Hot Spot Issue #321
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Transcript of Hot Spot Issue #321
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LOUNGES & CLUBS
Sey Hey & Marys icIsland Breeze 07Frozen Paradise icInferno Lounge 05Raymonds Players Club 10Mutuals 03The Mini Bar bcNikkis / Club Rozay 08Nikkis / Club Rozay 28
TRANSPORTATIONBobby Albright 22
JJs Tire World 08JJ &Ys Car Wash 08Gina Smith AutoSource 14Supra Pre-Owned 04
ENTERTAINMENTDr. I.M. Smartt Lottery 31HOT SPOT Maze 36SUDOKU 36SUDOKU Solution 39DJ Postman 22DJ Dirty Redd 35Lady Scorpio 37
Esther Simmons 27
SERVICESMind of Creations 24Restore Your Photos 25Ellington Bartending 27One Time Pest Control 22Family Reunion Books 34
CLOTHING & FASHIONHOT SPOT Stuff 37St Paul Clothing 34
EVENTSRochester Trip 25HOT SPOT Grad & Dad 34Post 500 Football Trip 13HOT SPOT 13th Anniversary 11HOT SPOT Anniversary Party 12Ron Gilliards Birthday 12Down Divas - Blue Carpet 17Kirk Floyd Tours Football Trip 29
FAITHGods Eagle of Strength 32Trevon Stand 32
RETAILShawn Loury Washer Dryers 27Got Balloons 06
FOOD & DININGGood 4 Real 10Wilson Catering 28Pats Catering 35Your Taste Catering 27
Paradise Caf 33
HEALTH & BEAUTYMedicaid Advantage 04
LEGAL & FINANCIALMAX$ TAXS 06Medicare Upgrade 33A Brighter Day Bail Bond 09
TECHNOLOGYRestore Your Photos 25
HOT SPOT Online 15, 16, 26
AROUND TOWNAround TownAround TownAround Town ExtraAround Town ExtraMore Around TownMore Around Town
FEATURESHOT SPOT RepsHOT SPOT Subscribe 31One Mans Opinion 02HOT SPOT Schedule 05HOT SPOT Rates 38LaughsBeach High Yearbooks 05HOT SPOT New Mini 35
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One Mans Opinion
Part IOK, its been HOT and DRY, its time for some rain. Its beenabout three weeks since we had any appreciable rain around here.Normally by this time a have a nice puddle in my back yard that Icall Lake Ronald. This year zilch. I even went to the trouble ofobtaining extra buckets to capture the rain water for my garden anddrew up plans for a nice double-decker rain barrel system complete with spigots, diverters andsoaker hoses. Im glad I didnt build it yet. I guess I have to get out and do my Rain Dance.
Yes, I have a Rain Dance. It was either taught to me by my great-great grandfathers secondcousins best friends barbers uncle OR I made it up, Im not sure which. Anyway, I have used itmany times with positive results over the past few years. So if youre like me and youre ready forsome real rain, I mean frog strangling rain, enough rain to make Noah nervous, enough rain toconfuse a fish; then meet me Friday at 7:00 am in Forsyth Park on the South end. Get plenty ofrest the night before and wear some sturdy shoes, because there is a lot of shouting and stompinginvolved. Dont worry, therell be NO running. Im allergic to running. One more thing, if Im not there,feel free to start without me.
Just, One Mans Opinion.Live Long and Prosper
Ronald A. Gilliard, Publisher
Thanks Savannah, for 12+ Years of the HOT SPOT!
Part of Our HarvestYes, this is a cucumber INSIDE a water bottle.
I didnt cut the bottle. Ask me how I did it.
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Laughs
School Papers
A compilation of statements from actual grade school papers:
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote
in Hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and the climateof the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red sea, where they
made unleavened bread which is bread made without any in-
gredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten
commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcu-
pines.
4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without
them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had Myths. A
Myth is a female moth.
5. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another
man of that name.
6. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giv-
ing people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an
overdose of wedlock. After his death his career suffered a dra-
matic decline.
7. Eventually the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls
people Romans because they never stayed in one place for
long.
8. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields ofGaul. The ides of March murdered him because they thought
he was going to be made King. Dying, he gasped out: 'Tee hee,
Brutus.'
9. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Ber-
nard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should
be hanged twice for the same offense.
10. Another story was William Tell who shot an arrow through
an apple while standing on his sons head.
Laughs
The American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal
Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman
docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna.
The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his
fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican re-
plied only a little while.
The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catchmore fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his fam-
ily's immediate needs. The American then asked, but what do you
do with the rest of your time?
The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with
my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the
village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my
amigos, I have a full and busy life, senor."
The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help
you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds
buy a bigger boat with the proceeds from the bigger boat you
could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet offishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you
would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own
cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribu-
tion. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village
and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where
you will run your expanding enterprise."
The Mexican fisherman asked, "But senor, how long will this all
take?" To which the American replied, "15-20 years." But what
then, senor?
The American laughed and said that's the best part. When the
time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your companystock to the public and become very rich, you would make mil-
lions.
Millions, senor? Then what?
The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small
coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little,
play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the
village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your
guitar with your amigos."
Website: Facebook.com Ronald Gilliard
Website: Facebook.com The Hot Spot Magazine
Keep in Touch and Find Out Whats
Going On in the Clubs and at Events,
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Website: TheHotSpotMagazine.com
Youtube: SavHotSpot
Watch Our Videos from HOT SPOT TV
On the HOT SPOT Channel
Laughs
I want to be a bear.
If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do
nothing but sleep for six months. I could
deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat
yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.
If you're a bear, you birth your children
(who are the size of walnuts) while you are
sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute,
cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you
mean business. You swat anyone who both-
ers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line,
you swat them too. I could deal with that.
If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to
wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you
will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
Yup... I want to be a bear!
Laughs
School Papers, Part II
11. Queen Elizabeth was the 'Virgin Queen.' As a Queen she
was a great success. When she exposed herself before her troops
they all shouted 'hurrah.'
12. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg
invented removable type and the Bible. Another important in-
vention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a
historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started
smoking.
13. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shake-
speare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birth-
day. He never made much money and is famous only because of
his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all
in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of he-
roic couplet.
14. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel
Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was
John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died
and he wrote Paradise Regained.
15. One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the Englishput tacks in their tea. Also the colonists would send their parcels
through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the
war and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the origi-
nal 13 states formed the contented congress. Thomas Jefferson
and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the declaration of
independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two
cats backwards and declared, 'A horse divided against itself can-
not stand.' Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
16. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and
had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an
old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750
to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the worldand so was Handel. Handel was half German and Half Italian
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Laughs
Mary Simpson was almost crazy withher three kids.
She complained to her best friend,
"They're driving me nuts. Such pests,
they give me no rest and I'm half-way
to the nut hatch."
"What you need is a playpen to sepa-
rate the kids from yourself," her friend
said.
So Mary bought a playpen.
A few days later, her friend called to
ask how things were going.
"Superb! I can't believe it," Mary said.
"I get in that playpen with a good bookand the kids don't bother me one bit!"
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Laughs
A young lady visited a computer dating ser-
vice and requested, "I'm looking for a spouse.
Can you please help me to find a suitable
one?"
The matchmaker said, "What exactly are you
looking for?"
"Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking,
polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable,
good at singing and dancing. Willing to ac-
company me the whole day at home during
my leisure hour if I don't go out. Be able to
tell me interesting stories when I need a com-
panion for conversation and be silent when Iwant to rest."
The matchmaker entered the information into
the computer and, in a matter of moments,
handed the results to the woman.
The results read, "Buy a television."
A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed aneternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the dis-tance, figuring the wind direction and speed, drivinghis partner nuts.
Finally his exasperated partner says, "What the heckis taking so long? Hit the darned ball!"
The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching mefrom the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfectshot."
"Give me a break! You don't stand a snowball'schance of hitting her from here."
Laughs
A young man finds the woman of his
dreams and asks her to marry him. He
tells his mother he wants her to meet
his fiance, but he wants to make a bit
of a game out of it. He says he'll bringthe girl over with two other women and
see if his mother can guess which is
the one he wants to marry. His mother
agrees to the game.
That night, he shows up at his
mother's house with three beautiful
young ladies. They all sit down on thecouch, and everyone has a wonderful
evening talking and getting to know
each other.
At the end of the evening, the young
man asks his mother, 'OK, Mom,
which one is the woman I want to
marry?'
Without any hesitation at all, his
mother replies, 'The one in the mid-
dle.'
The young man is astounded. 'How in
the world did you figure it out?'
'Easy,' she says. 'I don't like her.'
Website: Scribd.com Keyword: The Hot Spot
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Winner of WSOKs 2010 - Best Gospel CD
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Phone: (912) 920-8875
Cell: (912) 228-1815
Fax: (866) 416-0074
Email: [email protected]
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SUDOKU
The rules of Sudoku are simple. Enter
digits from 1 to 9 into the
blank spaces. Every row must contain
one of each digit. So must
every column, as must every 3x3
square. Each Sudoku has a
unique solution that can be reached
logically without guessing.
The Solution is at the end of the Book.
No Peeking.
HOT SPOT MAZE
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Our publication schedule is the 2nd and 4th Wednesdays
of every month. The deadline for inclusion is the Fridaybefore the 2nd & 4th Wed. Our advertising rates are below.
Size Color Black & WhiteCovers (Front or Back) $200.00 N/AFull Page $140.00 $70.00Half Page $75.00 $40.00Quarter Page $45.00 $30.00Business Card $25.00 N/A
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Times are Tight. Your Advertising Budget is Being Squeezed. You Know You
Must Advertise to Succeed. Make the Most of Your Advertising Dollars.
Advertise in the HOT SPOTThe Leader in Affordable Advertising
We Will Get Your Message Out.
Phone: 912-484-1143
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Email: [email protected]
Email: [email protected]
Website: www.thehotspotmagazine.com
Being in Business and not Advertising is like Blinking your Eyes in a Dark Room.
You know what Youre doing, but Nobody else does.
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Sudoku Solution
Laughs
Did I Read That Sign Right?
In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER...... PLEASE USE FLOOR
BELOW
In a Laundromat:AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE
REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE
LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP
LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK
OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY
THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON
THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASH-
ING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR
WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BAR-
GAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOES-
N'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE
1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSSTHE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL
CHARGES.
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK
HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T
WORK)
Laughs
A farmer was driving along the road
with a load of fertilizer. A child playing
in front of his house saw him and called,
"What are you hauling?"
"Fertilizer," the farmer replied.
"What are you going to do with it?"
asked the child.
"Put it on strawberries," answered the
farmer.
"You ought to live here," the child ad-
vised him.
"We put sugar and cream on them."
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1998-2011
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