Gilmore Girls: "Public Displays"

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Transcript of Gilmore Girls: "Public Displays"

Gilmore Girls Public Displaysby T. Alex Miller

T. Alex Miller 5916 N. Las Virgenes Rd., #679 Calabasas, CA 91302 818-880-8761

FADE IN: EXT-MORNING-SIDEWALK OUTSIDE LUKES COFFEE SHOP LORELAI No, Im sorry my dear, Lynyrd Skynyrd is NOT a country band. RORY But cmon: Sweet Home Alabama? What could be more country than that? (affecting Southern accent) Carry me home ta see ma kin. LORELAI One song about the south does not a country band make. Lynyrd Skynyrd was, and actually still is -- if you discount the fact that most of the band members are dead -- a country rock band, not a country band. RORY Oh, important distinction. Excuse me. Its like confusing The Cure with The Fixx. LORELAI Exactly. Or Journey with Boston ... RORY Elvis Costello with Joe Jackson ... LORELAI Now hey, big difference there! RORY The Cure, The Fixx ... LORELAI Bagels and bialis ... RORY Whats a biali? LORELAI Like a dusty bagel without a hole.

(CONTINUED)

2. CONTINUED: Fabulous. INT-MORNING-LUKES They enter the coffee shop where LUKE is in his morning rush frenzy, compounded by the fact that an ATTRACTIVE YOUNG WOMAN is taking pictures of him as he works. LUKE (off their incredulous looks) Dont ask. LORELAI I have to ask. LUKE Im telling you, dont ask! RORY We must know! LORELAI Cmon Luke, whats going on? Whos Annie Leibowitz over here? RORY Did you win the Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes or something? JOHN STOCKTON, late 20s, appears behind them. JOHN You ladies of Stars Hollow just dont realize what a treasure you have here in Mr. Danes and his bistro. LORELAI Mr. Danes? Bistro? JOHN Hi, John Stockton, Hartford Courant. RORY Oh, hey, youre the color feature guy! Cool. The what? (CONTINUED) LORELAI RORY

3. CONTINUED: RORY Color features. Every Sunday. A different story about something cool or off the beaten track in New England. Great stuff. (to JOHN) You write with a certain whimsy thats as stylized as it is lugubrious. (off Lorelais look) Pariss description. JOHN Ah, an adoring fan, I think. Im really warming to this town. And this is Mitzi, my partner, my eyes, if you will. MITZI is adjusting Lukes baseball cap, fussing over his appearance. Hes tolerating it. She breaks off when introduced. RORY (shaking Mitzis hand) I will. Nice to meet you. LORELAI (cooly) Nice to meet you ... Mitzi. MITZI Usually its a big hassle photographing a guy who refuses to take off his hat, but since Luke wears his backwards, his scruffy cuteness can shine forth, like a beacon. LORELAI Oh, hey, well Beacon Boy, tell us about the PR agent who set this up for you. LUKE Not now Lorelai. Still gotta make the donuts. And hes off, with Mitzi in hot pursuit snapping away. Rory follows. Lorelai sits, John joins her.

(CONTINUED)

4. CONTINUED: JOHN Actually, this weeks piece was supposed to be about an old woman in Darien who makes terra cotta lawn gnomes based on Star Wars characters. LORELAI Good grief. JOHN But she broke her hip. Oh, sad. JOHN Yeah. So is Luke a friend of yours? LORELAI You could say that. JOHN Could I say were friends? LORELAI (a bit surprised) You could say Ive known you for, like, 34 seconds. 40 now. Goody. 45 LORELAI Stop that. And stop taking notes. JOHN What? Its my job. By next week, Lukes business will have tripled. LORELAI Im not so sure thats a good thing. But hey, just dont tell him about the, the lady in Milford with the broken leg and the elves. (CONTINUED) JOHN LORELAI JOHN LORELAI

5. CONTINUED: (2) JOHN Darien. Hip. Gnomes. LORELAI Whatever. Although that wouldnt be a bad name for a lounge act: The Hip Gnomes. (off the appearance of JESS) Uh oh. What? Nothing. She GESTURES FRANTICALLY to Rory, who QUICKLY MOVES TO HEAD JESS OFF. She gives him a peck on the cheek. RORY Hey, you, man. Walk, now. JESS Uh, OK, woman. Me go. Rory leads him out the door. JOHN What was all that about? LORELAI Oh, um, young love or something. JOHN (suspiciously) Really? LORELAI Dont be deceived, Mr. Lugubrious. This towns more complex than you think. (off her empty cup) Must ... have ... coffee! (off Lukes preoccupation with Mitzi) ...and the service here stinks. Uh, I mean, not usually, but Lukes not used to being treated like a swimsuit model. She rises and crosses to counter with John in tow. LORELAI JOHN

(CONTINUED)

6. CONTINUED: (3) JOHN Please dont call me Mr. Lugubrious. SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES END OF TEASER

(CONTINUED)

7. CONTINUED:

ACT ONE EXT./EST. STARS HOLLOW TOWN SQUARE - MORNING We find RORY and JESS walking JESS So what was all that about? RORY Lukes being interviewed by the newspaper. JESS Really? What, is he in trouble or something? Cool. RORY No, Jess, hes not in trouble. Its a good thing. Its going to be a story in the Courant about how Lukes is, yknow, like a hidden gem or something. A place you should visit for coffee while youre antiquing on the weekend. JESS Im not comfortable with antique being perverted into a verb. RORY I dont like it either. But it is what it is. JESS (realization sinks in) Ahhhh ... and you hustled me out of there before I could say something awful and ruin my uncles 15 minutes of fame. RORY Guilty as charged. JESS You know, I do have some discretion. (off her skeptical look) But, OK, it might have been ... (MORE) (CONTINUED)

8. CONTINUED: JESS (CONT'D) difficult for me to, yknow, not um ... RORY ...make some really biting, sarcastic comments that would make readers of the Hartford Courant think Luke is some kind of fraud and Stars Hollow a hotbed of malcontents? JESS Always assuming the worst. (beat) Why are you here? RORY Well, Stars Hollow is home, Im not 18 yet, still love my mom ... JESS No, not that. I mean here, with me. The malcontent. RORY Oh. Ah. That question. JESS Yes, that question. RORY The ol why do you like me? Yes. RORY Or, more to the point, do you like me. Maybe. Probably. Well? Well what? JESS Dont be coy. (CONTINUED) RORY JESS RORY JESS JESS

9. CONTINUED: (2) RORY I must be coy. Im a girl. (off his look) OK, Im sorry. (deep breath, then quickly) I do like you, Jess. A lot. But I dont understand why you are like you are. I think I get where your anger comes from with your whole family situation, but I dont get the, the constant shoulder chip thing, like whoever happens to be around you is somehow partly responsible for whatever, your unhappy childhood or your painful transition to adulthood. JESS Wow. Youve thought about this. This is like a topic for you. RORY Well, yeah. Im dating you and I care about you and I dont understand you and I dont exactly understand why I like you but I do and I think you like me and so here I am just babbling away hoping somehow this makes some kind of sense. JESS It does. I think. Ill bet Im a little tougher than Dean to figure out. RORY Well, there is the theory long held by women that all men are nuts. JESS On the guy side, theres some thinking along those lines about women. So ... about Dean? RORY What about Dean? JESS Are you over him? RORY Oh, that one. (CONTINUED)

10. CONTINUED: (3) JESS Why do you make it sound like youve been in several hundred relationships before? RORY I have. Just vicariously through books, TV and movies. And my mom. JESS Oh, so its all old hat. Youre the pro, the ol salty dog of relationships. Thats me! JESS So answer the question, o wise and salty one. RORY Im with you now. Deans in the past. JESS So youre not over him. RORY Thats not what I said. JESS Its what you meant. RORY So you say. Is that what you want to hear, that Im not over Dean? JESS Youre not. RORY (beat) OK, Im not. Not entirely. It hasnt been that long, we were together for a while ... I knew it. RORY But Jess, that doesnt mean, it doesnt mean we cant ... (MORE) (CONTINUED) JESS RORY

11. CONTINUED: (4) RORY (CONT'D) aaagghh! Words not working! Book learning useless! JESS Its OK. I get it. I get it just fine. Hard to compete with the boy scout. Jess storms off, leaving Rory open-mouthed, standing in the middle of the square. CUT TO: INT-GILMORE MANSION-NIGHT Lorelai and Rory are being admitted by the MAID. LORELAI Hi, were the daughter and grand ... hey, you look familiar! MAID Yes. Mrs. Gilmore, shes giving me another chance. She says Im (quoting) the least inept servant shes had in years. Even though I used the wrong wood polish on the 16h century escritoire. RORY Well, who needs a perfectly burnished escritoire anyway? LORELAI Who needs an escritoire? Didnt they go out with chamber pots? EMILY enters EMILY Lorelai! Rory! Dont stand there chattering with the help, come on to dinner! She turns on her heel and disappears. LORELAI (to maid) Well, welcome back. Were pulling for you, if this is what you want.

(CONTINUED)

12. CONTINUED: RORY They probably have odds on you on the board in Vegas by now. MAID Thanks. I like a challenge. LORELAI God bless you, my child. CUT TO: INT-GILMORE MANSION DINING ROOM-MOMENTS LATER Lorelai, Rory, Emily and Richard are seated at the table eating. EMILY So, Rory, how are things at Chilton? RORY OK, if you put aside the fact that Ill never fit in until I play field hockey. RICHARD Good god, field hockey. Never a ladys sport, in my opinion. LORELAI Well, neither is luge or rugby or masonry. Masonry? RICHARD I dont get your point. LORELAI Me neither. RICHARD (confused) Well, fitting in, thats something we all deal with at, at different times in our lives. True dat. RORY EMILY

(CONTINUED)

13. CONTINUED: EMILY Yes, Richard is still trying to figure out how to fill up his days. RICHARD Isnt it amazing, us humans, always needing to be entertained, to be busy. Would that I were a house cat or a springer spaniel, happy to go from food bowl to nap and back to food bowl. LORELAI With perhaps a quick toilet slurp thrown in to liven things up. RICHARD Well, your scatological reference notwithstanding, the metaphor is apt. LORELAI (elated) Yay! I made a metaphor! RICHARD I ne