PEERS

Peer Group

CHLD 90.1 Child, Family, Community Interrelationships

By: Maria V, Alejandra F, Nia S, April H

PEERS AND THEIR INFLUENCES ON CHILDREN

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Peers groups play a big role in the lives of children, while the parents influence helps set in core values to their children. The influences of their peer groups are more powerful. Children socialize with their peers as young as six months of age. Infants can communicate with other infants by smiling, playing and touching. They have their own kind of language at their age and are able to interact with one another. They influence each other if one of them cries the other one does too. It’s the peer influence the mimicking and performing similar behaviors. Children will adopt and mimic certain behaviors in social settings in order to get the approval of their peers. Making new friends is hard as well as maintaining existing friends and also trying to fit into peer groups and avoid bullies. Children look for their own friends, who they feel like by and are nice and kind to them.

SOME OF THE SKILLS CHILDREN LEARN THROUGH THEIR PEER RELATIONSHIP Peer relationships in child and adolescent development:

* Peer acceptance and

rejection.

* Friendship development.

* School adjustment.

* Bullying.

* Self-esteem.

* Loneliness.

* The roles that sex

differences, emotions and

culture play in peer relations.

Assertiveness Conflict

management How to earn

respect Control

aggression

PEER'S PURPOSE IS IN THE SOCIALIZATION PROCESS

The peer group influences development of children’s socializing skills. These early friendships help children learn how to negotiate and relate to others, including their siblings and other family members. They learn from peers how to cooperate and socialize according to group norms and group-sanctioned modes of behavior. The peer group can influence what the values, knows, wears, eats, and learns.

PEER GROUP INFLUENCE

· Peers are people of roughly the same age (same stage of development and maturity), similar social identity, and close social proximity. Learning to get along with others who are the same age and status is important.· Typically, children encounter peer group influence around age three or so.· The peer group functions so that children learn to give and take as equal. · The peer group has its own system of modifying behavior through rewards, and punishments, which mostly come in the form of acceptance and rejection.

PEERS

The peer group also teaches a set of lessons that children don’t get from adults; some of these lessons lie in areas that are sensitive and taboo. Most of sex education comes from peers.

The peer group serves as a step in developing independence, as children move out from their parents and family into a new set of circumstances.

The peer group is centered around its own concerns and not necessarily bound by adult norms. It has its own hierarchy

METHODS OF SOCIALIZATION The main methods of socialization are: Operant Methods, Observational

methods, Cognitive methods, Sociocultural methods, and Apprenticeship methods. The socialization process doesn’t start until a child starts an attachment to another person. Attachment means the child cares and trusts a person and is able to start the socialization process through developing relationships.

Operant Methods: The child learns because of the response that he or she receives as a result of his or her behavior. Examples of these methods are: reinforcement, extinction, punishment, feedback, learn by doing.

Observational methods: Children learn by watching other people. They observe what others do, and then imitate the behaviors they see (Modeling).

Cognitive methods: The child’s learning and thinking emerges from information processing. Examples of these methods are: instructions, setting standards, and reasoning.

Sociocultural methods: Traditions, customs, symbols, habits, routines, and group pressures that are passed down to our children. It affects children either because of how parents grew up so it is what they know or from other groups and peers who believe in those methods.

  Apprenticeship methods: The task or action is first taught by an expert, then

through guided participation, the child works with the expert to figure out the task. The expert only guides them with help, but the child attempts to do it on their own and hopefully accomplishes the task.

Peers influence other peers in many ways. It first starts out as peers interact or play near each other at school, they see each others movements and actions but might not form a group of friends just yet. They may influence their play and interactions but they don’t yet form a group of friendships. Or there is sometimes the peer group that the parents set up, maybe a play date, which is controlled by the parents to set up their children to play together.

Eventually children on their own will began to interact with one another and form groups or pairs of peers. These groups have their own activities, interests, rules, and expressions; which is called a “subculture” as it states in chapter 2. The influence of gender is big for peers because most of the time children choose their same gender to play with or form a group with. You will usually see the girls playing with the girls around the coloring or dramatic play area, or you will usually see the boys playing with the boys around the Lego and block area.

Another influence is behavior, peers will act out what they see their own peers doing, for instance “A child starts banging pots together pretending he is playing the drums, then the rest of the class sees that so they start banging their pots together.” Another influence is communication and what their peers say. This definitely influences a child because if their peers say something, then they will usually repeat it back to their parents.

Children often take interest in what their friends have or what their friends want, for example, Johnny says: “My mom bought me a dream light, it’s so cool, all the cool kids have one!” Then the other child goes home and says, “Mom, I want a dream light like Johnny and his mommy bought it for him.”

WHAT IS BULLYING?

Bullying is the act of hurting one person or a group of people repeatedly as a way for the bully to feel superior. Usually the bully

is bigger or stronger than his/her victim.

Bullying is not just having a single disagreement with someone; it is when someone continues to pick on someone else. Often, bullies do not care about their actions and the effects of their actions on

the person they are bullying. When being bullied, the victim usually feels that he or she does not have any power to be able to stop

being bullied.

BULLYING STATISTICS Bullying occurs in every single country around the world.

Unfortunately everyone has probably experienced bullying themselves or knows someone who has experienced being bullied. In the American school system, recent statistics show that:

1 out of 4 kids is bullied. 1 out of 5 kids admits to being a bully, or doing some "bullying." 8% of students miss 1 day of class per month for fear of bullies. 43% of kids fear harassment in the bathroom at school. 100,000 students carry a gun to school. 282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools

each month. More youth violence occurs on school grounds as opposed to on

the way to school. 80% of the time, an argument with a bully will end up in a

physical fight. 1/3 of students surveyed said they heard another student

threaten to kill someone. 1 out of 5 teens knows someone who brings a gun to school. Playground statistics: Every 7 minutes a child is bullied; Adult

intervention - 4%; Peer intervention - 11%; No intervention - 85%.

WHO GETS BULLIED?

People can get bullied for many reasons or for no reason whatsoever. Bullying can be very serious, or it can be as simple as name calling.

People get bullied for many different reasons. People can get bullied because of:

How fast or slow they learn Their choice of lifestyle Being perceived as being too tall, too short, too

unattractive, too thin, too overweight or too plain Their race or religion Where they live Who their parents or siblings are Their choice of clothing or hairstyle Who their friends are The way they speak The fact that they wear glasses or have braces Their disability

Did you know that bullying isn't just someone punching you in the face or a bully calling you a name that you don't like? Bullying is a lot more than that.

There are even different types of bullying.

DIFFERENT KINDS OF BULLYING 1. Physical bullying includes any physical contact that would hurt or injure a person

like hitting, kicking, punching, etc. Taking something that belongs to someone else and destroying it would also be considered a type of physical bullying. For example, if someone was walking down the street and someone came up to them and shoved them to the ground, that would be physical bullying. In elementary and middle schools, 30.5% of all bullying is physical.

2. Verbal bullying is name-calling, making offensive remarks, or joking about a person's religion, gender, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, or the way they look. For example, if there was a group of kids who made fun of another kid because he couldn't run as fast as everyone else, it would be an example of verbal bullying. 46.5% of all bullying in schools is the verbal type. Verbal aggression is when a bully teases someone. It can also include a bully making verbal threats of violence or aggression against someone's personal property.

3. Indirect bullying includes spreading rumors or stories about someone, telling others about something that was told to you in private, and excluding others from groups. An example would be if you started a rumor that a boy in your class likes playing with dolls, and if the reason that you made up the story was because you thought it was funny. This would be indirect bullying. Indirect bullying accounts for 18.5% of all bullying.

4. Social alienation is when a bully excludes someone from a group on purpose. It also includes a bully spreading rumors, and also making fun of someone by pointing out their differences.

5. Intimidation is when a bully threatens someone else and frightens that person enough to make him or her do what the bully wants.

6. Cyber bullying is done by sending messages, pictures, or information using electronic media, computers (email & instant messages), or cell phones (text messaging & voicemail). For instance, if you sent a picture of a snake in an email to a person because you know that they are afraid of snakes, that would be an example of cyber bullying. According to a survey done in 2003 only 4% of bullying is listed as "other types" and this would include cyber bullying. Even though this number seems small, the growth of this type of bullying is going up fast because of the spread of technology around the world.

Many people think that bullying is a normal part of childhood or that "kids will be kids." However, research shows that in fact, bullying can cause negative academic, physical, social, emotional, and psychological consequences on victims, bullies, and witnesses. These consequences can be short-term or long-term. Bullying can also greatly affect the overall climate of a school.

When Kids are Bullied….

CONSEQUENCES OF BEING BULLIED

Victims

Anxiety Stress Sadness Sleep Difficulties Low Self Esteem Headaches Stomach Pain General Tension Depression Anxiety Panic Disorders

VICTIMS OF BULLIES In the social area, victims have few friends or none at all Being a victim can result in poor school attendance, because many

victims become afraid of going to school. They are also scared of riding the school bus or using the bathroom at

school Victims often receive lower grades due to attendance problems, and also

due to their stress and worry. Another possible result of being bullied is that victims may become violent, towards themselves or others.

Some experts believe that school shootings are related to bullying. Students who committed school shootings were over two times as likely to have reported that they were victims of bullying.

Victims are more likely to suffer from anxiety disorders and depression, and these disorders can continue into adulthood. Sometimes the disorders can also cause difficulties with the victims' family, friends, and co-workers in their futures.

In some cases, the bullying may be so severe and may go on for so long that the victim has thoughts of suicide, (which is also called suicidal ideation), or he or she may actually commit suicide. Victims are also more likely to have attempted suicide than their non-bullied peers. The term "bullycide" is used to describe a victim's suicide that occurs due to extreme bullying behavior by a bully toward that victim.

BULLIES

Children who bully others also experience many short term and long term consequences of their bullying behavior. They are more likely to get involved in other harmful activities, both as a child and as an adult. While they are still young, they may steal or vandalize property, start or join in on physical fights, become injured in a fight, skip school, carry a weapon in order to scare others, or use alcohol and other drugs. They are also five times more likely to be taken to criminal court and to be found guilty of a crime than are their peers who do not participate in bullying behavior.

Most bullies do not just "outgrow" their bullying behaviors when they get older. Instead, the aggressive behavior continues into adulthood

The bullies' need for power tends to carry on into their grownup years. As adults, these bullies misuse this power by becoming involved in sexual and racial harassment, child abuse, domestic violence, etc. Their need for power can also show up in how they parent their own children. In turn, their children may even bully other children in the future.

Bullies are more likely to have an antisocial personality disorder, an antisocial personality disorder involves a long-term disregard for others, delinquent behavior, violence, aggression, and violation of the rights of others. In other words, since bullies do not learn appropriate social skills when they are young, they grow up to be antisocial adults. They will have poor relationships with others, including family members, friends, co-workers, etc.

Victims aren't the only ones who may become depressed, think about suicide, or carry out suicide; in some cases, the same can be true for bullies.

WITNESSES

There are also consequences for children who are bystanders or witnesses to bullying. They suffer from frustration, fear, low self-esteem, and a loss of control. They may also feel a huge sense of guilt about the bullying they witness, especially if they do not "S.A.V.E." the victim and the bullying continues. Sometimes their guilt is too much for them to accept. In these cases, the witnesses may go from empathizing with the victim to later thinking that the bullying is acceptable. This is their way of preventing themselves from feeling more guilt in the future; they will simply not even recognize that someone is being hurt.

Witnesses also develop a lot of anxiety and stress. They worry that they will also become a victim and therefore their feelings of safety and security at school decrease. This leads to negative feelings toward school, which can also contribute to problems with learning and achievement.

WHY DO KIDS BULLY?...A CRY FOR HELP There are many reasons why kids bully. Did you know that bullying behavior

is often a cry for help? According to Frank Peretti, there are two basic reasons why kids bully.   One reason a child bullies is because he (or she) "has a deep troubling need

of his own" and is picked on or feels that he does not have a very successful life. Bullies may be experiencing trouble at home, be underachievers in school, and for whatever reason they feel they have to make themselves better by picking on someone else. On the outside bullies may look fine, but they may be very lonely or may deliberately try to hurt themselves or have trouble eating or sleeping.

Another reason kids bully is that they may fall into a trap by thinking that bullying is just "the cool thing to do," especially in front of their friends. Sometimes bullies are those kids who are good students, athletes, or the kids who seem to have everything going for them. In Time Magazine, it was reported that even though bullies often will have high self-esteem, they "tend to be victims of physical damage as well." Most bullies live in families in which parents discipline them "inconsistently or through physical means."

Unfortunately, there are people who reward others who bully. The bullies are made to feel that they are "fitting in" with the others, or are "being cool" when they are acting like a bully.

Another reason why kids bully others is that adults don't give kids the skills they need to be able to tolerate and appreciate the differences of others.

Bullies also tend to continue their behavior throughout their lives. Their bullying actions become a cycle, in that bullies have children that they bully, and then their children become aggressive, and then they bully others too.

SIGNS A CHILD IS BEING BULLIED Look for changes in the child. However, be aware that not all

children who are bullied exhibit warning signs. Some signs that may point to a bullying problem are: Unexplainable injuries Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or faking

illness Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge

eating. Kids may come home from school hungry because they did not eat lunch.

Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to

go to school Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations Feelings of helplessness or decreased self esteem Self-destructive behaviors such as running away from home,

harming themselves, or talking about suicide

SIGNS A CHILD IS BULLYING OTHERS Kids may be bullying others if they: Get into physical or verbal fights Have friends who bully others Are increasingly aggressive Get sent to the principal’s office or to

detention frequently Have unexplained extra money or new

belongings Blame others for their problems Don’t accept responsibility for their actions Are competitive and worry about their

reputation or popularity www.Stopbullying.gov

PLEASE VISIT: Kids Talk About Bullying http://www.youtube.com/watch?

v=39fiuigmL-w

http://library.thinkquest.org/07aug/00117/typesbullying.html