Getting Started Getting Started ““WriteWrite” in ” in

WritingWriting

Getting Started Getting Started ““WriteWrite” in ” in

WritingWritingJames Elementary Writing Plan James Elementary Writing Plan

for 3for 3rdrd and 4th 2010-2011 and 4th 2010-2011

What’s New In 2010/2011

• The Florida Writes will be scored by one scorer.

• A 4 is considered proficient instead of a 3

• No…More…MAP! For grades 2-5 will have three benchmarks that should show increases in students’ writing

scores.

2009/2010 Writing Results

• 94% of 4th graders here at James passed with a 3 or higher

• 80% of 4th graders passes with a 4 or higher

• Decrease of 5 points

Trends of 2009/2010 4th Graders

• Lack of Organization- BMME• Overuse of Dialogue• No Stamina• Frequent Misspelled-high

frequency words• Did not own any Elaboration• Not Enough?

Writer’s Workshop• Writing should occur everyday in

grades Kg-5th grade• K and 1st should have at least 30

minutes• 2nd-5th should have at least 45

minutes to 1 hour.

Crafts• Sensory Details• Specific Details• Vivid Verbs• Simile • Metaphor• Purposeful

Dialogue

• Alliteration• Purposeful Repetition• Strong Nouns• Personification• Onomatopoeia• Use of facts• Hyperbole/

Exaggeration

Attributes• -size, shape, color, number,• -temperature, location• -direction, weight, texture• -symmetry, movement• -composition, function,• -habitat, orientation, age

Sentence Variety• -dash, comma, phrase, •-semi-colon, colon, ellipsis,•-parenthesis, conjunctions,•(Length, Style, Structure)

Voice• -turn of phrase, • -humorous word choice,• -cliché, caps, bold text,• -ellipsis, word choice, • -dialogue, thoughtshot,• -parenthesis or dash to add• Opinion or sidebar idea• -slang, hyperbole,• -hyphenate to s-p-e-l-l

Transitions• -time, connections, events• -setting, cause & effect,• -comparisons, differences,• -alternatives, emphasis,• -location, direction

How to get Started Teachers will have a 1st- 10 days

of schools format.

We will introduce elaboration

descriptions along with crafts.

What is Elaboration? Elaboration is the only way for

students to hit a solid “4”. Elaboration is when a student

takes a “seed” moment and stretches it to paint a picture it in the readers’ mind.

What We SawWhat We SawWhat We SawWhat We Saw

Bare BoneThis is when the students stays on topic

but not enough details

Example:

Today the principal said she will be picking the 4th graders to make lunch for the school. If we do bad we will have to do a lot of pencil and paper work. The principal called on the intercom and said you guys are responsible for lunch. We said ok and we started to cook. It was good.

ExtensionsThis is when the student just starts listing

ideas

Example: This story is about a principal who gave

permission for the 4th graders to make lunch for the whole school. I will bring a lot of stuff like cookies, chips, and pizza. For the teachers I will make chicken, popcorn, ribs, and icecream sundaes. I will bring so much stuff that I will be broke for a week.

Layered ElaborationThe student starts to elaborate then veers

off the main idea

Example: I was making lunch for the whole school. I will

make sure it is delicious and good. First I need the menu ready: Mac-n-cheese, spaghetti and mixed vegetables. I sniffed the aroma and it was fantastic. The line came and it was as long as a boa constrictor. A boy tried to skip the line and I said, “No skipping”. For dessert I will serve Jell-O cubes. Yummy! Everyone said they enjoyed the delicious food. They asked who made it and I said it was me. I told them I had a secret recipe for the spaghetti ( my own special sauce.)

ElaborationThe student included: addition details

using different types of Elaboration Descriptions

Example: We decided to make pizza. First we must rolled the dough into a

perfect circle. Then we must spread the spicy tomatoes sauce on the dough. I dipped my finger in the sauce to make sure it wasn’t too spicy. Next we chop up all the vegetables: mushrooms, onions, red and green peppers. While we are chopping the vegetables, we have to make sure we preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Opps! I forgot the cheese. I pulled the block of mozzarella out of the huge cafeteria refrigerator and shredded the cheese into tiny pieces. I carefully picked up the wiggly pieces of cheese and sprinkled it evenly all of the pizza making sure that every area was covered. I placed the pizza into the oven and set the timer on twenty minutes. Walla! The perfect pizza. The students are going to love it!

Types of ElaborationTypes of ElaborationTypes of ElaborationTypes of Elaboration

What is a “Seed” Moment

When we look at writing this year, we will look at a topic as a watermelon. We will teach the students to make the moment smaller,” a seed”. Thus, having elaboration!!!

•Character Descriptions•Moment/Action Description•Setting Description•Object Description•Emotion Description•Anecdotes•How-to’s

Character Description A character description is

when the writer, paints a picture of that character including: their appearance and actions they do.

Example of Character Description

Sandy Koufax had pitched that perfect game in1965.A perfect game. No runs, no hits, no errors. Each hittercame to the plate, swung, and struck out, one afteranother until the game was won. Sandy had pitched fourcareer no hitters. He led the National League in shutoutsthree times, in strikeouts four times, in wins three times.He made six All-Star appearances, won the NationalLeague Most Valuable Player Award in 1963, was WorldSeries MVP twice – once in 1963 and again in thatgolden year of 1965’s perfect game.From The Aurora County All-Stars by Deborah Wiles page 77

What Crafts Do You See?

Sandy Koufax had pitched that perfect game in1965.A perfect game. No runs, no hits, no errors. Each hittercame to the plate, swung, and struck out, one afteranother until the game was won. Sandy had pitched fourcareer no hitters. He led the National League in shutoutsthree times, in strikeouts four times, in wins three times.He made six All-Star appearances, won the NationalLeague Most Valuable Player Award in 1963, was WorldSeries MVP twice – once in 1963 and again in thatgolden year of 1965’s perfect game.From The Aurora County All-Stars by Deborah Wiles page 77

Specific DetailsSpecific DetailsSpecific DetailsSpecific Details

Moment/Action Description

The ability to EXPLODE A MOMENT by manipulating words or phrases to develop and support the main idea. The ability to take a “seed” moment and tell everything that is happening. That moment could be 5 minutes or as little a 5 seconds!!!

Example of a Moment/Action

Description It took ten seconds to set up

the lemonade stand. Evan unfolded the chairs and set one on each side of the cooler. Scott tilted the sign toward the street for maximum effect. Then they both sat down.

Man, it is hot," said Evan. He took off hisbaseball cap and wiped the sweat from hisface with his shirt. Then he grabbed an icecube from the cooler, balanced it on hishead, and stuck his cap back on."Yeah," saidScott. "I'm thirsty." He reached into the

paper bagand pulled out a cup. It was one of those

large red plastic cups thatvendors use at professional baseball games.

Then Scott took one of the pitchersfrom the cooler and filled the cup tothe brim with lemonade."Hey, not somuch," said Evan, pouring himself a

cup,too, but only partway. He glugged downhalf his drink. Not bad, he thought.The Lemonade War by Jacqueline Davies page 29

Example of a Moment/Action

Description It took ten seconds to set up

the lemonade stand. Evan unfolded the chairs and set one on each side of the cooler. Scott tilted the sign toward the street for maximum effect. Then they both sat down.

Man, it is hot," said Evan. He took off hisbaseball cap and wiped the sweat from hisface with his shirt. Then he grabbed an icecube from the cooler, balanced it on hishead, and stuck his cap back on."Yeah,"

saidScott. "I'm thirsty." He reached into thepaper bag and pulled out a cup. It was one

of those large red plastic cups thatvendors use at professional baseball games.

Then Scott took one of the pitchersfrom the cooler and filled the cup tothe brim with lemonade."Hey, not somuch," said Evan, pouring himself a

cup,too, but only partway. He glugged downhalf his drink. Not bad, he thought.The Lemonade War by Jacqueline Davies page 29

Vivid VerbsVivid VerbsVivid VerbsVivid Verbs

This craft made this one This craft made this one moment a movie in the readers’ moment a movie in the readers’

mind.mind.

Setting Description

This type of elaboration allows the reader to visualize the scenery that the writer is trying to create.

Emmy walked quickly down the narrow alley, Herfootsteps echoing off the walls that rose on eitherSide of her like a canyon of sooty brick. A smell ofoverripe fruit and spoiled meat curled up from theBrimming trash cans. But then there was light again,and a central triangle of patchy grass like a littlepark, and a wonderful maze of backstreets that shehad never seen before, crammed with shops.

Emmy gazed around, delighted. Miss Barmy hadonly taken her to stores where mannequins woreexpensive suits and jewelers spoke in quiet voicesover glass countertops. These shops were–wellshabbier, but they looked a lot more interesting.She wandered by a candy store, its window filledWith colorful jars– peppermints, gumdrops,chocolate nibbles, all packed full of sugar, and not atofu bar in sight!

From Emmy and the Incredible Shrinking Rat by Lynne Jonell page 28 - 29

Sensory DetailsSensory DetailsSensory DetailsSensory Details

This passage is great for what This passage is great for what the character sees, hear, and the character sees, hear, and

tastetaste

Emmy walked quickly down the narrow alley, Herfootsteps echoing off the walls that rose on eitherSide of her like a canyon of sooty brick. A smell ofoverripe fruit and spoiled meat curled up from theBrimming trash cans. But then there was light

again,and a central triangle of patchy grass like a littlepark, and a wonderful maze of backstreets that

shehad never seen before, crammed with shops.

Emmy gazed around, delighted. Miss Barmy hadonly taken her to stores where mannequins woreexpensive suits and jewelers spoke in quiet voicesover glass countertops. These shops were–wellshabbier, but they looked a lot more interesting.She wandered by a candy store, its window filledWith colorful jars– peppermints, gumdrops,chocolate nibbles, all packed full of sugar, and not

atofu bar in sight!

From Emmy and the Incredible Shrinking Rat by Lynne Jonell page 28 - 29

Object Description

This type of elaboration takes an object and describes it so the reader is able to visualize the object in their mind.

The house was half one thing, half another–white siding above and brick below. It looked heavyon the bottom. Bright green turf, like on an artificialfootball field, covered the porch and the stepsleading to the door. An American flag fluttered on apole sticking out from the front of the house.The roses stood straight–like if they got out ofline they would loose recess. The grass looked likeDad’s hair after a trip to the barber, short andperfectly trimmed around the edges…From Brendan Buckley’s Universe And Everything In It

by Sundee T. Frazier page 45-46

AttributesAttributesAttributesAttributes

This passage is great for size, This passage is great for size, shape, and symmetryshape, and symmetry

Example of Object Description

The house was half one thing, half another–white siding above and brick below. It looked heavyon the bottom. Bright green turf, like on an artificialfootball field, covered the porch and the stepsleading to the door. An American flag fluttered on apole sticking out from the front of the house.The roses stood straight–like if they got out ofline they would loose recess. The grass looked likeDad’s hair after a trip to the barber, short andperfectly trimmed around the edges…From Brendan Buckley’s Universe And Everything In It by

Sundee T. Frazier page 45-46

Emotion Description

This type of description, not only describes what the character is doing, but also how they feel.

Now Gladys is my only grandparent, because

my other grandma died right after I was born andI’ve never met my other grandpa. Mom doesn’t talkto him. Or about him, either, which makes mewonder what happened. But I guess I can’t misssomeone I’ve never ever known. The one time I asked

where he was, she bit on her lip and herforehead bunched up like when she cut her thumband had to get stitches. She just said, “Gone,” andthat we’d talk about it when I was older.So that’s the One Thing I know not to ask questions

about.From Brendan Buckley’s Universe And Everything In It

by Sundee T. Frazier page 3

Sentence VarietySentence VarietySentence VarietySentence Variety

This passage is perfect for This passage is perfect for showing commas and lengths of showing commas and lengths of

sentencessentences

Example of Emotion Description Now Gladys is my only grandparent, becausemy other grandma died right after I was born andI’ve never met my other grandpa. Mom doesn’t talkto him. Or about him, either, which makes mewonder what happened. But I guess I can’t misssomeone I’ve never ever known.The one time I asked where he was, she bit onher lip and her forehead bunched up like when shecut her thumb and had to get stitches. She just said,“Gone,” and that we’d talk about it when I was older.So that’s the One Thing I know not to ask questions about.From Brendan Buckley’s Universe And Everything In It by Sundee T.

Frazier page 3

Anecdotes An anecdote is a story

within a story. It is ideal for expository pieces because it allows the writer to tell a story after explaining the purpose of their writing.

Example of An Anecdote

The first time me and Emma talkedwas in third grade square dancing. Wewere changing into our gym shoes andEmma noticed we were both wearingtoe socks. And when we had to pickpartners, she picked me and that wasit. Best friends. "Socks sound good," I say.

Me and Dad spent the whole afternoonshopping online for socks. We order a bunchfrom this website called Sock-It-to-Me. Wegot pink ones with sparkly pigs, and someturquoise ones with crocodiles in

sunglasses,and two pairs of stripy toe socks: one for meand one for Emma. Like old times.

A Crooked Kind of Perfect by Linda Urban page 37 & 38

What crafts Did You See?

• Specific Details: third grade square dancing, gyms

shoes, toe socks, Sock-It-To-Me, pink ones with sparkling pigs, turquoise ones with crocodiles with sunglasses, two pair of stripy toe socks.

What crafts Did You See?

• Sentence Variety:

Use of comma to combined sentences, purposeful dialogue, fragmented sentences

How-To’s How-To’s is a type of

elaboration that allows the writer to tell not only step by step a process,but also sequencing. Using crafts will allow the reader to visualize each step.

The Big Fat Omelet1. Heat the butter over medium-low heat in

a 12 inch nonstick skillet while preparing the eggs and fillings. Using a fork, lightly beat the eggs with salt and pepper until whites and yolks are blended.

2. Increase the heat to medium high, swirling the butter around to completely coat the pan bottom and sides. Once the butter starts to turn golden brown and

smells nutty, add the eggs.

3. Using a plastic or wooden spatula to push back theeggs that have set, tilt the pan so that the uncookedeggs run into the empty portion of the pan. Continuepushing back cooked eggs and tilting the pan untilthe omelet top is wet but not runny, one to one andone-half minutes. Reduce the heat to low, andquickly add optional toppings over one half of theomelet. Carefully fold the remaining half over thetopped half. Partially cover the pan and cook (orbake in a 350 degree oven) until fillings are warmand eggs are set as desired, five to seven minuteslonger. Quarter and serve immediately.

From How to Cook Without a Book by Pam Anderson page 56

Jessie started to draw pictures. She knewthat other kids couldn't see the numbersthe way she did. They needed the picturesto make sense of math. "Look," she said."Here are three pitchers of lemonade, causewe've got three cans of lemonade. And eachpitcher's got sixty-four ounces in it. "Now, when we pour a cup of lemonade,we'll pour eight ounces, 'cause that's howmuch a cup holds. You don't want to pour

lessthan that, or people will say you're being acheapskate. So each pitcher is going to give

use 8 cups. 'Cause eight times eight equals sixty-four, right?

"Now, we'll sell each cup for fifty cents.That's a fair price. That means that everytime we sell two cups, we make a buck.Right? Because fifty cents plus fifty centsequals a dollar. So look. I'll circle the cupsby twos, and that's how many dollars wemake. Count 'em."

The Lemonade War by Jacqueline Davies page 55 & 56

Example of a score Example of a score “3”“3”

Example of a score Example of a score “3”“3”

What crafts did the writer What crafts did the writer owned and what can we do to owned and what can we do to make this writer a “solid” 4 or make this writer a “solid” 4 or

higherhigher

Yes! 4th grade gits to make school lunch. All of the fourth grade put on theirs aprenls and hair nets. Also all the forth grade chosen steack and bake potatos.

First I got my supply like my spachula, pan, plate, steach sauce-sweet, sour, light, delightful. Next we had to git the stuff for the bake patoes-sour crem, bacon bits, salt and peper.

Then we had to go into the dark fogy frezer. And their over 200 potoes in the frezer. Also steacks then we put both foods in diffent ovens. we put them both on 45 mintens took the steacks out because they were done first. Ding. Then they were done. After that we put on the sour crem, bacon bits, slat and peper. Then we put the A1 on the steacks.

After we did that we set the food up and then we were done they cooled off and they were Fresh. Now we have to wait on the sutents. When they arrived and got in line and put in their lunch numbers one girl with red hair, brown eye ask if she can have another steack. And we only had one more. And she ate it.

WRITERS’ WORKSHOP LESSON PLAN TEMPLATEAll lessons on based on the needs of your students. LESSON FOCUS/CRAFT TEACHING POINT: ________________________Definition/

Example:____________________________________________________________  SUNSHINE STATE STANDARDS:___________________________________________________________________________

__

MATERIALS: ____________________________________________________________________________

READ ALOUD - 5 minutes: Title: Page:  SHARED or MODELED WRITING - 10 minutes: (Teachers MUST think

aloud - model how to transfer ideas from the thought to the paper.)

Plan:        Model:________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

        •  •  •  •  •  •  •  

How to Find Lesson Plans

Writing lesson plans can now be found of the database. Steps to get on there:

1. Go on the school website2. Click district Division Tab3. Click on Curriculum and

Instruction

4. Click on LESSONS ONLINE5. This takes you to the search

page.6. Username: WRITING Password: LESSONS

Writing Trainings in the Fall

There are numerous writing trainings in the Fall. Mrs. Royal and Dr. Tate will put the dates on James Internals.

Courses offered: 2nd and 4th Rubrics training (mandatory

for 2nd and 4th grade teachers who have not been trained in the updated version)

K-2 Magic's of UnitsK-1 Everybody WritesK-5 Literature and Lessons2-5 Gone Gooney2-5 Sharpening the PencilK-5 Voice

A writer's voice is not A writer's voice is not character alone, it is not style character alone, it is not style alone; it is far more. A writer's alone; it is far more. A writer's

voice line the stroke of an voice line the stroke of an artist's brush - is the artist's brush - is the

thumbprint of her whole thumbprint of her whole person - her idea, wit, humor, person - her idea, wit, humor,

passions, rhythms. passions, rhythms.         - Patricia Lee Gauche        - Patricia Lee Gauche

A writer's voice is not A writer's voice is not character alone, it is not style character alone, it is not style alone; it is far more. A writer's alone; it is far more. A writer's

voice line the stroke of an voice line the stroke of an artist's brush - is the artist's brush - is the

thumbprint of her whole thumbprint of her whole person - her idea, wit, humor, person - her idea, wit, humor,

passions, rhythms. passions, rhythms.         - Patricia Lee Gauche        - Patricia Lee Gauche