Sample Essay Some academic essays include visual data in the form of graphs or charts. When including these in your writing it is important to describe the information they show. This can support your argument. The following sample essay describes visual information in two graphs to show you what sort of vocabulary to use and how to structure your description.

Task Use the graphics given in Figures 1 and 2 below to write two separate descriptive texts. Each text should be about 150-200 words in length. Notice that the first graphic represents static information, and the second dynamic. Figure 1

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Figure 2

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Sample Answer

Sample answer 1: static information Figure 1 illustrates our case studies of six international students who have taken the Baccalaureate over the past year. We can see from the chart that each student has achieved a degree of consistency across their three main subject areas. Scores are shown on the vertical axis and each of their subject areas is represented by a differently-coloured bar and is labelled Series 1, 2 or 3. All cases have been made anonymous and students are identified only by a number, from 1 to 6. Student 3 is clearly the most successful, having gained a score of at least 16 in each main subject, indeed 17 in two cases. Student 6 managed to achieve similar results, with scores of 16 across the board. Somewhat weaker were students 5 and 1. With an average of 14.66 and 14 respectively, their outcomes are in line with the international average. Student 2 scored slightly below the average with 13.33, while the weakest student in the cohort, number 4, has scores of 11, 12 and 15 making an average of just 12.66. Sample answer 2: dynamic information Figure 2 presents figures for longevity, in other words the average age at death of a population. The longevity figures for Country 2, given in red, indicate a gradual increase over the past 50 years. From an average age at death of 54 at the beginning of the survey in 1960, the figure has risen slowly to just over 62 for the latest available statistics. The most dramatic increase in this country was during the 1970s when there was a dramatic leap from 54 to 60 years in a single decade. Country 1 (the blue line), meanwhile, has not seen such dramatic increases but it did start from a higher age. Over the same period longevity has gone up gently from 67.5 to a respectable 75 years. This increase has been fairly steady over the period. Finally, Country 3, yellow on the chart, has posted the highest absolute figures. During the 50-year period longevity has increased significantly from 68.6 years in 1960 to the most recent figure of 79.1.

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Comments

Comments for sample answer 1 When describing visual information, it is important to make it clear exactly what you are referring to.

• The sample text clearly identifies the chart it describes by its title: Figure 1 • It refers to the chart using appropriate verbs: Figure 1 illustrates, We can see from the chart. Other

useful verbs: Figure 1 shows/presents/represents • The text starts with a general statement describing the purpose of the chart, then describes in more

detail what the different elements of the chart represent: Scores are shown on the vertical axis and each of their subject areas is represented by a differently-coloured bar and is labelled Series 1, 2 or 3. All cases have been made anonymous and students are identified only by a number, from 1 to 6. Note the vertical axis is the line down the side of a chart or graph and the horizontal axis runs along the bottom.

• The results of the different students are then grouped logically; the most successful students first, moving through to the weakest, mentioning them in pairs where they are similar. It isn’t necessary to describe each element of a chart in turn. You are aiming to interpret the information for your reader by grouping it, making comparisons or highlighting what is significant.

Comments for sample answer 2

• Again the sample text starts with a general statement about the purpose of the graph, including a definition of a key term; longevity.

• It uses a range of appropriate verbs and nouns to describe changes and trends: Upward movement:

Verbs: rise, go up, increase - other useful verbs include: climb, raise (transitive verb), soar, rocket, jump, shoot up, leap Nouns: an increase, a leap - other useful nouns include: a rise, a jump

Downward movement: Verbs include: fall, go down, slow down, decrease, decline, drop, plunge, plummet, collapse, crash Nouns include: a decrease, a drop, a decline, a fall

• It uses adverbs and adjectives to describe the rate or type of change: adverb + verb: rise slowly, go up gently other useful adverbs: fast, quickly, dramatically, suddenly, noticeably, steeply, sharply,

gradually, slightly adjective + noun: a gradual increase, a dramatic increase/leap other useful adjectives: fast, steep, sudden, noticeable, significant, severe, sharp, slow,

gentle • The text also uses a variety of different time expressions:

Point in time: at the beginning of the survey, the latest available statistics, in 1960, the most recent figure

Period of time: over the past 50 years, during the 1970s, in a single decade, over the same period, during the 50-year period

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