Goal Setting For Young Fathers Brad Hofmann NMGRADS Training October 2, 2014.

Goal Setting For Young Fathers

Brad HofmannNMGRADS Training

October 2, 2014

#1 Predictor of Success

DESIRE (not just willingness) to achieve well-defined goals

Brad Hofmann NMGRADS 10/2/2014


Result Goals vs. Process Goals

• Result Goals are end points

• They are what people usually think of as goals• Graduate from high school• Become a teacher• Get in shape• Model positive relationships for my children


Process Goals

The means to the end – how to go about achieving the Result Goals

Result Goal: • Graduate from high school

Process Goals: 1. Enter all assignments in weekly planner2. Homework/study for 1 hour after school 4 weekdays

per week3. Face-to-face check-in with each teacher at least once

every two weeks


Process Goals

THIS IS WHERE TO FOCUS CONCENTRATION AND ENERGY


Advantages of Focus on Process Goals

• Focus is on actions/behavior, which can be controlled as opposed to results which can’t always be controlled

• Gain satisfaction, self-esteem and confidence from short-term progress and victories

• More able to overcome result failures and continue striving toward long-term Result Goals


Tips and Tricks for Goal Setting1. S – specific M – measurable A – attainable (but not too easy) R – relevant T – time-bound2. Prioritize goals

For example: A goal involving child safety would take priority over a goal to

exercise 3 times a week.3. Goals can be divided into short-term and long-term


Tips and Tricks for Goal Setting (cont’d)

4. Goals are adjustable. They should never be a burden.

5. Keep goals visible. Daily viewing is best.6. Reflect on goals consistently7. Goals should be phrased with positive

language – avoid negative language like don’tExample: Don’t stay out too late.

Go to bed by 10 p.m.

Where do you come in?

1. Create an environment where fathers can choose and develop good, realistic Result Goals for themselves

2. Help fathers identify and formalize steps (Process Goals) necessary for them to achieve their Result Goals


Assisting with Result Goals1. Individuals must develop and commit to

their own goals- Assist by listening to the young father

* Learn who he is* Learn what he wants* Learn what issues he is having

2. Build a good rapport first. Setting goals is very personal.


Assisting with Result Goals (cont’d)

3. Educate with information and discussion (24/7 Dads, Circle of Security)-What do good fathers do?-How were you parented? (What was/wasn’t helpful?)-How has a high school diploma helped other fathers?-What types of jobs match interests/skills?-How can a father work well with the child’s mother?

* Provide the best available information without telling him what to do. Put him in a position to set good Result Goals for himself.



4. Have them write down 1 Result Goal per category. [Self-care, Education, Career, Parenting, Relationships]

- If possible, start with self-care

* You can’t control your performance until you can control yourself.



5. Never write goals for the young father

If he doesn’t have any ideas of his own you can ask him if he’d like to hear what other fathers have tried.


Assisting with Process Goals

1. This is where we can give more direct input2. Check that the father knows what needs to

be done to achieve his Result Goals- Fill in knowledge gaps and correct any

misunderstandings3. Have the young father write 2 or 3 attainable

Process Goals per Result GoalSTART SMALL Success breeds success


Assisting with Process Goals (cont’d)

4. Believe in the young father so that he develops enough confidence to take action on Process Goals

5. Have father set up time to review Process Goals regularly (Daily or Weekly)

6. Help father notice and celebrate small victories regarding Process Goals

Example: 1 full week of daily hour after school homework/studying


Goal Setting by Category

• Self-care• Education• Career• Parenting• Relationships


Self-Care (Self-maintenance)• Best place to start• For many new dads, a stress management goal is

vital• Example– Result Goal: Keep stress level low throughout this semester– Process Goals:

1. Before bed, note overall stress level for day (Using 1-10 scale)2. Sleep at least 7 hours every night3. Spend 30 minutes every day doing something that is important

but not urgent


Education• Our goal is to have young fathers graduate• Our job is to get them to want this for themselves and to

have the confidence/courage to take action• Example– Result Goal: Graduate from high school– Process Goals:

1. Enter all assignments in weekly planner2. Homework/study for 1 hour after school 4 weekdays

per week3. Face-to-face check-in with each teacher at least once

every two weeks


Career• Three important questions:– What do you like?– What are you good at?– What has meaning to you?

• Example– Result Goal: Obtain part-time employment in a field that could

lead to a full-time career– Process Goals:

1. List potential fields2. Create a resume and a cover letter that expresses interest in this

area3. Meet with school counselor to develop list of potential employer

contacts


Parenting

• Example–Result Goal: To be involved in my child’s life.–Process Goals:

1. Change at least 5 of my child’s diapers a week.

2. Read to my child at least 3 times a week.3. Dress my child at least 3 mornings a week.


Relationships• Example– Result Goal: Communicate consistently and

appropriately with the child’s mother.– Process Goals:

1. Set up at least one 20 minute session per week to talk (uninterrupted) with partner

2. Discuss issues/problems with partner only when able to be logical and objective rather than emotional (Stress level 5 or below)

3. Keep voice level and tone at a 5 on a scale of 1-10 (1= whisper, 10=yelling)


Goal Setting Summary

• Individuals develop their own goals

• Our main role is to educate and empower for positive goal development

• Use Result Goals and Process Goals– Focus attention and energy mainly on Process

Goals

Goal Setting For Young Fathers Brad Hofmann NMGRADS Training October 2, 2014.

Documents

Transcript of Goal Setting For Young Fathers Brad Hofmann NMGRADS Training October 2, 2014.