Foundations of Nonviolent Communicationgreenspiritresources.com/newsprintfriendly.pdfNonviolent...
3
NEWS January 2017 I first took a series of classes with Rachelle Lamb several years ago, along with Arnie. I remember having my mind exercised – if not bent into a new shape – as I tried to wrap my head around a different way of thinking entirely. I remember stammering back to Rachelle, “But but but ….” I couldn’t imagine a way of expressing my concerns that didn’t involve me being DONE TO – and I came to recognize, that the places where I felt hurt or neglected, abandoned, infuriated, etc, could not really be met while I stood in the place of victim. You’re DOING this TO me!! wasn’t working for me, yet to shift my thinking to what I might need, from a positive perspective, was completely foreign to me. How could it possibly work to communicate, if not to lead with my discomfort? I had never considered needs as a real thing, although I spent a lot of energy manipulating to meet them, without knowing. I was often playing the victim myself, and seeing the other as an opponent. To bring this all to light made a radical shift in how I could take responsibility for myself, and more successfully be understood. More and more often I can say, “Let’s just try that over again…”. I (and we) do a much better job of hearing and being heard, experiencing satisfaction and connection that wasn’t possible before. I truly feel what Marshal Rosenberg said to be our deepest and most satisfying human need, is to contribute to each other’s well-being. To see our needs as GIFTS to each other, both mine and others, is a graduate-level seeing that I aspire to and sometimes it happens. Sometimes the old ‘attack and defend’ comes to the fore again, especially when I’m tired or otherwise challenged. I’m aware of needing support to grow this new skill. So I hope many of you can join us in learning to communicate compassionately. Maybe we can get together and practice our skills afterwards. Anyone else needing practice? 1822 Oak Bay Avenue, Victoria, BC 250 519-1030 www.greenspiritresources.com Nonviolent Communication Diane Lade info & tickets: rachellelamb.com Foundations of Nonviolent Communication SPEAK TO ME LIKE YOU LOVE ME with Rachelle Lamb Between what is said and not meant and what is meant and not said, most of love is lost. —Khalil Gibran March 4th-5th (Sat 10am-6pm Sun 2-6pm) $280 | $230 earlybird Feb 1st Church of Truth, 111 Superior St.
Transcript of Foundations of Nonviolent Communicationgreenspiritresources.com/newsprintfriendly.pdfNonviolent...
NEWS January 2017
I first took a series of classes with Rachelle Lamb several years ago, along with Arnie. I remember having my mind exercised – if not bent into a new shape – as I tried to wrap my head around a different way of thinking entirely. I remember stammering back to Rachelle, “But but but ….” I couldn’t imagine a way of expressing my concerns that didn’t involve me being DONE TO – and I came to recognize, that the places where I felt hurt or neglected, abandoned, infuriated, etc, could not really be met while I stood in the place of victim. You’re DOING this TO me!! wasn’t working for me, yet to shift my thinking to what I might need, from a positive perspective, was completely foreign to me. How could it possibly work to communicate, if not to lead with my discomfort? I had never considered needs as a real thing, although I spent a lot of energy manipulating to meet them, without knowing. I was often playing the victim myself, and seeing the other as an opponent. To bring this all to light made a radical shift in how I could take responsibility for myself, and more successfully be understood. More and more often I can say, “Let’s just try that over again…”. I (and we) do a much better job of hearing and being heard, experiencing satisfaction and connection that wasn’t possible before. I truly feel what Marshal Rosenberg said to be our deepest and most satisfying human need, is to contribute to each other’s well-being. To see our needs as GIFTS to each other, both mine and others,
is a graduate-level seeing that I aspire to and sometimes it happens. Sometimes the old ‘attack and defend’ comes to the fore again, especially when I’m tired or otherwise challenged. I’m aware of needing support to grow this new skill. So I hope many of you can join us in learning to communicate compassionately. Maybe we can get together and practice our skills afterwards. Anyone else needing practice?
1822 Oak Bay Avenue, Victoria, BC 250 519-1030 www.greenspiritresources.com
Nonviolent Communication Diane Lade
info & tickets: rachellelamb.com
Foundations of Nonviolent
Communication
SPEAK TO ME LIKE YOU LOVE ME with Rachelle Lamb
Between what is said and not meant and what is meant and not said, most of love is lost.
—Khalil Gibran
March 4th-5th (Sat 10am-6pm Sun 2-6pm) $280 | $230 earlybird Feb 1stChurch of Truth, 111 Superior St.
Rachelle Lamb is a speaker, writer and certified NVC trainer. She has worked in the field of Interpersonal Relating and Conflict Resolution for over 20 years. Countless clients have learned how to skillfully navigate interpersonal conflict and challenges through her guidance and instruction, quite often leading to profound breakthrough.
‘Speak To Me Like You Love Me’ Foundations of Nonviolent Communication
Saturday/Sunday March 4-5, 2017 Church of Truth
111 Superior St, Victoria BC (early bird) $230 before Feb 1st
or $280 after Feb 1st
Info/Register at: http://www.rachellelamb.com/courses/
speak-to-me-like-you-love-me
Inquiries: Diane Lade [email protected] 250 370-1987
NOT just for couples! Change your experience of conflict and
relating with this dynamic and life honouring approach grounded in both spiritual and emotional intelligence as
well as ecological wisdom.
Excerpt From the Introduction of‘NVC Communication Basics’
by Rachelle LambWords… they constitute the precious vehicle by which we convey vital information to each other about how we are experiencing the world and what we would like to enrich our lives. I am interested in how we choose to weave our words together because of how enormously powerful language is in shaping our experience of relationships, both with ourselves and others.
In my twenty-five years of working in the field of human development and relationship dynamics, the most powerful approach to creating harmonious relationships and resolving conflict that I have encountered is Dr. Marshal l Rosenberg ’s mode l o f Nonv io lent Communication (NVC). Dr. Rosenberg’s model, also known as Compassionate Communication, takes us straight to what matters most – compassionate connection with others through the use of life-serving communication.
Using this model, we either express honestly what is presently alive in us or we listen deeply and empathically to others as they express what is alive in them. We do this without any agenda to change others, without any enemy images, and without blame, criticism, judgments, analysis or diagnosis.
Making the shift to communicating in this way is surprisingly challenging as a result of our cultural conditioning. Words such as right, wrong, good, bad, appropriate, inappropriate engage us in thegame Who’s Right. This is a tragedy since this
kind of thinking and communicating decreases the likelihood that we will get what we want while increasing the likelihood of alienation and violence. Use of NVC however brings enormous freedom into our lives – freedom from the kind of thinking that dehumanizes us and others through moralistic judgments. NVC achieves this by helping us to remember our humanity and recognize the fact that every moment offers us an opportunity to clarify our intention and
At a Glance:
Feldenkrais Awareness Through Movement
with Diane Lade
Winter TermJan. 11 to Mar 31
Mondays 5:00 - 6:00 PM Wednesdays 7:00 -8:00 PM
Fridays 10:45 - 12 Noon
http://www.greenspiritresources.com/scheduleprintfriendly.pdf
250-519-1030
See Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of Nonviolent Communication, give a brief introduction here.
choose responses that are in alignment with our needs and values.
For those who choose to learn and integrate the NVC process, the results are often deeply transformational. It facilitates a receptive space where one can be truly present to another and receive the gift of their expression even if that person speaks or acts in ways that are difficult for us to hear. It also helps people to frame their own aliveness into verbal expressions that are far more likely to elicit compassionate responses from others. By using the four steps of the process, which revolve primarily around the clear and honest expression of needs, our awareness shifts and enables us to see and hear differently. We tune in to the humanness of others, to what
Monday Night Men’s Meditation
If you are interested in meditation and wish to join a fellowship of men…….
Our focus is on the Zen style of meditation/contemplation, which includes two periods of of quiet sitting (zazen) with silent walking (kinhin) in between. Following this formal meditative period, there’s contemplative reading and discussion.
We follow the style of Arnie’s teacher, Willigis Jaeger, from Germany (i.e., a totally ecumenical and open approach to meditation for modern times). If you want to check out this style, please see his website http://willigisjaeger-foundation.com/willigis-jaeger.html
Monday Night Meditation is an offering of the heart and there are no fees, but donations are gratefully accepted and appreciated.
For more information call Arnie 250-519-1030
they’re feeling and needing, which then draws us, quite naturally, to find creative ways to enrich each other’s lives so that everyone’s needs can be met.
Nonviolent Communication (NVC) has been a tremendous gift to thousands around the world. It is an effective way to facilitate rich and meaningful connections with ourselves and others – a most valuable skill to have at this time on our planet. It is my hope that this…will inspire others to want to learn more about NVC so that they too can receive the wonderful gifts it has to offer.
Warmly,Rachelle.
