How do we express love?

Question # 1

What kinds of love exist?

Agápe

Agape is selfless love - the highest

of the 4 types of love in the Bible.

http://christianity.about.com/od/glossary/a/Agape.htm

Agape puts the beloved first and

sacrifices pride, self interest and possessions for the sake of that beloved.

This is the love that God has for us which inspired him to sacrifice his son and for his son to obey and sacrifice himself.

http://fromerostoagape.wordpress.com/2012/08/09/eros-romantic-love-and-agape-unconditional-love/

Agape is love because of what it does, not because of how it feels.

ExampleA mother who loves a sick baby will stay up all night long caring for it, which is not something she wants to do, but is a true act of agape love.

http://www.truthortradition.com/articles/four-kinds-of-love

The point is that agape love is not simply an impulse generated from feelings. Rather, agape love is an

exercise of the will, a deliberate choice.

This is why God can command us to love our enemies (Matt. 5:44; Exod. 23:1-5). He is not commanding us to “have a good feeling” for our enemies, but to act in a loving way toward them.

http://www.truthortradition.com/articles/four-kinds-of-love

Compassionate love grows slowly over the years as lovers apply their attachment and caregiving systems to each other, and as they begin to rely upon, care for, and trust each other.

http://johnstepper.com/2015/05/30/happiness-the-two-kinds-of-love/

Philía

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philiahttp://www.truthortradition.com/articles/four-kinds-of-love

Philia refers to a strong friendship.

Storgē

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Storge

Storge is love between family members, friends, pets and owners, or colleagues.

A company is stronger

if it is bound by loverather than by fear.

Herb Kelleher

https://twitter.com/#!/wallybock/status/171581124953374720http://articles.philly.com/2011-06-26/business/29705315_1_robots-online-poker-deli-owner

https://twitter.com/Leadershipfreak/status/552699441698701313

People are more capable of mental novelty when thinking on behalf of others than for themselves.

What progress are you and your colleagues making on mental novelty?

http://jennifersertl.com/2015/02/13/empathy-passion-and-progress-an-existential-view-of-valentines-day/

Éros

Eros is a passionate and intense love that arouses romantic feelings.

Eros is an emotional and sexual love.

http://typesoflove.org/four-types-of-love-greek-style/

Eros focuses more on the self than on the other person.

http://typesoflove.org/four-types-of-love-greek-style/

Question # 2

What love languages do we speak and understand?

Love language A: Kind words.

You cooked an excellent meal. I will do the dishes after dinner. You are great at doing the work you do. You look great in that jacket.

http://www.amazon.de/The-Five-Love-Languages-ebook/dp/B0032CVAQQ/ chapter 4.

Love language B: Time spent with partner

Have dinner with your partner. Go for a walk with your partner. Listen to your partner without doing anything else. Ask your partner what he/she wants to do with you.

Then make a plan and do that.

http://www.amazon.de/The-Five-Love-Languages-ebook/dp/B0032CVAQQ/ chapter 5.

Love language C: Gifts.

Chocolate. Flowers. A smooth stone that looks like a heart. A postcard with a greeting.

http://www.amazon.de/The-Five-Love-Languages-ebook/dp/B0032CVAQQ/ chapter 6.

Love language D. Acts of service.

Cook a meal. Set the table. Buy groceries. Wash the dishes. Wash clothes. Vacuum floors. Clean the bathroom. Get fruit and vegetables in the garden. Make the beds.

http://www.amazon.de/The-Five-Love-Languages-ebook/dp/B0032CVAQQ/ chapter 7.

Love language E. Physical touch.

Give your partner a hug. Hold your partner’s hands. Rub your partner’s back. Put your hand on your partner’s shoulder.

http://www.amazon.de/The-Five-Love-Languages-ebook/dp/B0032CVAQQ/ chapter 8.

http://www.imagebase.net/People/qqSpain-393

4 questions to help discover your love language

Question # 1In what way do you regularly express love to your partner?

Question # 2What have you most often requested of your partner?

Question # 3What does your partner do or not do that hurts you most deeply?

Question # 4On a scale from 1 to 10, how full is your love tank?What do you need mostly from your partner in order to get your love tank filled up?

http://www.amazon.de/The-Five-Love-Languages-ebook/dp/B0032CVAQQ/ location 1890.

Question # 3

What values are related to love?

http://blogs.hbr.org/haque/2012/02/why_love_matters_more_and_less.html

Love is investing in, sacrificing for, and caring about.

Love usually includes a very high level of mutual respect; the partners are each other's number 1 fan. The partners desire the very best for one another, including the very best of themselves. As a result, real love usually includes a high level of honesty, loyalty, trust, emotional support, selfless sharing and friendship.

The opposite of love is not hate; it is not caring.

http://www.livescience.com/12854-love-thee-experts-count-ways.html

Caring for other people. Caring about other people. Serving people. Doing something for others. Helping people. Sharing ideas with others. Being selfless. Giving to others. Being generous. Involving people.

Being a part of something. Belonging to something. Treating people equally. Being fair to other people. Supporting a cause. Being honest. Being humble. Thanking others. Loving others. Being compassionate. Being empathic.

In the early 19th century, when love became the main motive for courtship, love was redefined to make it compatible with the unequal roles and options of husbands and wives. Men loved women because they were nurturing and emotional in ways males were discouraged from becoming or even understanding. Women loved men because they were powerful and knowledgeable in ways females were not allowed to be.

Each sex supposedly had skills and character traits that the other sex did not possess and could not gain access to except through love. So part of the excitement of romantic love was how foreign one’s partner was. In today’s world, such feelings are increasingly irrelevant to what makes love last.

http://www.livescience.com/12854-love-thee-experts-count-ways.html

http://youtu.be/e-THUogCS1w

People who have a strong sense of love and belonging,

believe they are worthy of

love and belonging.

http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html, minute 8.

Brene Brown

You can find love, if you search within yourself.

Mariah Careyhttp://youtu.be/0IA3ZvCkRkQ

Further inspiration

http://www.slideshare.net/frankcalberg/questions-to-discover-your-valueshttp://blog.ted.com/2012/03/01/places-we-dont-want-to-go-sherry-turkle-at-ted2012http://www.quora.com/How-can-I-know-if-someone-loves-me-1https://youtu.be/fK2IJ43ppd0http://youtu.be/VGrcets0E6Ihttps://youtu.be/e-THUogCS1w