HOST FAMILY

Handbook

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Table of Contents

Welcome to Cultural Care Au Pair 4

1. Your Cultural Care Support Team and Materials 6

Your Cultural Care support team 7Your Cultural Care support materials 9

2. Program Rules and Regulations 12

General program regulations 13 Childcare schedule 13Weekly stipend payment 14Au pair vacations 14Family vacations 15Education requirement 16Host family events 16Au pair monthly meetings 16

3. Host Family Responsibilities 18

Treat your au pair as a family member 20Provide support for your au pair 20Invest in cultural exchange 20Commit to good communication practices 20

4. Au Pair Responsibilities 22

Education requirement 23Au pair monthly meetings 23Additional au pair responsibilities 23

5. Communicating with your Au Pair 24

Cultural differences 25Weekly meetings 25Communication best practices 25The first few days 28Setting realistic expectations 29Taking care of logistical details 31When issues arise 33

U.S. Department of State Regulations 35

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Enjoying a successful year with your au pair starts with these very important steps:

Relying on your Cultural Care support team and materials for help

Adhering to the program rules and U.S. Department of State regulations

Recognizing your responsibilities as a host family

Knowing what you can expect from your au pair

Maintaining good communication throughout your year

This handbook outlines each of these steps and shares helpful advice along the way, so you can enjoy the best year possible with your au pair.

Welcome to Cultural Care Au PairThank you for choosing Cultural Care Au Pair, and congratulations on selecting your family’s au pair! Welcoming an au pair into your home is an exciting time for everyone. Soon, they will become another extended family member. As is always the case when incorporating someone new to the family, there will be an initial adjustment period. Your relationship will need nurturing and attention throughout the year. We’ve created this handbook to help guide you every step of the way as you navigate the year together.

We wish your family and your au pair a great year!

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C U LT U R A L CA R E T I P :

Connect with your LCC

YOUR CULTURAL CARE SUPPORT TEAM AND MATERIALS

Your Cultural Care support teamYour support team during the year includes your Local Childcare Consultant (LCC), Account Manager, and Customer Relations Manager. Each has a different role in helping you navigate the year with your au pair.

Your Local Childcare Consultant (LCC)

Your LCC is your local program expert and go-to resource for information and advice. They will act as a liaison between you, your au pair, and the Cultural Care team, in addition to providing support on a regular basis. You can expect your LCC to: • Interview your family in your home before your au pair arrives• Call to check in within 48 hours of your au pair’s arrival• Conduct an initial orientation with your au pair and family within two weeks of your

au pair’s arrival • Hold monthly meetings for your au pair • Reach out to you on a monthly basis to check how things are going• Provide advice on local educational opportunities for your au pair• Host au pair/family events twice per year—you are required to attend at least one• Give support and advice as needed• Help find a resolution should a conflict arise

Welcome call and orientation

One of the most sensitive times during your year is right after your au pair arrives. For this reason, your LCC will call to welcome your au pair shortly after they arrive, and will arrange an orientation meeting with your family and au pair within your first two weeks together. At the orientation meeting, your LCC will have an opportunity to meet your au pair and make sure the first few days have gone well. Practical information will also be discussed, including initial adjustment issues, if there are any.

Monthly communication

Your LCC will continue to contact you once a month while you are hosting your au pair. These are informal check-ins to provide advice, program updates, and an opportunity to ask any questions you may have. These contacts are a U.S. Department of State regulation, as well as a proven way for Cultural Care Au Pair to help support you and your au pair, and we ask that you be responsive to your LCC’s outreach.

1. Your Cultural Care Support Team and MaterialsAs a Cultural Care host family, you have a support team readily available to help at any time during your year. Cultural Care Au Pair also provides many support materials that will help you maintain good communication during the year and are resources for program information and best practices.

It’s important to take the time to talk with your LCC every month. Not only is it a U.S. Department of State regulation, the better

your LCC gets to know you, the more they can help your family have a successful year.

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C U LT U R A L CA R E T I P :

Your Host Family Account

Your Account Manager

Your Account Manager is ready to answer all program-related questions during your year, big or small. Contact your Account Manager for information related to:

• Program fee payments• Your Host Family Account • U.S. Department of State regulations• Travel questions related to your au pair• Au pair insurance• General help and support

You can reach an Account Manager at 1-800-333-6056, Monday through Friday from 8:00am to 7:30pm EST, and Saturday from 9:00am to 3:00pm EST.

Your Customer Relations Manager

Your Customer Relations Manager acts as an additional layer of support during the year. If your LCC or your Account Manager is unable to answer your questions or if you and your au pair are experiencing difficulties, your Customer Relations Manager may step in to assist.

Your Cultural Care support materials In addition to your support team, Cultural Care Au Pair provides a number of online and printed resources for you to use during the year. These tools are designed to help answer your questions and foster good communication with your au pair during the year.

Host Family Account

You will find a wealth of great program information in your online Host Family Account. Click the pink “HELP” button to access a searchable directory of useful information and tips as well as important forms and documents.

“Take a close look at all the information Cultural Care provides you and try to connect with other families who have gone through the process for some best practices. Be patient. The beginning can be challenging, so the more patient you can be the better. Treat your au pair as you’d want someone to treat your daughter or son if they were living in another country. Be kind and considerate to them. Treat them as you would family—that means worrying about their safety, setting boundaries and being consistent with them. Let them know you appreciate them, as they are young and often need positive reinforcement.”

Host family advice

— Trish, Cultural Care host mom in Massachusetts

YOUR CULTURAL CARE SUPPORT TEAM AND MATERIALS

Your Host Family Account is your go-to reference for information about au pair taxes,

au pair insurance, au pair travel, and much more. To login, visit: culturalcare.com/login.

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Communication Journal

The Communication Journal is a tool for you to use with your au pair in order to keep track of the daily/weekly/monthly schedule, log your au pair’s on- and off-duty time, write down important appointments and to track and confirm weekly stipend payments. We also suggest using the journal to give detailed instructions for activities to do with the children and the child-related household help you expect.

House Rules

Our customizable template for House Rules is available for download from your Host Family Account and will help you outline the household rules you expect your au pair to follow while living with your family. This template encourages you to clarify household rules regarding:

• Childcare and household responsibilities• Visitors and guests • Car use• Television• Phone• Internet and computer use• Use of appliances

We recommend customizing your House Rules before your au pair arrives and printing and reviewing it with them soon after they join your family.

For sample House Rules completed by experienced host families and tips on determining your own household rules, visit “HELP” in your Host Family Account.

“Having a template for house rules is a great tool to use. It lets the au pair read and re-read the children’s schedule and what’s expected of them. I never would have thought to even talk to my au pair about things like how to run the dishwasher and our policy on car use and overnight guests. But the House Ruleshelped us put together a thorough list of all of the things our au pair needed to know."

Host family advice

— Kari, Cultural Care host mom in Oregon

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Because your au pair lives with you, it may be difficult for them to feel officially “off-duty.” It is important for your au pair to know that you are

sensitive to this dynamic and recognize when their official duties are over. Keep in mind that any time you would expect your au pair to take

over responsibility for the children, whether or not you’re present, is considered part of their 45-hour limit, including sleeping hours where

they are the only responsible adult in the home.

PROGRAM REGULATIONS

General program regulationsAll designated au pair organizations and program participants are required to follow specific regulations issued by the U.S. Department of State (a copy of these regulations is included at the end of this handbook).

The U.S. Department of State and Cultural Care Au Pair require host families to:

• Limit the number of hours au pairs provide childcare to 45 hours per week and no more than 10 hours per day

• Provide at least the minimum stipend payment to au pairs each week* • Provide two weeks of paid vacation each year• Contribute up to $500 towards their au pair’s education requirement**• Attend an orientation meeting and at least one family day conference during the year• Ensure their au pairs have 1.5 consecutive days off each week and at least one full

weekend off each month

*The U.S. Department of State currently requires that au pairs receive at least $195.75/week. This minimum stipend amount is subject to increase in the event of statutory or regulatory changes, including any increases in the federal minimum wage. Au pairs and host families are free to discuss and agree upon a higher amount, but cannot do so in exchange for the au pair exceeding the regulatory limits on working hours or performing duties beyond childcare-related tasks.

**Subject to change due to any updates to the regulations by the U.S. Department of State.

Childcare scheduleAccording to the U.S. Department of State regulations, your au pair is allowed to provide no more than 45 hours of childcare per week, with a maximum of 10 hours in any one day.

• This 45-hour limit includes the direct care of your children and all childcare-related tasks (i.e. children's laundry and room tidying). The children’s sleeping time is counted as on-duty time if your au pair is alone with the children.

• Cultural Care Au Pair requires au pairs to have at least 1.5 consecutive days off each week. This means that your au pair should be off-duty from mid-day through the full next day, or vice versa.

• A half-day should not exceed 5 hours on-duty for your au pair.• Au pairs are also entitled to one full weekend (Friday night to Monday morning) off per

month.

Your LCC will confirm each month that these regulations are being followed with both you and your au pair. As far as holidays go, it is your responsibility to initiate a discussion to mutually determine which holidays your au pair will be on- and off-duty as there are no designated holidays.

2. Program Rules and RegulationsAll host families and au pairs are required to follow program regulations as dictated by the U.S. Department of State and Cultural Care Au Pair. These rules are in place to protect both au pairs and host families, and to ensure we can continue to offer this unique opportunity for families and young people from around the world for many years to come.

C U LT U R A L CA R E T I P :

On-Duty vs. Off-Duty

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vacation and they will be considered on-duty, you are expected to provide them with their own room and pay for all expenses, in addition to the payment of at least the minimum weekly stipend. If they are on-duty, this time cannot count towards your au pair’s vacation time.

If you invite your au pair to join your family on vacation as part of their vacation time (meaning they will not be responsible for providing childcare), your au pair can be asked to pay their own expenses. We encourage you to make this very clear from the beginning and give your au pair an idea of how much money they will need for the trip. If your au pair declines your invitation, please try not to feel offended. Most au pairs have a limited budget and prefer to spend their two weeks of vacation with friends.

If your au pair remains at your home while you are away, you must make sure that they have adequate food for the duration of your time. Remember this is their home too during their year. We encourage you to discuss expectations regarding visitors and other household rules while you are away.

You will find a copy of the U.S. Department of State regulations on page 35 of this handbook.

Weekly stipend paymentThe weekly stipend you give your au pair must be at least the minimum amount required by the U.S. State Department regulations, which is currently $195.75 using a formula tied to the federal minimum wage. Any changes to this regulatory formula or the federal minimum wage may increase the minimum stipend amount. All program participants must adhere to all regulatory changes even if they occur during an existing program year.

The federal regulations set a minimum amount for the weekly au pair stipend. You and your au pair are free to discuss and agree to compensation higher than that amount. You cannot, however, offer additional compensation to have your au pair exceed the regulatory limits on working hours (10hrs/day; 45hrs/week) or perform duties beyond childcare-related tasks.

You must pay your au pair the agreed upon stipend amount of at least the regulatory minimum on a weekly basis. You cannot pay your au pair bi-weekly or monthly. We recommend that you document each payment using your Communication Journal or through some other receipt system so that you have a record that reflects those payments should a question or dispute arise. You cannot withhold or pro-rate your au pair's minimum weekly stipend for any reason, including lost time due to illness, outstanding telephone bills, a car accident, or other damages. Your LCC will confirm separately with you and your au pair each month that your au pair received at least the minimum weekly stipend amount every single week.

Au pair vacationsAccording to U.S. Department of State regulations, your au pair is entitled to two weeks (14 days) of paid vacation during the year. While granting single vacation days might suit your family, we suggest that au pairs take vacation one week at a time so they can travel within the U.S. and take a meaningful break from their duties. (The two weeks of vacation do not have to be taken consecutively.) If at any time you welcome a new au pair during the year, you will be responsible for accommodating their remaining vacation time, including paying at least the minimum weekly stipend that your new au pair is due for that time.

Although it is up to you and your au pair to plan vacation time, Cultural Care Au Pair suggests au pairs take the first week of vacation within the first 6 months and then take the second week during the remaining 6 months. Vacations should always be mutually convenient, and it is never too early to begin discussing potential vacation dates for your au pair.

Family vacationsSome families love to take their au pairs on vacations with them; others want private time to themselves. Whether or not you invite your au pair to accompany you while you travel is your choice. However, if you require your au pair to accompany you on a family

The program does not designate specific holidays for your au pair including international holidays or religious observances. Therefore, you should discuss

any holidays where you will expect your au pair to be on-duty in advance. Will you need them to care for the kids while you prepare Thanksgiving dinner for

your extended family? Will they be expected to be on-duty for Memorial Day, even though it’s a widely recognized American holiday? Make your holiday

childcare coverage needs clear so that you both know what to expect.

C U LT U R A L CA R E T I P :

Holidays

When au pairs travel outside of the U.S. during their au pair year, there are strict guidelines they must follow in order to ensure they can re-enter the country. Make sure you call 1-800-333-6056 for more information.

C U LT U R A L CA R E T I P :

Au Pair Travel

PROGRAM REGULATIONS

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We suggest you help your au pair look into classes at nearby schools soon after they arrive, because it can take time to find a class that is offered at

an accredited institution and meets at a convenient time. Au pairs who want to extend their year must show proof that they have completed

their education requirement by the end of their 11th month in the U.S. We recommend all au pairs register for their 6 credits by their 6th month, to

avoid missing the opportunity to extend their stay.

Education requirementThe U.S. Department of State requires all au pairs to fulfill an education requirement of 6 semester hours (or their equivalent of academic credit) in a formal classroom setting at an accredited, post-secondary institution while they are in the U.S. Please note that online or hybrid classes do not qualify. We recommend that au pairs register for their classes prior to their 6th month. As a host family, you are responsible for paying up to $500 for enrollment and related educational expenses. This amount is subject to change per the Department of State regulations. Should you transition to a different au pair during the year and your first au pair has already used $500 for courses, you are still responsible for paying the balance needed—up to $500—in educational expenses for your new au pair. You are also responsible for providing transportation to and from classes or covering transportation costs if your au pair drives themself or takes public transportation.

If you are considering extending with your au pair, it is important that their education requirement is completed as soon as possible to help ensure that deadlines to extend are met.

Host family events Your LCC will organize at least two host family events during your program year, and the U.S. Department of State regulations require host families to attend at least one of them. These are usually casual, fun occasions that give families a chance to meet other host parents and au pairs and spend some time with their LCC.

Au pair monthly meetings Cultural Care au pairs are required to attend monthly meetings in their community hosted by their LCCs. These meetings occur so au pairs can connect and form friendships with other au pairs, and to meet with their LCCs face-to-face. It is your responsibility to ensure your au pair attends these meetings by driving them, allowing them to drive themself or paying for them to travel by public transportation.

C U LT U R A L CA R E T I P :

Au Pair Classes

“Communicate your needs to your au pair! If expectations are clear, then the chances of disappointment or a bad match are significantly less likely. Remember that your au pair is someone’s child—treat them with the same love, compassion and respect you would want someone to give your own child embarking on such a huge adventure outside their own home country.”

Host family advice

— Carrie, Cultural Care host mom in Maryland

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3. Host Family ResponsibilitiesIn addition to following the U.S. Department of State regulations, host families also have a responsibility to embrace the “spirit of the au pair program." We expect our host families to honor the true meaning of this unique federal cultural exchange program by welcoming their au pair as a family member, supporting them during the year, investing in cultural exchange and committing to good communication practices. “You are welcoming a young person into your home—the more

you give, the more you’ll get! The more transparent and open you are with your expectations and needs and the more you care about theirs, the better the relationship will be. They need support and a warm welcome. If you take the time to make their early months with you warm, full of fun, and show an eagerness to teach them about your culture and language, they’ll start to find friends and need less support from you. The appreciation for your early efforts will appear in wonderful ways.”

Host family advice

— Ellen, Cultural Care host mom in Massachusetts

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Commit to good communication practicesOne of the most important things to remember during your year is that communication is key. The more you communicate with your au pair, the more successful your year will be. Ways we expect our host families to communicate include:

• Communicate the weekly schedule in detail and as far in advance as possible• Hold weekly “touch base” meetings with your au pair• Let your au pair know when you are happy or unhappy with something• Recognize that your au pair may be nervous to express their own concerns, especially

in the beginning—if you sense something is wrong, encourage them to speak up• Talk with your LCC about problems that can’t be resolved and any updates to your

family dynamic

Provide support for your au pairThere will be days when your au pair feels homesick or needs reassurance while adjusting to immersion in a new language and culture, especially in the beginning. While your LCC and Cultural Care staff can step in to help, you are the first line of support for your au pair. Taking the time to listen to them and offer encouragement is part of being a great host family. It’s also important to be adaptable, and allow your au pair to make mistakes and grow.

Invest in cultural exchangeCaring for your children is your au pair’s priority, but it is also important for them to enjoy the benefits of an exchange experience. Experiencing life in the U.S. is one of the biggest reasons au pairs apply to the program, and they look to you for ways to learn about American culture. For this reason, you should be prepared to: • Help them adjust to a new language and culture• Encourage them to seek new experiences• Include them in your own American traditions and holidays• Invite them to share their customs and traditions with your family

Treat your au pair as a family memberWhen you decide to host an au pair, you are not hiring an employee, but rather deciding to invite a new member into your family. This means providing a safe and comfortable home enviroment for your au pair. Asking how your au pair’s day was, being thoughtful on holidays and their birthday, and including them in your family meals and excursions will go a long way toward making them feel welcome. Think about how you would want someone to treat your child if they were living with a host family abroad, and treat your au pair accordingly. Your au pair may not always join you for every activity—and that’s okay. Knowing you care enough to offer them those opportunities is what’s most important.

“We include Sophie in our holidays and we celebrate them together. We all went trick-or-treating as a family for Halloween in a group costume and had an absolute blast. Introducing Sophie to Thanksgiving was fun, and we’re looking forward to celebrating Christmas as well. Sophie is already in the spirit and helped us decorate with the kids!”

Host family advice

— Tabby, Cultural Care host mom in Maryland

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Education requirementThe U.S. Department of State requires all au pairs to fulfill an education requirement of 6 semester hours (or their equivalent of academic credit) in a formal classroom setting at an accredited, post-secondary institution while they are in the U.S.

Au pair monthly meetingsYour LCC is responsible for organizing monthly meetings for the au pairs in your area in an effort to introduce them to American culture, familiarize them with their community, and help them to make friends. Monthly meetings are mandatory for au pairs and those who miss more than two meetings are no longer considered in good standing. Attendance is documented by your LCC, and this information is shared with the Cultural Care office team.

Additional au pair responsibilitiesIn addition to following all of the U.S. Department of State regulations, Cultural Care Au Pair expects our au pairs to adhere to the "spirit of the program" by: • Being goodwill ambassadors for their countries• Being flexible, adaptable, reliable and positive• Trying their best at all times• Accepting and showing respect for their host families and their cultures• Participating in host family and community activities• Being open and honest with their host families about problems• Talking with their LCCs about any problems that cannot

be resolved with their host families

4. Au Pair ResponsibilitiesAu pairs also have responsibilities to fulfill during their program year. Some of these responsibilities are required by the U.S. Department of State, and some are implied by the “spirit of the program." Au pairs are informed of these responsibilities during the screening process in their home countries and also at the Au Pair Training School, but it’s also helpful for you to familiarize yourself with this information, so you know what you can expect from your au pair.

Many host families and au pairs hope to extend their time together for a second term, both to continue to build their

relationship and to allow for continuity of childcare. As a bonus, you'll enjoy special reduced extension program pricing. We

recommend au pairs start their 6 semester hours of academic courses by their 6th month on the program, to ensure they meet

the education requirement deadline for the extension application.

C U LT U R A L CA R E T I P :

Prepare Early to Extend

24 | | 25COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR AU PAIR

Cultural differencesAs a host family, it’s important to remember that cultural differences are natural and should be respected. Something that may seem silly or strange to you might be customary in your au pair’s home country. Before casting judgment, it’s critical to try to understand why your au pair may behave in ways that are different from what you might expect.

Once your au pair arrives, we suggest having an open discussion and asking questions about each other’s countries and cultures. Use this as an opportunity to get to know each other. Seeing the humor and delighting in our differences makes us seem all the more similar.

To learn more about culture shock and how to help your au pair overcome it, visit “HELP” in your Host Family Account.

Weekly meetingsWe recommend you set aside a specific time each week to discuss your au pair’s schedule and responsibilities and any issues that come up during the week. Informal meetings seem to work best to discuss all issues that come up during the week, like parents’ work schedules, children’s activities, conflicts, successes, etc. In addition to your weekly meetings, have as many spontaneous discussions as needed to keep things running smoothly. If you want your au pair to change the way they are performing a particular task, or if you would like to add a new responsibility, be sure to let them know directly. Do not ignore problems—if they are not addressed, they will only get worse. Give your au pair the opportunity to do better because they want to succeed as much as you do.

Communication best practicesWhen speaking to your au pair about their duties or when giving feedback, we suggest following some ground rules of good communication. Two of the most effective tools you can use to facilitate good communication with your au pair are assertive directing and effective listening.

Assertive directing Assertive directing means being open and straightforward about your expectations, family routines, childcare practices, au pair responsibilities, work schedule, household rules, etc. To practice assertive directing, sit down to discuss responsibilities, household rules, work schedule and other relevant items after giving your au pair a few days to settle in.

5. Communicating with your Au PairThe most important thing you can do as a host family to ensure a great year with your au pair is to communicate openly. Because your au pair comes from a different country and English may not be their native language, communication is even more important. Recognizing cultural differences, setting up regular times to talk, and using effective communication skills are all essential to a great experience for you and your au pair.

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• Be direct about your expectations.• Openly discuss your childcare philosophy, types of activities you want your au pair

to do with your children, household rules that apply to the children, issues around food/snacks, desired discipline techniques, etc.

• Use the House Rules to outline their childcare and household responsibilities in full since it is helpful for au pairs to refer to written directions.

• Explain things carefully and thoroughly—not all at once, but probably more than once.

Effective listening Effective listening means listening to your au pair with the intent to understand their feelings and needs from their perspective, not your own. Most often we listen not with the intent to understand, but rather with the intent to respond. We are either busy preparing to speak or we are already talking over the other person. If you want to interact effectively with anyone—your au pair, spouse, child, co-worker, supervisor, neighbor, friend—you must first understand them. The two main components of effective listening are empathic listening and using reflective feeling statements.

Empathic listening This level of communication occurs when we are willing to walk in our au pair’s shoes and see the world from their perspective, rather than react with our own emotions, judgments, stories, suggestions, etc. This is crucial when we are dealing with cultural and language differences, and it accomplishes three primary things:

• Reduces emotion to a more manageable level• Allows parties to get to and through the problem-solving process• Builds a relationship based on trust, credibility, and integrity

When you have a discussion with your au pair, it’s also important to pay attention to the tone of what is being said. Sometimes your au pair might have difficulty vocalizing their true feelings, but if you listen to the tone of their voice and take note of facial expressions and body language, you may pick up on those emotions. Another helpful tip for establishing good communication is to review your au pair’s Neurocolor or DiSC personality profile accessible through your Host Family Account. This profile will also help you see a situation from their perspective and give insight as to what communication style they will respond to best.

COMMUNICATING WITH YOUR AU PAIR

Using reflective feeling statements It is a good idea to use statements to reflect back to your au pair what you think they are feeling before you offer any assistance. By accurately reflecting your au pair’s feelings, you assist in diffusing emotions so they can open up to new possibilities. Only after you both understand the issue at hand is it appropriate to offer your assistance.

For tips on resolving conflict, including our conflict resolution model, visit “HELP” in your Host Family Account.

Assertive directing

“I expect you to take the babies for a walk every day unless it’s raining, snowing or below 32 °F outside. It’s important to me that they get fresh air as much as possible.”

Empathic listening

“I understand that you feel overwhelmed right now. I would feel the same way if I was in your shoes. How can I help you feel better?”

“You’ve said that nothing’s wrong, but I’m sensing by the way you’re talking to me that you feel frustrated by something. Can I help?”

Reflective feeling statements

“It sounds like you feel sad that the children aren’t bonding with you just yet. Is that true?”

“What I’m hearing you say is that you feel isolated and would like the chance to make more friends. Am I right?”

C U LT U R A L CA R E T I P :

Communication Examples

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The first few daysWelcoming a new au pair is an exciting time, but it may leave you feeling nervous as well, especially if you are a first-time host parent. The first few days and weeks after your au pair arrives is a critical period. It’s important to invest time to orient your au pair, set expectations and take care of some logistical details. If you do this, take things slowly and don’t expect perfection. You will lay the groundwork for a great relationship right from the beginning.

Orienting your au pair The first few days with your new au pair are an opportunity to introduce them to your family, your home and your community, to train them on their responsibilities and to help them feel comfortable and welcome in their new surroundings. In fact, to ensure the best possible adjustment for your au pair, the U.S. Department of State requires that either a parent or another responsible adult be at home with them for the first three days after their arrival.

Every host family has their own philosophy about how to schedule the first few days after their au pair arrives. However, there are a few suggestions that seem to be universal among our experienced host families, including:

1. Don’t plan anything too ambitious. Keep in mind your au pair will likely be nervous, overwhelmed and still jet lagged. Help your au pair adjust to your home and routine by easing them in slowly.

2. Be welcoming, but don’t treat your au pair like a guest. Remember, you are welcoming your au pair as a part of your family, and they can be asked to pitch in and help from the start. In fact, they may welcome being given small tasks right away so they feel useful. Make sure to point out when and where they can help themselves. This concept is foreign to many other cultures, so be prepared to repeat the invitation a few times.

3. Help them establish a routine right away. Give your au pair a sense of purpose by establishing a routine as soon as possible.

4. Don’t be afraid to be very specific. All au pairs will need to be trained on your specific needs and you shouldn’t assume yours will know how you want things done right away. It’s helpful to write down important instructions and details so they can refer to them later.

5. Start with clear rules. It’s a good practice to enforce stricter policies in the beginning (with regards to car use, etc.) and loosen up rules as you build trust and progress through the year. Host parents will find it’s much harder to do the opposite.

6. Don’t expect things to be perfect. No one is perfect, including your au pair! Try to stay focused on what is most important to you and let the small stuff go at first. This is an adjustment period, so don’t worry if things don’t seem perfect right away.

Setting realistic expectations When your au pair first arrives it’s important to be mindful of your own expectations. Are they fair and realistic? Consider the following points to make sure you are paving the way for a successful experience as you move through your year together.

1. You might expect that your au pair will have no problems communicating and expressing themselves. Even au pairs with excellent English skills may have difficulty expressing their thoughts and feelings at first. They are sometimes unfamiliar with colloquialisms, rapid speech, and dialects. They will be nervous to do or say the wrong thing. Speak slowly, be patient, listen carefully, and take the time to clarify words or phrases your au pair might not understand. The way Americans talk about themselves or about a problem differs greatly from the way in which people from other cultures approach the subject.

2. You might expect that your au pair will automatically treat your children the way you want them to. If you are unhappy with the way they handle a situation, talk to them about it in an open, non-judgmental way. In a calm and non-accusatory manner, explain what you observed and then ask your au pair about their reaction. Then listen carefully. Perhaps if you understand the reasoning behind your au pair’s action, you will gain a new and valuable perspective. If you’d like situations handled in a different way, let them know specifically and explain the reasons—your au pair should be open to learning from you.

3. You might expect that your children will instantly like and respect your au pair. While children generally accept adults readily and are usually pleased with the attention, give them time to accept and trust your au pair. Your au pair is a new adult in your home and will need your support to establish credibility as an authority figure.

4. You might expect that your au pair will know how to do simple household tasks with little or no explanation. Tasks such as turning on the shower or using the washing machine might be very different from what your au pair is accustomed to at home. Explain procedures clearly and write down important points.

5. You might be a little anxious about having a young adult living in your home and you might not know what to expect. While your au pair might spend over half of their day caring for your children, time off will most likely be spent developing friendships and learning about American culture. Do not be surprised if your au pair leaves the house at 8pm on a weekend night to meet friends and doesn’t come home until 2am. This is natural for young adults, including Americans, between the ages of 18 and 26. Remember, your au pair is an adult. If you have concerns about their activities or habits, discuss those concerns in a caring manner. Your responsibility is not to parent your au pair, so as long as your au pair’s personal life is not interfering with their ability to care for your children, you may want to let it be. If you feel your au pair’s behavior is interfering with your children’s well-being or your family in any way, discuss the situation with them and involve your LCC.

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Taking care of logistical detailsWhen your au pair arrives, it is a good idea to help them obtain a Social Security number (SSN), a state-issued driver’s license, and a bank account as quickly as possible. You will need to add them to your car insurance policy if they will drive your car during the year. You should also be ready with recommendations for nearby classes. We recommend that you look into the steps necessary to complete these tasks before your au pair arrives in the U.S. Your LCC should be able to advise you on local considerations, so don’t hesitate to ask if you need help during this process.

1. Social Security number Most au pairs apply for a non-working SSN while in the U.S. A Social Security number will help your au pair in applying for a state driver’s license, opening a bank account, and for tax purposes. Visit “HELP” in your Host Family Account for more details on how to help your au pair get a SSN.

2. State-issued driver’s license We recommend that your au pair obtain a state license if they will be driving on- or off-duty. Most au pairs will arrive with an international driving permit, but some states require au pairs to obtain a state license too. A state driver’s license is required in all states for au pair drivers who remain in the U.S. for over a year, so if there is a possibility you will extend your year with them, this step is necessary.

3. A bank account We also advise host families to help their au pairs set up a bank account, allowing them to manage money more effectively and allowing families to set up a regular payment schedule. Automatically depositing the stipend each week will also provide a record of payments, if needed.

4. Car insurance If you require your au pair to drive as part of their childcare duties or will allow them to drive your vehicle while off-duty, they must be insured on your policy as someone who lives in your household full-time. Because insurance companies have different requirements, we advise families to look into this as soon as they select their au pair.

5. Educational options in your community Au pairs are required to complete 6 semester hours (or their equivalent in academic credit) at an accredited, post-secondary institution during their year in the U.S. Before they arrrive, it’s helpful to start thinking about what schools your au pair might consider. Your LCC will also have suggestions as to how your au pair can fulfill this requirement.

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“Invest in your au pair early. Take the time to include her in everything, all the time. Show her around, take her on a tour, bring her to all family events. The more comfortable she feels with your family and your home, the more confident she will feel to go off exploring on her own!”

Host family advice

— Katharine, Cultural Care host mom in Massachusetts

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When issues ariseNo matter how well-matched a host family and au pair may be, there will always be moments of conflict. As with any close relationship, this is normal. Most of the time, host families and au pairs are able to resolve their own issues through communication and problem-solving, and they often find that their relationship grows stronger as a result. However, there are situations that may require involvement from your LCC and/or your Customer Relations Manager.

Solving problems on your own

Most of the time, you can resolve issues with your au pair on your own through good communication and resetting expectations. Miscommunication and misunderstandings between family members happen all the time, and they are resolved all the time. When you invest the same effort to work out your differences with your au pair as you would any other family member, your relationship will be stronger for it.

Involving your LCC and/or Customer Relations Manager

If you and your au pair encounter an issue you cannot resolve on your own, your first call should always be to your LCC. Your LCC is a resource for both you and your au pair, and LCCs have the resources, skills and experience to provide information and support when misunderstandings or conflicts occur. Your Customer Relations Manager is also committed to working with you and your LCC to determine a solution that is sensitive to both the needs and well-being of your family and au pair.

Transition Most of the time, issues can be resolved. However, in the event that your issues are irreconcilable, your family and au pair may decide to end the relationship and initiate a transition. Before you begin a transition, it is Cultural Care’s policy that your LCC will come to your home to help talk through issues in the event of a host family-au pair conflict. To help resolve them, your LCC will: • Initiate a support meeting during which they will serve as an objective mediator • Help outline guidelines for a follow-up, two-week trial period• Offer advice as you decide to work towards resolution or initiate a transition

Should you decide to end the relationship with your current au pair, your LCC will schedule an in-person exit interview during which they will explain host family and au pair obligations. All parties involved are required to be in attendance at the exit interview. If you are continuing with the program, Cultural Care Au Pair will help you find a better match for your family. We will also work to find a new placement for your au pair, if appropriate.

For more details on Cultural Care’s mediation and transition policies, visit “HELP” in your Host Family Account.

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“Our advice would be to focus on open communication. You should remember that your au pair is more than just a babysitter, but a young person with dreams and a deep appreciation for the United States. And you are more than just a host family, you are an ambassador too!”

Host family advice

— Stacey, Cultural Care host mom in Maine

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U.S. Department of State Regulations(a) Introduction. This section governs Department of State-designated exchange visitor programs under which foreign nationals are afforded the opportunity to live with an American host family and participate directly in the home life of the host family. All au pair participants provide child care services to the host family and attend a U.S. post-secondary educational institution. Au pair participants provide up to forty-five hours of child care services per week and pursue not less than six semester hours of academic credit or its equivalent during their year of program participation. Au pairs participating in the EduCare program provide up to thirty hours of child care services per week and pursue not less than twelve semester hours of academic credit or its equivalent during their year of program participation. (b) Program designation. The Department of State may, in its sole discretion, designate bona fide programs satisfying the objectives set forth in paragraph (a) of this section. Such designation shall be for a period of two years and may be revoked by the Department of State for good cause. (c) Program eligibility. Sponsors designated by the Department of State to conduct an au pair exchange program shall; (1) Limit the participation of foreign nationals in such

programs to not more than one year; (2) Limit the number of hours an EduCare au pair

participant is obligated to provide child care services to not more than 10 hours per day or more than 30 hours per week and limit the number of hours all other au pair participants are obligated to provide child care services to not more than 10 hours per day or more than 45 hours per week;

(3) Require that EduCare au pair participants register and attend classes offered by an accredited U.S. post-secondary institution for not less than twelve semester hours of academic credit or its equivalent and that all other au pair participants register and attend classes offered by an accredited U.S. post-secondary institution for not less than six semester hours of academic credit or its equivalent;

(4) Require that all officers, employees, agents, and volunteers acting on their behalf are adequately trained and supervised;

(5) Require that the au pair participant is placed with a host family within one hour’s driving time of the home of the local organizational representative authorized to act on the sponsor’s behalf in both routine and emergency matters arising from the au pair’s participation in their exchange program;

(6) Require that each local organizational representative

maintain a record of all personal monthly contacts (or more frequently as required) with each au pair and host family for which he or she is responsible and issues or problems discussed; (7) Require that all local organizational representatives

contact au pair participants and host families twice monthly for the first two months following a placement other than the initial placement for which the au pair entered the United States.

(8) Require that local organizational representatives not devoting their full time and attention to their program obligations are responsible for no more than fifteen au pairs and host families; and

(9) Require that each local organizational representative is provided adequate support services by a regional organizational representative.

(d) Au pair selection. In addition to satisfying the requirements of §62.10(a), sponsors shall ensure that all participants in a designated au pair exchange program: (1) Are between the ages of 18 and 26; (2) Are a secondary school graduate, or equivalent; (3) Are proficient in spoken English; (4) Are capable of fully participating in the program as

evidenced by the satisfactory completion of a physical; (5) Have been personally interviewed, in English, by an

organizational representative who shall prepare a report of the interview which shall be provided to the host family; and

(6) Have successfully passed a background investigation that includes verification of school, three, non-family related personal and employment references, a criminal background check or its recognized equivalent and a personality profile. Such personality profile will be based upon a psychometric test designed to measure differences in characteristics among applicants against those characteristics considered most important to successfully participate in the au pair program.

(e) Au pair placement. Sponsors shall secure, prior to the au pair’s departure from the home country, a host family placement for each participant. Sponsors shall not: (1) Place an au pair with a family unless the family has

specifically agreed that a parent or other responsible adult will remain in the home for the first three days following the au pair’s arrival;

(2) Place an au pair with a family having a child aged less than three months unless a parent or other responsible adult is present in the home;

(3) Place an au pair with a host family having children under the age of two, unless the au pair has at least 200 hours of documented infant child care experience. An au pair participating in the EduCare program shall not be placed with a family having pre-school children in the home unless alternative full-time arrangements for the supervision of such pre-school children are in place;

(4) Place an au pair with a host family having a special needs child, as so identified by the host family, unless the au pair has specifically identified his or her prior experience, skills, or training in the care of special needs children and the host family has reviewed and acknowledged in writing the au pair’s prior experience, skills, or training so identified;

(5) Place an au pair with a host family unless a written

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“Set your expectations and rules from the start. Listen carefully to your LCC’s recommendations, and involve them early if any problems arise. We have found most “problems” are just misunderstandings, and are easily remedied. The time you spend initially helping your au pair to acclimate is invaluable. Slow down at first, and give your au pair time to adjust to you, your kids, and your home life. In our family, we have all been enriched by our experiences with the au pairs.”

Host family advice

— Kathy, Cultural Care host mom in Pennsylvania

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agreement between the au pair and the host family detailing the au pair’s obligation to provide child care has been signed by both the au pair and the host family prior to the au pair’s departure from his or her home country. Such agreement shall clearly state whether the au pair is an EduCare program participant or not. Such agreement shall limit the obligation to provide child care services to not more than 10 hours per day or more than 45 hours per week unless the au pair is an EduCare participant. Such agreement shall limit the obligation of an EduCare participant to provide child care service to not more than 10 hours per day or more than 30 hours per week.

(6) Place the au pair with a family who cannot provide the au pair with a suitable private bedroom; and

(7) Place an au pair with a host family unless the host family has interviewed the au pair by telephone prior to the au pair’s departure from his or her home country.

(f) Au pair orientation. In addition to the orientation requirements set forth at §62.10, all sponsors shall provide au pairs, prior to their departure from the home country, with the following information: (1) A copy of all operating procedures, rules, and

regulations, including a grievance process, which govern the au pair’s participation in the exchange program;

(2) A detailed profile of the family and community in which the au pair will be placed;

(3) A detailed profile of the educational institutions in the community where the au pair will be placed, including the financial cost of attendance at these institutions;

(4) A detailed summary of travel arrangements; and (5) A copy of the Department of State’s written statement

and brochure regarding the au pair program. (g) Au pair training. Sponsors shall provide the au pair participant with child development and child safety instruction, as follows: (1) Prior to placement with the host family, the au pair

participant shall receive not less than eight hours of child safety instruction no less than 4 of which shall be infant-related; and

(2) Prior to placement with the American host family, the au pair participant shall receive not less than twenty-four hours of child development instruction of which no less than 4 shall be devoted to specific training for children under the age of two.

(h) Host family selection. Sponsors shall adequately screen all potential host families and at a minimum shall: (1) Require that the host parents are U.S. citizens or legal

permanent residents; (2) Require that host parents are fluent in spoken English; (3) Require that all adult family members resident in

the home have been personally interviewed by an organizational representative;

(4) Require that host parents and other adults living full-time in the household have successfully passed a background investigation including employment and personal character references;

(5) Require that the host family have adequate financial resources to undertake all hosting obligations;

(6) Provide a written detailed summary of the exchange program and the parameters of their and the au pair’s duties, participation, and obligations; and

(7) Provide the host family with the prospective au pair participant’s complete application, including all references.

(i) Host family orientation. In addition to the requirements set forth at §62.10 sponsors shall: (1) Inform all host families of the philosophy, rules, and

regulations governing the sponsor’s exchange program and provide all families with a copy of the Department of State’s written statement and brochure regarding the au pair program;

(2) Provide all selected host families with a complete copy of Department of State-promulgated Exchange Visitor Program regulations, including the supplemental information thereto;

(3) Advise all selected host families of their obligation to attend at least one family day conference to be sponsored by the au pair organization during the course of the placement year. Host family attendance at such a gathering is a condition of program participation and failure to attend will be grounds for possible termination of their continued or future program participation; and

(4) Require that the organization’s local counselor responsible for the au pair placement contacts the host family and au pair within forth-eight hours of the au pair’s arrival and meets, in person, with the host family and au pair within two weeks of the au pair’s arrival at the host family home.

(j) Wages and hours. Sponsors shall require that au pair participants: (1) Are compensated at a weekly rate based upon 45 hours

of child care services per week and paid in conformance with the requirements of the Fair Labor Standards Act as interpreted and implemented by the United States Department of Labor. EduCare participants shall be compensated at a weekly rate that is 75% of the weekly rate paid to non-EduCare participants;

(2) Do not provide more than 10 hours of child care per day, or more than 45 hours of child care in any one week. EduCare participants may not provide more than 10 hours of child care per day or more than 30 hours of child care in any one week;

(3) Receive a minimum of one and one half days off per week in addition to one complete weekend off each month; and

(4) Receive two weeks of paid vacation. (k) Educational component. Sponsors must: (1) Require that during their initial period of program

participation, all EduCare au pair participants complete not less than 12 semester hours (or their equivalent) of academic credit in formal educational settings at accredited U.S. post-secondary institutions and that all other au pair participants complete not less than six semester hours (or their equivalent) of academic credit in formal educational settings at accredited U.S. post-secondary institutions. As a condition of program participation, host family participants must agree to facilitate the enrollment and attendance of au pairs in accredited U.S. post secondary institutions and to pay the cost of such academic course work in an amount not to exceed $1,000 for EduCare au pair participants and in an amount not to exceed $500 for all other au pair participants.

(2) Require that during any extension of program

participation, all participants ( i.e. , Au Pair or EduCare) satisfy an additional educational requirement, as follows:

(i) For a nine or 12-month extension, all au pair participants and host families shall have the same obligation for coursework and payment therefore as is required during the initial period of program participation.

(ii) For a six-month extension, EduCare au pair participants must complete not less than six semester hours (or their equivalent) of academic credit in formal educational settings at accredited U.S. post-secondary institutions. As a condition of participation, host family participants must agree to facilitate the enrollment and attendance of au pairs at accredited U.S. post secondary institutions and to pay the cost of such academic coursework in an amount not to exceed $500. All other au pair participants must complete not less than three semester hours (or their equivalent) of academic credit in formal educational settings at accredited U.S. post-secondary institutions. As a condition of program participation, host family participants must agree to facilitate the enrollment and attendance of au pairs at accredited U.S. post secondary institutions and to pay the cost of such academic coursework in an amount not to exceed $250.

(l) Monitoring. Sponsors shall fully monitor all au pair exchanges, and at a minimum shall: (1) Require monthly personal contact by the local counselor

with each au pair and host family for which the counselor is responsible. Counselors shall maintain a record of this contact;

(2) Require quarterly contact by the regional counselor with each au pair and host family for which the counselor is responsible. Counselors shall maintain a record of this contact;

(3) Require that all local and regional counselors are appraised of their obligation to report unusual or serious situations or incidents involving either the au pair or host family; and

(4) Promptly report to the Department of State any incidents involving or alleging a crime of moral turpitude or violence.

(m) Reporting requirements. Along with the annual report required by regulations set forth at §62.17, sponsors shall file with the Department of State the following information: (1) A summation of the results of an annual survey of all

host family and au pair participants regarding satisfaction with the program, its strengths and weaknesses;

(2) A summation of all complaints regarding host family or au pair participation in the program, specifying the nature of the complaint, its resolution, and whether any unresolved complaints are outstanding;

(3) A summation of all situations which resulted in the placement of au pair participant with more than one host family;

(4) A report by a certified public accountant, conducted pursuant to a format designated by the Department of State, attesting to the sponsor’s compliance with the procedures and reporting requirements set forth in this subpart;

(5) A report detailing the name of the au pair, his or her host family placement, location, and the names of the local and regional organizational representatives; and

(6) A complete set of all promotional materials, brochures, or pamphlets distributed to either host family or au pair participants.

(n) Sanctions. In addition to the sanctions provisions set forth at §62.50, the Department of State may undertake immediate program revocation procedures upon documented evidence that a sponsor has failed to: (1) Comply with the au pair placement requirements set

forth in paragraph (e) of this section; (2) Satisfy the selection requirements for each individual au

pair as set forth in paragraph (d) of this section; and (3) Enforce and monitor host family’s compliance with the

stipend and hours requirements set forth in paragraph (j) of this section.

(o) Extension of Program. The Department, in its sole discretion, may approve extensions for au pair participants beyond the initial 12-month program. Applications to the Department for extensions of six, nine, or 12 months, must be received by the Department not less than 30 calendar days prior to the expiration of the exchange visitor’s initial authorized stay in either the Au Pair or EduCare program ( i.e. , 30-calendar days prior to the program end date listed on the exchange visitor’s Form DS–2019). The request for an extension beyond the maximum duration of the initial 12-month program must be submitted electronically in the Department of Homeland Security’s Student and Exchange Visitor Information System (SEVIS). Supporting documentation must be submitted to the Department on the sponsor’s organizational letterhead and contain the following information: (1) Au pair’s name, SEVIS identification number, date of

birth, the length of the extension period being requested; (2) Verification that the au pair completed the educational

requirements of the initial program; and (3) Payment of the required non-refundable fee (see 22

CFR 62.90) via Pay.gov.

(p) Repeat Participation. A foreign national who enters the United States as an au pair Exchange Visitor Program participant and who has successfully completed his or her program is eligible to participate again as an au pair participant, provided that he or she has resided outside the United States for at least two years following completion of his or her initial au pair program.

[60 FR 8552, Feb. 15, 1995, as amended at 62 FR 34633, June 27, 1997; 64 FR 53930, Oct. 5, 1999. Redesignated at 64 FR 54539, Oct. 7, 1999; 66 FR 43087, Aug. 17, 2001; 71 FR 33238, June 8, 2006; 73 FR 34862, June 19, 2008]

United States Department of StateOffice of Exchange Coordination and DesignationECA/EC/PS - SA-44, Room 734301 4th Street, S.W.Washington, D.C. 20547jvisas@state.gov

36 | U.S. DEPARTMENT OF STATE REGULATIONS | 37

“As a family, we have hosted four au pairs, and we are still in touch with each of the girls after they’ve gone home. It’s an incredibly rich and important cultural experience for your children as well!”

Host family advice

— Susanne, Cultural Care host mom in California

culturalcare.com | 1-800-333-6056