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Girls crave their father’s love

I am a dad with two children; the last one came on the 24th of November, 2008. They are

 both good looking boys; scoring two goals with the result been male earned me the title

the don. I also talk like a don; ask me about the sex of my child, and like a proud dad youwill hear me say ‘na boy.’ A dear friend once said that even if I attempt another football

match, the result will still be the same result.

I wish lots of the people who look at me with envy could see my heart; they will likely be

surprised that deep inside I desire a female child. When my wife got pregnant with our 

first child, I prayed that it’ll be a girl. I tell anyone that will care to hear that I desire a

female child as the first, many of the guys that heard me thought that I was crazy. One of the reasons I have for this may be because my younger sister seems to be more concern

about her older brothers than the male for our self and even for her. I also observed that

my aged grand dad died in our home and not in the house of his beloved son; my mum

took care of him until he passed on to the heaven years ago though you could see clearlythat her brother was his favorite.

I think a lot about old age; I really feel that I will grow up to a good old age and I have

come to realize that many in-laws are not safe in the hands of their daughter in-law. The

reality is that, it’s only very few wives that will treat their in-laws like their own parents.

However, I have left the scoring to couples who still want to keep procreating for now jare.

I wish all prayers are answer; I will now have a daughter as the first child and a son as thesecond. However, whether by design, chromosome distribution by me or by a force

 beyond my control that has given me what I want (children) despite the fact that I had nocontrol on their sex, I sure am grateful that I am blessed with them.

The story that I heard a lady tell really shows the heart desire of many children (female);

they grave for the love of their father dearly. I heard a lady talk about her growing upyears; her dad was never around and she can remember years back how he will walk into

the house in some occasion practically taking up a fight with her mother that she wasn’t

fit to be his wife because of inability to give him a son. It generated so much argument

that afterwards he would storm out of the house not showing up for the next two days.Her mum later discovered that he was having an affair with a younger lady with the goal

of having a son. Fortunately for her mum, she didn’t get pregnant until the relationship

 between them came to an end.

Her mum eventually got pregnant after two children, but her dad never seems to care

about her all through the period that she was pregnant. His reason was that she wascarrying another female child; it was when she gave birth and it turned out to be his much

desire child (son) that things between him and her mum improved. However, the same

can’t be said for her and her other sisters. Her father treated them like second class

citizens in their home; he rarely attends to them, even when he does, it was with the

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feeling of been disturbed. Her brother’s case was different, he was a spoilt brat; her dad

 practically spoilt him with gifts and give him all that he desires.

It took the intervention of his family members and friends before he decided to pay for 

their university tuition fees; according to him, why pay so much on a child that will end

up in another man’s house. Today her and sister are both graduates, with good jobs andmarried. Her brother however, has dropped out of two universities because of his poor 

grades; he was able to come out with a lower credit in the Polytechnic he eventually

gained admission into after her dad paid so much money for him to be admitted. The sadnews is that her brother has been declared wanted by the police for the number of debts

he owed in the business dealings he got into; her dad is heart broken by the way his son

 behaves and doesn’t know his where about till date.

Though her dad never said in clear terms that he was sorry for the way he treated her and

her sister, yet she could sense it in his words and behavior towards them. She finds it

difficult to even relate with him; so much has happened in their growing up years that she

is finding difficult to let go. She however, is doing her best for her parents to be takencared of at their old age.

What will have happened if all of my children are female? I would have loved them with

all of my heart; I hold an opinion that comes from my Christian believe that everyone

was born for a purpose and it’s by a deliberate act of the Supreme Being that everyone

came into existence. It’s the fulfillment of purpose that gives you a name that will outliveyou and not posterity that lots of men consider as the key.

To men reading this article, there is a need to stop stigmatizing your female children; theycrave for a fatherly care and love than you can ever imagine. They need your attention;

no lady will be expressive to her estranged father at his old age, it’s time that you take a

u-turn in your behavior to them. Remember that they are a blessing from God that someare craving for because years after marriage they are still childless.

Olufemi Fasanya

relationshipmatters@gmail.com, 08037257479, 08083906405