Libretto I Vocal Book

A Musical Fable of Broadway

Based on a story and characters by DAl\110 RUNYO

Music and Lyrics by

FRANK LOESSER Book by

JO SWERLING and ABE BURROWS

NOTICE: DO NOT DEFACE! • Should you find it necessary to mark cues or cuts, use soft black pencil only. NOT FOR SALE • This book is rented for the period specified in your contract. It remains the property of:

Music Theatre Tncernacional JOSEF WEINBERGER LTD. 12 ~ 14 Mortimer Street London W IT 3JJ tel: 020 7580 2827

CHARACTCRS

(In order of appearn11ce)

NICELY-NICELY JOHNSON

BENNY SOUTHWF5T

RUSTY CHARLIE

SARAH BROWN

ARVIDE ABERNATHY

AGATJJA }

CALVIN members of the MISSION BAND

MARTIIA

I lARRY THE HORSE

LT. BRANNiGAN

NATI IAN DETROIT

CRAPSHOOTERS

ANGIE THE OX

MISS ADELAIDE

SKY MASTERSON

JOEY BILTMORE

MIMl

GENERAL MATILDA B. CARTWRIGHT

BIGJULE

MASTER OF CEREMONIES

ALLISON }

FERGUSON GIRL DANCERS

VERNON

DRUNK

WAITER

-iii-

Mu s i CAL NuMBERS

Ot,erfu rc ............................................ .................................................................... 1

#1- OpeuinxfRuuyoulnud ................................. ............................................... ..... 1

ACT I, S CENl 1: BROADWAY

#2- Fugue for Tiu/10ms ........................... ...................... .

#3- Follow tlze Fold ........ ............... .................. .............. .

#3n- Exit of Snrn/1 n11d tile Mission Band ................... .

#4- Tile Oldest £stnblislzed ....... .... .................. ..

#5- Follow tlw Fold- Reprise .................. .

ACT [, SCENE II: INfCRIOR SAVE-A-SOUl MJSSIO\

#6- I'll Know .................. .. ................. ..... ......... .

#6n - l11ter/ude ...... ..... ........ ... ..... ....... .... ...... ..

#6b - Vocnl Finish ......... ... ................. ........... .

#6c- Chn11ge of Scene ....................... ... ..... .

ACT I, SCENE Ill: PllOl\ E BOOTH

#7- Fnufnre ..................... ... .

ACT I, SCI:.NE IV: Tilt HOT BO'\ - );JGHICLt

#7n- Bushel nud n Peck ..... .

# 7h- Home, Sweet Homt• ........... ..

#8- Adelaide's Lnmcut ... .......... .

#Bn- Change of Scme .......... .

#9- 0Fiellillg SCI!IIt' 5 ......... .

ACT I, S CL'JE v: A STREIT On B5.0.\.L~

#10- Guys & Doll::. ......... .

#11 - Opwi11g- SWit' 6 ... ..

ACT I, S CENE VI: MISSIO\ ExTERIOR

#12- Clln11gc of ~n·11c

ACT I, ScE:-.. E '11: SrRrrr OFF BRo~

#13-£11dofS.t'.- .

# 14- Hm.•all•l ........... .

ACT I, S CE\ E' 111: H"'"''~ C M - ~ D:n

ACT I, S C£\ E 1\: HA\ "~" £:\~

# 15 - If 1 1 \crt' J Bt

# 16- Clza11ge o• Scm!'

. .................. .... 3

.. ......................... 5

.. ......... ...... 7

. ........ .... 11

............. .22

.. ........ .. .. 31

.. ... ...... .... 34

. ........... .. .. 34

.. ....... . 34

. ....... 37

. ....... 38

........ ..lO

.. ...... 47

.. ...... 48

. ...... 49

. ...... 50

.. .. ... 53

..... .. 56

.. .. 63

...... 63

....... 67

...... 70

ACT I, ScrNF x: Mtssro EXTIRJoR

#17- Mtt 'flmt• of Day ........................................................................................... 72

# 17n- l't•e Ner•cr Bee11 In Lot•e Before ................................................................... 73

#18- Tile Raul ...................................................................................................... 74

#19-Curtm/1 Mu<:ic ............................................................................................. 76

#20- Entr'acte ................................................ ...................................................... 77

ACT 11, ScrNr t: TilE Ho r Box N IGHTCLUB

#21- l lo l Box fanfare ................. .................. ...... ... ...... ......................................... 77

#21a- Take Bnck Your M ink .. ...... .. ........ .............. .. ....... .. .. ..................................... 77

#22- 1\rle/aitle's Seco11d l. a iiiCIIf' .. ... . .. ................... .. ..... . . .... .... . .... . ............. . ......... .. . 83

#22a- Clm11ge of Sce11c .............. .. ..... ................... .... .... ................................. ..... ... 83

ACT II, S CI!NE II: T ill: WEST FORTIES

#23- More 1 Cm111ot Wisll You ..................... .... ..................................................... 85

#24- Clwu~c of Set•ue ........................................................................................... 87

ACT II, S CENE Ill: C RAP G A.\1E 1:-.1 THE S EWER

24a- Tile crn,slwc>lt'l 's Dt111CC .............................................................................. 87

#25 -1 uck Be a Lady ................................................................................ .......... .. 99

# 16- Clln11~c of Scene ........................................................................................ 102

ACT II, Scr' r tv: A Srnrrr Orr BRO ADWAY

#27- Sue lvfc ................................................... .... ................................................ 106

#27n- ClwnJ.:e of Scene .............................. ... .... .. .... ............................................. 109

ACT II, S CJ:NI' v: INt FIUOI~ OF MISSION

#28- Sit Dow11, You're f{ockin' tile Boat ...................................... .. ... .... .. ....... .. .... 114

#29-TIIe Guys f vllaw ll1e Fold .. ...... .. ............ .. ............ .. ......... .... ..... ................... 118

ACT II, Scr.Nt vt: NtcuT- S1 REn Orr BROADWAY

#29a-/\delaidc Meets Sarah .................. ..... ...... .... .. .... ......................................... 118

#30-Marry /lie Man Today ............... .. ........ ....................................................... 122

#31 - fiualc Act 2 ............................................................................................... 126

ACT II, SnNl vu: B ROADWAY

#31 a- Lnlrtii/CC of \tfi~sion 8a11d ......................................................................... 128

#32- Tile llnpplf E11e/ing ..................................................................................... 129

- v -

SONG S BY

CHARAC TE R

ADELAIDE

# 7a- Buslwl a11tf a Peck ... . ... . 38

#8- Adelaide's Ltwtellt .... ... .47

#21a- Take Back Your Mink .... .77

#22 -Adelaide's l11d Lame11l ... . 83

#27 - Sue Me ............. . 106

#29a- Adelaide Meet:. Sarah .. . 118

#30-Mnrry tlte Ma11 Today .... 122

#32- Tile Happy £11rfing ...... 129

ARVIDE

#3- Follow the Fold ........... 5

#23- More 1 Ca111101 Wis/1 You .. . 85

#32- Tlte Happy Emlill& ...... 129

BE:---~y

#2- Fugue for Ti11ltom:; ....... . 3

#4 - The Oldest Cslnblislwrl .... . 11

#10 - Guys & Dolls .......... . 50

#32 - Tlte IJnppy £1/(fiug ...... 129

CRAP SHOOTERS

#4- file Oldest E:'lablt~l!cd .... . 11

#25- Luck Be a Ladt! ..... 99

#28 -Sit Dow11, Yc)u'rt Rockin ' iii(?

Boat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .n.;. #29- The Guys Follow the Fold .118

#32 - The HllJIPY £11rli11g .. ... . 129

GIRL DANCERS

# 7a- Busl!eln11d tl Peck ....... . 38

#21a- Take Back Your Mi11k .... .II

#32- Tile Hnpp11 C11dm~ ...... 129

MISSION BA!\D

#3- Follow 1/w Fold ...... .... . :J

#5- Follow the Fold- Re11me .. . 2]

#32- The Happy £11di118 ..... . 129

:-..ATHA\.

#4- Tltc: Old<?>:t E.;;tab/t.;;hed ... . . 11

#17- Sut Ale ..•.... . ... . . . 106

#3.:?- Tlte Httppy E11dil1g ..... . 129

\.ICEL)

#.:?- F:t~ur ft•r Tflli!Mih ....... . 3

#4- Tile Ot.it ~! £,.fabhslu:>d .... . 11

# 10 - Guu- & Dt•lls ...... .... . 50

#18- Stt Ott'''' )ou'n: Rocki11' lite

Boat ......... ...... .... . 114

#31- Tile Happ}l E11di11g . .... . 129

RliSTY

#.:?- Fu ue for Tmi1M11~ ... .... .3

;:3.:?- Tile Hcippy £11dmg ..... . 129

SARAH

=3 - Follou: tlrt• Ftl/d ....... . ... 5

=5 - I'll KtiOil' ••.• .•. . ... .31

=6b- ~oral F1 I:'lz ••••••• .. .• . 34

= j.;.- HaL'tiTil1 •............ . . 63

=15 - F 1 !''.'ert' a Bdl .... ..... . 67

= 1 -a - lt'eN,~~uBtYII ........ . 73

=19.a-Ad£'laidc ,\led~ Sam/1 .. . 118

=30 - 1\it1rry tile ,\Ian Tvrltty ... . 122

=32- T11i' H11ppy E11di11g . .... . 129

=6 -I'll Kn"w .... ..... .. ... . 31

=1.; -Ha;:nua ...... ....... . 63

:q ; -My Timt. o.:- Day .. ....... 72

= 1 7a -1 .. e :\t·r. cr Bem ... ........ 73

= 25 - l.ud: Be a !.ady ... ...... . 99

=31 - Tlze H·!lpy Eudm~ . . ... . 129

GUYS & DOL LS

Overture

At jinisl1 of Overture, Curtain lights from balcony rail dim out. Behind translucent show curtain, stage lights dim up.

#1- Opening/Runyonland

ACT I, Scene i: Broadway

After eight bars of music Show Curtain opens­

Broadway Atmosphere routine

Discovered stage center are two shady Broadway characters. MAN with newspaper crosses from R.2 to L.2 and Exits.

BOBBlE SOXERS enter L.2 -exit R.2.

SIGHTSEEING GUIDE and SIGHTSEERS enter L.l.

ACTOR and ACTRESS enter L.2, cross to L.l.

One of tlze shady Broadway characters is flipping a coin- tlze other snapping his fingers. They both glance offstage R. and L. obviously looking for a pickup.

AN. Y. POLICEMAN Swinging a club enters from R.2, strolling. He exits R.l.

TWO CHORUS GIRLS wearing slacks enter from R.1 . They exit L.1 . TWO VERY ANIMATED BOBBY SOXERS enter from L.2, carrying autograph books and pencils- they rush off R.l.

TWO WELL DRESSED STREET WALKERS enter from R.2, stop at L.C. and flirt with the two shady characters- one of the shady clwracters flips the coin- they take 1WO CRORUS GIRLS by the arms and escort them offL.2.

A MAN rushes on from L.2, and exits hurriedly R.J..

An ELDERLY WOMAN STREET VENDOR dressed slwbbily and carrying a shoulder tray containing apples, gardenias, m1d pretzels on sticks enters from L.2 and slowly exi fs stage R.2.

A SIGHTSEEING TEXAN and HIS WIFE enter from R.l. He is carrying a sigl!tseeing lllap a11d wears a watch and chain across his vest.

A SIDEWALK PHOTOGRAPHER enters from L.1 carrying a camera, tmd order blank. He snaps the TEXAN and HIS WIFE who pose for the photographer- PHOTOGRA­PHER hand.s order blank to TEXAN wlzo signs it and gives money to /zim in payment T11e TEXAN and HIS WIFE exit L.l. The PHOTOGRAPHER looks after tl1em, crum­ples up the order blauk and throws it away.

- 1 -

- 2 - GU\'S & DOIJ :O

AN ACTRESS enters from R.l, dressed very elegan tly, carrying a l01rg cigarette holder. Site is escorted by an ACTOR dressed in a tuxedo- the ht•Cl BOBBY SOXERS have followed tlrem 011 from R.1. Tirey have tire ACTOR and ACTRESS autograph their books- as tire Actor and Actress tum upstage to EXIT L.2, a sign pam ted "PESSIMO CIGARS" is revealed. THE BOBBY SOXERS exit R.1.

A MAN PAPER DOLL VENDOR and his LADY ASSISTANT enter from R.2, pusfli11g a trick convertible vehicle which converts into n lmlly buggtt. They e·rit L.1.

A HEAVYWEIGHT PRIZEFIGHTER with cauliflower ear~ c.nfers from R.l, skipping rope. His MANAGER ellters with ltis instructions as THEY cross till! ~tage and exit L.1.

PAPER DOLL VENDOR mrd !tis ASSISTANTenterfrom L.1 with r•elricle- they set it up at stage center. LADY ASSISTANT pulls out black tlrnmd- HE sets paper doll 011

//tread- SHE lllflllipulates tire paper doll on the black thread- THEY see lliC POLICE wlto enter from R2. They quickly pull the trigger which com·ats the Pdricle into a baby l111ggy- they 11od very graciously to the policemmr as tllcttpns:: him- HE nods, then suddenly he realizes lte ltas been tricked, msltes off R.1, clm"i11g thc.'lll.

A SJGHTSELING GUIDE enters from R.1, follozced l1}f a .;:roup of Sl.'i'&?ll or eight siglrt­seers including tire TEXAN amllri~ l'\ TFE <clro 11re i ''-. :" .. ..,:!lie ~roup. Tire STGHTSEEING GUIDE is poilrting to ol~ect~ of il::.: .. ,: l ..,'CkPOCkET enters from R.2, goes to Texa11 and points to a tall building aud .~: ._- _·~.... \:. • \'I:' ltloki11g up Ire steals t11e Texmr's wntclr and c/rai11. Tire TEXAX zmd lzi~ I\7FE e:r1f L.l.

1WO STREET WALKERS eutc!r from L.2. THEY :ro.:.: ;o p.t:!:pod:et aud flirt witlr /rim rmd relieve l1im of the watclr and drain he ~;ole frm•: :he Taan. Thr-_1 :nkc! fltl PICK­POCKET by file arm and r>el'}f lronclmlantJ;, ::roll o::-R..: &M;Jz lrim.

TEXAN and lri~ WIFE rusl1 011 from R.2 1: I~ veru .:7:irot tbt he lw~ :-rtddenly discov­ered tire loss of Iris watclr a11d rs mteu~ :.p 1: ~a~cJrml( • ., p:rq:«·£i - THEY exit R.1.

A BLiND MAN carrying a cane, tin attl inlzi:-1-mnd g~~ -TZd ic-e.lrillg a sigH "BLIND" enters jro111 R.1. l-Ie feels Jzis i..."'J ~•!cr .... !v ""~..·1mt~ -=!iN~.

PAPER DOLL VCNDOR mrd lliE LID~ ~S.:7-:- .. ,. rn~c ~ L1 amf ~et up t1reir vel!icle nt stage center - ns tl!cy do :.o :he}.:_ ... -. =· TlOR •• ... - rz, a ardfc! as/res i11to Blhrrl Man's tin cup- BLIND lvf.AS loo~E at ihE A; • , ..... \PER DOLL VENDOR looks offstage R., set:E POUCE fA.N. ,..._~ vehicle nnd ruslres off L.1- BLIXD .\f..-1 . ..\" tm: = __ PICKPOCKCT, SIDEWALk C\.\IERA.c\ :.4~ r. ­POLICEMAN, TEXAN n11d l11:; l\TFE- :lit"J e;n; _: •

off L.1 after /Item venJ excitedly.

BENNY SOUTHSTREET euler!- fran: R.1 .;Jreet.

• ·o; a radrr~ ~crntclr

GU)'S & D OLLS

PRIZEFIGHTER, shadow boxing, enters from L.2, followed by his MANAGER. Tile PRJZEFIGHTER, not seeing Benny, runs into him accidentally. If£ is knocked down by the force of BENNY's head against his solar plexus. PRIZEFIGHTER, frightened and 11ot knowing really what happened, nms off R.l, followed by Iris MANAGER. BENNY strniglrtens his /rat w/ric/1 lms been dented by tire collision.

BENNY rwcol!cemedly joins NICELY-NICELY JOHNSON, wlro has e11tered at this moment from stage L.1, finis/ring a bottle of Coca-Cola mrd is at the newsstand buying a scratch slreet from the newsmmr.

RUSTY CHARLIE enters from L.2, reading a scratch sheet -tlrey group together and sing-

#2 - F11guc for Tinlwrus

NICELY

I GOT THE HORSE RIGHT HERE

THE ~AME IS PAUL REVERE

(TWO 51 REETWALKERS e11ter R.2 -stand watching BENNY, NTCLLY and RUSTY)

AI D HERC'S A GUY THAT SAYS

IF THE WEATHCR'S CLEAR

CA. DO, CAN DO.

Tl liS GUY SAYS Ti lE HORSE CAN DO

IF HE SAYS THE HORSE CAN DO,

CA. DO, CAr--. DO.

NICELY

(Crosses toR., passing RUSTY)

Ct\N DO,

BENNY

(Sirows slteef to RUSTY)

I'M PlCKlN' VALENTINE,

- 3 -

CA DO.

fl ILS GUY SAYS TilE IIORSE

CA~ DO

'CAUSE ON THE MORNING LINE

Tl IE GUY J lAS GOT HIM FIGURCD

AT FIVE TO , INE

NICELY

IF I IE St\YS Tl IE I IORSE

CA1 DO,

Ct\. DO,

CAl\ DO.

BENNY

llt\5 CI lA CE,

liAS CHAt--:CE,

TI ILS GUY SAYS THE HORSE

HASCHA, CE

RUSTY

(Crosses to R. of Benny)

BUT LOOK AT CPITAPI I

HE WI 5 IT BY A IIAL.F,

ACCORDI\,G T011115 HERE

Ii\ THE TEL[GRAPII

- 4 -

(N ICELY)

FOR PAUL J~EVERE I'LL BJTE

I HEAR HIS FOOT'S ALL RIGHT

OF COURSE lT ALL DEPENDS

IF IT RAINED LAST NTGHT

LIKES MUD,

LIKES MUD,

THIS "X" MEA~S THE HORSE

LIKES\1LD

IF THAT ~1EA 15 THE HORSE

LIKES MUD,

LIKES

MUD,

LIKES MUD.

I TELL YOU PAUL REVERE

NOW THIS IS NO BUM STEER

IT'S FROM A HANDICAPPER

THAT'S REAL SINCERE

CAN DO,

CAN DO,

THIS GUY SAYS TH E HORSE

CANDO

JF HE SAYS THE HORSE

CAN DO,

CA DO,

CAN DO.

PAUL REVERE,

I GOT THE HORSE

RIGHT

HERE.

GUY S & D OLL S

(B ENNY)

IF HE SAYS THE HORSE

HAS CHA."JCE,

HAS CHA?--JCE,

HAS CHA7"CE.

I K'-JOW IT'S YALE."\JL.'\.1:

THE }.fOR:"I:-.:G WORKS

LOOK fh'\'E

BESIDES THE JOCKEY'S

BROTHER'S A FRIEND OF MINE

NEEDS RACE,

NEEDS RACE,

THIS

GUY SAYS THE HORSE

NEEDS RACE.

JF HE SAYS THE HORSE

NEEDS RACE,

EEDS RACE,

NEEDS RACE,

I GO FOR VALE:"TL'\'E

' CAGSE 0:'-: Tiil:

!\10RXL"\G LISE

THE GL 1 HAS GOT HI~1

FIGt.:RED AT FJ\ t TO ~1XE.

HASCHAXCE.

HASCHAXCE

THIS GLI S.-:o.!S TEE R0..'-3~

H.-\S CHA. ~<==:

I GOT -=-:--fE ::cs:;=:

RIGHT

HERE.

(At end of"FUGUE FOR TINHOR\:5 _ ~~~:-. TH E FOLD"- SARAH ·wzth taml:c:..r:~~ • .: .:=-..;_

ARVIDE ABERNATHY beatillS .1 !-.<5:> d,... carrying a small box wlliclz :lie pi.1~£: ~:>4~:: ::: 5 -..:_ ~~ --~ finisl! playing they si11g "FOLLo:·.- II;= .?0-D R.1. Tlterj stop alld listell.)

(RUSTY)

BIC THREAT,

BIG THREAT,

THIS GUY CALLS THE HOR~

BIG THREAT

1F HE CALLS THE HORSE

BIG TH REAT,

BIG THREAT,

BIG THREAT.

A D JUST A MINUTE BOYS,

I GOT THE FEED BOX NO lSI

IT SAYS THE

GREAT-GRANDFATHER

WAS EQUIPOISE.

SHOWS CLASS,

SHOWS CLASS.

THIS GUY SAYS THE HORSE

SHOWS CLASS.

IF HE SAYS THE HORSE

SHOWS CLASS,

SHOWS CLASS,

SHO\ \'S CLASS.

50 ~lAKE lT EPITAPH

:-::E \n:-\5 TT BY A HALF

ACCORDING TO THIS HERE

.. -::IE TELEGRAPH

~ITAPH.

• GOT THE HORSE

FOLLOW

GUYS & D OLLS

#3- Follow the Fold

SARAH AND MISSION BAND

FOLLOW 1'H E FO LD AND STRAY NO MORE

STRAY NO MORE, STRAY NO MORE

PUT DOWN THE BOTILE AND WE'LL SAY NO MORE

(DRUNK enters from R.l, steps to L. of Saralz)

FOLLOW, FOLLOW THE FOLD.

(SIGHTSEEING GROUP, including TEXAN alld his WIFE e11ter L.2)

SARAH

(Points at dm nk)

BEFORE YOU TAKE ANOTHER SWALLOW

(PRiZEFIGHTER and his MANAGER enter from R.l, stop at center, tlten move back to R. and they listen to singing)

SARAH AND BAND

FOLLOW THE FOLD AND STRAY NO MORE

STRAY NO MORE, STRAY 0 MORE

TEAR UP YOUR POKER DECK OF CARDS AND PLAY NO MORE

FOLLOW, FOLLOW THE FOLD,

TO THE MEADOWS WllERE THE SUN SHINES.

(CHORUS GIRLS (2) enter from L.1, stop suddenly to L. of Sarah, alongside of the drunk- SARAH points at them)

OUT OF THE DARKNESS AND THE COLD.

SARAH

AND THE SI N AND SHAME IN WHICH YOU WALLOW

(She points again to Chorus Girls)

SARAH AND BAND

FOLLOW THE FOLD A D STRAY NO MORE

STRAY 10 MORE, STRAY NO MORE

IF YOU'RE A SINNER AND YOU PRAY NO MORE

FOLLOW, FOLLOW THE FO LD.

(At enri of song, SA RAH immediately goes into her speeclz)

SARAH

Brothers and sisters, resist the Devil and he will flee from you. That is what the Bible tells us.

- 5 -

- 6 - GUY S & DOLL S

(SARAH)

(NICET.Y, BENNY, RUSTY cross to L.)

And that is why I am standing here, in the Devil's 0\vn city,­

(The BOBBY SOXERS exit lauglzingly L.1)

- on the Devil' sown street, prepared to do battle with the forces of evil. Hear me, you gamblers!

(She points to NICELY, BCNNY a11d RUSTY wlzo are stauding stnge L.C., tlzetj move uneasily to stage L.)

With your dice, your cards, your horses! Pause and think before it is too late!

(She is Jailing to lzold her audience a11d occasionally fa llers in her speeclz as she notices someone walk out)

You are in great danger! I am not speaking of the prison and the gallows, ­

(SIGHTSCEING GROUP exits R.2)

-but of the greater punishment that awaits you! Repent !before it is too late!

(PRIZEFIGHTER mzd his MANAGER exit L.1)

Just around the corner is our little Mission-

(DRUNK exits L.l)

- where you are always welcome to seek refuge from this jungle of sin.

(1WO CHORUS GIRLS exit L.1)

Come here and talk to me. Do not think of me as Sergeant Saran Brown, but as Sarah Brown, your sister.

(Tite TWO STR EET WALKERS ~loil'ly ex:~ L = ~J;cr.l·it:~ :_;;e:r <1.1are~ as tlley pass RUSTY CHARLIE, who is Manding at nt:... ~.:·1 :.i ::r-::11 J\7CELY .md BENNY He follows them oft pointing his finger al llzem .<!' : ':ey cxi; - ~\:.ICELY .md BENNY are not conscious of litis)

Join me, Brothers and Sisters, in resisting the Oe•il. a.-.:i \o,;e .::ati put him to flight forever.

(SARAH looks at ARVIDE llopele~sl}t - lu: mvn .: 4~ ..-r er.,:.nrr.J~•:gl!')

Remember, friends, it is the Save-A-Soul_\li:""lOn-

(Slow/y stepping down from tlze box·

- located at 409 West 49th Street, oper- all day aru all ru::-- \\ :r.h a special prayer meeting this Thursday at-

(Looks despairingly at Art'ide. Her cro~i ·~ d:..~ -.,..,.,J ~ - •• : ;m:e except NICELY mtd BENNY, wlzo are standiu:{ bu f1•e nr .... ::::..- ~ r?::.; : .. ~ ~v.od; :heels. SARAH and i\t1JSSTON BAND make a fr...::c..· ·.:: !,z:.: o::: __ f.~U51C UNDER-SCORiNG AS THEY EXITI

GU\' S & D OLLS

#3a- Exit of Snralz and the Missio11 Ba11d

NICELY

(Looking after them as he crosses to Stage C followed by BENNY)

Poor Miss Sarah! I wonder why a refined doll like her is mixed up in the Mission dodge.

BENNY

She is a beautiful doll, all right, with one hundred percent eyes.

N ICELY

It is too bad that such a doll wastes all her time being good. How can she make any money from that?

BENNY

Y1aybe she owns a piece of the Mission.

N ICELY

Yeah.

(HARRY THE HORSE Cllfers from L.l, crosses to Ben11y)

Hey! Benny Southstreet!

(THEY shake hands)

HARRY

B EN N Y

Harry the Horse! How are you! You know Nicely- Ticely Johnson.

HARRY

Yeah. How goes it?

NICELY

:\icely, nicely, thank you.

HARRY

Tell me, what about Nathan Detroit? Is he got a place for his crap game?

(Whispers back)

\Ve don't know yet.

The heat is on.

He's still looking for a place.

BENNY

N ICELY

BEN N Y

- 7 -

- 8 - GUYS & DOLL S

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------HARRY

Well, tell him I'm loaded and looking for action.

(Crosses to R., past Nicely)

1 just acquired five thousand potatoes.

Five thousand bucks!

Where did you acquire it?

l collected the reward on my father.

(Exits R.1)

BENNY

N ICELY

HARRY

BENNY

Everybody is looking for action. T wish Nathan finds a-

(He stops as BRANNIGAN enters - gets paper at 11ewssta11d- crosses to Be11ny)

N I CELY

Why, Lieutenant Brannigan! Mr. Southstreet, it is Lieutenant Brannigan of the New York Police Department.

(Crosses to R.)

A pleasure.

(Moves nwny)

BENNY

BRANNI GAN

Any of you guys seen Nathan Detroit?

BENNY

Which Nathan Detroit is that?

(BRANNIGAN folds his paper witl1 a11 abrupt mO<'ement and[i1ces tile huo 111en)

BRANNIGA?\

I mean the Nathan Detroit who's been running a !1oating crap game around here, and getting away with it by moving it to a different spot e\·ery night.

N I CELY

Why ru·c you tclUng us this - Your Honor?

BRAN IGAN

1 am telling you this because I know you two bums work for Detroit, rustling up customers for his crap game.

GUYS & DOLLS

NICELY

We do?

BRANNIGAN

Yeah!

NICELY

Oh!

BRANNIGAN You can tell him for me: 1 know that right now he's running around trying to find a c;pot. Well, nobody's gonna give him a spot, because they all know that Brannigan is breathing down their neck!

(Stnrls to exit. NATHAN enters from above m!wsslaud, 11ot seeiug Brmmigau)

NICELY

Hi, Nathan!

NATHAN

Fcllas, I'm having tcn-ible trouble. Everybody's scared on account of that lousy Brannigan, and I can't-

BRANNIGAN

Something wrong, Mr. Detroit?

NATHAN

(A sickly grimace)

Oh, hello, Lieutenant. 1 hope you don't think 1 was talking about you. There arc other lousy Brannigans.

BRANNIGAN

Detroit, I have just been talking to your colleagues about your crap game. I imagine : ou arc having trouble finding a place.

NATHAN \\'ell, the heat is on, as you must know from the fact that you now have to live on your salary.

(B RANNIGAN glares ami exits L.1)

(Crosses to Natlmn)

Did you find a place?

BENNY

NATHAN • \'hat does that cop want from me? What am I- a sex maniac? I merely run a crap -!arne for the convenience of those who want a little action, in return for which I take J ::.mall cut. Is that a crime! Yeah!

- 9 -

- 10 - GUYS & D OLLS

BENNY

Nathan! Did you find a place?

NICELY

Did you find a place for the game?

NATHAN

(Crosses t·o R. pnss Nicely)

Did I find a place! Did I find- yes, I found a place! We are holding the crap game tomorrow night in the Radio City Music Hall.

BENNY

How you gonna fix the ushers?

NATHAN

l tried all the regular places. The back of the cigar store, the funeral parlour-

NICELY

at han, you said once there might be a chance of the Biltmore Garage.

I was over to the Biltmore Garage.

(B ENNY crosses to Natlwll)

NATHAN

-spoke to joey Biltmore himself. He says he might take a chance and Jet me use the place, if I give him a thousand bucks.

BENNY A thousand bucks!

NATHAN

In cash.

(Pusl1es BENNY)

He won't take my marker.

BENNY

Yow- marker's no good, huh?

NATHAN What do you mean?

(Pushes BENNY against NICELY)

A marker ain't just a piece of paper that says I.O.U. One thousand dollars signed l A THAN DETROIT. A marker is like a pledge which a guy can't welch on it. It's like not saluting the flag.

(BENNY and NICELY remove hats- NATHAS crosses to stage L.)

GUYS & DOLI. S

(NATHAN)

'vty marker is as good as gold, only Joey Biltmore don't think so-It don't seem possible. Me without a livelihood. Why, I have been running the crap game ever since I was a juvenile delinquent.

BENNY

(Crosses to Nntl!mt)

:-\athan, can't you do something?

NATHAN

What can I do? I'm broke.

(Crosses between Benny nnd Nicely)

I couldn't even buy Adelaide a present today, and you know what day today is? It is mine and Adelaide's fourteenth anniversary.

BENNY

'leah?

NICELY

Yeah?

NATHAN

'leah. We been engaged fourteen years.

MUSIC CUE

(3 CRAP SHOOTERS enter from L.l-go to 11ewsstmuf nnd converse)

;:4- The 0/dc~l E~tablz::.l!ed

BENNY

'\athan, concentrate on the game. The town's up to here with high players. The Greek's in town!

LJGHTCUC

NICELY

Brandy Bottle Bates!

(TWO CRAP SHOOTERS enter from R.2)

BENNY

Scranton Slim!

NATHAN

: mow. I could make a fortune. But where can I have the game?

.\1.USTCCUE

- 11 -

- 12 - GU \'S & DOLL'>

NICELY

fHI: BILTMORE GARAGE WA.'\!TS A GR ·\\: D

BENNY

BUT WE AII''T GOT A GRAND 0~ HA '=D

(Crosses behueeu Nicely and Nat/um)

NATHAN

AND THEY'VE NOW GOT A LOCK O. 1 HE DOOR

OF THE GYM AT PUBLIC SCHOOL EIGI ITY-FOUR.

NICELY

TJ JERE'S THE STOCKROOM BEHIND MCCLOSKEY'S B/\R

(Crosses to Natlm11)

BENNY

BUT MISSUS MCCLOSKEY AIN'T A GOOD SCOUT

AND THil'\GS BEIN'

(Crosses to R. past Ben11y)

!lOW THEY ARE

NATHAN

TilE BACK OF THE POLICE STATfO'\ IS OL T

NICELY

SO TilE BILTMORE GARAGE IS THE SPOT

ALL

BUT THE ONE-THOUSAN D BUCKS WI:./\1'\'T GOf

(CRAP SflOOTER ettfers from R.l followed by ntore gmdun/ly)

A CRAP SHOOTER

WHY lT' S GOOD OLD RELlABLE NATHA '\,

MORE CRAP SHOOTERS

A THAN, TATHAt I ~ATHA:-- DETRO T

STILL MORE CRAP SHOOTERS

If YOU'RE LOOKl 1' FOR ACTIO'\

HE'LL FC~"\lSH THE SPOT

(2 MEN euler L.2)

STILL MORE CRAP SHOOTERS

I:VEN WHEN THE HEAT IS 0\.

IT'S EVER TOO HOT

G UYS & D OLL S

(3 MEN enter R.1)

ALL CRAP SHOOTERS

NOT FOR GOOD OLD RELIABLE NATHA

FOR ITS ALWAYS JUST A SHORT WALK

(THEY all gatlrer downstage)

TO THE OLDEST ESTABLISHED PERMAN EN f

FLOATING CRAP GAME IN NEW YORK.

(TilEY take off tlreir l~ats.JNTERLUD£. Move to C.)

THERE ARE WELL-HEELED 51 lOOTERS

EV'RYWI I ERE, EV'RYWHERE

THERE ARE WELL HEELED SHOOTERS

EV'RYWHERE-AND AN AWFUL LOT OF LETTUCE

(Shows money)

FOR THE FELLA WHO CAN GET US THERE.

(Back upstage)

NICELY, BENNY, NATHAN

IF WE 0 LY HAD A LOUSY LITTLE GRAND,

WE COULD BE A MILLIONAIRE

CRAP SHOOTERS

THAT'S GOOD OLD RELIABLE ATHA '

ATHA, , NATHAN, ATHAN DETROIT

(ALL come dow11stage)

IF fHE SIZE OF YOUR BU1 DLE

YOU WANT TO INCREASE

HE'LL ARRANGE THAT YOU GO BROKE

IN QUIET AND PEACE

INA HIDEOUT PROVIDED BY KAT! IAN

WIIERE THERE ARE NO NEIGHBOURS TO SQUAWK

ITS THE OLDEST ESTABLISHED

(THEY all stmtd straight)

CODA

PERMANE T FLOATING CRAP GAME IN EW YORK.

CRAP SHOOTERS

WllERE'S THE ACTION? WHERE'S THE GAME?

- 13 -

- 14 - GuYs & DOLLS

----------------------------------------------------------------------------NICELY, BENNY, NATHAN

GOTTA HAVE THE GAME OR WE'LL DIE FROM Sl lAME

ALL (except NATHAN)

(ALL stn11d up straight)

IT'S THE OLDEST ESTABLISHED

(Take lints off)

PERMANE T FLOATING CRAP GAME IN NEW YORK.

(ALL tlte CRAP SHOOTERS start to exit R. n11d L. NATHAN ~l1011ls after them ns tltey erit)

NATHAN

Gentlemen, do not worry. Nathan Detroit's crap game will float aga in. My boys will let you know where it is.

(THEY all exit R. n11d L.)

ANGIE-THE-OX

Okay, Nathan- Say, you know who else is looking for action? Sk) Masterson! Sky Masterson's in town.

(ANGJC exits R.1)

NATHA~

Sky Masterson! There is the highest player of them all!

BENNY

Higher than the Greek?

~ATHA:'\

Higher than anybody. Why do you think the\ c.: .. h.~ 5 · ~That·~ how high he bets. T once saw him bet five thousand dollars on J coc~oa~-- . w-d another time he was sick, and he wouldn't take penicillin on account he h.::.ri :.et :en C' that his tempera­ture would go to 104.

~ICEL)

Did it?

~ATHA~

Did it? Tic's so lucky it went to 106. Gocx: d~

XIC!:l)

Ma) be you can borrow the thousarc ~~- -

XATHA -

Not Sky. With him that kind of mone~ a:­

(Crosses to R.)

GLTYS & DOLLS

-It's betting money. So why don't I bet him? Why don't I bet him a thousand on :.omething?

NICELY You would bet with Sky Masterson?

NATHAN I ain't scared. 1 am perfectly willing to take the risk, providing I can figure out a bet on which there is no chance of losing.

(Crosses behueen Be11ny ami Nicely and places his hands on their shoulders)

He likes crazy bets, like which lump of sugar will a fly sit on, or how far can you kick a piece of cheesecake-Cheesecake! Ooh! Look-run into Mindy's Restaurant md ask Mindy how many pieces of cheesecake he sold yesterday and also hov., many pieces of strudel.

BENNY

How much cheesecake, how much strudel-What do you want to know for?

NATHAN

ust find out! Now beat it- here comes Adelaide.

(Crosses to L. of BENNY as he looks off L.)

• 'she hears l am running the crap game she will never set foot on me again.

(BENNY and NICELY run off R.l as ADELAIDE enters L.1 carrying a small box I(lhic/1 contaius a man's belt aud a small card. She is followed by THREE GIRLS from tlw Hot Box)

t~ello, Nathan dear.

(Embrace)

;.. delaide! Pigeon!

ADELAIDE

NATHAN

(Tlte THREE GIRLS have stopped at stage R. 011 the greetings)

ADELAIDE

(To Three Girls)

- 15 -

'\ "~U go ahead, girls. Order me a tuna fish on rye and a chocolate sundae with tomato t:.tchup and mayonnaise.

Okay, Adelaide­

(THEY exit R.1)

We gotta get back to the Hot Box.

G IRLS

ADELAIDE

- 1 6 - G UYS & D OLlS

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------NATHAN

You still rehearsing?

ADELAID E

Yeah. That slave driver Charlie-he's been working us all day. Finally I says, "Look, Charlie, I'm starving! 1 gotta get outa here and get something to eat." And he says, "You don't want to eat. You just want to sneak out and meet that cheap bum, Nathan Detroit!"-

NATHAN

(Outraged)

So what did you say to him?

ADELAIDE

(Proudly)

I told him. I says, " I'll meet whoever I want!"

NATHAN

Well, don't upset yourself. How's your cold?

ADELAID E

Oh, it's much better, thank you- Nathan! Happy Anniversary!

NATHAN

A present! For me?

ADELAID E

I hope you like it.

N ATHAI'\

A belt!

ADEL~JD[

Read the card!

~ATHA::-.:

"Sugar is sweet, and So is jelly, so _Fat~ be{-: a.-o::r-.,c cur !:oelh·." That's so sweet. Look, honey-about your presem. i wx. = -:: · :e! a cilamond wrist watch, with a gold band, and h' o rubies o:;- ::-~ - .::....

ADE lAIOE

~athan, you shouldn't have.

It's all nght-1 didn': - I'm "-1l~·

(Gt:ts i 1 fr01;; o'lmo: - L ,..._::

GuY s & Dor L S

:--ro, I kinda like it when you forget to give me presents. ft makes me feel like we're married.

NATHAN

Don't worry, honey- one of these days I'll be in the money, and you'll have more mir1k than a mink.

ADELAIDE

- 17 -

:'-Jathan darling, I can do without anything just so long as you don't start running the crap game again.

NAT H AN

(Fondly- back nway toR.)

The crap game! What an absurd thought!

(BENNY n11d NICELY enter from R.l)

BENNY

?sst!

(NATHAN turns to him)

Twelve hundred cheesecake and fifteen hundred strudel.

N ATHAN

Huh?

N ICELY

. t:!S terday Mindy sold twelve hundred cheesecake and fifteen hundred strudel.

NATHAN

' .ore strudel than cheesecake. That's great!

ADELAID E

athan! What is this?

N ATHAN

thing, honey.

HA RRY THE HORSE enters frozen L.1)

H A RRY

He\! Any news yet?

NATHAN

· : yet, Harry, I'll let you know.

H ARRY :(., Detroit.

E.nt L.1)

- 18 - GUY S & D OLL S

-- ·-·-·-------------- ----------------------

ADELAIDE

What was that about?

NATHAN

His wife's having a baby.

ADELAIDE

Why's he asking you?

NATHAN He's nervous-it's his fu·st wife. Look; Adelaide, I'm expecting a fellow and I know you're hungry-

AD ELAIDE

Nathan, are you trying to get rid of me?

NATHAN No, 1 just don't want your sandwich to get soggy. Fellows­

(He crosses ADELAIDE to BENNY, sees SKY approaching)

-Why don't you take Adelaide to the drugstore?

(To lrer)

You see, honey, you've got a cold, and it's across the street, and there're a lot of open manholes around-

LIGHT CUE

ADELAIDE

(As size is being borne away btJ BENNY and NICELY- tlrey raise lrer up a11d e.-dt R.l)

Nathan darling, you're so thoughtful. You're just the sweetest person. Goodbye.

(NATHAN is alone. He paces a mome11t, peers off SKY Masterson enters L.l. #2 Street Traveller closes)

NATHAN Hey, Masterson! Glad to see you, Sky!

SKY Nathan! You old promote!~ you!

LIGHT CUE

NATHAN

How are you, Sky? You look great!

SKY Feel great, Nathan. Two wonderful weeks out West in Nevada. Great place! Beautiful scenery, healthful climate, and I beat 'em for fifty G' s at blackjack.

GUYS & D OLLS

N ATHAN Fifty G's!-Going to be in town long?

SKY .:\o. Flying to Havana tomorrow.

N ATHAN Ha\·ana?

SKY 'l.es, there's a lot of action down there. Want to come with me?

NATHAN Xo, I got a lot of things to do- Meantime, how about dropping over to Mindy's for , piece of cheesecake? They sell a lot of cheesecake.

SKY Xo, I'm not hungry-Tell me, how's Adelaide?

N ATHAN On. fine, fine. Still dancing at the Hot Box.

SKY - .. ppose one of these days you'll be getting married?

NATHAN \"e all got to go some time.

SKY

- 19 -

-_. '-Jathan, we can fight it. Guys like us, Nathan-we got to remember that ;-:_a.-.ant as a doll's company may be, she must always take second place to aces back

t-ack.

h:g. mind 011 ot/1er matters)

e;a.~o. _, eah.

Back to business)

N ATHAN

me - you hungry yet? Maybe we could go into Mindy's and have a piece of ecake or strudel or something?

SKY I think I'll go get the late results.

:: •1':'c!S to L.- takes sera telL sheet from pocket)

NATHAN

::n: "'"<.:' to Sky)

- 20 - GUYS & DOLls --·------- ------------------------------

(NATHAN )

But you will admit that Mindy has the greatest cheesecake in the country?

SKY Yes, I'm quite partial to Mindy's cheesecake.

NATHAN

Who ain't? And yet there are some people who like Mindy's strudel.

(SKY seems disinterested)

Offhand, which do you think he sells more of, the cheesecake or the strudel?

SKY Well, I never give it much thought. But if everybody is like I am, I'd say Mindy sells much more cheesecake than strudel.

NATHAN

For how much?

SKY Huh?

NATH AN

For how much?

SKY Why, Nathan, 1 never knew you to be a betting man. You always take your percentage off the top.

N ATHA N

(Crosses to R.)

Well, for old times' sake 1 thought I'd give you a little action. I will bet you a thou­sand bucks that yesterday Mindy sold more strudel than cheesecake.

(Crosses to Nnthan to RC.)

Nathan, let me tell you a story-

Oh-

SKY

NATHAN

SKY When 1 was a young man about to go out into the world, my father says to me a very valuable thing. l resays to me like this: "Son," the old guy says, "Jam sorry that I am not able to bankroll you to a very large start, but not having any potatoes to give you I am now going to stake you to some vel) 'aluable advice. One of these days in your travels a guy is going to come to ) ou and shO\\ you a nice brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken, and thb gu~ is going to offer to bet you that he can make the Jack of Spades jump out of the deck and squirt cider in

GUY S & DOLLS - 21 -

your ear. But son, do not bet this man, for as sure as you stand there you are going to \\'ind up with an earful of cider." Now, Nathan, I do not claim that you have been clocking Mindy's cheesecake-

NATHAN You don't think that-

SKY

Howevet~ if you're really looking for some action-

(Crosses to Nathan, puts liis hand across his clrest hiding Nntlm11's necktie)

I \\'ill bet you the same thousand that you do not know the color of the necktie you :la\ 'e on.

(We can tell from NATHAN's expressio11 tllaf his entire life is passing b~fore him as he fa ils to remember tlte color)

'\'ell?

tDismally)

~o bet.

NATHAN

(SKY removes his lta11d. NATHAN looks disgustedly nt the color of !tis tie)

3:ue. What a crazy color.

tBENNY nnrl NICELY enter)

BENNY a~han, we took Adelaide to the drugstore-

NATHAN ~n' t bother me.

He p11slies BENNY wlw falls)

NICELY :r ya, Sky!

SKY .:;ood. How's it with you fellm·vs?

BENNY or bad.

Rises)

NICELY . .:ely, nicely. We took Adelaide to the drugstore, and she says for you to be sure to

- -~ her up after tl1e sho"'' at U1c Hot Box atld Don't be late.

- 22 - G u y s & D 0 I I. s

~·------------------------------------------------------------------------

NATHAN

Yes, dear. I mean yes-

SKY Yes, dear. That is husband talk if I ever heard it. Nathan, you are trapped. In Adelaide you have the kind of a girl that is most difficult to unload.

(Crosses to L.)

NATHAN

I don't want to unload her. !love Adelaide. And a guy without a doll-well, if a guy does not have a doll-who would holler at him? A doll is a necessity.

SKY Nathan, Tam not pu lling the rap on dolls. 1 just say a guy should have them around when he wants them, and they are easy to find.

NATHAN

Not dolls like Adelaide!

SKY Nathan, figuring weight for age, all dolls are the same.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah!

Then how come you ain't got a doll?

(Crosses to Nicely)

NATHAN

SKY

NATHAN

l Iow come you're going to Havana alone without one?

SKY I like to h·avellight, but if I wish to take a doll to 1 Javana there is a large assortment available.

(MISSION GROUP is heard singing off stage L.l)

#:i- I olloil' the fold- /{cpri;:;c

NATHAN

Not real high class dolls!

SKY Any doll! You name her!

NATHAN

Any doll? And l name her! Will you bet on that?

MISSION GROUP

(offstage)

FOLLOW THE FOLD

AND STRAY '\!0 MORE,

STRAY ·o MORE, STRAY 10 MOR:

GUYS & DOLLS

NATHAN

.-.! you bet a thousand dollars that if I -~-r.e a doll you will tak·e her to Havana --::::orrow?

SKY .: got a bet!

- 23 -

MISSION GROUP

PUT DOWN THE BOTTLE

AND WE'LL SAY NO MORE

FOLLOW, FOLLOW THE FOLD.

3E MISSION GROUP enters, singing, headed by SARAH. TWO SPECTATORS :_--:o<t' them on . SARAH stops stage L.C. NATI-IAN crosses to C., points to Sarah)

NATHAN

SKY

::' l:5 his lmnd to his em~ tlten withdmws it)

-- Cider!

~~~CKOUT.

MISSION GROUP

FOLLOW THE FOLD

AND STRAY NO MORE,

STRAY NO MORE,

STRAY NO MORE.

'!--:? 'i.citlt # Traveller. #2 Street traveller opens. Lights dim in beltind #1 traveller. #1 --::-_·:ler opens to Mission Interior

ACT 11 Scene ii: Interior Save-a-Soul Mission

- '.:issio11 Band files in. AGATHA, CALVIN and MARTHA exit into Room R. = ;.~.:1B goes down R. ARVIDE places bass drum up R. against window -hat on chah·. :·--r. .::ng stage C. is a painted sign in block letters. It reads: "There is no peace unto tl1e

:~-j - Proverbs 23, 9."

'i -_>(_ ;_J-J puts tambourine on barber chair. Takes !tnt and coat off- places on barber

SARAH

.iay I'm going to take a pick-axe and rip up Broadway from end to end.

: --E .7: sclwol desk, busies herself with papers)

ARVIDE io that every day .

..:: :"usses to nrmchai1~ picks up Mission newspapa which is in chair nnd sits and -3 SKY MASTERSON is seen on street through window. He enters from stageR.

..... ~:aps nnd looks in through window ·when lie gets to stage L. After a moment he -~~ :Jzrough door to stage C. He assumes an air of repentance)

SKY .:-:: :ake sinners here?

- 2-1 - GUYS & D OLI.S

·--.,,:··--------------------------------------

I

(Rising, coming to Sky)

Indeed we do! -Sarah!

(Rises)

I low do you do?

ARVI DE

SARAH

ARVIDE

My name is Abernathy. Arvide Abernathy.

SKY Sky Masterson.

(Ami suddenly Iris head drops in to his lla11ds)

SARA H

(Crosses lo SKY -1\RVIDE moves towards SKY)

What's wrong?

ARV IDE

What is the trouble?

SKY My heart is heavy with sin.

ARVIDE

You poor man.

SKY

(Crosses, sits in ar111chnir C. SARAH crosses D.L.)

I have wasted my li fe in gambling and evil betting. But I have suddenly realized the terrible things that betting can lead to.

(A side gln11ce at Snml1)

(Calli11g)

Agatha!

ARVTDE

(AGATHA sticks Iter head out of door R.)

Coffee!

(AGATHA exits-ARVID£ crosses D.L. of SKY)

SARAH

Didn't I see you a little while ago on Broadway?

GUYS & DOLLS

SKY :"ossibly. I have been wandering around, trying to get up the courage to come here.

SARAH

.:._nd you're willing to give up gambling?

SKY .:;1adly. l would never have become a gambler at all had I not fallen in with evil .::-:npanions who were always offering me sucker bets.

fAGATHA enters with two cups of coffee on tray)

Crosses down to Sarah's L.)

-:ere/ young man.

ARVIDE

SKY

Takes n sip of tlze coffee. Rises, crosses to Sarah)

--~ you. It makes me feel good just to talk to you people.

ARVIDE

-just go right on talking to Sister Sarah, and you'll be all right. I'm glad you _:_td us.

SKY ---= Bible says, "Seek and ye shall find."

ARVIDE ~-good!

5:rll llanging on to Sky's hand)

sn we could reach more sinners like you. We are out every day, trying.

SKY !::e you should try the night time.

ARVIDE s that?

SKY -.:. ::ormer sinne1~ I happen to know that the best time to find sinners is between -~!ght and dawn. You might even try having an all-night session against the

ARVIDE

~-good suggestion indeed! Thank you, Brother Masterson!

- 25 -

- 26 - GU )'S & D OLLS

-~'------------------------------------------------------------------------------SKY

You're welcome.

(Pointedly, witlz nil eye 011 Sarah)

ARVIDE

(Drinks coffee)

Coffee is so good I can't understand why it isn't a sin.

(Exits R. SARAH sits nf desk. SKY places hat on. single chair)

SKY

(Looking after Arvide)

Fine old gentleman. I suppose he sort of-looks after you-?

SARAH We look after each other.

SKY Uh-huh. I suppose if either of you goes someplace, the other goes along?

SARAH Yes, of course.

SKY Of course.

SARAH

(Hands SKY pamphlet)

Here are two of our pamphlets I'd like you to read. They will give you a good deal of comf01t.

SKY Thank you.

SARAH And we're holding a midnight prayer meeting on Thursday, \vhich I'm sure you will wish to attend.

(Rises, crosses to drawer nt shoe stand. Gets pnpe1)

SKY I'm sure-Miss Sarah, I hope you will not think I am getting out of line, but I think it is wonderful to see a pretty doll-uh-a nice-looking lady like you - sacrificin.g herself for the sake of others.

(Crosses two steps toR.)

Staying here in this place-do you ever go any place else? Travel or something?

GUYS & DOL LS

SARAH

(Sits at desk)

~ would like to go to Africa.

SKY :bat's a little far. But there are a lot of wonderful places just a few hours from New .ork, by plane. Ever been in a plane?

SARAH ~0.

SKY Oh it's wonderful-

SARAH Eere is another pamphlet that I think you should read.

Gives IIim pamphlet)

SKY --'!.. .... k you-Of course I will need a lot of personal help from you. My heart is as

.:.~ as two feet down a wolf's gullet.

SARAH Cte speaking at the Thursday prayer meeting.

SKY ~.:i private lessons. Why don't we have dinner or something?

SARAH -:.-not, Mr. Masterson.

SKY -u.<:t blossoming under the warmth of your kindness­

:-... !mg around, looking the place over)

~- ~~ up C. to sign)

E-, Tong.

SARAH - - s \TOng?

SKY

SARAH

- 27 -

- 28 - GUY S & D OLtS -------------------------------------------------------------------------SKY

Sorry. "No peace unto the wicked." -isaiah, Chapter 57, Verse 22.

(SARAH crosses to Bible stand, opens it. Behind his back SARAH looks up quotation in Bible. Slams the book shut)

(Witlwut fuming)

Isaiah?

lsaial1.

(Sits at desk)

SKY

SARAH

SKY There are two things been in every hotel room in the country. Sky Masterson, and the Gideon Bible. I must have read the Good Book ten or twelve times

SARAH You've read the Bible twelve times?

SKY What's wrong with the Bible? Besides, in my business the strangest information frequently comes in handy. I once won five G's on a parlay, Shadrach, Mischach, and Abednego.

SARAH Tell me, Mr. Masterson, why are you here?

SKY I told you. I'm a sinner.

SARAH You're lying.

SKY Well, lying's a sin- Look, I'm a big sinner. If you get me, it's eight to five the others'll follow. You need sinners, don'l you?

SARAH We're managing.

SKY Let's be honest. This Mission is laying an egg.

(SHE is silent)

Why don't you let me help you? 1'11 bet I can­

(Crosses R. a Jew steps)

Guvs & DO L I. S - 29 -

- fill this place with sinners.

SARAH I don't bet.

SKY I'll make you a proposition.

(Picks up cnrdboard from clUlir, writes marker)

When is this big meeting of yours-Thursday? I will guarantee to fill that meeting with one dozen genuine sinners. I will also guarantee that they will sit still and listen :o you.

SARAH .-\nd what's my end of the bargain?

SKY Have dinner with me.

SARAH ~\'hy do you want to have dinner with me?

SKY : m hungry - Here!

(Gives lzer marker- SHE takes it)

SARAH n at's this?

SKY 5".~y Masterson's marker for twelve sinners. If you don't think it's good, ask anybody ::- rown. I-0-U. -one dozen sinners.

tHe hrmds her red cardboard marker)

- ...: pick you up at noon tomorrow, for dinner.

-.:noon?

.: 11 take us some time to get there.

~, get where?

(Picks up hat from single chair)

:-o my favor ite restaurant.

SARAH

SKY

SARAH

SKY

.-.,· . .... - 30 - GUYS f1' D OLl<;

SARAH Where is that?

SKY El Cafe Cubana, in Havana.

SARAH

(Rises)

El Cafe Cubana, Havana?

SKY Where do you want to cat? Howard Johnson's!

SARAH Havana!

SKY

(Crosses to lwr)

Why not? The plane gets us there in five hours and back the same night. And the food is great.

SARAH

(Crosses to cnbinct R. with slzeet of pnper)

I now reali7e, Mr. Gambler, when you were describing the blackness of your heart, you didn't do yourself justice.

(She ope11s drnwer of cnbi11et, tnkes out typewrille11 sheet of pnper. SKY goes to her n11d ns lte does he drops his !tnt 011 an11clwir)

SKY And I now realize, Sister Sarah, that no matter how beautiful a Sergeant is, she's still a Sergeant.

SARAH Please go away.

SKY Why don't you change your pitch, Sarge-Come to the Mission one and all, except Guys. r hate Guys!

SARAH 1 don't hate anybody.

SKY Except me.

(SHE looks nt IIim)

Guys & DOLL S

(SKY) I am relieved to know that it's just me personally and not all guys in general. It is nice to know that somewhere in the world there's a guy who might appeal to the Sergeant. I wonder what this guy will be like?

(Slams drnwer. Crosses to D.C.)

He will not be a gambler.

(Crosses to lzer)

SARAH

SKY

: am not interested in what he will not be- I am interested in what he will be.

SARAH :Jon' t worry, I'll know­

LIGHT CUE

~6 -I'll Know

.5.

SARAH FOR I'VE IMAGINED EV'RY BIT OF HIM,

FROM HIS STRONG MORAL FIBRE

TO THE WISDOM IN HIS HEAD,

TO THE HOMEY AROMA OF HIS PIPE

SKY YOU HAVE WISHED YOURSELF A SCARSDALE CALAHAD

THE BREAKFAST-EATING BROOKS BROTHERS TYPE

SARAH

AND I SHALL MEET HIM WHEN THE TIME IS RIPE.

SKY .ou've got the guy all figured out.

SARAH :1ave.

SKY ::ading what he smokes. All figured out, huh?

SARAH -._:figured out.

- 31 -

- 32 - Guvs&Dotts ------·------------------------------------ --

(SARAH) I'LL KNOW WHEi\J" MY LOVE COMI:S ALONG

I WO, 'T TAKE A CHANCE

FOR OH, HE'LL BE JUST WHAT I NEED

NO I' SOME FLY BY JTGHT BROADWAY ROMA ICE

SKY

(Crosses to ller)

A:\D YOU'LL K.t'\;OW AT A GLA 1CE

BY THE TWO PAIR OF PAl\. TS

SARAH

(Crosses to R., pnsses !tilll)

I'LL KNOW BY THE CALM STEADY VOICE

TI JOSE FEET o, THE GROUND

(HE sits i11 single cllnir)

I'LL KNOW, AS I RU r TO HIS ARMS

TIIAT AT LAST I'VE COME HOME SAFE AND SOU~D

A '\0 TILL THEN I SHALL WAIT

AI D Tl LL THE1 I'LL BE STRONG

FOR, I'LL KNOW \IVHE r MY LOVE COMES ALONG.

SKY

(Ri:::es, crosses to l1er R.C. Slmkiug his llend, spoke11)

No, no-no-you're talking about love. You can't dope it like that. What are you picking, a guy or a horse?

SARAH

(Spoke11)

l wouldn't expect a gambler to understand.

SKY Would you like to hear ho·w a gambler feels about lhe big heart throb?

SARAH Ko!

SKY Well, I'll tell you-

GUYS & DOLLS

(SKY)

(Sings)

MINE WILL COME AS A SURPRISE TO ME

MINE, I LEAVE TO CHANCE-AND CHEMISTRY.

(Crosses two steps L.)

SARAH

(Turns to him)

Chemistry?

SKY

(crosses to her)

';.eah, chemjshy.

(Singing)

fD uet)

SUDDENLY I'LL KNOW, WHEN MY LOVE COMES ALONG

I'LL KNOW, THEN AND THERE

I'LL KNOW, AT THE SIGHT OF HER FACE

HOW I CARE, HOW I CARE, HOW I CARE

AND I'LL STOP AND I'LL STARE

AND I'LL KNOW LONG BEFORE WE CAN SPEAK

I'LL KNOW IN MY HEART

I'LL KNOW. AND I WON'T EVER ASK:

"AM I RIGHT? AM I WISE? AM I SMART?"

BUT I'LL STOP AND I'LL STARE AT THAT FACE IN THE THRONG

YES, I'LL KJ.'\JOW WHEN MY LOVE COMES ALONG.

S ARAH

I'lL KNOW.

SARAH & SKY

WHEN MY LOVE COMES ALONG.

(SKY kisses her.)

LIGHT CUE

- 33 -

- 34 - GUY S & DOL LS

#6a- Interlude

(THEY stand looking at end1 other as tile music continues in the orche~tra. SARAH is standing with her hands at her sides, she lias been moved by Sky's lyric and is really fascinated by this cobra. SKY senses that he has made n dent inlier defenses. He puts IIi~ arms around Iter and kisses ller tenderly. SHE submits to this but doesn't respond. llE releases Iter and picks up his hat and crosses up L. by door. SHE stands, seemingly eutranced. liE stauds wntclzing her. SHE lws been staring off into space. SHE htms to him. HE looks at l1er in al!ticipntion. SHE walks towards l1im, floating 011 air. HE stands confidently anticipating mwtlwr clinc/1. SHE reaches l1im and hauls off and belts him one across tlte chops- but really! SKY drops his hat. He reacltes down and recovers it while mbbing l1is clzeek)

SKY I'll drop in again in case you want to take a crack at the other cheek.

(He tums and exits L.3. SARAH moves dawn to desk)

MUSIC CUE

#6b - Vocal Fini ~ lt

(SARAH looks at the marker, picks it up from desk and tltmws it into waste basket in front of desk and sings-)

LIGHT CUE

SARAH I WON'T TAKE A CHANCE

MY LOVE WILL BE JUST WHAT l NEED

NOT SOME FLY-BY-NIGHT BROADWAY ROMANCE

AND TILL THEN I SHALL WAlT

AND TILL THEN I'LL BE STRO 1G

rOR l'LL KNOW WHEN MY LOVE COMES ALO G.

#6c - Change of Scene

Lights Fade out to Black. #2 Traveller closes. Phouc set piece pulled on from R.1 and set on marks at stageR. Front arc spots hit phone booth and NATHAN-

ACT I, Scen e iii: Wall telephone - coin box

LIGHT CUE

GUYS & DOLLS

-:ize Arc spots come on and we find NATHAN DETROIT at tlze phone. During the :=.1Uowing conversation JOEY's VOICE will be heard over the speaker system from the :i!eatre boxes R. and L.

NATHAN :Z..:e:..:.o - hello, is this the Biltmore Garage?-Let me talk to Joey Biltmore.

JOEY'S VOICE \~::o' s this?

NATHAN - -:;.:han Detroit.

JOEY'S VOICE ::-•lO is Joey. What do you want?

NATHAN -~., I'm calling about the-er-you know.

.~-:.e what?

:\ 1r ispering)

:e. crap game.

_..;. shade louder)

--: .::rap game.

..::..: a minute - ! got a customer.

-i_:y it up, will you?

JOEY'S VOICE

NATHAN

JOEY'S VOICE

NATHAN

JO EY'S VOICE

NATHAN

- 35 -

'"Jme explosions over the phone, ending in one great big one; NOTE: This is done with "3--:Jn shots and the dropping of a heavy chain on a metal plate)

JOEY'S VOICE :--..n ll be eight dolla1·s-What did you say, Nathan?

NATHAN

:_~.md)

~-e crap game.

--

I

I

I

- 36 - GU\S & D OlLS

JOEY' S VOICE

Don't say that on the phone-suppose the cops arc listening.

NATHAN

(Whispering)

I'm sorry, the dice gnme- Look, Joey, is it okay if 1 use your place tomorrow night?

JOEY'S VOICE

If I get a thousand bucks.

NATHAN

I'll have it tomorrow.

JOEY'S VOICE

Then call me tomorrow.

NATHAN

Listen, Joey, if you're going to take that attitude I'll have the game someplace else.

JOEY'S VOICE

Then ha\'e it someplace else.

NATHAN

(Slwuting)

Where else can I have it?-

(Softening)

Joey, lhe d ough is guaranteed. Would I lie to you?

JOEY' S VOICE

Yes!

NATHAN

I'm getting it from Sky Masterson.

JOEY'S VOICE

How do you know?

NATHAN

It's a bet - I can't lose. I bet him he could not take a doU to Havana.

JOEY'S VOICE

Why couldn't he?

NATHAN

Because she ain't the kind of doll that goes to Havana.

JO EY'S VOICE

Where does she go?

G u vs & D OLLS

N ATHA N

She don't go no place. That's why I know I'm gonna win .

JOEY'S V O I C E

:)on't be so sure-It ain' t a horse, it's a doll-

NATHAN

aut Joey -

JOEY'S V OICE

:\athan, there will be no crap game here tomorrow unless I get my dough in advance.

NATHAN

·oey, you've known me for a long time.

JOEY' S V OICE

-:bat's "'"hy I want it in advance.

NATHAN

' \.ell, I can't talk no more-l got to meet Adelaide at the H ot Box. Look, just one

:bing. Can I at least tell the guys that the game is gonna be at your p lace?

JOEY'S VOICE

:\ot till I get the dough.

N ATHAN

..Jkay, you'll get it. Goodbye!

JOEY'S VOICE

C.oodbye!

N ATH AN

: hope you get stabbed by a Studebaker!

BLACKOUT

*:- -Fanfare

Phone booth is pulled off stageR. #2 traveller opens. Lights dim up on- Hot Box -

ACT I, Scene iv : The Hot Box- lliglztclub

LIGHT CUE

Discovered - MASTER OF CEEREMONIES standing in front of microphone Stage C. The place is well crowded.

- 3 7 -

I I

- 38 - Gu vs & D or.ts

MASTER OF CEREMON IES

And now for the Grand Finale of our round the world revue-we take you down on the farm with our star Miss Adelaide and the Hot Box Farmerettes.

(DANCING GIRLS euter from R.2 and L.2 i11 abbreviated Farmcrettc costumes with large hats aud carryi11g rakes, hoes, pitchforks. There are two large pumpki11s, two scare­crows 011 stage- after dance by GIRLS, ADELAIDE cuter:. from R.2; carnjiug basketful of ears of com slle crosses to stage L., throws ear of com to two spectators. GIRL DANCER (ALLISON) briugs pumpkin down to stage L.C. GIRL DANCER (FERGUSON) briugs scarecrow down toR. ofpumpkill. GIRL DANCER (VERNON) gets two implemeu Is from two men stage L.)

# 7 t1 - B II s" d 1711 d 11 pI' c k

(Witl1 doll voices)

HE LOVES ME

HE LOVES ME ;\JOT

liE LOVES ME

HE LOVES ME NOT

{nte frustrated bump)

Ull-UH

(ADELAIDE euters)

(Sits 011 pumpkiu)

DOLLS

ADELAIDE

I LOVE YOU A BUSHEL AND A PECK

A BUSHEL AN D A PECK

AND A HUG AROUND THE NECK

HUG AROUND THE NECK

AND A BARREL AND A HEAP

BARREL AND A HEAP

AND I'M TALKIN' ll MY SLEEP

ABOUT YOU-

GIRLS

ABOUT YOU-

ADELAIDE

ABOUT YOU -

Gu YS & DOLLS

GIRLS

MY HEART IS LEAP I ',

HAVIN' TROUBLE SLEEPIN'

ADELAIDE

'CAUSE 1 LOVE YOU A BUSHEL AND A PECK

YOU BET YOUR PRETTY NECK J DO-

GiRLS move heads from R. to L. 8 times)

ADELAIDE & GIRLS

DOODLE, OODLE, OODLE,

DOODLE, OODLE, OODLE,

DOODLE, OODLE, OODLE, 000.

c·RLS change positions)

DOODLE, OODLE, OODLE,

DOODLE, OODLE, OODLE,

DOODLE, OODLE, OODLE, 000.

- -\THAN enters from stage R.2, sits on L. of table stageR. He calls to ADELAIDE. ~ :c crosses to him. GIRL DANCER- FERGUSON - looks for Adelaide, runs to her, --~·.-her on the shoulder and ADELAIDE leaves Nntlu111 to continue song- size yells

-iere clzick, chick, chick/' - throws her ear of com to NATHAN, which he catches)

ADELAIDE & GIRLS

1 LOVE YOU A BUSHEL AND II. PECK

A BUSHEL AND A PECK, THO' IT BEATS ME ALL TO HECK

~DELAIDE slaps R. leg)

ADELAIDE

BEATS ME ALL TO HECK

HOW l'LL EVER TE0JD THE FARM,

EVER TEND THE FAR1\t1,

WHEN I WANT TO KEEP MY ARMS

ABOUT YOU-

GIRLS

ABOUT YOU -

ADELAIDE

ABOUT YOU -

GIRLS

THE COWS AND CHICKENS ARE GOING TO THE DICKENS

- 39 -

-----

I

- 40 - GUYS & DOLLS

AD ELAIDE

'CAUSE I LOVE YOU A BUSHEL AND A PECK

YOU BET YOUR PRETTY ECK I DO

(GIRLS and ADELAIDE exit R.2)

LIGHT CUE

A D ELA IDE & DOLLS

DOODLE. OODLE, OODLE,

DOODLE, OODLE, ODDLE,

DOODLE, ODDLE, OODLE, 00.

GOOD-BYE NOW!

DOODLE, OODLE, OODLE,

DOODLE, OODLE, ODDLE,

DOODLE, ODDLE, OODLE, 00.

(Repeat "doodles" until they ALL exit)

#7b- Home, Sweet Home

(WAITER enters from R.2 wit/1 cup of coffee wl1icll he places 011 table frout of NATHAN - WAITER crosses to stage L., picks ttp pumpki11 and takes off stage L.2. WAlTER enters from stage L.2 witl1 push broom and starts sweeping up petals that were used in number by da11cing girls. ORCHESTRA plays "HOME, SWEET HOME" signifi;ing the place is closing.

PATRONS exit R.2, some a little tight- NATHAN hums "BUSHEL AND A PECK" to himself as the WAITER is sweeping up)

(Singing)

N ATH A N

I LOVE YOU A BUSHEL A1 D A PECK­

THAT LOUSY JOEY BILTMORE-

(ADELAJDE enters from stage R.2 dressed in dressing gown, carrying a cardboard box with "Sally's Wedding Shop. " printed on it, also a book. She places cardboard box 011

fableR.

NATHAN rises as ADELAIDE enters aud throws ear of com upstage. HE tums to ADELAIDE wlto rushes illto his arms)

LIGHT CUE

Guvs & DO L LS

ADELAIDE 2ello, Nathan.

(Placing cardboard box back of table, THEY embrace)

NATHAN :..:ello, pie face.

ADELAIDE ~ow are you, handsome.

NATHAN 7 :::1e. What have you got there?

ADELAIDE - ::X,ok.

NATHAN • ~ok! You're always reading books. You're becoming a regular bookie.

ADELAIDE

.=than darling, this is very interesting. The doctor gave it to me. I went to him • :xmt my cold.

Sits in chair with book in hand)

NATHAN -=ow is your cold?

ADELAIDE - ~ the same. So the doctor asked me how long I had had it, and I told him a long

-::.;;:-e, and I said l thought it was on account of my dancing with hardly any clothes - which is what I usually wear, so he said to read this book, because he said it

--;ht be due to psychology.

NATHAN .:::.1 haven't got that, have you?

ADELAIDE .:1man, this is the psychology that tells you why girls do certain kinds of things.

NATHAN :'.:-~ -Would it tell you what kind of a doll would go for a certain kind of a guy

:..lch you wouldn't think she would do so?

ADELAIDE ~at do you mean?

NATHAN :::1. just for instance. There are certain dolls you can almost bet they wouldn't go for

.:~::iain guys.

- 41 -

II

- 42 - GUYS & DOLLS

ADELAIDE

Nathan, no matter how terrible a fellow seems, you can never be sure that some girl won't go for him. Take us.

NATHAN Yeah.

ADELAID E

(Rises, places book 011 table, crosses to Nat/Jan)

Nathan darling. Starting with next week, I'm going to get a raise. So with what I'll be making, I wondered what you would think-maybe we could finally get married.

NATHAN

(Loosening his collar as lte feels tlze strain)

Well, of course we're going to, sooner or later.

I know, Nathan­

(Sneeze)

ADELAIDE

-but I'm starting to worry about Mother.

NATHAN Your mother? What about your mother?

ADELAIDE

Well, Nathan, this is something I never told you before, but my mother, back in Rhode rsland-

(Sits in chair L. of fable)

-she thinks we're married already.

NATHAN Why would she think a thing like that?

ADELAIDE I couldn't be engaged for fourteen years, could I? People don't do that in Rhode Island. They all get married.

NATHAN

Then why is it such a small State?

ADELAIDE Anyway-1 wrote her [was married.

(Standing)

You did, huh?

NATHAN

GU)' S & DOLLS

ADELAIDE

(Ench word coming through pnin)

':...11, huh. Then, after about two years­

(She comes to n lmlt:)

·\1wt after about two years?

(In n very small voice)

.,.e had a baby.

(Crosses t:o L.)

NATHAN

ADELAIDE

NATHAN

_ou told your mother we had a baby?

ADELAIDE

Rises, crosses to lzim)

.::ad to, Nathan. Mother wouldn't have understood if we hadn't.

NATHAN :1at type baby was it?

ADELAIDE • .\·as a boy. I named it after you, Nathan.

:--:a.."lk you.

·- .1're welcome.

~rosses way to C.)

NATHAN

ADELAIDE

NATHAN -i- uh-where is Nathan, Jr., supposed to be now?

ADELAIDE _: ~ s in boarding school.

HE nods)

-Tote Mother he won the football game last Satw·day.

NATHAN ish 1 had a bet on it.

ADELAIDE

=-~ ::\athan-

- 43 -

- 44 - Guys & Do1 u;

(ADELAIDE)

(Tums nway)

-that's not all, !\:a than.

NATHAN

(Crosses to her-n pnuse)

Don't tell me he has a little sister.

ADELAIDE

All those years, Nathan. Mother believes in big families.

(Puts !Ja11ds to ears)

Just give me the grand totaL

(Hardly able to get tlle word out)

Five.

(Crosses to L.)

NATHAN

ADELAIDE

NATHAN

Your mother must be a glutton for punishment.

ADELAIDE

(Crosses to llim)

Anyway, athan, now we're finally getting married, and it won't be a lie any more.

NATHAN

(A lligll moml tone)

Adelaide, how could you do such a thing! To a nice old broad like your mother?

ADELAIDE

But Nathan, you don'l even know my mother!

NATHAN

But I'll be meeting her soon, and what'll' 1 tell her?

(Crosses to R., pass Adelnide)

What'll I tell her 1 did with the five kids? Traded them to the Phillies or something. What are we going to do?

(Crosses to Natlw11)

We could get married.

ADELAIDE

Cur s & DOLLS

NATHAN 3ut marriage ain't something you jump into like it was a kettle of fi sh.

(Feeling his collar again)

e ain't ready.

• "'11 ready, Nathan.

Crosses to table R., picks up box)

n at do you think r got in this box?

'Siurwi11g lii111 box)

ADELAIDE

athan! What do you thiink I got in this box?

NATHAN

Rending cover of box)

5-a.ly's Wedding Shop." I can't guess.

ADELAIDE 'a wedding veil. I've had it for three years. J won't show it to you, because it's -~luck-Would you like to see it?

NATHAN ' bad luck.

ADELAIDE .., Ju see, Nathan darling, I got the veil.

_,_tfs box down on table)

• '' e need now is our license and our blood test.

.=rosses to Adelaide)

'....:what?

"' j test. lt's a law.

NATHAN

ADELAIDE

NATHAN -..Jt a city! First they close my crap game, then they open my veins.

ADELAIDE .!:nan, you' re not planning to run your crap game again?

NATHAN • .:.::a ide, how can you trunk such a thing! Why do you think I give up the crap =-~e It's because I love you, and I wan t us two to be the happiest married couple - ..:: :here is in the world -

- 45 -

- 46 - GUl' S & DOLLS

(MIMI enters half undressed, wearing a short robe)

Anybody see an earring out here?

(She is searching the floor)

(Giving a perfunctory look)

J don't think so.

(Seeing Natha11)

MIMI

ADELAIDE

MIMI

You! I'm all dated up Lomorrow with Society Max and he breaks it on account of your dopey crap game. Honest, Adelaide, I pity you-

(Sees earring on floor and picks it up)

Oh, here it is.

(She exits R.2. ADELAIDE fit riously crosses to Nathan -NATHAN gets down on his knees pleadingly with outstretched arms)

NATHAN Adelaide, look at me. I'm down on my knees.

ADELAIDE

(T11rning away from ltim)

Oh, get up. It reminds me of your crap game.

(Crosses to R. She sneezes)

NATHAN

(Crosses belzilld Adelaide to herR.)

Look, you're getting yourself upset-you and 1 a1·e going to be all right-after all, we love each other, and we're going to get married-

ADELAIDE I don't believe you any more.

NATHAN But it's true. You'll feel better tomorrow; come on, cheer up, honey­

(He crosses to fler and chucks her under the chin)

Let's see that old smile-

(No response)

That's my girl. See you tomorrow.

(SHE sneezes. HE rushes off R.l. ADELAIDE crosses to table R., picks up book)

GUYS & DOLL S

=~-Adelaide's Lament

tReading)

=>ays here­

Sillging)

ADELAIDE

THE AVERAGE UNMARRIED FEMALE, BASICALLY lNSECURE

DUE TO SOME LO G FRUSTRATIO , MAY REACT

Sits clmir R.)

WITH PSYCHOSOMATIC SYMPTOMS,

DIFFICULT TO ENDURE

AFFECTING THE UPPER RESPrRATORY TRACT.

Looks up from book)

I OTHER WORDS, JUST FROM WAm G AROUND

FOR THAT PLAIN LITTLE BAND OF GOLD.

A PERSON - CAN DEVELOP A COLD

YOU CAN SPRAY HER WHEREVER

YOU FIGURE THE STREPTOCOCCI LURK

YOU CAN GIVE HER A SHOT FOR WHATEVER SHE'S GOT

BUT IT JUST WON'T WORK

lF SHE'S TrRED OF GETfl G THE FISH-EYE

FROM THE HOTEL CLERK

A PERSON-CAl DEVELOP A COLD.

Rends again)

• --a\ ·s here:

- '\ote:

THE FEtvtALE REMAINING 51 'GLE, JUST 1 THE LEGAL SE 1SE

SHOWS A NEUROTIC TENDENCY; -SEE NOTE-

Looks at 11ote)

CHRONIC, ORGANIC SYNDROMS, TOXIC OR HYPERTENSE

INVOLVING THE EYE, THE EAR, AND THE NOSE, A ' D THROAT

Looks up, puts book down and rises, crosses down C.)

IN OTHER WORDS, JUST FROM WORRYING

WHETHER THE WEDDING IS ON OR OFF

A PERSON-CAN DEVELOP A COUGH.

- 47 -

- 48 - GUYS & DOLL S

(ADELAIDE)

YOU CAN FEED HER ALL DAY

WITH THE VITAM!l\J A AND THE BROMO FIZZ

BUT THE MEDICINE EVER GETS A YWHERE EAR 1NHERE THE TROUBLE IS

IF SHE'S GETTING A KIND OF NAME FOR HERSELF

A1 D THE NAME A £N'T HIS

A PERSO - CA DEVELOP A COUGH.

A D FURTHERMORE, JUST FROM STALLING A D STALLING

AND STALLING THE WEDDING TRIP

A PERSON- CAN DEVELOP LA GRIPPE.

(Back up to table with sweet meditation)

WHEN THEY GET ON THE TRAIN FOR NIAGARA,

AND SIIE CAN HEAR CHURCH BELLS CHIME

(Sits ill cltair R. of table)

THE COMPARTME TIS AIR CONDITIO ED,

AND THE MOOD SUBUME

(Suddenly angry, SHE pounds box. Rises, crosses D.R.C.)

THE THEY GET OFF AT SARATOGA.

FOR Tl-IE FOURTEE!\'TH TIME

A PERSO LCAN DEVELOP LA GRIPPE

HM! LA GRIPPE

LA POST NASAL DRIP-

WITH THE WHEEZES, AND THE SNEEZES,

AND A SINUS THAT'S REALLY A PIP

FROM A LACK OF COMMUNITY PROPERTY

AND A FEELING SHE'S GETTING TOO OLD

A PERSON-CA DEVELOP A BAD, BAD COLD.

LIGHT CUE

BLACKOUT

#Sa- Change vf Sce11e

#2 Street Traveller closes. Stage lights dim in to mark

GUYS & DOLLS

=~ -Opening Scene 5

ACT I, Scene v : A street off Broadway

-:HE MISSION BAND enters from L.l and crosses from L. toR. Tiley are playing rollow the Fold." MARTI-lA leads, carrying a sign, duplicate of tl1e one we saw in _\1ission Interior"- Scene 2, with the exception that it shows that "Proverbs" has been

rubbed off and "Isaiah" substituted. AGATHA is behind MAI~THA playing the trom­_·ne, CALVIN playing tl1e cornet, ARVJDE the bass drum and cymbals, SARAH with ;.;-r tanbourine. SKY is patiently following along behind. SARAH who is aware of his ~~esence, gives an annoyed flounce as sire gets to C. stage. NICELY sneaks on following _3:KY n11d notices the looks of annoyance that SARAH gives SKY He looks after them .;.,m stage L.C. as BENNY follows on almost immediately. NlCELY is still peering off -;.;ge R. as they all exit-

BENNY :\icely!

:herving the direction of Nicely's gaze)

:.a;: are you looking at?

NICELY

:'dighted, turning to Benny)

··.-as just following Miss Sarah, and you should have seen her.

::~gives an imitation of Sarah 's snootiness)

--:.-.e ;:ve him a look that would have cooled off a moose at mating time.

BENNY

,: .. ,,sses toR.)

-:.:.:~Just so he don't take her to Havana.

NICELY - ana! He couldn't take this doll to New Rochelle - Where's Nathan? He ought to -: :ming up the game.

BENNY

-= ~ :: t know-I suppose trying to see Adelaide. She's mad at him again.

?!!ers off- looks at wristwatch)

NICELY -...:: ~[iss Adelaide. She is always taking his mind off honest work.

BENNY

.:::rosses to L. pass Nicely)

- 49 -

----

- 50 - Guvs & Dotts

(BENNY)

Yes, it's too bad that a smart businessman like Nathan has to go and fall in love with his own fiancee.

N I CELY

Benny, that is his weakness, and we should be tolerant, because I am told that it is a worldwide weakness. Look!

(Poi11ts out front)

L/GIITCUE

#10 - Guy :; [-t Doll :;

NICELY

WHAT'S PLAYING AT THE ROXY

(Takes BENNY to Stage C.)

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S PLAYING AT THE ROXY

A PICTURE ABOUT A MINNESOTA MAN,

SO It LOVE WITH A MISSISSTPPI GIRL

THAT HE SACRIFICES EV'RYfHIN'G

Al\:D MOVES ALL THE WAY TO BILOXI

THAT'S WHAT'S PLAYIXG AT THE ROXY.

BENNY

(Hits NICELY in Chest)

\lVI fAT'S IN THE DAILY NEWS

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S I THE DAILY NEWS

(Shows paper to Nicely)

STORY ABOUT A GUY

WllO BOUGHT HIS WIFE A SMALL RUBY,

WITH WHAT OTHERWISE WOULD HAVE BEEN HIS UNION DUES

THAT'S WHAT'S IN THE DAILY NEWS.

(Puts paper i11 pocket)

NICELY

(fakes BENNY toR. stage)

WHAT'S HAPPEKING ALL OVER?

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S HAPPENlNG ALL OVER.

GUYS SlTTh'\!G HOME BY A TELEVISION SET,

WHO ONCE USED TO BE SOMETHING OF A ROVER.

GUY S & DO LLS

BOTH

THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING ALL OVER

LOVE IS THE THING THAT HAS LICKED 'EM

AND IT LOOKS LIKE NATHAN'S JUST ANOTHER VICTIM.

:.;.._::hae with hand to sky)

YES SIR,

WHEN YOU SEE A GUY,

NICELY

REACH FOR STARS IN THE SKY,

YOU CAN BET THAT HE'S DOING IT FOR SOME DOLL.

BENNY

WHEN YOU SPOT A JOHN WAITING OUT IN THE RAIN

-= :s collar up)

CHANCES ARE HE'S INSANE

AS ONLY A JOHN CAl'>f BE FOR A JANE.

NICELY

WHEN YOU MEET A GENT

PAYING ALL KIN DS OF RENT

FOR A FLAT THAT COULD FLATTEN THE TAJ MAHAL!

BOTH

CALL IT SAD, CALL IT FUNNY,

BUT IT S BETTER THAN EVEN MONEY

-=-- nd fists)

THAT THE GUY'S ONLY DOING IT FOR SOME DOLL

BENNY

_.:.IE on Nicely)

WHEN YOU SEE A JOE

SAVING HALF OF HIS DOUGH

YOU CAN BET THERE'LL BE MINK IN IT FOR SOME DOLL

NICELY

WHEN A BUM BUYS WINE

LIKE A BUM CAN'T AFFORD

IT'S A CINCH THAT THE BUM

IS UNDER THE THUMB OF SOME LITTLE BROAD.

- 51 -

- 52 - G u Y s & D o L 1. s

BENNY

WHEN YOU MEET A MUG,

LATELY OUT OF THE JUG,

AND HE'S STILL LIFTING PLATI~UM FOLDEROL

(Gesture witllltaud plucking)

BOTH

CALL IT HELL, CALL IT HEAVEN,

IT'S A PROBABLE TWELVE TO SEVEN

THAT TilE GUY'S

(Pou 11d fists)

ONLY DOING IT FOR SOME DOLL.

(A GUY nnd DOLL e11ter R.l.- She has 11 long cigarette holder. He carries a land of suit boxes and hat boxes. Stops L.C. He takes lighter from pocket muf lights cigarette. She blows smoke in l1is face. She exits L.l, followed by GUY)

BENNY

WHEN YOU SEE A SPORT

AJ D HJS CASH HAS RUN SHORT

MAKE A BET THAT HE'S BANKING IT WITH SOME DOLL

NICELY

(Crosses to L. of Beuny)

WHEN A GUY WEARS TAJLS

WIT! I THE FRONT GLEAMING WHITE

WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK

HE' S TICKLING PINK

ON SATURDAY NTGHT?

BENNY

(Crosses to Nicely)

WHEN A LAzy SLOB TAKES A GOOD STEADY JOB

AND HE SMELLS FROM VITA US AND BARBASOL

BOTH

CALL IT DUMB, CALL IT CLEVER,

AH, BUT YOU CAN GIVE ODDS FOREVER

THAT THE GUY'S 0 TLY DOlNG IT

FOR SOME DOLL, SOME DOLL, SOME DOLL,

THE GUY'S ONLY DOING IT FOR SOME DOLL!

(Crosses to L. tlze11 stop- they BOTH exit L.1 at Jill ish of song)

GUY S & D OLLS

=:Broadway Street Traveller opens reveali11g Exterior of Mission.

~::;HT CUE

·~: -Opening-Scene 6

ACT I, Scene vi: Mission exterior.

• .: ~ ,-aund hmdi time. THE MISSION BAND enters from L.l l1ended by CALVIN ·:: carrying his comet by !Jis side. It is very obvious that lie is tired aud discour-

• . \ ,1ARTHA follows carrying tl1e sign tiJa t we saw in tiJe previous scene. She is not ~ 'lng it erect but at l1er side. AGATHA is carrying her trombone listlessly -- IDE is carrying his drum by his side- also very discouraged and tired. SARAH

· ·:: 011 immediately behind ARVID£ nud as siJe enters siJe is gltmcing offstage L. • .g ~(SKY MASTERSON is following her.

SARAH we finally lost him.

ARVIDE -'l..unk you should have paid some attention to him.

AGATHA -r a ttended every street meeting we had this morning. He must be interested in

.)rk.

SARAH

AGATHA - ~ way, you spoke beautifuUy this mornin~ Sarah.

SARAH

--:onsolately- crosses R. to Agatha)

.:an' t reach these people. I should never have volunteered for this post- Well, - .:n in to lunch.

GATHA, CALVIN and MARTHA exit into Mission)

• was going to convert Broadway all by myself .

.: -=::es towards Mission door)

, going to take these gamblers and have them just begging to come to the .,.on.

::- t? sees Sky's Marker in trash basket, picks it up. She alld A111ide are the only ones of .viissio11 Ba11d who remain outdoors. GENERAL CARTWRIGHT, the head of the

: -:·c-A-Soul Mission enters from stage L.l just as Sarnl1 angrily I !trows Marker back \ wire trash basket. She sees the GENERAL)

- 53 -

- 54 - GU YS & DOLL S

(SARAH) General Cartwright!

GENERAL Good morning, Sarah. Arvide.

ARVIDE Good morning, General.

SARAH We didn't know you were coming to town, General.

GENERAL I got in early this morning. I've spent the last hour trying to find you.

(AGATHA appears in the Mission doorway)

SARAH Oh, I'm sorry. We've been holding some extra street meetings, trying to stimulate more interest-

AGATHA Good morning, General.

GENERAL Good morning-Sarah, there's something I want to talk to you about.

SARAH Won't you come inside-have some lunch with us?

GENERAL No, I don't have time, dear. I have several other calls to make-Sarah, we at head­quarters have come to a definite conclusion. We have decided to close this branch of the Mission.

SARAH Oh, no.

ARVIDE Close the Mission!

SARAH But, General, please! Someone can do good here, even if I can't.

GENERAL Sarah, there are so many calls on us, -

(SARAH crosses to L., pass GENERAL)

-so many other places where our work is really needed.

GUYS & DOLLS

ARVIDE e :rre doing much better now.

AGATHA :: ~"-''lounced a big meeting for tomorrow night.

GENERAL c a...-mounced a meeting! But will anyone be here? Will anybody come?

- .:i"~-md's pause, then SKY enters from R.l with quiet dignihJ)

SKY :: me- I couldn' t help overhearing- General, my name is Sky Masterson, ~5inner.

GENERAL ::i:" YOU do?

SKY :::0 you do?- I wish to protest the closing of this Mission. I believe Miss Sarah

Y- a big success here.

GENERAL ~;.ad to hear you say that, but I'm not so certain.

SKY ~ will get you ten.

GENERAL

~- k:s at Sarah)

SKY ~~-at might I make a suggestion-

.:-c~ to trasl1 basket and picks up marker which l1e conceals in his hat)

GENERAL

SKY --don' t you come to the meeting tomorrow night and find out for yow·self -

.:rosses to Sarah and drops marker in her tambourine- then crosses toR.)

-~-~you think that would be a good idea?

GENERAL -::...: if I thought the Mission had a chance-

- 55 -

- 56 - GUYS & DOLL S

~~-·----------------------------------------------------------------------------

II

SARAH

(Lookiug at Marker in tnmlwurine)

General, I personally guarantee you one dozen genuine sinners.

GENERAL

Hallelujah!

SKY

Hallelujah!

BLACKOUT

# 1 2 - C h a 11 ~ c of S c c 11 c

#2 Street traveller closes. Stage lights dim up to full.

ACT I, Scene vii: Street off Broadway

LIGHTCU£

The crap shooters walk 011- HARRY THE HORSE is in tile lend followed by BIG ]ULE- after they are all on BENNY e11ters from L.

(Crosses to R., then back to L.)

You all got your carnations?

(Ad lib "Yes")

BENNY

Remember, no one will be let in to the game without they got red carnations. It's like a pass word.

HARRY

Okay, but when:!'s the game?

(Exc/amntio11s from the mob- NATHAN enters from R.1. BENNY crosses to him)

BENNY

I'll tell you in a minute. Nathan, is it all set? Can 1 tell the guys that it's at the Biltmore Garage?

NATHAN

Not yet. I got to stall'em for a while. Joey wants his dough first.

BENNY

But it's eleven o'clock-they won't stick around much longer.

NATHAN

So sue me. I left Nicely at my hotel to wait for the money from Sky. It'll be there.

GUYS & DOLLS

(Enter NICEL~ eating sandwich, from R.1. NATHAN crosses to lzim)

·"here's the dough?

N ICELY - hasn' t come yet.

NATHAN :old you to wait for it.

N ICELY

llzdicnting sandwich)

-..ad to get some groceries. I felt a little fairtt.

NATHAN

-~ back to the hotel and wait for the money from Sky and don't come back here :.'tout it even if you starve to death.

NICELY .uy, Nathan.

- -ATHAN pushes NICELY off R.l. HARRY THE HORSE crosses over to Nathan R. 3 =:\ iNY crosses to L. of Harry)

HARRY --~:e's the game, Detroit?

NATHAN

Harry the Horse, how are you, Harry. How's everything in Brooklyn?

HARRY

- oit, if you do not have no place for your game, tell us, and we will seek else­~e for entertainment.

NATHAN :ake it easy, Harry.

HARRY

- -:.e, Detroit, you will not spoil our evening, inasmuch as I happen to be enter--,g a very prominent guest tonight. I think you might have heard of him.

-_:!JOints to a big tough looking guy)

-.:d like you to meet Big Jule from Chicago.

-.-...THAN crosses to Big Jule, HARRY follows. BENNY holds-)

er"! ingratiating)

~ow do you do, Big Jule.

: ...;J.:es fzn11ds perfunctorily)

NATHAN

- 57 -

I

- 58 - GUYS & DOLL S

(NATHAN) Welcome to our fair city, in which as you know the heat is on. Bul just be patient and you'll get some action.

(BIG ]ULE just stands fltere looking at Nathan)

HARRY What do you say, Big Jule, shall we slick around or shall we blow?

BIG JULE

(Positively)

I came here to shoot crap. Let's shoot crap.

NATHAN Sure, sure.

HARRY

Nathan-

(NATHAN crosses to Harry)

-if there is no crap game tonight I am sure Big Jule will be considerably displeased; and Big Jule does not like to be displeased, as you can find out from those citizens who at one time or another displeased him. Although I will admit it is very hard to find such citizens in view of the fact that they are no longer arow1d and about.

NATHAN

Why, Harry, you don't think I would be so rude as to displease a gentleman like Big Jule here, do you?

(He p11ts llis hand 011 Big Jute's arm)

Big Jule, believe me when 1 tell you that when Nathan Detroit-Nathan Detroit­

(He moves his lzand tmd pats Big Jule 011 the chest. His words slow down as he feels Jute's gun. He removes 11is hand as tlwugl1 lie touched a hot stove)

-When Nathan Deh·oit arranges something-you can count on it that-

(He peters out as BRANNIGAN enters from L.l and crosses to the group. They are practically lined up for him and he looks them over ven; carefully)

BRANNIGAN Well!- Well! - an interesting gathering indeed. The cream of society- Angie the Ox -Society Max - Rusty Charlie-Liver Lips Louie.

(He walks up looking them over - goes down the li11e but nobody says anything)

Hey, Harry the Horse, all the way from Brooklyn, and-

(Steps up- stops in front of Big Jule)

Pardon me, I'm very bad on names, but your face looks familiar. Mind telling me where you're from?

G u Ys & DoLLS

: :: IULE chetus his cigar a moment)

BIG JULIE Ui.t:'fo, Illinois.

BRANNIGAN z do you do there?

BIG JULIE - - S.."C'ut ~aster.

BRANNIGAN ..:..,""~;': t ever help my mother across the street.

·, •7awer in one of the mug's lapel)

--.o~·elv.

• •er the line-up of flowered lapels)

~ like the male chorus-

~.; :J.L.)

3.ossom Time". What's the occasion?

"".: :tm:el over the entire group. Thetj finally settle on Benny)

-- · ...

· ~""!at kind of a party?

N ATHAN

BENNY

BRANNIGAN

• .,wment ADELAIDE backs onto the stage fmm R.1 . Size is waving at some

ADELAIDE

'= girls, see you tomorrow.

- 59 -

_""' ~- ~es her and immediately get.s his idea, lie grabs ADELAIDE by the waist and • ·£r trver to Brannigan)

- ~clor dinner. N athan's getting married.

ADELAID E

HARRY

- X:•!g Nntlzmt and lending !tim forcibly to Adelaide and placing him wit/1 his arms ~·Adelaide. NATHAN is obviously taken by surprise and shows if)

- ·nrrect, Lieutenant! It's a bachelor dinner. Nathan's getting married.

- 6 0 - G u Y s & D o I. I s

BENNY

Yes, sir!

(Siugs)

FOR-

GROUP

-HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW,

FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW

FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW-

BIG JULE

(Step down C.)

Which nobody cannot deny.

(Slaps Natllmt 011 back, almost upsetting HIM. NATHAN lifts ADELAIDE to stageR.)

ADELAIDE

Nathan darling, I'm so thrilled! Why didn't you tell me?

NATHAN

It was a surprise.

ADELAIDE

But when I saw you standing here with all these-fine gentlemen, I never dreamed it was a bachelor dinner. 1 thought it was a-

(Suddeuly dropping in)

Oh, it's a bachelor dinner.

(Also to the reswe)

It's a bachelor dinner.

Yes, sir! A bachelor dinner.

NATHAN

BENNY

NATHAN

ADELAIDE

Just think after fourteen years I'm finally going to become Mrs. athan Detroit. Ttme Certainly does fly.

BRANNIGAN

Tell me, Nathan. When is the happy day?

ADELAIDE

When will it be, Nathan?

GU\'S & DOLlS

NATHAN 1-

BRANNIGAN ~ . .,an, these good fellows are nice enough to give you a bachelor dinner. You

.. lid at least tell them the w edding date.

NATHAN

5Jpu fs)

we need time for a license and our blood test.

ADELAIDE

: .:lis)

.,·ouldn't it be wonderful if we could be married tomorrow night. Right after ,;ow at the Hot Box.

NATHAN ide, we need tine for a license-

BRANNIGAN ,r~uld elope.

NATHAN .. ., BRANNIGAN

,.:.n drive dawn to Maryland-what's the name of that town?

BENNY

'· 11di11g to R. of Brannigan)

BRANNIGAN P1rnlico, no, Nathan, Elkton. They'll marry you right away. They don't ask you

a .:"iood test.

NATHAN t ~hat unhealthy?

HARRY oan, that's a great idea-elope. I'll lend you my getaway car.

:. t11kes a quick look at Brnnnig(llt)

.:'u ick-

'llWS Iter arms around his neck)

:\athan, let's do it.

ADELAIDE

- 61 -

- 6 0 - G U\' S & D OLLS

BENNY

Yes, sir!

(Si11gs)

FOR-

GROUP

-HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW,

FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW

FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW-

BIG JULE

(Step down C.)

Which nobody cannot deny.

(S lnps Nnthnn 011 bnck, nlmost upsetting HIM. NATHAN lifts ADELAIDE to stnge R.)

ADELAIDE Nathan darling, I'm so thrilled! Why didn't you tell me?

NATHAN

lt was a surprise.

ADELAIDE But when I saw you standing here with all these- fine gentlemen, I never dreamed it was a bachelor dinner. I thought it was a-

(Surlde11ly droppi11g in)

Oh, it's a bachelor dinner.

(A lso to the rescue)

It's a bachelor dinner.

Yes, sir! A bachelor dinner.

N ATHAN

BENNY

NATHAN

ADELAIDE

Just think after fourteen years I'm finally going to become Mrs. Nathan Detroit. Time Certainly does fly.

BRAN NIGAN Tell me, Nathan. When is the happy day?

ADELAIDE When will it be, Nathan?

Cur s & DoLLS

NATHAN

BRANNIGAN

-"'..an, these good fellows are nke enough to give you a bachelor dinner. You _J at least tell them the wedding date.

NATHAN

:: .tts)

,,.e need time for a license and our blood test.

ADELAIDE

~ ;: 13)

·ouldn't it be wonderful if we could be married tomorrow night. Right after ~-:-ow at the Hot Box.

NATHAN

de, we need tine for a license-

BRANNIGAN

- - uld elope.

NATHAN

BRANNIGAN

,_.,_drive dawn to Maryland-what's the name of that town?

:··:r.ti11g toR. ofBrannigau)

-o.

BENNY

BRANNIGAN

::" :nlico, no, Nathan, Elkton. They'll marry you right away. They don' t ask you :: ood test.

NATHAN

• ~;at unhealthy?

HARRY

- that's a great idea -elope. I'll lend you my getaway car .

..: :.1/..:es a quick look at Brannigmz)

3-tck-

·;cs ller arms around his neck)

~athan, let's do it.

ADELAIDE

- 61 -

- 62 -

(Long pause- siglzs)

Well-what the hell-

GU YS & DO LI. S

NATHAN

(THEY embrace. ALL congratulate him- ad lib)

BRANNIGAN

My congratulations too, Nathan. And I only hope there is nothing in heredity.

(He exits L.1)

ADELAIDE

Nathan, I got so many things to do before we elope. You'll be at the Hot Box tomorrow n ight?

NATHAN

I'll have a table reserved and f'll be all dressed up in whatever you elope in.

ADELAIDE

Oh, Nathan, f'm so happy. I ought to wire my mother. Only what'll I wire her?

NATHAN Send the telegram and date it back.

ADELAIDE

I'd better wail until we have five children. It won't take us long.

(She exits R.l)

HARRY

(Crosses R. to Natlwn)

Nathan, you are indeed a lucky fellow. A most beautiful doll indeed. Do you agree, Big Jule?

BIG JULE Tell me-

(To Natha11)

-HOW LONG YOU KNOW THE DOLL?

NATHAN Fourteen years.

BIG JULE Let's shoot crap.

BENNY

(Darts over to Nathan)

Nathan, you'd better find a place!

GUY S & DOLL S

NATHAN

"" i' The money from Sky ain't come yet.

BENNY : ., on't come! Maybe he took the doll to Havana.

NATHAN

.ir t have! How could he! She couldn't have gone!

-= ~J of Scene 7

=

:1, c of the approaching MISSION BAND is l1enrd. NATHAN galvanizes to 1 realizes l1e will11ow find out. The band enter from Kl, one at a time witl1

- A \ anxiously COIIIIHng them as t11ey enter- MARTHA, carrying sign "All .::m~ade Against The Devil"- t11e11 AGATHA, CALVIN a11d ARVID E. A pause, AfHAN places lzand to head and collapses 011 Benny's slwulder)

.... traveller closes. #2 street traveller opens. Havana projection appears 011 #1 ·r. L1ghts up behind Tra11s. #1 traveller. #1 Trnv. ope11s.

ACT I, Scene viii: Havana, Cuba- A dive

- ITCUE

z~ blnri11g aud dmzcing flaring. SKY ushers SARAH i11to the place R.2, b11t it is ell (or her prhn soul. She takes one lock a11d flees. SKY lllltst of course follow her.

Trans. traveller closes to stage L. Stage lights Jade to a blackout.

u nable co11ple dancing enter from R.1.- they are picked 11p l1y tl1e front arc -Immediately following them a 1111it 011 casters, wit/1 a table and two chairs is d tlll to marks at extreme stage R.

• 11t represents the Hotel Nacio11a/e. SARAH and SKY are bowed into the place by r ... r\D WAITER. As they enter tl1ey are picked up by the front nrc spot. SARAH is

R. of table and SKY L. of table. SARAH is ltandetl an enormous menu by the - 0 WAITER. SHE looks the me11u over.

SARAH

. -..andwich.

- 63 -

- 64 - G UYS& D OIIS

(WALTER, SKY and DANCING COUPLE gh'e her n quick incredulous look. Arc spot blacks out 011 SARAH and SKY. The platform unit is pulled off stageR. with SARAH and SKY on it to be reset with the Street Cafe.

DANCING COUPLE dance of!L.l. arc spot blacks out on tflem as they exit.

SARAH enters with guide book in lzer hand followed by SKY. Tlzey are picked up by front nrc spot as they enter and stop R.C. SARAH looks in guide book, theu poi11ts toward audience supposedly ton monu1mmt tablet. First Tablet-)

SARAH

(Dialogue in tempo)

EL SANTO CRISTO,

THE SECOND OLDEST MISSION

IN CUBA -

COMCON!

SKY WJJERC TO?

SARAH

10 SEE THE OLDEST-

(SARAH walks to up ceuter stage, followed by SKY. She points toward nudie11ce as sl1e looks in guide book. Second Tablet - )

"DON'T \IIJSS THE DU, GEONS WHERE

PRIS' ' ERS WERE THROWN TO THE SHARKS."

SKY SOUNDS LIKE A MILLIO N LAUGHS.

(SARAH walks upstage then walks down stage L. as she looks l1cr guide book over­SKY follows l1er obviously very tired. She points toward audicmce. Third Tablet - )

SARAH

HERE IS BURlED

CHRISTOPI TER COLUMBUS.

SKY AT LEAST HE'S LYJi"G DOWl'\.

(SARAH starts to walk to stage R. when at this moment n ven; SEXY CUBAN DANCING GIRL enters from R.l followed by hvo CUBAN DANCING MEN. SARAH ami SKY give them a quick glance as they pass by and exit L.l. -A WA lTER pushes on the unit which lias bew reset with n mantle and two chairs and a table. This reprcseuts a cheap street Cafe. SARAH and SKY walk to stageR. She sits in chair R. of table- SKY in chair L. of table. A SHODDY LOOKING WAITER stands at extreme R. waiting to take their order)

GUYS & DOLLS

SKY HOW ABOUT A DRINK?

SARAH A MILK SHAKE, PLEASE.

SKY

- .img up hvo fingers to waiter)

DULCE DE LECHE.

-liTER signals back with fingers knowhzgly. SARAH goes back to her guide book, to ~ mmoyance. WAITER returns with two drinks in cocomwt shells - as lle serves

- · 'ze spills some 011 her dress which he quickly wipes off with a soiled serving ._. , ·which he cnrries. SARAH sips drink as does Sky)

SARAH

;g drink)

~ "r111k)

THESE ARE DELICIOUS.

WHAT DID YOU CALL THEM?

DULCE DE LECHE.

DULCE DE LECHE.

WHAT'S IN IT

BESIDES MILK?

OH,SUGAR

SKY

SARAH

SKY

AND A KIND OF ATIVE FLAVOURING.

SARAH WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE FLAVOUR! G?

SKY BACARDL

SARAH

IT'S VERY GOOD.

I'LL HAVE ANOTHER ONE .

.:.-:-:CUE

..., .: :.JGHT black out. Music cltange.)

- 65 -

- 66 - GUYS & DOLLS

.... _··~------------------------------------

LlGIITCUE

(NOT£: SARAH and SKY pick up Jour empty cocoanut shells which were placed on platform- they place them 011 the table duriug blackout to denote thetj have had several driuks.

SKY is dallciug his ftugers on the table as the front arc spot picks them up. He tucks her uuder the chi11. SHE brushes lzis hand away)

SARAH

(Sippillg her drink)

DOESN'T BACARDI HAVE ALCOHOL IN IT?

SKY.

ONLY ENOUGH TO ACT AS A PRESERVATIVE.

SARAH

(A little tipsy)

You know-this would be a wonderful way to get children to drink milk.

(Same CUBAN DANCING GIRL followed by the two CUBAN DANCING MEN that we saw before enter from stage L.l. Tirey cross to stageR. doillg their same sexy routine as IIIey pass aud exit R.l. SARAH rises and imitates their roufiue as sfre exits R.l. doillg bumps. SKY rises a11d places hand to his head iu amazemeut, quite shocked at her. Thelllte does the same movement as lze exits R.l.- Unit is pulled offstage R.l.

Tire stage lights behind #3 Tree traveller dim in revealiug dauciug jlari11g in tl1e Havana Dive- #3 traveller opens to Stage L.)

LIGHT CUE

(CUBAN GIRL aud TWO CUBAN MEN enter from R.J followed by SARAH pulling SKY Oil by tile ha11d. She is in a very gay mood)

SARAH

(Shouting as she enters)

LIGHT CUE

Two Dulce de Leche.

(A WAITER places a table extreme L. SARAllhallds l1er cape to WAITER who places it behiud chair L. of table where Sarah sits. SKY sits at R. of table. WAITER brings two drillks in cocomwt shells which he places in frout of tlzem- nl~o a wiue bottle ill a Wille basket. This bottle is a l1reakmvay bottle used by SARAH iu ftglrt at emf of scelle.)

Guys & DOLLS

---:=; : OLO FEMALE DANCER begins to make up to Sky much to SARAH's annoy-3...-\RAH in retaliation dances with one of the Cuban men. SKY fotces SARAH to

~-~- Finally the solo dancer seizes SKY and makes him dance witl1 her. SARAH - : :..ban by the hand and forces him to dance with her. SARAH becomes jealous, - =uban and grabs Sky, -

: --:: CUE

·;g him away from Dancer. DANCER strikes back - a free for all develops. A gets up on chair R. of Table L. and is about to throw a stool at Sky. SARAH sees

-:::~:: up on table, picks up wine bottle and breaks it over the head of the Cuban, ; it to bits. SKY grabs SARAH over his shoulder rescuing her, and daslJes out

- -·=.= fight continues to become a brawl - Hanging blind breaks away- Stage - .::... i.; O!tf)

- :-r.weller closes as a drop to stageR. #4 traveller closes. Stars on #4 traveller :- :md Blue 1st Border dims in to mark.

ACT I, Scen e ix: Havana exterior

- :2rs from R.l. He is carrying SARAH in his arms and she is still struggling. · --~her down and it is apparent that she is a little tipsy.

SKY ~~ slugger. It's over and you're still champ.

~ ::::sses him. She staggers after kiss)

_ L right?

SARAH

---?'> - ::ght!

- .: i IVe re a Bell

SARAH

~--: m rhythm)

ASK ME HOW DO r FEEL

~.:round him, sings)

ASK ME NOW

-~ •o R) ::...-.::. l \..

- 67 -

- 68 - GUYS & DOLLS . . - -.. -·------------------------------------

II

(SARAH)

Tl IAT WE'RE COSY A D CLJ 'GI'\G

WELL, SIR, ALL I CAN SAY IS,

IF I WERE A BELL I'D BE RI GING

(Pace fro II t R. of Sky)

FROM THE MOMENT WE KISSED TONIGHT

TI !AT'S THE WAY I'VE JUST GOT TO BEHAVE

BOY, IF I WERE A LAMP I'D LIGl IT

A D IF I WERE ABA ' NER I'D WAVE.

(Places her !tend Olt !tis sltouldet~ crosses to L.)

ASK ME HOW DO I FEEL

LITTLE ME WITH MY QUIET UPBRING ING

WELL, SlR, ALL l CAN SAY JS

IF I WERE A GATE I'D BE SWI1 GI'\JG

(HE calcite:, Tier as SHE leans to front)

A '\0 If l WERE A WATCH

I'D START POPPJXG MY SPRI:-\G

OR If I WERE A BELL I'D GO

(Swi11gs !tis anus over !tis !tend)

Dl 'G, DONG, DIXG DO 'G 01 G.

A5K ME HOW DO I FEEL

(Cros~es to /tis R. puts !tend on !tis shoulder)

FROM THIS CHEMISTRY LESSON I'M LEAR, I rc

SKY Chemistry?

SARAH

Yes, chemistry.

WELL, SIR, ALL I CAN SAY IS,

IF I \VERE A BRIDGE,

I'D BE BUR.\!1'\IG

YES,

(Site backs !tim up to L.)

I K EW MY MORALE WOULD CRACK

(Cro<;c.cs, backs lzim up to L 4 steps)

fROM THE WONDERFUL WAY Til AT YOU LOOKED,

BOY IF I WERE A DUCK I'D Ql.JACK

GUY S & DOLL S

OR IF I WERE A GOOSE I'D BE COOKED

= re fnlls on his chest)

ASK ME HOW DO I FEEL

-:..;E straightens 7Je1' up)

ASK ME NOW THAT WE'RE FONDLY CARESSING

- IF I WERE A SALAD

r KNOW I'D BE SPLASHING MY DRESSING

:5 /rand down his face)

ASK ME HOW TO DESCRIBE

THIS WHOLE BEAUTIFUL THING

WELL, IF I WERE A BELL

_ -~e:: to his L.)

I' D GO DING, DONG, Dl G DONG DING .

.... -.:11ls i/lto his arms at e11d of number)

SARAH - ~ is so wonderful. Why don't we stay here for a few days so we can see how _-:ul it's really like.

SKY

·: 1 moment)

·e' d better hurry if we want to catch the plane back to New York.

SARAH ·:.. "•If to go back to New York.

SKY ; you back!

SARAH r gentleman.

SKY - doll like you shouldn't be mixed up with a guy like me. It's no good. I'm no

... _-a puts nrms around him: HE pushes her away)

· why I took you to Havana? I made a bet! That's how you met me in the ~e I made a bet.

SARAH ;;;e would a girl get to meet a gambler?

- 69 -

--- ....... ·· ... _ ·---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 70 - GUYS & DO LLS

II

SKY

(He picks up SARAH in his arms and carries her to stage L. SHE stmggles)

Come on!

SARAH No, no!

SKY r got to think what's best for you.

SARAH Oh, you talk just like a Missiona1y.

#16- CIJange of Sce11c

BLACKOUT

T!Jey exit L. as the liglrts BLACK OUT.

Sound of ait·plane is heard through the loud speakers and simul talleously a sign "FASTEN SEAT BELTS" lights up on #4 traveller. After a short interval the airplane fades out as does the sig11. #4 traveller opens revealing Missiou Exterior.

ACT I, Scene x: Mission exterior

It is four a.m. tl1e following moming. SARAH e11ters L.l, site is minus !Jer uniform coat and ltnt. She is h1 a very pensive mood. SKY follows 011 almost behind her also in a very thoughtful mood. He is lwtless.

SARAH

(Stopping stage C.)

Thank you for bringing me back. I must have behaved very badly.

SKY

(At her side)

No, you were fine.

(ADELAIDE enters jro111 stageR. She is draped with assorted kit·chen utensils given her at a shower. She is followed by FOUR GIRLS. Tlzey are carrying utensils given to Adelaide alld llllmming "The Wedding Mnrc!J")

ADELAIDE

(Stopping with GIRLS stageR.)

Oh, golly, I don't know how I'll get home with all this stuff. It was wonderful of you to give it to roe.

GUYS & D OLLS

~:.1rts L., sees SKY, stops. GIRLS cross Ia stage L. then stop when ADELAIDE ;; 5~·y)

SKY ;::e vou, Miss Adelaide?

ADELAIDE Sky. Look! The girls just gave me a kitchen shower.

:::; - ..:\ K enters from stage L.l)

e.-t to an all night drug store and surprised me with a kitchen shower! Look!

-·-:-e~ uteusils in the air- THE DRUNK notices the bright11ess of the utensils)

DRUNK ~ar jewelry .

• i.3 R.1)

SKY ..,derful, Adelaide - You know Miss Sarah.

~1c ad lib greetings)

SARAH

ADELAIDE - ... ~t you- You know, Sky, we're eloping tomonow night right after the Hot

- ..a.:"\an and I.

;J Sky­

:e• to girls)

SKY

ADELAIDE

-=: 'USt like a housewife, already. I'm going to love being in the kitchen - I've - ft-e other rooms.

--~~IDE exits stage L.1followed by GIRLS)

SKY

... tlf/ L.)

=-~a1de certainly seems happy.

SARAH

- "'e.

- 71 -

I

- 12 - GUYS & D OLLS

#17- My Ti111e of Day

SKY

(Tums to Sarah)

Yeah. I guess so.

SARAH What time is it?

SKY I don't know. Four o'clock.

SARAH This is your time of day, isn't it? I've never been up this late before.

SKY How do you like it?

SARAH It's so peaceful, and wonderful.

SKY You're finding out something I've known for quite a while.

SKY MY TIME OF DAY IS THE DARK TIME

(At lwr L. side)

A COUPLE OF DEALS BEFORE DAWN

WHEN THE STREET BELONGS TO THE COP

A D THE JA ITOR WITH THE MOP

AND THE GROCERY CLERKS ARE ALL GONE

(Moves D.C. stage willt SARAH. Tenderly)

(Proudly)

WHE THE SMELL OF THE RAil -WASHED PAVEMENT

COMES UP CLEA Al'\lD FRESH A, D COLD

AND THE STREET LAMP LIGHT

FILLS THE GU1TER WITH GOLD

THAT'S MY TTME OF DAY.

(SKY front- SARAH turns to Sky}

MYTIMEOF DAY

AND YOU'RE THE ONLY DOLL

I'VE EVER WANTED TO SHARE lT WITH ME.

GUYS & DOLLS

~ :z::e~ to R. pass Iter)

~-~ UNDERSCORING

SKY

SARAH "" What's that?

SKY - ~[asterson. That's my real name. You're the first person I've ever told it to.

-~=-r goes into SKY'S arms nnd they embrace)

- ;:~ Never Been /11 Love Before

SKY

~ on fu!l· waist)

I'VE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE BEFORE

·ow ALL AT ONCE IT'S YOU

-·of her)

IT'S YOU FOREVER MORE

I' VE lEVER BEEN IN LOVE BEFORE

1 THOUGHT MY HEART WAS SAFE

I TliOUGHT T KNEW THE SCORE

BUT THIS IS WINE THAT'S ALL TOO STRANGE AND STRONG

I'M FULL O F FOOLISH SONG

- rer hands)

A D OUT MY SONG MUST POUR

SO PLEASE FORGIVE THIS HELPLESS HAZE I'M 1

I'VE REALLY NEVER BEE. IN LOVE BEFORE.

S ARAH

I'VE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE BEFORE

l\OW ALL AT ONCE IT'S YOU

ITS YOU FOREVER MORE

• v5ses to L. face front)

I'VE 1EVER BEE! IN LOVE BEFORE

1 THOUGHT MY HEART W/\S SAFE

1 Tl !OUGHT I K EW THE SCORE

BUT THIS IS WINE THAT'S ALL TOO STRANGE AND STRONG

- 7 3 -

I

- 7 4 - GU)' S & D OLLS

(SARAH)

I'M FULL OF FOOLISH SONG

AND OUT MY SO G MUST POUR.

BOT H

(HE takes her hand and SHE hans to him)

SO PLEASE FORGIVE THIS HELPLESS HAZE I'M lN

I'VE REALLY NEVER BEEN IN LOVE BEfORE.

(THEY kiss. At e11d of number, ARVIDE enters R.1 carrying his drum -lte is followed by tl1e MISSION BAND. They are obviously very tired from being out all night trying to convert sinners. SARAH sees Arvide as he enters, she goes to him as l1e is setting his drum dow11 beside the Missio11 door)

SARAH Grandfather! I thought you'd be asleep.

Hello, Sarah dear.

(To Sky)

Good morning, Brother Masterson.

Good morning.

ARVIDE

SKY

ARVIDE We followed yom suggestion and stayed out aJl night.

(To Samll)

We spoke to a lot of sinners-Where have you been, Sarah?

SARAH I've been to Cuba.

ARVIDE You're even more tired than I am.

#18- Tile [~aid

(Offstage R.1 can be heard tile clang of a police patrol wagon bell. A GUY dashes on from R.J at top speed. He mns across to the Mission entrance, sticks his head in the door and lets go witl1 a loud piercing whistle, finger-in-mouth type, as the MISSION­ARIES and SKY react with surprise)

SKY What the hell is this?

GUYS & DO LLS

~ ::o door. BENNY: NICELY and NATHAN come hurrying out of the door .:: ....., their coats at the same time. They start off R. The lookout whistles at them -::..~;s fo r tl1em to go the other way. As they stop and tum, followed by HARRY­

~-:::)RSE, the other CRAP SHOOTERS emerge, some with coats off, others fust ~;:".<?In on.

=---: off and collide with GUYS coming back, but thetj ALL exit L.l . As -...:;_-_y goes by, SKY grabs him, but NATHAN doesn't stop- he exits L.l)

SKY =..:.: is this?

NATHAN

.... ~~off followed by some of the GUYS. BIG JULE enters)

BIG JULIE

: : .J NATHAN as he is running off L.l)

==:J.te! I'm losing ten G's .

...,..,....5 off L.l . The sound of the pat1·ol bell has reached close up presence. As the bell - ~:ging, BRANNIGAN and TWO COPS rush on from R.l. BRANNIGAN =- .... "Tf and realizes thetj have escaped him)

BRANNIGAN

::ro cops)

~:e=!:::€- ::mst have tipped them off .

..:: ~ VO COPS rush off L.l. BRANNIGAN crosses to L.C. and stops - turns to

...:: of strange things in my time but this is the first time I ever see a floating .• ;e going full blast in a MISSION.

---:s off stage L.l)

SARAH

.=-d)

:::::=.e!

SKY ou know I had nothing to do with this, don't you?

_-:._ .!_H walks slowly toward the Mission en trance)

-·=.:tops)

- 75 -

- 76 - GUYS & DOLl!>

SARAH

(Turns away)

This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't­

(Sl!e tums to him)

-I never should have gone with you. It was wrong.

SKY o, it wasn't. You went to help the Mission.

(Dully)

Did 1?

(Looks at her a IIJOI/te/1 t)

Will I see you tomorrow?

Everyone is welcome at the Mission.

That's not what J mean.

SARAH

SKY

SARAH

SKY

SARAH It's no good, Sky. You said it yourself- it's no good.

SKY Why not? What the hc11 kind of doU are you, an}"-vay?

SARAH I'm a Mission doll.

#"/9 - Curtail/ Music

(SARAH goes iuto the Mission as the GROUP follows lwr)

HOUSE CURfAIN

GUYS & DOL LS

= - E•tr' acte

ACT II, Scene i: The Hot Box nightclub

:-::lights dim up- the place is well crowded with patrons sipping cocktails- tl1e :_ ~ at stage C. standing in front of a microphone.

_ ~: Tl1is is all seen behind the #1 translucent snow curtain.

M .C.

- --.,. for the feature number of the evening. The Hot Box proudly presents Miss .:: and her Debutantes.

- "-::l'f Box Fanfare

-~trikes up- #1 shaw traveller opens as the balcony spots and front arc spots dim _C. exits L.2 taking microphone with him. FOUR DANCING GIRLS enter from

- ·::-wed by ADELAIDE. FOUR DANCING GIRLS enterjron1 L.2. TI1ey all carry ::~:d cigarette holders with cigarettes and are wearing golden gowns, slwes, hats,

:=:::klnces and mink stoles.

- :-.,1~ Back Your Mink

ADELAIDE

HE BOUGHT ME THE FUR THING,

FIVE WINTERS AGO

AND THE GOWN THE FOLLOWING FALL

THEN THE NECKLACE,

THE BAG,

THE GLOVES

A DTHE HAT,

THAT WAS LATE FORTY-EIGHT

I RECALL

- ·:iy indignant)

THEN LAST NIGHT IN HIS APARTMENT

HE TRIED TO REMOVE THEM ALL!

,=--::~to R and continues resentfully)

AND I SAID AS I RAN DOvVN THE HALL:

- 77 -

- 7 8 - G UYS & DO LLS

(ADELAIDE)

(Crosses back to C., 11ow with hurt jeeli11gs)

TAKE BACK YOUR MINK

TAKE BACK YOUR PEARLS

WHAT MADE YOU THINK

THAT I WAS ONE OF THOSE GIRLS?

TAKE BACK THE GOWN,

(Crosses to L.)

THE SHOES A D THE HAT

I MAY BE DOWN

BUT l'M NOT FLAT

(Crosses to C.)

J\S ALL THAT.

I THOUGHT THAT EACH EXPENSIVE GIFT YOU'D ARRANGE

WAS A TOKEN OF YOUR ESTEEM

NOW WHEN I THINK OF WHAT YOU WANT I EXCHANGE

IT ALL SEEMS A HORRIBLE DREAM

SO-TAKE BACK YOUR MINK

(Crosses 2 steps L)

TO FROM WHENCE IT CAME

(Crosses back to C.)

(mzgrily)

AND TELL THEM TO

HOLLANDERlZE IT

FOR SOME OTHER DAME.

ADELAIDE & GIRLS

TAKE BACK YOUR MlNK

mzrow cigarette holders in music pit. Take off mink)

TAKE BACK YOUR PEARLS

(Take off pearls)

WHAT MADE YOU THINK

THAT I WAS 0 ' E OF THOSE GIRLS

(raucously)

l'MSCREAMING

TAKE BACK THE GOWN

GUYS & DOLLS

~ off gowns)

TAKE BACK THE HAT

:off hats and throw them upstage)

lMAYBEDOWN

BUT I'M N OT FLAT AS ALL THAT.

£THOUGHT THAT EACH EXPENSIVE GIFT YOU'D ARRANGE

WAS A TOKEN OF YOUR ESTEEM

BUT WHE I THINK OF WHAT YOU WANT IN EXCHANGE

IT ALLSEEMSAHORRIBLE DREAM-(EEK!)

TAKE BACK YOUR MINK

THOSE OLD WORN OUT PELTS

A ' D GO SHORTEt THE SLEEVES

FOR SOMEBODY ELSE.

:-=.:..AIDE and DANCING GIRLS go into tlzeir dnnce. At end of dance ADELAIDE :OUR GfRLS exit L.1. FOUR GIRLS exit L.2 tllen they immediately re-enter,

·ig downstage and gntlzer up i11 tJzeir arms all fJ1e clothes tlrnt had been discarded - ~ the dance)

ADELAIDE & ALL GIRLS

... ;::d to the audience)

WELL?

WOULDN'T YOU?

- 79 -

- :=LAJDE and FOUR GIRLS exit L.I. FOUR GIRLS exit L.2. After the number the ·:: .:ome dowll nnd a single table is spotted. SKY enters from R.I, no hat, looks

:i like a man on the loose. He is unshaven agnil!, and n bit crumpled. He drifts ._, tlze empttj table D.R. and sits dow11. A WAITER comes over from R.2 to Sky)

WAITER J be with Mr. Detroit's party, sir?

SKY -ere?

WAITER ~ - :\l!r. Detroit has not been here all evening.

SKY _ me a rye and soda.

-~ L. of table. WAITER exit up R.2. NICELY e11 ters from D.R. a bit furtively. Sits at ... ill R. chair)

- 8 0 - G U\'5 & D OLL:.

NICELY

(Picks up a stalk of celen; n11d starts eati11g it)

Sky, did you sec Miss Adelaide?

SKY

lluh?

NICELY

I bring a message for her from Nathan. I wish Nathan would bring his own messages.

SKY

What's the message? Where is Nathan?

NICELY

It's this way.

(lle collcelltrnles l111l stil/11ibbles ce/en;)

Nathan's aunt in Pittsburgh was suddenly taken ill with-er­

SKY

(Wn;ly)

A rare tropical disease.

NICELY

Yeah, that's not bad.

(WAITER e11lers from R.2 wit/1 lligllbnll 011 a tray, places it ill frollt of Sky tlum exits 1..2)

NICELY (CONT'D)

Anyway, Nathan has to -

SKY

Nicely, what is the message? Where is Na than?

NICELY

(Looks nr01111d to see if lie's overheard tlle11/enns over townrtl Sky)

The crap game is still going on.

(Casually)

Since last night.

SKY

N ICELY

Big Jule being a large loser, does not wish the game to terminate. In fact, he is most insistent. So we find another place and the game goes on.

GUYS & DOLL S

---ere is the game?

-e :·ou looking for some action?

__:cHT CUE

SKY

NICELY

SKY

~ m leaving town tonight, but I do want to talk to some of the guys. You see, .:-e:~, I gave a marker to - well, somebody-and I'd kinda like to clean it up

- .::-e -

::~:;tops as ADELAIDE approaches from L2. NICELY is 011 his feet quickly)

NICELY

--_meet you outside.

SKY

-...::about athan's message?

NICELY

:--:.·:ting it over with quickly- SKY rises)

•s Adelaide, Nathan is in Pittsburgh with a rare tropical aunt. Goodbye.

_~_,sizes out R.1)

ADELAIDE

:··osses toR. looking after Nicely)

- 81 -

--:.ar? I don't understand. Sky, Nathan has to come here tonight. We're eloping to get -~-:-!ed. Is it the crap game again?

SKY

.: :mow Nathan. Why does it surprise you?

ADELAIDE

:;~s R. of table)

._: ::,e promised to change.

SKY

.::-~ge, change. Why is it the minute you dolls get a guy that you like, you take him - ~-: in for alterations?

ADELAIDE

:..at about you 1nen? Why can' t you marry people like other people do and live ,.. ::nal like people? Have a home, with-wallpaper, and book ends.

- 82 - G UYS & D OLlS

SKY

(Sadly)

No, Miss Adelaide.

ADELAIDE

What do you mean-no?

SKY Guys like Nathan Detroit, and-yeah, Sky Masterson-we don't belong in a life like that. So when dolls get mixed up with guys like us, it's no good.

(He gets to his feet, places one dollar on table to pay for I! is drink)

No good -Sec you in a couple months.

(Crosses to R.)

ADELAIDE

Where you going?

SKY I don't know-Las Vegas, maybe. I got a ticket on the late plane.

ADELAIDE

Will you see Nathan before you go?

SKY Maybe.

ADELAIDE

Tell him I never want to talk to him again and have him call me here.

(Sneezes a11d sniffles)

SKY Look! Why don't you get another guy?

ADELAID E

I can't. I Jove Nathan. Wait till you fall for somebody! You'll find out.

(Looks at her a second)

Yeah.

(Exits R.l)

LIGHT CUI:

SKY

GUYS & DOLl 5

=~2- Adelaide'::; Sccottd Lament

ADELAIDE

(Sniffles and then sings: sitting)

IN OTHER WORDS-JUST FROM SITTI G ALONE

AT A TABLE RESERVED FOR TWO

A PERSO CAN DEVELOP THE FLU

YOU CA . BUNDLE HER UP 11\. HER WOOLIES

AND I MEAN THE WARMEST BRAND

YOU CAN WRAP HER IN SWEATERS AND COATS

'TTL IT'S MORE THAN llER FRAME CAN STAND

IF SHE STILL GETS THE FEELL'\G SHI:'S NAKED

FROM LOOI<.Il':G AT HER LEIT HAND

A PERSON CAN DEVELOP THE FLU. HUH! THE FLU!

A HUNDHED AND THREE POINT TWO

SO MUCH VIRUS INSIDE

THAT HER MICROSCOPE SLIDE

LOOKS LIKE A DAY AT THE ZOO

JUST FROM WANTING HER MEM'RIES IN WRITING

AND A STORY HER FOLKS CAN BE TOLD

A PERSON CAN DEVELOP A COLD.

::,he sneezes)

5i..'\CKOUT

= ~ ::. ~ - C lr a 11 ~ c of S c c 11 c

=: 410w traveller wipes in. Street Gauze drop is let in. #4 traveller closes backing up • ... gauze drop. # Stage lights dim in. #1 show traveller opens to-

ACT II, Scen e ii: Street exterior

• !.m1role Rail is at stage R.C. Edison blinker wagon wit/1 liglt f blinking at stage L.C. A .\' is nt L. of wagon- SARAH sits 011 t!tis box wlten ARVID£ sings to her.

' · RAH enters from R.l at a brisk pace- ARVfDE is following Iter, carnjing !tis bass 1111 and having quite a time keeping up with Sara!t.

ARVIDE • ... o fast, Sarah, not so fast.

- 83 -

- 84 - GU YS & D OLlS

(ARVID E)

(Puts drum down- SARAH slops Stage C.)

Look, suppose we don't have a big meeting tonight-suppose nobody is there at all. We'll explain to the General.

SARAH

We won'l have to explain-it'll be very clear.

(Crosses to L.)

I just want to get away from this whole place. To go someplace where-whcrc­

ARVIDE

Where the sinners arc all respectable and well behaved?

SARAH

You saw what happened last night. They gambled- in our Mission.

ARVIDE

And some day they'll be praying there. Even a man like Sky Masterson. I Ie came seeking refuge.

SARAH

He came seeking me. Did you know that?

ARVIDE

Arc you kidding? I knew that the minute he started picking on you.

(He picks up llis bass drum and goes toward Sarah)

But I didn't know you were going to get stuck on him.

(Crosses to front of blinker wagon)

I'll get over it.

(Crosses to L., passes Saralr)

SARAH

ARVIDE

What do you want to get over it for? It isn't pneumonia.

The man I love will not be a gambler.

(Putting dmm down up L.)

But if you love him enough-

l le will not be a gambler.

SARAH

ARVIDE

SARAH

l Cu\5 & DOLLS

ARVIDE

.\!USIC CUE

~.a.rah, dear.

5.-\RAI I sits 011 box L. of Blinker wagon)

t: ah\ays taken care of you. All I want is for you to be happy.

:.:3 -More I Ca1111ot Wish You

ARVIDE

VELVET I CAN WIS£ J YOU

_eft lumd 0 11 I)

FOR TJ IE COLLAR OF YOUR COAT

A 0 FORTUNE SMILING ALL ALONG YOUR WAY

:....~-·.ms toward her; puts arm aro1111d her)

BUT MORE l CA ' l\:OT WISH YOU

THA:-.J TO WISH YOU fiNO YOUR LOVE

YOUR OW TRUE LOVE, THIS DAY

MAt SIONS I CA WISH YOU SEVEN

:;:, mds like a Jootmall)

fOOTMEN ALL It RED

A1 D CALLING CARDS UPOi'\ A SILVER TRAY

H ·Ids hands as tray)

BUT MORE I CAN 0 r WISH YOU

3.··uds rlowu, places arm arou11d Iter)

Tl IAN TO W ISH YOU flND YOUR LOVE

YOUR O WN TRUE LOVE, THIS DAY

STANDING THERE

GAZING AT YOU

FULL OF THE BLOOM OF YOUTH

STA. Dlt'\G THERE

:q•mts dow11, hands 011 k11ee)

GAZI 1G AT YOU

WITH THE SHEEP'S EYE

A 0 TilE LICKERISH TOOTH

- 85 -

- 86 - GU YS & D OLLS

(ARVID E)

MUSIC l CAN WISH YOU

MERRY MUSIC WHILE YOU'RE YOU G

AND WISDOM WHE r YOUR HAIR HAS TURNED TO GRAY

BUT MORE I CA lOT WISH YOU

(Puts lumd onl1er shoulders)

THAN TO WISH YOU FIND YOUR LOVE

YOUR OWN TRUE LOVE, THIS DAY

WITH THE SHEEP'S EYE

AND THE LICKERISH TOOTH

(He squats and pokes lzer rib with elbow)

AND THE STRONG ARMS TO CARRY YOU AWAY

(Kisses SARAH on cheek. SKY enters with NICELY L.1. NiCELY crosses to numhole rail, leans on it. SKY stops L. SARAH rises)

SKY Good evening, Miss Sarah. Well, Brother Abernathy, how goes it with the soul­saving? Tonight's lhe big meeting, isn't it?

ARVIDE

It's supposed to be. The General is coming, and she's expecting-uh-

SKY The General's a tough doll, eh?

ARVIDE Well, very few people will be there-in fact, nobody. And, uh-

SARAH

(Crosses to L., passes Sky)

I don't think Mr. Masterson is interested in our troubles, Gra~1dfather. We've got to hurry.

(ARVID£ picks up drum)

Miss Sarah.

(SHE stops)

SKY

You've forgotten something, but being a gambler, I never forget things like this. You hold my marker for twelve sinners tonight.

SARAH

Thank you, Mr. Masterson, but I'd rather you forgot about it.

GUYS & D OLLS

SKY

I cannot welch a marker.

SARAH

Mr. Masterson, last night the Mission was filled with your friends. Let us say we're even.

(She exits L.1. ARVID£, passing SKY 011 the way out, whispers out of tlte corner ofltis 11/0IIfh:)

ARVIDE

If you don't pay off on that marker I'll tell the whole town you're a dirty welcher.

(He exits L.I)

SKY

(Crosses fo Nicely)

Nicely! Wherc's the crap game?

NICELY

Well, Sky, it's about ten minutes' walk from here.

SKY

Which way?

NICELY

This way.

(He starts down the manhole)

BLACKOUT

1 i 2 4 - C lw 11 x c vf S cc 11 c

- 8 7 -

# Show traveller wipes in. #4 traveller ope11s. Gauze drop goes out. Stage ligllts dim up. #1 show traveller opens to-

ACT II, Scene iii: Crap game in the sewer

LIGHT CUE

The stage lights dim up behind #1 trans. show traveller reveali11g the Crap Game Da11ce. #1 Trav. opens- Balcony spots dim on.

[ :!4a- Tile Crap~lwotcr's Da11cc

Tl1ere is a crap shooter sitting on pipe up R. HARRY THE HORSE and a crap shooter nre standing 011 the plntfonn R.C. upstage.

- 88 - GUYS & DOLL S

Two crnp shooters are lra11ging on ladder upstage C. wntchi11g the dance.

BENN)~ ANGlE THE OX, BIG JULE, SOCIETY MAX n11d one of11er crnp shooter nre stn11ding on platform up L.C.

NATHAN DETROIT is standing in front of platform L.C.

When tl1e dance is finished all the CRAP SHOOTERS move dow11stage, putting t11eir coats 011 and some are puttiug ties on. Tl1ey nil wear red camations. Most of tl1em are getti11g ready to leave tile game.

BIG JULE

Wait a minute. Where you all going. I came here to shoot crap.

PLAYER

We had enough.

(Ad fibs fro/11 tl1e crowd)

ANOTHER PLAYER

Let's go home.

NATHAN

You see, Big Jule, the boys are slightly fatigued from weariness, having been shooting crap for quite a while now, namely twenty four hours.

(Ad fibs from crowd)

BIG JULE

L do not care who is tired. I am out twenty-five G's so nobody leaves.

(He moves to Nathan and pats his shoulder revolver threatellillgly)

NATHAN

Gentlemen, 1 begin to see the logic of Big Jule. It is not that Big Jule is a bad loser; it is merely that he prefers to win. Right, Big }ule?

BIG JULE

Give me the dice. I'm shooting five hundred.

BENNY

Take two hundred.

(The PLAYERS are a little slow in getting their mo11ey up and they nil groan)

PLAYER

I'm half dead.

HARRY

If you do not shut up, Big Jule will arrange the other half.

(PLAYERS put their money up quickly)

GUlS & D OLLS

(J\s he rolls)

Hah!

BIG JULE

NATHAN

And it's a one and a one. Snake eyes. You lose.

(Ad lib. Reaches for lzis take)

And fifty dollars for the house.

(Crosses to table)

But the dice are still yours, and your luck is bound to-

BIG JULE

Shut up! Another five.

BENNY

Two hundred more.

(The GUYS cover lzim again, but ven; reluctmJtly)

And here comes that big lucky roll.

(J\s he throws)

Haaah!

And it's-snake eyes again.

(TilEY all grab tl1eir money)

Tough luck, Big Jule.

Well, that cleans me.

NATHAN

BIG JULE

NATHAN

BENNY

BIG JULE

(Ad lib and ge11eral relnxi11g, eve11 expressio11s of pleasure)

But 1 ain't through yet.

(General apprellensio11. Ad lib)

I will now play on credit.

(Many groans- ad lib)

NATHAN

You see, Big ]ule, the fellows are pretty tired. Of course me, personally~ l <h-n u~

a daisy.

- 8 9 -

- 9 0 - G UYS & D OLLS

BIG JULE

Then I will play with you.

NATHAN

Me?

BIG JULE

Yeah, you. You been rakin' down out of every pot-you must have by now quite a bundle.

NATHAN

Welt being I assume the risk it is only fair I should assume some dough.

BIG JULE

Deh·oit, I am going to roll you, willy or nilly. If I lose, I will give you my marker.

(Starts writing)

NATHAN

And if I lose?

HARRY

You will give him cash.

NATHAN

Let me hear from Big Jule.

BIG JULE

You will give me cash.

NATHAN

Now J heard it.

(BENNY crosses down L., back of Nathan)

BIG JULE

Here is my marker.

(NATHAN looks at it- then at Big Jule)

Put up your dough. Is anything wrong?

NATHAN

No-no. "l.O.U. one thousand dollars." Signed X!

(Reaching into l1is pocket)

How is it you can write one thousand, but you cannot "Tite your signature?

BIG JULE

I was good in arithmetic, but I stunk in English.

GUYS & DOLlS

NATHAN

(His money now out- puts it dow11)

I !ere! This will put you through Harva rd.

BIG JULE

I'm rolling a thousand. And to change my luck I will usc my own dice.

(J lorrified)

Your own dice!

NATHAN

BIG JULE

I had them made for me especially in Chicago.

NATHAN

Big Jule, you cannot interpolate Chicago dice in a cw York crap game.

BEN NY

That is a breach of etiquette.

HARRY

Show me where it says that in Emily Post.

NATHAN

Not that l wish to seem petty, but could I look at these dice?

(A IL MEN crowd around looki11g at dice. BIG JUL[ lakes tl1em out, gives them to Natlmn)

NATHAN

But these - these dice ain't got no spots on 'em. They're blank.

BIG JULE

r had the spots taken off for luck. But J remember where the spots formerly were

NATHAN

You are going to roll blank dice and call 'em from remembering where the spots formerly was?

(Til ren le11ingly)

Why not?

(Pulls NATHAN up by coat)

BIG JULE

NATHAN

(Wipes perspiration from his forehead)

l sec no reason.

- 92 -

(He rolls)

A five-and a five. My poiJ'It is ten.

Welt I still got a chance.

(Sitaki11g tile dice)

Tensy! Come againsy!

I wish he'd fall down on his endsy.

!leah!

(He rolls)

A ten! I win!

A ten?

(Pointi11g)

A six and a four.

(Looki11g)

G UYS & D OLLS

BIG JULE

NATHAN

BIG JULE

NATHAN

BIG JULE

NATHAN

BIG J U LE

NATHAN

Which is the six and which is the four?

Either way­

(Picks up dice)

BIG JULE

Now I'm shooting two thousand. Get it up!

NATHAN

(Looks at l1is watcl1)

I just remembered. I'm eloping tonight. Adelaide is waiting for me.

(Starts to exit. BIG JULC grabs him and pulls him back)

BIG JULE

Get up the two thousand.

NATHAN

How about letting some of the other chaps in on the fun?

GUYS & DOLL~

(Ad lib- II All 110. ")

BIG JULE After I'm through with you!-T\\ o thousand.

(NATHAN puts it up, reluctalllly. BIG JULE shakes dice, rolls)

Haah! Seven! I win.

(Swallawilrg hard)

What a surprise.

(Picks up dice)

NATHAN

BIG JULE

Detroit, I think I will take it easy U1is time.

NATHAN

What do you mean?

BIG JULE

I am shooting one dollar.

NATHAN

I'll take all of it.

(BIG JULE puts it down)

BIG J ULE

(Rolls)

How do you like that? Snake eyes! I lose.

NATHAN

For this I got to bend down.

BIG JULE Now I will give you a chance. I will roll for you three thousand.

NATHAN

Three G's?

BIG J ULIE

(Picks up dice-ft rm)

I am rolling you for three G's. Put it down there.

(NATHAN COil II IS out tire mo11ey. Puts llis ]rands over Iris eyes as BIG ]ULE starts to roll)

NATHAN

Wouldn't it be more convenient if I put it right into your pocket?

- 93 -

Gd it up!

(Rolling)

.aaah!-Eleven. r win.

"-hat cleans me.

BIG JULE

NATHAN

BIG JULE

To tlze others, picks up dice n11d mo11ey)

·o" 1 will play with you guys.

At/ lib)

NATHAN

\ait a minute! You gotta give me a chance to get even. r will roll you, v.rith my dice.

BIG JULE

A; I right, Detroit, that's fair. What are you gonna use for money?

NATHAN

will give you my marker.

HARRY

,\nd you want Big Jule to put up cash?

BENNY

'\athan done it.

NATHAN

Sure I done it. What kind of a deal is this, anyway?

BENNY

Take it easy, Nathan.

NATHAN

Him with his no-spot dice! Somebody ought to knock the spots off fli111.

(Stn11ds right up to Big ]ule)

HARRY

X a than, don't make Big Jule have to do something to you.

BIG J ULE

,h I am on my vacation.

NATHAN

ad -Shoot me. Put me in cement. At least I would know where I am. Here I ~ .,eck to set up a crap game. I even promise to get married on account of it.

O\\ I \Vind up. Broke in a sewer. Believe me, my tough fr iend from Chicago,

G U YS & D OLLS

there is nothing you could do to me that would not cheer me up.

(NICELY comes down the stairs)

(Motio11ing to someone)

Here they are.

(SKY comes dow11)

Good evening, gentlemen.

(Crosses to Sky)

NICELY

SKY

BIG JULE

Well, fresh blood. You looking fo1· some action?

SKY Not at the moment. I would like to talk to some of you guys.

BIG JULE

We ain't talking. We're shooting crap.

SKY

(Quietly)

I am asking for only one minute.

BIG JULE We are shooting crap.

SKY It has to do with Miss Sarah Brown's Mission.

BIG JULE

Sa)" who is this guy?

HARRY

It's the fellow I was telling you-took the Mission doll to Havana.

BIG JULE

Oh, I get it. Look, fellow, why don't you go back to your praying tomato? You're slowing up the action around here.

SKY

(Smoothly)

If you want action, would you care to make a small wager on a proposition?

BIG JULE What's the proposition?

- 95 -

- Q6 - GU YS & D OLLS

SKY

Am I right-handed or left-handed?

BIG J ULE

How would l know a thing like that?

SKY

I'll give you a clue.

(Socks BIG ]UL£ witl1 a right (ad Jibs) . BIG JULE goes dowu. Staggers to !tis feet, reachi11g groggily for his gu11. SKY gets it first- tosses it to NATHAN wlto calcites it ghtgerly)

Hch!

(Rises- crosses upstage)

(Ha11diug gu11 to BeiiiiY)

Kindly return this to Sears-Roebuck.

(Addressiug the group)

Look, you guys.

(Crosses to Natltmt)

HARRY

NATHAN

SKY

Tonight in Miss Sarah Brm.vn's Mission at 409 West -19th Street they are holding a midnight prayer meeting. I promised I would de!i\·er to tht>m ::-orne sinner.;, and when il comes to sinning most of you guys are high up amon~ the pa:nt cards.

(£VERYONC looks very Ulteontfortable - ad lib)

HARRY

I don't want to waste no evening in a Hallelujah joint.

SKY

[f you won't do it as a favor to me, do it as a fa,·or tO your~h e~ 1 £Uarantee you the air in the Mission smells cleaner than down here -

(Ad libs)

-and maybe it would not hurt you guys to learn :'OI:'Ic~

making a four the hard way.

HARR1

You been reading the Bible too much.

SKY

be::: de, the odds on

So what? Maybe the Bible don't read as lh·ely a~ cl-e S.:-a:~ - ~ ~ ..... 1t 1:- at least

G UYS & D OLLS

twice as accurate.

(THEY only mumble with heads Jumg low- ad lib)

Well, I tried -Sec you around, Nathan.

(Puts lmt down)

NATH AN

(Turns to Sky)

Okay, Sky-About that Havana business, I regret I temporarily do not have the one thousand to pay you.

You don't have to pay me.

(Pulls out a bill)

You won.

SKY

NATHAN

But l thought you took Miss Sarah to Havana.

SKY You thought wrong.

(Giving money to NATHAN l1e starts up the ladder)

NATHAN

- 97 -

Come on, Big Jule, get up. I have now got dough to roll you again. But with my dice!

HARRY

(On l1is feet again)

Nothing doing. With those dice he cannot make a pass to save his soul.

(Stops dead 011 ladder)

What'd you say?

(Belligerently)

SKY

HARRY

I says with them dice he cannot make a pass to save his soul.

SKY

(Crosses to Natlmn's R.- slowly as lie returns to them)

Well, maybe I can make a pass to save his-

(Pointing to o11e, then another)

- 98 - G UY S & DOT. LS

(SKY) And yours! -And yours-and his -

(From the group: "Hull?-What are you talkiug about?" -Ad lib)

I am going to roll the dice. I will bet each of you a thousand dollars against your souls. One thousand cash against a marker for your souls.

(BIG )UI.C rises-ad lib)

If I win, you guys all show up at the Mission tonight.

(There is a buzz ojil1ferest-ad lib)

Is it okay?

(Ad lib)

HARRY

Let me get this . If you lose, we each get a thousand bucks, and if you win we gotta show up nt the Mission doll's cabaret?

SKY

(Tight-lipped)

l( I win you show up at the Save-A-Soul Mission. One meeting.

(Tlliuks a miuute)

Okay by me.

(Taki11g tlw lend)

By me too.

HARRY

BENNY

(TI IE OTI JERS agree, ns tl1ey nil start writi11g markers. BCNNY also writes)

SKY

(As the OTl lCRS lm11d him their markers)

You too, Nathan. A thousand dollars against your soul.

NATHAN

Me? I don't even know if I got one.

SKY You got one some place.

N ATHAN

How do you spell"soul"?

G U l'S & D OLLS

(Spelling)

S- 0-

B ENNY

(NATHAN pushes BENNY. SKY backs upstage)

SKY All r ight, put down your markers.

(THEY do so. SKY covers them nll witll a one tlzousand dollar bill)

Give me the dice.

(Some MEN squat down. He gets tlzem)

And give me room.

(He hesitates, nervously. Tosses the dice in his l!nnd once or twice)

Come on-quit staUin' - roll.

(MEN squatti11g, rise)

A PLAYER

HARRY What's the matter, Sky, turning chicken?

SKY You've seen me roll for a hundred G's. But I've got a Little more than dough riding on this one.

(Walks D.C.)

LIGHT CUE

#25- Luck Be n Lady

(D.C.)

SKY

THEY CALL YOU LADY LUCK

BUT THERE IS ROOM FOR DOUBT

AT TIMES YOU HAVE A VERY UNLADY-LIKE

WAY OF RUN1 lNG OUT

(Takes 2 steps D.C.)

- 99 -

- 100 - G u y s & D 0 I. /, s ~··--------------------------------------------------------------------------

(SKY)

YOU'RE 0::--J THIS DATE WITH ME

rHE PICKINGS HAVE BEEN LUSH

A'JD YET BEFORE THIS EVENir\G IS OVER

YOU MIGHT GIVE ME THE BRUSH

(Crosses 3 steps R.)

(At RC)

YOU MIGHT FORGET YOUR MA1 NERS

YOU MIGHT REFUSE TO STAY

AND SO THE BEST THAT I CAN DO IS PRAY.

LUCK BE A LADY TONIGHT

LUCK HE A LADY TONIGHT.

LUCK, IF YOU'VE EVER BEEN A LADY TO BEGIN WIT! I

LUCK, BE A LADY TONIGHT.

(Crosc;es 2 steps L.)

LUCK, LET A GENTLEMAN SEE

HOW lJCE A DAME YOU CAN BE

I K'\OW THE WAY YOU'VE TREATED OTHER GUYS YOU'VE BEEN WITH,

LlJCK BE A LADY WITH ME!

(Crosses 2 steps L.)

A LADY DOES:-.:'T LEAVE HER ESCORT

IT IS~'T FAIR, IT IS~'T NICE

A LADY DOESN'T WANDER ALL OVER HIE ROOM

AND BLOW ON SOME OTHER GUY'S DICE.

SO LET'S KEEP THE PARTY POLITE

(Tnkes roll of money out of pocket)

NEVER GET OUT OF MY SIGHT

STICK WITH ME, BABY, I'M THE FELLOW YOU CAME IN WITH

Ll.JCK BE A LADY

(TI1raws 111011ey 011 floor)

LUCK BE A LADY

(T/1rows more mouey 011 floor)

LUCK BE A LADY TO:-\IGHT.

(Crosses to R.)

GUl'S & DOLlS - 101 -

(SKY goes to stnge R., motions to BIG JULE to put up his mnrker then motions to crnp shooter upstage R. BIG JULE nnd CRAP SHOOTER move to C. SKY crosses to C., 1110fio11s to CRAP SHOOTER who moves down C. Then SKY motions to crnp shooter L.C. CRAP SHOOTER moves down C. SKY collies lo stnge C.)

ENS EMBLE

LUCK BE A LADY TONIGHT

LUCK BE A LADY TONIGHT

LUCK, IF YOU'VE EVER BEE A LADY TO BEGil\ WITH

LUCK BE A LADY TONIGHT.

SKY

LUCK, LET A GEi\.'TLEMAN SEE

(MEN kneel)

CRAP SHOOTERS

LUCK, LET A GENTLEMAN SEE

SKY

HOW ICE A DAME YOU CAN BE

CRAP SHOOTERS

HOW NICE A DAME YOU CA BE

(CRAP SHOOTER crosses down L.C.)

SKY

f K ·ow THE WAY YOU'VE TREATED

OTllER GUYS YOU'VE BEEN WITI l.

LUCK, BE A LADY WITH ME.

SKY

CRAP SHOOTERS

LUCK BE A LADY,

A LADY,

BE A LADY WITH ME

A LADY WOULDN'T FLIRT WITH STRANGERS

SHE'D HAVE A HEART, SHE'D HAVE A SOUL

SKY

A LADY WOULDN'T MAKE UTILE

SNAKE EYES AT ME WHEN

I'VE BET MY LIFE ON TI-nS

ROLL.

SKY

SO LET'S KEEP THE PARTY POLITE

CRAP SHOOTERS

ROLL 'EM, ROLL 'EM,

ROLL 'EM, SNAKE EYES

(ALL MEN quiet)

ROLL 'EM ROLL 'EM

ROLL'EM

- 1 0 2 - GU YS & D OLLS

CRAP SHOOTERS

SO LET'S KEEP THE PARTY POLITE

SKY t\1 EVER GET Olrr OF MY SIGHT

CRAP SHOOTERS

NEVER GET OUT OF MY STGHT

SKY STICK WITH ME

BABY, I'M THE

PELLOW YOU CAME

IN WITit

LUCK

BEA LADY

LUCK BE A LADY

LUCK

BEA

I.ADY

TONIGIIT .

I !AI

BLACKOUT

#26- Cliaii:\L' of Scene

#2 Street trnz,eller closes. Stage lights dim up-

CRAP SHOOTERS

STICK HERE

BABY,

STICK HERE

BABY

LUCK BEA LADY

LUCK BE A LADY

ROLL WILL YA,

ROLL WILL YA,

WHAT'S rHE \1ATTER?

ROLL T. II: DICE!

COMJ!\.' OU I,

COMIN'OUl,

COMIN' Our,

COMIN' OuT,

RIGHT.

I lA!

ACT II, Scene iv: A street off Broadmly

LlGHTCUE

1WO CRAP SHOOTERS enter from R.l. One is putti11g on JJ:.; t:e T'·=u c.nt L.l. BIG JULC and HARRY THE HORSE enter from R.l. TI1ty , top a: , :a ~ R.

GuYS & D01 LS

BIG JULE

I tell you I don't want to go to no prayer meeting.

HARRY

Big Julc, you give your marker, and if you welch- il will cause me no little embar­rassment. I am sure you do not wish to cause me embarrassment?

(THEY bot/1 walk to stage L. and stop)

BIG JULE

- 103 -

But if it ever gets back to. Chicago that I went to a prayer meeting, no decent person will talk to me.

(THEY exit L.1- THREE CRAP SHOOTERS enter from R.1 and cross to stage L. ADELAIDE enters from L.1 rending a neu1spnper-slle looks around obviously looki11g for Natllnn. Slle stops stage L. NATHAN enters R.1. AD[,LAJDE sees him and drops the newspaper n11d purposely bumps into NATHAN- CRAP SHOOTER picks up newspaper as THEY exit L.1)

Adelaide!

(Lady Windennere)

Oh! What a coincidence!

NATHAN

ADELAIDE

NATHAN

Adelaide, did Nicely explain to you about tonight? J hope you ain't sore about it?

(fries to embrace her- SHE pulls away to C.)

ADELAIDE

Please! Let us not have a vulgar scene. After all, we are civilized people-we do not have to conduct ourselves like a slob.

NATHAN

Adelaide! What is this? You are my doll.

ADELAIDE

Your doll! Please, if that weren't so amusing one could laugh at it.

NATHAN

Sweetheart! Baby! How can you carry on like this over one lousy elopement? Adelaide, please!

ADELAIDE

It's no usc, Nathan. I have succeeded in your not being able to upset me no more. 1 have got you completely out of my-

(Sneezes. Then throws herself into Nathan's arms, weepi11g)

- 104 - Gurs & DOlL S

(ADELAID E)

Oh, Nathan!

NATHAN

Adelaide, baby! Don't ever do that to me again! I can't stand it. We'll get married. We'll have a home, a little white house with a green fence-just like the Whitney colors.

ADELAIDE

(T!Jroug!J !Jer tears)

Nathan, we got to do it soon. I had another letter from my mother today asking a lot of questions. And she put in a letter for you, too.

(Hands it to !tim)

NATHAN

A letter for me? From your mother? WeJI-

(Opcns it and reads)

-"Dear Son Nathan: This is my first letter to you, although you have now been ma1Tied to my daughter for twelve years. But 1 feel like T know you from Adelaide's letters, and in my mind's eye I can see you as you go down to work e\ er~ morning at seven. What a responsibility it must be, to be the assistant manager ot an A. & P."

(He break.; off)

I'm not even the manager?

(Looks at Adelaide)

ADELAIDE

I was going to promote you for Christmas.

NATHAN

(Back to tile lell'er)

- "1 know how hard you have to work to take care of your family - Adelaide and the five children and the one that's on the way."

(Looks a/ Adelaide)

ADELAID E

Mother wanted me to visit her, so I had to tell her tha:

NATHAX

(Rigllteous i11dig11alioll)

Don't she know I can't have six kids on ,,·hat th~y :.a! me_ ....: P.'

(Read5 quickly to l1imself, t!le11 slaws up as lie reu.i: z:

Guys & DOLL S

(NATHAN)

-"I am very proud to have you as a son-in-law. You are a good man and I know you will always take care of Adelaide." I feel like a heel.

ADELAIDE

Look, Nathan darling, we can still make everything all right. Look-it's not even midnight yet. Five minutes to twelve-let's elope right now.

NATHAN

Okay, Adelaide.

(Embrace. BENNY mtd NICELY euter from R.1. NATHAN sees fltem)

No, I can't.

ADELAIDE

Why not?

(BENNY and NICELY are crossiug at this moment)

BENNY

Come on, Nathan-we'll be late.

NICELY

Come on!

(THEY exit L.1)

ADELAIDE

(In measured tones)

Nathan, wl1y can't we elope now?

NATHAN

Because- well, I got to go to a prayer meeting.

ADELAIDE

(This one really /tits Iter)

Nathan. This is the biggest lie you ever told me.

NATHAN

But I promise you it's true.

LIGHT CUE

- 105 -

(ADELAIDE takes letter from Natlum, tears letter up- throws it on floor, crosses D.R. NATHAN kneels, picks up pieces of tom letter)

- 106 - G U YS & D OLLS

#27-SucMc

ADELAIDE

YOU PROMISE ME THIS

YOU PROMISE ME THAT

YOU PROMISE ME A!'\JYTHING UNDER THE SUN

THEN YOU GIVE ME A KISS

AND YOU'RE GRABBIN' YOUR I IAT

AND YOU'RE OFF TO THE RACES AGAIN.

WHEN I THINK OF THE TIME GONE BY

ADELAIDE, ADELAIDE

(Crosses to L. to her)

NATHAN

ADELAIDE

A D I THINK OF THE WAY I TRY

NATHAN

ADELAIDE.

(ADELAIDE crosses to L., pass Nathau)

ADELAIDE

I COULD H01\l£STLY DIE.

CALL A LAWYER AND

SUE ME, SUE ME

NATHAN

WI-TAT CAN YOU DO ME

I LOVE YOU

GIVE A HOLLER AND HATE ME, HATE ~lE

GO AHEAD AND HATE ME

I LOVE YOU.

AD ELAI DE

THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE,

I WAS A FOOL TO GIVE TO YOl..:

NATHA~

ALRIGHT ALREADY I'M JLST A :--.0 GJOu~ 0

ALRIGHT ALREADY, IT'S TRLt. SO '"B\

GUYS & D O LL~

SO SUE ME, SUE ME

WIIAT CAN YOU DO ~IE

I LOVE YOU

(fries to fake her in his arms- SHE backs away to R.)

ADELAIDE

YOU GAMBLE IT HERE,

YOU GAMBLE IT THERE

YOU GAMBLE 0~ EV' RYTHI GALL EXCEPT ME

AND I'M SICK OF YOU KEEPING ME UP IN Ti lE AIR

TILL YOU'RE BACK r~ THE MO 1EY AGAIN

WHEN I THINK OF THE TIME GONE BY

NATHAN

ADELAIDE, ADELAIDE

ADELAIDE

AND I THINK OF THE WAY I TRY

ADELAIDE

(Crosses to Adelaide)

NATHAN

ADELAIDE

£COULD HONESTLY DIE

(Backs away)

NATHAN

SERVE A PAPER AND SUE ME, SUE ME

WHAT CAN YOU DO ME

ILOVEYOU

(SHE sneezes)

GJVE A HOLLER A ID HATE ME, HATE ME

GO AHEAD AND HATE ME

ILOVEYOU

ADELAIDE

(Crosses to L. pass him)

WHE YOU WIND UP I JAIL

DO 1'T COME TO ME TO BAlL YOU OUT.

- 107 -

- 108 - GUYS & D OLLS

NATHAN

ALRIGHT, ALREADY SO CALL A POUCEMAN

ALRIGHT ALREADY IT'S TRUE, SO £\lEW

(SHE goes to him)

SO SUE ME SUE ME

(THEY embrace)

WHAT CAN YOU DO ME

I LOVE YOU.

(BENNY and NICELY enter from L.l. THEY beckon to Nathan -NATHAN waves them away. ADELAIDE turns and sees tlwm. THEY see the anger ilzlu!r eyes and hurriedly exit L.l)

ADELAIDE

(Crosses to R.)

YOU'RE AT IT AGAI ',

YOU'RE RU NING THE GAME

I'M NOT GON . A PLAY SECOND FIDDLE TO Ti l A f

Al\.TO I'M SICK AND I'M TIRED OF STALLING AROU:\D.

AND I'M TELLING YOU NOW THAT WE'RE THROUGH

WHEN l THINK OF THE TIME GONE BY.

(Crosses to her)

ADELAIDE, ADELAIDE

(SHE waves l1i111 away)

NATHAN

ADELAIDE

AND 1 THI TK OF THE WAY I TRY

NATHAN

ADELAIDE!

ADELAIDE

I COULD HONESTLY DIE.

NATHAN

SUE 'v1E, SUE ME,

SHOOT BULLETS THROUGH 'viE

I LOVE YOU.

(SHE c:;dts R.1.- HE exits L.l.)

LIGHTS DIM OUT TO BLACK

GUl' S & DOLLS - 109 -:--- --------- ------------------- ----------··

#2 7a - Cha11gc of Scene

#2 street traveller opens. Stage lights dim up to-

ACT II, Scene v : Interior of M ission

Tlte MISSION GROUP- SARAH, ARVID£, AGATJ IIi and CALVIN- sits expec­trmtly at a long table. A new figure is present- THE GC:NERAL. Site is pacing the room, looking at the group w/10 are momentarily growing more uneasy. 11~ree dmirs and three benches are at stage R.

G ENERAL

It is now several minutes past midnight. Isn't anyone coming?

(THC:Y all sit glumly)

Sergeant Sarah, something is very wrong.

ARVIDE

Maybe your watch is fast.

S ARAH

(Rises, crosses to C. 2 steps)

General, I know what's wrong. 1'111 wrong. I've fai led. l've spoken to these people day after day, but my WOl'ds haven't reached them-1 think you had better-

(MUGS e11ter-SARAH tums to them as THEY enter. ARVID£ rises)

A RVI D E

(Sits)

Welcome, brothers. Welcome.

(A few little grunts Jmm the Boys then- SKY enters)

SKY Everybody here? \.vhere's athan Detroit?

(NATHAN enters)

N ATHAN

Present.

SKY

(Crosses down C.)

Miss Sarah, here you are. One dozen or more assorted sinners. Sorry we didn't have time to clean 'em up.

- 110 -

(Rises)

Won' t you gentlemen sit down?

(fHEY shuffie their feel a little)

Sit down! All of you!

G u y s & D 0 L I. s

ARVIDE

SKY

(fHEY do. SARAH sits in dmir- BIG JULE looks at G£NERAL disgustedly. GENCR.t\L crosses to L. Sits at table)

ARVIDE

[ would like to welcome you gentlemen to the Save-A-Soul Mission.

(A loud Bronx cJwerfrom one of the gang. 1\RVIDE sits)

SKY Just a minute, you guys. This is a Mission, not Roseland, and I suggest that you do not indulge in any unpleasantness. Since I am required to depart for points West to­night-

(SARAH moves)

-I am appointing Nathan Detroit majordomo in my place. Nathan, anybody who docs not conduct himself according to Hoyle will answer to Sk) vlasterson person­ally, and that means in person.

(He gives il1em n finn/ glance, then goes- exits L.3)

GENERAL

(From the silence)

What a remarkable young man!

(SARAH looks at he1~ but says nothing)

NATHAN

(Rises- confronts tlwm, clears his throat and shouts)

So remember that, you guys.

(furns to Arvide)

Brother Abernathy, your dice.

(HE sits)

(Rises)

ARVIDE

Gentlemen, we arc honored tonight. The meeting will 'be conductt?d by the head of our organization, General Cartwright.

Cuv s & Dous - 111 -

---------------------------------------------------------------------------~

(Sits. NATHAN starts tlze applause)

GENERAL

(Rises)

It is wonderful to see our Mission graced by the presence of so many evil-looking sinners.

(NATHAN starts to applaud, lmt realizes lze may be wroug)

ow, who would like to testify? Who would like to start the ball rolling by giving testimony?

(THEY are silent and lw11g tlleir heads)

NATHAN

Benny! Give testimony.

BENNY

I ain't no stool pigeon.

GENERAL

Come, brothers- I know it is difficult. But let one of you give testimony to the sin that is in his heart.

Benny! Tell 'em what a bum you are!

(BENNY rises)

Benny!

(Forced to it)

NATHAN

BENNY

I always was a bad guy, and a gambler, but I ain't going to do it no more. I thank you.

(Sits, quickly)

GENERAL

There! Don' t you feel better now?

BENNY I'm alright.

GENERAL Anyone else?

NATHAN Big]ule.

- 112 - GU YS & DOLL S

BIG JULE

(Rises)

Well, I used to be bad when I was a kid, but ever since then 1 have gone straight as 1 can prove by my record thirty-three arrests and no convictions.

(Sits)

(Pointing)

I larry!

Oh, no!

(Louder tltis fi111e)

Harry the Horse!

(Getti11g reluctnutly to llis feet)

NATHAN

HARRY

NATHAN

HARRY

Ah, well, like when sky was rolling us for our souls­

GENERAL

I beg your pardon?

HARRY

Sky Masterson. He rolled us a thousand dollars against our souls. That's why we're here.

GENERAL

I don't think I understand.

SARAH

I do, General. I 1e means that they are only here because Mr. Masterson won them in a dice game.

GENERAL

How wonderful! This whole meeting the result of gambling! It shows how good can come out of evil.

(Pounds table)

Sergeant Sarah, you have done remarkable work.

ARVIDE

Hasn't she, though?

CUI' S & D OLLS

(A small voice)

Thank you.

SARAH

HARRY

Hey! I ain't finished my testimony. My sins is that when Sky rolled us I wished I would win the thousand dollars instead of having to come here, but now that I'm here I still wish it.

(Sits)

GEN ERAL

Anybody else?

(BRANNIGAN plunges in from L.3 ready for nuytl!iug: he points to NA'TJ JAN. NATHAN raises n wnming fiuger to I! is lips. BRANNIGAN subsides. NATHAN removes Brmwignn's lint and plnces over llis extended fiuger)

(In n 11L'1V voice of piety)

We will now hear testimony from­

(He looks them over)

Brother Nicely-Nicely johnson-

NATHAN

(NlCELY forces n smile- theu NATHAN sweetly says:)

Brother Nicely-r-...icely johnson-

Get up, you fat water buffalo.

(NICELY slowly rises)

BIG J U L E

N ICELY

Well. It happened to me kind of funny. Like a dream. That's it, a d ream.

GENERAL

Tell us, in your own words.

(Site sits. NICELY places his hat on chair. NATHAN poil1ts to clmir up C. which BRANNIGAN ~its iu. NATHAN sits in his clzair.)

LIGHTCU[

- 113 -

- 114 - GU YS & D OLJ.S

#28- Sit Down, You're Rockin' the Boat

NICELY

I DREAMED LAST NIGHT

I GOT Oi\: THE BOAT TO HEAVEr\

A'\D BY SOME CHANCE I HAD BROUGHT MY DICf ALO G

A '\lD THERE I STOOD

A D I IIOLLERED, "SOMEONE FADE ME"

BUr l£IE PASSENGERS, THEY K1 EW RIG! IT FROM WRONG

fOR THE PEOPLE ALL SAID SIT DOWN,

SIT DOWN, YOU'RE ROCKIN' THE BOAT

NICELY & ENSEMBLE

PEOPLE SAID SIT DOv\TN,

SIT DOW I YOU'RE ROCKU I THE BOAT.

NICELY

Ai\D fH£ DEVIL vVILL DRAG YOU UI\'DER

BY THE SHARP LAPEL OF YOUR CHECKERED COAT

Sll DOWN, SIT DO\VX, SIT DOWN, SIT DOW'\,

NICELY & ENSEMBLE

SIT DOW ', YOU'RE ROCKI:--:' THE BOAT

NICELY ENSEMBLE

I SAILED AWAY ON THAT 000

LITfLE BOAT TO I lEAVE 000

AND BY SOME CIIANCE FOUND 000

A BOTTLE IN MY FIST. 000

AND TIIERE J STOOD 000

NICELY PASSIN' OUT THE WH ISKEY,

BUT Tl JE PASSENGERS WERE BOU D 000

TO RESIST 000

N ICELY

FOR THI: PEOPLE ALL SAID BE\\"-\ RE

E~SE~1BLE

PEOPLE ALL SAID BE\\.ARE

~ICED:

YOU' RE Or\ A HEA\'E~~'t ~p

GUY S & DOlL S

ENSEMBLE

BEWARE

NICELY

PEOPLE ALL SAID BEWARE,

ENSEMBLE

PEOPLE ALL SAID BEWARE

NICELY

BEWARE, YOU'LL SCUTILE THE SHTP

NICELY

A1 D THE DEIIL

WILL DRAG YOU

UNDER

BY THE FANCY TIE

'ROUND YOUR WICKED THROAT

SIT DOWN,

NICELY

ALL

SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN,

SIT DOWN, YOU'RE ROCKJN' THE BOAT

DOWN

(THEY all sit dow11)

NICELY

AND AS I LAUGHED

ENSEMBLE

AT THOSE PASSENGERS TO HEAVE!'\.

(Laughs)

A GREAT BIG WAVE CAME

AND WASHED ME OVERBOARD

(Gasp)

AND ASI SANK

AND I HOLLERED, "SOMEONE SAVE ME"

(Solemnly)

THAT'S THE MOMENT I WOKE UP

ENSEMBLE

(Bl) Sl r (lwld)

(B2) DOWN (lwld)

(T) SIT (hold)

(S/ A) DOWN (/wid)

MM

00

00 00

00

00

ENSEMBLE

- 115 -

- 116 - GUYS & D OLLS

(NICELY) (ENS EMBLE)

THANK

THE LORD

(Mission Band rises)

THANK THE LORD

THANK THE LORD.

AND I SAID TO MYSELF, SIT DOWN,

SIT DOWN,

YOU'RE ROCKTN' THE

BOAT

SAID TO MYSELF, SIT DOWN,

SAID TO HIMSELF

SIT DOWN

SIT DOWN

SIT DOWN,

(Mission Bnnd sits)

SAID TO HIMSELF

SIT DOWN

YOU' RE ROCKJN' THE BOAT

AND THE DEVIL WILL DRAG

YOU UNDER

WITH A SOUL SO HEAVY

YOU'D TEVER FLOAT,

SIT DOWN,-

ALL

-SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN,

SJT DOWN, YOU'RE ROCKTN' THE BOAT

(THEY n/1 rise)

SIT DOWN YOU'RE ROCKI '

SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN,

SIT DOWN, YOU'RE ROCKIN' THE BOAT

-SlT DO\'VN, SIT DOWN, SIT DOW! I

SIT DOWN, YOU' RE ROCKIN' THE BOAT

SIT DOWN YOU'RE ROCKIN'

SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN,

SIT DOWN, YOU'RE ROCKIN' THE BOAT

N ICELY

SIT DOWN

EN SEMBLE

SJT DOWN, YOU'RE ROCK! I THE BOAT

A D TI IE DEViL WILL DRAG

YOU UNDER

(THEY nll sit. LIGHT CUE. At end of mtmber NATHAN lllld BRANNiGAN rise)

GUYS & DO LLS

NATHAN Anything we can do for you, Brother Brannigan? Maybe you would care to testify?

BRANN IGAN l'Jl do roy testifying in court, where I will testify that you ran a crap game here in this Mission last night. Miss Sarah, you were standing there when they came out. You saw them. Aren't these the fellows?

(Slowly looks at tl1e111; takes her time)

I never saw them before in my life.

SARAH

BIG JULE There's a right broad!

ARVIDE

(Rises)

Now if you would excuse me, o£6cer, we would like to go on with our meeting.

BRANNIGAN

- 117-

I never saw crap shooters spend so much tin1c in a Mission. Maybe that's what they mean by Holy Rollers.

(He puts his Jzat on and exits L.3. HARRY THE HORSE rises indignantly. NATHAN waves him down as BIG JlTLE pulls Harry down by the sleeve)

N ATHAN Thank you, Miss Sarah-People, I also have a confession to make, and I got to get it off my chest. We did shoot crap here last night and we're all sorry. Ain't we, boys?

(He turns to the mob- THEY mumble assents: ha11gi11g of/Jeads)

BIG JULE [' m really sorry.

N ATHAN

(Tuming to Snrnll)

But 1 did another terrible thing.

(Crosses down C.)

I made a bet with a certain guy that he could not take a certain doll away with him on a trip, and this I should not have done, although it did not do any harm, as I won the bet.

SARAH You won the bet?

- 118 - G UYS & D OLLS

NATHAN

Sure. The guy told me that he didn't take the doll. Well, that makes me feel a lot better.

(Rises)

Hallelujah!

Hallelujah!

GENERAL

NATHAN

(Sits. Tl1e mob all say "Halleiuja/1". Tile GENERAL picks up a handful of soug books a11d passes them out)

GENERAL

Gentlemen, we will now sing No. 244- "Follow the Fold".

#29- Tl1c Guys Follow the Fold

(She stauds i11 frout of them and rnises ller lm11d to co11duct. M11sic begi11s. SARAH quietly picks up cape wlzicll/ms beenlmnging on back of her chair a11d quickly makes m1 exit up L.3. Stage lights dim to black as SARAH exits)

#1 Show trnveller wipes in. Street gmlze drop is let ill. #4 traveller closes, bncki11g up the gauze drop #1. Show traveller opens up as stage lights dim up to-

ACT II, Scene vi: Nigl1t - Street off Broadway

LIGHT CUE

Two ropes togetller bundles of 11ewspaper tabloids on whic/1 two people cm1 sit on stage C. ADELAIDE e11ters, disconsolately from R.l. Drop" o11to 11ewspnper bu11dla R.C.­sneezes. A passi11g MALE enters from stage LJ, stops to look nt her to fl irt, if encour­aged-

(Angrily)

Oh, go away!

#29a- Adelaide Meets Sarn/1

ADELAIDE

(HE hurries of!R.1. ADELAIDE starts to sing softly as SARAH c11ters si11ging softly from stage L.l. Sl1e is wearing a cape - she sits 01111ewspaper bu11dle L.C. 110t noticing Adelaide)

SO PLEASE

FORGIVE

SARAH

THIS HELPLESS HASE

I'M TN

f'VE EVER

REALLY BEE

IN LOVE

BEFORE

G U\' S & DOLL S

ADELAIDE

(Noticing Sarah and not caring Jmtcl!)

Oh, hello.

(Uncertainly)

Good evening.

SARAH

ADELAIDE I'm Adelaide, the well known fiancee.

SARAH

Oh, yes. When are you getting married?

ADELAIDE

The twelfth of never.

SARAH Oh, I'm sorry.

ADELAIDE

- 119 -

ADELAIDE

"KEEP THE VICKS ON YOUR CHEST

AND GET PLENTY OF REST"

YOU CAN WISELY WARN HER

BUT TN SPITE OF THE Q UIET,

MASSAGES AN D DIET,

SHE'S STILL A GONER

ONCE SHE GETS THE IDEA

THAT THE LITTLE CHURCH

WILL ALWAYS BE 'ROUND THE CORN ER

A PERSON

CAN DEVELOP A COLD.

(Looks at Sarah)

1 didn' t even get close enough to a church to be left at it­

(Half to herself)

Gee, what'll I ever tell my mother?

SARAH Oh, your m other will understand . Just tell her your engagement is broken.

- 120 - GUY S & DOll S

LIGIJTCU£

ADELAIDE

(Gives her a look)

I'm afraid that mjght confuse her - Maybe I'll tell her Nathan is dead, and then see to it.

SARAH

You mustn't carry hate in your heart, Miss Adelaide. fry to be forgiving and under­standing, and the pain will go away. In the Bible it tells us in Isaiah-Isaiah-

(The thought is foo much for her)

- Isaiah-

(But size cmmot· go nhcnd)

ADELAIDE

You've got a boy friend named Isaiah, huh?

SARAH

(Through her tears)

Isaiah was an ancient prophet.

ADELAIDE

Don't tell me. Nobody cries like that over an old guy- Whoever it is, you got it bad. You know, when 1 saw you with Sky Masterson the other night-

(SARAH goes into n fresll outburst of tears! ADELAIDE look' at her)

-Oh, no! Tot Sky! You're not in love with Sky?

(No n11swer, which is its ow11 conftnnatiou)

You poor thing!

(SARAH gestures lzelplessly)

#4 Traveller ope11s

SARAH

(Low-voiced)

I thought I hated him.

ADELAIDE

I thought I hated Nathan. 1 still think I hate him. That's lo\·e.

SARAH

Adelaide-can't men like Sky ever change?

Guvs & D oLLS - 1 21 -

ADELAIDE

(Shakes her head)

For fourteen years I've tried to change Nathan. l've always thought how wonderful he would be, if he was different.

SARAH

I've thought about Sky that way, too.

ADELAIDE

I've sat and pictured him by the hour. Nathan-my Nathan-in a little home in the country-happy-

LIGHT CUE

(Lights go 011 behind her R. revealing a NATHAN in overalls mul farmer's hat, sfa11ding beside a trellis of beautiful roses. With a spray gunlte is tenderly treating each bud wil/1 loving care. He picks off a bug; removes his hat to wipe It is brow. Tite ligltts go down again)

LIGHT CUE

(Sighs as picture fades)

Gee, wouldn't it be wonderful!!

Wouldn't it-If only Sky­

LIGHTCUE

ADELAIDE

SARAH

(On the vtlter side SKY now appears L. He appears as in Sarah's imagination. He is

wearing a dainty bib-type kitchen apron, holding wicker lmmdry basket filled with diapers. With clothes-pins in !tis mouth he is hanging diapers 011 line. Tlte vision fades)

But they just can't change.

(#4 Traveller closes)

ADELAIDE

SARAH

A little while ago at our prayer meeting there were a lot of gamblers who acted as though maybe they could change.

ADELAIDE

LIGHT CUE

Yes, but that doesn't mean-gamblers at your prayer meeting-Was Nathan Detroit there?

- 122 - GUYS & DOLlS

SARAH

I'm sure I heard that name.

ADELAIDE

A darling little fellow with a cute moustache?

SARAH

I think so.

A D ELA IDE

(Rises, crosses dow11 C.)

How do you like that rat! Just when he should have been lying he's telling the truth! I'm glad I'm through with ITim.

(Turns to Snrnh)

And you ought to be glad you're through with Sky, too.

(Tlzougl! tfully)

1 am.

SARAH

(JWO GIRLS look nl encll other for n nwmenl)

ADELAIDE

(Crosses to Snrnlz- sits 011 lnmdle of newspapers)

What are we-crazy or something?!

# 3 0 - M n r r y f II e M n 11 To d n y

A D ELA IDE

AT WANAMAKER'S AND SAKS /\ D KLEI 'S

A LESSON T'VE BEEN TAUGHT

YOU CAN'T GET ALTERATIO So, A DRESS YOLJ HAVE. 'T BOUGFTT

SARAH

AT A't\.Y VEG'TABLE MARKET FROM BOR'\.[0 TO '\0\IE

YOU MUSTi\'T SQUEEZE A MELO~

TILL YOU GET THE MELON HOME

ADELAID E

YOU'VE SIMPLY GOT TO GAMBL[

(Looks nf Sarnlz)

SARAH

YOU GET i\0 GUARA0:TEE

G u )' 5 & D 0 L L s

ADELAIDE

NOW DOESN'T THAT KIND OF APPLY TO YOU AND 1?

SARAH

YOU A 1D ME.

ADELAIDE

(Rises)

WHY NOT?

SARAH

(Rises)

WHY NOT WHAT?

ADELAIDE

(Two steps D. front)

MARRY THE MAN TODAY

(SA RI\H moves down alongside of her. Two steps D.S.)

TROUBLE THOUGH HE MAY BE

MUCI T AS HE LOVES TO PLAY

CRAZY A ID WILD AND fREE

SARAH & ADELA I DE

MARRY THE MAN TODAY

(Walks D.S. 1 step. Tim1 to o11e another)

RATHER THAN SIGH AND SORROW

MARRY THE MAN TODAY

A~D CHA.:"!~GE H IS WAYS TO~ORROW

(Crosses 3 steps R.)

SARAH

MARRY THE MA ' TODAY

ADELAIDE

MARRY THE MAN TODAY

(Moving S.R.)

SARAH

MAYBE HE'S LEAVING TOWN

(Pulls ADELAIDE back)

- J .: 3 -

- 124 - G uvs & D oLLS

ADELAIDE

MAYBE HE'S LEAVING TOWN

SARAH

DO)I!' T LET Hl:vt GET A\\IAY

(Motion <; with fist)

ADELAIDE

DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY

SARAH

I iURRY Ai D TRACK HIM DOWN

ADELAIDE

COUNTER ATTACK HIM AND

SARAH & ADELAIDE

'vtARRY T i lE MAN TODAY

(BOTH put ltn11ds out)

GIVE HIM 1 11E GIRLISH LAUGHTER

SARAH

GIVE HlM YOUR HAi'\D TODAY

A ' D SAVE THE FIST FOR AFTER

ADELAIDE

(Crosses to R.)

SLOWLY L TRODUCE Hill TO THE BETTER Till 1GS

RESPECTABLE, CO 1SERVATIVE AI D CLEAN.

SARAH

(Crosses to 1\de/nide)

READERS DIGEST!

ADELAIDE

GUY LOMBARDO!

SARAH

ROGERS PEET !

ADELAIDE

GOLF!

SARAH

GALOSHES!

GUl S & DOLLS

ADELAIDE

OVALTINE!

BOTH

BUT MARRY THE MAl\: fOOAY

(Fist gesture)

HANDLE IT MEEK AND GENTLY

ADELAIDE

(Crosses to Sarah)

MARRY THE MAl"\ TODAY

AND TRAIN HIM SUBSEQUE !TLY

SARAH

CAREFULLY EXPOSE HI'v1 TO DOMESTIC LIFI:

AND IF HE EVER TRIES TO STRAY FROM YOU

HAVE 1\ POT ROAST

HAVE A HEADACHE

(Hand to head)

HAVE A BA BY

HAVE TWO

SIX

N INE

STOP!

ADELAIDE

SARAH

ADELAIDE

SARAH

ADELAIDE

SARAH

BOTH

MARRY THE MAN TODAY

RATHER THA SIGH AND SORROW

MARRY THE MAN TODAY

(Tl lEY slzake hands)

AND CHANGE HIS WAYS

- 125 -

- 1 26 - GU YS & D OLI.S

ADELAIDE

A 'JD CHAJ.'\1GE H1S WAYS

SARAH

AND CHANGE HIS WAYS

ADELAIDE

Ai\D CHANGE HIS WAYS

SARAH

A D CHANGE THE WAYS

BOTH

10MORROW.

(J\DEL/\IDE cxil's R. l . SARl 'lH exits L.l. THE Y po11nd tlteir fists as they exit)

#31- Finale 1\cl 2

DIM TO BLACK

#1 Sl10w traveller wipes iu. #4 traveller opens. #Stage lights dim up to-

ACT II, Scene vii: The Sreet,

same as opening scene of sltow- Broadway

IIGirrcuE

The two BROADWAY CHARACTERS we saw in openiug scene are discovered at Stage C. doiug the same routine as tlze liglzts dim up rmd #1 Show Tm11s. Traveller opens-11tc TWO STREET WALKERS are at tlze newsstn11d and cross over to the TWO BROADWAY CHARACTERS. who tum tlzem dowu aml exil R.1 followed by Lite TWO STREET WALKERS.

ALL TilE MUGS marc/1 0 11 from L.2. They lznve bee11 cleaned IIJI, and encll 0 11e is wearing n big while gardenia. HARRY is in the lead followed l1y NICELY, BENNY. Tiley sta~~d in line.

The PAPER DOLL VENDOR and his ASSISTANT enter from R.1 a111l set up their pitch stage C. Tlle PRIZE FIGHTER and his MANAGER watclz the /Jowzciug doll and the PRIZEFIGHTER motions to 1zis manager to buy oue which he does. 'nze DOLL SALESMAN and /tis ASSISTANT quickly exit L.1. 71ze PRIZEFIGHTER places tile doll stage C. to watc/1 it bounce but it collapses. He picks it up i11 dzsgu,t. All tile mugs cross to stage R.

SIGHTSf.EING CROWD enter from R.2 and stand ztp C. BRA \JNIGAN c11ters from L.l a11d goe~ to 11ewsstand which is strung with Christma~ trc!t ligllf::. and stauds iu frollf of it looking at tile lights.

GUYS & DOLLS - 127 -

ADELAIDE enters from R.2 followed by GIRLS. Slle is dressed in a wedding outfit and carries a bouquet in lzer hands. Slle is venJ nervous and calls off L.-

LIGHT CUE

ADELAIDE

Natnan! Nathan! Where are you? Nathan!

(At newsstand)

Gimme a late paper.

BRANNI G AN

ADELAIDE

Nathan darling, come on, we're waiting for you.

(NATHAN sticks his head out of the 11ewsstnud. He is weariug a red turtle 11eck sweater)

NATHA N

Just a minute! I'm waiting on the Lieutenant-Thank you, Lieutenant.

AD ELAIDE

Nathan, close up the newsstand. We're getting married.

(NATHAN pulls down shade on newsstand-on it is pai11ted "NIITHANN DETROIT'S NEWSSTAND")

HARRY

(Crosses to C.)

Look, is this wedding going to take place or ain't it? I paid half a buck for this Mcsentheorum.

(Shouting to newsstand)

Nathan! Come on.

ADELAIDE

(NATHAN emerges through a small door at R. end of newsstand. He is carrying a top lzat, and cane in his hand and is weariug a very elegant cut-au.my outfit)

NATHAN

(Crosses to Adelaide)

Gee, Adelaide, you picked the busiest time of the day.

HARRY

(Crosses in two steps)

Let's go. where' s the wedding?

- 1 2 8 - GUYS & D OLLS

NATHAN

Holy smoke!

ADELAIDE

What's the matter?

NATHAN

(Crosses to R. pass Adelaide)

I didn't get a place for the wedding.

ADELAIDE

Oh, Nathan!

NICELY

How about the Biltmore Garage?

#31a- E11tra11ce of Missio11 Ba11d

(MISSION BAND enters playing. All five of tl1e Mission Band -for who is now a member but MR. SKY MASTERSON! And in uniform, too. He is rippi11g out "FOLLOW THE FOLD" with the rest of them, swingi11g his big drum stick lustily. ARVID£, meauwhile, lias shifted to the cymbals. THEY stop playing as they get to stage C.)

SKY

(Stnrtillg the pitch, crosses dow11stage one step)

Brothers and Sisters! Life is one big crap game, and the Devil is using loaded dice!

(Enters from R.1)

Where's the crap game?

(Hits drum with caue)

Brother Masterson?

Yes, Brother Detroit?

BIG JULE

NATHAN

SKY

NATHAN

Can we get married in your Mission-Adelaide and I?

(SKY looks at SARAH, who looks at Arvide)

ARVI D E

Certainly, I maiTied Brother Mastersan and Sister Sarah. Glad to do the same for you.

GuYs&Dotts

SKY Congratulations, athan! I'll lay you eight to five you'll be very happy.

SARAH

What Obediah means is-

N ATHAN

Obediah?

SARA H

-he wishes you every happiness and so do I.

ADELAIDE

- 129 -

Thank you very much- I know we're going to be happy. We're going to have a little place in the country, and Nathan will be sitting there, beside me, every single night.

(Comes a11 euormous sueeze from NATHAN. Tlieu IIER expressiou chauges as she real­izes its implicafiolls)

#32- The Happy Ending

ALL

WI IE ' YOU SEE A GUY

REACI I FOR THE STARS I ' THE SKY

YOU CA1 BET THAT HE'S 001 G IT FOR SOME DOLL

WI lEN YOU SPOT A JOH 1

WAITI1 GOUT I TI IE RAI

CJ lA, CES ARE HE'S I 'SAI\:E

AS 0!\:LY A JOHN CAN BE fOR A JANE

WliE ' YOU MEET AGE T

PAY! GALL Kl OS OF RENT

FOR A FLAT THAT COULD FALTTEN THE TAJ MAl l/\L

CALL IT SAD, CALL 11 fUNNY,

BUT IT'S BETTER THAt\: EVEK MONEY

THAT Tl!E GUY'S ONLY DOl G IT FOR S0:\1E DOLL.

LIGHT CUE

CURTAIN

The End