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Friendship and lovePresented by Group One

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Friendship

Enjoyment

Acceptance

Trust Respect

MutualAssistance

Confiding in

each other Understanding

Spontaneity

Love

Passion

Caring

Friendship versus Love

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Factors that increase

friendship:

Ben Franklin Effectafter helping another person welike them more.

Contact Hypothesisbringing enemies together leadstowards friendship.

Dilution Effectinformation about others reducestereotyping

Empathy-Altruism Hypothesisifwe feel empathy weare likely to help.

Law of Attractionsimilar attitudes lead to friendship

Mere Exposure theoryexposure to people increasesliking.

Pratfall Effectbeing clumsy makes you likeable.

Propinquity Effectmeeting and interacting increasechance of friendship

Repulsion Hypothesiswe prefer those with similarattitudes (and vice versa).

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Different stages

of Friendship

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SOCIAL-PENETRATION THEORY

OrientationStage

Exploratoryaffectivestage.

AffectiveStage

Stable Stage

Depenetration

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Levingers Stage Theory

Ending

Deterioration

Continuation / Consolidation

Build-up

Acquaintance / Attraction

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Stimulus-value-role model

Stimulus

Stage Evaluation of a

person in termsof physicalattributes

ValueStage

Comparison invalues happen; Ifcompatible witheach other, we

continue.

RoleStage

Sharing ofactivities to builda workingrelationship

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Terminating friendships

PositiveTone

Verbalde-

escalation

Behavioralde-escalation

NegativeIdentityManage

ment

Justification

Codysalternativestrategies

Relationship is fairlyhealthy, butdissatisfaction builds up

RelationshipPhase

The focus is on thefaults of the other

partner

Intraphysics

Phase

Breakdown nowcomes out into theopen

Dyadic Phase

The focus to the

perceptions of otherpeople.

Social Phase

The relationship nowgets its officialburying

GraveDressing

Phase

Ducks four-five stage model

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What is love? (Four Different

perspectives)

The physicist: Love is chemistry Biologically, love is a powerful neurological condition like hunger or thirst,

only more permanent.

The psychotherapist: Love has many guises

The ancients did not lump all the various emotions that we label "love"under the one word.

The philosopher: Love is passionate commitment The answer remains elusive in part because love is not one thing.

The romantic novelist: Love drives all great stories What love is depends on where you are in relation to it.

The nun: Love is free, yet it binds us

Love is more easily experienced than defined.

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What is real love? Real love is a conscious choice that

often employs the rational part of ourbrains.

Real love accepts that your partner isa fallible, imperfect human, just as youare.

Real love ebbs and flows in terms of

interest, ease, and feelings. Real love is based on shared values

and a solid friendship.

Real love is action.

Real love is a spiritual practice in thatyour focus is not how you can changeyour partner to alleviate your anger,pain, or annoyance but how you canassume full responsibility for thosefeelings and find healthy andconstructive ways to attend to them.

Real love is a lifelong practice.

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Theories about love

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Erich Fromms The Art of Loving

He identified four components of love:

Care - wanting the best for those we love Responsibility - being sensitive/responsive to needs

Respect - accepting them for who they are

Knowledge - being aware of needs/values/goals/feelings

B. He identified levels of development of love

Infantile love - I love you because I am loved

Immature love - I love you because I need you

Mature love - I need you because I love you

Erot ic love -deceptive love because it is soon exhausted

D. He popularized the idea ofsel f- love- you have to love

yourself in order to love others - i.e. think yourself worthy.

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STERNBERGS TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE

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STERNBERGS TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE

Components of love: Intimacy: sharing of

feelings and providing

emotional support for

each other.

Commitment: a sense

of attachment toanother person

Passion: linked with

physiological arousal

of the body

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LEEs Colours of love

Eros Romance

Ludos ConquestStorge Friendship

Pragma

Practicality

Mania Obsession

Agape -

Selflessness

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I finally understood what true love meant... love meant that you carefor another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how

painful the choices you face might be.

Nicholas Sparks, Dear John