From the Inside Out: How Self-Talk Affects Your Community
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From the Inside Out: How Negative Self-Talk Affects Your Community Kat Toomajian Dreamwidth Studios LLC Misskat.dreamwidth.org :: @zarhooie #selftalkOSB Please have writing media available Paper and Pen, Computer, Stone Chisel etc
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Transcript of From the Inside Out: How Self-Talk Affects Your Community
From the Inside Out:How Negative Self-Talk Affects Your Community
Kat ToomajianDreamwidth Studios LLC
Misskat.dreamwidth.org :: @zarhooie#selftalkOSB
Please have writing media availablePaper and Pen, Computer, Stone Chisel etc
About Me
l Dreamwidth Studios LLCl Support Team Leadl Community and Volunteer Support
l Allstate Insurancel Total Loss Rental Coordinator
l Volunteerl Society for Creative Anachronisml Regional Manager for artwork distribution
l CONvergence Conl Operations Dept subhead for inter-department
communication
About Me
l Dreamwidth Studios LLCl Support Team Leadl Community and Volunteer Support
l Allstate Insurancel Total Loss Rental Coordinator
l Volunteerl Society for Creative Anachronisml Regional Manager for artwork distribution
l CONvergence Conl Operations Dept subhead for inter-department
communication
What is Negative Self-Talk?
l How we talk to and about ourselvesl Sometimes internall Sometimes externall Sometimes both
l Affects how you think about you
What effects might it have?
l Fewer contributionsl Higher turnoverl Less innovation
What does it look like?
l Impostor Syndromel Burn Out l Fade Outl Qualifying Statements
Impostor Syndrome
l That sinking feeling that at any moment, everyone in the room will know you're faking itl Reduces ownership of
successful thingsl Overburdens with
ownership for unsuccessful things
l Reduces risk-taking
Burn Out and Fade Out
l Brain cycles get spent on What-Ifsl Brain weasels are not cute
l Perceived failure might not actually be failure
l No path to start again
Qualifying Statements
l A qualified statement expresses some level of uncertainty about its own accuracy. – Stack Exchange
l Deferential statements
So now what?
l The basis of negative self-talk is a disconnection between the way you see yourself and the way you are seen by other people
l It's a warped mirrorl Create a better mirrorl External validation → Internal validation
External Action Items
l Kudos and other kinds of Positive Feedbackl Tangible and Intangible
l AO3 Kudosl Totts Tokens
External Action Items
l Kudos and other kinds of Positive Feedbackl Tangible and Intangible
l AO3 Kudosl Totts Tokens
External Action Items
l Dreamwidth Specificl Dreamwidth Points
l “Fake Dreamwidth Money”l Support Points
l Indicator on Profilel Purely quantitative
l Code Amnesty
External Action Items
l Dreamwidth Specificl Dreamwidth Points
l “Fake Dreamwidth Money”l Support Points
l Indicator on Profilel Purely quantitative
l Code Amnesty
External Action Items
l Minimal Group Paradigml Minor connections based on arbitrary
characteristicsl Small groupsl Safe space
l Stretch Positionsl Encourage responsibilityl Active mentoringl Allow failure
External Action Items
l Minimal Group Paradigml Minor connections based on arbitrary
characteristicsl Small groupsl Safe spacel Stretch Positionsl Encourage responsibilityl Active mentoringl Allow failure
External Action Items
I used to be really be very hard on myself if I thought I wasn't accomplishing something or reaching a certain level.
External Action Items
Be with your failures. They're just as educational and just as opening to the process as the success is.
External Action Items
Your failures are okay, too.
External Action Items
Ways to Fail Exploration and Development
Fail Publically Things Real Dreamwidth Developers Do
External Action Items
Ways to Fail Exploration and Development
Fail Publically Things Real Dreamwidth Developers Do
External Action Items
Ways to Fail Exploration and Development
Fail Publically Things Real Dreamwidth Developers Do
External Action Items
l Reduce qualitative statementsl Validate contributor
and contributionl Encourage positive self-care activitiesl It's ok to be selfishl Take care of YOU
Maybe let's not
External Action Items
l Reduce qualitative statementsl Validate contributor
and contributionl Encourage positive self-care activitiesl It's ok to be selfishl Take care of YOU
Maybe let's not
External Action Items
l Reduce qualitative statementsl Validate contributor
and contributionl Encourage positive self-care activitiesl It's ok to be selfishl Take care of YOU
Maybe let's not
External Action Items
Internal Validation
l Stop making those qualifying statementsl Immediately restate
without qualifiersl More assertivel Better opportunities
l Being a better leader and advocate
l Self-directed positive feedback
Internal Validation
l Stop making those qualifying statementsl Immediately restate
without qualifiersl More assertivel Better opportunities
l Being a better leader and advocate
l Self-directed positive feedback
Internal Validation
l Stop making those qualifying statementsl Immediately restate
without qualifiersl More assertivel Better opportunities
l Being a better leader and advocate
l Self-directed positive feedback
Internal Validation
l Stop making those qualifying statementsl Immediately restate
without qualifiersl More assertivel Better opportunities
l Being a better leader and advocate
l Self-directed positive feedback
3-2-1 Technique
l Let's talk about 3-2-1l Think about a recent project
l Making dinner, setting travel plans, writing code
3-2-1 Technique
l Let's talk about 3-2-1l Think about a recent project
l Making dinner, setting travel plans, writing codel Three things
l Likedl Did welll Are proud of
3-2-1 Technique
l Two thingsl That you're not happy aboutl Want to do better
3-2-1 Technique
l Two thingsl That you're not happy aboutl Want to do better
l One thingl To do differently next time
3-2-1 Technique
l The Why of 3-2-1l Self-guidedl No judgementl Criticism sandwichl Path to move forwardl Multiple applications
l Art, code, time management
3-2-1 Technique
l Resultsl Increased participationl Increased qualityl Improved self-awareness
l A better mirrorl What do I think of me?
3-2-1 Technique
l Do nothingl Provide another perspectivel Apply external techniques as necessary
In Conclusion
l Keep an eye out for itl Have some tools in your toolbox you can use
l Provide people with tools they can use themselves
Questions?
