Football Injury

Page 10

Soccer

Fight

Page 9

World Series

Page 19

All Natural

Ingredients

Only at $99.99 per

bottle!

Call 1-800-energynow for your free first bottle! Or visit www.Energyinabottle.com/order/now!

Instant

Energy

Our hockey pucks are

covered in a slippery wax

coating all over them to

make the puck slide faster

and give you the winning

advantage!

Only

$2.99

per puck!

By: Adam Wege

When you buy a

pack of 5 Slick

Hockey Pucks, you

get 1 free!

Have a question? Concerns? No problem,

just call 1-800-974-7764 or go to

www.slickhockeypucks.com today!

5… Letter from the Editor

7 … Letters to the Editor

8 … “Top 10 Sports Teams” By: Nick Ramirez

9 … “Football Injury” By: Devon Young

10 … “The Soccer Fight” By: Jacob Biese

12 … “Top 10 Football

Players” By: Blake Kalawitz

13 … “The Spray and Play” By: Andrew Yang

15… “Phil Power” By: Matt Hodson

17… “Men and Women’s Super Dive” By: Spencer Krake

19 … “The Yunkees Lost” By: Brad Hansel

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Dear Readers,

I am writing to thank you for having

the time to pick up my magazine and spend

your hard earned money to read it. If you did

pick this magazine up it probably means you

love sports, but I don’t want you just to

watch the sports I want you to play them

too. This magazine I have put a lot of hard

work into making this magazine and I had a

lot of fun doing it too. I want this magazine

to make you think how great every sport is

from basketball, to hockey, to soccer. I want

you to think that you can play whatever

sports you want and how you can have a lot

of fun playing them with friends on teams

too. I want you to think about how great

sports can be so you can go out and try all

the sports there are. I would also like you to

see all the different sports teams out there

too.

The purpose of me writing this

magazine was plain and simple to make you

the reader want to get outside and play

nothing but sports. Sports can be an easy

and fun way to get great exercise and spend

time with your family. I want you to get

your needed sixty minutes outside and enjoy

while playing games like H-O-R-S-E or P-I-

G and plus you can play catch with a

football or a baseball. So what I am trying to

say is to go out and EXERCISE and have

FUN doing it

Some of my experiences in

developing this magazine are that it is really

not as easy as it sounds. With all the

deadlines that you have to meet it is a

wonder that I got them all done in time. I

also realized that getting people to get your

work done on time can be really hard too.

Some of the people who I found wrote really

great stories were Jacob Biese, who is the

author for “The Soccer Fight”, Devon

Young, who wrote “The Football Injury”,

and Matt Hodson, who wrote “Phil Power”.

I really didn’t see a lot of hand drawn

pictures in seen as I am a digital magazine

so I really couldn’t say who did really good

art. I also found out that money is not easy

to keep track of you can end up one deadline

with you over by five hundred dollars and

the next deadline being under by one

thousand dollars.

Some of the struggles I had with

writing this magazine are that you really

have to push people to get work done for

you or you are never going to get what you

need. Figuring out even prices were

challenging too. Some people tried to take

your money and some people just didn’t pay

enough in general. Some of the successes I

had were that I made four thousand dollars a

nice profit; I also had the success of writing

successful stories so that I got my deadlines

done in time…..thank god. All in all I

believe I had a pretty successful project.

This magazine is part of the world

wide phenomena of sports and sports are

what I tried to bring you in this magazine.

So I hope you love football, baseball,

basketball, and hockey, and soccer. I want

you to learn about the different opportunities

from playing sports in recreational leagues

or school or just having fun.

I believe that in sports there are not

winners and losers and if you try your best

and give one hundred percent every time

you are on a field, court, or diamond you

can call yourself a winner and as long as you

try hard and have fun, that is what sports is

about. So I am asking you to go out of your

comfort zone and try something new you

have never done before because trying

things can be really good for you.

Like I said before I had a lot of fun

making this magazine and I hope you

LETTER FROM

enjoyed reading it and I hope it was worth

your time. If you liked the magazine I hope

you subscribe to it again and again.

Sincerely,

Mitchell Lohrenz

Editor in Chief, Breathe, Eat,

and Sleep Sports

THE EDITOR

Dear Editor:

I am writing to congratulate you on

your helpful tips on playing sports like a

pro. I’ve seen a major improvement in my

coordination and will recommend every

sport lover or player to read this magazine.

You also gave me eating and workout tips

that helped me reach the peak of my

physical abilities. I will read and subscribe

to this magazine as much as possible. Keep

making great magazines.

Sincerely,

Michael Nikodem

Asiantown, Asia

Dear editor,

I am writing to you today to complain about

your new brand of hockey puck. They are

just little plastic disks that are hollow in the

middle. I tried to use them on the ice and

when it hit a post, it snapped in half! What

kind of puck is supposed to snap in half

when it hits the post? Not a hockey puck,

that’s for sure. I want my money back

because this was not worth the three dollars

that I spent on it. It also doesn’t even glide

on the ice. It just skitters and hops when it

hits a little patch of snow. This puck sucks,

this magazine sucks, and you suck.

Sincerely,

Jacob Mulroy.

New York, New York

Dear Editor,

Thanks a lot for your advice on

buying these new football cleats. I was so

amazed when I put them on. They do not

hurt my feet while running and they grip like

there is no tomorrow. I am so happy that you

recommended these cleats for me in your

last issue. Just for that I am so excited to

read your upcoming issues.

Thanks again for all of the help!

Since you were so amazing and helped me, I

will be subscribing to your magazine for a

minimum of three or four full years! Thanks

again!

Sincerely,

Trevor Greil

Bikini Bottom, WI

By: Nick Ramirez

Top Ten Sports Teams

The following ten teams have been recognized for their outstanding play during games.

They have had great teamwork and know how pull it through when the odds are against

them. Throughout their respective seasons they have showed playing worthy of being on

this list. They have been ranked in order, 1 being most outstanding.

1. Roswell Aliens (Basketball)

2. Tucson Chili Peppers (Baseball)

3. MiddleBrook Mustangs (Football)

4. L.A. Universe (Soccer)

5. Austin Armadillos (Football)

6. New York BlackHawks (Hockey)

7. Coast City Angels (Baseball)

8. London FC (Soccer)

9. Washington Wombats (Basketball)

10. Bridgeport Blades (Hockey)

Football Injury

By: Deven Young

The Grass is low-cut and lively

green. Football fans cheering and the players

are getting ready to play. Friends cheering

for their favorite teams and the cheerleaders

are energizing the crowd.

Is what college football star David

Gild,

Tomaha

wks star

quarterb

ack,

would

have

been

seeing if

he hadn’t been injured in his previous game.

The Tomahawks had been playing their

rivals the Cowboys when a defensive

lineman, identity is being protected for the

defensive lineman’s safety, playing for the

cowboys charged forward and drop kicked

David Gild. Lucky for David the helmet he

had been wearing took most of the shock.

The Tomahawks coach is currently fighting

over whether the game should be postponed

or whether the game should be given to the

Tomahawks so they can go to the Ultra

Bowl, seeing as the cowboys are currently

two wins and ten losses.

The 300 lb. defensive lineman was a

WWTS, World Wrestling Television Show,

want to be who studied and often tried to

perform the highly dangerous moves he saw

on television. The lineman had tried to

perform other dangerous moves on his

teachers, fellow students, friends, and

family.

David is in the emergency room

currently and is suffering from a severe

migraine, what the doctors call the steam

roller effect, (where the patient is flatter than

paper) and a few broken bones. David says

he broke the bones when the defensive

lineman landed on top of him, but the

counselor is looking into whether that is fact

or if David would get detention for making a

fat joke. There is no word from David about

whether he is going to play in the Ultra bowl

or if he is going to sit the rest of the year

out.

The teachers are starting a fund

raiser for David’s

surgery to get his

body back to regular

so he can win the

Ultra Bowl and the

teachers can win their

bets.

The world’s

brightest minds are

currently trying to

find out how the

300lb. defensive lineman got his feet six feet

and three inches in the air. So far the

scientists are researching the possibility of

the boy having really strong legs, but some

conspiracies are going around that the

defensive lineman was the son of Hulk or

Superman. When asked, Hulk and Superman

both denied any relations to the Defensive

lineman.

This strange phenomenon is a once

in a lifetime experience to see and all the

people in the crowd say they are going to

remember this game for all their life, and

what one fan quoted “Wow! That was

amazing! That quarter Back guys flatter than

a pancake. I can’t wait to tell my kids about

this!”

Scientists are still trying to get

permission from the parents and the

government to dissect the boy and see what

caused the boy to get so high in the sky.

The parents are fighting viciously to

keep their son but it looks like the

government is going to have the boy

dissected so his ability can be used to create

a new breed of super soldiers to take over

the world and the other planets. The

government is already looking for planets to

attack.

In order to proceed with the

dissection, the surgeons are asking that the

government supply them with a saw, a large

vacuum, a hose, an island, and a signed

photo of Kanye West.

The Fight of the Century!

BY: Jacob Biese

Ladies and gentlemen we

have just heard of a

massive fight happening in

Los Angeles, California.

With a hurtful number of

fifteen dead and over one-

hundred wounded. This

fight had begun after a

penalty kick in a match

between the L.A. Stompers

and the Massachusetts

Meteors. The fight began

when there was a slide

tackle by one of the L.A.

Stompers and injuring the

star player of the Meteors

Jonas Jackson in the six

yard box. One of the L.A.

Stompers instantly ejected

the call and start blaring at

the ref. When it got to far

the ref gave the player a

red card, but the player

wasn’t done yet he shoved

over the ref and started

punching him directly into

his face. Exactly at that

moment the Meteors

grabbed the Stomper

player and pulled him

away, but then the

Stompers team mates

decided to join and made it

all out fight. Three of the

L.A. stompers players have

died from this horrible

accident, and a five more

from the Massachusetts

meteors. The other nine

deaths were from the

crowds and the stampedes

and the riot control.

Luckily the injured Meteor

player from the slide kick

got out before the fight

began. This is truly a very

sad story and it all just

started from a small

penalty.

A snap shot of the penalty in a close view.

Packer game: 2 free

tickets, 2 large beverages

one free refill each, one

free 2 foot long hot dog.

Sports Coupons

Brewer game: 1

ticket, meet the

players, chance to

throw the first

pitch of the game.

PGA game: 1 ticket,

medium soda, no refills, 1

golf cart.

Green Bay Gamblers

game: 1 free ticket,

meet the players, get a

free lesson on ice

skating.

Super Bowl: 5 free tickets, meet

players on both teams after the

game, 10 free extra large

beverages, 6 free 2 ½ foot long hot

dogs, and two signed footballs

from the 2 teams that played.

By: Jade Polus-Criscione

Top 10 Football Players

By: Blake Kalwitz

1. Tyreese Jacobson- Los Ryandenberg Stingers, WR: his

superior leaping ability and great hands make him a threat on

every play.

2. Knowlton Harris- Demenville Rockets, MLB: astounding in

coverage, great leader, and delivers bone-crunching hits all

game, every game.

3. Jamison Harold-Jersalda Grizzlies, RB: explosive, nimble,

and powerful are all the qualities you look for in a running

back, Harold has all three.

4. Damion Dacreed- Holstein Cowlicks, QB: has great arm

strength, out-of-this-world knowledge, and can shred a

defense throughout a game.

5. Trevon Reminski- Hawkins Eagles, WR: goes up and meets

the ball at its highest point, not afraid to go over the middle,

and is one of the best blocking wide-outs in the game.

6. Jorman Tulley- Tallis Jets, RB: runs through tackles like

nobody’s business and has a raw determination that few

athletes ever possessed.

7. Thresh Jalenson-Dallen Sharpshooters, CB: great sense of

the field and ball-hawking skills make quarter backs terrified to

throw to his man.

8. Hayes Beydes-Guener Lumberjacks, WR: although he is

undersized (5’8”, 165lbs) he is super quick in and out of his

routes and leaves defenders in his dust.

9. Eddie Jerlander-Hillnope Supermen, QB: incredible

intangibles, and an amazing arm.

10. Gennings Renolyd- Billinger Cowboys, RB: absurd

athleticism, enough said.

The Spray and Play

By: Andrew Yang

Need a source of energy that doesn’t

make you crash afterwards? Well we have

the product for you.

This new unique product is designed

to work by giving you a burst of energy to

go that extra step. The easiest application of

a little spray to the underarm and instant

energy is acquired. Just let the spray do its

magic, and along with more energy, the

wonderful ten new scents will be worth your

while. With just a simple payment of

$10.49, you can be smelling great and attain

an extra burst of energy.

This new product is the new break

through for everyone because along with the

new line for men there is also a line of

fantastic scents for women. Now everyone

can smell good and attain energy!

Now if you are thinking that this

product is too good to be true, it’s not. All

you have to do is try it in order to know the

wonderful affects of the “Spray and Play”.

This new product is made with

natural aromas and is extracted from a plant

that prevents the sweat glands from

producing excess body odor. Who doesn’t

want to smell amazing? This new harmless

deodorant will be the next hot product for all

ages and genders. And if you are wondering

on where this awesome product can be

purchased, just visit our website,

www.Spray&Play.com, or call 1-800-646-

2353. Easier yet, Spray and Play can be

bought at any local drug store. So go now!

You can will smell great and acquire a new

sensation of energy.

Since I am confident this product

will change you for the better, I am offering

a special discount, but act fast because this

offer won’t last forever. This offer only

stands if you call our company to order our

Spray and Play. Call now, our number again

is 1-800-646-2353 and you can experience

the wonderful affects of the Spray and Play!

By: Cody Zegers

Glowing Basketballs

This basketball can glow in the

dark, so a person can find it in a

dark room.

$29.99 for a

limited time only

Phil Power

By: Matt Hodson

Phil Power is a young pitcher who was born

and raised in Madison, Wisconsin. He is

twenty years old and is a once in a lifetime

pitcher. In my opinion he is the best pitcher I

have seen in my life. He throws at a speed of

around 110 and has a wicked curveball.

Phil got a scholarship to Madison College

for baseball. He played there for two years

until he was a junior in college. At that age

he decided to transfer to the MLB draft. He

was predicted to be the number 1 overall

pick in the 2012 MLB draft.

When the time for the draft finally came Phil

was so excited to enter the draft. He showed

up extra early and he was prepared for both

outcomes. The first and better one is that he

would be picked number one overall. The

other outcome which is a worse one is that

he might not even be picked in the first

round.

Finally the time has come of the 2012 MLB

draft. All of the players were there and ready

to hopefully hear their name to be drafted.

The owner of the MLB came to the

microphone and announced that the first

pick of the 2012 MLB draft the Seattle

Cowboys select the pitcher from Madison

Wisconsin Phil Power. He got out of his

chair and couldn’t believe what he just

heard. He was filled with joy that he was

picked first.

When the time came for his first ever major

league game, he had never been more

pumped and never had more energy as a

pitcher. The Cowboys were playing the New

York Big Shots. They won the World Series

last year. Both of these teams have never

been more prepared for a baseball game.

The pressure was on for both teams. If New

York lost they would be known as the team

that lost their first game after winning it all

last year. If Seattle lost their star rookie

pitcher Phil Power would have lost his first

ever major league game.

The first batter from New York stepped up

to the plate. Phil started his windup and then

threw his first pitch as a pitcher in the big

leagues. It went right down the middle past

the batter for a strike. His first inning in the

major league he threw three strikeouts in a

row. Then his first at bat he smacked it out

in center field for a base hit. At the end of

the game he threw a perfect game. A perfect

game is probably the hardest thing that a

pitcher could do.

Half way through the season he has a perfect

game, four no hitters, and his record is 10-0.

Also his batting average is a .455 which is

the best batting average for pitchers and of

all players this season. Everyone is talking

about how good he is and how bright his

future is going to be.

His team is first in the MLB and is predicted

by all of the sports casters to win the World

Series. Their team record is 71-1. They have

the best start in baseball history. This team

went from last place last year, to the best

record in baseball history.

The end of regular season came so fast for

these players but it is time to start the

playoffs. In the first round the Cowboys are

predicted to sweep the Blue Sox. The first

pitcher that the Cowboys played in the

playoffs was of coarse Phil Power. The first

game was an easy game along with the

second, third, and the fourth. They advanced

to the World Series.

They had to play the team that took second

last year which is the Rockets. They have

been prepared for this series all year. After

the first six games the series is tied three to

three. Phil Power pitched the final game.

And pitch he did. He threw a no hitter in the

World Series. He shocked the world and

made baseball history once again. He was

also named rookie of the year and the best

player that I have seen.

Men and Women Super Extreme Diving

By: Spencer Krake

There is wimpy, there is medium,

there is super, there is ultimate, there is

extreme and then there is super extreme.

This article will be all about super extreme

diving from space into a pool. There is

people that want to do this and nobody

knows why. This is the most extreme (or

should I say SUPER EXTREME!) article

you will ever read.

Some people can be CRAZY. People

actually do sports so extreme that they will

blow your mind. People have never done

something so extreme such as diving from

rockets into pools that are five to twelve feet

deep. A man by the name that people may

not know jumped from a distance breaking

records from 10,000 miles from the sun. He

survived and only had a broken arm. He

received two certifications saying that he

could dive again.

Another person, a woman, jumped

from a distance of 9,999 ½ miles from the

moon. She only had a sprained her wrist and

she has the highest record for girls. She was

celebrated by girls all over the world and

even somewhere in the universe aliens

celebrated her brave and fun journey back to

earth.

The most famous diver named

William J. Hubertyurt jumped from a rocket

on the moon and orbited earth nine times

then fell in to the world’s largest pool. He

was in books and magazines he got

handshakes from the last three presidents.

He was the most famous man in history. He

was the richest man that ever lived. This

man was crazy enough to get rich and

famous in fifteen years. It took him ten years

to orbit the moon and it took him five years

to get to the moon, fall to earth, and fall into

the pool with a cannonball swan dive.

Three more people turned out to be

rich and famous at the same time. They do

not want their name in this article. They did

a triple swan dive mechanical twist. This

move took years to master and hours to

create the equipment. They jumped at

30,100 miles from earth. They did not take

long to get to earth because they had special

rocket boots that mad the moves easier and

get to earth faster they were the first three

people to do a three person dive. They were

also the youngest people to dive from this

distance. These three people should have

shaken William J. Hubertyurt’s hand and

given a medal of enthusiastic super diving.

The three people could not make it due to an

explosion in their house due to an

unsuspected gas leak. thankfully nobody

was injured. They were all at Mc. Donald

kings to eat lunch with their goldfish.

These people were all the people that

made world records and they received a

certificate saying that they could jump again

at any given time. William J. Hubertyurt

recently broke his record May 12, 2012. He

jumped from Mars and landed in a pool that

was not any bigger than a small puddle of

water, and nineteen feet deep. And the same

three people completed a triple swan dive

double mechanical twist with a dash of ice

cream from the moon and landed in the

same pool that William landed in at exactly

right when he got out of the pool. They

shook his hand there, so everyone got what

they wanted and again they got another

certificate.

William died May 12, 2012 in a car

accident after he left the pool and shook

people’s hands. Everybody was sad when

they found out so they made a big memorial

in his honor. The person who crashed into

him was actually the woman’s friend who

assisted her on her dive.

Rest in peace William J. Hubertyurt

Born in 1983 and died in 2012.

Miller Baseballs

www.millerbaseballs.com

920-258-0002

THE NEWEST AND GREATEST

BASEBALL SINCE WILSON,

WITH THE TIGHTEST

STRINGS AND WHITEST BALL

YET!

THIS BASEBALL IS

JUST $5.99. BUY

THEM WHILE THEY

LAST, FOR THIS IS

A LIMITED TIME

OFFER!

These

baseball

bats are

heavy duty

bats that

a lot of

big league

hitters

use and

have

success

from

these

players all

have

positive

ratings

on this

bat.

These

hard

hitting

bats can

be found

at your

local

retailers

store

and can

also be

bought

at

www.bob

sbats.co

m for a

price of

$60.

Questions call 1-

800-332-9944

By: Mitchell Lohrenz