B’nai Jeshurun Synagogue: 257 West 88th Street (between Broadway and West End Avenue)

Office: 2109 Broadway, Suite 203 • NYC, NY 10023-2106 • Tel: 212-787-7600

Hakamat Matzevah The Unveiling Ceremony

Hakamat Matzevah - The Unveiling Ceremony

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Introduction

The custom of placing a matzevah [grave-marker] at a gravesite can be traced back to our ancestors in the book of Genesis.

ית לה:יט כ-בראש

בר ק חל; ות ת, ר מ ותוא בית ה, ה ת דרך אפר ב

ה, חם. ויצב יעקב מצב לה-על ת בר וא מצבת --ק ה

ברת חל, עד-ק היום.-ר

Genesis 35:19-20

Then Rachel died. She was buried on the road to Ephrat - now

Bethlehem. Over her grave Jacob set up a matzevah; it is the matzevah at Rachel’s grave to this

day.

Following Jacob’s example, marking the placement of a matzevah at a loved one’s gravesite can indicate the

permanence of memory, and can serve as a demonstration of our commitment to remembering and honoring them.

The unveiling ceremony has few set rules, and can be performed whenever the family and friends of the deceased

feel is most appropriate. Some choose to perform this ceremony three to six months after the funeral, while others

wait until the end of the eleven-month period reserved for reciting kaddish, or until a full year has passed. This waiting period allows the mourners to go through many of the

traditional Jewish rituals designed to carry them through periods of loss, and helps them return in a formal way to the

gravesite after a period of reflection with the support of loved ones.

Hakamat Matzevah - The Unveiling Ceremony

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The basic structure of the unveiling ceremony involves:

I. The recitation of Psalms or other texts, either from

those provided in this packet (pick one or two) or of your own choosing.

II. A short dedication of the matzevah (either with the

text below or with your own words), followed by a chance for mourners to share memories and

reflections about the deceased. III. The chanting or reading of El Malei Rachamim [God

Full of Mercy], the funeral prayer, in Hebrew and/or

English, followed by a moment of silence. IV. Mourner’s Kaddish (if a minyan of ten Jews is

present).

The ceremony should conclude with mourners placing

stones or pebbles on the matzevah.

We hope that this ceremony will be helpful in supporting you through your period of loss.

Hakamat Matzevah - The Unveiling Ceremony

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I. Psalms and Other Traditional Readings

Choose one or two.

Psalm 15

Mizmor l'david, Adonai mi yagur

b'oholekha, mi yishkon b'har kodshekha

Holeikh tamim u’fo’eil tzedek, v’doveir emet bil’vavo Lo ragal al l’shono, lo asah

l’rei’ei’hu ra’ah, v’herpah lo nasah al k’rovo

Niv’zeh b’ei’nav nimas, v’et yir’ei Adonai y’kha’beid, nishba l’hara v’lo ya’mir

Kaspo lo natan b’neshekh, v’shohad al naki lo lakah, oseh

eileh lo yimot l’olam

תהלים טו

וד ד זמור ל י־יגור ’המ מ

שך: ד הר ק ן ב כ י־יש באהלך מים ופעל צדק ודבר מ הולך ת

בו: ב אמת בלה גל על־לשנו לא־עש לא־ר

א ה לא־נש פ ה וחר ע רעהו ר ל

רבו: על־קאי אס ואת־יר זה בעיניו נמ נב

רע ולא ’ה ה בע ל כבד נש יר: ימ

נשך ושחד פו לא־נתן ב כס

ח עשה־אלה ק י לא ל על־נקם: לא ימוט לעול

A Psalm of David: Adonai, who shall sojourn in your tent,

who may dwell on your holy mountain? One who lives without blame, who does what is right, and in their heart

acknowledges the truth; whose tongue is not given to evil; who has never done harm to their fellow, or borne reproach for [their acts toward] their neighbor; for whom a

contemptible person is abhorrent, but who honors those who fear Adonai; who stands by their oath even to their hurt; who

has never lent money at interest, or accepted a bribe against the innocent. The person who acts thus shall never be shaken.

Hakamat Matzevah - The Unveiling Ceremony

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Psalm 121

Shir la-ma’alot, esa einai el

he’harim, mei’ayn yavo ezri Ezri mei’im Adonai, oseh

shamayim va-aretz Al yi’tein la’mot rag’lekha, al ya’num shom’rekha

Hinei lo ya’num v’lo yi’shan shomeir yisrael

Adonai shomrekha, Adonai tzi’le’kha al yad y’minekha Yomam ha-shemesh lo

ya’ke’kah, v’yarei’ah ba-laylah Adonai yishmor’kha mikol ra,

yishmor et nafshekha Adonai yishmor tzei’tekha u’vo’ekha, mei’atah v’ad olam.

תהלים קכא

ים ר א עיני אל־הה יר למעלות אש ש

י: ן יבא עזר מאים י מע מים וארץ: ’העזר עשה ש

תן למוט רגלך אל־ינום אל־ירך: שמ

ן שומר נה לא־ינום ולא ייש ה

אל: ר ישרך ’ה ינך: ’השמ צלך על־יד ימ

רח י ם השמש לא־יככה ו יומה: בליל

מר את־ ’ה ע יש כל־ר ך מ ר מ יש

שך: נפה ’ה ך ובואך מעת ר־צאת מ יש

ם: ועד־עול

A song for ascents: I turn my eyes to the mountains; from

where will my help come? My help comes from Adonai, maker of heaven and earth. God will not let your foot give way; your guardian will not

slumber; See, the guardian of Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps! Adonai is your guardian, Adonai is your protection at

your right hand. By day the sun will not strike you, nor the moon by night. Adonai will guard you from all harm; God will guard your life. Adonai will guard your going and coming

now and forever.

Hakamat Matzevah - The Unveiling Ceremony

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תהילים אלך יש אשר לא ה א רי־ה אש

ים בעצת א דרך חט ים וב ע ש ר

מושב לצים לא ד וב מ לא עב: יש

תורת ם ב צו ’הכי א חפ

ה: יל ם ול גה יומ תו יה תור ובגי תול על־פל עץ ש יה כ וה

תו ע יו יתן ב ר ים אשר פ מ

להו לא־יבול וכל אשר־ ועיח:יע ל שה יצ

ם־כמץ ים כי א ע ש ר לא־כן הפנו רוח: ד אשר־ת

ים ע ש על־כן לא־יקמו ר

ים בעדת א ט וחט פ ש במים: יק צדים ודרך ’הכי־יודע יק דרך צד

ים תאבד: ע ש ר

Psalm 1

Ashrei ha-ish asher lo halakh ba-

atzat r’sha’im u’v’derekh hata’im lo amad , u’v;moshav leitzim yashav.

Ki im b’torat Adonai heftzo, u’v’torato ye’he’geh yomam va’laylah.

V’hayah k’eitz shatul al palgei mayim asher pir’yo yitein b’ito

v’alei’hu lo yibol, vkhol asher ya’aseh yatzliah. Lo khein ha’r’sha’im ki im ka’motz

asher tid’fenu ru’ah. Al kein lo ya’kumu r’sha’im ba-

mishpat, vhata’im ba’adat tzadikim. Ki yodeia Adonai derekh tzadikim,

v’derekh r’shaim to’veid.

Blessed is the one who never follows the advice of the wicked, who never lingers with sinners, nor joins the company of scoffers, but delights in the Torah of Adonai,

meditating on it both day and night. Like a tree planted by streams, producing fruit in its season, and whose foliage

never withers, they prosper in all they undertake. It is not so with the wicked; they are like wind-driven chaff. The wicked shall not be upheld when their life is judged, nor will the

sinners remain in the company of the righteous. The way of the just finds favor with God; the way of the wicked leads to

destruction.

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קהלת גל־חפץ תחת כ ן ועת ל מ לכל ז

ים: מ השטעת מות עת ל לדת ועת ל עת ל

ועת לעקור נטוע:פוא עת ר רוץ עת להרוג ועת ל פ ל

נות: ב ועת לפוד חוק עת ס ש כות ועת ל ב עת ל

קוד: ועת רנים ועת כנוס יך אב ל הש עת לחק ר נים עת לחבוק ועת ל אב

מחבק:מור ש אבד עת ל בקש ועת ל עת ל

יך: ל הש ועת לרוע ועת ק פור עת עת ל ת ל

דבר: לחשות ועת לה מ ח ל נא עת מ ש עת לאהב ועת ל

לום: ועת ש

Ecclesiastes 3

La’kol zman v’eit lkhol heifetz

tahat hashamayim. Eit la-ledet v’eit la-mut, eit la-

ta’at v’eit la-akor na’tua. Eit la-harog v’eit lir’poa, eit lif’rotz v’eit livnot. Eit livkot v’eit

lis’hok, eit s’fod v’eit rikod. Eit l’hashlikh avanim v’eit k’nos

avanim, eit lahavok v’eit lirhok mei’habeik. Eit l’vakeish v’eit l’abeid, eit

lishmor v’eit l’hashlikh. Eit likroa v’eit litpor, eit lahashot

v’eit l’dabeir. Eit le’e’hov v’eit lis’no, eit milhamah v’eit shalom.

A season is set for everything, a time for every experience under heaven. A time for being born and a time for dying.

A time for planting and a time for uprooting the planted. A time for slaying and a time for healing.

A time for tearing down and a time for building up. A time for weeping and a time for laughing. A time for wailing and a time for dancing.

A time for throwing stones and a time for gathering stones. A time for embracing and a time for shunning embraces.

A time for seeking and a time for losing. A time for keeping and a time for discarding. A time for ripping and a time for sewing.

A time for silence and a time for speaking. A time for loving and a time for hating.

A time for war and a time for peace.

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II. Dedication

Remove the covering over the matzevah if present, and read

what is written on it. Then recite:

In the name of the family of _________ and in the presence

of (his) / (her) family (and friends) we consecrate this monument to (his) / (her) memory, as a token of our love and

respect.

For a woman:

T'hi nishmatah

tzru’rah bitror ha-hayim

For a man:

T'hi nishmato

tzru’rah bitror ha-hayim

ה( ת מ תו( | )נש מ י )נש ה ת

צרור החיים ה ב צרור

May (his) / (her) soul be bound up in the bond of life. Almighty God, eternal Creator, we are thankful for the life of

__________, for the years which (he) / (she) was granted, and for the privilege of having shared those years. May the

memory of (his) / (her)

devotion to family (and

friends), and love for them gentleness and

thoughtfulness integrity and dedication

goodness

warmth and friendship patience and courage under

affliction loyalty to the tradition of our people

continue to inspire us, that we may live a better life. Adonai,

help all who mourn __________ honor (his) / (her) memory through their daily lives. Comfort them, and grant them strength, for You are our Rock and Redeemer. Amen.

Allow family and friends to share memories and reflections

about the deceased. In what ways have their influence and memory been felt since their death?

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III. El Malei Rachamim

Chant or read in Hebrew and/or English

כינה, -א ה נכונה על כנפי הש נוח צא מ ים, המ רומ ים שוכן במ לא רחמ ל מ

מת ים את נש יר יע מזה ק ר ים, כזוהר ה הור ים וט דוש מעלות ק בהלך ______ בן( | )בת(______ ) הלכה ) | לעולמו( )ש בגן ה(לעולמ ש

הא ים, ) (.)מנוחתו( | )מנוחתה עדן ת רחמ ירהו( | אנא בעל ה הסתירה( סתר כנפיך )הסת צרור החיים את ) ב ים, וצרור ב מ נשמתו( |לעול

לום על )וינוח( | )ותנוח( נחלתו( | )נחלתה(,, ה' הוא )נשמתה() בש

שכבה(,) שכבו( | )מ ונאמר אמן מ

For a man:

El malei rahamim, shokhen bam'romim,

hamtzei menuhah nekhonah al kanfei hashekhinah,

b’ma'alot kedoshim ute'horim, kezohar harakia mazhirim, et nishmat

________ben _________

Shehalakh leolamo, b’gan eden tehei menuhato, ana ba'al harahamim,

has’ti’rei’hu b’seter kenafekha l'olamim, u’tzror

bitzror hahayim et nismato, Adonai hu nahalato, v’yanuah beshalom

al mishkavo, v’nomar amen.

For a woman:

El malei rahamim, shokhen bam'romim,

hamtzei menuhah nekhonah al kanfei hashekhinah,

b’ma'alot kedoshim ute'horim, kezohar harakia mazhirim, et nishmat

_______bat _________

shehalkhah l’olamah, b’gan eden tehei menuhatah, ana ba'al harahamim,

has’ti’rei’ah b’seter kenafekha l'olamim, u’tzror

bitzror hahayim et nishmatah, Adonai hu nahalatah, v’tanuah beshalom

al mishkavah, v’nomar amen.

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Exalted, compassionate God, grant infinite rest, in Your sheltering Presence, among the holy and pure, to the soul of

__________, who has gone to (his) / (her) eternal home.

Merciful One, we ask that our loved one find perfect peace in

Your eternal embrace. May (his) / (her) soul be bound up in the bond of life. May (he) / (she) rest in peace. And let us

say: Amen.

Allow for a moment of silence

IV. Mourner’s Kaddish

If there are ten Jews present, recite:

מה רבא קדש ש ית גדל ו יתא אמן() י בר א ד מ בעל

ליך מלכותה ימ עותה, ו כרכל חיי ד חייכון וביומיכון וב ב

זמן אל, בעגלא וב ר בית ישרו מ יב, וא ר .אמןק

לם ע רך ל ב א מ מה רב יהא שמיא. ל מי ע ל ע ול

ת יש רך ו ב פאר ית ית בח ור הד ית נשא ו ית רומם ו ית ו

מה הלל ש ית עלה ו ית ון עלא מ יך הוא, ל ר א ב ש קד ד

א ת יר א וש כת ר כל בן יר א, דאמ ת א ונחמ ת ח ב תש

רו מ א, וא מ .אמןבעל

Yitgadal v'yitkadash sh'mei raba (amen) b'alma di-v'ra khirutei,

v'yamlikh malkhutei b'hayeikhon uvyomeikhon uvhayei d'khol beit

yisrael, ba'agala uvizman kariv, v'im'ru: amen.

Y'hei sh'mei raba m'varakh l'alam ul'almei almaya.

Yitbarakh v'yishtabah, v'yitpa'ar v'yitromam v'yitnaseh, v'yithadar

v'yit'aleh v'yit'halal sh'mei d'kud'sha, b'rikh hu, l'eila min-kol-

birkhata v'shirata, tushb'hata v'nehemata da'amiran b'alma, v'im'ru: amen.

Hakamat Matzevah - The Unveiling Ceremony

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ן א רבא מ מ ל מיא, יהא ש שאל, ר לינו ועל כל יש חיים ע ו

רו מ .אמןוא

יו, הוא רומ מ לום ב עשה ש

לינו ועל כל לום ע יעשה שאל ועל כל ר בי תבל, -יש יש

רו מ .אמןוא

Y'hei shlama raba min-sh'maya v'hayim aleinu v'al-kol-yisrael, v'im'ru: amen.

Oseh shalom bimromav, hu

ya'aseh shalom aleinu v'al kol-yisrael, v’al-kol-yoshvei tevel, v'imru: amen.

May God’s great name be exalted and hallowed throughout

the created world, as is God’s wish. May God’s sovereignty soon be established, in your lifetime and in your days, and in the days of all the House of Israel. And respond with: Amen.

May God’s great name be acknowledged forever and ever!

May the name of the Holy One be acknowledged and celebrated, lauded and worshipped, exalted and honored,

extolled and acclaimed - though God, who is blessed, b’rikh hu, is truly far beyond all acknowledgment and praise, or any expressions of gratitude or consolation ever spoken in the world. And respond with: Amen.

May abundant peace from heaven, and life, come to us and to all Israel. And respond with: Amen.

May the One who brings harmony on high, bring harmony to us and to all Israel, and to all the inhabitants of the world. And respond with: Amen.

Invite mourners to place stones on the matzevah before leaving.

B’nai Jeshurun Synagogue: 257 West 88th Street (between Broadway and West End Avenue)

Office: 2109 Broadway, Suite 203 • NYC, NY 10023-2106 • Tel: 212-787-7600