God Sets the Lonely in Families -...
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+ God Sets the Lonely in Families By John Louis
Transcript of God Sets the Lonely in Families -...
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God Sets the Lonely in Families
By John Louis
+Psalm 68:5-6
5 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.
6 God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.
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1. Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
+Genesis 2:18
18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
John 17:13
13"I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them.
+Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
It is not good for a man to be alone…but as a single you
do not have to be alone.
Just because you are single it does not mean you have to
be alone and it does not mean that you have to be
lonely.
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Loneliness –
“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”
~ African Proverb
Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
+Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
Humans are inherently social creatures…not debatable. Social connection is not a good suggestion, it is a need.
There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Loneliness has an impact on a person’s health, being alone does not.
+Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
In the midst of many activities, a person can still be lonely.
The UCLA Loneliness Scale by Daniel W. Russell. Findings in the church…
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Loneliness Survey taken from UCLA loneliness test by Daniel Russell http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/mid/NIHMS47842/table/T1/
By National Institute of Health, USA
Public Access
Survey of church (by Age)
Survey of church (by Gender)
Survey of church (by Status)
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The pain of social isolation is loneliness. Pain from touching a hot stove means distancing your finger from it. Likewise, with loneliness, the pain means that you need better social connection (not necessarily more), not less.
Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
+Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
When the need of social connection is not met, loneliness will set in and will become chronic.
The pain is real and disrupts your health, physically and psychologically.
+Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
The part of the brain that reacts to physical pain is the same part that reacts when we feel rejected.
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Do you have close, intimate friendships?
Who are your friends, really? When you have tickets for a movie/play/holiday, who would you go out with?
Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
Movie&TherapyTM&
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The worst form of punishment is solitary confinement…
Michael Jackson, Princess Diana, Marilyn Monroe - Three famous figures who made their loneliness known to the world.
Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
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When we feel socially connected, we attribute that to our own success.
When we are not feeling socially connected, usually, we blame others.
Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
+Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
Myth
“If I am single, I will be lonely…”
Completely not true
+Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
Loneliness then causes us to put pressure on ourselves to get married:
“I need to get married…”, “I need a girlfriend…” “I am useless if I do not have one…”. A partner should be the icing on the cake, not the cake itself.
Attending weddings, seeing friends getting pregnant, these are natural events which trigger us to put pressure on ourselves.
+Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
Parents, friends, and others say, “I can’t believe that you can’t meet someone…” as if you are at fault.
Don’t settle for less just to shut them up. Some parents want grandchildren…or family name to be passed down, not about your personal fulfillment. Who is being selfish?
+Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
Many friends lower their standards to get you to date... Date around, and get experience.
E.g. Shooting at a bull's-eye… You will get closer to the middle with practice.
When and if the right person comes, it is worth it…
+Movie TherapyTM
+
Are you incomplete if you are by yourself? Low self-esteem.
Get labeled; gay, cold hearted, man/woman hater…
In US, 23% of woman ages 30-34 have never been married ~ J. Schefft, “Better Single Than Sorry: A No-Regrets Guide to Loving Yourself and Never Settling,” (2008): 6
Biological clock ticking…Many get depressed, like playing musical chairs, 100 singles, but only 4 chairs…Not true.
Get into self pity
Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
+Movie TherapyTM
+Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
Create a life that you enjoy without a boyfriend/girlfriend. Take vacations, mixed holidays, trips together.
Spend so much time getting bothered, not enough time enjoying the journey together. Anxiety can be contagious…
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Women who say “no” to a relationship because they have healthy expectations should be given great respect, not looked down upon. E.g. Jen Schefft, turned down two proposals in the Bachelor and Bachelorette breakups, and she was criticized.
Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
+Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
One author on Narcissism says that this disorder is spreading, growing in today’s self-centered world.
In schema therapy, we are told that 70 % of Narcissists are men. Therefore there are a lot of men not suitable.
Many women also have issues.
2 Timothy 3: 1-5
+2 Timothy 3:1-5 1But mark this: There will be terrible times in
the last days. 2People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.
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Do not settle for less. What are your needs as opposed to wants?
What are absolute priorities and what are you able to do without?
Make spirituality an absolute need, not an option.
Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
+Movie TherapyTM
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In 1950s, women did not support themselves, now they do. So you have a great option to choose someone who will treat you well and who is a spiritual and fun partner to be with.
If parents inquire, tell them how you feel about their marriage. Many of them are lousy…not role models.
So much of it is about “losing face” to have an unmarried son/daughter.
Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
+Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
Being in a relationship can be lonelier than being single.
Triantapentephobia ~ J. Schefft, “Better Single Than Sorry: A No-Regrets Guide to Loving Yourself and Never Settling,” (2008): 94 – 1. An abnormal fear of the number 35, common among single women and related to the age when experts say fertility begins to significantly decline. 2. A force of evil that makes many women settle.
+Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
“Good on paper” does not mean “good for you”. Pressure from others make you feel that some jerk will change being with you and it should all work out…really?
+Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
You are worthwhile without a man/woman in your life.
Keep looking. Look for opportunities, pray, but it really is not the end.
+Movie TherapyTM
+Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
The myth that if you’re single, you will be lonely, makes us settle for so much less…
Alone does not have to mean lonely…
+Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
Why settle for so much less…
What are you able to do as a single? Will you really be miserable?
All life stages have unmet expectations – don’t wait for HAPPINESS to HAPPEN to you. Make it for yourself!
+Single ≠ Alone ≠ Lonely
There is freedom when you have high expectations; breaking away from destructive relationships.
You deserve so much more…
+Movie TherapyTM
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2. Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
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In this section, much of the research material was drawn from the book ‘loneliness’ by John T. Cacioppo & William Patrick (2008)
Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
+Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
For young adults, there is a huge alcohol problem among the lonely.
+Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
By middle age, lonely adults consume more alcohol, engage is less exercise, fatter diet, less quality sleep. This wear and tear will take its toll.
~ Cacioppo et al., “Lonely traits and concomitant physiological processes: The MacArthur social neuroscience studies,” International Journal of Psychophysiology 35 (2000): 143-154; Cacioppa and Hawkley, “Social isolation and health, with an emphasis on underlying mechanism,” Perspectives in Biology and Medicine 46 (2003): S39-S52; Hawkley, Thisted and Cacioppo, “ Loneliness predicts reduced physical activity: cross-sectional and longitudinal analyses,” Society for Personality and Social Psychology, New Orleans, LA, January 2005, Akerlind and Hornquist, “Loneliness and alcohol abuse: A review of evidence of an interplay,” Social Science and Medicine 34 (1992): 405-414; Cacioppa et al., “Lonely days invade the nights: social modulation of sleep efficiency,” Psychological Science 13 (2002): 384-387
+Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
Chronic loneliness makes us miserable and sick.
It even affects our thinking.
+Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
Experiment A
An experiment was done by Baumeister, at Florida State University (2002) where undergraduates were randomly put into three groups. The group that they were in was based on a bogus personality test. They were then told predictive outcomes based on their answers to the so-called test.
+Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
First group (Future Belonging) were told – “You’re the type that will have rewarding relationships, happy marriage with plenty of people who will care about you.”
Second group (Future Alone) were told – “You may have friends now, but by mid twenties, most will drift away. Your marriage is likely to fail. Relationships won’t last for you. Odds are, you’ll end up more and more alone the longer you live.”
+Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
Third group (Misfortune Control) “You’re inherently accident prone. You can count on breaking a bone in your body at some point or being injured in an accident…”
+Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
Then all three groups were asked to describe their mood and were told to take IQ tests in math, spatial, verbal reasoning. The second group, the “future alone” group, performed significantly worse than the other two and showed impairment in speed and accuracy.
+Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
Bad news alone was not bad, but bad news about social connection was particularly disruptive. Hence the negative power of perceived loneliness.
~ R. F. Baumeister, J. M. Twenge and C. K. Nuss, “Effects of social exclusion on cognitive processes: Anticipated aloneness reduces intelligent thought,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 83, no. 4 (2002): 817-827.
Conclusion: Loneliness Slows Down Our Thinking
+Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
Experiment B
Another set of relationship experiments (2005) were given to people related to eating foods that felt good, but were clearly not good for their health.
+Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
All three groups were allowed to mingle and to make friends for a while.
Then each person was allowed to pick two persons that they would like to work with.
The rest were told that no one would like to work with them…
+Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
Results –
a) Participants who were socially rejected ate twice as many cookies as those who had been told that others wanted to work with them.
b) Social disconnection appeared to make the cookies taste better, in that the ones “rejected” rated the cookies more favorably than the others.
+Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
Results –
c) They ate a relatively large number of cookies even when they did not find them appealing.
~ R. F. Baumeister, C. N. DeWall, N. J. Ciarocco and J. M. Twenge, “Social exclusion impairs self-regulation,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 88, (2005): 589-604.
+Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
Any wonder why we turn to ice cream or other fatty foods when we feel lonely?
Conclusion:
Loneliness Increases Our Appetite and Decreases Our Self-Control
+Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
Experiment C
In another experiment (2001), participants made to feel excluded evaluated others more harshly, and when the rules of the experimental exercise called for sanctions, they agreed to administer more punishment to fellow participants.
~ J. M. Twenge, R. F. Baumeister, D. M. Tice, and T. S. Stucke, “If you can’t join them, beat them: Effects of social exclusion on aggressive behavior,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 81 (2001): 1058-69. K. Rotenberg, “Loneliness and interpersonal trust,” Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology 13 (1994): 152-173
+Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
Also, those who were excluded were far less willing to donate money to help a stranger following a mishap staged as part of the experiment.
+Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
They were also willing to take more self-defeating risks, to procrastinate, indulging with pleasurable tasks when they needed to be studying for upcoming tests. ~ J. M. Twenge, R. F. Baumeister, C. N. DeWall, N. J. Ciarocco and J. M. Bartels, “Social exclusion decreases prosocial behavior,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 92 (2007): 56-66. J. M. Twenge, K. R. Cantanese and R. F. Baumeister, “Social exclusion causes self-defeating behavior,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 83 (2002): 606-615.
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Conclusion:
Loneliness Increases Our Pessimism and Punitiveness
Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
+Movie TherapyTM
+Movie TherapyTM
+Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
Ohio State Study (High and Low Lonely Participants)
Stanford University Study (Participants Hypnotized to Feel High and Low Lonely)
~ Cacioppo et al., “Lonely traits and concomitant physiological processes: The MacArthur social neuroscience studies,” International Journal of Psychophysiology 35 (2000): 143-154; Ernst and Cacioppo, “Lonely hearts: Psychological perspectives on loneliness,” Applied and Preventive Psychology 8 (1998): 1-22; Leary and Baumeister, “The nature and function of self-esteem: Sociometer theory,” in M. P. Zanna, ed., Advances in experimental social psychology, vol. 32 (San Diego: Academic Press, 2000): 1-62; Leary et al., “Self-esteem as an interpersonal monitor,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 68 (1995): 518-530; Cacioppo et al., ‘Loneliness within a nomological net.”
Ohio State Study Comparison of characteristics of very lonely
individuals with those of not at all lonely individuals.
Taken from the book ‘loneliness’ by John T. Cacioppo & William Patrick
Stanford University Study Comparison of characteristics of individuals induced to feel lonely with those of the same
individuals induced to feel nonlonely.
Taken from the book ‘loneliness’ by John T. Cacioppo & William Patrick
+Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
Conclusion:
Students high in loneliness (dashed line) reported lower levels of support, higher levels of shyness, poorer social skills, higher anger, higher anxiety, lower self esteem, higher negative evaluation, lower optimism, lower positive mood, and higher negative mood.
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Loneliness is the ringleader that brought all these other components with it…
The emotional influences of loneliness do not show up in X-ray or in your blood test, but they do have an enormous impact in your life over time.
Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
+Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
Loneliness will takes its toll- Loneliness is on par with high blood pressure, obesity, lack of exercise, or smoking as a risk factor for early death
~ J. S. House, K. R. Landis and D. Umbertson, “Social relationships and health,” Science 241 (1988): 540-545
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In short, loneliness…
1. Slows Down Our Thinking
2. Increases Our Appetite
3. Decreases Our Self-Control
4. Increases Our Pessimism
5. Increases Our Punitiveness
Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
+Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
Because loneliness is the ringleader, and it brings with it all the other negative components, we eventually changes our values…
+Movie TherapyTM
+Movie TherapyTM
+
In short, loneliness…
1. Slows Down Our Thinking
2. Increases Our Appetite
3. Decreases Our Self-Control
4. Increases Our Pessimism
5. Increases Our Punitiveness
Loneliness Increases Our Dysfunctionality
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3. The Downward Spiral Effect of Loneliness
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The lonely and non lonely did not differ in their exposure to major sources of stress, like their jobs.
No difference in the number of irritants, hassles. For both the lonely and non-lonely this is about the same.
The Downward Spiral Effect of Loneliness
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The lonely just get more negative and this interferes with their relationships. They perceive these threats to be worse than the non-lonely people.
They express greater feelings of helplessness and threats.
The Downward Spiral Effect of Loneliness
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The lonely find “good news” to be less uplifting than non lonely people
~ Cacioppo et al., “Lonely traits and concomitant physiological processes.” Hawkley et al., “Loneliness in everyday life”
They seek less emotional support and have passive coping styles.
The Downward Spiral Effect of Loneliness
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Quality of sleep for the lonely is worse than the non lonely
~ Hawkley and Cacioppo, “Aging and loneliness: Downhill quickly?”
Loneliness decreases our ability to be empathic with others.
~ P. L. Jackson, A. N. Meltzoff and Decety, “ How do we perceive the pain of others? A window into the neural processes involved in empathy,” NeuroImage 24 (2005): 771-779
The Downward Spiral Effect of Loneliness
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4. Identifying Loneliness
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“Who Are You?” Three ways that Wendi Gardner and Marilyn Brewer found that people would like to describe themselves…
~ M. B. Brewer and W. Gardner, “Who is this ‘we’? Levels of collective identity and self representations,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 71 (1996): 83-93
Identifying Loneliness
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a. A personal or intimate self This is the YOU in relation to your individual characteristics, without reference to anyone else. e.g. weight, intelligence, athletic, ability
b. A social or relational self This is the YOU in relation to the people closest to you – your spouse, kids, friends, neighbors
c. A collective self This is the YOU that is a member of a certain ethnic group, national identity, certain professions, sports team, church
+1 John 3:11
11This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another.
1 John 3: 18 18Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
+1 John 3: 23
23And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us.
1 John 4: 7-8 7Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
+ Identifying Loneliness
People want to be identified in all three spheres…(picture a three-legged chair).
The “self” does behave differently in each of them sometimes…
When events knock one of these three legs out from under us, we start to feel lonely.
+ Identifying Loneliness
Loneliness rarely travels alone. Its constant companion is depression.
Loneliness is how you feel about your relationships. Depression is how you feel, period. Depression holds you back and makes you feel like taking a passive approach to improving things.
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5. Health, Wealth and Happiness
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Health, Wealth and Happiness Health, Wealth and Happiness – A study showed that the happiness of lottery winners, and happiness of accident victims returned to their original levels within two years… ~ P. Brickman, D. Coates and R. Janoff-Bulman, “Lottery winners and accident victims: Is happiness relative?” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 36 (1978): 917-927
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Health, Wealth and Happiness Happiness – Which factors predicted a person’s happiness over a three year period? ~ J. T. Cacioppo, L. C. Hawkley, A. Kalil, M. E. Hughes, L. Waite and R. A. Thisted, “Happiness and the invisible threads of social connection: The Chicago Health, Aging, and Social Relations Study,” in M. Eid and R. Larsen, eds., The science of well-being (New York: Guilford, 2008), 195-219
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Health, Wealth and Happiness a. Social Connections b. Household Income – There is a requirement for a
minimum level beyond which more income ceases to make a person happier.
c. Age – The older healthier people become, the happier they get, despite common misconceptions. ~ J. T. Cacioppo and W. Patrick, “Loneliness: human nature and the need for social connection,” (2008): 219
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Health, Wealth and Happiness
We are really able to be happier at church with real relationships, if we are connected.
+Movie TherapyTM
+Movie TherapyTM
+
Health, Wealth and Happiness d. Other important contributors to being happy…
Some of the most serene and joyful people are the ones who spend their time taking care of others…
Positive emotions come from helping others, often known as the “helper’s high”. We are able to get this chemical without taking a pill.
Again we could reap all of this from church, if we are connected.
e. People who forgive, not take revenge…
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6. Overcoming Loneliness
+Overcoming Loneliness
1. Go Against Our Intuition • When we cross a certain line (a high
loneliness score) our intuition will give us wrong advice:
- I don’t want relationships. I want to be by myself. - I am not healthy enough to do anything for others. I want my needs taken care of first…then I will help others.
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I John 4: 16b-21 God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in
him. 17In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. 18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 19We love because he first loved us. 20If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 21And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.
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John 15: 13 13Greater love has no one than this, that he
lay down his life for his friends.
John 17: 13 13"I am coming to you now, but I say these
things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them.
+Overcoming Loneliness
Jesus knew that our love for one another and concern for others would bring JOY to us. It was what brought JOY to Him…
+Overcoming Loneliness
a. Hungry? Eat. Sharp pain in toe? Remove. Feeling Lonely? Answer – better connection… but we cope with our shame by resorting to sex, substance abuse, greed, over-eating. This reinforces our negative thinking.
Movie TherapyTM
+Overcoming Loneliness
Many settle for poor superficial relationships, E.g. Getting a trophy from a famous person, and boasting about this impersonal relationship is like bragging about the many relationships you have but none of any good quality.
+Overcoming Loneliness
b. When we feel lonely, our intuition says, “Take care of me first, love me, It’s my turn…” Unfortunately this formula never works…
Just like Jesus says, “He who is first will be last, and the last first.”
+Overcoming Loneliness
2. Quality Small Groups
Competitiveness
Vulnerability
3. Fill Up Saturday Evenings
4. Pair up with a Buddy
+Overcoming Loneliness
5. Hang Outs
Other best friends – How many do you have?
Shoot for up to 7. Tall order but possible with gradual investment of time.
6. Give to Others (see later)
+Overcoming Loneliness
Healing comes when we are outwardly focused.
Healing comes when we take small steps to help others. It comes with doing…
~ J. T. Cacioppo and W. Patrick, “Loneliness: human nature and the need for social connection,” (2008): 233.
Healing comes when we take small steps to develop meaningful relationships. Volunteer, help others…
Movie TherapyTM
Movie TherapyTM
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John 15: 13-17 13Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14You are my friends if you do what I command. 15I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 17This is my command: Love each other.
+Overcoming Loneliness
Research findings…
Respondents in 2004 social science survey were three times more likely to report having no one with whom to discuss important matters than respondents in 1985.
+Overcoming Loneliness
In 1990, more than one in five households with children under eighteen was headed by a single parent. Currently it is nearly one in three.
~ M. McPherson, L. Smith-Lovin and M. T. Brashears, “Social isolation in America: Changes in core discussion networks over two decades,” American Sociological Review 71 (2006): 353-375
F. Hobbs and N. Stoops, Demographic trends in the 20th century, U.S. Census Bureau, Census 2000 Special Reports, Series CENSR-4 (Washington, DC: U.S. Government Printing Office, 2002)
+Overcoming Loneliness
Trend towards social isolation is increasing, not decreasing.
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Finding a future partner…the world puts some much premium on looks…
Which has been proven to be stronger…”Birds of a feather flock together” or “Opposites Attract?” Research has shown that similarity has triumphed complementary. This was why God mentions this in 2 Corinthians 6: 14… He was more focused on the similarity and our common values…
Overcoming Loneliness
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2 Corinthians 6: 14 14Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.
For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
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Our ONE ANOTHER RELATIONSHIPS in the Church can make us healthy!
Church attendance –People who go to church more than once a week enjoy better health than those that do not. One study showed that the reduction in mortality was 25%.
~ L. H. Powell, L. Shahabi and C. E. Thoresen, “Religion and spirituality: Linkages to physical health,” American Psychologist 58 (2003): 36-52.
Overcoming Loneliness
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1. Go Against Our Intuition
2. Quality Small Groups
Competitiveness
Vulnerability
3. Fill Up Saturday Evenings
4. Pair up with a Buddy
Overcoming Loneliness
+
5. Hang Outs
Other best friends – How many do you have?
Shoot for up to 7. Tall order but possible with gradual investment of time.
6. Give to Others
Overcoming Loneliness
+References
L. H. Powell, L. Shahabi and C. E. Thoresen, “Religion and spirituality: Linkages to physical health,” American Psychologist 58 (2003): 36-52.
M. McPherson, L. Smith-Lovin and M. T. Brashears, “Social isolation in America: Changes in core discussion networks over two decades,” American Sociological Review 71 (2006): 353-375
F. Hobbs and N. Stoops, Demographic trends in the 20th century, U.S. Census Bureau, Census 2000 Special Reports, Series CENSR-4 (Washington, DC: U.S. Government Printing Office, 2002)
J. Schefft, “Better Single Than Sorry: A No-Regrets Guide to Loving Yourself and Never Settling,” (2008): 6
J. T. Cacioppo, J. M. Ernst, M. H. Burleson, M. K. McClintok, W. B. Malarkey, L. C. Hawkley, R. B. Kowalewski, A. Paulsen, J. A. Hopson, K. Hugdahl, D. Spiegel, and G. G. Berntson, “Lonely traits and concomitant physiological processes: The MacArthur social neuroscience studies,” International Journal of Psychophysiology 35 (2000): 143-154; J. T. Cacioppa and L. C. Hawkley, “Social isolation and health, with an emphasis on underlying mechanism,” Perspectives in Biology and Medicine 46 (2003): S39-S52. L. C. Hawkley, R. A. Thisted and J. T. Cacioppo, “ Loneliness predicts reduced physical activity: cross-sectional and longitudinal analyses,” in a symposium entitled “Health Behaviors: The relevance of social context and relationship features,” Society for Personality and Social Psychology, New Orleans, LA, January 2005, I. Akerlind and J. O. Hornquist, “Loneliness and alcohol abuse: A review of evidence of an interplay,” Social Science and Medicine 34 (1992): 405-414.
J. T. Cacioppa, L. C. Hawkley, G. G. Berntson, J. M. Ernst, A. C. Gibbs, R. Stickgold and J. A. Hobson, “Lonely days invade the nights: social modulation of sleep efficiency,” Psychological Science 13 (2002): 384-387
+References
R. F. Baumeister, J. M. Twenge and C. K. Nuss, “Effects of social exclusion on cognitive processes: Anticipated aloneness reduces intelligent thought,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 83, no. 4 (2002): 817-827.
R. F. Baumeister, C. N. DeWall, N. J. Ciarocco and J. M. Twenge, “Social exclusion impairs self-regulation,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 88, (2005): 589-604.
J. M. Twenge, R. F. Baumeister, D. M. Tice, and T. S. Stucke, “If you can’t join them, beat them: Effects of social exclusion on aggressive behavior,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 81 (2001): 1058-69. K. Rotenberg, “Loneliness and interpersonal trust,” Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology 13 (1994): 152-173
J. M. Twenge, R. F. Baumeister, C. N. DeWall, N. J. Ciarocco and J. M. Bartels, “Social exclusion decreases prosocial behavior,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 92 (2007): 56-66. J. M. Twenge, K. R. Cantanese and R. F. Baumeister, “Social exclusion causes self-defeating behavior,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 83 (2002): 606-615.
J. T. Cacioppo, J. M. Ernst, M. H. Burleson, M. K. McClintok, W. B. Malarkey, L. C. Hawkley, R. B. Kowalewski, A. Paulsen, J. A. Hopson, K. Hugdahl, D. Spiegel, and G. G. Berntson, “Lonely traits and concomitant physiological processes: The MacArthur social neuroscience studies,” International Journal of Psychophysiology 35 (2000): 143-154
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