Healing Fireball Publications the Sages Must Be Crazy Spells of Inebriation

8/9/2019 Healing Fireball Publications the Sages Must Be Crazy Spells of Inebriation

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Spells of Inebriation


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The Sages Must Be Crazy:Spells of Inebriation

Authors and Designers

Christopher Baldi

Carol Baldi

Editor

Carol Baldi

Artists

Free Public Domain Source - we thank the artists for posting their

art for use

Healing Fireball Publication

www.HealingFireball.com

Open Game ContentAll the game statistics and the description section are open game content.

All the histories, as well as the flavor text at the beginning of the chapters, the art, the

front and back covers and the introduction are not open game content.

Copyright Information

The Sages Must Be Crazy: Spells of Inebriation Copyright 2009 Healing Fireball

Publications all rights reserved. The Sages Must Be Crazy logo Copyright 2008Healing Fireball Publications all rights reserved. Healing Fireball logo is Copyright

2007 Healing Fireball Publications all rights reserved


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Introduction

The Sages Must be Crazy is a series of treatises written by the noted humorless mageEbenezer The Dry Killjoy about the dangers of what he calls the abuses and excessesof magic in its use as part of an unwholesome diversion. Specifically, what Ebenezer is

referring to is the magic of tricksters and jesters as well as its use to produce frivolous or

what he calls unwholesome effects. We here at Healing Fireball Publications do not

share Ebenezers point of view. However, we do publish his treatises mainly becausethey are well-designed, possibly contain useful information, and, frankly, we often find

the spells and items he describes fascinating and wish to see knowledge of them

disseminated.

So, once again, I find myself in the possession of one of Ebenezer The Dry Killjoys

rants about the abuses of magic. This time it is about the spells crafted by mages wholove their wineskin more than their spell book and clerics who tend the churches of the

goddess of alcohol. Thats right, gentle reader - this ones a rant about alcohol-based

spells. I know what youre thinking, and I agree, it sounds like a party. So lets see what

ol Ebenezer has brought us this time.

~The Healer~

~Healing Fireball Publications~

Welcome once again, young Scholar to my second treatise involving the horrible abusesof magic perpetrated by the less-than-disciplined mind. Since my last treatise on thissubject, I have found an even worse abuse of magic than that perpetrated by the so-calledtrickster. The heinous, uncivilized ways in which those who worship drink practice theart could barely be called reverent, with their drunken revelry and beer-soakedceremonies. Even worse is the perversion that has been perpetrated by those who wouldstudy magecraft while deep in their cup. If you, my young scholar, have not encounteredthose of which I speak, consider yourself fortunate for their frivolity and celebratoryattitude often leads those they encounter to a bad end as they wake up the next morning ina barn covered in feathers and with a blinding headache, only to find their new friend hasleft and the town constable wants a word with them. For this reason, I have dedicatedthis work to exposing the techniques of these undisciplined, rowdy louts.

Ebenezer Killjoy


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Designers NotesSeveral years ago I played in a light-hearted game that was called For the Love of

Drink. The premise was that, instead of being shining examples of heroism, we insteadall played drunkards, alcoholics and rowdy louts. While I enjoyed playing my jolly,

rotund cleric of the god of celebration and drinking, the other spell casters in the groupand I felt that we could further enhance the feel of the game by creating some unique

spells based around the adventures theme. Our game master agreed with our suggestionand so we began the creation of several alcohol and drinking-based spells for this game.This led to some interesting effects and made the game truly memorable and fun.

That is where it would have stayed - as just a fond memory of an old game. That is until

recently, when clearing out some old papers that built up on my shelves I discovered thenotes we had made when designing these spells. Looking through the papers, these spells

once again piqued my interest. And with St. Patricks Day coming up, I thought, What

better time to update these spells and convert them to the 3.5 rules? So pour yourself a

green ale, take a second to remember the patron saint of Ireland, and settle in to our latestlighter-side-of-gaming product, Spells of Inebriation.

On a Serious NoteMost of this product is intended to be taken with a grain of salt. The goal of all the

products in the Sages Must Be Crazy line is to explore the lighter side of gaming and

present some light hearted and sometimes silly spells and items to add to your game. Ihave attempted to balance the spells in this product to work well in most settings,

although the spells do fit best in a low-level, low-power setting, especially a

swashbuckling or anti-hero setting, like the one they were originally designed for.

To provide further clarification on the spells in this book, as well as provide some ideason how to use them, I have included a Notes section with each spell that contains someadditional facts and some of my thinking when I updated them. I hope you find this

information useful and enjoy Spells of Inebriation.


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The Spells of InebriationTo help you identify and thus avoid those that would abuse the mystic arts, by pervertingthem with strong drink, I have gathered below several of the most common spells utilizedby these rowdy drunkards. At first glance, these spells may appear innocent, but trust

me, their users leave nothing but chaos in their wake.

Create (Fermented Drink)Conjuration (Creation)

Level: Clr 0 Pal 1

Components: V, S

Casting Time: 1 Standard ActionRange: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)

Target: Container

Effect: Create up to 1 Gallon of

Specific Alcohol/level

Duration: Instantaneous

Saving Throw: None

Spell Resistance: No

Description: This is not an individual

spell but instead a group of spells(Create Ale, Create Wine, Create Cider,

Create Mead) that all have a similar

function - the creation of a fermented,

non-distilled alcohol. The alcohol canbe created an as small a container as is

available to hold it or it can take up an

area three times as large, filling manysmall containers or possibly causing

alcohol to rain down. The created

alcohol is not aged and tastes as iffreshly made.

History: This family of spells wascreated by many clerics of various faiths,

from those that worship god of vines to

the followers of the hive queen. Over

time, the various spells have beenworked and refined until today, when

they can be found in the repertoire of

many clerics across many realms whouse them to create libation and goodwill

wherever they go.

Notes: Simple fermented drinks still

have a high water content in relation to

the concentration of alcohol, so whilethis spell can be used to create

flammable areas soaked with the

alcohol, they can only be lit by an open

flame. Additionally, containers filledwith the liquid are too watery to be

ignited.

Prevent HangoverConjuration (Healing)

Level: Clr 0 Pal 1

Components: V, S, M

Casting Time: 1 Standard ActionRange: Touch

Target: Person Touched

Effect: Person touched is immune to the

effects of a hangover for 12 hours

Duration: 12 Hours

Saving Throw: Will Negates(Harmless)

Spell Resistance: Yes (Harmless)

Description: This spell prevents thepainful headache, slight nausea and dry

mouth, better known as a hangover, that

is suffered the day after a drinking binge.The spell also gives the effected person

resistance to theNauseatedeffect of any

poison. In order for a hangover or

nausea to be prevented, the alcohol orpoison must be imbibed while the spell

is in effect.

Material Component: Powdered

Willow Bark


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History: The most sacred spell of thefollowers of The Drunken God. Their

clerics often start their day by casting

this spell on themselves to prepare formorning services. This spell has also

become the most profitable spell of TheDrunken Gods followers, being soldby clerics at taverns throughout the land.

Notes: This spell is primarily used for

flavor. However, at low levels itsprotection from nausea and the hangover

spell presented later could be useful to a

thief or spellcaster. The reason for thematerial component is that willow bark

contains natural aspirin and was used

historically as a headache remedy.

Bless AleTransmutation [Good]

Level: Clr 1 Pal 1

Components: V, S, M

Casting Time: 1 Minute

Range: Touch

Target: 1 pint of ale

Effect: Turns 1 pint of ale into HolyAle

Duration: InstantaneousSaving Throw: Will Negates (Object)

Spell Resistance: Yes(Object)Description: Infuses 1 pint (flask) ofale with positive energy, turning it into

Holy Ale. Holy Ale works exactly the

same as Holy Water except that its

natural alcohol content makes itflammable and allows it to be lit with a

torch or flame.

Material Component: Powdered Silver

(10 gp. Worth) and a hop

History: Created by the clerics of The

Drunken God so that they may better

worship him with a lubrication that

befits his majesty. Great barrels of

Holy Ale are left at the door of theirtemples so that the celebrants may fill

their mugs as they enter.

Notes: This spell is a simple variation

onBless Waterthat creates a holy liquidthat is more suitable for use by clericswho worship a god of drink, celebration

or joy. As a side note, we would often

use the Holy Ales flammability to our

advantage, soaking down the undeadwith damaging Holy Ale and then

lighting it a few rounds later when the

undead had been weakened by the holydamage.

HangoverEnchantment (Compulsion)

Level: Brd 1 Sor/Wiz 1

Components: V, S, M

Casting Time: 1 Standard Action

Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)

Target: 1 Person

Effect: Gives one person a hangover

Duration: 2 rounds/level

Saving Throw: Fortitude Negates

Spell Resistance: Yes

Description: The target of this spelldevelops a severe hangover - splitting

headache, nausea and a dry mouth. This

state is very distracting and gives theeffected person a -1 on his attack rolls

and will saving throws. Additionally,

any skill that requires concentration(Disable Device, Sleight of Hand, Open


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Lock, Balance) has a -2 penalty andspellcasters must succeed at a

concentration check (DC=10 + Spell

Level) to cast any spell.

Material Component: A shot of strongspirits downed by the caster during thespell

History: Created by a mage called

Bartold The Pickled when he noticedhow hard it was for him to study his

spell book the morning after a bender.

After some experimentation on a ratherunlucky group of bar patrons, Bartold

found that he could reliably reproduce

the feeling of a hangover. Since hisdiscovery, Bartold has put this spell to

good use, using it in combat to distract

spellcasters and thieves.

Notes: This is a simple spell designed

for low-level casters to use as a

distraction to allow their warriors toclose. We have found that this spell is

extremely handy when confrontingmagic-heavy enemies at low levels as it

allows a chance of spell failure every

time the target tries to cast. Due to theirhigh fortitude, this spell was found to be

less useful on fighters.

Beer MusclesTransmutationLevel: Clr 2 Pal 2 Sor/Wiz 2

Components: V, S, M


Range: Close (25 ft.)Target: Creature Drinking Alcohol

Effect: Drinker Sprouts Extra Muscle

but Loses Rational Thought

Duration: 1 min/2 levels

Saving Throw: Will Negates

(Harmless)

Spell Resistance: Yes(Harmless)Description: Beer can make you feel

stronger and believe youre tougher.

This spell is designed to make thosebeliefs come true. The target of this

spell must down a mug of alcohol as the

caster casts the spell. When the spell iscomplete, the drinker sprouts large bulky

muscles in an almost comical form.

These muscles give the effected personadded toughness in the form of 10 bonus

HP and +8 to strength. His reasoning is

slightly impaired by the rush: 2

intelligence and wisdom for the duration.

Material Component: A Mug of Ale

(Consumed by Target)

History: Created by Bartold The

Pickled to help his friend, a warriorwhose strength had gone into his cup.

This spell helped invigorate the old

soldier and made him feel young again.Since its creation it has been adopted as

a defensive spell by the clerics of The

Drunken God who use it to aid in theircrusade to break up bar fights and anyother disturbances that kill the

celebratory mood.

Notes: Yes this spell is very much

flavor in that most casters could cast

Bulls Strength and get a +4 bonus


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without the drawback. However, the hitpoint this spell gives you can come in

handy and make up for the side effects.

Buzzed (Blessing of the Drunken

God)Enchantment (Compulsion)[Mind-Effecting]Level: Brd 2Clr 2 Pal 2

Components: V, S, M

Casting Time: 1 Standard ActionRange: 20 ft.

Area: Everyone within a 20 ft. radius ofthe caster. Burst, centered on the caster

Effect: Everyone affected has their

attitude move 1 step toward friendly.

Duration: 1d4 HoursSaving Throw: Will Negates


Description: This spell gives everyone

within a 20-foot radius the head rush and

favorable sensations of having gotten alittle drunk. In game terms, everyones

attitude moves 1 step toward friendly to

all the people around them.

Material Component: A glass of wineheld up in a toast as the spell is cast anddrunk at its completion.

History: In small doses, alcohol is astimulant that relaxes and calms those

who drink it. This fact is one of the key

tenants of the faith of The Drunken

God. It is so crucial, in fact, that theyoften begin their masses by casting this

spell to put all the followers in the right

frame of mind. Often referred to as theBlessing of the Drunken God, many

of his faithful clerics favor this spell

over the more traditionalBless spell.

Notes: This spell may seem rather

useless on the surface as it only

improves the groups attitude by one

step and it is not even an effect directedat the caster specifically, but instead a

feeling of relaxation that overtakes the

whole group. But if you look a littledeeper you will realize that this spell can

be very handy when trying to stop a barbrawl or to get two sides to sit down at anegotiation table. The spell is also

handy when haggling over price or

trying to bluff your way past a guard.

Loose LipsEnchantment (Compulsion) [Mind-

Effecting]

Level: Brd 2 Sor/Wiz 2

Components: V, S, M



Effect: Effected Person Loses His InnerMonolog

Duration: 1 min/level


Spell Resistance: YesDescription: The spell causes the

person to lose his inner monologue. In

game terms, this forces a person to saywhatever he is thinking out loud. The

effected person must answer anyquestion asked of him, since it is hard

not to think of anything while questions

are being fired. This spell, however,does not force the compelled person to

answer truthfully or even to answer the

question in the first place.

Material Component: A shot of strong

spirits downed by the caster during thespell

History: This spell was created by the

infamous bard and spy, Ghino Buso,who had often used alcohol to loosen the

tongues of his targets. He found that thismethod worked well but was a bit on the


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slow side and ended up costing him a lotof money. So he designed this spell to

produce the same effect but without

costing him a days wage.

Notes: This spell was designed to aidour not-particularly-intimidating groupin gathering information and

interrogating people. While it is true

that the spell does not compel the person

to tell the truth, combining it with aZone

of Truth spell can make it a powerful

tool for information gathering. Note that

the Mind Blankspell, as well as anyother spell that prevents mind-effecting

or compulsion spells, prevents this

spells effect.

Create (Spirits)Conjuration (Creation)

Level: Clr 3 Pal 4

Components: V, S


Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)

Target: Container

Effect: Create up to 1 Gallon of

Specific Alcohol/level

Duration: InstantaneousSaving Throw: None

Spell Resistance: No

Description: This is not an individualspell but instead a group of spells

(Create Rum, Create Brandy, Create

Whiskey, Create Gin) that all have a

similar function - the creation of thestronger fermented and distilled hard

alcohols. The alcohol can be created in

as small a container as is available tohold it or it can take up an area three

times as large. filling many small

containers or possibly causing alcohol torain down. The created alcohol is not

aged and tastes as if freshly made.

History: Similar to the creation spellsof the Create Fermented Drink family

above, no one clerical group was

responsible for the creation of themyriad of different create spirit spells

found today. But one thing is sure - thisspell has found a home both at sea,where the Create Rum spell is very

popular, and with adventuring clerics

who use it to take the edge off at the end

of the day.

Notes: Since distilled alcohol has a

higher concentration of alcohol to waterthan simple fermented drinks, this spell

can be used to create flammable areas

soaked with the liquid that can be lit by aspark such as from a flint and steel. In

addition, containers full of spirits have a

high alcohol concentration and are thus

susceptible to ignition.


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Age AlcoholTransmutation

Level: Clr 3 Pal 3 Sor/Wiz 3

Components: V, S, M

Casting Time: 1 Minute

Range: TouchTarget: 1 bottle of alcohol

Effect: Ages a bottle of alcohol to

perfection

Duration: Instantaneous

Saving Throw: Will Negates (Object)

Spell Resistance: Yes(Object)Description: The caster infuses the

bottle of alcohol with the energy of time.

This rapidly ages the contents of the

bottle until they reach their peak vintage.Alcohol aged this way has a full body

and aroma but may be missing some of

the subtle tones that natural barrel agingmight impart.

Material Component: A pinch of dustfrom a wine cellar or a silver of wood

from a barrel used to age alcohol.

History: When a fire ripped through the

aging cellars of Patrick Priory the monksfeared it would be there ruin as the

monasterys only source of income wasthe sale of brandy. Their fear, however,

was lifted when their prayers were

answered with the secret of this spell.The monks were able to continue selling

their brandy and raise the money to

repair their cellar.

Notes: OK, so this spell is just for

flavor. However, in the game where itwas invented we used this spell quite abit to save some money buying cheap

wine and aging it or helping out a

barkeep who accidentally destroyed theaged brandy he was holding for an

influential client. There are twocommon questions asked about this spell

are, why is it a level three spell and whatare the possible missing tastes

mentioned in the spell description? The

spell is third level because players coulduse it to make money hand over fist

selling cheap wine they aged. As for themissing tastes in the artificial agedalcohol, this is quite subtle so only the

most experienced connoisseur should be

able to tell the difference. It is mainly

intended to be used as a plot point.

InebriateEnchantment (Compulsion)Level: Brd 4Clr 3 Pal 3 Sor/Wiz 3

Components: V, S, M



Effect: The Person Touched BecomesInebriated

Duration: 1 Min/2 levels



Description: This spell causes the

target to become heavily inebriated (-2

Dex and Int, -4 Wis, +2 Con, +4 Cha)as if he had engaged in a night of

drinking.

Material Component: A mug of ale

downed by the caster during the casting

History: Created by the enchanter Kurt

Mauser so he could get even with acollege who accused him of always

being drunk when it counted. After

several weeks of study he found that hecould induce a severely intoxicated stateeven in someone who had not had a drop

of alcohol. He then cast the spell on the

college right before he was to addressthe mages council.


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Notes: Again this spell is designedmore for flavor than practicality. While

getting a thief or spellcaster drunk with

this spell might make her less efficient incombat, its main use was to create

embarrassing situations by getting atarget drunk before an important meetingor during negotiations. Furthermore, it

is important to note that the status effects

in brackets are just our interpretation of

severe intoxication. There are manysystems out there for dealing with

drunkenness and a game master should

feel free to substitute the acceptedeffects of being drunk in his game for

those listed in the description.

HammeredEnchantment (Compulsion)Level: Brd 4Clr 4 Pal 4 Sor/Wiz 4

Components: V, S, M



Effect: The Person Touched Becomes

Falling Over Drunk

Duration: 1 round/2 levels

Saving Throw: Fortitude NegatesSpell Resistance: Yes

Description: The target becomes so

drunk he is in a stupor and must make a

Reflex save (DC = 15) every round towalk. The victim cannot cast spells in

this condition and, due to lack of

coordination, attacks are made at -8 andcan only be made on rounds where the

Reflex save was a success. Thinking ishazy and requires a concentration check(DC=10) to speak in coherent sentences.

This skill prevents the use of any

dexterity-based skills and adds a -10 to

all intelligence or wisdom-based skills.

Material Component: A shot of pure

grain alcohol downed by the caster tostart the spell

History: The most powerfully offensivespell given to the clerics of The

Drunken God, Smashed has been used

to defend the gods temple from

temperance mobs and rival churches. Afew high ranking members of the church

also cast this spell on themselves as a

form of communing with their god in ablissfully stupefied state.

Notes: This is the most combat-worthy

spell in this book, with the possible

exception of Beer Muscles. It isparticularly handy against spellcasters

and can easily subdue an enemy healer

or mage.

Well, my young scholar, that concludes our look at how the love of drink can lead to theperversion of the mystic arts. I hope that you have learned from this treatise what tolook for as you try to avoid falling into the chaos and madness sowed by these depraved

drunkards.

Ebenezer Killjoy


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The Sages Must Be Crazy: Spells of Inebriation isCopyright 2009 Healing Fireball Publications

Healing Fireball logo is Copyright 2007 Healing Fireball

Publications.

The Sages Must Be Crazy logo Copyright 2008 HealingFireball Publications


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Raise a mug and give a cheer for the Spells of Inebriation.

For St. Patricks Day, your friends here at Healing Fireball Publications are proud to give

you The Sages Must Be Crazy: Spells of Inebriation. This product covers the unusual andoften chaotic spells of those spellcasters that love strong drink. This product contains

eleven spells based around a theme of alcohol. From the simple Bless Ale to the

devastating Hammered, these spells are designed to both put a smile on your face and

give you a collection of new tricks.

Its time to lighten up your world a little because the sages must be crazy.

www.HealingFireball.com

Healing Fireball Publications the Sages Must Be Crazy Spells of Inebriation

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