313© Th e Author(s) 2016K. Qureshi, Marital Breakdown among British Asians, DOI 10.1057/978-1-137-57047-5

Alim Religious scholar Angrezi shariat British Muslim law Baji Elder sister Barhe Elders Beizzati Disgrace, dishonour Biradari Extended family, patrilineage, clan, caste Cafcass Th e Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Services Chacha Father’s brother Deen Religion Faskh Marriage dissolved by scholar or judge Gora/gori/gore White person, people Halal Legitimate Halala Practice whereby a woman who wants to remarry her husband must

fi rst marry another man and be divorced by him Haq Right, entitlement Haq mahr Sum of money pledged from the husband and his family to the

wife, in consideration for the marriage Iddat Th ree-month period following widowhood or divorce during which a

woman is not permitted to remarry

Glossary

314 Glossary

Imam Priest Istikhara Ritual divination by dream Izzat Respect, honour Kala/kali/kale Black person, people Khala Mother’s sister Kharcha Money, household expenses Khul, khula Islamic divorce by mutual consent Mahr As haq mahr See above Mama, mamoo Mother’s brother Maulana Priest Maulvi Priest Namaz Obligatory prayer Nikaah Islamic marriage Nikaahnama Islamic marriage certifi cate Paise Money Pir Spiritual mentor or healer Puppo Father’s sister Qazi Religious judge Razinama Agreement to reconcile Rishta/rishte Proposal, match, hand in marriage Rishtedar Relatives Shaadi Marriage, wedding Sharia Islamic law and ethical norms Sharom Shame Sheikh Religious mentor Sula Reconciliation Talaaq Unilateral Islamic divorce by the husband, repudiation Talaaqnama Divorce agreement Taveez, taweez Amulet used for spiritual healing Ulema Religious scholars, plural Zever Jewellery

315© Th e Author(s) 2016K. Qureshi, Marital Breakdown among British Asians, DOI 10.1057/978-1-137-57047-5

A Abuse . See Domestic abuse Adultery . See Infi delity Affi nes . See In-laws Agency , 9, 22, 159–60, 273–4,

307–9 . See also Children, Empowerment, Gender equality, Gender inequality, Women’s rights

Ahmad, F. , 8, 21–2, 80, 220, 224, 255 Ahmad, I. , 8, 27, 216 Alim . See Ulema Allan, G., et al. , 19, 281, 284, 289 Amos, V., and Parmar, P. , 8, 307 Arranged love marriages , 12, 243–4,

256 Arranged marriages , 12–13, 22–3,

30, 31, 69, 85, 87–9, 92–4, 103–4, 116, 119, 123, 135,

243–4, 300 . See also Biradari, Family mediation

arranged love marriages , 243–4 associated with forced marriage , 7–8,

69, 80, 89, 102, 108, 120, 249 choice of spouse within , 12–13,

243–61, 293–6 courtship in , 89, 94, 244 defi nition , 22 intermediaries in , 170, 189, 255 love in , 12–13, 61, 88–93, 234–5,

261–3 marriage market , 224–5, 232,

236–7, 240, 264, 268, 304 preference for , 22–3, 144, 234–7,

243–68, 293–6 Aura, S. , 8, 231, 239, 272 Austerity , 21, 192 Authoritarian family , 2, 300

Index

316 Index

B Bano, S. , 7–8, 26, 102, 105, 124,

158–60, 167, 171–3, 186 Barristers , 193, 209 Beck-Gernsheim E. , 6–7, 9, 94, 263,

267, 271 Benefi ts . See Welfare Berthoud, R. , viii, 2–5, 7, 305 Biradari , 23–4, 26, 32, 43, 50, 77,

110–12, 114, 118–19, 124, 143, 218, 223, 246, 251, 261–4, 293, 296, 304–5 . See also Patrilineality

defi nition , 23, 110 endogamy , 50, 293, 296, 304–5 exogamy , 103 family cultures and , 110–12, 134–5 moral pressure of , 88, 118, 121,

135–6, 205, 223, 249–51 politics , 124

Black magic , 71, 145–6, 247, 249 Blood , 16–17, 19, 32, 232, 283,

286–93, 296–7, 304 Bogus husband . See Immigration law Bourdieu, P. , 16, 116 Bowen, J. , 160, 171–2, 186 Boyfriend . See Dating, Premarital

relationships Breadwinner . See Gender roles

C CAFCASS , 190, 194, 197–8,

203–4 Carsten, J. , 17, 231 Caste . See Biradari Census , xi, 3–5 Charsley K. , 24–5, 27, 76, 81, 83,

87–8, 92–3, 188, 244–5, 254

Child maintenance , 173, 195, 274 . See also Gender roles

Children , 4, 7–9, 28, 31–2, 47–50, 55–6, 62, 65, 71, 75–6, 82, 84, 86, 120, 129–36, 141, 144, 146–8, 171, 190–1, 222, 225, 273, 1719 . See also Lone parenthood, New kinship

adult children of divorce , 8, 28, 272, 295

agency of , 233, 273–97 contact , 18, 31–2, 66, 123,

171–2, 177–8, 190–210, 271–85, 287–8, 293–7, 300, 305 . See Islamic norms for child contact post-divorce

impact of marital breakdown on , 48, 52, 130–2, 133–4, 146–7, 168, 173–5, 178, 190–210, 217–27, 257, 263, 271–97, 300, 304

moral etiquette about , 277, 280, 295

remarrying for the sake of the , 222–7

residence , 24, 47, 89, 91–2, 112, 172, 189–91, 193, 195, 259, 273, 275, 291

as a source of strength , 47–8, 146–7, 218–27, 232–7, 273–80

Choice , 6, 9, 12, 18, 30–1, 31, 87, 89, 121, 159, 215, 224, 229, 231, 239, 243–68, 261, 271, 273, 281, 300–1, 305–9

Chronic illness . See Health Civil divorce , 16, 115–17, 156–7,

165–7, 180

Index 317

Civil registration . See Unregistered Islamic marriages

Clarke, M. , 19, 175, 181, 304 Class , 8, 12, 14, 23, 81, 101, 156,

165, 173, 179, 251, 281, 300, 303

middle-class , 8, 12, 22, 93, 196, 281, 287, 295

working-class , 1–2, 18–25, 32, 73, 76, 78, 94, 101, 104, 123, 136, 149, 164, 186, 193, 196, 199, 201–2, 209, 267, 271, 273, 275, 281, 283, 286, 287, 295–6, 301

Close-kin marriage . See Cousin marriage

Cohabitation , 11, 73, 78–9, 165, 259 . See Premarital relationships

Colonial infl uence . See Post-colonial Commitment , 11, 30, 70, 73–9,

105, 113, 120, 140–1, 200–2, 207, 224, 231–2, 259, 264, 275–6

Community-level debate , ix, 1–2 Compatibility , 69, 146–7, 245, 250,

255–7, 267 Conjugal home . See In-laws Conjugality , 10–13, 32, 92, 300–2,

305 defi nition , 10 in Euro-American societies , 14,

23–4, 239 history of , 10–11 in South Asia , 8, 12–13, 22, 69, 88,

92, 103, 157, 221, 231, 302 Conjugal roles . See Gender roles Conservative family , 2, 123, 135,

177

Conservative party , 3 Court , 14, 22, 31, 62, 123, 159–61,

166–7, 185–210, 233–4, 272–76

Courtship . See Dating Cousin marriage , 22–3, 57, 72–3,

76, 78, 80, 89, 105, 108, 111, 112, 116–19, 130–1, 135–6, 140–1, 146–7, 164, 167, 196, 218, 229, 246, 251, 254, 286 . See also Family mediation, Vato-sata

Cox’s Bill , 171 Custody . See Children

D Das, C. , 8, 272, 295 Data archiving , ix Dating

courtship after marriage , 89 halal dating , 22, 224, 255–8 Muslim marriage events , 224

Deep acting , 62 Deep knowing , 11, 61, 140, 147, 279 Depression . See Health de Sousa Santos B. , 14, 172, 186,

188, 209, 303 Divorce . See Civil divorce, Faskh,

Khula, Talaaq stigma of , vii–ix, 106–7, 132,

216, 228–9, 236–7, 240, 264, 300

Doatee . See Vato-sata Domestic abuse , 79–80, 84–5, 86,

158, 159, 263 Domestic fi nance . See Commitment,

Employment, Financial problems

318 Index

Domestic violence . See Domestic abuse

Dresch, P. , 15–16, 116, 119, 124, 302

E East London , vii–viii, 19–24, 27, 29 Economic violence . See Financial

problems Education , 21, 56, 78, 115, 189,

216, 226–7, 238, 277 Eglar Z. , 23, 72, 103, 111, 117 Employment , 21, 76, 78, 81, 216,

238 incapacity , 187 informal , 76 unemployment , 76

Empowerment , 70, 187–94, 201, 216, 222, 227, 234, 276–7, 307

Estrangements , 129–32, 135–6, 149–51, 201–2

Ethics . See Morality, Research ethics Ethnographic fi eldwork , 25–9, 45,

67, 102–3, 158–60, 303 Extra-marital aff airs . See infi delity

F Family mediation , 13–14, 30,

101–24, 299–300, 302–3 . See also Arranged marriage, Biradari, Love marriage

appointment of intermediaries , 102, 106, 114–17, 120, 122, 143–4

in arranged marriages , 101–24

discouragement to divorce , 111, 113–15, 117–18, 129–31, 137–9, 205

encouragement to divorce , 105–10, 113, 168

family meetings , 102, 112 formal , 14, 101–2, 178–9,

206–10 in legal cases , 186–210 in love marriages , 119–24, 143–4,

168–9, 205 parental refuge , 13, 102–24 refuge from brothers , 107,

113–14, 117–18, 129, 136–9, 228–9, 255

Faskh defi nition , 156, 172–3

Feminism , 8–9, 29, 102, 158–9, 220, 307–8

Financial crisis, the , 21, 76 Financial problems , 59, 62–3, 73–9,

105, 113, 140–1, 173–5, 227 . See also Commitment

Finch, J., and Mason, J. , 17, 124 Forced marriage , 7–8, 69, 80, 89,

102, 108, 120, 249 Fourth National Survey of Ethnic

Minorities , 2–4 Friendship , 23, 31, 229–40, 305,

307

G Gabb, J. , 13, 29, 51, 86, 92, 149,

302 Gay and lesbian , 17, 232 Gender division of labour . See

Gender roles

Index 319

Gender equality , 13, 157 Gender inequality , 8–9, 300, 307 Gender roles , 11

breadwinner , 73, 77–8 childcare , 135–6, 149, 219, 282,

296, 300 father’s role , 195, 200, 288 head of the household , 10–11,

84–5, 142–3 housework , 76, 90–1, 133, 136,

142–3, 170, 188–9, 227, 257, 264

kin-keeping , 238 maternal role , 238 mobility restraints , 84, 219, 230 protection , 220–7 provider , 59, 62–3, 76–9, 105,

113, 121–2, 173–80, 195, 256–7, 273–6, 280–2, 308–9

Generational change , 5–13, 32, 52, 67–95, 196, 228, 249, 299–300, 305–8

Ghar jawai , 81 Giddens, A. , 5–6, 9, 11, 94, 306, 308 Gill, A. , 26, 80, 83, 89, 186, 200,

221, 272 Girlfriend . See Dating, Premarital

relationships Gold . See Haq mahr Grillo R. , 8–9, 158 Grover, S. , 12–13, 89, 104, 119,

123–4, 164, 245, 267, 301

H Halal dating , 22, 224, 255–8 Half-siblings , 290, 292–3 Haq mahr , 173–4, 186

Harriss, J. , 257, 266, 268 Health , viii, 225

depression , 46–7, 79–80, 218–19, 225–6, 234–6, 238, 261

psychosis , 79–80, 129–30, 225–6, 234–5, 238, 247

Hobson’s choice , 7, 9, 32, 305 House . See Matrimonial property

I Ideal husband , 76 Ideal wife/woman , 9 Ill-health . See Health Illness . See Health Imam . See Ulema Immigration , 9, 20–1, 25, 27, 31,

72, 80–2, 116, 157, 202, 209, 224, 264–5, 296, 300 . See also Transnational marriage

Immigration law , 49, 82, 265 Indefi nite Leave to Remain . See

Immigration law India , 3–4, 7–8, 12–13, 91, 232,

258, 266, 272, 288 Individualization , 5–9, 231–2, 267,

271, 305–6 Infi delity , 30, 51, 70, 85–8 Inheritance , 289–92 In-laws , 13, 27, 82–4, 104, 176,

244, 247 Interlegality , 14, 172, 186, 188, 190,

209 Interviews , xi, 25–9, 46–67, 80, 84,

102, 108, 110, 134, 158–61, 170, 188, 218, 223, 239, 273–4, 281

320 Index

Intimacy , 6, 11–13, 75, 81–2, 87–8, 91–5, 121–2, 129, 130, 146, 150, 244, 255, 267, 301–2 . See also Conjugality

defi nition , 11–12, 89 within marriage , 95 within remarriage , 121, 242–68,

300–2 sexual . See Sex

Islamic norms for child contact post-divorce , 158, 171, 190, 271, 275

Islamic norms for marriage , 77–8, 107–8, 109, 177–8, 215–16

Izzat . See Respectability

J Jadu . See Black magic James, D. , 44–5, 55, 66 Jamieson, L. , 11–12, 61–2, 75, 89,

140, 216, 238–9 Jeff ery, P. , 8, 103–4 Jewellery . See Haq mahr Johnson-Hanks, J. , 244, 259, 267,

295 Joint family living , 24, 89, 92, 106,

135–6, 227–8, 302 Judge , 119, 156, 162, 178, 189–94,

197, 199, 203–10, 276

K Keeping the name . See Nikaah Khula or Khul , 107–8, 146–7,

150–1, 156, 164–81, 260 defi nition , 156

Kinscript , 119, 123–4, 144

Kinship support . See Family mediation

L Labour market , 128–9 Langhamer, C. , 10–11, 301 Legal aid , 21, 192, 196, 199, 201–2,

209 Legal consciousness , 187, 209 Legalism , 15–16, 30, 116–19,

123–4, 156, 302–3 Legal pluralism , 13–16, 30, 155,

157, 185, 300, 302–3 classic legal pluralism , 155 new legal pluralism , 14, 200, 209

Lemons, K. , 160, 180–1 Lewis, J. , 11, 73, 191 Liversage, A. , 8, 83, 87, 188, 224–5,

254 Living apart together , 234–5, 259,

261 . See Premarital relationships

Living together separately , 129–32, 149–51 . See Estrangements

Lone parenthood , 3, 69 lone father , 232–4, 273, 279–80 lone mother , 7, 120, 134, 272

Love , 10–13, 22, 30, 52, 53, 62, 72, 77, 78, 88–94, 228–9, 233 . See also Conjugality, Intimacy

material need, and , 10–13, 75, 78–9, 112–13, 121–2, 201–2, 301–2

Love-come-arranged marriages . See Arranged love marriages

Love marriages , 22, 30, 93–4, 119–23, 143, 243–44, 256,

Index 321

266, 267 . See also Cohabitation, Family mediation, Living apart together, Premarital relationships

defi nition , 22 inter- biradari , 77, 143–6, 246–9 interethnic , 27 inter-religious , 258–60 love in , 12–13, 93–4, 143–6 negotiations with parents , 228 opposition to , 12, 93–4, 119–24,

143–6, 243–68 self-arranged , 243–4

M Mahmood, S. , 159, 307 Mahr . See Haq mahr Mand, K. , 128–9, 149, 222, 226 Marital home . See In-laws Marital therapy , 70 . See also Family

mediation Matchmaking . See Arranged

marriage, Dating Matrifocality , 149–50 Matrilateral asymmetry , 24, 129, 135 Matrimonial property , 47, 120, 131,

140–1, 165, 171–2, 188–94, 216, 218, 229, 263–4, 281–2, 291–2

Merry, S.E. , 14, 155, 186–7, 200, 204, 209–10, 302–3

Mody, P. , 12, 88, 119 Morality , 19, 155 Mothers-in-law . See In-laws Muslim marriage events , 224

N Narrative genres , 67, 108

heroic , 53–4 nostalgic , 77 realist , 61, 67, 140, 143 romantic , 108, 218 victimhood , 61–2, 66, 67, 93,

218 Narratives , 27–9, 43–8, 51, 53, 55,

57, 65–7, 69–73, 80, 87, 93–5, 108, 129, 160, 188, 221–2

Natal family , 62, 107, 109–10, 132, 136, 138, 150, 225, 228–9, 237–8 . See also Matrilateral asymmetry

Neale, B. , 18, 79, 195, 200, 216, 219, 222, 272, 274, 276–7, 306

New kinship , 16–19, 31–2, 45, 271, 287, 296–7, 300, 304–5

Nikaah , 48, 89, 132, 137–8, 163, 165, 167–70, 173, 186, 194, 252–3, 256, 259–61, 300

importance of , 132–9, 163–4, 253–61

O Offi ce for National Statistics , x–xi,

3–5, 20

P Pakistan . See Immigration,

Transnational family, Transnational marriage

322 Index

Patrilineality , 19, 23–4, 92, 136, 228, 288, 289, 293, 297, 304

Patrilocality , 24, 103 . See also Matrilateral asymmetry

Pearl, D., and Menski, W. , 139, 157–8, 168, 179, 185–6

Pessar, P., and Mahler S. , 240, 245, 264, 268

Peterborough , viii–ix, 19–21, 23, 27, 29

Pir . See Spiritual mentors Police , 28, 60–1, 80, 113–14, 116,

118, 164–5, 191–2, 202, 205, 210, 220, 263

Polygamy , 88 Post-colonial , 14, 307 Post-divorce families , 18–19, 271,

281, 286, 288, 289, 296, 300, 304 . See also New kinship

Premarital relationships , 188–90, 233–4, 245–61, 287–8

Property . See Matrimonial property Provider . See Gender roles

Q Quarterly Labour Force Survey , x–xi,

3–5, 128 Queer . See Gay and lesbian Qureshi, K. , 3, 20, 25, 47–8, 92,

228, 244–5, 252, 306

R Race , 73, 80, 81, 300 Reconciliation , ix, 30, 122, 133,

139, 149, 158, 162, 164, 169, 187, 194, 202, 206, 210

Refuge . See Women’s refuge Registration of marriage . See

Unregistered Islamic marriages Relationship counselling . See Marital

therapy, Family mediation Religious mediation . See Sharia,

Sharia bodies in mosques, Sharia councils, Spiritual mentors

Remarriage , 31, 189, 191–2, 215–16, 224, 225, 228, 232, 237–9, 243–68, 273, 300, 301, 304, 307

Remittances , 234 Repartnering . See Remarriage Reputation . See Respectability Research ethics , 26 Residence . See Children Respectability , 10–11, 19, 85, 90, 92,

111, 115–16, 122, 143, 177, 202, 218, 226, 229, 260, 289

Ribbens McCarthy, J. et al. , 19, 275, 281, 283, 287

Risk , 113, 179, 193, 204, 207, 209, 221, 257, 266

Roseneil, S. , 64, 216, 231–2, 239, 259, 304

Rytter, M. , 25, 244, 254, 267, 295

S Sabar , 48, 53, 58, 110, 129, 134,

235, 299 Second marriage . See Remarriage Self-representing , 197, 201–10 Separation , 2, 3, 6, 89, 95, 123,

128–9, 132–9, 149, 173, 176, 231, 250–1, 255

Index 323

Sex , 12, 84–6, 87, 94, 221, 263 double standards , 260 before marriage , 12, 94, 233–4,

251–4, 260–1 within marriage , 8–9, 12, 30,

51–5, 85–8, 90, 130–2, 139, 142, 262–3

rape , 85 vulnerability , 83, 119, 201, 216,

227, 232, 267 on the wedding night , 89, 121

Shah-Kazemi, S. , 7–8, 26, 102, 158, 167, 172, 216

Sham marriage . See Immigration law

Sharia , 8, 15–16, 26, 28, 30–1, 155–81, 185–6, 209

defi nition , 155–6 sharia bodies in mosques , 28 sharia councils , 8, 26, 28, 30–1,

156–60, 162, 164–81, 185–6, 190, 207, 260, 263, 303

Shaw, A. , xi, 22–3, 24, 92, 146, 244–5

Simpson, B. , 17–18, 28, 45, 50–1, 53, 63–6, 216, 238, 272, 275–6, 280, 283, 289, 296, 305

Singh, R. , 13, 91, 92, 149, 302 Single father . See Lone parenthood Single mother . See Lone parenthood Sinha, R. , 7, 216, 222, 272 Sisters-in-law , 228, 302 Smart, C. , 7–9, 18, 43, 64, 70, 79,

102, 105, 193–5, 200, 216, 219, 222, 272, 274–9, 283, 296, 302, 306

Social services , 133, 192, 194, 210 . See also CAFCASS

Solicitors , 28, 45, 165, 188, 193 Spiritual mentors , 169, 179 Spiritual practices , 146, 169 . See also

Black magic Spouse visa . See Indefi nite Leave to

Remain Stacey, J. , ix, xii, 18, 149–50, 271,

283, 296, 304 Stack, C. , 119, 123–4, 227, 299 Standing on my own feet . See

Empowerment Staying single , 215–40 . See also

Remarriage Stepfamilies , 17–19, 31–2, 271–3,

280–97, 300 stepbrother , 292 stepchildren , 55, 287, 293 stepfather , 57–8, 223, 225, 284–5 stepmother , 55, 71, 284 stepsister , 289–93

Strathern M. , 17, 19, 45, 149, 272, 277, 287, 297, 304

T Taking responsibility . See

Commitment Talaaq , 27, 72, 107–8, 114–16,

133–4, 139, 147, 149–50, 151, 156, 160–9, 172, 175, 186, 188, 247

defi nition , 156, 160 Th iara, R. , 26, 80, 186, 200, 221,

272, 276 Th rowing out one’s spouse , 58–62,

81–2, 140–1, 247

324 Index

Traditional family , viii, 6, 9 Transnational family , 7, 128, 306 Transnational marriage , 8, 24–5, 30,

31, 76, 84, 92, 94–5, 105, 112, 123, 135, 245, 266

Trust , 11, 31, 57, 104, 178, 191, 193, 221, 225, 230, 244–5, 257, 264–8, 304

Twamley, K. , 12, 89, 93

U Ulema , 26, 31, 171, 177, 181, 303 Unregistered Islamic marriages , 170,

194, 210

V Vato-sata , 71–2, 117 Vatuk, S. , 8, 24, 104, 181 Violence . See Domestic abuse Visa . See Immigration law Vivieros de Castro, E. , 19,

297, 304

W Welfare , 21, 47, 74, 128–9, 133,

165, 176, 202, 203, 207, 216, 226, 238 . See also Austerity

Werbner, P. , 23, 110 Werbner, R. , 45–6, 53–4, 61, 65–7,

77, 108 Weston, K. , 17, 232, 239 Widmer, E. , 19, 281, 283, 302 Women’s refuge , 26, 28, 87, 118,

164–5 Women’s rights , 53, 104, 107, 110,

113, 116, 123, 124, 139, 158–60, 166

Work . See Employment

Y Yoyo marriage , 30, 124, 127–51,

150

Z Zever (see Haq mahr )