FWM 2010 03 and 04

� FamilyWorks Magazine - March & April, �010 www.familyworks.org

March & April, 2010

APPLE FamilyWorks® 4 Joseph Court, San Rafael, CA 94903 email: [email protected]

Read FamilyWorks Magazine on-line at www.familyworks.org

Advertising Information: Doug Silberstein Phone: (415) 492-1022 FAX: (415) 492-1099 email: [email protected]

Editorial Information: Lew Tremaine Phone: (415) 492-0720 x231 FAX: (415) 492-1099 email: [email protected]: This major family magazine is published bi-monthly and widely distributed FREE throughout Marin and Sonoma Coun-ties: through home deliveries, distribution to over 200 community locations - stores, public and private schools, medical offices, hospitals, and family-related businesses – and direct mail to thousands of active participants and sponsors of FamilyWorks®. © 2010 APPLE FamilyWorks®, All rights reserved. APPLE FamilyWorks is a nonprofit agency serving families in the Bay Area. No portion of FamilyWorks Magazine may be reproduced without written permission of the publisher. Appearance of articles, editorials, author’s point of view, advertisements or announcements for products and services in FamilyWorks Magazine does not necessarily constitute an endorsement by FamilyWorks® and FamilyWorks® is not responsible for its content or the reactions of readers to its content. FamilyWorks Magazine reserves the right to refuse advertising for any reason. Unsolicited manuscripts and photographs are welcome and should e-mailed to: [email protected]

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3 10 Timely TIps for Pregnant Working Women By Shoshana Bennett, Ph.D

4 Strengthening Relationships: He Said... She Said... By Mary Jane DeWolf-Smith MA, RN, MFT

6 It’s Spring! Lets Plant Some Principles By Patricia Saunders, MA, MFT

8 Improving Behavior One Family at a Time By Julia Rahn, Ph.D

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FamilyWorks Magazine is published by APPLE FamilyWorks®

APPLE FamilyWorks 11Parenting Programs 12Counseling Programs 13Family Interactive Therapy 14 Support for Individuals with Special Needs

22 School Spotlight:

Star Academy

15 2010 Camp Guide: The Camp Experience - 5 Ways to prepare Our Kids By Judy M. Miller

Choosing a Camp: Myths & Facts By Eve Eifler

19 Camp Directory

FamilyWorks Magazine - March & April, �010 �www.familyworks.org

1. Eat three to five healthful meals a day, as well as nutritious snacks, like cut up raw vegetables, fruit, yogurt, cheese, whole grain cereal, eggs, lean mean and legumes. Get four servings of calcium spread out over each day. Your doctor will prescribe special vitamins for you, which should include foliate. She may also recommend calcium supplements and omega 3s to help keep your mental and physical health. They are also necessary for proper development of your baby.

2. Keep healthful snacks avail-able at work, such as: popcorn, peanut butter and crackers, cheese, hardboiled eggs, and fruit. Hunger or low blood sugar can cause nausea, but peppermint tea and soda crackers reduce it. Medication for morn-ing sickness is available if the problem becomes serious, but there are safer and more natural remedies which may help you.

3. Get Rest. Review your schedule and be realistic about what you can do during preg-nancy. List appointments and responsibilities on your calendar. Schedule in relaxation and fun. Bal-ance work and play to avoid becoming overtired.

4. Drink lots of water throughout the day to hydrate yourself. Be sure to get enough vitamin C from fruits, juices, or supplements.

5. Get eight to eleven hours of sleep each night.

By Shoshana Bennett, PhD.

Should you work while you are pregnant? Consult your doctor about working during pregnancy. She will take into consideration your general health, how well the pregnancy is going, and any problems you’ve had with former pregnancies. She will also evaluate your work: how many hours you work, and whether your job could harm you or your baby. About 78% of pregnant women continue work through the end of pregnancy.

Some women may have to limit or quit work during pregnancy because of health risks or especially demanding jobs. Some jobs are risky due to heavy lifting, climbing, standing for a long time, and tasks that require balance. If you have had a difficult pregnancy in the past, heavy physical work is usually not recommended.

Timely Tips for Pregnant Working Women

continued on page 7


What we say may not be what the other person hears (especially one of the opposite gender). A perfectly innocent and well-intentioned statement by one person may be received as in insult or threat by the other.

A typical evening ...It’s 7pm, John walksin, his face is drawn, eyes bloodshot.The kids are chasing around thetable. The teacher called and abig project is due for each boytomorrow. There is art workall over the dinner table.Susan is cooking dinner. John’s first words are: “What’s for dinner?”

I’m starved.

Maybe I canrest for a Minute

“Stew”.And hello to you too!

Why doesn’the help if he’s in

such a hurry?

Why do I have todo everything? He could help!

Ten minutes later

Glad she’sa good cook!

He make me furious!

“Dinner ready yet?”

“When are wegoing to eat?”

“I’m going torest for a minute.”

“Oh, pleeze! I’ve had it. Finish dinner yourself!”(Susan leaves the kitchen and slams the bedroom door.)

“I said soon!. I’m not your maid!”

“Why are you so upset?”

“Boys, get in here and set the table.”

“Soon”.

I don’t getwomen.

I married aknuckle dragger

He Said...She Said...

by Mary Jane DeWolf-Smith, RN, PHN, MA, Licensed Marriage & Family TherapistMary Jane DeWolf-Smith is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist specializing in couples, parenting and co-parenting concerns. She is a renowned family educator. Learn more great parenting skills in her Positive & Peaceful Parenting class. Call (415) 492-0720 to sign up or make an appointment for counseling services.

“Rest?! Must be nice.”

JohnSusan


What Happened

Embrace the vital importance of “Hellos” and “Goodbyes”.

Check in with each other and ask about one another’s feelings and needs.

At all costs, avoid asking another person “why” they feel a certain way. This implies they should not feel that way, or makes them feel they have to justify their feelings.

Set aside time to listen.

Build-in rituals to make transitions smooth.

Plan chores and roles so everyone pitches in.

Plan a meal that allows 15 minutes for those returning home to chill out.

Avoid assuming a negative interpretation of another’s words or actions.

Assuming the worst usually gets you the worst.

• Susan is on task, too. This is one of the final, more complex activities of her long day, but knowing that homework, bath, and prep for tomorrow is still ahead. Transition time for John’s reentry into domestic life is not part of the family plan

• She doesn’t let John know she is frazzled.

• She does not notice John’s fatigue.

• She does not greet John. “How was work?”

• She does not ask for what she needs – E.g. cooking, table setting or the kids out of the kitchen.

• Susan makes a negative interpretation of John’s business mode as being demanding and finding fault.

• Before John walked in the door he did not give himself a moment to transition from business to home as a co-nurturer in the family. At work he is paid to manage, to ask questions and get answers. At work he assigns work to others. He evaluates and solves problems.

• John does not reveal his emotional/physical state.

• Nor does he notice or acknowledge Susan’s frustration. ( Does he look at Susan’s face/body and feel the tension in the air.?)

•He doesn’t greet Susan, “Hi, honey, how was your day?”

• He doesn’t notice that Susan needs help.“Wow, you’ve got your hands full. Guys, let’s help Mom set the table.”

• John makes a negative interpretation of Susan’s short responses as lack of caring.

John Susan

What To Do

Neither John or Susan planned to have an unpleasant evening. Both had been working hard all day and looked forward to dinner and being together as a family. With such positive intent, what happened?

I will share with you one of my favorite sayings:

“No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.”

Focus in on feelings during transitions. Build empathy bridges; then negative interpretations and responses will be minimal.


by Patricia Saunders MA, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

Patricia Saunders is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist specializing in families, parenting, and co-parenting. She is the Director of Therapeutic Programs at APPLE FamilyWorks. Call (415) 492-0720 to make an appointment for counseling services.

Principles are the ideas and beliefs that we hold as important. There are dozens of principles, for example: honesty, respect, compassion, fairness, trustwor-thiness, persistence, etc. The list goes on and on.

We learn and establish our principles through several sources– our parents, teachers, coaches, friends, the local pas-tor, etc. But what refines and solidifies values and principles is our personal experience. So, it is our job as parents to help our children embrace and adopt principles that will guide them. We do this by providing them with plenty of op-portunity to “experience” just how dif-ferent principles play out in the world.

It is often the case that parents have differing sets of principles. For example: Dad gets really upset with the kids when he comes home and finds their artwork spread all over the dining table just as mom is trying to serve dinner. Mom doesn’t notice the mess because she loves to see the children engaged in creative endeavors. Dad thinks it is important to be considerate; mom thinks it is important to be creative.

You will both benefit by knowing about and developing respect for each other’s principles. This knowledge can give you a better understanding of your partner and help you to present a united front with your children. Before you

It’s Spring!Let’s PlantSome Principles

When working with parents in family therapy, I often begin by asking them what guides them in parenting their children. I hear that they want their kids to be “good citizens” or “productive members of society”, or “educated and have a family”. When we explore what it means to be “a good citizen”, principles begin to surface.


Activity PrinciplesModel conflict resolution, following instructions and an openness to feedback.

Cooperation Self-improvement

Demonstrate respect for your children’s teach-ers and others in authority.

RespectIntegrity

Plan and prioritize times to gather as a family.

ConnectivityPlay

Treat your family the way that you want them to treat you and others.

Kindness Compassion

Expose your family to different points of view and diverse cultures and traditions.

CuriosityAcceptance

Participate in the community as a family by volunteering your time and energy.

InterdependenceService to others

Express your feelings and share emotional expe-riences.

EmpathySelf-acceptance

Here are some activities you can use tobring your principles to life with your children

begin to set the groundwork with your children, here are a few preparatory steps to take:

Spend time reviewing your principles with each other. Let any differences add richness to the discussion. Remember, neither parent has to “bend” to the oth-ers point of view, but respecting each other’s principles is important.

Let your kids know that you, as their parents, are in charge and that you have positive expectations for their behav-ior.

Work together to identify the top 3-4 principles of each parent (single parents can do this with a close friend or another single parent).

Next we can focus on the children.

6. Exercise and stretch moderately (away from your desk if possible) to reduce the possibility of blood clots, varicose veins, and swelling of the feet and legs. Avoid heavy work and lift-ing, as well as heavy exercise. Swim-ming is a good exercise for pregnant women. Put your feet up at night.

7. Breathe clean air. Do not smoke or allow yourself to be near sec-ondhand smoke; it is very harmful to you and the baby. Exposure to smoke can cause abortion, prema-ture birth, and low birth weight.

8. Don’t drink alcohol at all. There is no safe amount of alcohol during pregnancy. Even if your OB says it’s fine, don’t. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) causes severe retardation and birth defects, and it can be caused by small amounts of alcohol.

9. Don’t take any medications or herbs including over the counter products - unless approved by your doctor, especially during the first two months of pregnancy. Harmful drug exposure may cause low birth weight, nervous system damage, and physi-cal malformations to the baby such as heart problems and cleft palate. 10. Limit your exposure to video dis-play terminals and microwaves.

Taking care of yourself is the most important job you have for taking care of your baby! This is good practice for when your baby arrives and will help you prevent mommy burnout.

Shoshana Bennett, Ph.D. Author, Postpartum Depression For Dum-mies.

10 Timely Tips for Working While PregnantContinued from page 3

You will both benefit by knowing about

and developing respect for each other’s

principles. This knowledge can give you a

better understanding of your partner and

help you to present a united front with

your children.


We all have behavior to change. Chil-dren need to learn to go to bed without struggling, eat

their vegetables, do their homework, and the list goes on and on. Parents too have behaviors that if changed would lead to everyone

feeling happier and healthier. A parent may need to increase their exer-cise to improve their overall health, create and keep an

organized kitchen or work area, or get along better with a grouchy relative. Adult behavior change

options are as long as the children’s list. And as far as change goes, two things typically happen. First, only one person’s behavior is deemed

“bad” and in need of change signaling that this family

member is personally at fault. Secondly, fami-

lies often just focus on changing behav-ior after a crisis has occurred such as calls home from school or a poor medical report.

R e g u l a r l y - only targeting thewith the issue How-

ever, just Imagine the pos-s i b i l i -t i e s i f

e v e r y -one in the family got i n -

v o l v e d a n d worked to change a behavior that was causing problems in their lives –even when the behavior problem is not at crisis level! This doesn’t mean that every-body in the family helps one person change a behavior; it means that everybody helps everyone in the family change a particular behavior. You will become the family that can improve their individual and family life, instead of the family that just waits for things to get better for the individual child. A child with a behavioral problem is a family issue, so solving it as a family, is most effective.

Furthermore, if you work on changing behavior together as a family, the benefits are enormous. Not only will the problem-atic behavior be no more but also this team approach will have lasting ben-efits. These benefits include:

Parents are modeling a true “Yes I Can” attitude in deal-ing with life struggles and fostering the belief that positive change is possible.

B e h a v -ior is

Improving Behavior One Family at a Time

by Julia M. Rahn, Ph.D.


likely to change more quickly if all members of the family are working as a team to help one another.

You child learns the “How To’s” of behavior change so they can use them when they want to change an unwanted behavior in the future.

Your child feels loved, not ostra-cized, and truly knows you care, not ostracized,by the personal time, emo-tion, and energy you invest in the be-havior change process.

Healthy behaviors often lead to more healthy behaviors. Once someone feels good about a personal change, other life issues can be addressed with positive results and an increase in positive self esteemself-esteem.

To begin to make the all of the above a reality, first gather all of the adults involved and get your calendars out. As long as a behavior in question it is not yet at crisis level, it is suggested that you find a week that is fairly light scheduling-wise to start, such as after the holidays, after school-wide exams, or during summer break. (Please note: If a family member’s behavior is at the crisis level, adults will need to alter their schedule to make behavior change a priority). Once a week has been found, a start date should be set, and all of the family members need to meet to create a family behavior change program.

The following tips will help ensure behavior change success:

Pick Goals With family input, each member of

the family should pick one goal to help change behaviors in question. All goals should be stated in the manner that ev-eryone is trying to add a positive behav-ior into their lives. Goals should also be designed so that they can be measured in order to monitor progress. For example, Alison will work on handling her anger in a socially appropriate way (use her words, talk to a teacher, count to 20 be-fore deciding her next best move, etc). Tyree will exercise 20 minutes a day to help curb his anxiety and write in his journal about the day’s ups and downs before going to bed. Kelly will add two fruits and one vegetable and 20 minutes of walking a day. Jack will be rewarded for studying and/or doing homework for 20 minutes a day. Mom, who struggles getting to places on time, will work to get to appointments 10 minutes ahead of schedule. Dad, who seems to always lose his stuff and then yells at everyone when he can’t find his keys, will spend at least 15 minutes each day organizing his belongings.

Monitor Progress Once a goal and start date

have been chosen, the

This doesn’t mean that everybody inthe family helps one person change abehavior; it means that everybody helpseveryone in the family changea particular behavior.

next step is to design a tracking system which will show how everybody is doing each day with reaching their goal. A chart or a special calendar should be used for daily tracking of each person ’s goals. The chart is easily designed and should be located in a visible place so that everyone can see each other’s (progress (e.g., refrigerator, frequently traveled hallway, by the family television, etc). Each night a family member is to check-in with every-body and then record

continued on page 10

10 FamilyWorks Magazine - March & April, �010 www.familyworks.org

whether or not progress was made, or family members can record their own progress. ress was made, or family members can record their own progress.

RewardAll behavior change takes work and while the new behavior

will eventually produce positive feelings and additional life benefits, often each step towards change must be rewarded to keep the behavior change process going. Each member of the family should choose (with parent input of course) what reward they want when a behavior is changed. Rewards for achieving weekly (even daily in some cases) goals should be considered as part of the overall change program. Furthermore, family members should always be on the lookout for times to say “good job” or give a high five when a family member is working on their goal. Families could even have a tally system for tracking how often positive praise is given and a family reward given at the end of the week if a certain number of

positive praise was reached. Now is the time to create positive change, as behaviors

don’t change themselves by hoping or wishing for it. Let yourself dream of family members supporting one another, celebrating each other’s successes and putting negative behaviors in the past. Once these dreams are ful-ly in mind, create a family change plan as detailed above. Remember that behavior change is a process whereby little changes over time can lead to bigger changes, and that nothing is achieved without effort. Positive efforts bring about positive outcomes. The change process is

Improving Behaviorcontinued from page 9

Affordable & Adjustable Fees(415) 492-0720 www.familyworks.org

Parenting & Counseling ServicesStrengthening Relationships... For a Lifetime

We Can Help With: We Offer:

John T. Smith, DDS915 Sir Francis Drake Blvd., San Anselmo

(Across from Red Hill Shopping Center)

415-453-1666

Family Dental Care

simple but does take time, commitment, and persever-ance by everybody involved. Everyone’s involvement will add more meaning, care, and fun into the process for the benefit of all.

Dr. Julia M. Rahn is a clinical psychologist, speaker, coach, and founder of Flourish Studios® – a multi-faceted learning gallery. Focusing on Positive living, Education, Arts, and Retail (PEARs) Julia has designed a center that helps families and individuals live their best lives. To find out more about Dr. Julia and Flour-ish Studios®, please visit www.icanflourish.com or call 773-281-8130.

Now is the time to create

positive change, as behav-

iors don’t change them-

selves by hoping or wish-

ing for it.

FamilyWorks Magazine - March & April, �010 11www.familyworks.org

Child-Centered Co-ParentingParents who are living apart learn how to raise their children harmoniously, keep children “out of the middle” and safely in each of their lives. Parents attend separate classes and learn to:

• Deal with each other respectfully

• Increase cooperation

• Make co-parenting decisions calmly

• Divide child-rearing tasks equitably

• Manage constantly shifting schedules

• Stop tantrums and dawdling

• Design consequences that work

• End rudeness & backtalk

Seven Tuesday evenings: March 16 - April 27, 2010Earn a certificate of completion at graduation.

P o s i t i v e& P e a c e f u l ParentingLearn Keys to Increasing:• Cooperation • Self-esteem • Responsibilty• Communication • Respect • Discipline

Viewing Life Today• Being a Proactive Parent • Identifying Your Universal Principles

Growing Great Kids• Understanding How Kids Work • Ensuring Goodness of Fit• Making Work Fun

Listening and Talking• Listening Effectively• Decreasing Impulsive Behavior

Problem Solving that Gets Results• Using the Magical “When...Then”• Designing Charts that Get Results• Revamping “Time Out”

Feeling More Confident• Being Positive and Persistent• Sharing Successes• Setting Positive Consequences

Four Tuesday evenings:April 6 - 27, 2010Earn a certificate of completion at graduation.

Parenting Programs

www.familyworks.org 415-492-0720

StrengtheningRelationships...For a Lifetime

Strengthening Relationships... For a Lifetime


Therapy and Life Skills Center

ExploringMotherhoodFor Expectant & New Mothers (and infants birth to 9 months).Spanish speaking group: Tuesdays, 10 a.m. to noon at Marin Community Clinic in Novato.English and Spanish speaking groups Thursdays 10 AM to Noon at Marin Community Clinic in San Rafael. • Share experiences, ideas, and support

• Learn about pregnancy and new parenthood

• Learn how to increase infant health & happiness

• Learn ways to manage change and decrease stress

• Reduce anxiety and depression

Free!

1� FamilyWorks Magazine - March & April, �010 www.familyworks.org

Family Therapy and CouplesCounseling Concerns, hopes and dreams, as well as practical and effective relationship tools are explored. The result is increased understanding and empathy, more cooperation and more fun in family life through:

• Managing Child Behavior• Resolving Hurts and Conflicts• Dealing with Anxiety, Depression and Addictions• Sharing Child Rearing • Planning for Play• Managing Anger• Creating Cooperative Responsible Children

AssessmentUsing temperament profiles and developmental assessments, parents and children will learn positive skills and design behavior plans that maximize each child’s potential. Therapists consult with teachers and parents, developing behavioral interventions that work at home, play and school. Therapists are available to make home-visits, school observations and attend IEP meetings. Mental health screenings for anxiety, depression, AD/HD, etc. are available.

IndividualUtilizing a variety of theoretical approaches, FamilyWorks’ therapists help individuals to develop healthy life skills and increase their social-emotional well being. We are skilled in helping with a broad range of relationship and psychological issues, including:

• Life Stage Transitions• Anxiety• Abuse• Depression• Anger & Conflict• Improved Self-Esteem• Grief & Loss• Stress

Therapy with ChildrenWith Child-centered “playrooms,” and a wide variety of expressive arts, including FamilyWorks’ specialized sand-tray materials, children “play” in ways that allow them to bring their thoughts and emotions to the surface. As children’s experiences and knowledge are more and more freely communicated through play, the therapist works with those themes as a vehicle for self- acceptance and emotional regulation.

Therapy with TeensFamilyWorks’ skilled therapists work with adolescents to support their journey to adulthood. Using various forms of expressive arts therapy, interactive play/exercises and outdoor activities, teens find new ways to resolve problems, build greater self-esteem and enhance their social skills in ways that support their healthy growth and development.






Adjustable Fees

FamilyWorks Magazine - March & April, �010 1�www.familyworks.org





Therapy and Life Skills CenterFamily Interactive Therapy

F. I.T Services:When Family members want to improve communication and learn problem solving skills, Family Interactive Therapy at FamilyWorks, offers a unique program.

Family Meeting

Individual Counseling

Initially the parents share concerns with their therapist, followed by an opportunity for the entire family to set and meet their goals. Then, individual family members may be interviewed. An action plan is designed to meet the needs of each individual and the entire family.

Families may choose to benefit from the one way mirror option, in which child development assessments are made and family members can practice the skills they are learning with the assistance of a FamilyWorks Therapist. Parents may receive guidance through an ear bud as the therapist observes interactions through the one-way mirror.

One-way Mirror Option


Support for Individuals with Disabilities

Independent Living Skills

Parenting Support Services






CPR & First Aid Classes

• Parenting and Co-Parenting

• Childbirth Education

• Child Development and Family Planning

• Behavior Management and Stress Reduction

• Early Intervention in Postpartum Depression

• Positive and Peaceful Discipline

• Family Health Promotion and Hygiene

• Injury Prevention, Nutrition, and Exercise

• Household Management, and Transportation

• Financial Management and Budgeting

• Development of Social Support Systems

• Linkage with Others Services

• Academic Growth

• Behavior Management

• Stress Reduction Skills

• Injury Prevention

• Nutrition

• Health Promotion and Exercise

• Hygiene and Self-care

• Housekeeping

• Transportation Skills

• Community Access

• Employment Readiness

• Financial Management and Budgeting

• Development of Social Support Systems

Saturday, April 27, 2010

CPR - 9:30 AM to 1:00 PMFirst Aid - 1:15 to 4 PM

Learn infant, child and adult choke-saving and CPR and how to apply these skills in emergencies. You will have hands-on practice, receive

a CPR skill book and a National Safety Council Certification upon completion.


My daughter recently went on an ex-change trip with her teachers and class-mates. She was out of the country for ten days without her dad, her siblings, or me. She did great. In fact, she was so excited that her bag was packed a full week before her trip. As she calmly hugged and kissed us good-bye, I took time to reflect on how she arrived in that place of calm confidence. How do parents prepare their kids?

Start Small and Build from There Encourage your child to explore and

challenge herself. Think of when your child learned to ride a bike; you didn’t have her start on a hill. You had her start on a flat surface. If you were like me, it was grass.

I never would have considered send-ing my daughter out of the country when she was eight or nine, but I did send her away to overnight camps so that she could get used to being apart. She was away longer each consecutive year; her confidence and independence grew. In turn, I learned to let go a little more each time.

A Great Camp Experience:Five Ways to Prepare Our Kids By Judy M. Miller

Admit and Face your Fears Your child absorbs your fears, just

like she absorbs your values and sense of humor. What are you afraid of? Yes, bad things can happen. They can hap-pen anywhere at any time. How will she test herself and gain confidence in her abilities if she is fearful or not able to overcome real or perceived obstacles? Remember that far more good things happen than bad. Try to model confi-dence and a positive outlook.

Teach your Child Safety and to Look Out for Others.

Safety is a key issue with all parents. We begin teaching safety as soon as our children join us. I didn’t put my child on a plane and say, “See you later.” I prepared her through the years on mat-ters like staying with her group, always having a buddy, no talking to strangers, being aware of her surroundings, wash-ing her hands, looking both ways before she crossed the street—you get the idea. We talked about other situations that might come up. Kids would be together in close contact for a long period of

Choosing a Camp: Myths and FactsBy Eve Eifler

We are constantly barraged with information about camps - from maga-zines and emails, to headline news and parents talking on the sidelines at little league. Sometimes it’s hard to separate fact from fiction. You will want to know what’s true and what’s not as you answer the all-important question, “What will I do with my kids next summer?” To help guide you, I’ve compiled a list of myths vs. facts about camps.

Myth: “Overnight camp is only for the rich.”

Fact: The truth is that there is a camp out there to fit every budget. And, if you plan ahead, you can take advantage of early enrollment dis-counts and financial aid. By applying early, it is possible to get a 20-50% discount off of camp tuition, based on need. Private camps tend to be more expensive, so contact camps run by your local county government or agen-cies like the Campfire Boys and Girls, the Jewish Federation, Boys

continued on 16 continued on 16


Scouts and Girl Scouts, the Jewish Community Center, and the Salvation Army. Lastly, inquire about shorter sessions and discounts for multiple children from one family.

Myth: “Only I know what is best for my child.”

Fact: It is tempting for us (espe-cially if we are former campers) to re-create our own camp experience for our child. While the saying, “Mother knows best”, is true in most circum-stances, some input from your child is the best approach when choosing a camp. Involving the child in the camp research may produce unexpected results. Maybe you think an all boys’ camp is the best place for your son, but he may want the opportunity to make friends with girls in a relaxed setting. You may think your daughter wants to

be at a camp that specializes in art and drama because that is what she enjoys, but maybe she wants to improve her tennis game this summer. Ask your child, “Do you want to build on your existing strengths and interests this summer or try something new?” Be open to the unexpected!

Myth: “If I send my child to camp with a friend, it will make her more comfortable.”

Fact: What outwardly seems to provide a safety net has its pitfalls. A friend can sometimes act as a barrier to your child’s making new friends. All too often, one of the campers has a dif-ficult time. The other child then feels responsible for the friend, which can be extremely burdensome. In addition, your child may choose his activities based upon his friends’ interests, rather than his own. It is important to weigh the comfort of going with a friend with the possible drawbacks. If going with

a friend is the only way your child will try camp, it might be worth it. Just prepare your child with possible scenarios and provide him with the problem-solving strategies.

Myth: “A Sports camp – rather than a traditional camp – is the best place for my child.”

Fact: Sports camps focus on teach-ing technical skills, not necessarily life skills. A child goes to this type of program to work on the skills for one sport (or for the art form, or for drama, etc.), rather than to be part of a com-munity found in a traditional camp. Parents should not make the mistake of thinking a specialty camp will neces-sarily provide counselors to take care of a homesick child. The coaches and instructors are there to teach skills, not to help your child to make a friend. Therefore, I usually recommend younger kids attend these

time and become edgy. There might be issues with privacy or a friend who was homesick.

Prepare Your Child to Adapt to New Surroundings and to the Unexpected

Talk to your child about what to ex-pect. A well-prepared child has knowl-edge and options to adapt if necessary. For example, my daughter was traveling where sanitation could be a problem and because of that food safety was a concern. Caution about what she ate and drank was paramount; eating and drinking like the locals would most

likely make her sick. Decisions about what she ate and drank would be hers. Because I wouldn’t be there to remind her, we role-played, important rules for my salad-loving girl, Fresh and unpeeled vegetables were not going to be an op-tion unless she was assured that they were washed with purified water.

Try Something New Doing something for the first time can

be scary. It can also be fun, exciting, and empowering. Show your child how to venture out and explore by model-ing – like trying a new food. Watching you try, explore, and discover instills courage in your child to do the same. Kids feel a sense of accomplishment when they have tried something new,

whether they like it or not. They grow from the exposure and experience. My daughter is proud that she traveled and experienced a different culture without her family. She’s ready to travel to a new destination again.

One of our jobs as parents is to give our children skill sets to navigate their worlds.

Knowledge and skills provide kids with a basis for building confidence and resilience that they will require as adults. Skills and confidence take time, but with your help, guidance, and encourage-ment, they’ll happen.

Judy M. Miller is a freelance writer living in the Midwest with her husband and four children.

Five Great Wayscontinued from 15

Choosing a Campcontinued from 15

continued on 18


programs with a friend.

Myth: “A one-week session is the best way to ease into an overnight camp experience.”

Fact: Sometimes it is the parent who sets a child up for an overnight camping failure by offering things like, “I will pick you up if you are unhappy,” or “Let’s just try this camp for one week to see how it goes.” Kids need a chance to feel homesick and get through it with the help of counselors and individual cop-ing mechanisms to feel successful about a camp experience. One week barely gives a child a chance to find their way around a camp, much less feel the tinge of missing Mom and Dad (or the family dog). A two to four week introductory session allows the child to be immersed in the daily routine of a new and safe place, build friendships that will carry over until the next summer, and feel the success of doing something totally on their own. Do the research right and feel comfortable with letting go!

Myth: “My son plays sports all year long, so I want to give him a break from the routine.”

Fact: While it is a nice break for some kids to fish and hike at camp, others just want to play ball! I advise parents to look for a camp that can provide the sports that the child likes, plus some new challenges that the parents might want for their child. Summer sports are far different than sports during the school year. There is less of an emphasis on winning. A child who can’t make the se-lect baseball or soccer team at home may shine in a camp environment. There are

no “helicopter parents” hovering over their kids or yelling on the sidelines. One camp director told me that at the beginning of each session, the campers focus much more heavily on the sports because this is how they are comfortable socializing. Yet, by the middle to end of the session, the kids are much more com-fortable to take risks – both athletically and socially. Whether it is up to bat or on the boat, these camps hire counselors who serve as role models to teach quali-ties like good sportsmanship, teamwork, and learning to lose gracefully.

Myth: “My friend is the best source for camp suggestions.”

Fact: While your friend may speak to her own child’s experience, camp advisors visit literally hundreds of camps each summer. Camp advisory ser-vices have years of experience addressing families’ questions and concerns. Advi-sors ask families the questions necessary to make sure the “fit” is right between the program and the child and provide families with list of questions to ask directors. These services are free, help-ing families to gather information, compare programs, and obtain references and feed-back from past par-ticipants. The breadth of information an advisory service can provide is invaluable.

When the t ime comes for choosing a

Choosing a Campcontinued from 16

Camp Tam at Homestead ValleyHomestead Valley Community Center offers a summer day camp in a beautiful setting at the foot of Mt. Tamalpais. Swimming, Hiking,

Sports, Drama, Art, Outdoor Education, Gardeningand more in a small-group atmosphere.

For children entering grades K through 5

Ten 1-week sessions (each with its own theme)June 21st – August 27th, Mon–Fri 9:00 – 4:00

(Optional pre and post-camp 8-9 am and 4-5 pm)Half-Day sessions also available

New! Spring Break CampApril 12 – 16 – Five Daily Sessions

(415) [email protected]

camp, there are a thousand questions to ask. But, it is important to ask the right questions and get the facts so that you can get the right fit for your child. (MJ suggests this as PQ). Once you have done this, the investment will provide you and your child with lifetime re-wards. Happy camping!

Tips on Trips and Camps is one of the oldest and largest camp advisory services. Established in 1971, “Tips” has FREE advisors in 16 cities, relation-ships with over 600 sleep away camps and programs, and each year provides advice and guidance to thousands of families. For more information and ad-vice, to request brochures and DVDs, or to speak to a knowledgeable consultant, visit www.TipsonTripsandCamps.com.


Bar 717 RanchFounded in 1930, the Bar 717 Ranch offers children ages 8-16 the opportunity to spend the summer on a beautiful mountain ranch. Campers choose freely from activities including horsemanship, backpacking, gardening, animal care, river swimming, arts and crafts, photography, music, drama, archery, blacksmithing and ceramics. 530-628-5992, www.bar717.com

Bay Area Discovery Museum Small classes, BIG fun! Join the Bay Area Discovery Museum in Sausalito this summer for non-stop fun and adventure for 3 to 8-year-olds. Sign up for a different Discovery Camp each week, including Treasure Hunts and Shipwrecks, Superheroes and Heroines, On the Bay and Art Attack! (415) 339-3900.

Camp Tam at Homestead ValleyIn a beautiful setting at the foot of Mt. Tamalpais for children entering grades K through 5. Swimming, hiking, sports, drama, art, gardening/outdoor education - group-building through games and projects most of all, the FUN of just being a kid!! Weekly sessions (M-F 9 AM-4 PM) June 21-August 27 Extra care available. 415.388.0128.

Camp Winnarainbow Ages 7-14. Classes in the circus and performing arts include trapeze, clowning, tightrope, juggling, unicycling, stilt-walking, gymnastics, theater, hip hop, martial arts, magic, music, art, basketball court, nature walks, environmental and multi-cultural awareness. Beautiful lake with 350’

waterslide, year-round stream and lodging in canvas tipis. 707-984-6507.

Devil’s Gulch RanchWe offer boys and girls opportunities to connect with and explore agriculture, the redwoods, grasslands, and creeks of West Marin. Campers help with farm chores, feed and care for our animals, learn traditional skills, and discover the outdoors. We emphasize free play, nature awareness, agriculture, and outdoor recreation. 415-662-1099, www.dges.org, [email protected]

Kids On Camera TV/Film Acting Day CampAge 4-14. Lights, camera, fun! Weeklong award-winning camps


707/984-6507www.campwinnarainbow.orgemail: [email protected]

As seen in the New York Times & Nick News

For 35 years, children have run away to joinour circus in beautiful Mendocino County!

Kids learn respect for themselves, others and theenvironment through our multicultural curriculum

of circus and performing arts.Directed by Wavy Gravy and Jahanara Romney

�0 FamilyWorks Magazine - March & April, �010 www.familyworks.org

Award Winning • 29th YearComedy, Characters & Costumes, VoiceoverSAN RAFAEL, SAN FRANCISCO, EAST BAY

June/July/Aug

Marin YMCA • www.ymcasf.org/marinFor more information contact Dana McCune at 415-446-2140.

Join us at YCAMP this summer for:SWIMMING • GAMES • CRAFTS

COMMUNITY OUTREACH • TEAM BUILDING FIELD TRIPS • SPORTS • ADVENTURE

and SPECIALTY CAMPS

Where the adventure begins!

TV/Film Acting CampAges 4-18

415.440.4400www.kinds-on-camera.com

FamilyWorks Magazine - March & April, �010 �1www.familyworks.org

acting, improv, photo modeling. Improve communication skills, build confidence. 9:30AM-3:15PM. Extended care 8AM-6PM. Marin: July/Aug, San Rafael, St. Raphael School, 1100 5th Ave. San Francisco: June 28-July 2, 9th Ave near Geary & 19th Ave. Judy Berlin 415-440-4400 www.kids-on-camera.com $300-370

Lycée Français la PérouseFUN SUMMER CAMPS ALL IN FRENCH! | age 3-12 | At the Lycée Français la Pérouse, campers improve their French skills through a variety of art activities (acting, singing, dancing,…) and sports (Soccer, volleyball, basketball,…) every week of camp is a new challenge with wonderful shows!

camps for ages 5 - 7, 8 - 12, and teenagers. Locations in San Rafael, Ross, and Novato. Also check out our popular Tennis/Drama camp. Details at www.marinShakespeare.org, or phone 415/499-4487.

Marin YMCA CampCampers aged 5-12 take part in activities that emphasize personal growth, skill development, and fun! Activities include swimming, fieldtrips, cooking, sports, crafts, and more! Sign up by the day, by the week, or even for half days. For more information contact Dana McCune at 415-446-2140 or visit www.ymcasf.org/marin.

San DomenicoYour best summer will be at San Domenico! We’re offering sports

More information at http://www.lelycee.org/camps/index.en.php Marin Horizon School Summer CampFun for children 3-8 yrs! Age 3: Gymnastics lessons by Spinners Gymnastics. Ages 4-5: Swim lessons at Homestead Pool! Ages 6-8: Swim & Capoeira lessons, Field Trips. Marin Horizon teachers; 8:1 student-teacher ratio. Soccer, arts & crafts, music, hikes, drama, cookouts. 9AM-3PM, ext. care till 5:30PM. 1/2-day option for 3-yr olds. 4 or 5 days/week. June 28th - Aug 6th. Sign up online: www.marinhorizon.org. Mill Valley. 415-388-8408 x224. [email protected]

Marin Shakespeare CompanyWe make Shakespeare fun! Marin Shakespeare Company offers summer

Summer Camps at Devil’s Gulch Ranch

Not your Ordinary Camp. An experience of a lifetime on a working diversified family farm.

Agriculture, Nature, Primitive Skills, Swimming, Rappelling,

Archery, Horseback Riding

[email protected] www.DGES.org (415) 662-1099


(Infant - 4.5 years)

®

415.456.6630

continued from page 19

�� FamilyWorks Magazine - March & April, �010 www.familyworks.org

SchoolSpotlight

students, attending Star Academy is life changing. Students go on to many wor-thy pursuits including two and four year colleges, vocational programs, full and part time work, the military and other productive endeavors.

Star Academy offers students a com-prehensive individualized program that combines classroom instruction, small group work and intensive one-on-one support from educational specialists, all in a nurturing, supportive environment conducive to learning. Star Academy is unique in the depth and breadth of its on-site specialist and therapy offerings. These include: speech and language therapy, occupational therapy, Slinger-land/Orton Gillingham therapy, multi-sensory programs for reading, writing and spelling, Making Math Real™, social skills groups, and Brain Gym among others. The individualized nature of Star’s program, which targets specific areas of need with a finely tuned plan, helps students accelerate their learning. It is not uncommon for students who enter Star one or more years below grade level in certain areas (reading, writing, spelling, or arithmetic) to be back at grade level or even above grade level within a few years at Star. Students with multiple moderate learning differences benefit by the increased rate at which

Star Academy is a highly specialized school for students with learning dif-ferences in grades 1-12. Located in San Rafael, Star Academy draws students from across the Greater Bay Area as well as students from out of state, who move to the Bay Area to access the program. For over 20 years Star Academy has proven time and again that students with multiple, complex learning differences can and will succeed when put in an educational environment that effectively addresses their individual learning needs and styles.

Most Star Academy students are of average to above average intelligence with multiple, often complex learning differences, such as dyslexia, speech and language difficulties, auditory pro-cessing disorder, AD/HD, Asperger’s Syndrome, social skills deficits and others. Such students benefit greatly from specialized multi-sensory teaching methods and may fall behind in school when such methods are absent. Parents who recognize the need for special education when the child is young may choose Star Academy beginning in 1st grade. Others may decide to wait and see how their child does in regular school and then later turn to Star when school becomes more demanding in 3rd grade, middle school or high school. For many

they master content, acquire essential skills and progress through school.

Star Academy provides physical and-creative outlets for students through daily PE and a comprehensive arts program featuring drawing, painting, sculpting, instrumental music, chorus, music appreciation, drama, culinary arts and, beginning next year, digital arts, thanks to a recent generous donation.

Star further enriches students’ lives through social activities and a highly effective social skills program. Many Star Academy students enter with social skills deficits making it hard to form and maintain friendships. Lacking friends

Star Academy Changes Lives for Students with Learning Differences

FamilyWorks Magazine - March & April, �010 ��www.familyworks.org

Schedule anappointment

with a

Need someone to talk to?

TherapistCALL

(�1�) ��-0��0

can be detrimental to a child’s sense of happiness and well-being and may be even more demoralizing than their academic challenges. Star helps students to develop social awareness, read social cues, develop and use appropriate social skills, and improve their language for better communication. Students are carefully paired and grouped throughout the day to help facilitate friendships and practice skills. Of the many gifts Star offers its students, perhaps the most

poignant is the joy of friendship.In 2007 a benefactor was inspired by

the life changing results Star Academy brings to its students. Wanting more stu-dents to have access to the program than the existing facility could accommodate, the benefactor donated a large building to Star, making it possible to grow from 35 students to about 80 students over time. In 2008 Star Academy relocated to its new home in San Rafael and each year adds about 10-20 new students to

the program as part of a managed plan to grow the school while preserving the quality and integrity of the existing program.

For more information about Star Academy, visit www. staracademy.org. Star offers monthly open houses for prospective parents and a fascinating speaker series on topics related to learn-ing differences, which is open to the public. Please contact the school for more information. (415) 456-8727.

camps, horseback riding, art, piano, Legos, woodworking, and outdoor adventures on our 500 acre campus in San Anselmo. Full and half day camps begin June 7. Lunch and extended care available. Call 415-258-1944 or visit sandomenico.org/summers for more info.

Wonder Valley Family CampLocated in the foothills of the Sequoia/Kings Canyon National Park. Family owned and operated, this award winning resort hosts families of all ages offering over 60 exciting activities including water-skiing, waverunners,

paintball, go-karts, horseback riding, swimming, themed evening adult and children’s programs, and much more. www.WonderValleyFamilyCamp.com (800) 821-2801.

continued from page 21

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