Friends First Match Newsletter - Spring 2011
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Transcript of Friends First Match Newsletter - Spring 2011
F R I E N D S F I R S T
SPOTLIGHT ON… Kim & Joshua Reflecting on his match with Kim, which began January 2009 Joshua says, "I found a friend, a real close friend. I can talk to him about anything." Kim says of mentoring, "It's been good to have something regular and meaningful outside of work. But mostly it's just an excuse to run around and have fun like a teenager. Josh is the class clown and he makes me laugh a lot." Kim's favorite outings with Josh are the Friends First Camping trip, going to a car museum in Volo, IL, go-karting and going to see professional ball games. Josh‘s mother, Jessica, says, ―The time is never up with them. They tend to always find something to do by alternating who chooses what they‘ll do for the week. They‘ve made lots of memorable moments together.‖ Kim recalls one such moment. ―I'm sure it terrified the Friends First and campsite staff, but the time Josh and I capsized our rowing boat in the freezing cold lake on the camping trip was absolutely hilarious and a real bonding moment, even if it was humiliating to trudge out of the lake in wet clothes while all the other mentors gave me disapproving looks.‖ ―When we started out I could give Josh a decent game of basketball, but now he beats me easily." Basketball is Josh‘s favorite activity because, he says, "We both can do it. We laugh a lot—at each other mostly. We are both bad sometimes and mess up and laugh at each other." "Getting to know [Josh] has given me an opportunity to explore the city and feel at home here, even though I grew up in London,‖ says Kim. ―His mom Jessica, brother Lionel and dad Zinny have all made me feel like part of the family—particularly Jessica, who is a wonderful cook and whose chicken lasagna is to die for.‖ Kim shared his own cooking talents with Josh as well. ―We cooked a traditional English Sunday roast dinner of roast chicken, roast
potatoes and vegetables,‖ says Kim. ―Contrary to the bad rap English food gets, Josh enjoyed it, and that is high praise coming from someone who is so spoiled from food at home. The secret is to par-boil the spuds and fork them before roasting them in the chicken fat with garlic‖ Throughout their time together Joshua and Kim have introduced one another to interests and experiences from each of their cultural backgrounds. ―I've taught him some English slang, like ‗spuds‘ for potatoes,‖ says Kim, ―and made him a CD with some songs by, The Streets, to teach him the concept behind cockney rhyming slang (it's complicated). [And] I've tried to interest him in soccer.‖ Joshua says he has learned about other cultures through outings like going to the National Museum of Mexican Art in Pilsen. Whatever they do together, Joshua says he, ―just likes spending time with Kim‖. Joshua has introduced Kim to some new experiences as well. ―He took me to the roller rink near his home, which is definitely a black Chicago culture thing,‖ says Kim. ―Josh has his own boots with his nickname ‗Bootsy‘ on them and he and his brother are both strong skaters. Me? Not so much, although I managed, just about, to stay on my feet.‖ ―We tend to alternate movie choices and the music we listen to in the car,‖ says Kim. ―Josh plays me the latest hip-hop and black cinema and I try to introduce him to some older stuff.‖ Joshua says that Kim has taught him how to trust somebody. And, Joshua hopes he has taught Kim that, ―young people are not all the same. I have taught him that I am a good kid.‖ Kim says, ―I'd be amazed if Josh didn't think I was a bit square –he's a teenager—but I hope I've shown him that working hard and trying to make smart choices doesn't mean you have to lead a dull life; that in fact the reverse is true.‖ ―Josh has taught me to relax and not take things so seriously, and never to play a teenager at video games if you're a bad loser.‖ In considering how he‘s seen Joshua grow throughout their match, Kim says, ―Josh was charming and socially confident already, but I hope I've shown him some experiences that he might not otherwise have had, and that if he steps outside his comfort zone people will naturally warm to him.‖ ―I'd encourage mentors who are planning on making a new match when their current match comes to end to consider being paired with an older teenager like Josh, who might share more of your adult interests,‖ says Kim. Josh‘s advice for mentees is, ―Don‘t be shy; just try new things. You‘ll probably have fun.‖
Friends First is a program of Mercy Home for Boys & Girls
www.mercyhome.org
Spring 2011
Building Assets by Example
Donald is one of the Friends First program‘s most interesting mentors. For over twenty five years, he worked in the field
of industrial construction and found time with his wife to raise four children. The work was both time consuming and
physical. Unfortunately, Donald was injured on the job and had to redirect his life. He decided to go to college and
become a teacher. He was already involved in coaching sports on a voluntary basis and thought that becoming a teacher
would be an extension of the effort he was making with children in sports.
He began his college career in his middle forties at one of the local junior colleges. It is not easy to begin a new direction
in life at this age much less begin the long process of earning a bachelor‘s degree in history. After completing two years
of an associates degree, he began his final two years at the University of Illinois at Chicago. He got to know a teacher that
had a great influence on the direction of his collegiate work. He took an English 101 class and soon learned that the
teacher was disabled. He had lost his sight. The teacher made a great impression on Donald as another person that was
able to overcome adversity in life.
Donald was given a great asset in his life and now he has the ability to share this with his mentee through the Friends
First Program. He feels that one should never allow adversity to define one‘s life; rather, one should try to turn adversity
into something positive. He likes to share this attitude with his mentee. ~ Br. Paul McDonough
Mary Ann’s Moment Chicago is a city rich in cultural diversity deriving from
people who come from every corner of the world. So,
chances are that you are matched in Friends First with
some one who comes from a different background or
that some of your friends are from diverse cultures.
Embracing and exploring our differences can be a lot of
fun and educational, too, as we realize that we are all a piece of life‘s
beautiful mosaic.
Share stories about family elders and eat a meal or snack that is specific to
your family‘s ethnicity. Visit museums and shops that are geared toward
different cultures. Ask if you can take part in a friend‘s family tradition that
is not part of your own. Make a point to go to neighborhood festivals and
events so that you can hear music, sample foods and see crafts & artwork
that define different ethnic groups. You can even volunteer to help out at
one of these events to expand your knowledge and make new friends.
As you learn about differences you will also find similarities. The more you
learn about all people, the better your skills will become at navigating life
all over the globe. ~Mary Ann Pilet
Happy Anniversary!
Linda F. & Isadora C…….4/05
Gail S. & Amirra D………4/06
Kathy O. & Emilia B……..4/11
Scott Y. & Joshua M……..5/01
Julie J. & Monique W……5/15
CJ J. & David M………….6/07
Lori C. Sarah B…………...6/14
Elizabeth O. & Zitlaly G…6/14
Matt S. & Jordan M……...6/22
John C. & Carlos C………6/24
Allison R. & Desiree C…...6/28
We apologize if we have missed your
birthday. Please let us know so we can
add it to our calendar.
Welcome New Matches! We are pleased to welcome these new
matches and wish them all the best as they
start an exciting year together:
Susan K. & Anika R………..…1/08
Leticia H. & Jada K………..….1/09
Neil K. & Braxton W………….1/27
Kayla M. & Alicia Z…………..1/27
Meghan J. & Alisha W……….2/04
Friends First Fun Facts! Thoughts on Diversity...
Humanity – there is no they, only us. ~ The Virtues Project
We have the ability to achieve, if we master the necessary goodwill, a common global society blessed with a shared
culture of peace that is nourished by the ethnic, national and local diversities that enrich our lives. ~ Mahnaz Afkhami
I think we have to own the fears that we have of each other, and then, in some practical way, some daily way, figure
out how to see people differently than the way we were brought up to. ~ Alice Walker
Diversity in Action...
President Eisenhower passed the first civil rights bill through Congress since reconstruction in 1957.
WGPR-TV Detroit, first Black-owned station in US, begins broadcasting in 1975.
Ben Nighthorse Campbell of Colorado was the first person of Native American ancestry to serve in the U.S. senate.
Janet Guthrie was the first woman to race in the Indianapolis 500. Diversity Fun Facts...
The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
IN Albania, nodding your head means ―no‖ and shaking your head means ―yes.‖
In Tibet, it is considered polite to stick out your tongue at your guests.
In China, the dark shadows forming a face on the moon are seen as ―the toad in the moon,‖ not
―the man in the moon.‖ No Matter What Culture We Come From, We Have Some Things in Common...
We are all born with 300 bones, but when we become an adult, we only have 206.
We all need water & air to live.
Every person has a unique tongue print, just like fingerprints.
The human brain can hold 500 times the information in a set of the Encyclopedia Britannica. (We choose what we
put into it.) ~ Diane Venzera
A Picture of Diversity
“Diversity is the one true thing we all have in common. Celebrate it every day.” Diversity encompasses respecting, valuing and harnessing the richness of ideas, backgrounds and perspectives that are unique to
each individual. “We all should know that diversity makes for a rich tapestry, and we must understand that all the threads of the tapestry are equal in value no matter what their color.” Maya Angelou
Diversity Puzzle Supplies
Copy of puzzle, scissors, markers Action Cut the pieces apart. From the list below, choose 4 ideas to explore: 1. Food from a different culture 2. Music from a different genre 3. Holiday from a different culture 4. Different ways to say Hello 5. Sport you are not familiar with 6. Folk Dances 7. American Sign language 8. The word or symbol for Peace in
other languages or cultures Create a symbol or design to represent
each idea and assign each one to a
different puzzle piece. Draw or illustrate
the designs on the designated puzzle
pieces. Then admire the skill and talent
you showed in creating each individual
piece :-). Now put the puzzle together to
form one amazing picture of the beauty
of diversity.
Mask Making A mask is a remarkable object that
was used by several ancient
civilizations normally worn on the
face. They were typically used for
protection, disguise, performance
or entertainment.
Masks have been used for many, many years both for
ceremonial and practical purposes. But did you know that
they are now a form of art? Talk to your mentor about the
various cultures that have used masks in the past, pick your
favorite, and create your own!
What You Need
Heavy poster paper about 22" x 28" (can be smaller)
Pencils
Crayons, makers and/or Paint
Paintbrushes & containers for water
Scissors
Stapler
Feathers, beads, sequins, and other found objects
Glue
String or elastic
What You Do
1. Draw an oval shape on the large piece of paper. The
larger the better ... masks can cover more then just the
face. Cut the oval shape out of the paper.
2. At both the top and bottom of the oval, make a 1" cut.
(You will later take these cuts, fold the paper across
itself and staple so the mask has some dimension).
3. Draw and cut out where the eye holes and mouth and
nose holes (if any) are going to be.
4. Decorate the mask by using bright crayon colors or
bright paint colors.
5. Even more details can be added with magic markers
and crayons.
6. Now, where you made you made your cuts, fold the
paper and staple in place. This will give your mask
more dimension.
7. Glue found object decorations on the mask. Anything
from feathers and string to beads and tissue paper.
8. Staple string onto the mask so it can be tied around the
head.
Enjoy and share what you‘ve learn!
~ Yaresi Lopez
Kreative Kids Mariyah C. and
Colleen H. Mariyah and Colleen
showed off their
homemade board
game, Hayloc, during
the board game
making contest on
January 15th. They
constructed the game
f r o m r e c y c l e d
materials and art
supplies. Hayloc, a
name derived from a
combination of parts of both Mariyah‘s and Colleen‘s names, is a trivia
game with four different categories. Mariyah and Colleen
put in a lot of pre-contest-day preparation by looking up
trivia questions and answers online. Hayloc had its
inaugural game the day of the contest when its creators
guided another match and volunteers through a few
practice rounds. Everyone agreed that the game was a
success—it was creative, fun and challenging! ~ Amanda Sneed
Happy Birthday!!
April Anika R………………4/09
Joshua D……………...4/15
Tia M…………………4/23
May Emilia B…………..….5/09
Cherron P……………5/14
Jasean P……………...5/14
Curtis B……………....5/17
Joshua M……………..5/19
June None
We apologize if we have missed your
birthday. Please let us know so we
can add it to our calendar.
In celebration of National Mentoring Month, Friends First hosted a networking breakfast. The purpose was to celebrate mentorship, network with mentor and child referral sources, and to find out how to get involved as a mentor or mentee. Mercy Home for Boys and Girls‘ Jr. Board recently hosted their annual recruitment event for Friends First. Jr. Board members and current mentors were invited to bring a friend or colleague who might be interested in mentoring. Mercy Home was honored at the Bulls game by State Farm for our efforts in the community. Mercy selected two matches to represent the agency to receive the award. In addition to being on the court for the award, the matches (Jacob B., Tom E., Isadora C. and Linda F.) were courtside for the game, with some pre-game privileges to see warm up and to take pictures. Friends First Tidbits Adapted from http://www.ignitesparks.com/sparks_conversation.html Questions, Probes, Ideas and Follow-through
What does your name mean?—Look it up on the Internet.
What would it be like to learn the folk dances of Mexico or the folk songs of Bali?—Find a cultural center that may teach them.
What is a family tradition of yours? Can you celebrate that tradition in your match?
~ Mary Quinn We love your stories so please
keep sharing them with us!
Friends First Focus
Cultural Competence The Search Institute (www.search-institute.org)
acknowledges the importance of young people having
knowledge of and comfort with people of different
cultural, racial, ethnic backgrounds. Your match itself
might be representative of this asset—just by your own
background and history. Consider sharing with each
other your culture, traditions and that of your ancestors.
Visit a cultural museum to find out more—you‘ll likely
learn something new about yourself.
Friends First Fun! The Friends First 3rd Annual Basketball Tournament
hosted 10 matches playing ball while one match
participated in a ―Create Your Own Board Game‖
activity. This event allows for excellent competition
and good sportsmanship. There were some great
games, with three that went into overtime. Match
Jordan D. (mentee) and Peter R. (mentor), along with
Peter‘s brother Michael ,became this year‘s 2011 3 x 3
Champions!
Friends First hosted their 3rd Annual Career Day on
Saturday, February 26th. The day included guest
speakers who talked about their professional careers.
This year‘s speakers included a pharmacist, a retail
recruiter / buyer, an epidemiologist, a social worker /
pastor and a real estate consultant. Each speaker shared
the path they took that got them to where they are now.
Additionally, Friends First mentor, Beth, who is a Life
Coach, led the group through an exercise that
encouraged them to examine their passions. Mercy
Home‘s College Coordinator, Anne Johnson, spoke
about college, from what our young people should be
doing now to creative ways to visit campuses in order
to begin the process of thinking about and getting into
college. Finally, youth were paired with an adult to
have practice in a mock interview with feedback.
Friends First News
The Friends First team seeks to serve as many youth
with mentoring matches as possible. In this effort, the
team has been going out into the community and
making presentations about the program to sources that
might allow us to recruit potential youth and adults
who might become mentees or mentors in our program.
If you belong to a church, community center,
alumni group or other organization that you think
might be interested in hearing a presentation about
Friends First in order to get involved, please let us
know!
ME & MY M & Ms
I have always liked M & M‘s, the most
diverse multicultural integrated candy in the
world. You have your red ones, your yellow
ones, your orange ones, your brown ones,
and your green ones, (and the newest blue
ones). All are in one package, all co-existing together.
One color doesn‘t think that it is superior to the other,
one color doesn‘t discriminate against the other. All
colors are the same size, shape, and weight. All colors
look different on the outside, but have the same
ingredients on the inside. Wouldn‘t it be nice if like M
& M‘s, our prejudices melted into the abyss like
chocolate melts in our mouth? And all people were
judged by what was inside, rather than the color you see
on the outside??? If candy can be prejudice free WHY
CAN‘T WE??? ~ Dr. Marilyn Kern-Foxworth
Things that Make You Go “Hmmm?”
F R I E N D S F I R S T
A newsletter dedicated to building and supporting the Friends First community of Mercy Home for Boys & Girls. For more information, please call (312) 738-7552 or visit www.mercyhome.org.
F R I E N D S F I R S T
1140 W. Jackson Boulevard
Chicago, IL 60607-2906
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Cultural Diversity
Chicago is one of the best cities in the world to really explore diverse, enriching neighborhoods such as Chinatown,
Pilsen, Humboldt Park, Ukrainian Village, and many more. Our city is composed like a box of crayons. We have a
variety of upbringings to learn from.
For instance, did you know that in South Africa, if a male wants to propose to a female he would have to offer 11 cows
to the woman‘s father? Over, a decade ago, when Bill Clinton was our president, a guy from South Africa wrote to Bill
Clinton, offering him 11 cows to marry his daughter, Chelsea Clinton.
In our society we have some families that demand that their adult sons or daughters live at home until they get married.
In other cultures, when a teen turns 18 years old, he/she is expected to move out to begin they‘re road to independence.
Countries in Mexico, Central and South American would name corn tortilla tacos, Baleadas, Empanadas, and many
other names.
There are certain tribes in Ecuador that when the boys turn 4 years old, they are expected to sleep in the woods for the
first time, along with one adult to prove how important their age and gender are to their societies.
What has been your experience learning from your mentor/mentee? Have you noticed upbringing differences in terms of
music, food, customs, etc? Having differences does not mean that one culture is superior to another. It just means that
together we can accomplish much more. We are all crayons living in Chicago in different neighborhoods, but in the
same crayon box. Go discover what it means to hear that a ―million mile Journey, begins with the first step‖.
~ Alberto Paguada