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INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PRAYER UNIVERSITY – MIKE BICKLE GROWING IN PRAYER (PART 1) Session 6 A Practical Plan to Grow in Prayer I. INTRODUCTION A. There is more to developing a consistent prayer life than loving God; there are practical matters. This is session six in a ten-part series on Growing in Prayer, Part One. Next semester we will have Growing in Prayer, Part Two. There is so much important material, I believe, in covering this vast and glorious subject. There is more to growing in prayer than just loving God. Some folks think, “If you love God, it all falls into place.” Loving God is certainly the central issue, and the revelation that He loves us is where it begins. But there also really are practical issues to growing in our prayer life and having a consistent prayer life. B. I understand the difficulties involved in developing a consistent prayer life because I have struggled through them myself. But by God’s grace, I have been able to maintain a consistent prayer life. I will share a practical plan to help you grow in prayer, a plan that has helped me for many years. I want to tell just a little of my story, just a little snapshot of it, but only because I have proven in my life as a weak and broken person that it can work. I know how much I did not like prayer and I know how much I went, “Ugh.” I know if I can, you can. You say, “Well, that was forty years ago, and it is different now.” I understand the plight and the journey that some of you are facing when you think, “Not a chance. It is never going to happen to me.” I understand the difficulties because I struggled through them. By the grace of God, and I want to say this humbly and tenderly, I have been able to maintain a consistent prayer life for many years, for some decades now. I do not mean my prayer life has been amazing. It has been consistent. I want to share a practical plan for you because I believe it will work for you. The reason I have energy on this is because it did work for me. I started in a position of not really liking this whole thing called prayer. 1. Set a schedule for regular prayer times. A schedule establishes when you will pray. The first thing I want to identify is the need to set a schedule. Schedule time for prayer right off the bat, if you have never done that. I have taught this for nearly forty years, and people respond, “Uh, no, legalism. Ah, set a time, no. Give me a few minutes. Scheduling time for prayer?” You do not keep it all the time, but you put it on the schedule. It establishes when you pray. Not all the time you pray, but it gives you a beginning as a core to developing your prayer life. International House of Prayer of Kansas City ihopkc.org Free Teaching Library mikebickle.org

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INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF PRAYER UNIVERSITY – MIKE BICKLEGROWING IN PRAYER (PART 1)

Session 6 A Practical Plan to Grow in PrayerI. INTRODUCTION

A. There is more to developing a consistent prayer life than loving God; there are practical matters.

This is session six in a ten-part series on Growing in Prayer, Part One. Next semester we will have Growing in Prayer, Part Two. There is so much important material, I believe, in covering this vast and glorious subject. There is more to growing in prayer than just loving God. Some folks think, “If you love God, it all falls into place.” Loving God is certainly the central issue, and the revelation that He loves us is where it begins. But there also really are practical issues to growing in our prayer life and having a consistent prayer life.

B. I understand the difficulties involved in developing a consistent prayer life because I have struggled through them myself. But by God’s grace, I have been able to maintain a consistent prayer life. I will share a practical plan to help you grow in prayer, a plan that has helped me for many years.

I want to tell just a little of my story, just a little snapshot of it, but only because I have proven in my life as a weak and broken person that it can work. I know how much I did not like prayer and I know how much I went, “Ugh.” I know if I can, you can.

You say, “Well, that was forty years ago, and it is different now.” I understand the plight and the journey that some of you are facing when you think, “Not a chance. It is never going to happen to me.” I understand the difficulties because I struggled through them. By the grace of God, and I want to say this humbly and tenderly, I have been able to maintain a consistent prayer life for many years, for some decades now. I do not mean my prayer life has been amazing. It has been consistent. I want to share a practical plan for you because I believe it will work for you. The reason I have energy on this is because it did work for me. I started in a position of not really liking this whole thing called prayer.

1. Set a schedule for regular prayer times. A schedule establishes when you will pray.

The first thing I want to identify is the need to set a schedule. Schedule time for prayer right off the bat, if you have never done that. I have taught this for nearly forty years, and people respond, “Uh, no, legalism. Ah, set a time, no. Give me a few minutes. Scheduling time for prayer?”

You do not keep it all the time, but you put it on the schedule. It establishes when you pray. Not all the time you pray, but it gives you a beginning as a core to developing your prayer life.

2. Make a prayer list. A prayer list helps you to focus on what to pray.

Number two, make a prayer list or prayer lists, plural.

3. Cultivate a right view of God. A right view of God causes you to want to pray.

Number three, cultivate a right view of God. What do I mean by that? I don’t mean hearing one teaching on God loves you and thinking, “I got it.” I mean by speaking the word of truth before the Lord when the devil tells us lies about what God is like and how God views us. I mean taking a stand. Doing that spiritual warfare to break those wrong strongholds in our thinking about who God is and how He views us. I know a lot of folks who have heard about the love of God for years, but it does not move their heart or reset their emotions or form their emotions. Therefore their wrong view affects their prayer life in a very dramatic way.

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C. I was struggling in college to establish my prayer life. A leader suggested that I schedule a time each day and make a prayer list. He assured me that doing these two things would change my prayer life over time. He was right! I was hesitant at first, but his counsel to me worked.

My journey began back in my college days when a man at the university—I went to the University of Missouri—came to me and said, “I encourage you to schedule a prayer time every day and make a prayer list.”

I said, “What?” I told him how I was struggling in prayer. He assured me that this would change my prayer life. I looked at him and said, “No, that is not going to work.” But I respected him so much, and I met with him every week—he was quite a few years older than I—and he was holding me accountable and he asked me every time he met me if I did it. Just out of that I did it, and I found out over time it really worked.

D. If you schedule time for prayer and make a prayer list, you will pray ten times more than you do now. I have made this statement for more than thirty years. People usually do not believe it, and some even argue against it. Nevertheless, I continue to say it, because I have proved the truth of it in my own life and witnessed the results of others applying the plan in their lives.

I want to make a bold statement. I have made this statement for over thirty years. I want to say it really boldly. You will pray ten times more in the next year or two if you will set prayer on your schedule and make a prayer list. You will pray—this is true for about ninety-five percent; there are a few exceptions—ten times more if you simply put it on a schedule and make a prayer list. I have said that for years. Folks protest, “No way. Legalism. That is not right,” but they continue for years without a prayer life. They are so afraid of doing it this way, but they are not afraid of going another decade without a prayer life.

I challenge them, “Do it for one year. Try it for one year. I assure you that you will be a satisfied customer.” The reason I have been saying this for thirty plus years, and I am saying it again tonight, is because it changed my prayer life, and I have seen it change so many other people’s prayer life. These simple three things: schedule, prayer list, and cultivating a right view of God.

II. SCHEDULE A PRAYER TIME

A. There are many demands on our time. Therefore, we must be intentional about developing consistent prayer lives. If we do not set our schedules ourselves, others will set them for us, and the result will be very little time for prayer. It is of the utmost importance that we schedule time for prayer. It sounds simple, but setting a regular time will profoundly impact our prayer lives.

Schedule a prayer time. This is so simple, but there are so many demands on my time and your time. If we are not intentional about developing a prayer life, we will not develop one. You will not wake up one day deep in God. It does not work that way. It’s just like exercise or taking vitamins. Exercise does not make it all better in one day. It is over months and years. You can take vitamins and eat rightly. It is not in one day that you are energized in your health. It is over years of doing it. The same is true in our spiritual life. This is really obvious, but it needs to be said. I say it several times in the notes: if you do not determine your schedule, somebody else will. I promise you. If you do not set your schedule and determine to take control of it, somebody else will take control of it.

We have a lot of students and interns in the room; therefore a good part of your schedule is set in place. Beloved, that is just a crutch. Once you get through the program and that crutch is gone, will you have self-discipline? I have seen a lot of folks over a lot of years, I am talking about forty years, go to Bible School, go to an internship, have their schedule set for them. They do not really understand the value of that schedule. Then

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the schedule is lifted. They get out. A year or two later they do not have a prayer life at all. They think, “I did the IHOPKC thing. I thought maybe by osmosis I would wake up one day with a prayer life. I prayed a lot when I was there. At least I sat in the prayer room.” Beloved, sitting in the prayer room, even if you are not engaging, more is happening in your heart than meets the eye. I am all for engaging. Do not write off the time when you are there and you are thinking, “This is not really working.” There are other things happening positively in your life, even in that posture. Obviously, though, it is a lot better to engage with the Lord.

B. Of course we will not keep our schedule 100 percent of the time, but we will keep it more often than not. I feel good if I show up to start my scheduled prayer times 85 percent of the time. I do not always stay in prayer for the entire time that I intended. But I set my heart to show up to start it, and then I go from there.

We are not going to keep our schedule 100 percent of the time. I am talking about when I was eighteen, nineteen, and twenty-years old. I am not talking right now about IHOPKC and our sacred trust. I am talking about something different than that, though our sacred trust is a scheduled prayer time. I am talking about life even outside of those parameters. I would set my prayer time—I remember when I was eighteen, nineteen years old—I set my prayer time at 9:00 every night. It was the dreadful hour of 9:00. At 8:45 in the evening I would begin to sweat because in only fifteen minutes the hour of death began. I wish that were a joke! I would think, “Oh, Lord, I would do anything besides talk to You for an hour. Please deliver me from this.” Funny now, but it was not funny then. I was convinced that I needed to grow in prayer to grow in God. That is true. I did not like growing in prayer, but I wanted to grow in God. I was in a catch twenty-two.

I have found over the years that I do not keep my scheduled prayer time 100 percent of the time. Here is one thing, if I show up and begin it—when I show up, I do not always stay in my prayer time the whole time on my schedule—but if I show up and start my prayer time—whether it is at home, my dorm room, now at IHOPKC or times in my office or at my home when I have times I set apart for prayer—I find I keep that schedule about eighty-five percent, meaning I show up and begin it. I do not always pray the entire time I scheduled. Sometimes it goes longer. Sometimes I get distracted, and I quit short. I am not talking about our sacred trust at IHOPKC. I am talking about something more general than that. If I am keeping it about eighty-five percent, I feel like I am really on a trajectory to succeed in my prayer life.

Often my mind is blank. I do not feel like praying. I say, “Here I am, Lord. I am opening my heart to You.” A lot of times I will go for the time I have set. Sometimes I will come up short. Sometimes I will get distracted. I show up. I think just by showing up, I mean before the Lord at that given time, it is remarkable after forty years how many times you actually will end up praying. Even though I do not feel like it before I come. I am busy, with a lot of things are on my mind. I start the prayer time. I do not always end it. I do show up. I have found it is remarkable how that one little point makes a huge difference.

C. I treat my prayer time as a sacred appointment that I try not to miss except for emergencies.

D. I do not limit my prayer life to my scheduled prayer times; I pray “on the run” during the day, which is part of abiding in Christ. You will sustain an “abiding dialogue” throughout the day much more consistently if you have regular times to talk to God set into your schedule. It may be necessary to tweak your prayer schedule at times to keep it working with other things in your life.

I do not limit my prayer time to that scheduled time. That is just the time I deliberately position myself before the Lord. I say, “I am going to do it no matter how I feel.” I pray when I feel throughout the day too. I pray many times outside that set time. Do not limit it to that time.

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E. There are 168 hours in each week. If we use ten hours a day to sleep, eat, and dress (seventy hours a week), that will leave us about 100 hours a week for work and other things. With creative scheduling, most people can find an hour or more a day for prayer if they really want to.

Consider this. Everyone on the planet has 168 hours a week. Everyone has 168 hours a week. That is seven days, twenty-four hours a day. If you take ten hours a day to eat, to sleep, and to get dressed—some people say, “I cannot do all that in ten hours.” For the sake of the idea, just go with me—ten hours. You sleep X amount, you eat X amount, and you fix your hair X amount. If you do that ten hours a day, beloved, that still gives you almost one hundred hours a week to manage your time. One hundred hours. Some folks work forty, some go to school forty, some do IHOPKC fifty. They have one hundred other hours to work with every week, if it takes ten hours a day to eat, sleep, and get dressed. My point is 100 hours. There are a whole lot of fifteen and thirty minute gaps of time that I find people squander and waste. Over decades, that is a huge amount of human life. Huge amount of life that just kind of goes by the wind.

I want to encourage you to lock in times for prayer. You say, “Lord, I am going to schedule my recreation, my entertainment, and my social times around the times I set with You. Not the other way around.” I believe that if you have a little bit of creativity with the 100 hours that you have after you eat, sleep, and get dressed ten hours a day, that nearly 100 hours with a little creativity, a person who really cares can move some things around, I am sure there are a few exceptions, and they really can find time to develop a prayer life before the Lord.

III. MAKING A PRAYER LIST

A. I recommend that you prepare a prayer list—or several lists. A prayer list is a simple tool that can help keep us focused during our prayer times. Often when I begin to pray, my mind is blank. I need a little “jump start” to help me focus, so I use prayer lists, which I have found invaluable. I was eighteen years old when I made my first prayer list; forty years later I still use lists because I still need them. I do not limit my prayers to the things on my lists, but use them simply as a guide.

Let’s make a prayer list. Making a prayer list. This is a very, very simple tool. A prayer list will help keep us focused in our prayer times. I showed up, I remember back in college, it was 9:00-10:00. I stayed there until 10:00, even though a bunch of the time I was just complaining, but you know what? I was actually praying. I did not know it was prayer. I said, “God, this is a really bad way to run Your kingdom. If I were You, I would take a guy like me and use me, but You want me to sit in here and talk to You about nothing. I have already told you everything.” I was actually praying and did not even know that was actually praying. I thought it was complaining. Well, it was, but it was still praying. I did not have a prayer list.

This leader said, “Get a prayer list.”

I said, “Like what?”

He asked, “What do you normally pray for?”

I said, “I prayed, ‘Thank You, God, that I have food. There are people in the world who are starving. Thank You that I have arms and legs. Thank You. I want to score touchdowns on the university football team.” I played on the football team. Did not score any touchdowns. “Lord, help me get a good girl.” Got the girl. Thirty-seven years later, one of the best things that ever happened to me in my life, but anyway.

Simple tool. He said, “Get a prayer list. Start putting things down. Write a few things that come to mind. Go down the list. As you do, you will develop it more and more.”

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I said, “Really?” I began to make lists. I have some lists available for you. I have some on mikebickle.org and some in the book Growing in Prayer. Often when I sit down to pray, again, at the university it was 9:00 at night. I sat down. I had the hour set apart, but my mind was blank. Even now at IHOPKC, forty years later, I sit down in the prayer room. Here I am, the leader of the IHOPKC ministry, and my mind is blank. I do not know what to pray. I am sitting in the prayer room thinking, “I am tired. I am distracted. Blank.” I need a little jumpstart. I look down, and I see my prayer list. Fill my heart with the love of God. I say, “Oh yeah, I remember what I am doing now. Good. Fill my heart with the love of God. That is what I am here for.” Pray for the power of God in evangelism. I have a few names there. Oh yeah. My prayer list—I am exaggerating it a little bit, not entirely—I look at it and it is like a jumpstart, like you jumpstart a car to get it going.

Forty years later I still have prayer lists, and I use them all the time. I have gone through them so many times that I do not have to look down at them. I think, “Oh yes, my prayer list.” Many times I will feel the inspiration of the Lord and follow the leading of the Lord. It is not on the prayer list at all. I do not limit myself to the time scheduled to pray or to the prayer list. Those are practical prayers to get me going. When I am inspired and going in a different direction, I forget my prayer list. I do not finish my prayer list every day. I do not even try to. I use it when I need to. When I show up before the Lord, and I am feeling a little tired and disjointed, and my mind is blank, that is when I use my prayer list. Or when I pray for a few minutes, and I’m thinking, “Well, I did that,” I look down and remember, “Oh, yeah,” and I refocus my mind.

B. I depart from them at any time I feel led to pray in a different direction. I enjoy praying with the inspiration that comes from the leading of the Spirit, so I seek to follow His prompting.

C. I have three prayer lists—for my personal life, for people and places, and for justice issues.

I have three different prayer lists that I have had over the years. I have a prayer list for my personal life, for people and places, and for justice issues.

D. For my personal life: This includes praying for my own heart, ministry, and circumstances (physical, financial, and relational). I use the acronym FELLOWSHIP in praying for my heart. (See Ten Prayers to Strengthen Our Inner Man at www.mikebickle.org)

I pray for my own spiritual life, my heart in God. I pray for my ministry. I pray for my personal circumstances. I use the acronym F-E-L-L-O-W-S-H-I-P. It is ten letters. There are ten different prayers I pray. For example, F is for the fear of God to grow in my heart. I go down the list as I sit there in the prayer room or sometimes when I am driving or I am just taking a walk. I will go down that list. Many times I will get inspired by the Lord. The Lord will breathe on it. A lot of times nothing much is different. Other times it is very special. Sometimes I begin a prayer time very lethargic and feeling disconnected. I end it with the presence of God touching me in a surprising way. Do not think that how you start your prayer time is how it is going to end. I have found over the years I just show up and start, and many times I feel that inspiration of the Lord and that feeling of God’s presence. I think, “I love this,” but I never know exactly what that time is going to be like. That is why I try to keep faithful to the times I set before the Lord. I pray for my personal life.

E. For people and places: I keep a list of individuals, ministries, and cities that I pray for regularly. I pray for individuals (family and friends), ministries (including my local church), missionaries and mission endeavors, etc. I pray for my own city, for the destinies of specific cities, such as Jerusalem and Cairo, and for nations in great need, such as Egypt, Syria, Haiti, Russia, North Korea, Israel. I spend extra time praying for Jerusalem, as Scripture exhorts us to do so (Ps. 122:6; Isa. 62:6).

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I pray for people or places. It is pretty obvious. I have a list of people. I have a list of places, cities I pray for. The cities I have prayed for the most are Jerusalem and Cairo. Those are two cities the Lord has put on my heart in a special way. God calls everybody to pray for Jerusalem. I pray for other cities as well. I pray for Kansas City a lot.

F. Those in authority: We are to pray for people in authority over our city and nation (1 Tim. 2:2).

G. For justice: This is a broad topic that includes governmental and social issues, such as the ending of abortion, human trafficking, and unfair educational systems. My list sometimes includes situations related to economic injustice, water rights, civil unrest (terrorism, riots, etc.), natural disasters (hurricanes, tsunamis, tornadoes, drought), disease (AIDS, tuberculosis, etc.), social crises (for example, famine and genocide), and more.

I pray for justice. I have a justice prayer list of the main topics happening in the nation. Maybe there is a great storm or some natural disaster that takes place. Or some human trafficking focus that comes to the awareness of a nation or city, not that you need to wait for that to pray for human trafficking. That is a key topic to pray for all the time. I have my personal life. I have people and place. Then I have justice issues.

H. Some protest that it is legalistic to schedule time for prayer or use a prayer list. It can be, but it does not have to be. We step into legalism when we seek to earn God’s love by praying or obeying rules. The good news of the gospel is that we don’t have to earn it; God offers His love and grace freely. Consistency in prayer—talking to the Lord regularly and with focus—simply positions us to sit before Him more often so that we can actually experience more of His free grace in our life. What Jesus freely offers in grace and what we actually experience are often two different things.

Some people protest that having a prayer list or a schedule is legalism. It can be legalism, but it does not have to be legalism. Legalism is what you do when you try to earn God’s love. If you are in a prayer time because you do not think God loves you, and you say, “I will even pray, if You will love me.” That is legalism. Legalism is not the activity. It is the attitude of the heart in which you do the spiritual activity. You can do the disciplines of the kingdom trying to earn God’s love. Those disciplines are legalism. You can do those same disciplines with confidence that He already loves you and those disciplines will position you to experience more. Do not let somebody write off all the disciplines of the kingdom of God as legalism. Do not buy that age-old lie that if you do something consistently, regularly at the same time then therefore it is legalism and rigid. I have seen a lot of folks lose a lot of time in their spiritual life by buying into that lie.

They say, “If you plan to pray 9:00 at night every night, it is legalism.” I am going back to the example of my college days. It did not happen every night, but more nights it did. Sometimes I got surprised as the Lord touched me. Sometimes it did not. When I was in my twenties and thirties, I had different times set. The setting of the time is not what makes it legalism. It is if you think you are earning God’s love by doing it. If you are there with confidence, even a beginning confidence, it is not legalism; that is positioning yourself to experience the grace of God in a greater way.

I. Setting regular times for prayer is not an attempt to earn God’s love; it is a reflection of our desire to take control of our schedules to make prayer a priority. I urge you not to fall for the age-old lie that automatically calls all discipline “legalism.” This lie has robbed many of the blessing of a consistent prayer life. Being aimless or passive is not what liberty in grace is about.

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13You…have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh.(Gal. 5:13)

In Galatians 5:13, Paul says, “You have been called to liberty. Do not use your liberty to walk in the flesh.” How I am applying that in this context: some people think liberty is being passive, “I am not going to do anything with any kind of focus or any type of regularity at all. I am not going to do any activities. I will do whatever comes.” If you live by that, mostly you will not engage with God very much. You will some. But you will engage with God far more if you are intentional about it and actually take time to cultivate that dialogue in your life with the Lord. Do not think liberty means that you do not have anything that is regular and committed in your schedule. That is not what liberty is. That is using the idea of liberty for the opportunity for our flesh to just give way. We will not grow in the Lord. That is the thing I have passion about.

The analogy I have used over the years about sitting before the Lord is if you take a frozen piece of meat out of the freezer and put it in front of a fire, that fire is going to make that frozen steak or hamburger thaw out and become very tender. Using that imperfect analogy, you take a cold heart and put it before the fire of God’s presence, and your heart will get tenderized and energized over time. It is not the power of being before the fire. It is the power of the fire that tenderizes us. I encourage you to put your cold heart in front of the fire. I do that still. My heart gets cold at different seasons. I put it before the fire. I find that cold and frozen place becomes tender and stays tender.

J. Scheduling time for Him is an expression of both my love for Him and my hunger for more. It is not an attempt to earn love from the One who gives His love freely and abundantly.

IV. CULTIVATE A RIGHT VIEW OF GOD

A. Cultivating a right view of God is another essential aspect of growing in prayer. Too many believers have a wrong view of God. For example, they live under the wrong assumption that God is either an angry taskmaster who forces us to pray and endure conversation with Him to prove our devotion to Him or a stoic God who has no interest in our lives. But God is a tender Father, who deeply loves His children, and Jesus is a Bridegroom King filled with desire for His people.

The third area is cultivating a right view of God. Again, the way we cultivate it is by reading what the Bible says about God, in the most general sense. It is a big subject, by the way. God is a tender Father. Jesus is a Bridegroom King. He is a king with power, but He is a Bridegroom with desire. He actually enjoys you. The Father is tender. He likes you. Jesus likes you. He enjoys the relationship, even in our weakness.

If we get that clear in our mind and grow in that, then when the devil comes and accuses us and says, “God is just about to kick you out of the kingdom,” or “He is going to punish you because you do not pray enough. You do not pray enough so He is mad at you,” we know that is not true.

God does not call us to pray to see if we can endure long times with Him, and if we can endure God, then He will say, “Okay, okay, you passed the test. You endured Me.” That is not what prayer is. He longs for communication with us. He longs for the relationship. He is not going to punish us if we do not spend time in prayer. If we spend time in prayer, we will experience more because we put our cold heart in front of the fire of His desire. That desire touches our hearts and is imparted to us.

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B. As we believe and understand the biblical truth of God as our tender Father and Jesus as the Bridegroom King, we are energized to seek God and experience new delight in our relationship with Him. Our prayer lives become very different when we come to Him with the confidence that He enjoys us. It is enjoyable to talk to someone who really likes you!

As we know the truth about God as a tender Father and Jesus as a Bridegroom King, we are energized in our hearts. We will pray much, much more if we have a right view of God. This is more than taking a class on Jesus the Bridegroom or a class on the Father heart of God. When the enemy comes, we have to speak the truth and resist the accusations of the enemy. He will accuse us night and day, day and night. I know people who have been through all the classes, but in their personal life, they do not engage with that truth, so they still live with a wrong view of God, though they have heard the teachings for years.

Beloved, our prayer life will be very, very different when we have confidence that He desires us, that He enjoys us even in our weakness. When I feel that He enjoys me even when I am not doing all the things I have set my heart to, and He says, “I love the relationship. I enjoy you,” I run to Him instead of from Him.

It does not mean He enjoys every area of our life, but He enjoys the relationship. He enjoys the person. When I have blown it or come up short or did not do the things I was committed to, I say, “Father, at least You like me and You enjoy me. This is the refuge I can come to.” People get disappointed. They will write you off. I say, “God, I know You will not write me off.”

Some people with a wrong view of God think God is the one punishing them because they are not praying or that God is finished with them because they stumbled. It is the exactly opposite. He has the most patience with us. He has the most desire for us. He will be the most longsuffering with our weakness. Do you know what longsuffering means? It means to suffer long. That is really what it means. He will stay with us long beyond what anybody else would. When others give up on you, He has not. When you give up on you, He has not. When you do not like you, He still likes you. That is the refuge. I can say, “Oh, I am home. Abba, You like me. I like people who like me. Father, I like those who like me. Thank You.” I can feel that He is the refuge. He is the home center for my heart and for your heart.

C. We grow in our passion for God by understanding His passion for us—it awakens passion in our heart for Him. Encountering the father heart of God is foundational to growing in prayer. Jesus prayed that His people would know that the Father loves them just as He loves Jesus! 23…that the world may know that You…have loved them as You have loved Me. (Jn. 17:23)

D. We have “received the spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, ‘Abba, Father’” (Rom. 8:15). In Hebrew, abba is a term of endearment for a father, much like “Papa” in our culture; it indicates respect, but with affection and intimacy. The understanding of God as “Abba” and the knowledge of our identity as His children equip us to reject Satan’s accusations that we are hopeless failures.

Paul said we have received the spirit of adoption. We cry, “Abba, Father.” Abba is a term of endearment. In our culture it is like saying, “Papa.” Abba. It is a term of respect, but with affection, an intimacy in our heart. We open our heart without fear. The Abba cry is, “Father, You are the great God, but You are my Papa.”

Some people get silly with their view of God as Abba, as Papa. Do not turn it into silliness. Maintain the “our Father who art in heaven.” He is the Most High God who reigns over the heavens. He is our Father, but “art in heaven” is what Jesus said. So He is the transcendent Most High God, but He is Abba. We come with respect, great respect, but with this endearment, this term of endearment, this confidence and affection, confidence that He likes us. “Abba, Papa, here I am. My heart is hurting. I feel weak.”

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Or, “Papa, I am excited by this thing that has happened in my life.” He has joy with us. He does not just have emotion when we are struggling. He actually feels emotion when we are doing well and our hearts are excited by what He is doing. It touches His heart as well. He is Abba. Beloved, this will equip us to reject Satan’s accusations. We can say, “It is written: He is my Father. He is Abba. I have been adopted into the family.” We approach His throne with confidence.

E. The truth that Abba-God enjoys us, even in our weakness, gives us confidence in prayer. As His sons and daughters, we can approach His throne with confidence and without shame or hesitation.

F. John prophesied of “the Spirit and the bride crying out, ‘Come, Lord Jesus!’”(Rev. 22:17, 20). As sons of God we are positioned to experience God’s throne—as heirs of power (Rom. 8:17). As the Bride of Christ we are positioned to experience God’s heart—His emotions. Jesus is a King with power and a Bridegroom with desire (Isa. 54:4-12; Jer. 3:14; 31:32; Hos. 2:14-23; 3:1-5; Mt. 9:15; 22:1-14; 25:1-13; Jn. 3:29; 2 Cor. 11:2; Eph. 5:25-32; Rev. 19:7-9; 21:9; 22:17).

Jesus is not just a King. He is a Bridegroom King. He is not just a King with power. He is a Bridegroom with desire. He actually delights in us.

G. The Bridegroom message is about Jesus’ fiery emotions for His people and His commitment to share His heart, home, throne, secrets, and beauty with them.

He has fiery emotions. He has tender emotions. He has deep commitments to us. We are His eternal companion forever. He chose us even in our weakness. He wanted you when you did not want Him. He wanted you when you did not want you. He stayed with you and said, “You are with Me forever. You will be my eternal companion forever. You will reign with Me and near Me.” Beloved, do we know who this Man is, who is fully God and fully man?

H. In November 1995, I had a prophetic dream in which the Lord spoke audibly to me as I stood on the stage in a large auditorium of young adults. He said, “Call the people ‘Hephzibah.’” The Hebrew name Hephzibah carries the meaning “The Lord delights in me.” We can be confident in God’s love, knowing He delights to relate to His people as a bridegroom delights in his bride (Isa. 62:4-5).4You shall be called Hephzibah…for the LORD delights in you…5as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you. (Isa. 62:4-5)

I love to tell the story of the dream I had back in 1995. In this dream I am on the large platform. I have said it many times. I heard the Lord audibly speak in the dream, very powerfully, “Call them ‘Hephzibah.’” That is the Hebrew for “God delights in them.” The Lord was saying, “Tell them I delight in them.”

In this very powerful, prophetic dream in 1995, I was down at the Kansas City Convention Center, thousands of young adults. My message was, “Tell them God says, ‘I delight in them. I like them more than they know. Tell them this.’” This view of God is a very important part of growing in prayer. You can set the schedule. You can have the prayer list, but if you have a wrong view of God, your prayer life will not go anywhere. You can have the right view of God, but if you do not make time to talk to Him, you will still pray some because you just love Him as you go, but you will talk to Him far more if you actually put it into the routine of your life on your schedule. You are not limited to your schedule, and you may not keep your schedule 100 percent. But over five and ten years you will end up praying, I believe, ten times more if you make it a part of the routine of your life.

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I. How we view God determines how we approach Him in prayer. If we view Him as aloof or angry, we will not want to pray very much. When we see Him as a tender Father and passionate Bridegroom who desires for us to come to Him, then we will pray much more.

V. TOO BUSY TO PRAY?

A. Most of us feel that we are too busy to pray, but the truth is that we are too busy not to pray. We cannot afford to carry out our responsibilities while living spiritually burned out. The Lord calls all of His children, no matter what occupation—lawyer, doctor, maintenance man, athlete, carpenter, accountant, teacher, homeschooling mom, and so on—to have a real prayer life.

Most of us feel we are too busy to pray. The truth is we are too busy not to pray. Honestly. Because we cannot afford to carry out our spiritual responsibilities spiritually burned out. We cannot afford to carry out our responsibilities, not just spiritual ones, but as moms and dads, as those in the marketplace, without renewal in prayer. You cannot, as a student, be a faithful student if you are spiritually burned out. You cannot succeed as a student that way. We cannot do our work rightly if we are spiritually burned out. We have to have some interaction with the Lord where our spirit is being renewed and invigorated.

The Lord calls all of His children to pray. Whatever occupation. He calls the maintenance man, the doctor, the homeschooling mom, the teacher, the student, the athlete, the IHOPKC department head to pray. I have talked to some who say, “We are so busy that we can’t make it to the prayer room.” Everyone is called to be in prayer. Prayer is about interacting with His heart. They cannot do their job in the way God intended if they are spiritually burned out. We can work for Him, but He wants us to work with Him. Working with Him means having dialogue in the work. Whether the work is a student studying—that is your work—a mom homeschooling, a man loving his wife and raising his family, that is part of the work God gave that person. We will do our work far better working with God rather than for God in those arenas.

B. Some worry that if they take time to pray, they will lose valuable time to love and serve their family, friends, church, or business. People who pray regularly will love their families, friends, and neighbors more, because their hearts will be energized by the Spirit, and their negative emotional traffic will diminish, enabling them to love more deeply and consistently.

Some worry that, if they take time to pray, they will lose time to love their families. They ask, “If I pray, if I take that time to pray, when am I going to get time for my family, my business, or my ministry?”

I have exactly the opposite conclusion. You take time to pray, and you will be a better father. Homeschooling mom, you will love with greater energy and impart more to your children by taking time to interact with God, even though it means time away from your responsibilities. You will carry your responsibilities with a totally different spirit. You need to be spiritually invigorated or be on that pathway, not just be a workaholic in the kingdom.

C. The best thing husbands and wives, dads and moms can do for their marriages and families is to grow in prayer. The same is true for pastors and godly leaders in the marketplace. It is not a question of choosing either work or prayer; we are to engage in both in proper balance and in the right order. Jesus is our example, and He did not permit ministry to others to hinder His prayer life, nor did He allow His prayer life to hinder His ministry to others.

The best thing a man can do to love his wife is have a prayer life. I do not mean he has to pray five hours a day. A man with a prayer life will love his wife and children far more. Women, encourage your husbands. Do not

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badger them, but encourage them in their prayer life. I don’t mean putting tracts under the pillow at night so they think, “Oh no, another message on prayer.” What I mean is, if they are inclined in that direction, don’t say, “What about me? What about time for me?” Know that if your husband touches God, he will like you more. Sanctified selfishness. If he likes God, he will like you more. He will be a better father of your children if he is touching God more. I am not comparing this to the super saint, as in “the man who is like Moses who talks face-to-face on the mountain.” I am talking about the routine growing in God, little by little, month-by-month, year-by-year. It is not a question of choosing work or prayer. We can do both. Jesus did both.

D. Jesus valued prayer: Even after He had ministered long hours in preaching and healing the sick, He still departed to a lonely place to pray—to commune with His Father and be strengthened. If praying was that important to Jesus, how much more important should it be to us? 16“So He Himself often withdrew into the wilderness and prayed.” (Lk. 5:16)46“And when He had sent them away, He departed to the mountain to pray.” (Mk. 6:46)12“He went out to the mountain to pray, and continued all night in prayer to God.” (Lk. 6:12)

VI. TIME FOR BOTH GOD AND PEOPLE

I hear the argument all the time, “I will not have time for people if I make time for God.”

I answer, “No. You can do both. God never gave you an assignment so intense that you do not have time for Him in the assignment. You are carrying the assignment wrongly. You have a wrong view of what the Lord requires of you. You have a wrong view of how this works. When you get burned out, a minute later you will get bitter. A minute later you will drop out of the work. You cannot sustain the work without being invigorated by the Lord. Do not choose people and relationships over time with God.”

Some people go the other way. We will look at that in a few moments. I think that is a cop-out. People say, “I need time with God, so I can’t spend time with others.” It is an excuse for being antisocial. It is a way to avoid other issues. I will cover that in a minute.

A. We have enough time to go deep in God and to relate well to people. We do not have to give up our prayer times in order to fulfill God’s will in our responsibilities related to our jobs and families. I have found that most of us can “steal” time for the kingdom from the time we spend on recreation and entertainment and still have time for our jobs and families. (There are exceptions.)

For most of us, we do not have to give up our prayer times to fulfill the will of God. There are exceptions. Most people can steal some of their time from their entertainment, recreation, and playtime to engage with God in a greater way.

B. We must be fiercely determined to grow in prayer, because our culture has grown increasingly busy and noisy, crowding out the ability to create “sacred space” for fellowshipping with God. However, even with busy work and school schedules, most of us have more time than we realize.

We must be fiercely determined to grow in the Lord. We have to be serious about stealing that time to grow in God. I even mean, at times, getting away from some of our ministry to people. We have to prioritize putting some of that time to use seeking the Lord. Our culture is increasingly busy. Our culture is increasingly noisy. Our culture is crowding out that sacred space of our heart that was meant to interact with God. With this social media generation, there is so much noise and so much conversation and so much activity that many folks who

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love Jesus find their actual interaction with Him is getting less and less because of their perpetual interaction with others through the social media.

C. If we do not schedule our time, others will seize it, and we will live in the tyranny of the urgent, giving ourselves to whatever social event, need, or crisis presents itself to us in the moment.

Here I am saying the same thing a different way. If we do not schedule our time, others will take it. We will end up living in the tyranny of the urgent. That is a phrase that has been used by many over the years, “the tyranny of the urgent.” Whatever urgent situation is presenting itself to us that moment, we do it. Whatever social opportunity, whatever need, whatever crisis, we just leave whatever we are doing for that. There are times to leave what we are doing for those things, but I know many folks who live in the tyranny of doing whatever is presented to them. Five years go by, ten years go by, twenty years go by, they love Jesus, but they have never grown spiritually. They have the same fears. They have the same conclusions in their spiritual life. They have the same dull heart. They have the same lack of understanding the Word of God that they had twenty years ago.

The Lord is saying, “No, My presence is for you.”

“Yeah, but Lord, I am just trying to be a blessing to the people.”

He would say, “Yeah, but you need Me to be a blessing to the people.” You can live in the tyranny of the urgent responding to every situation that calls to you, but there are times we need to say no to people if we are going to grow in God. That is the most difficult challenge in my life.

When I look over the years of leadership, the most difficult challenge is not about money. The biggest challenge is not about doing this or doing that. It is about saying no to people when I want to say yes and they want me to say yes. But I have to say no because the Lord says, “I have called you to do seek Me so you can serve them in a far better way. If you say yes to everyone, your ability to serve them in the spirit will go way down over time.” I find that has been the number one pressure for me as a leader over forty years of pastoring.

D. Some live at the whim of everyone and everything that comes their way, but when they look back over the years, they sadly admit that many of those pressures, opportunities, and “urgent matters” were not connected to their destiny in God or the assignment He had given them in life.

Some people live by the whim of everyone and everything that comes their way.

E. By living by what is important—instead of the tyranny of the urgent—we can live without regret.

We have to live by God’s will in our life, not by everything that comes our way, or we are going to live with regret. We are going to have regret twenty or thirty years from now, or sooner. I do not want to look back over the years and say, “Lord, I wish I would have done it all differently. I wish I would have done this, not that.”

F. Some would be wise to downsize their lifestyles to make time to connect with God. Eliminating some of the nonessential activities we engage in is better than downsizing our time with God.

Some of us need to downsize our lifestyle. We need to downsize some of the things that we do, some of the things we own, some of the things we are responsible for. We need to downsize a few things to make time so that our heart can grow.

G. Ask the Spirit to help you know the best way to spend your time in each season of your life.

The Holy Spirit can lead you best. He will show you what to do, but you must ask Him.

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H. Paul exhorted lethargic believers in the church at Ephesus who were spiritually asleep to awaken and shake off their spiritual lethargy so that Christ would shine on them.14Awake, sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you. 15Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, 16making the most of your time. (Eph. 5:14-16, NAS)

1. Christ’s “shining” on them refers to the Lord releasing His presence to touch their hearts.

2. Paul challenged them to do this by spending their time wisely as the way to experience Christ shining on their heart. In other words, using our time rightly in prioritizing prayer is connected in a practical way to the measure in which we experience Christ shining on our hearts by His manifest presence. We do not earn God’s presence, but we do position ourselves before Him to experience more of it.

3. Instead of saying, “making the most of your time,” some Bible translations say, “redeeming your time.” To redeem our time is to use it with the utmost care so that we may grow in God and extend His kingdom. It involves setting godly and wise priorities for the use of our time.

4. Time is a non-renewable resource in our life. Once we spend that time, we cannot get it back.

In Ephesians 5, Paul gives this very, very important exhortation. He is talking to the church at Ephesus, which had the greatest revival in the New Testament, even beyond the city of Jerusalem. The revival in Ephesus in Acts 19-20 actually surpassed the revival in Jerusalem in power and influence. Here is Paul, within a few years after the great revival, and he is telling them, “Wake up.” He is talking to the saints at Ephesus, to the great revival center of Ephesus. He calls them, “You sleepers,” spiritually he meant. He meant that the believers in that revival center were already becoming lethargic. He said, “Rise up! Shake off the lethargy, and Christ will shine on you.” That means the presence of God touching our heart. That is what that means.

He is talking to born-again believers. He says, “Let me tell you in the most practical way how to arise. Be careful how you spend your time. If you use your time rightly, you will position yourself for Christ to shine on you and for you to cast off spiritually lethargy.”

I know folks who, twenty, thirty years later, are still stuck in the same lethargy they had years ago. It is about time, how they use their time. They are not living in conscious, deliberate sin, defying the Lord’s leadership over and over. That is not the issue. It is not the wrong image of God. It is the wrong use of their time. That is what Paul connects here in verse 15. He says, “You want Christ to shine on you? You want to feel the presence of God more? Take some time to cast off lethargy and be in His presence.” That is not just in a worship service. It is, but it is also time whether corporately or privately when you are talking to the Lord with an open Bible.

I. Establishing time for prayer is one way that we can redeem our time—our time can “purchase” eternal things that last forever. We can invest our time in a way that will lead to our hearts being awakened from the death of passivity to experience more of the “light of God’s presence.”

J. Writer and philosopher Henry David Thoreau recognized the importance of using our time wisely. He wrote, “as if you could kill time without injuring eternity.”

K. With much “expendable time” available to many, we must be careful to invest each day wisely.

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L. The godly, healthy, biblical call to “sacred aloneness” allows us to grow in love. It energizes us to love God and to love people for the long haul. Being connected to Jesus at the heart level through prayer is the lifeline that enables us to sustain ministry for decades without burnout.

M. We can find time for prayer by avoiding the tendency to waste time with idle talk; too much television, social media, or recreation; and an excess of networking (to help our ministries or businesses grow).

N. We have to say no to certain things, even some good things, in order to have time to grow in prayer.

Time for prayer will not suddenly appear in our schedules. We have to seize it by saying no to some legitimate activities.

O. When Martha wanted her younger sister, Mary, to stop sitting at Jesus’s feet and help her prepare the meal, Jesus corrected Martha by telling her that Mary had chosen the good part.41Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. 42But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part.” (Lk. 10:41-42)

The story of Mary and Martha. Martha was busy serving, serving, serving. She goes to Jesus and says, “My little sister Mary, tell her to get with it.”

Jesus rebukes Martha and says, “Martha, I love you, but your little sister has made the better choice.”

Some people misinterpret this passage. They think Jesus is putting sitting before Jesus against serving. No. Jesus said serving is the greatest of all. He is not putting into contrast the one who serves in the kitchen, Martha, and the one who goes to the prayer meeting, Mary. No. He was not rebuking Martha for serving in the kitchen. He was rebuking Martha for serving with a wrong spirit.

Beloved, we are to serve in the kitchen. The servants in the kingdom are the greatest in the kingdom. This is not against serving in the kitchen. That is not what it is talking about. It is talking about serving while being content without interaction with the Lord in our life. He says, “Your little sister is on the right trajectory. She has chosen the right path. You would be wise to pay attention to her. You will serve with a very different spirit, Martha. She has chosen the good part.”

P. During our prayer times it is important to turn off our phones, our email, Facebook, Twitter, and other social media. The person who is overly stimulated with information and communication will not connect with God in the same way as when he turns off his devices during times of prayer.

I encourage people in their prayer times to turn off the social media, the phone, the texting, and the email. I mean you hear this over and over and I say it over and over. Turn off the social media. We can be over-stimulated by information. We will not connect with God in the same way. I do not mean just in the prayer room. I am talking overstimulation in general. Just like you can be over-stimulated physically and work too many hours a day and then not be able to rest in a proper way, you can be over-stimulated emotionally and not rest properly by not turning off some of this stuff to where you can have that sacred space in your heart. We were not created to be in perpetual dialogue with people across the earth, thoughts bombarding us from all these different folks, ideas, and stories. That sacred place was designed to be for your conversation with the Lord. I do not mean you cannot do social media, but we need really reduce it and guard the sacred space in our heart.

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Q. Our culture is over-stimulated with information and visual images, draining us emotionally. Our emotional energy is limited, just as our physical energy is. In the same way that we need to rest after physical exertion, we also need to rest from being over-stimulated emotionally.

VII. PEOPLE WITH A STRONG PRAYER LIFE VALUE RELATIONSHIPS

A. A strong prayer life will eventually lead to strong and healthy relationships.

Do we have to choose between strong relationships or a strong prayer life? I am out of time, but I can tell you we need both. Anybody that has a strong prayer life will have strong relationships in time. It is not one versus the other. A person who grows in love and encounters the love of God will love people better. We do not choose prayer or people. The first commandment, to love God, and the second commandment, to love people, flow out of one reality. When we interact with God, we love God better and we love people better.

B. People who most value their relationships with God and others are those who desire to love with greater depth and consistency. Therefore they are people who desire to grow in prayer.

C. Prayer is not antisocial. In fact, true prayer is the opposite. It is all about love. We must draw back from the over-activity that hinders our ability to love God and people.

D. It is a paradox that it takes time with God to grow in relationship with God and people. Only emotionally uncluttered people who cultivate a quiet heart are able to grow in relational depth. Some blame their antisocial tendencies on their prayer lives, but this is a dangerous cop-out.

E. You do not need to engage in every social event that comes your way just because you value relationships. You will have to say no to some of them, but the relationships you maintain will be healthier.

F. When we lack quality time with God, our quest for deep relationships with people often results in disappointment, frustration, and a sense of loneliness, even in the midst of social activities.

G. To have the highest quality of relationships, we must take time to connect with God, because we simply do not have the emotional resources to relate well unless our hearts are energized and filled with peace by the Holy Spirit.

H. It is not taking time for prayer that leads some into unhealthy isolation and avoidance of relationships, but rather fear, shame, and other emotions.

I. Conclusion: If we will take the necessary time for prayer and implement the three practical steps outlined in this session for developing our prayer life—setting a schedule for regular prayer times, making a prayer list, and cultivating a right view of God—we will find that we will not only grow in prayer, but also in love for God and for people, and we will develop strong relationships.

Amen and amen!

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