a risk that with less emphasis on exploring and

experimenting, theres a lot of things about the world and about themselves the kids will never

discover.

Im reminded of Neil Youngs comment about Heats of Gold on his Decade compilation

This song put me in the middle of the road. Traveling there soon became a bore, so I headed for

the ditch. A rougher ride but I saw more interesting people there.

The connection here, I guess, is the desire to give out kids an easy ride. Again, a natural thing

for parents to want. We try to provide an easy ride for our kids from a young age and maybe we

sometimes miss that while its easy, it may not be the most interesting or rewarding experience.

Reply

2. Daddy Files says:

March 21, 2011 at 8:58 am

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I really liked this one Tom.

While I dont agree with doing away with AP courses because they have some real value, I do

think we place too much emphasis on standardized tests.

But your overall point about college being an adventure is the most important.

The vast majority of my true college education was outside of the classroom. I graduated with a

3.3 GPA. Could I have done a little better in class? Yes. Yet I wouldnt go back and change

anything because the parties, my friends, learning to live on my ownthats the stuff I remember

from college and its what made it all worthwhile. Thats not to advocate the Animal House

lifestyle, but I really think its necessary to find a balance.
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Reply

3. Perry Glassersays:

March 21, 2011 at 1:17 pm

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When this article appeared in the Boston Globe I wrote a Comment that I see has received 13

likes

Here is my comment again.

__________________

The intense nature of the competition for college admissions feeds a soul-sucking industry that

feeds off parental and kids insecurities. The alleged much-touted Advanced Placement classes inwhich kids break their backs at most colleges no longer offer advanced placement, just exemption

without credit. Colleges figured out that CEEB was undercutting their revenuesfor the cost of an

exam, a reasonably accomplished student could test out of the cost of 3 credits: no more. This

doesnt stop CEEB from calling their model sylabuses and test system advanced placement. All

it does is create a pressure cooker for high school kids who earn no college credit for doing

college work in high school.

Similarly, there is an industry of tutors and advisors who assist with college entrance essays.

What conscientious parent of means is going to leave any stone unturned as long as people believe

that acceptance at a tony school determines an adult life? Fact is, its nonsense. People change

careers 6 8 times in their adult life, many large employers prefer state university grads over Ivy

League kids because they make better trainees, and if happiness is a measure of success, then no

one in their right mind thinks the most competitive schools are breeding grounds for happy people.

Finally, the warmest places in Hell are reserved for the folks in the new industry that assists high

school students with getting exotic voluntarism somewhere on their records. Fees in the tens of

thousands are collected so 16-year olds can dig latrines in 3rd world countries: why not donate the

airline fare to any number of organizations and show up at the local soup kitchen, geriatric home,

or hospital? Again, the perpetrators of this near fraud trade on parental and student insecurity, the

willfully blind belief that there are college admission officers who are unaware of the scam.

Im with Mr. Matlack: college should be an adventure, and perhaps the best way to prepare for it

is to take a year off, get away from term papers, tests, and all the rest to figure out what will work

for a kid and what will not. A little travel, a lot of employment, and a dash of local volunteer work

will make the choice of a major far more sensible. Its unlikely that college will close in the

interim, and insofar as most college entrants are looking to begin 45-50 years of a careerwhats

the damned hurry?

Reply

4. Natasha says:
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March 21, 2011 at 1:48 pm

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I was under the impression that the SATs were only being used by a handful of states now

anyway? Isnt there some other test thats the new thing now?

At any rate, parents who shell out the big bucks for test prep kill me if the test score is thing

they are most concerned with regarding their childs education, then that child (barring some

innate drive to learn for the sake of learning) is doomed to fall on their face. REAL education is

not about a test score, it is about comprehending and applying the things you have learned in real

way. Do I care if my child does well in school and gets good grades? Sure. But Im much more

concerned with her grasp of the material and how she can generalize it to other situations outside

of the classroom and outside of a test environment. All tests reveal, imo, is how people perform

under pressure and their ability to regurgitate information in a cookie cutter way.

In re to AP classes, I took several in my junior and senior years at high school via Cornell

University and entered college with 15 college credits. I didnt take them because it would look

good on my transcripts, I took them because I realized early on that the first year or two of

college is about building the foundation for learning in re to your major, the real learning, the

actual pursuit of your interests are not able to be pursued until your 3rd and fourth years, so why

not jump the line a little bit? A love of learning should be the goal, and the ability to deliver

quality education rather than test scores should be the instrument through which children receive

that.

And the point of all this, is that Im sick to death of parents pressuring their children to get into a

good school just so they (the parents) can have bragging rights on having a son or daughter at

Harvard Med. Of the 5 people I gradutated high school with that went to Harvard, Yale and

MIT..only ONE of them didnt committ suicide within the first year. ALL of the notes cited

academic and parental pressure. Stressing kids out regarding college when theyre in 5th grade is

selfish, short sighted and unhealthy for the child. The only thing it will really accomplish is

increasing the likelihood that youll bury that child before theyre 20, or that they will be socrippled by anxiety that they cant function outside of academia.

Reply

5. laura Novaksays:

March 21, 2011 at 3:11 pm

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The nice thing about living in California, cliche though it may be, is that we are into the journey.

Its not about the end game, I tell my 15 YO its about living every day and enjoying it. Be a good

person, do good things, but have fun today, I tell him each day as he gets out of the car. That said,

he is taking AP classes, even more than is recommended at his grade level and the admin had to

sign off on it. Why? Because the teachers know hell get bored if hes not challenged more than

the average bear. Hes also in a very rigorous private school and hes one of the happiest kids
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anyone knows. Why? Because we follow his lead, something the pediatrician told me to to when

he was a toddler with an advanced IQ. Will he take SAT prep classes? I dont know. If he wants.

Or not. Will he apply to the UCs you bet. Private colleges? Perhaps as long as they are in an

urban setting which he craves. There are Ivy League legacies in my family, but who cares if its

not the right place for him. We also tell him he can not go to college right away. Take a year, work

on his clothing company that he launched last year. Have fun. Get drunk. Screw up. I really feel

sorry for the kids who are pressured by their parents. Unless they are the kids who are at looseends withOUT added challenges. It all comes out in the wash somehow, someway.

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6. Scottsays:

March 21, 2011 at 4:40 pm

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Ive taught at the college level, worked with college-bound high school students, and worked for a

few years with the College Board/AP exam system. I see all sorts of problems with using

standardized tests as measurements. I am not here to mount a vigorous defense of the AP tests,

SAT, etc.

However, there are some valid reasons to use a reliable standardized test as ONE of several ways

to measure student learning. Again, not that its the BEST way, not that the tests are totally

unbiased, just that it can be enormously useful for a higher education institution to have some

common frame of reference for all of its applicants. Of course everyones son or daughter or other

is unique and special and of course so much of life is unquantifiable, but to have no universal

measurement would be problematic as well.

Think about how diverse the high school experience is for students all over the country, all over

the world, really. Some high schools give out easy As, some dont. When I was in high school,

students in AP classes got a +5% bonus on their grades in AP classes. (The valedictorian had a

102% average. Hard to compete with that if your high school doesnt give extra credit!) Its hard

to verify that an applicant really did work with homeless people or give vaccines in Africa. Its

hard to tell if the applicant really did write that fascinating personal essay. Its important to have

some way to compare apples to apples to apples. If ones offspring was denied admission to a

university and a student with much lower test scores got in, that parent just might call for MORE

focus on standardized testing, not less.

What I want parents and others to question is the assumption that 18-22 is the ideal age foreveryone to be an undergraduate. Realistically it is not. Going directly from high school to college

is not necessarily the best path for every person. Spending a year doing something else is not

taking a year off or dropping out. The nontraditional students I teach tend to be much better

prepared and more focused on learning because they are not there just because of some strange

kind of momentum.

If all those traditional extracurricular experiences/experiments are so important as rites of passage,

then young people can get all those experiences just hanging out around college campuses. That
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would save their parents a lot of wasted money. It would save those young people a lot of stress

over having to decide between doing homework and going on the nude waterslide. (Yes,

autobiographical there.)

Tom Matlacksays:

March 21, 2011 at 8:09 pm

Scott I am totally with you (he says from a hotel room somewhere outside of Philly after

visiting NYU and Barnard today and on the way to Penn and Swathmore tomorrow). I

keep telling my daughter to travel the world, screw college. But she wont take me

seriously. I did love college myself but it had little to do with the academics, a little more

to do with my athletics, and everything to do with my friends and the fun we had

together. I could have done the same pretty much anywhere. And the real life lessons,

when the time came, had little to do with books and a lot more to do with finding myself

in work and life situations that required me to grow up. Those are going to come no

matter what school you go to or when or even if you go. Funny that many of the brightestpeople in this country, specially technology gurus, drop out. They seem to think it is a

waste of time and want to go directly to life.

Reply

Scottsays:

March 22, 2011 at 2:26 am

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Youre right. Im in the minority among my colleagues, but I even think college-

level athletes who have a chance to turn pro early should just go make a lot of

money and then come back later if they want to. (Of course then the university

loses a year or two of highly skilled unpaid labor, loses some advertising

revenue, has to recruit sooner than expected, etc.) Millions of Americans every

year go back to college after taking a break, why cant a student athlete?

I can tell you an even harder sell: start part-time at a community college (where

I work) and transfer later to a 4-year school. Small classes, instructors focusedon teaching, most of them with PhDs in their fields, and at half the price of

even a state university. I feel for you. Cha-ching! $$$

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How Important Are Your Kid’s SATs?

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