Gay Pastor on TrialOn December 15,1993, BishopLyle Miller of the SierraPacific Synod brought formaldiscipline charges againstPastor Ross D. Merkel whoserves St. Paul LutheranChurch,Oakland,CA. Asagay man in a committedrelationship, Merkel has beencharged with "conductincompatible with the charac-ter of the ministerial office."A public trial will beginFebruary 18,1994. LucyKolin, Co-pastor of Resurrec-tion Lutheran Church, willrepresent Merkel at thediscipline hearing. Kolin waspresiding minister during the"irregular" ordinations ofPastors Ruth Frost, PhyllisZillhart and Jeff Johnson in1990. Kathy Kelly, Co-chair ofthe discipline committeewhich heard the case of St.Francis and First UnitedLutheran Churches, is Kolin'slegal advisor.

In a service celebrating 15years as an ordained minister,Merkel came out to hiscongregation and introducedhis partner of over six years to

them. Merkel has servedthe congregation of St.Paul over a decade, and asone parishioner said, 'Thiswas an 'open secref tomost of us- we can all justtalk about it now. Rosshas been a fine pastor tous all these years. Thisdoesn't change anything,"Since Merkel's announce-ment, only one memberhas left the church; 19have joined.

The Church Councilresponded to Pr. Merkel'sannouncement by votingunanimously to affirm Pr.Merkel's ministry, citingthe congregation's 1984Mission Statement whichsays that "a part of ourministry is speaking outon behalf of those who arepowerless, oppressed anddiscriminated against. We

believe that such advocacyis consistent with the clearwitness of the scriptures.As Jesus Christ intercedeson our behalf, so we arecalled upon to intercede

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GuestPastor'sColumn

The Rev.Ross D.Merkel

On June 6,1993,1 formally shared with mycongregation that 1 am a gay person in acommitted relationship with another man.I say "formally" because the majority of thecongregation already knew this. So why bepublic? Because such sharing was neces-sary for me and for the congregation at thattime in our life together. I realized that Iwas becoming increasingly angry at havingto hide an important part of who I am, andthat that anger was put out there in ashotgun manner - hitting anyone whohappened to be in its path. I had alsoreached a place in my own life where Iknew that I could no longer be silent aboutthis part in my life. Such silence felt like adenial of something which has helped toshape and form both my personal life andmy ministry as an ordained person; some-thing to be honored and affirmed. I real-ized that if I was to continue as a member ofthe Christian community, let alone as anordained minister, that something wouldhave to change. I believe that God alsoknew that, for I believe that it was God wholed me to publicly share another part ofwho I am with my faith community. I

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Voice & Vision: Lutheran Lesbian and GayMinistry (LLGM) is a ministry of advocacy,affirmation andspiritual care forlesbian, gay,and bisexual people in the Greater SanFrancisco Bay Area. We seek to assist lesbianand gay people to claim a spiritual voicewhich is life-affirming and self-authenticating.

Mailing AddressLLGM

152 Church SlreetSan Francisco, CA 94114-111 ]

415 553-4026

StaffThe Rev. Jeff JohnsonThe Rev. Ruth Frost

The Rev. Phyffis ZillhartMs. Sarah Hall. Office Manager

Board of DirectorsWayne Strei, President

Dale Johnson, Vice-President

Dr. Man Griffiths In-inJonxavier Brads haw

Skip SikoraDr. Melissa Wyer

their assistance wilh mailing and

Voice & Vision TeamMark Lieu,Production

Ruth Frost. Coordinator

Voice & Vision, the newsletter of LLGM, ispublished quarterly. The mailing list forVoice & Vision is composed of individualswho have indicated interest in the ministry, aswell as those recommended for inclusion. Ifyou have names to add, or if you wish to beremoved from the mailing lisl, please let theeditorial office know. Voice & Vision will be

it Letters to the Editor are welcome andencouraged, and will be printed as space

© Copyright 1994, Voice & Vision: LutheranLesbian and Gay Ministry (LLGM).Permission is hereby granted to reproducesections from Voice & Vision, with appropriatewritten credit.

believe that it was a kairosmoment - a moment which Godhad been working to prepare formost of my life. That it occurredon June 6 was significant in thatthat day marked the 15th anni-versary of my ordination.

Being gay is not the sum totalof who I am, but it is an impor-tant part and has had a signifi-cant bearing in my own develop-ment. God has taught me a greatdeal about grace and communityand faith in my journey to date,and I expect God still has muchto share in the months and yearsahead. Since sharing this infor-mation with members of my faithcommunity here at Saint Paul, 1have felt much of the anger that Ihad disappear. I'm not angryand I'm not afraid. I feel as if mylife is more complete and that Ihave fewer barriers to maintain,because now there is no greatsecret to protect. All of thatenergy is freed up for moreproductive things.

I know that there will bemany who will not understandthis. I know that many will hateme even without knowing me,simply because I am gay. Icannot change that. I can onlytrust my relationship with God,and that relationship affirms whoI am as a child of God who is gay.Whatever happens as a result ofthe institutional response of theELCA, I know that the future willbe OK. I also know that there aremany people in our Church whooffer their support to me and toother gay and lesbian clergy,Such support is a gift which wevalue, as is your presence with us

in our journeys-

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Historical SocietyArchives V&VThe Gay and Lesbian HistoricalSociety of Northern Californiainvited Voice & Vision to archiveits newsletters in their collection.Their archives are composed ofseveral departments: Periodicals,Oral Histories, Manuscripts,Organizational Histories, andEphemera.

The collection will be depos-ited with the Gay and LesbianCenter in the I. M. Pei designedpublic library now under con-struction in San Francisco's CivicCenter. In that setting, thesematerials will be available toscholars, ordinary patrons andon-line to the entire world.Currently, the Society has nearly2,000 titles of periodicals repre-senting an array of social, reli-gious, political, and artisticvalues found in the lives of gay,lesbian, bisexual andtrans-gender people.

Ruth Frost, Editor of the Voice& Vision newsletter commented,"We are pleased and honored toknow that our newsletter residesin the same collection with thepersonal papers of people likeRoberta Achtenberg and will beaccessible to readers world-wideand into the future. It helps to setour struggle for justice within theEvangelical Lutheran Church inAmerica in a broader perspec-tive."

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PastorJeffJohnson

1994 marks the fourth anniver-sary of our ordinations. Ruth,Phyllis and I were ordained in aspectacular ceremony on January20,1990 at St. Paulus LutheranChurch in San Francisco. Justtwo months before our ordina-tions, San Francisco was shakenby the great Loma Prieta earth-quake of 1989 as Ruth and Phylliswere preparing to interview forthe call committee. Loma Prietawas an apt context for the rootsof this ministry. Our ordinationswere one of many shock waveswhich will eventually tumble theoutdated structures ofheterosexism and discriminationwithin the Evangelical LutheranChurch in America and the restof society. Whereas there havebeen significant tremors in thepast, some would say that theordinations were an 8.5 on theRichter scale, sounding a wakeup call to the church: eithershore up and reinforce this oldstructure, or tear it down. Ofcourse, we hope that the founda-tions of homophobia go the wayof so many out dated freewaysand other dangerous structures.

This cataclysm has not beenwithout significant casualties. 1think of all the men and womenwho have given up on Godbecause of the abuse they haveexperienced in the church. Ithink of all the men with HIVwho have died over the past 5

years who have not known theunconditional love of God northe compassion and care ofpastors or healthy religiouscommunities. I think of thoselesbian, gay and bisexual pastors,whose calls and ministries havebecome victims of the churchspolicy of enforced celibacy andwho have been crushed in mindand spirit by the system crashingin upon them.

With the suffering of the 1989quake in San Francisco and theNorthridge quake in Los Angeleslast month, come also stories ofheroism, courage and inspiredactivism. The presence of LLGMhas inspired many caught in therubble of oppression to find theirway out. Through LLGM, wehave helped many to shelterthemselves against future in-stances of gay bashing by reli-gious people. Together we havemade it more difficult for dis-crimination and homophobia tobe rebuilt in the places wherethey formerly securely stood.

As I was remembering ourordinations, I also thought aboutmy initial partners in this jour-ney: Jim Lancaster and JoelWorkin, the two other seminar-ians with whom I came out nowalmost 5 years ago — a comingout which radically changed thenature of the discussion aboutlesbian and gay issues within theELCA. Both now live in LosAngeles, so I called them to seehow they had made it throughthe earthquake. Jim lost someantique glass, a concrete wall andhad a ruptured water pipe. Joel'shouse saw a few cracks, but littleother damage.

Without these two men,LLGM would probably neverhave happened. However,neither of them is ordained. OnlyJoel continues to be active in achurch. If only the quake whichthey helped to start back inseminary had been as kind tothem as this most recent one theysurvived in L.A.

Thanks, Jim and Joel, formaking our ordinations possible!Congratulations, Ruth andPhyllis, on our four year anniver-sary! Blessings, Ross Merkel, asyou round this new bend in yourjourney of faith! Our gratitude tothe many other persons ofcourage who have lost lives andcareers, or gained hopes anddreams, courage and activism inthe midst of the mighty tremblerwhich is presently rocking theoppressive structures of ourchurch and society.

joy, not just their very real fear.Perhaps this meeting helped toopen their ears. Perhaps not.

NOTE: The ELCA is tabulat-ing all responses to the SexualityStatement. We invite you to sendyour response to: Bishop HerbertChilstrom, Sexuality Study, TheEvangelical Lutheran Church inAmerica, 8765 W. Higgins Rd.,Chicago, IL 60631.

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The Stone andthe Story

Pastor Lucy Kolin

Editor's Note: Pastor Kolin wasthe preacher at the Service ofCelebration and Support, spon-sored by The Network on behalf ofPastor Ross Merkel and St. PaulLutheran Church. Her sermon,The Stone And The Story, is basedon Mark 16:1-8, the Gospel forthe day. An edited version isprinted here.

Don't let the stone get in the way ofthe story. But it isn't so easy. Theupcoming trial and theever-tightening spiral of ecclesi-astical control all too clearlysuggest that the stone - and notthe story - is getting all the press.

The very large stone was thetopic of conversation for thewomen who went to the tombearly in the morning. There wasno talk about the crucifixion,about dashed hopes or brokenpromises - the only conversationpossible was about the stone,which filled their days anddreams. That "very large" stone,symbol of death and impossibil-ity, so consumed them that whenthey finally arrived and foundthe stone already rolled away,there was no joy, only terror andamazement.

Don't let the stone get in theway of the story. That's themessage for us this afternoon aswe gather in the name of the One

who is our story, rejoicing in theministry of St. Paul LutheranChurch and their pastor, prepar-ing to keep vigil, and seekingstrength for faithful testimonyand faithful lives. We too aretempted to focus on the stone andforget the story. We too aretempted to see only those verylarge stones which seem to blockthe pathway of the Gospel,sealing the fate of this pastor andthis congregation, sealing us allinside the tomb of hopelessnessand isolation, making ourpresence here today a merepaying of respects to an impotenthope. It would be a mistake notto acknowledge the stones thatloom large on the horizon of theChurch, for God never calls us toabandon reality.

We need to name thosestones and then the power thatpre-empts them: The stone oflegalism, that atmosphere ofunholy power, whose only storyis the way things are and the waythings have to be, conveyed inrules and percentages. The stoneof disciplinary proceeding, thetrial, which has the power tosimply reinforce the status quoand to render a verdict devisedand delivered not in the spirit ofthe stone rolled away but of astone deemed too risky toremove. The stone of our legiti-mate fears, fear about what maybe lost or forgotten, about choices

erased and ministry frozen. Thestone of our own wrath whichgoes beyond righteous anger,paralyzing the movement ofgrace by the desire for revenge.The very real weight of such veryreal stones can leave us speech-less and stunned, unable tobreathe a word of the story,unable to sing of the stone rolledaway and the Spirit of Jesus alivein the land.

Today God calls us to lookup, like the women on that firstEaster morning, and see that eventhese very large stones are subjectto the God of Life. God calls usto believe that the story of liferolls on and on, guaranteed byJesus' suffering, death and rising,unbound by any verdict, unde-feated by any death.

Today we celebrate the storyof the courage and integrity of apastor, the story of a congrega-tion whose love was the womb inwhich their pastor's couragegrew until his story could be borninto speech. It is the story of gay,lesbian and bisexual people, theirvocations stifled by the Church,yet their voices unstoppable incalling the Church to repentanceand truth. It is the story of thepeople of God in many places,across many denominations, whocontinue to live as the belovedcommunity, welcoming and just.

Best of all, it is the storywhich inspires our own: the storyof the Crucified One raised to lifewho calls us beyond the tomb,beyond the stone, beyond thetrial, beyond the verdict, beyondfailure, disappointment or fear.Oh, we shall not escape the trialand we shall always be given

reason to fear and to fail. Buttoday Jesus calls us back toGalilee, back to the place wherewe first met and knew him, backto the promises, back to the riskand the joy of community.

The message of the messen-ger, which now must be our own,is that all of us - those who mostvisibly risk their lives andreputations, but also those mostanxious to reseal the tomb andreplace the stone - are called tothat never-ending destiny ofcommunity and life. The messen-ger points us beyond the obviousand the necessary, the acceptedrisks and the undesired chal-lenges, and tells us that althoughdivisions and death may seemour only future, Jesus the Christhas won the right to reconcile usall and to restore and renew ourfuture. It is a future meant for all,for the failures and the traitors,for the believers and the doubt-ers, for the fearful and the fools.

In the Eucharist today Godonce more rolls away every stonewhich might keep us from lifeand says the words we fearednever to hear again: "The verdictthat counts is already in: You aremy Beloved. You are free to liveand hope and love one another."With such a word, we may go inpeace; with such a word we maydare to speak; with such a word,we may be strength for eachother. God is not bound. Christis arisen, and the story will go on- whether in spite of the Churchor through the witness of theChurch. For the spirit of thestone has been defeated but theSpirit of the story lives on. Howcan we keep from singing?!"

VOPCareer ProgramLaunched

Voices of Pride Resource Centerfor Sexual Minority Youth haslaunched a new Career Partner-ship program. This programpartners young people withlesbian, gay and bisexual busi-ness and professional leaders in acareer partnership programwhich can make a difference inthe lives of young people andassist them in claiming a positivefuture.

Through this program,business and professional leadershave an opportunity to partici-pate in the program in a varietyof ways: as consultants for youngpeople wishing to explore aparticular career path, as trainersfor those seeking to develop jobskills, as employers, and ashealthy role models. Voices ofPride is working in conjunctionwith members of the Golden GateBusiness Association and the EastBay Professional and BusinessAlliance. An open house forbusiness and professional leadersin December resulted in over adozen participants, from lawyersto small business owners tophysicians and landscape archi-tects, among others.

This May, VOP is sponsoringa "Personal Growth & CareerPlanning" Job Fair at the Voicesof Pride site in Oakland. Youngpeople will be able to attendworkshops on a variety of topics,hear presentations from gay,lesbian and bisexual representa-tives of several different fields

and do on site informationalinterviewing. For more informa-tion on this event call: 510/530-8529. V

Overheard at the Service ofSupport for Ross Merkel:

"// Christianity disappeared

from the face of the earth,

eventually even the Church

would be affected."

on behalf of others in the social,political and religious arenas ofour society." The clergy and laityof the East Bay Conferenceexpressed their continuingconfidence in Pr. Merkel byelecting him Conference Dean.

On February 6, 1994, TheNetwork to End Sexual Discrimina-tion in the ELCA sponsored aService of Support & Celebrationon behalf of St. Paul LutheranChurch and Merkel. Approxi-mately 400 Lutherans fromaround the Bay Area gathered forthis service and pledged tocontinue their support by partici-pating in an ongoing prayer vigilthroughout the trial.

The congregation has re-quested that letters of supportand statements of solidarity besent to their congregation (1658Excelsior Ave., Oakland, CA94602), the Sierra Pacific Synodoffice (401 Roland Way, #215,Oakland, CA 94621) and theChicago office of the ELCA (8765W. Higgins Rd., Chicago, IL60631).

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