Habit 4 (SeungBum)
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Transcript of Habit 4 (SeungBum)
•Have an everyone-can-win attitude. Thinking
win-win is a frame of mind and heart that seeks
mutual benefit and is based on mutual respect
in all interactions. It’s not about thinking
selfishly (win-lose) or like a martyr (lose-win).
Habit 4 Think Win-Win
•In our work and family life, members think
interdependently -- in terms of “we,” not “me.”
Thinking win-win encourages conflict resolution
and helps individuals seek mutually beneficial
solutions. It’s sharing information, power,
recognition, and rewards.
Habit 4 Think Win-Win
What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each
other?
-George Eliot, Author
Think Win-Win is an attitude toward life, a mental frame of mind that
says I can win, and so can you. It’s not me or you, it’s both of us. Think Win-
Win is the foundation for getting along well with other people. It begins with
the belief that we are all equal, that no one is inferior or superior to anyone
else, and no one really needs to be.
Thinking Win-Win
That’s not how life really is. Life really isn’t about competition or
getting ahead of others, or scoring in the 95th percentile. It may be that way in
business, sports, and school, but those are merely institutions that we’ve
created. It’s certainly not that way in relationships.
Thinking Win-Win
Win lose is always full of pride in whatever happens between two
things.
A Win-Lose attitude wears many faces. The following are some of them:
● Using other people, emotionally or physically, for your own selfishness.
● Trying to get ahead at the expense of another
● Spreading rumors about someone else (As if putting someone else down
builds you up).
● Always insisting on getting your way without concerning yourself with
the feelings of others.
● Becoming jealous and envious when something good happens to someone
close to you.
Win-Lose
● Lose-Win is weak. It’s easy to get stepped on. It’s easy to be the nice guy.
It’s easy to give in, all in the name of being a peace maker.
● With a Lose-Win attitude you’ll find yourself setting low expectations and
compromising your standards again and again.
● If you adopt Lose-Win as your basic attitude toward life, then people will
wipe their dirty feet on you.
Lose-Win
● ›Usually happens when two win-lose people get
together.
● ›It will happen if you are not careful.
● ›It happens when two people who wants to win at all
costs meets.
● ›It also can happen if one person become obsessed in
another person in a negative way.
Lose-Lose: The Downward Spiral
● ›Is a believe that everyone can win.
● ›Ex. If won’t step you but I won’t dormat you either.
● ›It is considered abundant.
● ›Both sides are happy and got what they want.
● ›More than enough for everybody.
Win-win: The all you can Eat Buffet
● ›It all begins with you.
● ›Win the private victory first.
● ›Take thins easy.
● ›Personal security is the foundation for thinking.
How to Think Win-win
● ›Sometimes it can be extremely healthy.
● ›It drives us to improve and do better.
● ›Without it we would never how much we can do and
achieve.
● ›It will become dark when you tie your self-worth into
winning or when you use it as a way use it as a way to
place yourself above another.
Competing
● Competing can be extremely healthy. It helps up to improve, to reach and
stretch.
● We need it to know how far we need to push.
● Creating self-image relatives.
● Building your life based on how you stack up compared to others is never
good footing.
Competing
● Comparing yourself to others is nothing but bad bad news.
● Everyone is all different socially, mentally, and physically.
● Life is like an obstacle course, each person has their own course,
separated from every other course by tall walls.
Comparing
● On daily bases we meet moments the steal our self-esteem.
● There is always someone who seems smarter another more self-assured,
still another more talented.
● If you base your self-esteem, you're feeling of self-worth, on anything
outside the quality of your heart, your mind, and your sole.
On Feeling Inferior
● The first step to admitting the you have a problem is to looking back and
comparing your self back then and your self now.
● Second step is to improve your self consider asking other people about
how you could change.
● Keep changing and climbing to the top.
● Just watch yourself as you change and as time goes by.
---Continue---
● Her problems began in freshman year when she entered Clayton valley
High School.
● How you dressed is everything.
● Her boyfriend was making her feel self-conscious.
● Ahw had anxiety attacks because she couldn’t decide what to wear.
● She began shoplifting.
● She never felt good enough for anyone.
● She was scared of being fat.
● She throws up 30-40 times a day.
● She didn’t tell her parents.
● She passed out on stage while performing a play.
Anne
● She woke up in the dressing room with her mom by her side and she
whispered to her mom that she needed help.
● It took several years for her to recover.
● She had everything she needed to be happy yet she was so miserable.
● She want to tell the world that “Don’t ever do this to yourself. It’s not
worth it.”
Anne (continue)
● It could help you and the other feel better.
● It would make your attitude better.
● Examples: Andy is an employee and he told himself to work hard and
think that it will make his job more fun and that will be a win-win for both
him and his employer.
● Jon and his sister is always arguing about who to walk the dog or clean the
dishes so Jon think of a win-win solution for this problem. They both
would do both things at the same time.
The Fruits of the Win-Win Spirit
● Examples: Steve and Bryan wanted to make money on summer break so
they decided to do window washing. They wanted to do a win-win for
them and their customer so they have a set price for windows and when
they finished washing they would walk the customer around to see their
work. They wanted thier customer to know they’re accountable.
The Fruits of the Win-Win Spirit
(continue)
● Developing a Win-Win attitude is not easy.
● If you already have a little win-win attitude in your mind start developing
it more and more and it will become a habit.
● True test of whether or not you are thinking Win-Win or one of the
alternatives is how you feel.
● Win-lose and Lose-Win thinking will cloud your judgment and fill you
with negative feelings.
● Thinking Win-Win fill you heart with happy and serene thoughts.
● It will give your confidence and fill you with light.
Watch How It Makes You Feel