HALLOWEEN “DRIVING” U CRAZY?
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vol. LXVII/ no. 48/October 28 , 2020 [email protected] | denisonbullsheet.com | @DUBullsheet The Bullsheet, a forum for news, humor, and community dialogue, is funded by DCGA, se- cretly managed by James, and is printed each day that classes are in session. Submissions must be sent before our editors shamble into the office for next day submission via e-mail to:[email protected]. Submissions herein solely reflect the opinions of the authors. Edited last night by: Miss. Wagner Delivered this morning by: Mr. Kelsey HALLOWEEN “DRIVING” U CRAZY? Taking a drivers test is scary, but ya know what’s scarier? Experiencing Hal- loween on Dension’s campus (jk). This weekend, use this driver examination rubric that has been adapted as a checklist for Halloween on campus. HALLOWEEN EXAMINATION REPORT Name (First) (Middle) (Last) D Number Graduation Date Room Number Dorm Quad Birth Date Telephone Number Applicant Signature X EXAMINATION DATA Why are you out tonight? genuinel wan be u an enj Hallween wa frce b m frien gru g u ju n’ wan be alne Knowledge of Halloween on Campus Ability to spot Campo ............ .............. Hearing: did they say they have gas or need a place to crash? Normal Qualified Unsatisfactory Vision: is that ur crush or some- one else dressed up as Borat? Deficient Yes ........... .......... No Do the sunglasses really add anything to ur costume? ........... Score = F-Fair, P-Poor, U-Unsatisfactory Manuevers not scored are up to interpretation 1. Leaving ur dorm for the night and NOT already being at black out level 2. Walking up and down the hills without killing urself 3. Correctly guessing who said hi to u cuz u can’t recognize them in their costume + mask 4. Finding ur friend a place to pee 5. Not wandering all night and settling on somewhere 6. Actually sticking with the people in ur group costume all night 7. Finding a group of girls dressed as Playboy Bunnies 8. Running in mene wih a COVD heme c- tume 9. Successfully predicting what you archenemy from class was gonna dress up as (joker...duh) 10. Not losing ur swipe over the events of the night 11. Doing an angel/devil couple costume with ur boo & getting compared to Jesse R. & Devon L. C. 12. Having Campo compliment ur costume 13. Noticing the “devil’s advocate” kid from class dressed up as something politically incorrect 14. Having one (1) productive conversation with ur love interest 15. Having someone offer u a free condom 16. Ending the night and NOT having ur makeup/costume make you look like a hooker 17. Eating a single piece of mediocre Halloween candy 18. Giving the right of way to people dressed up as “The Purge” (give it up already) 19. Not getting left behind by the group 20. Not falling asleep in full costume F P U Recommended Restrictions N Mu be accmanie b rmae a all times N N allwe cnume Fireball fr he weekend N Wear a lea me warm clhe regar less of wanting to look “hot” N Can n be wihin __ f f a hku N N aring N Can n be cre N Can n cnume lae nigh becaue i will just be thrown up N N allwe lien a muic going out N N “wee alking Cam N Can n call aren N N ing n cial meia Most people learn from past partying mishaps, but for Halloween even the most tame become wild. Select the following restrictions that will save you from embarrassment. Qualified Unsatisfactory Examination Date Examiner Signature X *’m n ure wha wul “ermi aing fr hi, leae ue ur wn icrein -Betsy Wagner, New Driver!
Transcript of HALLOWEEN “DRIVING” U CRAZY?
vol. LXVII/ no. 48/October 28 , 2020
[email protected] | denisonbullsheet.com | @DUBullsheet
The Bullsheet, a forum for news, humor, and community dialogue, is funded by DCGA, se-cretly managed by James, and is printed each day that classes are in session. Submissions must be sent before our editors shamble into the office for next day submission via e-mail to:[email protected]. Submissions herein solely reflect the opinions of the authors.
Edited last night by: Miss. WagnerDelivered this morning by: Mr. Kelsey
HALLOWEEN “DRIVING” U CRAZY?Taking a drivers test is scary, but ya know what’s scarier? Experiencing Hal-loween on Dension’s campus (jk). This weekend, use this driver examination rubric that has been adapted as a checklist for Halloween on campus.
HALLOWEEN EXAMINATION REPORTName (First) (Middle) (Last) D Number Graduation Date
Room Number
Dorm Quad
Birth Date Telephone Number
Applicant SignatureX
EXAMINATION DATAWhy are you out tonight?🥺 I genuinely want t o be o ut and enjo y Hallo ween🥺 I was fo rced by my friend gro up t o go o ut 🥺 I jus t d o n’t want t o be alo ne
Knowledge of Halloween on Campus
Ability to spot Campo
🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺
............
..............
Hearing: did they say they have gas or need a place to crash? 🥺
🥺
Normal
Qualified Unsatisfactory
Vision: is that ur crush or some-one else dressed up as Borat?
🥺 🥺
Deficient
Yes
...........
..........
NoDo the sunglasses really add
anything to ur costume? 🥺 🥺 ...........
Score = F-Fair, P-Poor, U-UnsatisfactoryManuevers not scored are up to interpretation
1. Leaving ur dorm for the night and NOT already
being at black out level
2. Walking up and down the hills without killing urself
3. Correctly guessing who said hi to u cuz u can’t
recognize them in their costume + mask
4. Finding ur friend a place to pee
5. Not wandering all night and settling on somewhere
6. Actually sticking with the people in ur group
costume all night
7. Finding a group of girls dressed as Playboy Bunnies 8. Running int o s o meo ne wit h a COVI D t hemed co s -
tume
9. Successfully predicting what you archenemy from class
was gonna dress up as (joker...duh)
10. Not losing ur swipe over the events of the night
11. Doing an angel/devil couple costume with ur
boo & getting compared to Jesse R. & Devon L. C.
12. Having Campo compliment ur costume
13. Noticing the “devil’s advocate” kid from class dressed
up as something politically incorrect
14. Having one (1) productive conversation with ur love
interest
15. Having someone offer u a free condom
16. Ending the night and NOT having ur makeup/costume
make you look like a hooker 17. Eating a single piece of mediocre Halloween candy
18. Giving the right of way to people dressed up as “The
Purge” (give it up already) 19. Not getting left behind by the group
20. Not falling asleep in full costume
F P U
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Recommended Restrictions
🥺 No . 1 Mus t be acco mp anied by ro o mat e at all times🥺 No . 2 No t allo wed t o co ns ume Fireball fo r t he weekend🥺 No . 3 Wear at leas t s o me warm clo t hes regard - less of wanting to look “hot”🥺 No . 4 Can no t be wit hin __ ft o f p as t ho o kup 🥺 No . 5 No d art y ing🥺 No . 9 Can no t be cro s s ed 🥺 No . 1 1 Can no t co ns ume lat e night becaus e it will just be thrown up🥺 No . 1 7 No t allo wed t o lis t en t o s ad mus ic p o s t going out🥺 No . 2 5 No “s weet t alking” Camp o 🥺 No . 4 6 Can no t call p arent s 🥺 No . 9 9 No p o s t ing o n s o cial med ia
Most people learn from past partying mishaps, but for Halloween even the most tame become wild. Select the following restrictions that will save you from embarrassment.
🥺 Qualified 🥺 Unsatisfactory
Examination Date Examiner Signature
X*I ’m no t s ure what wo uld “p ermit ” p as s ing fo r t his , s o p leas e us e y o ur o wn d is cret io n -Betsy Wagner, New Driver!
Bull’s Last WordCharlie “pleasure” Schweiger, Managing Editor
Elizabeth “tomfoolery” Arterberry, Senior WriterBig Bo y Jo $h “ro mp ing” P03 , Senio r Writ erMaggie “living it up” Bell, Junior Writer
Blythe “jesting” Dahlem, Sophmore WriterEllie “escapade” Schrader, Sophomore Writer
William “recreation” Kelsey, Sophomore WriterEmma “junketing” Rutherford, Sophomore Writer
James “horseplay” Whitney, Junior EditorJack “merrymaking” May, Junior Editor
Betsy “japing” Wagner, Sophomore Editor Katie “jo llificat io n” Kerrigan, Head Writer
Staff “synonym for fun” BoxTrying to
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