Frien… · Web viewTwelve top tips for Quaker meetings. 1. ... Our Café Coordinator was asked...

Running a Social Café for Older People

Tips for Quaker Meetings

BackgroundI am convinced it is a great art to know how to grow old gracefully, and I am determined to practice it.

QF&P 21.48 Hannah Whitall Smith, 1903

The purpose of this document is to encourage Quaker Meetings to help older people in their neighbourhood by organising regular social cafés at which they can meet friends and enjoy themselves whilst keeping their minds and bodies active. It is based on the experience of Horfield Friends Café, which has been open every Friday afternoon since October 2018 thanks to a grant provided by the Retreat York Benevolent Fund.

The initial inspiration for Horfield Friends Café came when Anna Rossetti and I were asked to visit the successful café run for several years at St Cuthbert's’ Anglican Church in North Wembley. St Cuthbert’s’ café differs from a conventional ‘Memory Café’ in two important ways:

Unlike cafés run directly by the Alzheimer’s Society, it is not just for people living with dementia. Countering social isolation and loneliness is seen as every bit as important as helping those living with dementia.

It runs on a weekly basis.

Previous experience showed you have to run it every week. Otherwise they’ll forget about it. Running it every week, it becomes part of people’s lives, not just a one-off thing.

Revd Steve Morris

St Cuthbert’s café clearly promoted the wellbeing of older people in the parish – and attracted people of all faiths and none who did not worship at the Church on Sundays.

Our visits to North Wembley were followed by the launch of Churches Together in Greater Bristol’s ‘Dementia Friendly Churches’ initiative. Fellow Horfield Friend Charlie Jones and I went to this launch and were led to propose that our Local Meeting set up a weekly café for older people in our neighbourhood. It would be based on the St Cuthbert’s model and would draw on the experience of a fortnightly café run for a number of years at Thornbury Local Meeting.

From the start, the aim has been to serve older people living in our neighbourhood by giving them a friendly place to go to at the same time and on the same day every week. Recognising that our aim and target audience differ from those of a memory café we now refer to our offer as a social café.

Bristol Area Meeting adopted the project as a concern in April 2018. This provided the basis for our successful bid for a grant from the Retreat York Benevolent Fund

The ‘top tips’ that follow are based on the lessons learned from 40 Friday sessions afternoons between our trial on 21 September 2018 and 28 June 2019.

Eddy Knasel, Coordinator, Horfield Friends Café

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Top Tips on setting up a Friends Cafe

Twelve top tips for Quaker meetings1. See the café as your Meeting’s ministry to your

neighbourhood, rather than as an ‘outreach opportunity’We see this work as a chance to practice our faith that there is that of God in everyone, whatever her or his age or beliefs. At no point have we ever tried to ‘convert’ anyone coming to the café to Quakerism.

Along the way we have found that opening our doors to the public every Friday afternoon has given us a welcome opportunity to make connections with our neighbourhood and to learn more about the people who live and work near our building.

2. Prepare thoroughly before you openHorfield Local Meeting made efforts to lay solid foundations for the café. Starting with a Minute agreed by a Local Meeting for Church Affairs held on 5 November 2017 we took the following steps before the café opened to the public on 5 October 2018.

Holding a Meeting for Clearness to test and explore the aims for the café and gain the commitment of a core group of Friends.

Running two events for Horfield Friends that helped our Meeting to become more dementia friendly. These were a Dementia Friends session using resources developed by the Alzheimer’s Society and an audit of the Meeting which looked at: Buildings; Pastoral care; Meetings for Worship and Community.

Establishing clear policies for Safeguarding, Health & Safety and Privacy.

Distinguishing between three types of people who would come to the Café:

– Café Guests, our target audience

– Café Friends, the volunteers who help run the café

– Café Visitors, speakers and performers who provide the main activity for the afternoon.

Identifying a clear set of tasks for Café Friends to be carried out each Café Day. Our tasks breakdown now includes:

– room preparation

– preparing and serving refreshments

– welcoming Café Guests

– record keeping

– hosting the session

– clearing up.

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Holding a trial session for Horfield Friends and residents from Avenue House, a local Quaker-established care home, two weeks before our first public session.

3. Make connectionsHorfield Local Meeting has benefitted enormously from realising that we are far from unique in recognising the need to support older people. There are many connections open to Meetings considering setting up a Friends Café:

Make the most of your Area Meeting. The benefits of our Local Meeting’s project being adopted by Bristol Area Meeting have included:

– The active involvement of Trustees in planning and implementing the project through representation on our Project Group, administration of our financial affairs and through supporting our grant applications.

– The use of existing key policies, notably on Safeguarding and Privacy.

– The regular involvement of Friends from other Local Meetings as Café Friends.

– Financial support for the café from other Local Meetings who have included our café in their collection rotas.

Connect with the wider Quaker Community. The support from The Retreat York Benevolent Fund has been crucial to our success. Their grant allowed us to employ a Café Coordinator between June 2018 and April 2019 and also paid for publicity materials and covered some travel costs.

Connect with other Churches and Faith Groups. Membership of Churches Together in Greater Bristol (CTGB) was the starting point for our work. CTGB’s Dementia Friendly Churches initiative gave us connections to other Churches travelling similar journeys and their 'Becoming a Dementia Friendly Church' resource pack provided the basis for the audit we carried out.

Connect with other organisations working with older people. In our own case the two most important have been:

– The Alzheimer’s Society, particularly through their Community Development Network in Bristol and their Regional Dementia Friends Network.

– The Bristol Ageing Better Project, a 5-year Big Lottery-funded initiative combatting social isolation and loneliness across the city.

4. Take your target audience into account in marketing the café

Our priority in marketing the café is to appeal to those feeling lonely and socially isolated. This is stressed in the name ‘Horfield Friends Café’ and the strapline ‘a friendly place to meet people and keep our minds active’. Our logo, which is used in all of our publicity, reflects this. It was adopted after consulting socially isolated diners at a local lunch club.

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Our initial marketing campaign made use of:

Flyers and posters produced in several sizes, displayed at the Meeting House, in libraries, GP surgeries and local cafés and delivered through letterboxes.

Articles in local magazines delivered free of charge in the neighbourhood.

Local radio. Fortunately a member of our team presents a weekly show aimed at older people. The café was featured on her show in the lead up to our launch and has since been mentioned regularly on the shows’ ‘What’s On’ feature.

Social media posts. Every week we give details of that Friday’s main activity on the ‘Love Horfield’ Facebook group.

A PVC Banner on the Meeting House railings. Our Warden has displayed this every Friday morning since early December. It has since attracted several people who have become regular Café Guests.

5. Have a clear structure for café daysOlder people are most comfortable when they can see a predictable pattern in what is happening. Quite early on we arrived at a clear structure for an afternoon starting at 2.00 and finishing at 3.30:

Welcoming guests. Café Friends greet Café Guests as they arrive and make sure they are seated with someone they can talk to. All guests are given name badges, and Café Friends wear them as well. Tables are laid out with

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tablecloths, flowers and home baked cakes. On the table is a simple quiz, which the Guests collaborate on. Café Friends serve tea and coffee. Music plays quietly in the background.

Café Guest Janet shares a smile with Café Friends June and Yasmin

Main activity for the week. The host provides the answers to the quiz and introduces this weeks’ Café Visitor. This could be a musician singing well-known songs, someone leading chair exercises, a fire officer talking about home safety or a poet reading familiar verses.

Farewell. The host explains what’s happening next week, thanks everyone for coming, mentions the donation box and gives any special notices. Café Friends clear the room, ready for the next hirer.

This routine allows our guests to relax and enjoy themselves and the company around them. Café Friends also benefit from a routine they can work to every week.

6. Have a balanced programmeA predictable routine is vital but some variety is also necessary. At Horfield this variety comes from our range of Café Visitors. We aim for a programme that encourages our guests to engage in activities proven to promote better ageing. These include:

Physical exercise. Two of our most popular visitors have been Evelyn Aston, a somatic movement practitioner, and Grace Ekall, a professional dancer turned rehabilitation therapist. Both Evelyn and Grace lead our group in seated exercise routines.

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Evelyn Aston leading a seated exercise session in March 2019

Music. Research points to the value of music and singing to older people. At Horfield we benefitted from a series of free musical reminiscence sessions provided by local charity Alive.

Reminiscence sessions from Alive

Alive’s sessions at the cafe were made possible by money raised throuh BBC Radio Bristol’s Alive appeal. Here Alive Performer Colin tells the story behind a song by

Puccini.

The success of BBC Radio Bristol’s Alive appeal was celebrated at a live radio show broadcast from the County Cricket Ground. Our Café Coordinator was asked to the

event and invited to bring some Café Guests with him. Here we see Café Guest Frank Turgus and Café Friend June Kingsley with BBC Radio Bristol Presenter Joe Lemur.

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Older people definitely seem to benefit from singing along with familiar songs. Other sessions when Café Guests have joined in with songs include our Christmas Party, a Singing for the Brain session led by Robert Hurst, and a performance by the Bishopston Ukulele Group.

Bishopston Ukulele Group performing in May 2019

Art. Local artist Huw Evans’ three painting sessions helped Café Guests to create pictures, in some cases for the first time in decades. Huw’s approach generated a calm and collaborative atmosphere that our guests greatly enjoyed.

Café Friend Christina Slaney taking part in an art session in March 2019

Talks on specific topics. Examples include local poet Ralph Hoyt reading some familiar works and some of his own, a specialist giving helpful hints on foot care and actor John Telfer talking about his career with special reference to his role in the Archers.

The most successful speakers have been skilled in interacting with Café Guests as part of their sessions.

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Philipa Cook talking about foot care in November 2018

7. Let them eat cake!

Café Guests Sheila and Angela chat over cake and a cuppa.

Like many before us we have found that sitting around a table with food and drink on hand does wonders in encouraging people to get to know each other. Our promise to our guests to offer hot drinks and homemade cakes is a major part of our welcome to newcomers – and we are confident that it is one of the reasons they come back again and again.

8. Every week means every week!Horfield Friends Café is unique in Bristol in being open at the same time and day every week. This means our guests can be confident the café will be open if they feel the need for company on Friday afternoon. Three incidents have demonstrated the value of this:

We ran a session on Friday 28 December in the knowledge that Christmas can be particularly lonely for isolated older people.

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Heavy snow fell overnight and throughout the morning of Friday 1 February. We went ahead with the session despite the fact that the Alive Performer booked for that afternoon cancelled early in the morning because icy roads meant it would be difficult for him to get to us.

A number of people contacted the coordinator during the week leading up to Easter to ask whether we would be open on Good Friday (April 19). We reassured them that we would be.

Café Guests did arrive on each of these days – and in the case of Christmas and Easter we were able to point out that Quakers regard every day of the year as special.

9. Welcome everyoneWe have been careful not to present the café as being exclusively for older people and our posters and flyers always state that all are welcome. This is in stark contrast to ‘official’ memory cafés where the only clients are those with a dementia diagnosis or their carers. In practice, our guests have ranged in age from their early twenties to their late nineties – though most are probably aged 60-80.

One Friday we had to explore the limits of this policy. Some homeless people sheltered from heavy rains under the roof over our front door. It became clear that some of them had been drinking heavily or using illegal substances. We now reserve the right to refuse entry to anyone in this condition.

10.Expect turnover in terms of Guests and FriendsBeing open every week does not mean that the same people will always be there each week.

Even the most committed Café Guests are likely to miss a few sessions. Some have hospital appointments or family occasions for instance and we have found that bad weather frequently keeps people in their homes.

A question on our Café Friend Application Form asks potential volunteers how often they are likely to be available. Several made it clear from the start that they would not be able to come each week and it has always been clear that this is not expected of them.

11.Recognise the need for a coordinatorThe grant from the Retreat York Benevolent Fund allowed us to employ a part-time café coordinator during the crucial months of the project. This laid the foundations for the café and covered its first six months of operation. As well as hosting each of the sessions this role has evolved to include:

Building effective working relationships with organisations such as sponsors, community bodies, other Local Meetings and the media.

Coordinating the rota of Café Friends to ensure that there are enough people to support the Café Guests.

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Organising the programme of Café Visitors: including contacting and booking them; liaison ahead of the session and formally thanking them the following week.

Overseeing the finances of the café.

Evaluating and reporting on the café.

At Horfield, the administrative tasks of storing attendance records and completed Café Friend Application Forms safely and securely have been undertaken by Judi Brill, our Meeting House Warden.

Any meeting considering setting up a café should recognise how much time is demanded by this role and should consider how the coordinator will be supported.

12.Value your team‘It is gorgeous! I feel so welcome. It is the highlight of my week.’

Café Guest interviewed about the cafe

A big part of the success of the café lies in the welcoming atmosphere created by the team of volunteer Café Friends. At Horfield most of these have been members or attenders at one of Bristol’s Quaker Meetings.

The Religious Society of Friends has relied on the work of volunteers throughout its more than 350 years of existence but there may be danger in taking this commitment and dedication for granted. Our Café Friends have always enjoyed their involvement on Friday afternoons but we need to ensure that the café remains a sustainable resource for our neighbourhood. We are now exploring ways of retaining Café Friends’ involvement such as social events specifically for them or a support system based on buddying.

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Café Friends at Horfield Friends Café

Angela Ausset

Phillipa Cook

Fran De’ath

Jenni Harris

Yasmin Johnson

Charlie Jones

June Kingsley

Anna Rossetti

Christina Slaney

Chrissie Williams

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Café Visitors21 September1 ‘Alonely’ play group

5 October Lily Green ‘No Bindings’

12 October ‘Favourite holidays’ Charlie Jones

19 October ‘Somatic Movement’ Evelyn Aston

26 October ‘Childhood Memories’ Peppa Pig

2 November ‘Apple Varieties’ Shannon Smith, Horfield Organic Community Orchard

9 November ‘Advice on looking after our feet’ Phillipa Cook

16 November ‘Memory games and programme planning’

23 November ‘Fire safety’ Alistair Hill Avon Fire & Rescue

30 November ‘Seated Tai Chi’ Sarah Bartlett

7 December ‘The Woodland Wellbeing Programme’ Nicola Ramsden

14 December ‘Knitting for Charity, Eileen Agnew

21 December ‘Christmas Party’

28 December ‘Remembering 2018’

4 January ‘Musical Reminiscence’ Alive

11 January ‘Somatic Movement’ Evelyn Aston

18 January ‘Ageing Well’ Alison Mitchell

25 January ‘Eating Well and seated dancing’ Grace Ekall

1 February ‘Guided Reminiscence’ Alive (Snowed off – became coffee and cake)

8 February ‘Singing for the Brain’ Richard Hurst

15 February ‘Somatic Movement’ Evelyn Aston

22 February ‘Friends Ageing Better’ Silvia Jiminez Cruz

1 March ‘Guided Reminiscence’ Alive

8 March ‘World War 2 memories’ Maureen Armstrong

15 March ‘Somatic Movement’ Evelyn Aston

22 March ‘Pets and pet care’ Animal Health Centre

29 March ‘Art session’ Huw Evans

1 Trial run for Horfield Friends and Avenue House Residents.

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April 5 ‘Music Reminiscence’ with Alive

April 12 ‘Spice and rhythm’ with Grace Ekall

April 19: ‘Seated exercise’ with Evelyn Aston

April 26: ‘Tales from Ambridge’ with John Telfer

May 3: ‘Guided Reminiscence’ with Alive

May 10: ‘Poetry please’ with Ralph Hoyt

May 17: ‘Seated exercise’ with Evelyn Aston

May 24: ‘Art session’ with Huw Evans

May 31 Bishopston Ukulele Group

June 7 ‘Spice and rhythm’ with Grace Ekall

June 14 ‘Guided Reminiscence’ with Alive

June 21 ‘Seated exercise’ with Evelyn Aston

June 28 ‘End of term party’ June Kingsley

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