HOLYHUSH7 THINGS YOUR CHURCHWON’T TELL YOU

REGI CAMPBELL

TABLE OF CONTENTSHOLYHUSH

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Introduction .......................................................................................

Chapter 1 You have a con�ict of interest with your people ........

Chapter 2 You and your people have di�erent

de�nitions of worship ..................................................

Chapter 3 Belonging and believing are two di�erent things .....

Chapter 4 Me and mine .................................................................

Chapter 5 They want a preacher ...................................................

Chapter 6 They want what you have ............................................

Chapter 7 Trusting God? ...............................................................

Epilogue What now? ....................................................................

About About Regi Campbell & Radical Mentoring ................

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INTRODUCTIONHOLYHUSH

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TWO FUNDAMENTAL FACTORS OF HUMAN ENLIGHTENMENT :

1. There is a God

2. You are not Him.

God is invisible. You can see His hand but you can’t see Him. The Old Testament said anyone who saw Him would die . . . overwhelmed by His glory. But people still want to see Him. To move Him from intangible to tangible. To eliminate doubt He’s real.

Have you ever thought about how the Senior Pastor is presented on Sunday morning? He’s up on a platform (which could be compared to a pedestal). He’s got the biggest chair. In a lot of churches . . . just before he rises to speak, you hear “Turn your eyes upon Jesus.” Wow! I know we didn’t mean to, but have we transferred the idea we’re looking at Jesus to the speaker? Totally unintentional, but to the unaware, it’s a subtle, symbolic assignment of a kind of deity to the one who preaches.

You’re not God . . . you know that. But you may be the next best thing for people in your church. People perceive pastors to be holy, at least holier than they are. You’re ‘set apart’ by a divine call and people in your church don’t know how to process that. You can say, “I’m just a man,” or “I’m just a sinner saved by grace.” But they still attach something to you. Whether it’s fear or respect or reverence, people in your church treat you with kid gloves.

Because of this, people won’t tell you stu�. Bright, perceptive people see things that could help you and the church, yet they keep their thoughts, feelings and ideas to themselves. Oh, some of them will tell you everything about everything . . . more than you want or need to know. And some are so sure they know what you’re supposed to do and how you’re supposed to do it, you’re wise to steer away. But it’s really hard to get good information from the good people.

No man can gain perspective in the midst of his circumstances. We all need ‘fresh eyes’ to see for us. To take snapshots and upload them. Not to interpret them . . . not to make them into movies. Just to share them.

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INTRODUCTIONHOLYHUSH

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I’m a business guy with an MBA, several years as CEO of a marketing research company and the experience of being around lots of startups. I’ve been a church member all my conscious life, involved in the early days of several churches that have grown pretty big, most notably North Point Community Church, which Outreach Magazine lists as America’s largest. Since age 10, I’ve been a member of 9 churches in 5 cities. We joined three of those before they owned property.

I’ve never been paid by a church. Never worked on sta�. Never consulted. I am truly an ‘outsider’ so take that into consideration as you read this. My perspective is fresh and unbiased. I have no axe to grind . . . no turf to protect. I don’t have a book to sell, a proposal for you to consider, nor an agenda to further, other than the one we share together . . . to build the Kingdom.

So with these ‘fresh eyes, I’m going to tell you 7 things your church won’t tell you. They may not know all of this - may not really care that much. But the truth is there and you need to hear and consider these thoughts as you lead your church into the future.

Also know that I’m o�ering no answers. I don’t know you or your church. I’ve never walked in your shoes. I don’t know how it feels to have a vision for a church but be handcu�ed by �nancial limitations imposed by a small number of faithful givers who are very committed to their way of ‘doing church.’ But I think it’s better for you to at least consider the perspectives I’m about to o�er than to pretend they’re not there. Forewarned is forearmed.

So drop your guard, open your mind and read on. This isn’t the “holy grail,” but there might be an idea or two in here that can help you change your church for the better.

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1 YOU HAVE A CONFLICT OF INTEREST WITHYOUR PEOPLE

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IF YOU TAKE THE GOSPEL SERIOUSLY, YOU WANT YOUR CHURCH TO GROW.

Your people may not. Not really.

Sure, they’ll say they do. But deep down inside, it’s not a widespread passion. Not something they’re willing to su�er for. Growth will create discomfort for everyone. It upsets the homeostasis. Growth means there’s competition for my parking spot. Kids in the nursery I don’t know. Scary-looking teenagers who aren’t familiar.

Growth means change. Maybe di�erent music. Songs I’m not familiar with. Sometimes, it means people with a di�erent color skin. “Birds of a feather” like to stick together, even though there’s not a racist bone in their bodies. Growth can bring poor people, needy people, sick people, sel�sh people, insensitive people, radically sinful people. Who knows, maybe even gay people.

Church attenders are consumers. They shouldn’t be but in today’s American culture, they are. We can ignore that . . . and ignore them, but we’re ignoring the call of the Gospel if we do. One of the leading voices in equipping churches to grow and thrive puts it this way, “Ever-changing methodologies to share never-changing truth.”

For years, churches tried to mobilize their people toward evangelism. Training and tracts. “Canned” pitches and giveaways. As they say about trying to teach a pig to sing . . . you end up worn out with an irritated pig. With growth in the reformed movement, more people are comfortable with leaving the ‘saving’ up to the Holy Spirit. They’ll just come to church like always. They’re glad to hear about a new Christian. They’ll clap for a person being baptized. But they’re not too keen on risking rejection personally or changing things in ‘their’ church to bring people into the Kingdom when God has the job of drawing them to Himself.

Church growth almost always means more money. “Together We Build.” “Vision for the Future.” How many catchy capital campaign slogans are there? It’s uncomfortable to be challenged to give more than you’re already giving. Subconsciously they think, “Maybe we’re ok with things like they are.” Those who’ve had power and in�uence can feel threatened by young leaders recruited into growing churches. Staying with current reality keeps them at the top of the food chain.

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Even if you came into your job passionate to grow your church, you’ve likely been beaten down a little. Even though the people you work for know growth is the right thing in the long-term, most people live short-term and the older they are, the more comfort matters.

These are tough problems. I don’t know church world, but tons of people have created resources to help you become a growing church. My purpose here is a wake-up call . . . a cold splash in the face to help you realize things you may not have thought about.

YOUR PEOPLE MAY NOT WANT YOUR CHURCH TO GROW.

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YOU HAVE A CONFLICT OF INTEREST WITH YOUR PEOPLEHOLYHUSH

2 YOU AND YOUR PEOPLEHAVE DIFFERENTDEFINITIONS OF WORSHIP

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We were made for worship. If the worship means, “to ascribe worth to,” our whole purpose in being is to worship God . . . to ascribe praise and worth to Him – in song and deed (Col. 1:16).

All of us have our idea of what worship sounds like. If you have a church background, your current vision is, to some degree, the �avor of worship you experienced growing up. Being called to ministry, you’ve been in a lot of churches since then . . . maybe seminary or Bible college. Then on to other church positions.

The churches you’ve visited, those you’ve seen on television, the camps you’ve attended, all these exposures helped shaped your ‘ideal worship experience.’

Well, guess what. Your worship leader, every member of your sta� and every lay leader in your church has their picture of the ‘ideal worship experience’ too. And you’re never going to get everyone to agree.

On a recent retreat, I gave a talk and shared much of what’s in this eBook. When I mentioned personal worship, one of the men revolted. “You can’t worship independent from the body!” He was vehemently opposed to the idea.

WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THAT THEOLOGY COME FROM?

For that matter, where did most of our worship theology and practice come from? It certainly didn’t come from Scripture. We read of David dancing wildly in worship. We see Jesus in quiet solitude yet in my church, the only quiet during a worship service would come because of a power failure. We don’t include quiet re�ection or extended prayer in our services. We just don’t.

For most American Christians, what we call worship is singing songs in a rote fashion out of a book. Most of these songs were written years ago, using words and metaphors foreign to our current lives and culture. We stick to these rituals and traditions and wonder why our kids don’t want to attend church with us. And we watch as the people down the street (or down the pew) go to ‘that new church that’s got great worship.’

This is not a rant against traditional worship music nor a commercial for contemporary. But it is an alarm bell to say, “Pastor, is the worship in your church true, heart-felt, emotion-packed, love-expressing, praise for our Heavenly Father? Are the people leading worship rewarded for good performances or for changed hearts and lives?”

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How about you? Do your eyes tear up every Sunday as your worship leader pours out his heart for the Lord and leads everyone around him to do the same? Or have you let tradition and ‘pew pressure’ bend you toward what they want over the best that can possibly be o�ered up in praise and worship?

Your music people will gravitate toward a performance mentality. It’s a fact of human nature. People will jockey for position so they get the most time up front, sing the most solos, etc. Their motive may be mostly pure . . .they want to use the talent God gave them to glorify Him. But there’s also a degree of ego . . . a desire for praise and recognition for themselves. God is ok with that . . . He even says so in Proverbs 3:4 when He says, “All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes but God weighs the motives.” Almost nothing we do in ministry has 100% pure motive . . . God accepts that and loves us anyway. He forgave us for it long ago.

“We worship . . . they’ll worship” is the mantra I believe in. Hire leaders who yearn to see everyone in your church genuinely worship God using their talents and gifts. Do NOT allow or facilitate a performance mentality where ego, jealousy and contention are harbored.

In all the years of North Point Community Church’s existence, there hasn’t been a single Sunday morning ‘performance.’ Not a single solo. Ever. And North Point could bring in just about anyone to perform. It’s about corporate worship.

ONE OTHER DIMENSION TO THE WORSHIP CONUNDRUM IS SONG CHOICE.

How about songs sung to God vs. songs sung about God? Psalm 22:3 says He “inhabits the praises of His people.” So why sing about Him? Some of the songs sung in church read like we’re singing to each other instead of to Him. As a pastor . . . if you believe “when two or more are gathered together,” then He’s in your presence during your worship time. If He’s there, why sing about Him? SING TO HIM!

SO HERE’S THE ‘NET-OUT’ OF MY SUGGESTIONS . . .

Put people up front who truly love God, want to worship him and have a passion and gift for leading

End the performance culture. Shoot it dead. This is about God, not anyone’s ego or talent to showcase.

Sing more songs to God than about God.

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YOU AND YOUR PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT DEFINITIONS OF WORSHIPHOLYHUSH

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Do what it takes to get people into worship. Screens over architecture. Guitars over organs. A cappella over bands. Whatever it takes.

Take it personal. They’re all watching you. If you relax and get into it, they will too. Step down from the platform during worship and let ‘er rip.

It’s important that you see this con�ict . . . this tension in the area of worship. Your people won’t tell you it’s there. But it is. Your heart may be totally committed to pure worship of the Father. But be aware that there are di�erent pictures of worship in your people’s minds. And it’s a mine�eld to walk through. You will never have unanimity. You’ll have to follow the Lord and lead as He leads you. More about how to do that in the Epilogue.

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YOU AND YOUR PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT DEFINITIONS OF WORSHIPHOLYHUSH

3 BELONGING ANDBELIEVING ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS

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Your people won’t tell you they don’t believe the same as you. Even your closest laymen. The “preacher” e�ect will keep them silent about their doubts. “What? Tell the pastor I’m not sure there’s a physical hell?” When it freezes over. Maybe.

Numbers don’t lie. It’s not likely the statistics about what professing Christians in America say they believe (or don’t) are that far o� from what the people in your church believe.

Scarier still is that many of your people may not believe at all. Ask the “Columbine question” . . . “Confess your faith in Jesus Christ and I’ll kill you. Deny Him and you’ll live.” Come on . . . how many of your people would give up their lives by confessing their faith?

Christian religious practices in the U.S. have created a false sense of security. We’ve baptized infants, con�rmed teenagers and generally ‘assimilated’ the rest of our crowd into church without truly knowing what they believe. Oh, we know the questions to ask and they know the right answers. But doesn’t it make your palms sweat when you hear Jesus’ words “my sheep hear my voice” and then think about most of your church members? You want people to have more than religion; you want them to have a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Your preaching, the programs of your church, the e�orts of your sta� and your lay people need to align around Jesus’ command to make disciples. They won’t tell you they aren’t Jesus-following disciples. They don’t know what they don’t know. They may love all the Jesus they know but they may not know much.

There’s a pretty good argument that Jesus taught ‘belong, believe, behave.’ Through his relationships with Matthew the tax collector, Zacchaeus, Mary Magdalene and others, Jesus showed that love, acceptance and inclusion (belonging) led to belief. We behave from what we believe. Prior to Jesus (and unfortunately in a lot of churches today), it was “You must start by believing . . . not just part of what we believe but ALL of it. If you believe and start to behave accordingly, we’ll accept you and you can belong.

I only mention this trilogy because you already have a head start with the people in your church who don’t really believe. They belong and that’s a good start. So now work on helping them discover more about Jesus, forgiveness, a new identity, grace, peace and yes, intentional disciple-making.

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4 ME AND MINE

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The vast majority of your people care about themselves and their families and friends. That’s it. If you get close enough for them to open up, they’ll tell you, “I have my faith, I have eternal life, I have my church, I have my Sunday school class or small group, I have the Holy Spirit, I have my Bible.” Let me see . . . how many “I’s” was that? Not exactly the ‘other’s focus’ Jesus talked about when He answered the question about which commandment was most important. “Love your neighbor” is anything but “me and mine.”

When you start talking about loving and serving people, especially people outside the church, you’ll �nd resistance. It’s just a fact of life. Which people will we help? People who can’t help themselves? How long must we help? Will they appreciate what we do for them? What’s the government doing? We pay all those taxes, now we’re going to use ‘church money’ too?

Ask most Christians what they want to hear when they meet Jesus, they’ll instinctively say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Taken from a parable, not a commandment. A friend’s wife changed my paradigm on this, saying she wants to hear “Your heart broke for what my Mine breaks for. Welcome!” The ‘what’ is really a ‘who.’ You may have a burden for the hungry or the homeless but those are categories. Until the focus turns to the ‘who’ . . . to the people in real skin, it’s empty, hollow and academic. I’ve heard that ‘orphan’ is a word until you hold one in your arms.

Do the hearts of your people break for anyone outside their immediate circle? How will you lead them to a place of broken-heartedness for others?

First, you have to answer the question yourself. Who does your heart break for? To manufacture a burden for yourself would be a travesty. Ask God to show you if it hasn’t already jumped into your conscious mind. Think about the people on your sta�, think about your lay leadership. What burdens do they have for others?

Hopefully, you’ll �nd a lot of connection between the burdens you and your ‘insiders’ carry and things your church is trying to do. If not, you’re probably trapped by a bunch of previous commitments made by yourself, others or tradition. If you’re having to ‘manufacture’ energy, then it’s time to hit the ‘reset’ button and start over.

Leadership in this does NOT require you to lead every charge, be at every meeting or personally fuel everything that happens. But it does require you to steward your in�uence . . . to use it wisely to propel leaders forward with your endorsement and blessing.

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5 THEY WANT A PREACHER

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Your church will tell you they are pretty satis�ed with you so long as you’re preaching good sermons, marrying their kids, visiting the hospital sick and o�ciating funerals for the dead. It’s you that needs more, whether you want it or not.

I believe a lot of pastors have ‘lost their �rst love.’ They’ve lost touch with the regular people who attend their church. Standing by the door, shaking hands after the service isn’t real. In the early days, you spent time with people one-on-one. You shared your heart for what you were doing. You listened to their stories. You empathized. You ‘walked with them’ through whatever was going on. You’d have outsiders sent to you . . . people who didn’t know Jesus, and you’d meet with them, share with them and sometimes, God would bring them across the line of faith with you sitting there. How long has it been since that happened for you?

The way we ‘do’ church today echoes how we play basketball and football. They say championships are won with defense and there’s really only two choices . . . zone or man to man. Churches play zone. Your people won’t tell you, but they like playing zone. And they’re comfortable with you doing the same.

Zone is where everyone on the team has an assigned area. You go to that area and do your job. Oh sure, you ‘help out’ when someone tries to slip in through those in-between slices, but the basic approach is to assign people to places and for them to do their jobs in those places.

Playing zone gets comfortable pretty quick. You’re assigned to your station based on your talents and gifts. Tall people to the back, fast people to the front. In church world, it’s talkers and ‘out-front’ people to teaching and leading, quiet serving people to the invisible, thankless jobs behind the scenes.

IF YOU’RE HONEST, YOU’LL ADMIT PLAYING ZONE GETS BORING PRETTY QUICK.

Something ‘lights up’ in you when the guy with the ball (or who’s about to catch it) shows up in your face. It’s challenging. Invigorating. When you’re in a man-to-man situation, your faith has to be real. It’s not going to be displayed by your dramatic intonation or cool alliteration. It’s going to come through your eyes, your voice, your tears. These man-to-man encounters bring you and your faith to life. Suddenly, you have real stories for your sermons. People see life in you they haven’t seen in a while.

It’s risky to be real. But less risky when it’s one-on-one. And the ‘jumpstart’ your preaching gets will bless your church in ways you haven’t dreamed of.

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6 THEY WANT WHAT YOU HAVE

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There’s a church within your church. If you’re the pastor of a big church with a big sta�, your ‘sta� church’ is the church everyone wants and is looking for. They won’t tell you that because they don’t know about it. They’ve never been to a sta� meeting. They don’t have your personal attention or hear you pray for their sick child by name.

I’ve spoken at several megachurch sta� meetings and felt it immediately. It’s like Cheers of church world. Everyone knows everybody. Beyond anonymity . . . beyond name tags. These people know each other. They know what’s going on in each other’s lives. If someone’s not there, their absence is explained by someone who is there. Everyone is accounted for at every gathering. Everyone belongs.

There’s usually worship and a devotional, you know the short personal kind you love hearing and sometimes wish could happen on Sunday morning. It’s from the pastor’s heart. There’s no preaching ‘at’ anyone because everyone there is loved and accepted as Jesus-followers.

As I said, your church doesn’t know about this ‘church within the church.’ But rest assured, given the choice, they’d go for it in a heartbeat.

SO HOW CAN YOU CREATE THESE KINDS OF ‘CHURCHES WITHIN THE CHURCH’?

It’s the ‘next new thing.’ I know because it’s what people want. It’s what I want too.

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7 TRUSTING GOD?

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Maybe the biggest thing your church is not telling you is that they don’t trust God. Not really.

Trusting God is the key to peace. Not trusting God is the key to sel�shness, ego, power struggles and fear.

To trust God, you have to believe in Him . . . we talked about that in a previous chapter. But believing in God and trusting Him are di�erent. To trust someone, they have to tell you they’re going to do something and then do it. You watch this happen and think, “That was good. I’ll go another step.” After you see them deliver on their promises (or their character), you �nd yourself trusting them.

Same with God. You look for God, pray and ask for Him to show up. He delivers a few times, you start to trust Him. “Deliver” doesn’t necessarily mean you got what you wanted. It means He showed up. He unquestionably showed up and demonstrated His love for you. Whether He gave you what you wanted or just what you needed, you saw that He’s real, He’s good and He loves you. Your faith is di�erent now.

One of the mysteries about Jesus is how much He knew about who He was early in His life. The Bible is silent about most of His childhood except for the time He lingered with the scholars and explained ‘being about His Father’s business’ to Mary and Joseph. Except for His extraordinary knowledge of the Scriptures and His personal presence (evidenced by His ability to ‘call’ men to follow Him as disciples), He was sort of ‘normal’ until the wedding at Cana. Who knows how much faith He had when He told the servants to �ll those containers with water. But everyone’s faith, including His, had to skyrocket when that water became �ne wine. From that point, His faith showed up stronger and stronger as He watched the Father work through Him. Miracle by miracle, answered prayer after answered prayer, He seemed to trust His Father more and more. Then came the ultimate act of trust - giving His life on the Cross, trusting His Father enough to be separated from Him for three days. For us, that might be the equivalent of saying “Kill me . . . remove my heart from my chest and bury it somewhere separate from me. My source of life will not beat, won’t get oxygen or nourishment and will start to dry out. But in three days, it’ll go back in and I’ll come back to life.” Separating the Father from the Son was that drastic.

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Few of your people have been through the crucible and seen His hand. Many are ‘cultural Christians,’ coming to church because their mamas’ said to. They’ve believed because it’s convenient and far more socially acceptable than to not believe. But moving God from a category to a personal acquaintance is another thing. And moving Him from acquaintance to trusted friend is quite another.

If anyone in your church should trust God, it’d be you. You’ve had the training, you’ve lived His life, you’ve been called. Set apart. When things get tough, do you panic? Have you stood in the pulpit begging for money . . . scared to death they wouldn’t give to something you were convinced was ‘God’s will’ for your church?

DID THAT DEMONSTRATE YOUR TRUST IN HIM OR THE LACK OF IT?

Accept this challenge to trust God with your church. Spend more time listening to Him than talking to Him. Obey His voice. Trust Him. Stories will come from your walk that will inspire your church to trust Him . . . and follow you as you lead them.

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TRUSTING GOD?HOLYHUSH

EPILOGUE - WHAT NOW?

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I’m pretty sure I lived up to the promise I made in the beginning . . . a lot of questions but almost no answers. They say ‘Possession is nine-tenths of the law.’ They say ‘Cleanliness is next to Godliness.’ They say ‘The �rst step in solving a problem is to recognize it does exist.’ I don’t know who they are, but I’m counting on that last one.

My challenge is for you to pray about these 7 things. Don’t talk to God about them – listen to God about them. Take one each day for 7 days and ask the Lord to speak to you. Take a sheet of paper (or a page in your journal) and draw a line down the middle of it. On the left-hand column, write the question you have for God regarding Chapter 1. It might be something like this . . .

Then, in the right hand column, jot down the thoughts that come into your mind after you ask the question. Don’t parse them, don’t �lter them, just write them down.

Then ask . . .

And now write down the thoughts that follow. Keep writing until there’s nothing else on your mind.

Lord, what would you have me know about my church as it relates to growth? . . . as it relates to opening up to ‘outsiders’?

Lord, what would you have me do with what you’ve just shown me?

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Now step back and read what you’ve written. Is it clear? Clean? Real? Actionable? Is it consistent with Scripture? Does it take courage to do? Does it challenge your faith?

Most importantly, does it sound like something God would say to you?

Do this each day for 7 days, taking each of these 7 things before the Father to ask Him what He’d have you know and what He’d have you do with what He shows you.

Then act. Immediately.

In the Bible, God gave each of His servants the faith to act on His instructions, but it was ‘in the moment.’ When the servant paused, questioned or doubted, the faith disappeared. (Think about Peter walking on the water)

Seek Him. Seek His guidance. Do what He says. Trust Him for the outcome.

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EPILOGUE - WHAT NOW?HOLYHUSH

ABOUT REGI CAMPBELL ANDRADICAL MENTORING

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Regi Campbell grew up in a small town church. He's belonged to congregations in multiple cities and gotten to know a quite a few pastors and churches. For the past 19 years, he's been a part of America's largest . . . Andy Stanley's North Point Community Church serving as an Elder twice and in other lay leadership roles. His �rst three books . . . About My Father's Business, Mentor Like Jesus,  and What Radical Husbands Do,  spoke to business people, older men and husbands respectively. Campbell now speaks to Senior Pastors, sharing what he's learned about the chasm between communicator and congregation. 

Regi is Founder and Chairman of Radical Mentoring, a not-for-pro�t that helps churches launch men's small group mentoring for lay leader development. Regi believes that the future of the local church is intimately connected to the development of strong Jesus-following laymen who will lead their wives, children, businesses, neighborhoods and churches with God at the center. 

Radical Mentoring has developed a scalable process to make disciple-making attractive, easier and more e�ective. It’s available on radicalmentoring.com at no charge. We are donor-supported— don't sell anything and we don't consult for fees. Our Playbook for Men's Small Group Mentoring and Lay Leader Development is available by simply registering here. It will show you how to partner with your sta� pastors and key lay leaders to develop the next-generation leaders your church needs with little of your personal time required. 

With a strong core of aligned disciple-makers, your alignment with your church will grow and the 'Holy Hush' will evaporate.