Germanifesto - Issue 3
description
Transcript of Germanifesto - Issue 3
the germanifestoc
Contentspage 1
- Schleeep
page 2
- Editorial
page 3
- Panel Session
page 4
- Energy
page 5
- Foreign Affairs II & International
Trade
page 6
- EMA
page 7
- legal Affairs
page 8
- Agriculture &Future
page 9
- Social Affairs
page 10
-International Trade
page 11
- FA 1 and Employment I
page 12
-Dear David
page 13
-Quotes and Mayor’s Reception
page 14
-Sports Section
Thursday 18 November, 2004 47th International Session of the EYPIssue 3
INSIDEINSIDE LIFESTYLETHE SUPPLEMENT WITH STYLE
Schleeep!Schleeep!
2
ed i ted i t orialorial
the germanifesto - Thursday 18 November
So country slightly north of Germany and south of Norway. It seems you are all talk. We
waited patiently through the night for retaliation or some kind of reaction since your fi rst let-
ter. Clearly you are no match for our superior wit and our knowledge of fi ne Chilean wine.
We are now proud to announce the arrival of the third issue of the germanifesto and the
third edition of our award winning supplement, the megazine. We have literally slaved
through the night to bring you this, surviving the invading hoard of the chairs, who saw fi t
to seize our pressroom for resolution writing. How rude! Anyone would think that interna-
tional teams of young people had worked tirelessly to produce some kind of resolution to a
problem? And that as such, it should take precedence over the inane ramblings of sleep (and
sheep) depraved geniuses.
We, at the germanifesto, fi rmly believe that the lifestyle supplement is the handbook to life
that you have all been waiting for. We delve into the dark places that other supplements fear
to go and expose the netherregions of fashion dos and don’ts. Remember you are what you
wear. In which case we are a two-day old tee-shirts whose stench is only masked by haute
couture jumper.
So until next time – may the faff be with you.
EDITORIALEDITORIAL
Andrew and Ian
“They Did This!”
2
Pane lPane lSessionSession
Panel Session
the germanifesto - Thursday 18 November
by herr Prince charming and the Baron
You’ve just fi nished you’re resoul-
tion; you’re tired, you drained and
you’re desperately in need of schnit-
zel... you would not think that you’d
be in the mood for a 3 hour Panel
session but you would have been
wrong. What seemed like it could
have been long, tedious and uninter-
esting proved to be lively, original
and stimulating.
Beautiful surroundings, delightful
food (including of course Coca-cola)
and a star Panel, that could top any
Britney Spears or Robbie Williams
concert, made this evening special.
The team of speakers that we had the
pleasure of listening to had interest-
ing, strong and diverse views on the
evenings topic – “Common identity
– common will?”
Kemal Dervis was one of them, he
started his career as an Economics
undergraduate in 1969 and moved
on to receive a PhD in Econom-
ics in Princeton University in 1973
before lecturing in the Department
of Economics in the Middle Eastern
Technical University. Several years
passed and his economic career
moved from strength to strength
until he was named Vice-President
of the World Bank in 1996. After
adapting to several banking roles Mr
Dervis became Turkish Minister for
Economic Affairs and he is now a
Member of the Turkish Parliament.
In the debate Mr. Dervis highlighted
his views on the subject of the
integration of Turkey into the EU
and sighted the example of the fact
that before the European Cup fi nal
when a survey was taken in Istan-
bul it was found that the majority
of people wanted Greece to win, he
asserted that times have moved on
and that past devisions are becom-
ing less evident. Bernd Hüttemann
is Secretary General of the European
Movement Germany, previously he
was research associate at the Institut
für Europäische Politik in Berlin.
Mr. Hutteman presented his views
and policies in a manner that was
effi cient, German and beautifully
alliterated- the three F’s… football,
food and freedom. He felt that rather
than using the propaganda machine
to help integration that people should
sit wagging their tongues, playing
with balls and shoving schnitzel in
their mouths.
Dr. Ulrike Guerot is director of
foreign policy and a former Head of
the European Union Section at the
German Council on Foreign Relai-
tons. She sought to share her view
of a common vision while making
it clear that nothing is clear-cut in
Europe. Although she was presented
with the question of the UK and the
possibilty of the unifi ed EU failing
due to the UK’s departure from, she
responded decisively by assuring the
delegate that this will never, ever,
ever happen. Ever.
Dr. Klaus Scharioth is the State
Secretary of the Federal Foreign Of-
fi ce and his input into the debate was
both enthusiastic and informative.
He felt that an additional European
Identity is emerging but he also
says that, “this enlargement does
not mean that we have to forego the
deepening of integration”. He also
made the valid point that we need an
emotional investment… people need
to be proud to be part of a Europe
and support each other.
We commend Dr Ulrike Guerot on
her poise under pressure. When the
demeanor of the delegates escalated
to something like an angry mob, it
seemed the panel was being forced
to answer for confl ict in Kosovo,
violence in Chechnya, dispute in
Cyprus, and the AIDS virus. Several
delegates have a very personal con-
nection to these issues, and allowed
their passion to make them forget
where they were and what they were
doing. What should have been a fo-
rum on the unity and peaceful future
of Europe, became a sounding board
for peoples pains and division. Our
esteemed guests were visibly shaken,
but Dr Ulrike Guerot was not stirred.
In spite of the intimidation before
her, she expressed her dissapoint-
ment in the pessimism in the room,
pointing out that the positive slant
was being neglected; rather than
asking when the hurting ends, why
don’t we ask when the peace begins?
Everyone, including those who had
been passive throughout the discus-
sion gave Dr Ulrike Guerot several
rounds of applause, deservedly so.
The whole night, although somewhat
passionate was a great success.
33
by Einstein
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Energy
Laboratory work
10:01 I arrive at the laboratory, a room
with glass walls, and start gathering
information on my subjects inside. The
executive chief of the experiment is
there with me.
10:02 Room is completely re-organised
with distinct groups sitting around three
tables.
***A MEMORY GAP***
10:45 I enter the room and am wel-
comed with friendly smiles. I learn that
the three distinct groups are the three
E’s (Energy, Environment, Economy),
allowing discussion from different per-
spectives. I am impressed.
11:00 Coffee break, but the committee is
just continuing with discussion.
11:13 My third cup of coffee.
11:14 I enter the room and see Joao
(POR) writing a table.
11:16 Blerim (MKD) lying on the fl oor,
eating a pear and playing with a stick.
11:17 Jolien(BEL) singing and wander-
ing around the laboratory.
11:19 Antoine asking for a pink high-
lighter.
11:21 I notice nonsense on the board.
11:23 Antoine receives a pink pen.
11:26 Blerim and Jolien fi ghting.
11:27 Antoine gathering people into
a circle on the fl oor. An unidentifi ed
woman passes by the laboratory.
11:29 Blerim and Jolien playing with a
stick
11:31 To Antoine with love from the
committee: “Can you guide us?”, “Can
you write the resolution for us?”
11:40 Group on Energy encounters the
biomass problem.
11:45 Jakob (AUT) playing with lid of
coke bottle.
11:46 Nicholas (CHE) drinking coke.
11:47 Antoine delivering cookies.
11:48 Group on Energy puzzled by
hydrogen.
11:49 Me trying to strangle myself with
a scarf to see the reaction of the commit-
tee, but they simply keep on working.
11:51 Antoine colouring Energy-fl ower-
power-fl ag in pink, like an excitable
child.
11:52 Antoine recalling his childhood.
12:01 I hear Jakob saying: “Fear is there
to make you alive.” Nicholas adds:
“Yeah,
but it
can
also
kill
you.”
12:02
Eva
(ES)
nod-
ding
agree-
ably and looking at her cookie with
pleasure.
12:12 Antoine browsing through the
schedule.
12:13 I hear Jakob saying: “Accidents
are special cases.”
12:15 Laptop running out of battery.
12:16 Group on Economy encounters
the biomass problem.
12:16 Delegates pestering Antoine about
biomass. Antoine remains silent.
12:20 Jakob explaining biomass.
12:23 An intruder, the aforementioned
woman enters the room, asking for An-
toine (she didn’t obviously read the sign
“Authorized personnel only”).
12:24 The woman, apparently a journal-
ist, asking the committee to gather in a
circle again for a picture in a magazine
(those journalists...).
Cristina (RUS) discussing Environment-
type issues.
12:26 Blerim licking his lips.
12:27 I experienced a fl ash back of the
glorious victory in the monster race, and
a fl ash back of the horrendous accident
when Chernobyl loses his tail.
12:35 Nicholas trying to see what I am
typing.
12:40 Eva, Lucija (CRO), Nicholas and
Jakob shocked by the inescapability of
death.
12:41 Ncholas taking a sip of coke.
12:43 Hydrogen a problem for Econo-
my.
12:53 Jolien sticks her tongue out at
Blerim.
12:54 Antoine fi nishes colouring in the
fl ag.
12:55 Blerim
expected
to donate
his stick for
communal
purposes (i.e.
the fl ag).
13:32 A dis-
cussion about
Santa Claus
(yes, we do
still believe in
him).
13:36 Blerim
making me
say that cows
drink milk.
13:37 to 13:47 Maria debriefi ng the
history and the current socio-political
situation in Cyprus.
13:38 Blerim fi lming his feet.
13:38 Jolien singing.
13:39 Joao fi lming his feet!
13:50 Jacob has a theory about me: I
must be one of Santa Claus’ elf helpers.
13:55 Blerim doing acrobatics.
13:56 Jakob looking like he is about to
do acrobatics.
At this point I have to leave...
When I return, discussion is in full
swing. I am trying not to bother them
and to look innocent. The committee has
charts and tables and graphs and data
and many ideas. Time is of the essence
but the group is functioning, though
biomass is still plaguing the committee.
Antoine gives a lesson in grammar to
the committee, with three magic words:
what is
energy?
I hear
whis-
pers of
a coffee
break...
After-
math:
Peux-
tu me
donner
des
cours
de
langue?
Finally,
the
com-
mittee
dinner.
While
we gathering, we learn that Jakob has
become ill and is not joining us. Blerim
is eagarly asking Damien some good
opening lines to win the French girls’
hearts. It evokes a conversation be-
tween some committee members. The
restaurant is not far away from the train
station. It turns out it is a Spanish res-
taurant, Lafi l, and luckily we have Eva
to translate the menu for people with
inadequate skills in Spanish or German.
After everyone receives their bebibas,
we toast to our spectaculous committee.
Dinner is great, even though there is
some confusion over the orders. Eoghan
(IRE) and Lucija are exchanging meals.
The discussions around me vary from
the Irish language to Spanish songs. We
are enjoying ourselves.
After dinner, P.O. Adrian is kind enough
to lead us past the Mudd Club in the
rain. Cheers.
44
My Observations
On Energy
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the germanifesto - Thursday 18 November
Foreign Affairs 2 - International Trade
The Dark Tuesdayby Mausal
What do you do when the whole work of the previous day - the
whole creative, amazing, bulky brainstorming - has been thrown in
the bin by a well-meaning cleaning lady?
What do you do when you realise that it’s no longer in any of the
bins in the building, but is already on its way to Berlin’s recycling
centre?
What do you do when you are overcome with anger and panic and
sadness and feel that you really, really just “want to talk with the
cleaning lady and ask her how she’s been”?
The answer is simple- you go to the Committee of Foreign Affairs
II and you see how magically problems like these can be solved.
You learn and you praise them.
Have you ever heard about the legend of the phoenix?
If not, then I’m going to tell you about that.
And if you have, then I’m still going to tell you about it.
The phoenix is a beautiful bird. It is born like any other creature,
grows, develops, gets smarter, learns the ways of life and then it
burns and dies. However- from the ashes, it is reborn and becomes
more beautiful than ever before. That’s exactly what happened
today with my dear committee. They were burned by the fl ames of
misfortune, but they got over it together, growing even stronger and
more wonderful.
So by the time I got to committee work, they had put their heads
together and all the brainstorming ideas had been retrieved. They
had come up with a new system of grouping the ideas while search-
ing through their brains for the lost information. I was so amazed by
this productivity and effi ciency after such a destructive incident.
Anyway, from what I saw, this is a very lively committee, with most
of the people being extra active and passionate talkers - especially
Mateusz (POL), Jurate (LTU) and Dimitri (GRE), balanced by guys
like Lorenz (CHE), for example.
Though these discussions were rather heated, this committee
doesn’t have any problems listening to each other. Another thing
that I love about this committee is their honesty. If someone asks
e.g. “do you feel fi ne with that? “ then they can also answer “no”
and through discussing the reasons, they make their way for the
kind of methods, that everyone feels comfortable with. There are
also people in this committee like Verena (DEU) and Litos (POR),
who take care of the mental life of the group- without actually need-
ing a chair to debrief them anymore...
Another interesting thing they introduced today was the feedback
board on the wall, where everyone can leave an honest message to
someone. It was one of the sweetest things I had ever seen and you
want to know why? This message in there weren’t fake: they came
from the minds of the delegates.
I was so proud of them and just when I thought things couldn’t get
any better, it did...
The guys of the committee had prepared a little surprise to the girls
projected to the wall of the room. It was so wonderful and breath
taking, that I can not really put it in words, however I did manage
to take a photo of it and I hope, that it makes you see exactly how
special this really was.
A, Taking into consideration that thirteen students from different countries have come up
with a resolution by Thursday,
B. Notifying with concern that due to a variety of EYP parties, certain mood changes
within the committee room might occur and result in sleeping, snoring or angry delis,
C. Deeply concerned about the decision making to sent the IT committee to a rather “un-
pleasant” restaurant,
D. Alarmed by the fact that that specifi c delegates try to invent random theories regarding
the widely known and famous “Pointing Game”,
E. Recognising that certain people do not like to appear on photographs,
1. Hopes that the ITs will have two great GA days with a revolutionary resolution;
2. Encourages the need for more non-bavarian food (Klöße or Gulasch);
3. Suggests that you have to “listen very carefully and guess whoever it is”;
4. Calls for the immediate clarifi cation regarding this important matter and eventually seek
the assistance of Northern Ireland delis.
International Tradeby Mertahens, Hauptadelsarchiv Bamberg
Konstantinos enojoys some German beer
We got some talent here
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66
the germanifesto - Thursday 18November
EMA - Security & Defence
Walk the walk of rock and rollBy Schweizer Katze
Let’s start with a fact – the usage of beer in Germany
in the last ten years has decreased. But it’s not like that
concerns us, because none of us are Germans and we
carry our national pride with honour.
The sun was shining, the weather was fi nally sweet and
nothing could stop us from having a nice picnic in the
committee room. It really looked like cool around be-
cause of the variety of foods we had, the drinks, the nice
green carpet that if you improvised a bit, could be taken
as grass, a nice view outside, the nice sun shining inside
and the best company, of course. Everybody felt so
comfortable, that sitting on the chairs seemed a bit inap-
propriate, so some of us were chilling on the nice green
imaginary grass, some others, like Patric (FIN) on the
other hand chose to take a nap. And I still haven’t found
an appropriate word for describing the atmosphere. It’s
over and over positive, whatever it’s called, it doesn’t
feel like working when we’re spending time together.
At one, two three o’clock, four o’clock we rocked, at
fi ve, six seven o’clock, eight o’clock we rocked again,
and so we went on rocking until the midnight. But rock-
ing may not always be easy to do, so, to say the truth,
we did face some problems today. Our opinions differed
about different subjects and discussion made us feel
even more tired. But of course even in moments like
that we stayed optimistic and couldn’t do it without a
dose of humour and sarcasm. One of the variants why
the tiredness had come upon us that suddenly was that
the food had been poisoned, but it might probably be
more because that we didn’t have enough. However, it
just strengthened us as a team and once again we made
sure that our resolution will be the very best compromise
and our solutions will be the ones worth voting for. I
couldn’t possibly fi nd a way how to help my committee
with this, so that these kinds of discussions would still
keep us calm and be taken as an exchange of opinions,
not an actual problem. That is exactly why I asked for
a little help of my cat. At fi rst he said that he knows the
solution for my question, but added that he needs time
to think. We agreed to meet in a few hours and share our
ideas together. So we did, and here are the conclusions
we made:
Then suddenly the clouds parted, the light shined into
the room of ours and magic touched us. We went crazy,
started jumping around, screaming and shouting (I’m
not sure if the neighbours committee actually noticed
that). I got a bit nervous, and what I do in situations like
these – I start running, but they probably got scared that
I would run away, so they started chasing me down the
stairs. Nothing stood in our way, and if anything or any-
one were around, they got brutally knocked down (even
when doing that they worked as a team). Then suddenly,
when I was already about to jump into a cab, they all
stopped and started chasing each other. I still haven’t got
the point of it – either it was because they understood
that I’m too fast for them or because of that being a bad
energizing joke played on me, but oh well. I didn’t want
to spend the money on the cab, so I decided to join them
playing (over then I believed it was a game). Confused,
but still full of energy and willing to spend time with
them I joined them. After a while of running around, and
destroying all the bad emotions inside we were ready to
return back and continue our rock’n’rolling with cookies
and some coffee.
Today was not just sitting in a room for nearly 10 hours
and discussing tiring politics. Today was all about
spending time with my friends and having a nice chat
with them. How can you possibly ever get tired of that?
BE SUPPORTIVE GO WITH THE FLOW
Security and Defence - When
the going gets tough…By Bobby Schinen
II’ve always thought that Committee Work is
much like taking the U-Bahn in Berlin, you know where you want to end up but the
journey there is horribly unclear. Everything you come across appears to be in a for-
eign language (for most of us, it is!) and there seem so many routes to take, the choice
is made even harder. You may want to go to Michendorf but end up in Greifswalder
Straße instead (take a look on the map, it’s frickin’ far).
The gems from Security and Defence may well have shared my view on this when
beginning the second day of Committee Work, mind you, when you’ve got 39,759
contentious topics to discuss in just fi ve hours, even taking the U-Bahn seems like a
walk in the park.
It’s safe to say that this day was tough on the delegates, I really felt for them. At times
they looked as though they were in the depths of frustration, (particularly at the point
when Chair Lukas (CZE) asked “What are we actually debating at the moment?”) and
at others, it was as though they were in another country entirely.
Now this article may seem rather bleak and therefore inappropriate for this publication,
but I really wanted to write an article that refl ected the diffi culties these guys faced.
Because it was how they got themselves out of this mess that impressed me the most.
Security and Defence came so far in a just a day, even farther than the distance be-
tween Michendorf and Greifswalder Straße. They developed a creative way to com-
municate using sign language, they respected each other’s opinions and ideas no matter
how far they were from their own. They injected some much needed humour into their
discussions when the atmosphere was particularly
heavy. They supported each other and listened to each
other as each precious hour went by. I’m not sure if
they realised it, but they really were working as a truly
effective team. Granted, it took at while to arrive at
being that team, they may have taken a few wrong
trains on the way and they may have got off at the wrong stop a few times but they
made it, in the end.
Seriousness aside, they may have eventually found a way to work well, but they did
some serious maxxi-faffi ng* in the process, which in my opinion is no bad thing. So,
in aid of their stupendous levels of maxxi-faffi ng I’ve included a little jingle written by
an old Chair of mine (carpenters make them really clever these days). It’s for when the
going is getting tough and the maxxi-faffi ng is über maxxi.
To be sung to the tune of, ‘A little less conversation’, Elvis Presley.
“A little less conversation,
A little more action please,
All this maxxi-faffi ng
Aint satisfactioning me. “
*Maxxi-faff:
The art of constructively doing nothing whilst appearing to be doing… nothing.
77
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Legal Affairs
The fi nal stages of Committee Work are al-
ways expected to be the hardest and the most
infuritatingly tight for time, so why is it then
that The Committee on Legal Affairs were
fi nished writing their resolution suspiciously
early? It began to make me wonder, per-
haps they’re not all they seem to be. I know
they’re all dazzlingly intelligent and funny
but I began to question…is there something
they aren’t telling me, are they even more tal-
ented than even their devoted Journo thought
they were? Suspecting my committee were
hiding something huge from me, possibly
masterminding a huge conspiracy, I sat back
and began to speculate, and here’s what I
came up with:
Exclusive: Legal Affairs Possess superpow-
ers!!
The Committee on Legal Affairs has been
scandalously exposed as having incredible
super powers. The Germanifesto was tipped
off in the early hours of yesterday morning.
The delegates are in the police station an-
swering questions as I type. Mwah ha ha ha
ha!!!! Some details about the superpowers of
each member were leaked in the process
Marta- She secretly has the power to call the
lift in the youth hostel whenever she likes-
she can communicate with the lift on several
levels (see what I did there?!).
Sarah has the über super power of possessing
the ability to make people fall truly, madly
deeply in love with her instantly. All she has
to do to implement this power is say ARRRR
very loudly in a silly accent to her subject.
That must mean every member of Legal Af-
fairs is in love with Sarah. Lucky for some.
Kiliane can become invisble at any time she
likes, night or day, opening up the potential
for lots of crazy capers and tricks on the
unsuspecting public.
Ott Harri can survive without sleep for up
to ten days. Just long enough to survive a
session.
Thomas has a super expandable secret limb
that is invisible. So, he can tickle you from
far away using his extra extendable limb and
you’d never know that was him. Genius.
Hakan can communicate telepathically with
sheep, they can talk about anything from
politics to the price of petrol. Hakan has
several scheep friends, incidentally, they’re
going out this Friday.
Chris can take the shape of any famous per-
son he so wishes, always useful at exclusive,
celebrity events. Chris’ particular favourtie
shape is incidentally…David Hasselhof!!!
But he’d better not transform too near the
pressroom or there’ll be crazy, sleep-deprived
journos running after him.
Ester has the enviable power of being
able to turn any meal into another
one that she’d like more. So she can
change her schnitzel into Sweet and
Sour Pork if she fancies, or her banana
into banoffee pie– the lists are endless.
Martin can instantly understand for-
eign underground maps knowing in an
instant which platform he should be
on. Große useful!
Laura has the ability to take the shape
of a scheep…watch out for Hakan
then, there could be some interesting
conversations there!
Albina can make anyone agree with her and
take her side on nay argument she wants.
Malin can write amusing, clever, interesting
and grammtically correct articles at approxi-
mately 34 every minute. Malin, watch out
your back my friend, the journo’s may do
something out of sleep deprived jealousy.
Franziska has the most mysterious power
of all…so mysterious we have no idea what
it is. All we know is it involves smoked
Latvian cheese, a scheep and a super extend-
able tongue. The mind boggles.
Thomas has the ability to sing really well, but
there’s just one thing, he sounds like Britney
Spears. Word on the street is he’s buying his
fi rst ‘Britney Spears’ outfi t this week.
Linda can become a brunette if she wiggles
her nose and turns around 4 times. Linda,
can you tell us who as more fun, blondes or
brunettes?
Dedicated to the Committee on all things ARRR!
L is for Living Latvian Linda who is never without a smile,
E is for Ester, the boys she does beguile.
G is for the guys, all super in their own special way,
A is for ‘ARRR!’, we used it more day by day.
L is for Laura, the baby of the group,
A is for Albina, our petite Croatian who hates frankfurter soup!
F is for Franziska, our lovely serene Swiss,
F is also for friends, of whom we all shall miss.
A is for ambition, of which this team has a lot
I is for fi ery chair Irene – she’s hot, hot, hot!
R is for ‘remember’, for Sarah and Kiliane, whom I could never forget.
S is for ‘stop’, I’ll have to before we all get upset.
Committee ConspiraciesBy Bobby Schinen
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Agriculture - Future
Volume 2: It’s all in the genes said a little a whit sheep one day Die Beerlinische Bradwurst (die BB)!
No more frog song, no more clichés in the Committee on Agriculture allowed!
We are sheep and Jill is our shepherd!
Me-e, be-e, said a little white sheep one day!
It’s all in the genes!
If you happy and you know it make a sheep!
That’s it! We are not going to be boring unresponsive Committee on Ordinary low-
brows. We will change the world with genetically (un)modifi ed food, we will shout
over the rooftops of the world – no need for greed or hunger, we will be fond of
Norwegian tobacco, brand new updates for if-you-know it-and- you- happy, because
the era of sheep is ready to expose itself to the day light, the era, that going to change
the mentality and of the forthcoming offspring of EYP juveniles and not only.
But let’s start from the very beginning! We got the obvious addiction to the most
probably genetically (un)modifi ed chewing tobacco products being provided by
Christian (NOR), who equipped us fully with the material and prepared to spread
the usage guide to the zippily keen committee fellows, especially girls as a matter of
fact. But the effect before and after wasn’t early predictable. The three easily – infl u-
enced heroes willing to try new “EYP trends” appeared to be Martin (CZR), Nikkolas
(GER), and Erik (EST) who occupied the bathroom for a while for an undisputable
mysterious reason (D. Hasselhoff will fi gure it out anyway!)…Of course the easiest
way to explain such a helter-skelter behaviour is the omnipotent charming committee
(go, go) girls’ powers, but somehow discovering them more and more I’ve real-
ised that even the hot-sunny-shinny-sheepy-sexy lad(ie)s couldn’t overwhelm
the obvious affection between the gentlemenish fervour for each other. The
fi rst symptom was noticed in the early morning while
playing the “Pass the mandarin” thingy, which
was obviously helping to keep the atmos-
phere hot particularly for some of you!
The fi nal point grounding the prejudice
was revealed by the fi rst complete round
of “Honey tell me that you love me!”
Absolutely straight – forward was
Connor (GBR), who found out the
new way how to resist a guy in
no time!” Honey I love you but
I have no mouth” was the last
drop that made the whole com-
mittee laugh. The attorneys
of the female sex Alessandra
(ITA), Emer (IRL), Car-
rina (AUT) used their eternal
weapon of eye contact and soft
voices to reach their goals.
Discussing, food, stuff, faffi ng, Schnizel, David Hasselhoff, phrasing, grouping, eco-
system, hunger, contamination…
The challenge of the day by Jill the Sheepy Shepherd (Chair, LTV):
To invent the new lyrics in groups for the all times best “If you happy and you know
it clap your hands!”
You cannot imagine, what kind of things you can do when being happy, or tired, or
ugly or whatever! The imagination of the fellow delegates is go-as-you please! Few
examples just in case:
If you ugly and you know it hide your face! (top tips by the be-males of the commit-
tee)
If you happy and you know it use your hands (Just don’t let them get tired)
If you sober and you know it get a beer (mit Beerlinische Bradwurst)
If you tired and you know it go to sleep (usually not working in the EYP)…..
If you happy and you know it make a sheep (Try if you can!)
Plus several versions you might get to know after paying the
personal visit.
That was it; see you in the committee dinner!
AAAAA-grii-cultureee!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for splendid
day!
The great adventures of Mr./Mrs. Agri Culture!
Well I was only in the committee room for 5 minutes on Wednesday. The life of
a journo is not easy; you can’t have a complete beauty sleep, a bubble bath and
breakfast in burger king, and still be expected to arrive before 4 o’clock. The
point is, you cannot possibly write about a day you did not witness, unless of
course, you are me. So let me tell you how Jenny was jumping on top of Salik,
then Vlad spent half an hour under the table with Maria Lucia (ITA), of course
Fergus (IRE) and Chris (AUT) settled the whole Katherine (BEL) dispute by
seeing who had more inches under the belt. Anastasia did her usual thing….you
know, that thing she does and our lovely chair posed for several photos with a
schnitzel (or maybe it was an apple) in her mouth . Everyone was doing some
stuff for x amount of time, and at some point the resolutions were completed.
Bravo. I love you guys.
The FutureBY The Baron
99
commi t t eecommi t t eeworkwork
the germanifesto - Thursday18 November
Future - Secuirty and Defence - Civil Liberties
Boys (and girls), fasten your seatbelts
and be prepared to experience some-
thing extremely exciting, I’m about to
introduce to you the hottest commit-
tee at this session. Ready?
First let’s defi ne hot…no need baby
just look at them! It’s MORE than
enough.With a majority of beautiful
and smart women (which is a very
rare combination) this committee is in
the top hot list of EYP.
Let’s start with the cutest chair- the
beloved Pamela, leading this lovely
and predominantly girlie committee.
Then we come to the turn of the fash-
ion icons in the committee - Antoi-
netta (ITA), Maria (CYP) and Corina
(NDL) always in prime positions.
Sweet faces like Sophia(DEU), Scilia
(NOR) and Camilla(DNK) can make
your day just by giving you a smile.
Belgian cutie Dorothea is
open for a long and pleas-
ant conversation and Linda
(FIN) is always ready to respond.
Estonian chick Klairi is so sunny and
gorgeous that makes you forget all the
cloudy things happened to you during
the day.
Talented Claudia can always get you
interested in the extraordinary pieces
of art she creates.
Nia (BGH) is so energetic; she’s al-
ways ready to write, to talk, to dance
(as you will see from the next pages
of the paper). Luscious Stephanie
(FRA) is as active in the committee as
she is out there in the disco.
All this abundance of beauties makes
the boys of Social Affairs Two very
happy indeed.
Beauties! Watch by Pocahontas
I came a little bit late for change. So I
found my seat quickly and took a look
around me. The sun was shining as if we
weren’t in Berlin at the end of November,
the view from the window was beautiful
and the rose on the table smelt wonder-
fully. I was just enjoying this illuminated
room fi lled with strain and cool guys from
the Committee on Employment and Social
Affairs I. I was just wondering why it
was that all the people simply seemed so
relaxed to me and then I noticed an empty
package from 400g Cadbury Dairy Milk
and things became a little bit clearer.
Although I really like Committee on
Employment and Social Affairs I, there is
still one thing I don’t really understand and
scares me a little bit. As I was examining
the sun-lit room, suddenly I spotted IT. IT
was written on the board. I didn’t under-
stand IT, but IT sounded suspicious to me.
I am not even sure whether I am allowed to
write IT into the newspaper.
But as I had been really in favour with this
committee before, I decided I wouldn’t
condemn them yet. With the permit ion of
Heili (EST, chair) I decided to challenge
their qualities with a very special game
called Palermo City (also known as Mafi a)
and I found out that most of the committee
is really trustworthy, for example the doc-
tor Ivan (CZE) didn’t ever use the oppor-
tunity to save his own life, but always used
the right of saving life on somebody else’s
one. The majority of these people are OK,
but as usual an exception proves the rule.
The conclusion? Never trust Sander (EST).
Watch out – especially at nights - he can
kill in cold blood, accuse someone else and
execute him/her – pretending he himself
is just an innocent citizen taking care of
safety in the streets of Palermo City. His
reasons for executing, on the other hand,
use to be irrefutable. Ann Sophie (FRA)
was for example too silent, Eoife (IRE)
was wearing black and Mateusz was sim-
ply from Poland. Gentleman, isn’t he?
I have experienced something special in the
evening wit this committee – the dinner)
the restaurant was Italian, the food deli-
cious and Ashild (NOR) funny. I am not
pretty sure what was she talking about, I
have just noticed she was saying something
about bigger bra, bigger boobies…that
would be OK – this is an usual wish of the
most of the girls, but why was she talking
also about bigger bear…? That is yet to be
found out.
ECKI ECKI ECKI SUM SUM FOI...?
by Donaudampfschifffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän
CALIFORNIA!By Zeit-1874
After waking up, I was facing a series
of groundshaking questions – “where
am I?”, “why am I sleeping in the mid-
dle of the room with no clothes on?“,
“do people living on the North Pole
have to pay for electricity?” and “how
to get to the place where we are having
committee work in?” Waking up after
an EYP night is nothing compared to
travelling alone from the Youth Hos-
tel to the Ludwig Erhard. There are a
number of problems. To name a few
of them – everything is in German;
random locals are looking for the op-
portunity to attack/rob/abuse you; lack
of vision in your left eye caused by last
nights adventures. Anyway, a lot of
effort on my behalf was put into fi nding
an answer to the question, so naturally,
when I got to the committee room, I
had no problem listening to you solve
a small problem like how to save the
environment.
Because this is EYP - a very infl uen-
cial organization, it is no wonder that
delegations from all over europe are
present, forming groups of specialists.
The Pubic Hair committee is no dif-
ferent. Let me introduce it’s wonderful
essence:
Oksana – a specialist on sizes of trees.
Billy a.k.a the Human Dictionary – a
specialist on moats.
Dimitris – leader of the Green Task
Force.
Bara – the manager of the ecosystem.
Maria – director of the nature-related
movie “Confusion”.
Marco – leading scientist on the topic
of the greenhouse effect.
Radka – tree/soil expert.
Stephanie – chairman of the sick trees
and fl oods committee.
Maddy – christmas tree specialist.
Bjarne – forest repairman.
Krista – bird photographer.
Elias – president of the Industry Con-
trol Foundation.
Marin – citizen of the Environmental-
friendly Croatia.
Samuel – senior member of the Path-
fi nders Club.
Felix – executive director of the We-
Have-the-Recources Inc.
The reason for these professionals
gathering in Berlin – environment.
Since it is proven that eating and
drinking will create user-friendly sur-
roundings for bonding, naturally the
most important thing on agenda was
committee dinner, which turned out to
be quite productive. The main subject
being a product that is on the start of
it dictatorship – sheep-cheese. While
Billy and Maddy, supported by Felix
and Stephanie enlightened us in terms
of the different ways of using sheep,
the Mediterranean representatives ac-
companied by Sam and Marin decided
that the topic at hand was not in need of
their expertise, so instead of joining in
on the discussion, they felt free to make
horrifi c noises and through that take
on the goal of emptying the restaurant.
Silently they also had the support of the
People in Between, because they were
forming an alliance against the power
of the Restaurant People. The dinner,
however, ended without a major blood-
shed in terms of setting the place on fi re
and going at each-other with wooden
plates.
Oh, well. Let’s hope the General As-
sembly will compensate.
commi t t eecommi t t eeworkwork
1010
the germanifesto - Thursday 18 November
International Trade
1. Hey there, you have beautiful eyes. Wanna go for a walk with me? - Hi, du hast wunderschöne Augen. Wollen wir spazieren
gehen?
2. I wasn´t looking for love, but I´m glad I found you. - Ich habe nicht nach Liebe gesucht, bin aber glücklich, dass Ich dich
gefunden habe.
3. Have you had plastic surgery? “No, why?” - Because you´re really beautiful. - Hast du dich einer Schönheitsoperation unter-
zogen? “Nein, warum?”. Weil du so schön bist.
4 I heard God has lost his most precious angle... But don´t worry, I won´t tell him where you are. - Ich habe gehört, dass Gott
seinen wertvollsten Engel verloren hat…..Aber keine Angst, Ich werde ihm nicht erzählen, wo du bist.
5. Hey dear- you look tired. Wanna sleep on my lap? - Hey du- du siehst müde aus. Willst du In meinem Schoß schlafen.
6. You seem a little tense, I could give you a massage. - Du wirkst ein wenig verspannt. Soll Ich dich massieren?
7. I´m Tarzan, would you be Jane? - Ich bin Tarzan. Würdest du Jane sein?
8. When I look at you, I see my future. - Wenn Ich dich ansehe, kann Ich die Zukunft sehen.
9. I hope my children will have your genes. - Ich hoffe, dass meine Kinder deine Gene haben werden.
10. Did you know that the birthrate in Germany is decreasing... ? - Weißt du, dass die Geburtenrate In Deutschland abnim-
mt….?
EYP German - Unit 4:
Pick Up Lines
Civil Lib-
erties Will
Rock YouBy Pochahontoas
The Committee on Civil Liber-
ties started their ‘resolution
writing adventure’ by building
up a well-structured, consist-
ent plan in order to create their
resolution. Each of them had the
patience to listen to and consider
each other’s opinions.
They made sure discussions were
always relevant to their topic, not
wasting time with vagueness.
The committee has a very in-
telligent and delicate way of
disagreeing with each other and
everyone was feeling comfortable
in sharing his\her opinion.
Gery(SLO) can be very infl uen-
tial, putting his argument across
eloquently and constructively.
Xavier (FRA) and Hugo (NDL)
take care to maintain the peace,
carefully following the rules of
patience and tolerance estab-
lished by the committee.
Karin (EST) always focuses on
the most essential facts and
keeps the discussion fl uent
and consistent.
Marina (ROM) and Silvia
(IT) prefer to go with the
discussion fl ow deciding to
stay quiet, to stay out of the
fi ery dispute between Jasmina
(MAC) (the-never-ending-gig-
gle) and Gery (SLO)(watch
out ladies!). Despite all their
misunderstandings they still
managed to keep a polite tone
by addressing each other with
“my friend”.
That also applies to Peter (GBR)
who tried to settle things down
between his fellow delegates. Ana
(DEU) also exchanged opinions
with Jasmina and Nathan (IRL).
Simon (CHE) was happy to have
female attention from each side
of him.
After having done a great job,
the committee played a game of
“suck and blow” which everyone
enjoyed especially Angela(ESP)
and Irene(BLR), (as well as the
journo J )
The committee dinner made one
Journo very happy indeed. The
restaurant couldn’t have been
nicer, the food couldn’t have
been tastier and as you can see,
neither could SpongeBob.
I’d like to congratulate Civil
Liberties for working so well to-
gether. Despite their differences
and contrasting ideas, their work
was very productive.
Despite the complex-
ity of their task, their
passion for resolving
problems and their
never ending enthu-
siasm for argument
and agreement will
be sure to make their
resolution one of the
best.
commi t t eecommi t t eeworkwork
1111
Quarter fi nalsby The Baron
TThere are only 3 nights left, the tension
is building, we have reached that stage
where any tactical errors mean you have
to stroke your bench watching on the
sidelines (like Tillmann).
Two delegates are pushing each other
hard at the top, Aidan (GBR) and Flor-
ence (BEL). But their dominance is
being challenged by Patrick (FIN) who
is engaged in some hot action with a
man from the UK who likes to be called
Oscar in the heat of the moment.
Staying with the UK, one of their del-
egates, Chris, is engaged in some ‘head
to head’ action and has enlisted Ester
(ESP) to keep him coming.
Norway’s performance has been ab-
solutely dismal, one sad delegate has
been shooting blanks, scoring a big
ZERO with the Belgians, Bulgarians and
Croatians.
Going into the knock-out stages, the Bul-
garians have the highest scoring poten-
tial, but the Dutch and the Czechs could
come hard from behind.
We hope to see big things during the next
few nights, if everyone pulls together we
can go out with a big bang.
Two d
hard a
(B
challe
d in som
he U
n the
arter fi naon
ghts left, the tension
reached that s
errors mean you have
h t hi th
the germanifesto -Thursday 18 November
alaying with the UK, on
ge
a
an
one
blanks
he Belgi
oing into the knock-out stages,
ians have the highest scorinan
d the but
e hard from behind
Foreign Affairs 1 - Employment I
Sleep is for The Weak!
I was trailing my legs upon the stair, because
the elevator was “besetzt” - for change. I was
dreaming of my soft, warm, comfortable bed
as I was crawling through the fi rst fl oor, but
the higher I crept, the less choosey I was and
when I got to the sixth fl oor (of course that
both of ‘my’ committees have their committee
rooms in the sixth = last fl oor) I was thinking
of cuddle up in the corner, underneath the table
and have a bit of rest during the committee
work, but then I reached the door of Commit-
tee on Foreign Affairs I, on which was a sign
saying “Sleeping is for weak!”. I felt betrayed.
I wanted to enter the room angrily, but the pro-
gramme was changed. We were supposed to
play games together with Committee on Em-
ployment and Social Affairs I and with Com-
mittee on Economy and Monetary Affairs.
Heili (SocAff, EST, chair) prepared a game
‘Maradzha….” (At least it sounded a little
bit like this) and then after boosting us with
‘Funky chicken’ she released us into our own
committees. I noticed a slight improvement – I
got back to my level of tiredness from the fi rst
fl oor – so I kept my dreams of my soft, com-
fortable and warm bed and opened The Door.
The fi rst thing I saw was Ola (POL)
sitting in the circle with the sweater turned
inside out. This could mean many things…we,
in the Czech Republic have a superstition
that a sweater inside-out means somebody is
in love with you…concerning the fact I saw
her boyfriend Mateusz (POL) this morning, I
could agree with this. The meaning could also
be a little more prosaic – maybe somebody
was simply too tired. Or – third and most prob-
able theory = her boyfriend is in love with her
and was simply too tired in the morning.
Unfortunately I could spend only a
little time with this cool group of great peo-
ple, but even in spite of the lack of time I’ve
noticed few surprising facts – I know that our
taste differed one from each other, so I should
not be surprised when Svetlana (RUS) said
that she likes Russian President Putin – but
she likes him because she fi nds him attractive!
Everybody, clap your hands!
bY Donaudampfschifffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän
22
deardeardaviddavid
1212
DDDDDDex god David Hasselhoff gives adv
Dear David,
I’m sharing a room with two very noisy Portu-
guese guys, which means that I haven’t slept at all
from the day we got here. Please help me, ‘cause
I’m getting tired and am scared I’ll fall asleep at
dinner.
Annonymous non-Portugese delegate from room
306.
Dear Delegate,
Since Ian and Andrew are working all night long
on the next issue of the paper, you are welcome
to come and share a room with me. Or actually,
even better, you could join our “Who sleeps the
least during the session” competition, win, and get
a 2 month contract in Baywatch.
Dear Mr Hasslehof
I’m particularly bothered by the enourmous amount of food
we’re getting, especially the lunch packages during Com-
mittee Work.
Do I really need to eat all of it, or would it be fi ne if we just
shared one bag of food for the whole committee? I’m just
too full and I’m begeinning to worry how to keep fi t with
all these calories.
Fitness conscious delegate.
Dear Delegate,
I do sympathasise with your problem, I must admit it is
a rather serious one. During fi lming in Baywatch I had a
similar issue. However I do believe that it’s possible to fi nd
a solution, for example the obvious answer is to work out
to my ‘Hasselhoff Endurnace Fitness Test’ video, avialiable
at any reputable video retailer. Or, you can take the leftow-
ers of your lunch packages to the hungry journos.
Dear Mr Hasslehof
I’m particularly bothered by the enourmous amount of food
we’re getting, especially the lunch packages during Committee
Work.
Do I really need to eat all of it, or would it be fi ne if we just
shared one bag of food for the whole committee? I’m just too
full and I’m begeinning to worry how to keep fi t with all these
calories.
Fitness conscious delegate.
Dear Delegate,
I do sympathasise with your problem, I must admit it is a rather
serious one. During fi lming in Baywatch I had a similar issue.
However I do believe that it’s possible to fi nd a solution, for
example the obvious answer is to work out to my ‘Hasselhoff
Endurnace Fitness Test’ video, avialiable at any reputable
video retailer. Or, you can take the leftowers of your lunch
packages to the hungry journos.
My dearest David,
David, I’m your number one fan, I think you’re utterly amazing. I have every episode of Baywatch and Knight Rider on video
and I watch them repeatedly. I can’t sleep at night for thinking about you. I want to be like you. I want to know just how you
manage to hold your life buoy so sexily. David what’s your secret?
Lusty fan
Dear Fan,
Well, I get a lot of letters like yours and it breaks my heart to hear you so restless about me. I have many many secrets on how I
look so good, most of which I can’t divulge. However, often fans fi nd using my ‘Hasselhof Endurance Fitness test’ video very
useful, available from any reputable video retaileer, it works wonders. Also,a great lack of sleep is great for the skin.
Hope this helps.
the germanifesto -Thursday 18 November
Random delegate: “We
are not saying that we
don’t trust you and
we’re not saying that
Gloria (DEU, Organ-
izer): “I am just a small
organizer taking care of
toilet paper.”