from Dennis Grigassy #1606 MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY …Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe...
1
Submitted by various of my clients ... Real Answers Given in a Bible Knowledge Test. 1. The first book of the Bible is Guinness's. In the book of Guinness Adam and Eve were created from an apple. 2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was Joan of the Ark. Noah built the ark and the animals came on in pears. 3. Moses went to the top of Mount Cyanide to get the 10 Commandments. 4. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. 5. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. 6. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night. 7. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles. 8. The greatest miracle in the bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he actually obeyed him. 9. Unleavened bread is bread made with no ingredients. 10. A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony. 11. Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol. 12. Solomon had 100 wives and 700 porcupines. 13. The epistles were the wives of the apostles. 14. When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta. 15. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived they found Jesus sacked in the manager. 16. The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels. 17. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage. Things have gotten so bad I've received a letter from Reader's Digest to say I've not been included in their prize drawing. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. Everything in moderation including moderation. A woman offered to fulfil my ultimate fantasy for $100. I asked her to paint my house. I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. I was a man trapped in a woman’s body. Then my Mother went to the hospital and I was born. You know that there are indestructible black box recorders used on planes, so why can't they make the whole plane out of the same material? It pays to get your retaliation in first. Why should I pay outrageous prices for ski trips when I can stick my face in the freezer and fall down on the kitchen floor. Always remember you're unique – just like everybody else. FUN STUFF ... from Dennis Grigassy #1606 You are receiving this because you are a friend of Dennis Grigassy June 2016 Running Low on Business Cards? Call or Email me! Check out our re-designed website www.AABP.com ... more Fun Stuff next time Dennis Grigassy, Sr. ® Texas REALTOR THE ACE HERNANDEZ TEAM Cell 832.338.5339 Office 281.762.6757 • Fax 281.201.4520 [email protected] 224 FM 359, Richmond TX 77406 www.DennisGrigassy.com I have two businesses I am the in Stafford ~and~ I am also a in Richmond Owner of All Aboard Business Printing ® Texas Realtor associated with Manor Lane Properties Email: [email protected] - Fax: 281.201.4520 - Cell: 832.338.5339 Website: www.DennisGrigassy.com Need something Printed? Call or Email me! Want to Sell or Buy a house? Dennis Grigassy, Sr. [email protected] Cell 832.338.5339 F o r i C s u u n r l s e d l B s a C o s l and other printed items ... including Business Cards - Envelopes - Computer Checks NCR Forms - Brochures - Receipt Books Labels & Stickers - Self-Inking Stamps Since 1981 Business Printing All Aboard! Fax 281.201.4520 PO Box 1911 Stafford TX 77497 Dennis Grigassy’s www.AABP.com FunStuff-201606 Tuesday, May 31, 2016 2:44:56 PM
Transcript of from Dennis Grigassy #1606 MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY …Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe...
Submitted by various of my clients ...
Real Answers Given in a Bible Knowledge Test.
1. The first book of the Bible is Guinness's. In the book of Guinness Adam and Eve were created from an apple.
2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was Joan of the Ark. Noah built the ark and the animals came on in pears.
3. Moses went to the top of Mount Cyanide to get the 10 Commandments.
4. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
5. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
6. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night.
7. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.
8. The greatest miracle in the bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he actually obeyed him.
9. Unleavened bread is bread made with no ingredients.
10. A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony.
11. Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
12. Solomon had 100 wives and 700 porcupines.
13. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
14. When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
15. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived they found Jesus sacked in the manager.
16. The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
17. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
Things have gotten so bad I've received a letter from Reader's Digest to say I've not been included in their prize drawing.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Everything in moderation including moderation.
A woman offered to fulfil my ultimate fantasy for $100. I asked her to paint my house.
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
I was a man trapped in a woman’s body. Then my Mother went to the hospital and I was born.
You know that there are indestructible black box recorders used on planes, so why can't they make the whole plane out of the same material?
It pays to get your retaliation in first.
Why should I pay outrageous prices for ski trips when I can stick my face in the freezer and fall down on the kitchen floor.
Always remember you're unique – just like everybody else.
· Why is it when you dial the wrong number, it's never busy.
· It’s a small world but I wouldn’t want to paint it.
· Who invented the brush next to the toilet? That really hurts.
· How does the guy who drives the snow plough get to work in the mornings?
· Who discovered that you could get milk from cows? And what did he think he was going at the time?
· How come the winner of the Miss Universe competition is always from Earth?
· If anyone ever tells you they've lost their voice. They're lying.
· I’ve recently have taken up meditation. Well, at least it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.
· It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
· They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men know when they go out of fashion.
· Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
· The Universe is expanding. That should help ease the traffic.
· My positive thinking class was half empty.
· Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.
FUN STUFF ... from Dennis Grigassy #1606
You are receiving this because you are a friend of Dennis Grigassy
June 2
016
MERRY CHRISTMAS and to all!HAPPY NEW YEAR
Dennis Grigassy, [email protected]
Cell 832.338.5339
F o ri C su
u n rl
s e dl
B s a
C os
l
and other printed items ... including
Business Cards - Envelopes - ChecksNCR Forms - Brochures - Receipt Books
Labels & Stickers - Rubber StampsSince 1981
Business PrintingAll Aboard!
V/M 281.499.3000 Fax 281.201.4520PO Box 1911 Stafford TX 77497
www.AABP.com
Dennis Grigassy, Sr.®Texas REALTOR
THE ACE HERNANDEZ TEAM
Cell 832.338.5339Office 281.762.6757 • Fax 281.201.4520
224 FM 359, Richmond TX 77406www.DennisGrigassy.com
I have two businessesI am a
in Richmond
~and~I am the
in Stafford
®Texas Realtor
associated with Manor Lane
Properties
Owner of All Aboard Business
Printing
Email: [email protected] - Fax: 281.201.4520 - Cell: 832.338.5339Website: www.DennisGrigassy.com
Want to Sell or Buy a house? Call or Email me!Need something Printed?
Dennis Grigassy, Sr.THE ACE HERNANDEZ TEAM
Cell 832.338.5339Office 281.762.6757 • Fax 281.201.4520
224 FM 359, Richmond TX 77406www.DennisGrigassy.com
Now — the “Fun Stuff”...
Here it comes ...
Want to Buy or Sell a House?Call or Email me!
Running Low on Business Cards?Call or Email me!
Check out our re-designed websitewww.AABP.com
... more Fun Stuff next time
Submitted by various of my clients ...
MERRY CHRISTMAS and to all!HAPPY NEW YEAR
FUN STUFF ... from Dennis Grigassy
You are receiving this because you are a friend of Dennis Grigassy
CLICK HERE to go to the pdf file which contains the humor for this issue.New!
If you want to be removed from my e-blast list reply to this message with REMOVE as the subject. I hope you won’t though!
Dennis Grigassy, [email protected]
Cell 832.338.5339
F o ri C su
u n rl
s e dl
B s a
C os
l
and other printed items ... including
Business Cards - Envelopes - Computer ChecksNCR Forms - Brochures - Receipt BooksLabels & Stickers - Self-Inking Stamps
Since 1981
Business PrintingAll Aboard!
Fax 281.201.4520PO Box 1911 Stafford TX 77497
Dennis Grigassy’s
www.AABP.com
Dennis Grigassy, [email protected]
Cell 832.338.5339
F o ri C su
u n rl
s e dl
B s a
C os
l
and other printed items ... including
Business Cards - Envelopes - Computer ChecksNCR Forms - Brochures - Receipt BooksLabels & Stickers - Self-Inking Stamps
Since 1981
Business PrintingAll Aboard!
Fax 281.201.4520PO Box 1911 Stafford TX 77497
Dennis Grigassy’s
www.AABP.com
Dennis Grigassy, Sr.®Texas REALTOR
THE ACE HERNANDEZ TEAM
Cell 832.338.5339Office 281.762.6757 • Fax 281.201.4520
224 FM 359, Richmond TX 77406www.DennisGrigassy.com
I have two businesses
I am the
in Stafford
~and~I am also a
in Richmond
Owner of All Aboard
Business Printing
®Texas Realtor associated with
Manor Lane Properties
Email: [email protected] - Fax: 281.201.4520 - Cell: 832.338.5339Website: www.DennisGrigassy.com
Need something Printed? Call or Email me!Want to Sell or Buy a house?
Dennis Grigassy, [email protected]
Cell 832.338.5339
F o ri C su
u n rl
s e dl
B s a
C os
l
and other printed items ... including
Business Cards - Envelopes - Computer ChecksNCR Forms - Brochures - Receipt BooksLabels & Stickers - Self-Inking Stamps
Since 1981
Business PrintingAll Aboard!
Fax 281.201.4520PO Box 1911 Stafford TX 77497
Dennis Grigassy’s
www.AABP.com
FunStuff-201606
Tuesday, May 31, 2016 2:44:56 PM
