Hospice NewsW I N T E R 2 01 5

Fearing DeathHow It Impacts Quality of Life

Hospital ChaplaincySpiritual Care for All

Remembering AffectionA Way to Cop with Loss

Brookings Health System Hospice would like to acknowledge with appreciation the following donations (received through 12/30/14):

Donation from Arlene Hendrickson

Donation from Kathryn and James Berreth

Donation from Darrell and Betty Johnson

Donation from Lois Meyer family

Donation from St Thomas More Catholic Church Brookings

In Memory of Stan Corlett Francine Torgrude Neva Corlett

In Memory of Robert Drewes Marlys Drewes

In Memory of Lois Meyer Tom & Doris Schumacher

V O L U N T E E R S P O T L I G H T : Emily GizaHaving been inspired by a coworker who was a hospice volunteer, Emily Giza became a volunteer for Brookings Health System Hospice more than a year ago. She values the idea of volunteering in one’s community and enjoyed her work as a CNA with an elderly population. The clients she has served in hospice have been elderly. As a hospice volunteer, she has most enjoyed being able to brighten the day of a client or bringing a smile to their face. She particularly enjoys hearing stories about their lives.

Emily has a busy and exciting year ahead of her. She will graduate from SDSU in May with a major in pre-Physician’s Assistant. She plans to apply to Physician Assistant School for Fall 2016 entry. In July she is marrying a young man

who teaches high school and coaches

basketball. Her fiancé shares her love for hunting, fishing, hiking and camping as well as trapping which she learned to do with her father. Emily thoroughly enjoys being outdoors and enjoys playing soccer as well as watching sports games. She is also fond of dancing and, of course, plans to include a dance as part of her wedding celebration.

She feels fortunate to have been able to volunteer for hospice and said she will continue to volunteer for hospice wherever she and her future husband choose to live. We feel fortunate to have her as part of the hospice team. Emily has shown much concern for her clients. When one of her clients became better and was discharged from hospice, Emily continued to spend time with her. They both appreciated their on-going visits together.

brookingshealth.org2

Mavis GehantHospice Social Worker

We Have talked in this newsletter and in our grief education classes about ways to cope with our loss. The following may be something to consider. It is a way to focus on the present moment and experience a connection with others.

An article in Christian Century (November 26, 2014) by S. Bader-Saye talks about the bonds of affection. He draws on a work by C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves. Lewis notes the feeling of affection toward others is not dependent on the other person being someone like us. It is not dependent on the other person having the same view points, associations or social status.

So who are the people who may be the object of affection? They may be people you do not know very well. Perhaps the person is a neighbor who provides you with fresh strawberries each June, the woman who styles your hair with whom you chat amiably, the young man who regularly waits on you at Lowe’s and seems to know just what to do to be helpful, the woman who grooms your dog and takes special care, the man at church who seeks you out to chat about nothing of significance but likes your company, the shy guy who talks with you about what’s wrong with your car and always manages to fix the problem and seems to appreciate your questions and acknowledgement of his efforts or the child next door who delights in showing you her latest creations and hearing your positive responses. You perhaps have some specific people and incidents in mind as you read this.

These seemingly small encounters certainly do not replace a major love in our lives, but are they moments of pleasure we could truly appreciate and hold closely? These encounters generate a feeling of warmth, a feeling of affection. Paying attention to them can be a source of pleasantness, a reminder that caring is present in our lives and it is something that binds us together.

Sometimes we pass over these moments not fully taking in their significance. What if we really paid attention? Might it not be that as we accumulate these experiences they would help us feel more connected to others, more content, more grounded and perhaps a little less lost or alienated?

Appreciating moments of affection may very well make it easier to get through the day, to move on, to cope. Coping with our loss is something we can do, something to which we can place effort. And coping is perhaps just what our loved one would want for us and of us.

We think about the loved one we have lost. We sense the love and the continuing

bond with the one whom we have lost. That love seems irreplaceable. At times

those feelings and thoughts can intensify our grieving. How can one cope with this

loss, this pain? How does one persevere?

Moments of Affection

3winter 2015

Richard P. HolmMD

altHougH it must be a survival advantage taking precautions to avoid danger and an early death, I have watched how the fear of death can sometimes bring it on. For example one woman observed a relative with cancer suffer a miserable death. Because of her fear of a similar fate, the woman avoided appropriate and effective treatment for her own breast cancer, resulting in a premature death.

I have also watched how the fear of death can sometimes greatly reduce the joy of life during the time people had left. For example one man with the diagnosis of cancer sank into a black hole of funk and sadness so deep he avoided visits from his family who loved him and eventually slipped away still immersed in fear and regret.

Whether young or old, and especially during this concentrated time at the end of life, I have seen how the fear of death is not only dangerous but also reduces the quality of life in the end. So why does this happen?

What happens after we die? Of course, that is the great mystery about which every

religion has wrestled with since the dawn of time. This short essay will not have the

answer either, but as a physician who has experienced a lifetime caring for people,

I have some observations about fearing death.

Fearing Death is Dangerous

Is this because humans do better embracing a hopeful spirit? I know we like a happy ending, not a sad one. Of course a hopeful message about death seems to make it easier to help people and their families who are facing death, but does being hopeful mean we have to pretend it is not going to happen?

I have watched folks facing death with courage and hope by fixing unresolved issues and regrets, expressing and embracing their love for friends and family, savoring the moments of time they do have left, enjoying a sense of humor, and being thankful for the blessings they do have. Then when death finally happens, they greet it with ease.

If you or someone you love is facing death, I recommend the book Final Gifts by hospice nurses Callanan and Kelley. Their words give great comfort about the dying process.

Although what happens after we die is beyond understanding, the dangers of fearing death should be a lesson to us all whether or not we know our own timetable. By facing death, we are better prepared for life.

““I have also watched how the fear of death can sometimes greatly reduce the joy of life during the time people had left.

brookingshealth.org4

Gregg TeBeestChaplain

One of the questions I often hear during first time visits with hospital and hospice

patients is, “What church do you serve?” This is a natural question. Historically, the

term “chaplain” has religious connotations. But I also feel it is a bit misleading.

Let me explain.

Hospital Chaplaincy: What’s it Good For?

during a recent visit with a hospital patient my role as chaplain was discussed. As I introduced myself, Sonia* said, “Oh, you’re the chaplain. Well, I’m not religious.” My response startled her a bit when I said, “Oh, that’s okay. I’m not either.” When Sonia understood that my role is about more than just religion, we had a meaningful conversation about her health. In spite of relative youth, Sonia was receiving treatments for breast cancer. She described her feelings when the doctor told her she had cancer. Shock and fear overwhelmed her. But she also described gaining a new awareness of her own mortality and having time to explore the meaning of her life. This was something unexpected, something that her illness actually provided. When asked about her new awareness, Sonia said it was good for her. But her thoughts naturally turned to family. She shared her

concerns for them including worry as they struggled to understand and cope with her illness. As our visit ended, Sonia thanked me and said, “This was the first time I’ve spoken with a minister who didn’t judge me, who didn’t try to change my beliefs. You’ve given me some things to think about, too.”

I believe my visit with Sonia illustrates that spiritual care in the health care setting transcends religion. Spiritual care is for all because spirituality is innate. It is something we all possess. Patients and their families, regardless of their beliefs, often struggle with the meaning and purpose of pain and suffering. They often

ask why questions. During a recent visit with a hospice patient, for example, Margaret turned to me and said, “I don’t know why God is keeping me around. I wonder why I’m still here.” Another hospice patient expressed feelings of frustration. “I’m ready to die,” Janice said. “But why does it take so long? I don’t know what I’m good for. What have I ever done for anyone?” These types of feelings and questions are universal. People of faith ask these questions. And people with no religious connection ask the same questions. My job in moments like these is to facilitate the expression of thought and emotion through reflective story telling.

Reflective story telling - the telling and hearing of life stories - is an important exercise for us all, the “healthy” and ill alike (are we not all in the dying process?) But it is especially important for those who are actively transitioning from this life to another. People who are in the dying process often have questions like: How have I made a difference in this world? What is the value of my life? What is my legacy? I have found that facilitating the exploration of these universal questions often enables patients to make self-discoveries. And making self-discoveries, in turn, often enable them to be more at peace and accepting of their circumstances. Perhaps people becoming more self aware and in turn gaining measures of peace and acceptance through life’s transitions is what hospice chaplaincy is good for.

I am indebted to people like Sonia. She could have declined my visit. Instead she graciously shared her story with me, a stranger. Because her experience is uniquely her own, she was the teacher and I was the student. And I learned from her. I think Sonia would say, however, that she, too, learned something from our visit that day. I believe she learned that spiritual care within health care is not just for the religious but for all.

*Names have been changed for patient privacy.

““My job in moments like these is to facilitate the expression of thought and emotion through reflective story telling.

5winter 2015

brookingshealth.org

In Memory of Dolores Bragedolores passed aWay on November 21, 2014. Dolores had been a hospice volunteer since the Brookings Health System Hospice was founded in 1995. She enjoyed volunteering and hospice was only one of many areas to which she devoted her time. We remember her as being a very gracious lady who was interested in learning new things. Her enthusiasm for volunteering and her compassion were notable. She was a faithful member of the hospice team and is missed.

Hannabelle’s Wonderful Life

From Her Home of fifty-five years in Queens, New York, Hannabelle Waith reflects on what has made her life so wonderful. “My husband and my brothers and my sisters and my nieces and nephews. I’ve always had them around me.” Despite having had no children of her own, Hannabelle is the matriarch of a big family, all of whom were more than happy to be at her bedside trading stories of the lifetime she’s spent helping them and others.

Several months ago, Hannabelle was told she would need to undergo surgery to fix her failing heart. “I’m 92- years old and I don’t want them to operate on me because I don’t know if it’s going to make me better or worse,” she says. “So I told them no, that I did not want to be operated on. When God gets ready for me, that’s it.”

After talks with her doctors, it was clear that further curative care for her condition was not going to extend Hannabelle’s life, and that continuing those treatments could involve discomfort and hospitalization. This was not how she wanted to experience the final chapter of a life well-lived.

“Aunt Belle,” as she’s known in the neighborhood, spent years babysitting many kids growing up there and also helped raise her nieces and nephew, who now have grown children of their own. She traveled the world with her late husband and did mission work for her church. She’s also

a proud lifetime member of the NAACP. Pictures taken throughout this wonderful life grace the walls of the living room, where Hannabelle can see them all from her bed.

With the help of her team from VNSNY Hospice and Palliative Care, Hannabelle is able to remain in her home and live the rest of her days comfortably. Her team includes a nurse, social worker, home health aide, and a volunteer.

As her nurse Luis Leighton puts it, “When hospice is here, a family can step out of the caregiver role and take time to just be a family again, honoring the richness of life that has brought them all together for this brief time on earth.”

With faith being the cornerstone for her life, Hannabelle remains active with her church and community despite being unable to get out much. Fellow church members come to her home to visit and pray, and Hannabelle enjoys reminiscing with them about Christmases past. This holiday season, her circle of loved ones includes a ‘hospice family’ as well.

“They have made life so much easier for us,” says her great niece and one of her family caregivers Hannah Morgan-Childs of the VNSNY team. And Hannabelle herself sums it up this way: “They are so helpful and enlightening and always right here for me. I tell you… I just can’t describe how I feel, how they make me feel. It’s just so wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.”

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THANK YOU!THANK YOU!TO ALL 2014 DONORS...

Mercedes Ahlers • John Allmer • Norman & Catherine Allmer • Vickie Alschlager • Glen & Sharon Anderegg • Barb & DeWayne Anderson • Gerry Anderson • Nathan Anderson • Signe Anderson • Delores Antonen • Laurie Austin • Wayne & Shari Budahl-Avery • Billie Bach • Chad Bachman • Alan & Joan Baker • Phil & Winifred Baker • Doreen Barth • Kurt Bassett • Dan Bather • Darlene Bauer • Curt & Sandra Bauman • Patricia Beattie • Dianne Becker • Brett Behrends • Dan Beinhorn • Jeremy & Andrea Beireis • Robert & Julie Bell • Lois Bellows • Rebecca Berhow • James & Kathryn Berreth • Chuck & Mary Lou Berry • Dolores Bertsch • September & Chris Bessler • Mary Bezdichek • Jennifer Bickett • John Bloom • Jean Blume • Donald & Janice Boe • Catherine Bolzer • Jim & Kathy Booher • Bonney Bork • Chad Bortnem • Carol & Jerry Boulais • Siri Boyd • Bruce & Linda Brandt • Steve & Linda Britzman • Robert & Verdus Broschat • Bob & Eleda Brotsky • Arne & Doris Brown • Russell Brown • Henry Buchholtz • Faye Bullis • Karen Bumann • Steve & Loreen Bunkers • Brian Burkhalter • Sherry Cappel • Joan Carey • Patrick & Patricia Carey • Chris Carpenter • Nick Chaney • David & Marcia Chicoine • Amy Christensen • Barry & Marlys Christensen • Chris Christopherson • Stacy Clark • Verna Clark • Marilyn Clifford • John & Jan Clites • Deb Conatser • Curt Coover • Neva Jean Corlett • Bev Cotton • James & Louise Coull • Heather Coon • Vicki Creswell • Kevin Crose • Erik & Kaye Dahl • Brian & Lynn Darnall • Lloyd & Maxine Darnall • Mike Davidson • Prudence Debates • Gordon & Shirley Dekkenga • Emily Delbridge • Fred Delfanian • Carolyn Clague & Dennis Hopfinger • Thelma Dittman • Carleen Dixon • Scott & Deb Dominiack • Jim & Carol Doolittle • Linda Doren • Ray & Vi Dorn • Norene & Douglas Doyle • Amber Dubro • John Duffy • Judy Duffy • Chris Duklet • Mona Dykhouse • Joel Edman • Pauline Eggers • Daniel & Shelby Eischens • James Elijah • Duane & Irma Ellis • Dr. Andrew Ellsworth • Brett Enderson • C. & G. Englund • Daryl & Marlys Englund • Aaron Entringer • Darrell Erb • Kassandra Erickson • Lewayne Erickson • Theresa Erschens • Alaina Evans • Don & Carol Evenson • Duane Everding • Danny Faber • Heidi Faehnrich • Sandra Faltemier • Glen & Estelle Felt • Marci Fenske • Lora Ficek • Cory & Heidi Fields • Van & Barb Fishback • Randy Flaskey • Marilyn & David Foerster • Harry & Charleen Forsyth • Tammy Fraser • Lorraine Fredrikson

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• LeRoy & Arlene Klavetter • Eugene & Lois Kleinjan • Richard & Marge Kleinjan • David & Sara Kneip • Erica Knippling • Lauri Knobloch • Ken & Tamera Knudtson • Ron & Karen Knutson • Maynard & Geraldine Kramer • Joyce Krein • Craig & Kathy Kreyger • Lonnie Kuck • Renee Kucker • Elizabeth Kuhl • Reece & Kami Kurtenbach • Barb Landsman • Dennis & Kathleen Lang • Amber Larsen • Karen Larsen • Amanda Larson • Tim & Mary Larson • Al & Gail Lee • Jamie Lems • Peg & George Lippert • Don & Cleo Lockwood • Wendy Long • Dave & Roxanne Lucchesi • Luann Lunt • Bruce & Ila Lushbough • Reed Mahlke • Lisa Malone • Harry & Connie Mansheim • Lana Martin • Kelly Maser • Ralph & Gayle Matz • Grant Mcadaragh • Don & Anne McCarty • Gladys McCracken • Joel McCue • Chris McCullough • Dolores McKeown • Lynn Mennis • Jason & Kati Merkley • Jim & Barbara Meyer • Tyrone Meyer • Gloria Meyers • Alvin & Suzette Mielke • Russell & Andrea Mileham • Cheryl Miller • Sheri Miller • Laurie Moe • Barb Mogler • Scott Mohror • Florence Moller • Maurice & Patti Monahan • Michael Moore • Jeff Morehouse • Jim & Dorothy Morgan • Richard & Carol Motter • Patricia Muecke • Dick & Judy Mulhair • Jill Mutziger • Glen Nachtigal • Kathy Nachtrieb • Jonetta & David Negstad • Bonnie Nelson • Jane & David Nelson • Sheila Ness • Steve Neuman • Al Newborg • Joel Nielsen • Ope & Beth Niemeyer • Pat & Donna O'Connell • David Odens • Emelia Oines • Roberta & David Olson • Russell & Sandy Olson • Doug & Mary O'Neill • Ann Overby • Bill Paulson • Carol Peterson • Verna Peterson • Bonnie Pierce • Jean Pierce • Gloria Pike • Jamie Pitts • Marilyn Powers • Alton Quam • Charles & Barb Quam • Archie & Helen Rackerby • Zac Radunz • Richard & Evon Rasmussen

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• Henry Williams • Dorothy Williamson • Jim & Venita Winterboer • Dee Wiskur • Greg Wood • Chris Wooge • Walt & Yvonne Wosje • Wang Xin • Julia Yoder • Melissa Zemlicka • 3M • A&B Service Garage • AAA Collections, Inc • AMP Electric Construction • Avera Medical Clinic Brookings • Back In Motion Chiropractic • Bankstar Financial • Banner & Associates • Basin Electric • Boen & Associates • Bowes Construction • Brookings Chapter 15 OES • Brookings Healthcare Auxiliary • Brookings Radio • Brookings Register • Central Business Rentals • Cinema Five • Clark Drew Construction • Clites Electric • Courtesy Plumbing • Cubby's Sports Bar & Grill • Dacotah Bank • Dakota Nature Park • Dakotaland Federal Credit Union • Daktronics • Dave's Window Service • Duplicate Bridge Club • Earthbend • Eide Bailley • Einspahr Auto Plaza • Falcon Plastics • First Bank & Trust • FRC Women of Faith • G&R Controls • Gas N More • Hamlin Building Center • H-D Electric Coop • Helsper & Mahlke Attorneys • HGA Architecture & Engineering • Howalt McDowell Insurance • HyVee • Iberdrola Renewables • John Unruh Family • King Insurance • Kjergaard Sports • Lucky Dog • Mills Construction • Minuteman Press • Nick's Hamburger • NorthWestern Energy • Outdoor Adventure Center • Outlaw Graphics • PDS Inc. • Pheasant Restaurant & Lounge • Printsmart • Regional Home Builders • Risty Benefits, Inc • Ron's Auto Repair • Rude's Home Furnishing • Rude's Loft on the Level • Running's • Sanford Health Brookings • Sioux Falls Scheels • Sodexo • Sioux Valley Energy • Swiftel Center • Tessier's Inc • The Depot • The Exchange • TransCanada Corporation • Twin City Fan • Valley Mart • Walmart • White Ambulance • Wildfire Gym • Winsor Township Charity Fund • WW Tire

*Based on donations received as of print deadline.

Brookings Health System Foundation recently received donations to the ambulance fund pushing the fund total over $47,000. Ruth Hevle representing Brookings Healthcare Auxiliary, Lois Taylor from TransCanada Corporation, and White Ambulance members Russ Larson and Tammy Byers present checks to Brookings Health System ambulance director Gordon Dekkenga. Ann Getting, 3M Brookings plant manager and Mary Erickson, 3M Brookings community affairs coordinator present a gift from the 3M Community Giving fund to Brookings Health System paramedic Marisa Hanson. Funds raised through December 31, 2014 will help the health system pay for a new ambulance. Tax deductible donations can be mailed to Brookings Health System Foundation, 300 22nd Avenue, Brookings or online at www.brookingshealthsystem/foundation.

winter 2015

This is arecyclable product.

Hospice News is published by Brookings Health System. This publication in no way seeks to serve as substitute for professional medical care. Consult your physician before undertaking any form of medical treatment or adopting any exercise program or dietary guidelines.

300 Twenty-Second AvenueBrookings, SD 57006

ADDRESS SERVICE REQUESTED

We Extend Sympathy to the families of patients lost through December 2014:

Geneva Ackman 5/8/32–11/4/14

David Albert 4/23/50–10/29/14

Lewis Benshoof 12/14/32–11/11/14

Judy Collins 5/11/42–10/10/14

Katherine Embry 8/7/29–12/17/14

Wilma Haufschild 9/24/21–10/4/14

William Heylens 5/20/30–11/19/14

Arlen Isler 3/17/53–10/29/14

Ellene Jensen 9/27/14–12/11/14

George Magistad 11/19/18–12/22/14

Esther Martinson 9/11/15–10/23/14

Lois Meyer 4/9/15–12/17/14

Patti Monahan 8/4/34–11/21/14

Steven Myers 9/6/49–11/17/14

Wenzel Steffensen 10/22/37–11/3/14

John Thompson 11/18/23–11/17/14