I hate when I have to drive someone around.

They always steal my purse’s seat.

Men: If you ever want to know what a woman’s mind feels like, imagine a browser with 2,857 tabs open.

All. The. Time.

I’m not avoiding housework.

In fact, I run into it all the time.

We’re just not speaking to each other right now.

Children who can read are 97.8% more likely to have correctly spelled tattoos when they grow up.

Adding “and shit” at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug.

Example: “I was playing with my bubbles and shit.”

I desperately want to go camping this summer.

Preferably in a hotel. With a pool. And a spa.

Grammar is important.For instance, commas save lives.

Let’s eat grandpa.

Let’s eat, grandpa.

I don’t have a Facebook or Twitter account, so I just go around announcing out loud what I’m doing at random times. I’ve got 3 followers so far, but I think 2 are cops.

Dear shaving commercials, stop shaving hairless legs.

If you want to impress us, please shave a bear.

If I ever go missing, I want my picture on beer cans rather than milk cartons.

That way, at least my friends will know I’m missing.

I hate it when you open the fridgeand can’t find what you’re looking for.

Like happiness. And perfect abs.

Sometimes, my greatest accomplishment is just keeping my mouth shut.

Check out . . .

http://www.infographicaday.com/motivational-bookmarks-index

Check out . . .

http://www.infographicaday.com/motivational-bookmarks-index