Fun at Call Centre 5875

7/30/2019 Fun at Call Centre 5875

1/21

SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEINGON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK

PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL

CENTRE GUYS R PAID


2/21

1 ) Tech Support : "I need you to right-clickon the Open Desktop."

Customer : "Ok."Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-upmenu?"

Customer : "No."

Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Doyou see a pop-up menu?"

Customer : "No."Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me

what you have done up until this point?"Customer : "Sure, you told me to write

'click' and I wrote 'click'."


3/21

2) Customer : "I received the softwareupdate you sent, but I am still getting the

same error message."Tech Support : "Did you install the

update?"

Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed toinstall it to get it to work?"


4/21

3)Customer : "I'm having trouble installing

Microsoft Word."Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."

Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the diskand tell me what it says."

Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer]Restore and Recovery disk'."

Tech Support : "Insert the MS Wordsetup disk."

Customer : "What?"Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"Customer: "No..."


5/21

4).Customer : "Do I need a computerto use your software?"

Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend

to smile)5).Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom

left hand side of the screen, canyou see

the 'OK' button displayed?"Customer : "Wow. How can you seemy screen from there?"

Tech support : ##### ***


6/21

6) Tech Support : "What type of computer doyou have?"

Customer : "A white one."

Tech support : ******_____####

7). Tech Support : "What operating systemare you running?"

Customer : "Pentium."

Tech support : ////-----+++

8). Customer : "My computer's telling meI performed an illegal abortion."

Tech support : ??????


7/21

9).Cus tomer : "I have MicrosoftExploder."

Tech Support : ?!%#$

10).Customer : "How do I print myvoicemail?"

Tech support : ??????


8/21

11). Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. Iurgently need to print document, but the computer

won't boot properly."

Tech Support : "What does it say?"

Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."

Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there afloppy inside?"

Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's

an Intel inside."

Tech support : @@@@@


9/21

12). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there'sa problem. We're open 24 hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

13). Tech Support : "What does the screensay now?"

Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER whenready'."

Tech Support : "Well?"

Customer : "How do I know when it'sready?"

Tech support : *** ---- ++++


10/21

14). A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech: What's the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.Tech: (keep quite)

Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix theproblem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

Tech support::

10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.

Tech support::(hush hush)Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented

DOScommand that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!Tech : Just add the line LOAD

NOSMOKECOMat the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
http://nosmoke.com/http://nosmoke.com/


11/21

10 minutes later.

User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.

Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User : MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come withNOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft

and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User : I need a new power supply.

Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?

Tech support : (hush hush)

User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he startedasking questions

about the make of power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.


12/21

15) customer care officer:I need a product identificationnumber right now and may I help u in

finding it out?

Cust: sure

CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?

Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette

out.

Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?Customer: Yes, sure, nothing happens, it must be

really stuck.Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note

Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted ityet...it's still on my desk... sorry .


13/21

Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' iconon to the

left of the screen.Customer: Is that your left or my left?

Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?Male customer: Hello... I can't print.

Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me

and.....Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting

technical on

me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it !


14/21

Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'.

I've even lifted the printer and placed it in frontofthe

monitor, but the computer still says it can't find

it...

Customer: I have problems printing in red ...

Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer?Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.


15/21

Helpdesk: What's on your monitor nowma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriendbought for me inthe supermarket.

Helpdesk: And now hit F8.Customer: It's not working.

Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you

told me, but

nothing's happening.


16/21

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?

Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 pacesback.

Customer: OKHelpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: YesHelpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.

Is there another keyboard?Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah ... that

one does work!


17/21

Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a asin

apple, a Capital letter V as in Victor, the number7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

A customer couldn't get on the Internet: -Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the rightpassword?

Customer: Yes I'm sure. I watched my colleaguedo it.

Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the passwordwas?

Customer: Five stars.


18/21

Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do youuse?

Customer: Netscape.Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus

program.

Customer: Oh, sorry ... Internet Explorer.

Customer: I have a huge problem.

A friend has placed screensaver on mycomputer, but

every time I move the mouse, it

disappears !


19/21

Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech Support, may I help you?Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hoursfor you.Can You please tell me how long it will take before

you can help me?Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand yourproblem?Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the helpbutton more than 4 hours ago.Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?


20/21

Helpdesk: How may I help you?Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be theproblem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter " a ", but

how do Iget the circle around


21/21

LIFE IS FUN

JUST KEEP

SMILING

Fun at Call Centre 5875

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