HOPE -FILLED ENGAGEMENT THROUGH MATTERING GRAY POEHNELL Cannexus, January 23 , 2012
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Transcript of HOPE -FILLED ENGAGEMENT THROUGH MATTERING GRAY POEHNELL Cannexus, January 23 , 2012
1HOPE-FILLED
ENGAGEMENT
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“CAREER STUFF”
CAN SEEM HOPELESS
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CAREER
LIFE
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AN ALTERNATIVE
APPROACH
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HOPE
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HOPE-FILLED
ENVIRONMENT
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HOPE
balance
d
inclusiv
e
engagin
g
holistic
mattering
realisticimaginativ
e
spiritual
creativesimple flexible
positive
supportiv
e gratitude
& joy
resiliency
trust
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2WHAT IS
MATTERING
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beliefs people have, whether right or wrong, that they matter to someone else, that they are the object of someone else’s attention, and that others care about them and appreciate them.
MATTERING, Amundson, Active Engagement
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3MATTERING
MATTERS
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MATTERING
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HOPEWILLINGNESS TO
TRY
“what difference does it make?”“so what?”“who cares?”“that’s just the way it is”“what’s the use?”“what’s the point of trying?”“why bother?”“I can’t make a difference”
I DON’T MATTER - THERE IS NO HOPE - SO WHY TRY
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MATTERsubstance
tangible
VISIBLITY
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MATTERINGsubstance
tangible
VISIBLITY &
RECOGNITION
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VALUE
MATTERINGsubstance
tangible
MAKING A DIFFEREN
CEimportance
significance
meaning
VISIBLITY &
RECOGNITION
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INVISIBLE
PEOPLE
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Liu Bolin: the Vanishing Artist
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INVISIBLE
TO THEMSELVES
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LEARNED
HELPLESSNESS/HOPELESSNESS
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the giving-up reaction, the quitting response that follows from the belief that whatever you do doesn’t matter.
LEARNED HELPLESSNESSSeligman, Learned Optimism
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Life Experiences
Negative Explanatory Style
Nothing I domatters
Why try?
Nothing I do will ever matter
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INVISIBLE
TO OTHERS
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CHICAGOMr. Cellophane Lyrics sung by Amos
If someone stood up in a crowd And raised his voice up way out loudAnd waved his arm and shook his leg
You'd notice him If someone in the movie showYelled "Fire in the second row
This whole place is a powder keg!”You'd notice him
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CHICAGOMr. Cellophane Lyrics sung by Amos
And even without clucking like a henEveryone gets noticed, now and then,
Unless, of course, that personage should be
Invisible, inconsequential me! CellophaneMister Cellophane
Shoulda been my nameMister Cellophane'Cause you can look right
through meWalk right by me
And never know I'm there….
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CHICAGOMr. Cellophane Lyrics sung by Amos
… A human being's made of more than air
With all that bulk, you're bound to see him there
Unless that human bein' next to youIs unimpressive, undistinguished
You know who...Cellophane
Mister CellophaneShoulda been my nameMister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through meWalk right by me
And never know I'm there…
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SOME SYSTEMIC
CHALLENGES
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goals
work
exp
ed
uca
tion
skills, etc
CAREER
LIFE
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WE SEE
WHAT MOST DON’T
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goals
wor
k ex
p
education
skills, etc
CAREER
LIFE Engage people wherethey are engaged in life!!
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goals
wor
k ex
p
education
skills, etc
CAREER
LIFE
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Engage people wherethey are engaged in life!!
WE HELP PEOPLE TO SEE
WHAT THEY CAN’T SEE
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I HAVE VALUE!
WHAT I DO MAKES A
DIFFERENCE!
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4INSIGHTFUL
CROSS-TRAINING
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BUTTERFLY EFFECT
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every decision we make and everything we do no matter how smallhas a profound effect on the world around us
BUTTERFLY EFFECT
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Sensitive Dependence on Initial Conditions
BUTTERFLY EFFECT
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even small and seemingly insignificant changes at the start of a process can produce significantly different results
BUTTERFLY EFFECT
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SMALL CHANGE
BIG DIFFERENCE
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WHAT SMALL CHANGES
COULD YOU MAKE?
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LEARNED OPTIMISM:
HOW TO CHANGE YOUR MIND AND YOUR LIFEMartin E. Seligman
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LEARNED
HELPLESSNESS
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the giving-up reaction, the quitting response that follows from the belief that whatever you do doesn’t matter.
LEARNED HELPLESSNESSSeligman, Learned Optimism
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EXPLANATORY
STYLE
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the manner in which you habitually explain to yourself why events happen
EXPLANATORY STYLESeligman, Learned Optimism
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Your way of explaining events to yourself determines how helpless you can become, or how energized, when you encounter [life experiences]I think of your explanatory style as reflecting “the word in your heart.” Each of us carries a word in his heart, a “no” or a “yes.”
EXPLANATORY STYLESeligman, Learned Optimism
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explanatory style stems directly from your view of your place in the world—whether you think you are valuable and deserving, or worthless and hopeless
EXPLANATORY STYLESeligman, Learned Optimism
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THREE DIMENSIONS OF
EXPLANATORY STYLE
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PERMANENCE Temporary“this time”
Permanent“always happens”
PERVASIVENESS
Specific“this situation”
Universal“whatever I do”
PERSONALIZATION
External“other factors”
Internal“It’s my fault”
pessimistic optimistic
EXPLANATORY STYLE
LEARNED OPTIMISM
LEARNED HELPLESSNESS
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Life Experiences
Negative Explanatory Style
Nothing I domatters
Why try?
Nothing I do will ever matter
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LEARNED HELPLESSN
ESS
Life Experiences
PositiveExplanatory Style
I matter.
I’ll try.
I can makea difference.
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LEARNED OPTIMISM
5SOME PRACTIAL THINGS
I FIND HELPFUL
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look and listen for the signsof helplessness, hopelessness,for the signs that people don’t think they matter
OBSERVANT
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Put myself into the shoes of those who don’t think they matteror that anything they do matters.Explore diversity.
EMPATHY
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What are they seeing and hearing when meeting me?What impact am I having on them?More hopeful or more hopeless?
SELF-AWARE
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ToneFirst contactConnectingActive ListeningValuingHopefulCreative
ATMOSPHERE AND ENVIRONMENT
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Create experiences in whichpeople are surprised by what they have in their lives and by what they can do.
SURPRISE EXPERIENCES
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Favourite Things
up to 12 things I like to do?
last time?
cost / free?
planned/spontaneous?
alone / others?
mind, body, emotion, spirit?
cooking
craf
ts
gam
es
spirituality
family/friends movies
PE
MS
PE
PE”MS
3 days
1 da
y
1 w
eek
today
today1 month
$
$F
F
F$
S/P
PS
/P
S/P
SP
A
AO
A/O
OO
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Enable people to lookat themselves and their livesfrom multiple perspectives,especially the hopeful ones.
MULTIPLE PERSPECTIVES
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What do people need to know and to be able to doIn order for what I am askingthem to do?What do I have to equip them with before they cando what I ask them to do?
BACKSWING & EQUIPPING
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Learned helplessness can be unlearned.How can I help people findmore hopeful explanationsfor the life experiences that have taught them that they don’t matter.
ALTERNATIVE EXPLANATIONS
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learning a set of skills about how to talk to yourself when you suffer a personal defeat. from a more encouraging viewpoint.
LEARNED OPTIMISM & SELF-TALKSeligman, Learned Optimism
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What is a “skill?”
SKILL“strength, good at”
NOSKILL
SKILL“something you do”
HOPELESS
HOPE-FILLED
TRADITIONAL VIEW OF
SUCCESS
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Ability
+Motivation
⇓SUCCESS
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EXPANDED VIEW OF
SUCCESS
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Ability
+Motivation
+Optimism
⇓SUCCESS
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