Michael Sams Closet

Weekly NewsletterThis is first issue of our new weekly newsletter. I may or may not add more or change stuff around from week to week. As your commissioner this newsletter will have complete bias

as to what I think. Enjoy the first edition! I decided not to do my own, mostly because I dont want to and you all know how great your commisioner is.

vs.

Dante Spencer

In what many might consider a surprise, Spencer fucked up Dante this week. By a score of 128.76 to 119.14. Dante started TY Hilton, which is always a mistake. Leaving Kelvin on the bench which would have won him the week. Thank god spencer started Julian Eddleman instead of Tavon Austin. Spencer was quoted as saying he had a “feeling” about Tavon. Im not sure what feeling that was besides almost getting blue balled by him.

vs.

Tyler Carl

Continuing his raping ways, Tyler raped Carl this week. Carl had an oppertunity to take the reigns back from Tylers merciless victory record. But alas Tyler beat Carl 115.06 to 90.68. Although I could also say that the Denver Broncos offence beat Carls team. Carl’s team that is all currently in the hospital recovering from what only can be descriped as an apocolypse of injuries to his team. Tyler made a wise decision by not playing that sorry ass reciever Michael Crabtree.

Kile Bodack

vs.Congradulations Bodack you started this season just like last. Hopefully you can keep it up this year though. Kile made it through a game without any of his players getting injured, so it must be a new year! Bodack beat Kile 140.30 to 122.60. I guess most running backs this week took the night off. Both teams rb’s put up measly points. Much like Eli Manning none of them were effective. Maybe Kile will realize how shitty Victor Cruise is with that monkey throwing to him.

Peter Sco

vs.This is for sure the surprise game of the week. Congradulations Peter I was wrong. Your team came through for you this week. In a week where Calvin Johnson goes off with more than 30 points. Peter beat Sco 137.56 to 136.20. A score closer than Bodacks dick to Dante’s butthole on a Saturday night. Sco I expected better from you. Hopefully you dissapoint again next week when I crush your hopes and dreams with my glorious team.