How I Met Your Mother - 08x21 - Romeward Bound.lol.English.hi.C.orig.Addic7ed.com - Copy

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1 00:00:02,039 --> 00:00:04,304 NARRATOR: <i>Kids, by the spring of 2013,</i> 2 00:00:04,326 --> 00:00:06,059 <i>Lily and Marshall had life</i> <i>figured out;</i> 3 00:00:06,061 --> 00:00:09,929 <i>Lily was making a name as the</i> <i>art consultant for The Captain,</i> 4 00:00:09,931 --> 00:00:12,665 <i>Marshall was a superstar</i> <i>environmental lawyer</i> 5 00:00:12,667 --> 00:00:16,036 <i>and home life</i> <i>was a well-oiled machine.</i> 6 00:00:16,038 --> 00:00:17,070 <i>And then...</i> 7 00:00:17,072 --> 00:00:18,955 <i>something changed.</i> 8 00:00:18,957 --> 00:00:22,008 (knocking) Captain, you wanted to see me? 9 00:00:22,010 --> 00:00:24,327 Captain? Hello? 10 00:00:24,329 --> 00:00:26,463 Permission to come aboard?

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Transcript of How I Met Your Mother - 08x21 - Romeward Bound.lol.English.hi.C.orig.Addic7ed.com - Copy

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100:00:02,039 --> 00:00:04,304NARRATOR:<i>Kids, by the spring of 2013,</i>

200:00:04,326 --> 00:00:06,059<i>Lily and Marshall had life</i><i>figured out;</i>

300:00:06,061 --> 00:00:09,929<i>Lily was making a name as the</i><i>art consultant for The Captain,</i>

400:00:09,931 --> 00:00:12,665<i>Marshall was a superstar</i><i>environmental lawyer</i>

500:00:12,667 --> 00:00:16,036<i>and home life</i><i>was a well-oiled machine.</i>

600:00:16,038 --> 00:00:17,070<i>And then...</i>

700:00:17,072 --> 00:00:18,955<i>something changed.</i>

800:00:18,957 --> 00:00:22,008(knocking)Captain, you wanted to see me?

900:00:22,010 --> 00:00:24,327Captain? Hello?

1000:00:24,329 --> 00:00:26,463Permission to come aboard?

1100:00:26,465 --> 00:00:28,431Granted.

1200:00:28,433 --> 00:00:31,718Lily, small order of business:I'm moving to Rome

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1300:00:31,720 --> 00:00:33,520and I'd like you to comewith me.

1400:00:33,522 --> 00:00:34,521Carry on.

1500:00:34,523 --> 00:00:36,606What?!That-That-That's amazing,

1600:00:36,608 --> 00:00:40,060but I-I don't know if I canjust uproot my life.

1700:00:40,062 --> 00:00:42,062It's only for a year.Carry on.

1800:00:42,064 --> 00:00:43,530But I'm marriedand we have a baby

1900:00:43,532 --> 00:00:46,366and they just openeda Shake Shack on our block

2000:00:46,368 --> 00:00:47,767and there's never a line!

2100:00:47,769 --> 00:00:49,035I understandit's a big decision.

2200:00:49,037 --> 00:00:50,453Take all the time you need.

2300:00:50,455 --> 00:00:52,872Just let me knowby the end of the day.

24

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00:00:52,874 --> 00:00:55,792Also, I need your advice onpurchasing some luggage.

2500:00:55,794 --> 00:00:57,727What kind?Carry on.

2600:00:58,758 --> 00:01:02,758<font color=#00FF00>♪ How I Met Your Mother 8x21 ♪</font><font color=#00FFFF>Romeward Bound</font>Original Air Date on April 15, 2013

2700:01:02,783 --> 00:01:07,783== sync, corrected by <font color="#00FF00">elderman</font> ==

2800:01:11,342 --> 00:01:13,426Well, this has been fun.I should go.

2900:01:13,428 --> 00:01:15,228But you literally just got here.

3000:01:15,230 --> 00:01:16,779I didn't "literally"just get here.

3100:01:16,781 --> 00:01:18,481I hate when people misusethat word.

3200:01:18,483 --> 00:01:21,267So do I.But you literally just got here.

3300:01:21,269 --> 00:01:23,820Hey, Ted.

3400:01:23,822 --> 00:01:25,805Well, this has been fun.I should go.

3500:01:25,807 --> 00:01:27,940

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Okay, fine, now I'm leaving.

3600:01:27,942 --> 00:01:30,042Why do people goto a bar, anyway?

3700:01:30,044 --> 00:01:32,778To get your drink onand some girl's pants off.

3800:01:32,780 --> 00:01:34,613I can do both at home.

3900:01:35,883 --> 00:01:37,900What are you looking at?

4000:01:37,902 --> 00:01:39,118The girl in the big coat?

4100:01:39,120 --> 00:01:40,619We were inthe same yoga class together.

4200:01:40,621 --> 00:01:44,073You know how sometimes you'llmeet a girl and there'll be

4300:01:44,075 --> 00:01:46,225that one bewitching littledetail that'll make you

4400:01:46,227 --> 00:01:48,294fall in love with her instantly?

4500:01:48,296 --> 00:01:50,463You know, a little freckleon the nose,

4600:01:50,465 --> 00:01:51,647the-the lilt of her laugh,

4700:01:51,649 --> 00:01:53,966

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the way she pronouncesa certain word or phrase?

4800:01:53,968 --> 00:01:55,801Sure, totally.

4900:01:55,803 --> 00:01:57,186Well, in this girl's case,

5000:01:57,188 --> 00:02:00,323the bewitching little detail isthe fact

5100:02:00,325 --> 00:02:03,476that she hasjust a "redonkulous" body.

5200:02:03,478 --> 00:02:04,810Redonkulous?

5300:02:04,812 --> 00:02:06,028Redonkulous!

5400:02:06,030 --> 00:02:08,414I've only heard you use"redonkulous" to describe

5500:02:08,416 --> 00:02:10,383<i>Mission Impossible:</i><i>Ghost Protocol.</i>

5600:02:10,385 --> 00:02:11,751Barney, this girl has

5700:02:11,753 --> 00:02:16,873the <i>Mission Impossible:</i><i>Ghost Protocol</i> of bodies.

5800:02:16,875 --> 00:02:18,708Whoa.

5900:02:18,710 --> 00:02:20,793

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Just wait till she takesthat coat off.

6000:02:20,795 --> 00:02:23,829Oh, wait, sorry, you werejust about to leave, right?

6100:02:23,831 --> 00:02:26,048I mean, I've already paidfor this drink.

6200:02:26,050 --> 00:02:30,303Guys, The Captain just made mea very interesting offer.

6300:02:30,305 --> 00:02:32,855Finally, we get aroundto the real reason he hired you.

6400:02:32,857 --> 00:02:35,391Just promise you film it,and please use a tripod.

6500:02:35,393 --> 00:02:36,526There's nothing artisticabout shaky-cam.

6600:02:36,528 --> 00:02:38,060It just looks sloppy.

6700:02:38,062 --> 00:02:40,696He wants me to moveto Rome for a year

6800:02:40,698 --> 00:02:42,114to buy art for him.

6900:02:42,116 --> 00:02:43,282Whoa! Seriously?

7000:02:43,284 --> 00:02:45,117Is that something you want to do?Are you kidding?

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7100:02:45,119 --> 00:02:46,852I've always wantedto live abroad!

7200:02:46,854 --> 00:02:50,456My summer in Paris, back incollege, was so enlightening:

7300:02:50,458 --> 00:02:53,859the art, the history,the free cheese

7400:02:53,861 --> 00:02:55,495just for wearinga low-cut top.

7500:02:55,497 --> 00:02:57,547Well, how does Marshall feelabout moving?

7600:02:57,549 --> 00:02:59,048I haven't told him yet.

7700:02:59,050 --> 00:03:00,866He really loveshis job here.

7800:03:00,868 --> 00:03:02,585Yeah, but he alsoloves Italy!

7900:03:02,587 --> 00:03:04,837He took a weekof Italian in college,

8000:03:04,839 --> 00:03:07,006and the only reasonhe dropped it was

8100:03:07,008 --> 00:03:09,642'cause he had a conflict...with being not stoned.

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8200:03:09,644 --> 00:03:12,762But he still knowshow to say the phrase,

8300:03:12,764 --> 00:03:15,765"Come on, bro, don't Bogartall the Funyuns."

8400:03:16,533 --> 00:03:18,484All right,I'm gonna call him.

8500:03:20,220 --> 00:03:21,437Hey, baby.

8600:03:21,439 --> 00:03:23,155Hey, baby, I can't talkright now.

8700:03:23,157 --> 00:03:24,690I'm working on a big case. Bye.

8800:03:24,692 --> 00:03:26,108NARRATOR:<i>And that's when Lily realized</i>

8900:03:26,110 --> 00:03:28,444<i>what moving to Rome</i><i>would really mean.</i>

9000:03:28,446 --> 00:03:30,830♪

9100:03:50,968 --> 00:03:52,168(baby crying)

9200:03:56,256 --> 00:03:57,756And before you know it...

9300:03:57,758 --> 00:03:59,308...his life turns

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into an angsty,

9400:03:59,310 --> 00:04:01,394existential black-and-whiteItalian movie.

9500:04:01,396 --> 00:04:02,895Exactly.

9600:04:16,510 --> 00:04:19,245I used to be a lawyer.

9700:04:21,548 --> 00:04:24,884I don't know anymore.

9800:04:37,681 --> 00:04:40,566NARRATOR: <i>I'm sorry. I got to hit</i><i>pause for a second.</i>

9900:04:40,568 --> 00:04:42,518Why is it so hot in here?

10000:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,604Oh, right. While you wereblabbering on and on

10100:04:44,606 --> 00:04:46,138about your whole life crisisor whatever,

10200:04:46,140 --> 00:04:48,807I slipped Carl a hundredto turn the heat up in here.

10300:04:48,809 --> 00:04:49,909What? Why?

10400:04:49,911 --> 00:04:53,479Because she is stillin the big puffy coat!

10500:04:54,948 --> 00:04:55,831

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Barney, what areyou doing?

10600:04:55,833 --> 00:04:57,316I'm trying her out of that coat,

10700:04:57,318 --> 00:04:58,200that's what I'm doing!

10800:04:58,202 --> 00:04:59,452I'm fighting hotnesswith hotness!

10900:04:59,454 --> 00:05:00,653You're engaged.

11000:05:00,655 --> 00:05:03,205Okay, Lily, clearly you'reforgetting something.

11100:05:03,207 --> 00:05:06,425Yes, I'm engagedto the coolest girl on Earth.

11200:05:06,427 --> 00:05:08,260This is about looking,not touching.

11300:05:08,262 --> 00:05:11,213Robin understands there is oneset of balls she can't tie up

11400:05:11,215 --> 00:05:14,216with a necktie and lightly hitwith a Ping-Pong paddle.

11500:05:14,218 --> 00:05:15,635These balls.

11600:05:15,637 --> 00:05:17,169Okay, I'm gonna callThe Captain,

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11700:05:17,171 --> 00:05:19,505get this over with.

11800:05:20,840 --> 00:05:22,975(phone rings)Ahoy.

11900:05:22,977 --> 00:05:23,809Hello, Captain?

12000:05:23,811 --> 00:05:26,011Lily, I hope you're not calling

12100:05:26,013 --> 00:05:27,863to harpoon our big moveto Rome.

12200:05:27,865 --> 00:05:31,867Thank you, but I can't ask myhusband to abandon his career.

12300:05:31,869 --> 00:05:33,852Would you like meto try and convince him?

12400:05:33,854 --> 00:05:35,471I'm very persuasive.

12500:05:35,473 --> 00:05:37,523I'm sorry, the ship has sailed.

12600:05:37,525 --> 00:05:39,141What's that mean?

12700:05:39,143 --> 00:05:42,328Well, you know,"The ship has sailed"?

12800:05:42,330 --> 00:05:44,380That it's over and there'snothing you can do?

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12900:05:44,382 --> 00:05:46,465What a peculiar expression. Hmm.

13000:05:46,467 --> 00:05:48,867Well, thanks for allyour hard work, Lily.

13100:05:48,869 --> 00:05:50,536I've never been good atgood-byes, so...

13200:05:52,005 --> 00:05:53,205Well, that's that.

13300:05:53,207 --> 00:05:55,925My dream job as anart consultant is over.

13400:05:55,927 --> 00:05:57,093And the sad part...

13500:05:57,095 --> 00:05:59,044Okay, I gotta stop youright there, Lily,

13600:05:59,046 --> 00:06:02,231'cause unless I'm mistaken,lock and load gentlemen.

13700:06:04,518 --> 00:06:07,553A scarf?! No, don't put on,take off!

13800:06:07,555 --> 00:06:09,555Okay, you'restarting to drool.

13900:06:09,557 --> 00:06:11,157I'm calling creepy.

14000:06:11,159 --> 00:06:12,074Lily, it's fine.

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14100:06:12,076 --> 00:06:13,559This is purely academic.

14200:06:13,561 --> 00:06:16,195It's-It's like bird-watching.

14300:06:16,197 --> 00:06:19,448And right now, I am watchinga double-breasted-- Robin!

14400:06:22,902 --> 00:06:24,086Wait-- they knoweach other?!

14500:06:24,088 --> 00:06:25,504Whoa, wait--what is going on here?

14600:06:25,506 --> 00:06:27,456Oh, my God,it's happening.

14700:06:27,458 --> 00:06:28,708This is just like I imagined.

14800:06:28,710 --> 00:06:31,761Right in front of Ted,so I can rub it in his face.

14900:06:31,763 --> 00:06:32,911The belt is mine!

15000:06:32,913 --> 00:06:36,132Hi, guys. Barney,you remember Liddy.

15100:06:36,134 --> 00:06:37,916I do?

15200:06:37,918 --> 00:06:40,136Yes! Libby.

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15300:06:40,138 --> 00:06:42,021Liddy. We metwhen Robin hired me.

15400:06:42,023 --> 00:06:42,972Robin hired you?

15500:06:42,974 --> 00:06:44,473Naughty girl. Okay.

15600:06:44,475 --> 00:06:46,475Okay, so how'sthis gonna go down?

15700:06:46,477 --> 00:06:48,894You two just gonna start,and I'll just jump in?

15800:06:48,896 --> 00:06:52,565Uh, she's ourwedding planner.

15900:06:52,567 --> 00:06:55,367Of courseshe's the wedding planner!

16000:06:55,369 --> 00:06:57,203Good to see you again, Libby.

16100:06:57,205 --> 00:06:58,788Liddy.Yeah.

16200:06:58,790 --> 00:07:02,241Hey, I'm Ted.We, uh, we met once before.

16300:07:02,243 --> 00:07:04,460Oh, right, in yoga class.How are you?

164

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00:07:04,462 --> 00:07:07,213She's talking to me.

16500:07:08,131 --> 00:07:09,582Well, I would loveto stay,

16600:07:09,584 --> 00:07:11,050but now thatI'm unemployed,

16700:07:11,052 --> 00:07:13,502I think I'll go surpriseMarshall at work.

16800:07:13,504 --> 00:07:16,639(sighs)Wedding planner.

16900:07:18,091 --> 00:07:20,626NARRATOR: <i>So Lily went</i><i>to visit Marshall at work,</i>

17000:07:20,628 --> 00:07:22,394<i>hoping she wasn't interrupting</i><i>anything important.</i>

17100:07:22,396 --> 00:07:24,313<i>She wasn't.</i>

17200:07:24,315 --> 00:07:28,267Whoa. What is going on?

17300:07:28,269 --> 00:07:30,703Bernard, if we just gluethe cards together...

17400:07:30,705 --> 00:07:33,305Lily!What are you doing here?

17500:07:33,307 --> 00:07:34,490Well, I baked you brownies

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17600:07:34,492 --> 00:07:36,809because I thoughtyou were busy working, but...

17700:07:36,811 --> 00:07:38,611so when you said...

17800:07:38,613 --> 00:07:40,079Lily, hey, I can't really talk.

17900:07:40,081 --> 00:07:42,164I'm working on a big projectright now.

18000:07:42,166 --> 00:07:43,532It's a real house of cards.

18100:07:43,534 --> 00:07:46,585Is this the "house of cards"you were talking about?

18200:07:47,804 --> 00:07:50,005I thought you hadsome big client.

18300:07:50,007 --> 00:07:53,509Oh, sweetheart, we haven't hada client here in months.

18400:07:53,511 --> 00:07:56,545Mmm! Brownies! Hey!

18500:08:01,892 --> 00:08:03,504What is going on?What do you mean

18600:08:03,505 --> 00:08:05,507you haven't hada client in months?

18700:08:05,508 --> 00:08:07,292

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Ever since the Gruber case,

18800:08:07,294 --> 00:08:09,094we lost a lot of business,

18900:08:09,096 --> 00:08:12,414people got laid off...it's just me and Bernard now.

19000:08:12,416 --> 00:08:13,482Where's Cootes?

19100:08:13,484 --> 00:08:15,717He's holed up in a bomb shelterin Colorado,

19200:08:15,719 --> 00:08:18,636waiting for the apocalypse andtending to his herb garden.

19300:08:18,638 --> 00:08:21,806So all those times I've calledyou in the past few months,

19400:08:21,808 --> 00:08:24,943when you talkedabout how busy you were...

19500:08:24,945 --> 00:08:26,528you were just lying to me?

19600:08:26,530 --> 00:08:29,030Technically, I never lied...

19700:08:30,449 --> 00:08:31,700Hey, baby.

19800:08:31,702 --> 00:08:33,335Hey, baby, I can't talkright now.

19900:08:33,337 --> 00:08:35,921

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I'm working on a big case. Bye.

20000:08:39,325 --> 00:08:41,826That <i>is</i> a big case.

20100:08:42,628 --> 00:08:43,595Bad time, Lily.

20200:08:43,597 --> 00:08:45,013I got to focus on the client.

20300:08:45,015 --> 00:08:46,214Gotta go. Bye.

20400:08:47,216 --> 00:08:48,600Where were we?

20500:08:48,602 --> 00:08:50,018Chapter 19.

20600:08:50,020 --> 00:08:53,504I can't talk right now;I got a lot on my plate.

20700:08:53,506 --> 00:08:55,724Well, let's dig in.

20800:08:55,726 --> 00:08:58,109If we start now,we can be done by lunch.

20900:08:59,529 --> 00:09:00,896Now's not a good time, Lil.

21000:09:00,898 --> 00:09:04,316We got a lot of ballsin the air right now.

21100:09:04,318 --> 00:09:07,035Okay, toss methe stapler.

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21200:09:08,187 --> 00:09:09,905Unbelievable.

21300:09:09,907 --> 00:09:13,491Wait-- when you said you wereabout to get reamed...

21400:09:13,493 --> 00:09:15,660Oh, right. That.

21500:09:15,662 --> 00:09:16,878No, sometimes, for fun,

21600:09:16,880 --> 00:09:18,997We throw reams of paperat each other.

21700:09:18,999 --> 00:09:22,083Bernard! Not a good time!

21800:09:22,085 --> 00:09:24,669Read the room!

21900:09:24,671 --> 00:09:26,755I'm sorry, baby, I...

22000:09:26,757 --> 00:09:28,974I didn't want youto see me fail.

22100:09:28,976 --> 00:09:32,844Damn it! Do you realize what youcost us by lying to me?

22200:09:32,846 --> 00:09:34,479The Captain is movingto Rome,

22300:09:34,481 --> 00:09:37,515and he offered to bring me alongas his art consultant,

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22400:09:37,517 --> 00:09:40,185but I turned it down, becauseI thought you loved your job.

22500:09:40,187 --> 00:09:42,070Oh, my gosh.

22600:09:42,072 --> 00:09:43,738If we lived in Italy,

22700:09:43,740 --> 00:09:46,074I could just spend my daystaking care of Marvin

22800:09:46,076 --> 00:09:50,228and trying to make pasta andwatching Italian <i>Price Is Right.</i>

22900:09:50,230 --> 00:09:51,780It sounds like a dream!

23000:09:51,782 --> 00:09:52,747Oh, it's too late.

23100:09:52,749 --> 00:09:54,232No, no. Lily, I'm going

23200:09:54,234 --> 00:09:55,617to The Captain's right now!

23300:09:55,619 --> 00:09:57,168I'm gonna make this right!

23400:09:57,170 --> 00:09:58,253I'm gonna getyou that job!

23500:09:58,255 --> 00:10:00,455No, Marshall...You're getting that job!

236

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00:10:00,457 --> 00:10:02,908You can just make it outto Liddy Gates.

23700:10:02,910 --> 00:10:04,843That's L-I-D-D-Y.

23800:10:04,845 --> 00:10:06,544L-I, two D's...

23900:10:06,546 --> 00:10:07,745double D...

24000:10:07,747 --> 00:10:10,265two D's... -Y.

24100:10:10,267 --> 00:10:12,884Well, here is the finalmenu, as we discussed,

24200:10:12,886 --> 00:10:14,135but let me be clear.

24300:10:14,137 --> 00:10:15,804You're the boss;I'm here to serve you.

24400:10:15,806 --> 00:10:17,806So if there's anythingyou want me to remove,

24500:10:17,808 --> 00:10:19,724just tell me to remove itand it's gone.

24600:10:19,726 --> 00:10:21,443I'll removeanything you want.

24700:10:21,445 --> 00:10:23,061That sounds like a sound policy.Up to you, whatever you feel like.

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24800:10:23,063 --> 00:10:24,229That's a good...That's a good thing to know.

24900:10:24,231 --> 00:10:26,032That's fine, you canremove whatever you want.

25000:10:26,033 --> 00:10:28,433I'm serious, and I won't beoffended; you want it gone,

25100:10:28,435 --> 00:10:30,902I'll take it right off.Is it hot in here?

25200:10:30,904 --> 00:10:32,570It's not cold.You know what?

25300:10:32,572 --> 00:10:34,239It's hot; it's sticky.It's not... It's like

25400:10:34,241 --> 00:10:35,940Bikram, right?

25500:10:35,942 --> 00:10:37,409We're yoga buddies.

25600:10:37,960 --> 00:10:39,961♪ Yoga buddies.

25700:10:39,963 --> 00:10:43,548Well, I'll let youguys read the menu.

25800:10:43,550 --> 00:10:45,717Can you point me to the...GUYS: Coat rack?

25900:10:45,719 --> 00:10:46,918

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...restroom?

26000:10:46,920 --> 00:10:48,803Uh, it's right over there.

26100:10:48,805 --> 00:10:50,972But it's hard to peein a giant coat.

26200:10:52,174 --> 00:10:53,425Okay, what's going on?

26300:10:53,427 --> 00:10:54,843Why are you guys beingso weird?

26400:10:54,845 --> 00:10:58,930Ted says that Liddy hasa ridonkulous body,

26500:10:58,932 --> 00:10:59,665but there's no way ofverifying

26600:10:59,690 --> 00:11:01,517because shewon't take off the coat!

26700:11:01,518 --> 00:11:03,101Is that whyit's so hot in here?

26800:11:03,103 --> 00:11:05,387Did you pay Carlto turn up the heat again?

26900:11:05,389 --> 00:11:07,489Well, yes.

27000:11:07,491 --> 00:11:09,658But I was curious.

271

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00:11:09,660 --> 00:11:11,443I want to get thatcoat on the rack

27200:11:11,445 --> 00:11:13,328so I can see the rackthat's under the coat.

27300:11:13,330 --> 00:11:14,579My God.

27400:11:15,448 --> 00:11:17,615I have been wondering

27500:11:17,617 --> 00:11:19,284the same thing.

27600:11:19,286 --> 00:11:21,202I mean, she never takesthat coat off.

27700:11:21,204 --> 00:11:22,537Whatever she's smugglingunder there

27800:11:22,539 --> 00:11:23,988has to be thermonuclear.

27900:11:23,990 --> 00:11:26,791I bet she has WBDs.

28000:11:27,460 --> 00:11:29,044Weapons of bra destruction.

28100:11:29,578 --> 00:11:30,661Thank you.

28200:11:30,663 --> 00:11:32,047This, this is why

28300:11:32,049 --> 00:11:34,265you're the coolest

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fiancée ever.

28400:11:34,267 --> 00:11:36,267(both moan, laugh)

28500:11:36,269 --> 00:11:40,505So, Ted, when yousay ridonkulous...

28600:11:40,507 --> 00:11:42,190I can't even describe it.

28700:11:42,192 --> 00:11:45,860It'd be like trying to explaina rainbow to a blind person.

28800:11:45,862 --> 00:11:47,512Is she single?

28900:11:47,514 --> 00:11:48,679Why don't you ask her out?

29000:11:48,681 --> 00:11:51,533Actually, I almost didthe first time we met,

29100:11:51,535 --> 00:11:54,953before she took off that coat.

29200:11:54,955 --> 00:11:56,187Sandstorm?

29300:11:56,189 --> 00:11:58,490Dubai? That hoodie?

29400:11:58,492 --> 00:12:00,041I mean, it's ridonkulous.

29500:12:00,043 --> 00:12:02,043Oh, I know.I so want to see it again.

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29600:12:02,045 --> 00:12:03,611Well, hey, I mean,maybe after this,

29700:12:03,613 --> 00:12:04,796if you're not doing anything.

29800:12:04,798 --> 00:12:06,197Totally, and maybe later,

29900:12:06,199 --> 00:12:07,532we could get a bite to eat.

30000:12:07,534 --> 00:12:09,884There's this great placethat's super close.

30100:12:11,804 --> 00:12:12,754No, I...

30200:12:12,756 --> 00:12:14,055No, I... No.

30300:12:14,057 --> 00:12:15,640It was just too much.

30400:12:15,642 --> 00:12:18,760Indiana Jones wouldn't lookat this body.

30500:12:18,762 --> 00:12:22,347This is a bodythat would melt a Nazi's face.

30600:12:22,349 --> 00:12:25,817Oh, man, I wantmy face to melt.

30700:12:25,819 --> 00:12:28,386(sighs) It's too badMarshall isn't here.

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30800:12:28,388 --> 00:12:29,788Why Marshall?

30900:12:29,790 --> 00:12:31,055'Cause he could just say...

31000:12:31,057 --> 00:12:32,123Hey, Liddy,

31100:12:32,125 --> 00:12:33,908why don't you takeoff that coat?

31200:12:33,910 --> 00:12:35,026BARNEY:<i>And Liddy would be all...</i>

31300:12:35,028 --> 00:12:36,611Sure, should I takemy shirt off, too?

31400:12:36,613 --> 00:12:38,029No, the coat'sprobably enough.

31500:12:38,781 --> 00:12:40,081And he'd get away with it.

31600:12:40,083 --> 00:12:41,866You know why? No stink.

31700:12:41,868 --> 00:12:44,953You obviously haven't splita cab with him after basketball.

31800:12:45,671 --> 00:12:46,737No, I don't mean

31900:12:46,739 --> 00:12:47,789"physical stink."

320

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00:12:47,791 --> 00:12:49,073I mean the pheromonal stink

32100:12:49,075 --> 00:12:51,509a guy gives off whenhe's desperate for action

32200:12:51,511 --> 00:12:52,794to a pathetic degree.

32300:12:52,796 --> 00:12:54,412You know, like Ted.

32400:12:54,414 --> 00:12:55,580I have stink?

32500:12:55,582 --> 00:12:57,465Bro, you dipped in stink.

32600:12:57,467 --> 00:12:59,384If Liddy came back tothe table and you said...

32700:12:59,386 --> 00:13:00,468Uh, Liddy,

32800:13:00,470 --> 00:13:02,587why don't you, uh,take off that coat?

32900:13:02,589 --> 00:13:03,754You want me to take my coat off?

33000:13:03,756 --> 00:13:05,390How about instead,I take off your face?

33100:13:05,392 --> 00:13:06,591Ow!

33200:13:06,593 --> 00:13:07,725Ow, oh!

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33300:13:07,727 --> 00:13:08,893TED:<i>Really?</i>

33400:13:08,895 --> 00:13:10,612You had to have her beat me up?

33500:13:10,614 --> 00:13:11,896She's not done, Ted.

33600:13:11,898 --> 00:13:13,548<i>Ghost Protocol</i>

33700:13:13,550 --> 00:13:15,933wasn't that good!

33800:13:15,935 --> 00:13:17,135(screams)

33900:13:17,137 --> 00:13:18,570Marshall, on the other hand,

34000:13:18,572 --> 00:13:20,872girls take onelook and just know

34100:13:20,874 --> 00:13:23,708there's a guy who's metthe girl of his dreams

34200:13:23,710 --> 00:13:25,710and wants to spendthe rest of his life

34300:13:25,712 --> 00:13:27,295with her and only her.

34400:13:27,297 --> 00:13:28,913So why don't you ask her?

345

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00:13:28,915 --> 00:13:30,114Pardon me?

34600:13:30,116 --> 00:13:31,049Aren't you

34700:13:31,051 --> 00:13:32,383a guy who's met

34800:13:32,385 --> 00:13:34,252the girl of his dreamsand wants to spend

34900:13:34,254 --> 00:13:36,954the rest of his life with herand only her?

35000:13:36,956 --> 00:13:39,757Of course, baby.

35100:13:39,759 --> 00:13:42,310So why don't you ask herto take her coat off?

35200:13:44,814 --> 00:13:46,981Um...

35300:13:48,684 --> 00:13:51,603And you never evensaw <i>Ghost Protocol.</i>

35400:13:52,605 --> 00:13:54,272So, the big day'scoming up.

35500:13:54,274 --> 00:13:56,357How are you guys feeling?

35600:13:56,359 --> 00:13:57,692I talked to the caterer,

35700:13:57,694 --> 00:13:59,744

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and the mini lamb shanksare gonna be amazing.

35800:13:59,746 --> 00:14:00,778Oh, by the way,

35900:14:00,780 --> 00:14:02,363I talked to the florist,and the violets

36000:14:02,365 --> 00:14:04,282are gonna be gorgeous.BARNEY: <i>Okay, Barney. You can do this.</i>

36100:14:04,284 --> 00:14:05,834<i>Just say it. Say it.</i>

36200:14:05,836 --> 00:14:07,252...little ones and big ones...

36300:14:07,254 --> 00:14:08,503<i>Say it.</i>

36400:14:08,505 --> 00:14:11,789Hey, Liddy, do you wantto take off your coat?

36500:14:16,595 --> 00:14:18,329Sure.(whimpers)

36600:14:18,331 --> 00:14:20,849<i>I did it! I proved to myself</i><i>and everyone else</i>

36700:14:20,851 --> 00:14:23,268<i>that I have no desire</i><i>to be with any other woman.</i>

36800:14:23,270 --> 00:14:25,854<i>I am completely immune</i><i>to every other...</i>

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36900:14:28,107 --> 00:14:30,141<i>Holy crap!</i>

37000:14:30,143 --> 00:14:33,194(both panting)

37100:14:33,196 --> 00:14:34,312And it was, indeed,

37200:14:34,314 --> 00:14:35,446ridonkulous.

37300:14:35,448 --> 00:14:38,149And we got to see it,all thanks

37400:14:38,151 --> 00:14:39,567to this lovely ladyright here.

37500:14:39,569 --> 00:14:42,704Robin, thanks to you,I can now walk up to any girl

37600:14:42,706 --> 00:14:45,123and say whatever creepy,disgusting thing I want

37700:14:45,125 --> 00:14:46,457and totally get away with it.

37800:14:46,459 --> 00:14:47,525Mm.Man!

37900:14:47,527 --> 00:14:49,827I think I'm gonnalike being married.

38000:14:49,829 --> 00:14:51,663(phone rings)

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38100:14:51,665 --> 00:14:52,697Hello?

38200:14:53,449 --> 00:14:54,799Ahoy.

38300:14:54,801 --> 00:14:56,200Ahoy, Lily.

38400:14:56,202 --> 00:14:58,086I just had a long talkwith your husband.

38500:14:58,088 --> 00:15:00,922He convinced me to offer youthat job in Rome again.

38600:15:00,924 --> 00:15:02,473How do you respond?

38700:15:02,475 --> 00:15:07,262Thanks,but the answer is still no.

38800:15:12,943 --> 00:15:16,005Lily, why the hell did youturn that down again.

38900:15:16,030 --> 00:15:19,278Because I 'd have to geta new passport photo.

39000:15:19,294 --> 00:15:21,874And I'd miss outon New York in August.

39100:15:21,899 --> 00:15:24,301Unless they openthe Shake Shop in a box.

39200:15:24,326 --> 00:15:26,650Lily, what's

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the real reason?

39300:15:27,879 --> 00:15:29,757What if we moved to Rome...

39400:15:36,143 --> 00:15:38,004(laughing)

39500:15:38,221 --> 00:15:39,618What's so funny?

39600:15:39,643 --> 00:15:40,781I'm uh sorry.

39700:15:40,830 --> 00:15:44,537I can't believe you paid a10 million euro this painting.

39800:15:44,562 --> 00:15:45,462Why not?

39900:15:45,487 --> 00:15:46,855This is not even a painting.

40000:15:47,095 --> 00:15:49,491I spin my plate, it's gonnafill a blank canvas.

40100:15:50,749 --> 00:15:51,981It's like a toilet.

40200:15:52,536 --> 00:15:54,467It just make you look uh

40300:15:54,828 --> 00:15:56,182stupida.

40400:15:56,600 --> 00:15:58,169Lily, you're fired.What?

405

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00:15:58,194 --> 00:16:00,608But no. I-I...it's stilla great painting.

40600:16:00,633 --> 00:16:03,448I like what it says aboutthe structure in society

40700:16:03,473 --> 00:16:04,954and the changingworlds of women.

40800:16:04,979 --> 00:16:06,878(speaks Italian)

40900:16:16,117 --> 00:16:18,816I used to bean art consultant.

41000:16:27,280 --> 00:16:29,874Hey baby. It's time forMarvin's, uh, bottle.

41100:16:31,193 --> 00:16:33,527And it's all becauseI screwed up and through away

41200:16:33,552 --> 00:16:35,723a perfectly comfortablelife here in New York.

41300:16:35,748 --> 00:16:37,753Lily, you're not goingto screw up.

41400:16:37,802 --> 00:16:38,952You know what, just please,

41500:16:38,954 --> 00:16:40,269just leave it alone.

41600:16:40,271 --> 00:16:41,454Besides,

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41700:16:41,456 --> 00:16:42,706deep down, I don't think

41800:16:42,708 --> 00:16:44,549Marshall's even excitedabout Italy.

41900:16:44,574 --> 00:16:46,785NARRATOR: <i>At that very moment</i><i>in little Italy.</i>

42000:16:56,337 --> 00:16:58,555(phone chirps)

42100:17:03,277 --> 00:17:05,895<i>Marron!</i>

42200:17:05,897 --> 00:17:07,814I can't wait formy wedding day.

42300:17:07,816 --> 00:17:09,683I mean, there is no way

42400:17:09,685 --> 00:17:12,652that Liddy is gonna be wearingthat coat, right?

42500:17:12,654 --> 00:17:13,737Right?

42600:17:13,739 --> 00:17:15,655"Barney Stinson, do you hope

42700:17:15,657 --> 00:17:17,857she wears something slinkyand backless?"

42800:17:17,859 --> 00:17:20,160"I do."

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42900:17:21,278 --> 00:17:24,581Okay, can I just say somethingas your best man?

43000:17:25,249 --> 00:17:26,533Be careful.

43100:17:26,535 --> 00:17:27,817What do you mean?

43200:17:27,819 --> 00:17:29,669You just... you haven'tbeen acting like a guy

43300:17:29,671 --> 00:17:31,988who's about to get married,and I know you think it's okay

43400:17:31,990 --> 00:17:33,840because Robin's so cool,but I'm telling you,

43500:17:33,842 --> 00:17:36,492she's not as coolas you think she is.

43600:17:36,494 --> 00:17:39,112Oh, I see.

43700:17:39,114 --> 00:17:41,131And you'd know this

43800:17:41,133 --> 00:17:43,332because you know Robinbetter than I do.

43900:17:43,334 --> 00:17:46,836You know what she appreciatesbetter than her own fiancé.

44000:17:46,838 --> 00:17:47,837I'm just saying,

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44100:17:47,839 --> 00:17:49,355if I was getting marriedin three weeks...

44200:17:49,357 --> 00:17:51,024But you're not getting marriedin three weeks, Ted.

44300:17:51,026 --> 00:17:52,308I am.

44400:17:52,310 --> 00:17:54,561Robin's marrying me, not you.

44500:17:56,397 --> 00:17:58,148You're right.

44600:17:58,150 --> 00:17:59,783Not my place.

44700:17:59,785 --> 00:18:01,818Why don't I get the next round?

44800:18:07,074 --> 00:18:10,994So... how many times are yougonna say no to your dream job?

44900:18:10,996 --> 00:18:12,929I'm just tryingto plan my day.

45000:18:12,931 --> 00:18:15,131I'm a scaredy-cat, okay?

45100:18:15,133 --> 00:18:16,499I want to be the type

45200:18:16,501 --> 00:18:18,534of person thatjust charges fearlessly

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45300:18:18,536 --> 00:18:20,170into the unknown,

45400:18:20,172 --> 00:18:22,472but I came backtwo weeks early from Paris

45500:18:22,474 --> 00:18:24,007because I was lonely.

45600:18:24,009 --> 00:18:25,058I went to San Francisco,

45700:18:25,060 --> 00:18:29,212and I was never more depressedin my life.

45800:18:30,314 --> 00:18:32,232I'm small town, Marshall.

45900:18:32,234 --> 00:18:35,218I'm a hick from Brooklynwho's terrified of living

46000:18:35,220 --> 00:18:38,855more than ten subway stopsfrom where I was born.

46100:18:38,857 --> 00:18:42,075Okay, Lily, if I can movefrom St. Cloud, Minnesota,

46200:18:42,077 --> 00:18:43,693to New York City,

46300:18:43,695 --> 00:18:45,728then you can move to Rome.

46400:18:45,730 --> 00:18:48,498We know nothing about Italy.

465

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00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:49,749We have no friends there.

46600:18:49,751 --> 00:18:51,400We don't speak the language.

46700:18:55,539 --> 00:18:58,091Okay, so you knowthat one sentence.

46800:18:58,093 --> 00:18:59,575Can you say anything else?

46900:19:06,133 --> 00:19:07,416That-that was the same sentence.

47000:19:07,418 --> 00:19:09,752You just changed the inflection.

47100:19:49,810 --> 00:19:51,995I love you, too.

47200:19:51,997 --> 00:19:54,297All right.

47300:19:54,299 --> 00:19:55,431We're going to Italy.

47400:19:55,433 --> 00:19:57,317<i>Si!</i>

47500:19:58,435 --> 00:20:00,303You may not know this yet,but, um,

47600:20:00,305 --> 00:20:02,822I've already done some shopping.

47700:20:13,221 --> 00:20:15,256Welcome home.

478

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00:20:17,042 --> 00:20:21,467Oh... You are so cool,

47900:20:24,210 --> 00:20:25,363but not for long.

48000:20:25,364 --> 00:20:30,363== sync, corrected by <font color="#00FF00">elderman</font> ==