Forensic Forensic PsychiatryPsychiatry

StalkingStalking

"Even if I did do this, it would have to have been because I

loved her very much, right?" - OJ Simpson

Do Now: Do Now:

Is stalking socially acceptable? Is stalking socially acceptable?

Eight million American women -- or one in 12 – will be a victim of stalking at some point in their lives.

-Kristin Ohlson

Well Is It? Well Is It?

"The Lloyd Dobler Effect". Emily, like me, is an a crazy fan of John's, specifically of his Lloyd Dobler role in Say

Anything

pepe le pew

Lloyd effect

What is Stalking ?What is Stalking ? a set of "behaviors that last more a set of "behaviors that last more

than two weeks and involves than two weeks and involves repeated and persistent attempts to repeated and persistent attempts to impose on another person unwanted impose on another person unwanted contacts and/or communications contacts and/or communications which induce fear or distress." which induce fear or distress."

--Paul Paul Mullen, M.D.Mullen, M.D.“He always told me he would make me sorry,”

“I never dreamed he would do it by killing our child.”

Who is doing the Who is doing the Stalking ?Stalking ?

____% of the stalkers were male____% of the stalkers were male ____% of the stalkers were ex partners of the victims____% of the stalkers were ex partners of the victims ____% had some form of relationship with the victim____% had some form of relationship with the victim

Who is stalked the most?? Who is stalked the most?? ex-partners professional relationship, fellow employees, ex-partners professional relationship, fellow employees, customers casual acquaintances customers casual acquaintances

the stalkers who assaulted were most likely to be the stalkers who assaulted were most likely to be ____?____?

-(Mullen, Pathe, Purcell, Stuart, 1999: 1244)-(Mullen, Pathe, Purcell, Stuart, 1999: 1244)

Who is doing the Who is doing the Stalking ?Stalking ?

79% of the stalkers were male79% of the stalkers were male 30% of the stalkers were ex partners of the victims30% of the stalkers were ex partners of the victims 86% had some form of relationship with the 86% had some form of relationship with the

victim, victim, including ex-partners (36%), including ex-partners (36%), professional relationship (23%) professional relationship (23%) fellow employees or customers (11%) fellow employees or customers (11%) casual acquaintances (19%)casual acquaintances (19%)

36% (52) of the stalkers attacked their victims, 14 36% (52) of the stalkers attacked their victims, 14 involved sexual assaultinvolved sexual assault

the stalkers who assaulted were most likely to be the stalkers who assaulted were most likely to be rejected ex partners.rejected ex partners.

’ ’ (Mullen, Pathe, Purcell, Stuart, 1999: 1244)(Mullen, Pathe, Purcell, Stuart, 1999: 1244)

According to a 1998 study According to a 1998 study by the Department of by the Department of

Justice. Justice. 8% of women will be 8% of women will be

stalked in their stalked in their lifetime lifetime

Women Women aged 18 to 35 (11%)aged 18 to 35 (11%) aged 36 to 55 (8 %) aged 36 to 55 (8 %) 56 or older (4%)56 or older (4%)

-Paul Mullen, M.D., at -Paul Mullen, M.D., at APA’s 2001 APA’s 2001

2% of men will be 2% of men will be stalked in their lifetime stalked in their lifetime

Men Men ages of 18 and 35 (8%)ages of 18 and 35 (8%) aged 36 to 55 (4%) aged 36 to 55 (4%) aged 56 and older (3%), aged 56 and older (3%),

Professor of forensic Professor of forensic psychiatry at Monash psychiatry at Monash University in Victoria, University in Victoria, Australia. Australia.

Do Now: Do Now: In what ways can stalkers In what ways can stalkers

communicate with their victims?communicate with their victims?

““I have to eliminate what I cannot obtain.”I have to eliminate what I cannot obtain.” Bardo,in a letter to his sisterBardo,in a letter to his sister

Later he killed Rebecca Schaeffer Later he killed Rebecca Schaeffer

Do Now: AnswersDo Now: AnswersIn what ways can stalkers In what ways can stalkers

communicate with their victims?communicate with their victims?

telephone, e-mail, fax, letters, notes, telephone, e-mail, fax, letters, notes, gifts gifts

Attempt to be physically close to the Attempt to be physically close to the victim by approaching, following, victim by approaching, following, surveilling, and loitering near that surveilling, and loitering near that personperson

Do Now 11/12:Do Now 11/12:What might concern you What might concern you

about this letter? about this letter?

How might you describe the How might you describe the stalker’s profile?stalker’s profile?

“He always told me he would make me sorry,” “I never dreamed he would do it by killing our child.”

How might you describe the How might you describe the stalker’s profile?stalker’s profile?

Usually an Usually an isolatedisolated and and shy person shy person , , May be May be unemployedunemployed

Social Failure:Social Failure: one who lives alone, lacks any one who lives alone, lacks any type of important intimate relationship type of important intimate relationship

Narcissistic personality disorderNarcissistic personality disorder and and very low very low self-esteem. self-esteem. The stalker feels that they're the most The stalker feels that they're the most

important person in the world." important person in the world."

Many people stalk someone they have Many people stalk someone they have only met only met brieflybriefly Someone they don't really know, or barely Someone they don't really know, or barely

know. know.

What are Mullen’s Five What are Mullen’s Five Categories of Stalkers Categories of Stalkers

Types Types of of

StalkersStalkers

Mullen’s Five Categories of Mullen’s Five Categories of Stalkers Stalkers

The The PredatoryPredatory

StalkerStalker

The The Resentful Resentful

StalkerStalker

TheThe Incompetent Incompetent

SuitorSuitor

IntimacyIntimacy SeekerSeeker

Rejected Rejected SuitorSuitor

Types Types of of

StalkersStalkers

1. The Rejected Suitor1. The Rejected Suitor

Known as the guy who “just can’t let go.”Known as the guy who “just can’t let go.” Former lover or spouse that refuse to Former lover or spouse that refuse to

believe the relationship is overbelieve the relationship is over They have a narcissistic sense of They have a narcissistic sense of

entitlement and belief this is the only entitlement and belief this is the only relationship they are going to have.relationship they are going to have.

Fluctuate between overtures of Fluctuate between overtures of reconciliation and revenge. reconciliation and revenge.

Most rejected stalkers in Mullen’s study Most rejected stalkers in Mullen’s study had personality disorders. had personality disorders.

The Rejected SuitorThe Rejected Suitor

People - even the victims - feel sorry for People - even the victims - feel sorry for them. them. But studies show that the vast majority of But studies show that the vast majority of

these stalkers are not sympathetic, lonely these stalkers are not sympathetic, lonely people who are still hopelessly in love, people who are still hopelessly in love,

They are/were in fact emotionally abusive They are/were in fact emotionally abusive and controlling during the relationship. and controlling during the relationship.

Many have criminal histories unrelated to Many have criminal histories unrelated to stalking. stalking.

Dealing with the Dealing with the Rejected SuitorRejected Suitor

The victim may unwittingly encourage the stalker by The victim may unwittingly encourage the stalker by trying to "let him down easy," or agreeing to talk to him trying to "let him down easy," or agreeing to talk to him "just one more time." "just one more time."

Victims need to understand is that there is no reasoning Victims need to understand is that there is no reasoning with stalkers. Just the fact that stalking - an unreasonable with stalkers. Just the fact that stalking - an unreasonable activity - has already begun, illustrates this fact. activity - has already begun, illustrates this fact. When the victim says, "I don’t want a relationship When the victim says, "I don’t want a relationship

now," the stalker hears, "She’ll want me again, now," the stalker hears, "She’ll want me again, tomorrow." tomorrow."

When she says, "I just need some space," he hears, "If I When she says, "I just need some space," he hears, "If I just let her go out with her friends, she’ll come back." just let her go out with her friends, she’ll come back."

"It’s just not working out," is heard as "we can make it "It’s just not working out," is heard as "we can make it work out." work out."

In other words, the only thing to say to the stalker is In other words, the only thing to say to the stalker is "no." No explanations, no time limits, no room to "no." No explanations, no time limits, no room to maneuver.maneuver.

Dealing with the Dealing with the Rejected SuitorRejected Suitor

A victim should say "no" once and only once. A victim should say "no" once and only once. And then, never say anything to him again. And then, never say anything to him again. If a stalker can’t have his victim’s love, he’ll take If a stalker can’t have his victim’s love, he’ll take

her hatred or her fear. The worst thing in the world her hatred or her fear. The worst thing in the world for him is to be ignored. for him is to be ignored.

Think of little children: If they’re not getting the Think of little children: If they’re not getting the attention they want, they’ll act out and misbehave attention they want, they’ll act out and misbehave because even negative attention is better than none because even negative attention is better than none at all. at all.

Former intimate partner stalkers have their Former intimate partner stalkers have their entire sense of self-worth caught up in the fact entire sense of self-worth caught up in the fact that, "she loves me." Therefore, any evidence that, "she loves me." Therefore, any evidence to the contrary is seen as merely an to the contrary is seen as merely an inconvenience to overcome. Since giving up inconvenience to overcome. Since giving up his victim means giving up his self-worth, he is his victim means giving up his self-worth, he is very unlikely to do so. Don’t help him hang on.very unlikely to do so. Don’t help him hang on.

2. The Intimacy Seeker2. The Intimacy Seeker The intimacy-seeking stalker intends to The intimacy-seeking stalker intends to

establish a relationship with his "true love" establish a relationship with his "true love" regardless of her wishes. regardless of her wishes.

They believe that their victim loves them and They believe that their victim loves them and that they are having a relationship with the that they are having a relationship with the victim, even though they might never have victim, even though they might never have met. met.

The woman stalking David Letterman, the The woman stalking David Letterman, the stalker who killed actress Rebecca Schaeffer stalker who killed actress Rebecca Schaeffer and the man who stalked Madonna are all and the man who stalked Madonna are all examples examples

Typically write letters to communicateTypically write letters to communicate

2. The Intimacy Seeker2. The Intimacy Seeker The typical profile is that of an unmarried and The typical profile is that of an unmarried and

socially immature loner, who is unable to socially immature loner, who is unable to establish or sustain close relationships with establish or sustain close relationships with others. others.

They rarely date and have had few, if any, sexual They rarely date and have had few, if any, sexual relationships. relationships.

They often pick victims who are unattainable in They often pick victims who are unattainable in some way; perhaps she is married, or has been some way; perhaps she is married, or has been the stalker’s therapist, clergyman, doctor or the stalker’s therapist, clergyman, doctor or teacher.teacher. Those in the helping professions are particularly vulnerable to Those in the helping professions are particularly vulnerable to

this stalker, because of the kindness shown by the soon-to-be this stalker, because of the kindness shown by the soon-to-be victim. victim.

What these stalkers cannot attain in reality is What these stalkers cannot attain in reality is achieved through fantasy and it is for this reason achieved through fantasy and it is for this reason that the delusion seems to be so difficult to that the delusion seems to be so difficult to relinquish: Even an imaginary love is better than relinquish: Even an imaginary love is better than no love at all.no love at all.

Dealing with the Intimacy Dealing with the Intimacy SeekerSeeker

When the victim says "no," he When the victim says "no," he rationalizes it away, believing that, rationalizes it away, believing that, "her husband made her get that "her husband made her get that restraining order, “she really loves restraining order, “she really loves me”me” ““Her agent told her it would be bad for Her agent told her it would be bad for

her career if we dated, but she really her career if we dated, but she really loves me." loves me."

Therefore, as with every type of Therefore, as with every type of stalker, it is imperative that victims stalker, it is imperative that victims have no contact. have no contact.

3. The Incompetent 3. The Incompetent SuitorSuitor

This type is typically a man who had been This type is typically a man who had been rebuffed after asking a woman for a date. rebuffed after asking a woman for a date.

He’s often socially inept, and when He’s often socially inept, and when rejected, begins to stalk with the hope that rejected, begins to stalk with the hope that his persistent behavior will change the his persistent behavior will change the woman’s mind. woman’s mind.

The incompetent suitors can be responsive The incompetent suitors can be responsive to judicial sanctions but are also likely to to judicial sanctions but are also likely to relapse.relapse.

4. The Resentful Stalker4. The Resentful Stalker These offenders express anger in response These offenders express anger in response

to a perception that they have been to a perception that they have been humiliated or treated unfairly by the object humiliated or treated unfairly by the object of their obsession. of their obsession.

They thrive on having a sense of power and They thrive on having a sense of power and control over the victim, and are hard to control over the victim, and are hard to treat because they often see themselves as treat because they often see themselves as the victim.the victim.

Many have paranoid or delusional disordersMany have paranoid or delusional disorders Often stalk colleagues or complete Often stalk colleagues or complete

strangers instead of former partnersstrangers instead of former partners

4. The Resentful Stalker4. The Resentful Stalker

Wants to frighten and distress his victim. Wants to frighten and distress his victim. Stalks his victim to get revenge against Stalks his victim to get revenge against

someone who has upset him. someone who has upset him. Views his victim as being similar to those Views his victim as being similar to those

who have oppressed and humiliated him who have oppressed and humiliated him in the past.in the past.

May view himself as a victim striking May view himself as a victim striking back against an oppressor. back against an oppressor.

5. The Predatory Stalker5. The Predatory Stalker

Predator plans their attack, rehearses it, has Predator plans their attack, rehearses it, has lots of sexual fantasies about it. lots of sexual fantasies about it.

Derives pleasure from gathering information Derives pleasure from gathering information about the target and fantasizing about the about the target and fantasizing about the assault. assault.

Doesn't necessarily know the victim. Doesn't necessarily know the victim. The victim may not know she is being stalked. The victim may not know she is being stalked. They often have prior convictions as sexual They often have prior convictions as sexual

deviants.deviants.

Two Questions:Two Questions:1. Why did we leave off the 1. Why did we leave off the Predatory Stalkers?Predatory Stalkers?2. Predict which stalker is the most 2. Predict which stalker is the most to be concerned about causing to be concerned about causing harm?harm?

From Jack Jordan

Why did we leave off the Why did we leave off the Predatory Stalkers ?Predatory Stalkers ?

Threats (%)Threats (%) Assaults Assaults (%)(%)

Rejected Rejected SuitorSuitor

71%71% 54%54%

Intimacy Intimacy SeekingSeeking

50%50% 23%23%

Incompetent Incompetent SuitorSuitor

32%32% 27%27%

Resentful Resentful StalkerStalker

87%87% 25%25%

Predatory Predatory StalkerStalker

33%33% 50%50%

Predict which is the most to Predict which is the most to be concerned about?be concerned about?

The The rejected rejected and and predatory stalkerspredatory stalkers are most likely to assault their are most likely to assault their victims.victims.

When to Be ConcernedWhen to Be Concerned

The red flags: The red flags: You immediately start getting You immediately start getting

several phone calls or emails several phone calls or emails right after meeting this person. right after meeting this person.

The person is clingy, controlling, The person is clingy, controlling, or upset if you want to spend or upset if you want to spend time with friends and family. time with friends and family.

Marlon Pagtakhan stalked Jerry Ryan

How to Take action: How to Take action:

Tell everyone you know that this is Tell everyone you know that this is going on -- your employer, friends, going on -- your employer, friends, family. family.

Gently but firmly tell the person Gently but firmly tell the person you've decided to move on. you've decided to move on.

Don't get drawn into discussions of Don't get drawn into discussions of why. Just say, "This situation isn't why. Just say, "This situation isn't right for me" or "I'm not ready.." -- right for me" or "I'm not ready.." -- whatever you need to say, but say it whatever you need to say, but say it gently.gently.

What about the victims?What about the victims?

Victims are often forced to alter their Victims are often forced to alter their lives to avoid the stalker. lives to avoid the stalker.

Mullen’s study found: Mullen’s study found: 53% of his subjects quit or changed jobs53% of his subjects quit or changed jobs 40% moved to a different home40% moved to a different home 70% curtailed social activities. 70% curtailed social activities.

Professionals at Risk, Professionals at Risk, What about the victims?What about the victims?

In addition to the physical dangers, In addition to the physical dangers, stalking takes a severe psychological stalking takes a severe psychological toll on its victims. toll on its victims. 83% Subjects were diagnosed with an 83% Subjects were diagnosed with an

anxiety disorderanxiety disorder 37% with posttraumatic stress disorder 37% with posttraumatic stress disorder

(PTSD). (PTSD). Additional 18% had PTSD symptoms but Additional 18% had PTSD symptoms but

did not meet formal diagnostic criteria. did not meet formal diagnostic criteria. 24% had ideas of suicide 24% had ideas of suicide 25% percent increased their alcohol 25% percent increased their alcohol

consumption and/or cigarette smokingconsumption and/or cigarette smoking